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Visibility Is A Leadership Skill · Divas That Care Network

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: It's Divas That Care Radio.
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_00: Stories, strategies, and ideas to inspire positive change.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Divas That Care, a network of women committed to making our world a better place for everyone.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_00: This is a global movement for women, by women engaged in a collaborative effort to create a better world for future generations.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: To find out more about the movement, visit divas that care.com after the show.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_00: Right now, though, stay tuned for another jolt of inspiration.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_02: Welcome back to Confidence in Bloom, where we explore what it really means to grow into the most aligned, confident version of yourself without shrinking, apologizing, or waiting for permission.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_02: This month we're diving into our theme, Unapologetically Unique, and today's conversation is such a powerful reflection of that.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_02: Because really, here's the truth.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_02: Being exceptional isn't always enough if you're not being seen that way.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_02: Today I'm joined by KJ Blattenbauer, a two-time best-selling author and strategic PR advisor who helps leaders turn visibility into undeniable authority.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_02: She's the founder of Hearsay PR and the creator of creator of The Pitchworthy Philosophy, a powerful approach to building credibility that earns influence, not just attention.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_02: We're talking about perception, identity, and what it really takes to stop being overlooked and start being taken seriously without losing who you are in the process.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_02: If you've ever felt like your work speaks for itself but still isn't getting the recognition it deserves, this conversation is going to shift something for you.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, welcome, KJ.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_02: I'm so excited to talk with you today.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you for having me.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_02: Happy to be here.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, great.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_02: I'm so excited.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, so let's talk about um how you talk about perception uh and how it often outpaces performance.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_02: How does this impact women who are quietly doing incredible work but still feel like they're being overlooked?
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_01: I think as women, we're taught to be seen and not heard, right?
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_01: We're taught to do great jobs, do amazing things, and we do great jobs.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_01: We do amazing things.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_01: Women can accomplish anything before noon on a Tuesday that other people only think about doing, right?
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_01: We can do anything we put our mind to.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_01: Where we have been trained by society and like social norms is that okay, you do the great thing, let the work speak for itself.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_01: If you promote what you're doing, if you talk about what you're passionate or excited about, it's seen as boasting or bragging, or you kind of make the people in the room around you, your friends, feel less than if you're achieving more.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_01: And so we we diminish ourselves and we don't talk about ourselves because we're worried about appearing conceited or one of those words.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_01: But the truth is, if you start a business, if you're passionate about something, you need to share that with the world because you're gonna be helping others, right?
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_01: Especially if you have your own business.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_01: No one can buy from you, whether it's a product or service, no one can shop your store, no one can use your app, no one can purchase your product if they've never heard of it.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_01: And they're not gonna hear of it unless you're the one speaking out about it.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_01: So promoting yourself, it's not bragging.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_01: Visibility is not vanity, it is a leadership skill, and it's you being a leader, showing your expertise to the world.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_01: Because sadly, with all the noise out there, social media and otherwise, people claiming they're experts when they're not, the best work doesn't speak for itself anymore.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_02: And that that's it's actually kind of sad when you look at it that way.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_02: And it's also like um women don't want to talk about how they can lead, they don't really want to talk about how I can do this better or how I am doing this well, right?
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_02: Because number one, the competition, they don't really want to compete, right?
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_02: And if they do want to compete, they want to be the best at what they're doing, right?
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_02: And unfortunately, right, like women, other women are not gonna fight that.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_02: They're not like, you know, or they're gonna fight and it's gonna get ugly.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_01: True, true, but it's a perception shift.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_01: Queens don't fight, queens do not argue.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_01: We we hold everyone else's crown, we make space for them, we make sure the crowns are on right, right?
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_01: You can be the best in your field, and I can be the best in my field, and there could still be things about business I can learn from you, and there could still be things about business you could learn from me.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_01: I'm in public relations, and literally here in Dallas, Texas, I could probably throw a rock and hit four other public relations people.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not worried about that.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_01: There's more than enough work for us to go around.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_01: And actually, it would benefit us sometimes to partner to help other people succeed.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_01: And so when you come at it from a place of, it's not about me, it's not about me being the best.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_01: Although I do, I want to do the best work I can do for my clients.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_01: I want to be the best at what I do, but that doesn't mean I don't want other people to succeed.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_01: If you approach it from that and from a place of service where it's not about KJ, the person, it's about what does KJ know that can help others?
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_01: It sheds a whole new light on interaction.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not worried about flying too close to the sun and making it all about me.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_01: I'm thinking about it as I have this gift.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_01: I'm really good at helping people tell their stories.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_01: I'm really good at people getting the attention that they deserve, which leads to clicks, conversions, more customers.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_01: It can change their life.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_01: And so if I kept that to myself, that is selfish.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_01: That I think is a negative.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_01: If I share it, if I put it out there, if I talk it up about what I'm good about, that's helping other people.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_01: There is no shame in that whatsoever.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_01: And it doesn't mean that I don't want the next person, like I'm not holding the next person down.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_01: If I can use my skills to help another woman achieve her goals, I'm gonna do it all day long.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_01: In fact, that's my favorite part about what I get to do every day.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_02: Watching, watching others shine, right?
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that's how I see it too.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_02: I don't see it as, you know, oh, she does the same job as me, so she can't be my friend.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_02: No, it's more about look at that client, she worked with that client and look at her go.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_02: Like, good for her.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_02: Like she knew how to get to that.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_02: Because I mean, we all, and I'm sure you see it in your business as well.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_02: When a when someone comes to you for help, usually we're in our own way, right?
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_01: As a client.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_01: All the time.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_01: Or you just want permission.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_01: You know the answer, but you just want someone to give you permission.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_01: I kind of think about it like the potato chip aisle.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_01: Like, if you go to the grocery store and you look at the potato chip aisle, there are more than, I mean, I don't even know how many different kinds of chips there are, but there are like 17 different kinds of like regular plain potato chips.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_01: There, I I look at women in business like that too.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_01: There's room on the shelf for all of us.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_01: We just got to move over a little bit so they can fit.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_02: And make room and support them.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I agree.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_02: I love that.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_02: I love that.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_02: So how so someone who um wants to own their story and not be apologetic about it, especially if, you know, I mean, we've all spent those that time where we kind of downplay even to this day.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_02: There's women that, you know, if you said, What have you done?
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_02: Like, what have you succeeded at in your life?
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_02: They they always like they are either apologetic about it or they hide it.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_02: How do how do you help them through that?
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_01: I help them, I help them recognize what do they really want to be known for?
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_01: And once they know what they really want to be known for, we work backwards.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, this is what you really want to be known for.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_01: Where are we right now?
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_01: What are all the things we've achieved so far?
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_01: And what do we need to do to get to what you want to be known for?
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_01: But when you take a step back and look at where you are now and all the things you've achieved, I think we can all agree, no matter where we are in our career, yeah, maybe we'd want to be further along.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe we thought we'd be there faster.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe we're not where we want to be right now.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_01: But the truth is you're exactly where you're meant to be at this moment in time.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_01: And if your 16-year-old self looked at where you are now, they would be blown away by all the cool things you've done or get to do, or people you know, or things you tried.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_01: They'd be like, wow, this person's a badass.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_02: I love that.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_02: I love that.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_02: Um, now you're you wrote a book, Pitchworthy, right?
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_02: How does that um like what does it really mean to be pitchworthy?
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_02: And how does it connect to embracing your uniqueness?
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I think I think we're all big deals and we need to start acting like it, especially women.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_01: And so pitchworthy is half PR.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_01: Here's how you DIY public relations for yourself to promote your business, to use all the free channels the media provides you to get the story out about what you do.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_01: But because we're women and we're not used to asking for what we need, or like we talked about earlier, we're used to diminishing our own light, the other half is a pep talk.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_01: Like, hey, you're worthy.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_01: No matter what you do, you've created something, you had an idea, you brought something to life bigger than you, your story matters.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_01: Even if you think that it doesn't, you are worthy of putting yourself out there, you're worthy of the praise, you're worthy of the attention that goes with what you created.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_01: And so it's half permission and it's half, hey, here's how you make this happen.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_02: Wow.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_02: So that's that sounds a little difficult, I'll be honest, right?
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_02: But I also like I and I'm just thinking, like, we all well, I say we all, but I mean like I usually mean women in general, and I know that that it is changing.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_02: So what we all we often struggle with like like visibility in general, right?
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_02: But it also like I think visibility it creates that you know that the inside dialogue, right?
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_02: Where, oh, I don't want to be judged.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_02: I don't want someone to misunderstand what I'm saying because this is what happens, right?
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so when these women come to you and they need help with you or from you to get them visible, and what do you say to them?
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_02: Like what do you what how do you tell them that that this is what's holding you back?
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_01: I, you know, I try and make it relatable.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_01: I'm from a very small town.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_01: I learned very early on that no matter what you do, good, bad, and different, people are going to talk about you.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_01: And it might make you feel a certain way, but at the end of the day, thanks to a lot of therapy, I know that it's none of my business what anyone thinks about me.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_01: And to move my business forward, to move my life forward, to reach my goals, what's important to me, what's important to my family, I have to attract the right people and build my community and repel other people.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_01: There are gonna people that don't like me.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_01: I think online some people will call them haters.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_01: I call them fans with alternative fan theories.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_01: Everything is engagement, everything is exposure, and everything is a lesson.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_01: And I think when you approach it from that lens where it's like, who cares?
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_01: Who cares what anyone else thinks about me?
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_01: You know, if I'm not doing what I want to do because I'm afraid of what anyone else thinks, I'm at zero.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_01: If I try something and I fail, at least I tried.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_01: And if I failed, I learned a lesson, which puts me ahead of zero, right?
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_01: People are going to talk about you no matter what you do.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_01: They're gonna be jealous that you tried.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_01: They're gonna make fun of you because they're insecure or uncomfortable.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_01: That's not a you problem.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_01: That's a them problem.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_01: And as soon as you can separate yourself from that, it is none of your business what people think about you.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_01: They're going to talk anyway.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_01: Go live your best life.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_01: Give them really good stories to talk about.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I love how you said that.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_02: I remember growing up, my mom used to always say, you can't make everyone happy, right?
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_02: And it can't come down to they're gonna talk anyway, right?
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_02: But you also hit a really good point where it's not about you, right?
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_02: It's about them and their insecurities and their lack of ability to do what you're doing in one way or another.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_02: That doesn't mean that they can't do it, but they look at that and they go, I would never do that, right?
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_02: But the truth is it's not about you, it's about them.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_01: Whenever I feel down about myself, whenever I question things, whenever I'm like, oh God, like this was cringe and I was uncomfortable.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_01: I turn on reality television.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_01: You can watch the worst reality television and you can see here's what really happened in the situation, here's how one person saw it, here's how the other person saw it, and you can be like, ah, the truth is in the middle.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_01: Both of these guys, different perception.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_01: Life is, and when you can look at it in someone else's shenanigans and someone else's mess, it makes it easier to undo yours.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I'm not saying we have to have reality TV shows, but I'm saying you could pop a glass of wine if you're feeling bad, watch a few of them, and see, oh, that's how human interaction is.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_02: I love that.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_02: I love reality TV, it's not my favorite, but when you put it in that perspective, yeah, I get it, right?
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_02: Because you can see, you can see how other people like their minds are working, and you're the third person, like you're looking in on that.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_02: When you're in the middle of it, it's not as easy.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_02: But when you're looking in on it, you're like, oh my gosh, I can't believe that they don't get it, right?
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's an anthropological anthropological study of the human brain.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my gosh, the human brain is absolutely amazing.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_02: So tell me, how do we shift from seeking validation to building true authority from within?
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_01: You have to know what you want to be known for, and you have to decide, okay, this is what I want to be known for.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_01: Here's all the steps that are gonna get there, and you'll very quickly learn that nothing, anything that doesn't take you from point A, where you are now, to where you want to be, what you want to be known for, anything that doesn't take you on that line are things that can fall away.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_01: And very quickly, those things that can fall away you're gonna see are things like social media and vanity metrics and extra things, those shiny squirrel projects that seem so great that externally look amazing might not be moving the needle forward.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_01: And so instead of seeking validation, that quick win, that that hit, that dopamine, the likes, the shares, the braggy braggy things, sitting quietly and deciding what you want to be known for, playing the long game, that is how you build authority.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_02: I love that.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_02: I love that.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_02: It's like play the game, but on your rules only.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I love it.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_02: I love it.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, so now we also live in a world of comparison culture, right?
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_02: And of course, we all know what that is, right?
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, I could never do that as good as her, and no, she's not as good as me.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_02: We all know that.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_02: How do you how can you or how do you think someone can anchor into their own voice and identity instead of mimicking what's already out there?
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_01: I think you have to know yourself and you have to know your values.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_01: I touched on a little bit earlier, at least once a year, maybe once a quarter, I try and spend an afternoon by myself.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_01: I don't have anything on my schedule.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_01: I have no phone, I have no social media, and I think about what do I want to be known for?
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_01: What do I really want to accomplish this year?
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_01: Like what's important to me?
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_01: And once I know what that is, I only worry about the goals that get me there.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_01: I don't worry about who else is there.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_01: I don't care what anyone else is doing.
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_01: It because it's it sounds so trite, but my parents used to say to me, Well, there's no one like you.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, there's no one like me.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_01: We can all do the same thing.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_01: We can have this, I can have the same business as 17 people on my block.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_01: But how I approach it, my personality, how my mind works, it's gonna be different than the person next to me.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that's a huge mindset shift people have to make.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_01: We can all be the best window cleaners in the world, but we're all gonna approach it differently.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_01: How we start, how we finish, how we treat our customers, the experience from our website and booking to the end goal.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_01: Everybody is different.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_01: You just have to decide what you want to be and what you want to be known for, and then let all the other noise fall away.
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_01: Just focus on that goal.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_02: You know that you make it sound so easy, right?
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_02: Like you've got this powerful voice, and you know, like you make it sound super easy.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_02: But the truth is, most of us, right, are so in our own head about I have to do what everybody else is doing.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I'm the same way.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_01: I'm in my own head all the time.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_01: I can be a complete basket case about stuff all day long.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_01: But now that I'm in my mid-40s, I have maybe 40, maybe 50 years left if I'm lucky, right?
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_01: There are things I want to achieve.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_01: I'm done playing around.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_01: These are the things that are important to me.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_01: My dogs, my husband, my family, my work.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_01: There's things I want to accomplish.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_01: Nothing is going to get in the way of those things I want to accomplish because I have a limited amount of time that I'm setting aside for work that doesn't impact family and playtime.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_01: And so when you put into perspective, like this is one I want to achieve work-wise, so I can have this playtime over here.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_01: It makes it easier to not focus on the other stuff, worrying about other people, what they're doing, scrolling social media and doing the comparison game, taking away time for my family, taking away time for my goals doesn't make me feel good.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_01: Why would I keep doing that?
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_01: So it is, is it simple?
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_01: There are days where I call up a girlfriend and I'm like, I can't do this.
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_01: Everyone else does it better.
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_01: And then she'll pep talk me and be like, no, look what you've already done.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_01: This is what you can do.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_01: You need three things in business: a very good therapist that is not emotionally invested in you, only in like helping you be your best self, not your business, not a friend, not family.
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_01: You need a friend who's gonna tell you like it is.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_01: If you are acting like a fool, they will call you out.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_01: You need that really, really, really good friend.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_01: And then you need a supportive partner or no partner at all.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_01: The biggest asset you can have in business is your significant other.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_01: They are either greeting you at the door with a glass of wine and saying, you had a long day, tell me all about it.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_01: How can I support you?
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_01: Like being your biggest cheerleader, or you don't need them around.
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_01: Because if you're trying to grow a business, it's already hard enough.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_01: You don't need to come home to passive aggressiveness, you don't need to worry about like outshining your spouse at work.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_01: It's better to be alone than to be with someone who doesn't appreciate you, who doesn't want to be around you, who doesn't support what you're doing.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_01: And I've been there, I've been in those relationships and it's hurt my business, it's hurt my soul, it's held me back.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_01: But if you have someone who supports you, who cheers you on, who wants to help you achieve your dreams, or stays out of your way so you can achieve your dreams, and then is like, okay, it's family time at five, now it's our time.
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_01: Like that's what you need supportive spouse or partner, or being okay being alone, because sometimes being alone is better than being with the wrong person, right?
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_01: So you need that.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_01: You got to figure out the partner asset part of things.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_01: You need a really good therapist because sometimes you just gotta get out of your own head and talk it out.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_01: But you also need a friend who's gonna call you on your BS because that is very important.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_01: You can't surround yourself with yes people.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I agree, I agree.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_02: And and I think having all three of those outside of the business, right, helps you stay focused in the business.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, right.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_02: Because you know that you can take it somewhere after.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I love that.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, okay.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_02: So now you've helped uh clients get featured in some major publications.
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but then you say your work isn't about press, it's about power.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_02: I would like you to expand on that.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_01: Sure.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_01: I think that getting the press hit, most people think like, oh, that's the thing.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_01: One press hit, gonna change my business overnight.
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_01: This article, gonna sell out of every single order I've ever had, retire off to the beach.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_01: Nice knowing you guys.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_01: And I think the truth of the matter is the press hit is just the beginning.
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_01: It is a marathon and not a sprint because you want to build authority.
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_01: You want one press hit to compound into another.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_01: You want to be able to take that press hit, spin it into 15 different content pieces.
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_01: Because one signal does not cause a customer to flood you with orders.
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_01: You know, think about it when you go to a restaurant, right?
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_01: Like, like if you hear, if you see one ad for a new restaurant, you don't immediately run to that restaurant.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_01: You don't buy them out of lasagna.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_01: You'll see that one ad for the restaurant and be like, hmm, noted.
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_01: And then you'll hear about it from a friend and you'll be like, huh, I just saw an ad for them.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_01: Then you'll see a review for it or something else.
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_01: There'll be a couple signals that are compounding over time, and you'll be like, I have to go to that restaurant.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_01: Sounds amazing.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_01: Life is like that.
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_01: Your business is like that.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_01: People have to see repeated signals.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_01: You in the press a couple of times, you talking about how good you are yourself, other people like media outlets, podcasters, other places where you're using borrowed lanes to promote yourself, that third-party seal of approval, customer reviews, for instance, that helps elevate you.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_01: And when you have a symphony of all those things coming together, that's gonna build your authority.
• 21:01
  SPEAKER_01: So I help clients get press, but I also show them how to spin that into visibility, longevity, authority, how it how one press hit can turn into two, to three, to five, to as many as they need until they are the go-to expert in their industry and it's not even close to their competitor.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_02: Wow.
• 21:20
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that sounds that sounds like fun and exhausting all at the same time, right?
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_02: Wow, good for you.
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_02: I think that's amazing.
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_02: So, what what are some subtle ways that women unintentionally dilute their message or their presence?
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_02: And how can they start showing up more fully for themselves?
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_01: I think we hide, I think we apologize.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_01: Even when you introduce yourself to people, I saw it at networking events all weekend long.
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_01: You'll be at a dinner or you'll be meeting someone, and someone be like, Oh, what do you do?
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_01: And the first words out of a woman's mouth always are, oh, I just, and then they say whatever.
• 21:59
  SPEAKER_01: No one just To anything.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_01: Like you're a doctor, you're a lawyer, you're organizing the world, you know, you're rescuing babies from burning buildings.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_01: Like, no one is a just.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_01: You do X, and it helps these people.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_01: That's the way to introduce yourself.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_01: Women need to be more assertive in how they talk about what they do, more confident about what they do.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_01: They need to show up how they want to be received, right?
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_01: I don't just do PR, I help people get the recognition they deserve.
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_01: And if people are like, huh, what's that?
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, public relations and media outreach.
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_01: And then people are like, oh, okay.
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_01: And they might get it or they might not get it, but then maybe they're just not my people.
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_01: I think another way we hold ourselves back is we're just not clear on our messaging.
• 22:43
  SPEAKER_01: If we can't say who we are, what we do, and who we serve and why it matters to those people right this second, in one succinct sentence as a business owner, no one can buy from us because we're not being clear on what our messaging is.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_01: And you, I mean, when have you ever purchased something when you're like, I don't know what this is, but I'll just buy it?
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_01: No, you need to be very clear because we all have a specific list of needs and we want our needs met.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_01: And so if someone's selling something in those areas of needs and they clearly communicate it to us, we're gonna buy nine times out of ten because it's clearly communicated.
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_01: So the messaging, messaging about what you do and who you are, how you show up, but also the messaging has to be clear about what you can offer people.
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_01: You need to speak to them about what they need.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_01: It's not about what you're doing, it's about them and serving them.
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that's so true.
• 23:35
  SPEAKER_02: And I wanted to comment about how you said that women's first words, like after you asked them what they do.
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, I just I remember going to a dinner party once, and I didn't know, like other than my husband, I knew nobody in the room.
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_02: And there was about there was about 20 people in the room.
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_02: And I sat, we had to sit, like we couldn't sit with our spouse, which was even more intimidating.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_02: Like mortifying, right?
• 23:57
  SPEAKER_02: Right?
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_02: I was like, I wanted to die.
• 23:59
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like, I'm going home, right?
• 24:01
  SPEAKER_02: So I sat beside this man who was running like a million-dollar business.
• 24:05
  SPEAKER_02: Like he was, you know, in my world, I was like, this is like a high, you know, he's high up there in the world.
• 24:11
  SPEAKER_02: And he says to me, Tina, what do you do?
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, I'm just a stay-at-home mom.
• 24:16
  SPEAKER_02: That was my that was my answer.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_02: And he looked at me and he just like it was like his mouth fell to the floor.
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_02: And he said, What do you mean you're just a stay-at-home mom?
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_02: You have the hardest job in the world.
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_02: He said, you know, like he said, my wife and I both work.
• 24:32
  SPEAKER_02: We come home after work and now we have to do what you're doing all day long.
• 24:37
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, Yeah, exactly.
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_02: And he goes, Yeah, after running a business, after looking after like all these other things, now we have to do what you're doing.
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_02: He's, you know, he says, I I'm challenging you to rephrase that, right?
• 24:53
  SPEAKER_02: But he didn't want an answer right away.
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_02: So I, you know, it went through my brain for the whole dinner.
• 24:58
  SPEAKER_02: And then before we got up for after dinner, he said, So what do you do now, Tina?
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_02: He said, and I just looked at him and I said, I am raising responsible, happy, joyful kids that were gonna take over our world one day.
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_02: And he was like, That's what you're doing.
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_02: I was like, oh my God.
• 25:15
  SPEAKER_02: And I felt so empowered because I thought he's right.
• 25:19
  SPEAKER_02: I'm giving all of my energy to my kids, right?
• 25:23
  SPEAKER_02: And not, you know, I mean, sure, now I'm running a business, but at the time I I wanted to focus on my kids so that they would be decent people in the real world, right?
• 25:33
  SPEAKER_02: Right, we don't I would have never thought that if he didn't say that to me.
• 25:38
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, true, right?
• 25:39
  SPEAKER_01: Like you really were the chief operations officer with multiple employees and human beings you had to keep in line, yeah, alive, right?
• 25:48
  SPEAKER_01: Like, what job's harder than that?
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_02: Well, and I never thought of it like that.
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_02: I thought this is the easiest job in the world, so I'll take it, right?
• 25:57
  SPEAKER_02: Again, lazy.
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_02: It was not always easy.
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_02: Trust me, that, you know, it's still not easy, and they're all adults now, right?
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_02: We all know that, right?
• 26:04
  SPEAKER_02: Raising kids is not easy, right?
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_02: But you know, to me, I thought if it's gonna be easier if I'm doing it only that rather than working and doing all the things, but apparently it doesn't work that way, right?
• 26:18
  SPEAKER_02: Raising a family is not easy, end of story, right?
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, anyway, we'll get back to you.
• 26:23
  SPEAKER_02: So, how how can someone refrain being different as an advantage rather than something to hide or fix?
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_02: And I love this question because I struggle with this, right?
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_02: Everybody always asks me, what are you different at?
• 26:36
  SPEAKER_02: What is what makes you unique?
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 26:39
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I think you have to know what makes you unique, right?
• 26:42
  SPEAKER_01: Before someone else can help you put it out there.
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_01: A huge thing that I do with my clients is it's one of the first things we talk about.
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, okay, what do you offer?
• 26:51
  SPEAKER_01: What do your competitors offer?
• 26:53
  SPEAKER_01: What's unique about you, or what is unique about your approach?
• 26:56
  SPEAKER_01: Tell me all the things.
• 26:57
  SPEAKER_01: Like I have them spill everything.
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_01: There's a whole sheet I have them fill out.
• 27:00
  SPEAKER_01: We do a messaging session about how they can differentiate themselves from other folks that are out there.
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_01: And nine times out of 10, it's truly just your approach and the way you look at it.
• 27:11
  SPEAKER_01: Like you and I could see the same dress in a store, right?
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_01: And I could be like, not for me.
• 27:18
  SPEAKER_01: And you could be like, that's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_01: Beauty really is in the eye of the beholder.
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_01: Everyone has a different perception, they have a different take on things.
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_01: Business is the same way, and how we run it's the same way.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_01: My approach to something is not going to be your approach to something.
• 27:34
  SPEAKER_01: And it like you were just talking about kids and raising kids, right?
• 27:38
  SPEAKER_01: Go back to high school when you were a kid.
• 27:40
  SPEAKER_01: Think about all the different gamutes of people.
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_01: You had the homecoming queen, and you had the quarterback, and you had the music people, and then you had the emo kids, and everyone, like everyone had their own personality, their own special flavor.
• 27:55
  SPEAKER_01: None of that changes when we all get to like corporate America or becoming entrepreneurs or running our own business or being moms or dads.
• 28:01
  SPEAKER_01: We all have that unique part of us that gives us a new approach to something.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_01: Just embrace that.
• 28:07
  SPEAKER_01: Don't try and be the same as another person or someone you see online who's successful.
• 28:11
  SPEAKER_01: What works for them is not going to work for you.
• 28:14
  SPEAKER_01: You know, you and all of your things.
• 28:16
  SPEAKER_01: Let those things shine out there.
• 28:18
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my gosh, I love that.
• 28:20
  SPEAKER_02: You know, yeah, I never really think about that.
• 28:22
  SPEAKER_02: Like, you know, like the kids in school that were more quirky or more sporty or more, you know, the intellect, the intellectual people.
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_02: Like I never really thought about, I mean, sure, when I see people that I haven't seen for, you know, 30, 40 years, I look at them and I go, I wonder if they're still the same as they were in high school.
• 28:39
  SPEAKER_02: But I never really think about how we take that into every, you know, everything that we do in our world.
• 28:46
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 28:47
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I mean, like we we treat being weird or unique or different like it's a bad thing growing up, right?
• 28:54
  SPEAKER_01: Like you pick on those people or they get bullied or they get picked on or whatever.
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_01: Being weird or unique is awesome.
• 28:58
  SPEAKER_01: We wouldn't have any new art, we wouldn't have any new music, we wouldn't have any new architecture or buildings or cars if people didn't think differently than the person in front of them.
• 29:08
  SPEAKER_01: So all the beautiful things we appreciate later on in life, the weird kid from high school created that.
• 29:13
  SPEAKER_01: We should have been nice to that kid from high school.
• 29:15
  SPEAKER_01: Or if we were the weird kid from high school, we should have given ourselves more grace.
• 29:19
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 29:19
  SPEAKER_02: I love that.
• 29:20
  SPEAKER_02: You know, it's funny.
• 29:21
  SPEAKER_02: I've never really thought of it like that, even though I get it.
• 29:25
  SPEAKER_02: Like, right, like I get that's how it works.
• 29:27
  SPEAKER_02: You have to be different, you have to think outside the box in order for you to stay outside the box.
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_02: But at the same time, my brain, you know, because I'm stuck in the box, right?
• 29:37
  SPEAKER_02: I don't, I just don't look at it that way.
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_02: So I I love that you pointed that out.
• 29:42
  SPEAKER_02: It's funny how you've you've done a whole perspective shift for me during this call because I think you know, which which is good, right?
• 29:50
  SPEAKER_02: Because sometimes we need that.
• 29:51
  SPEAKER_02: We need that little shift to look at life in a different way in order for us to move forward.
• 29:58
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 29:58
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, no, and I think like I think that's my special gift.
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_01: I think I'm good at finding people's stories, and I think I'm good at helping them see things in a different light.
• 30:07
  SPEAKER_01: I can't balance your books for you.
• 30:10
  SPEAKER_01: I would be horrible at doing your taxes, but it's good to know our limitations.
• 30:15
  SPEAKER_02: I love that.
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_02: That's really good.
• 30:17
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that is awesome.
• 30:18
  SPEAKER_02: So I have one more question for you.
• 30:20
  SPEAKER_02: For someone that's ready to stop being looked overlooked, right?
• 30:25
  SPEAKER_02: And start being taken seriously.
• 30:28
  SPEAKER_02: What is one aligned step they can take today to shift their visibility and their confidence?
• 30:34
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, figure out what you want to be known for.
• 30:38
  SPEAKER_01: Even if it seems like the most ridiculous thing you're embarrassed to say out loud, be honest with yourself.
• 30:42
  SPEAKER_01: Figure out the one thing you want to be known for, and then decide your one sentence.
• 30:47
  SPEAKER_01: Who you are, what you do, who you do it for, and why it matters to the people that you do it for.
• 30:53
  SPEAKER_01: With that one sentence, right?
• 30:55
  SPEAKER_01: If you can do those two things, monumental.
• 30:57
  SPEAKER_01: It takes a lot of people a lot of time to be truly honest about what they want to do.
• 31:01
  SPEAKER_01: If you can do those two things, the next step is put that everywhere.
• 31:05
  SPEAKER_01: I call it getting your house in order.
• 31:07
  SPEAKER_01: Have that sentence on your website, have it in your Instagram bios, have it on any third-party websites you're on, anywhere you're LinkedIn, anywhere people can Google you, the same messaging should carry over across the board.
• 31:19
  SPEAKER_01: Likewise with the same brand colors, the same brand imagery.
• 31:24
  SPEAKER_01: So when people Google you, they say, they see, oh, consistency, this person, they begin to recognize you, whether it's by what you're saying, your face, colors associated with your brand.
• 31:34
  SPEAKER_01: Because the biggest thing you can do in business is build trust.
• 31:37
  SPEAKER_01: And the quickest way to lose trust is if someone Googles you and they see persona A here, your persona B here, nothing aligns, you've lost trust, you won't rebuild it again.
• 31:49
  SPEAKER_01: So figure out what you want to be known for, create your one sentence that communicates that clearly with your target audience, put that everywhere and get your house in order.
• 31:57
  SPEAKER_01: If you can do those three things in the next quarter, you're so far ahead of so many people running a business.
• 32:05
  SPEAKER_01: And then if you're a truly ambitious soul, the next thing you can do, figure out where your target audience is and what they're reading, what they're watching, what they're listening to.
• 32:15
  SPEAKER_01: That's going to tell you where you need to be.
• 32:17
  SPEAKER_01: Is your audience only listening to podcasts?
• 32:19
  SPEAKER_01: Put all your energy in being a podcast guest.
• 32:22
  SPEAKER_01: You don't have to start your own podcast, borrow other people's podcasts where you just have to show up.
• 32:27
  SPEAKER_01: Are your people on social media truly on social media to buy and not to doom scroll?
• 32:32
  SPEAKER_01: Then put your efforts into social media.
• 32:34
  SPEAKER_01: Do they read the paper?
• 32:37
  SPEAKER_01: Get in your local paper as much as you can.
• 32:39
  SPEAKER_01: But you don't have to be everywhere.
• 32:41
  SPEAKER_01: So don't exhaust yourself trying to be there.
• 32:43
  SPEAKER_01: Those four steps are going to put you so far ahead of anyone else in business, it will blow your mind.
• 32:50
  SPEAKER_01: And it's not complicated.
• 32:51
  SPEAKER_01: It's like 15 minutes, a couple of days a week, nothing crazy.
• 32:56
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 32:57
  SPEAKER_02: That sounds, I mean, it sounds exhausting, right?
• 33:01
  SPEAKER_02: But I think once once you like sort of create a system of your own, right?
• 33:06
  SPEAKER_02: Because that's what it comes down to, like 15 minutes twice a week, that's not a big deal.
• 33:10
  SPEAKER_02: But it's making that 15 minutes happen, right?
• 33:13
  SPEAKER_02: And what you do to make that 15 minutes work.
• 33:16
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I love that.
• 33:17
  SPEAKER_02: I love that.
• 33:18
  SPEAKER_02: Well, thank you so much for today.
• 33:19
  SPEAKER_02: This has been so awesome.
• 33:21
  SPEAKER_02: Like I feel motivated and I feel really uplifted because I I mean, I see things differently, right?
• 33:28
  SPEAKER_02: The perspectives that you've shown to me are like, whoa, like I love it.
• 33:32
  SPEAKER_01: I really have loved this.
• 33:34
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I appreciate it.
• 33:35
  SPEAKER_01: Look, I have been a person who has struggled with confidence my entire life.
• 33:39
  SPEAKER_01: And now that I'm in my 40s, I'm not apologizing for who I am anymore.
• 33:42
  SPEAKER_01: And the confidence that comes with that, it's amazing.
• 33:45
  SPEAKER_01: And it is such a relief.
• 33:47
  SPEAKER_01: And it has freed up so much time for me not worrying about what other people think.
• 33:51
  SPEAKER_01: I want other women to feel that way.
• 33:52
  SPEAKER_01: So if I have helped even one person think about something differently, I'm happy.
• 33:57
  SPEAKER_01: I love it.
• 33:58
  SPEAKER_02: I absolutely love it.
• 33:59
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you so much.
• 34:00
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
• 34:02
  SPEAKER_02: This conversation was such a reminder that the power, that your power isn't in becoming more like everyone else.
• 34:08
  SPEAKER_02: It's in becoming more you.
• 34:10
  SPEAKER_02: Your voice, your perspective, your story, those aren't things to soften or reshape to fit in.
• 34:16
  SPEAKER_02: They're the very things that set you apart.
• 34:18
  SPEAKER_02: And as KJ shared, it's not just about doing great work, it's about allowing yourself to be seen, claimed, and recognized for it.
• 34:26
  SPEAKER_02: If this episode resonated with you, I'd love for you to share it, tag us, or send it to someone who needs that reminder that their difference is in their power.
• 34:35
  SPEAKER_02: And as always, keep showing up, keep growing, and keep blooming into the most confident version of you.
• 34:41
  SPEAKER_02: Until next time.