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The Art of Authentic Self-Confidence with Misty Kofler · Divas That Care Network

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: It's Divas that Care Radio Stories, strategies and ideas to inspire positive change.
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Welcome to Divas that Care, a network of women committed to making our world a better place for everyone.
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: This is a global movement for women, by women engaged in a collaborative effort to create a better world for future generations.
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  Speaker 1: To find out more about the movement, visit DivasThatCarecom after the show.
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: Right now, though, stay tuned for another jolt of inspiration.
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: Hi, this is Tina Spoletini, with Confidence in Bloom, where we are talking with women who live in their full confidence and authenticity.
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: Today, I'm speaking with Misty Kofler.
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: I hope I'm saying that, right, misty Misty is the owner of Enrich Yoga and authenticity.
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: Today, I'm speaking with Misty Kofler.
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: I hope I'm saying that, right, misty Misty is the owner of Enrich Yoga and Wellness.
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: Hi, misty, how are you?
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: I am well.
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: How are you?
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: I'm good, I'm good.
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: Thank you, thank you for having me.
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: Oh, thank you for joining me.
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: Tell us a little bit about yourself.
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: Well, I am a yoga teacher.
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: I am a soon-to-be yoga therapist.
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: I am a busy mom of three and I, yeah, I'm just an average woman living out her dreams and trying to become an entrepreneur and run a business and be in school and be a mom, all at the same time.
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: So, yeah, that's a little bit about me.
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: Awesome, you said you called yourself a yoga therapist.
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: Tell me what that means.
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: Well, yoga therapy is a further training after becoming a yoga teacher.
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: It's something that you can take and what it is is using the best parts of yoga, is using the best parts of yoga and trying to some of the best parts of physiotherapy, almost, and putting them together and using breath and stillness and meditation and movement to help people heal either from pain or discomfort or to help people find a greater range of motion in their movement.
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: Yoga therapy is really like a beautiful private yoga session where we explore you as an individual, right.
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: So that's a little bit about yoga therapy.
• 2:51
  Speaker 2: And so it's not therapy necessarily for, you know, like a broken bone.
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: You know, as you compared it to physiotherapy, you could use it just for personal growth as well.
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: Absolutely 100%.
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I have, you know, some clients who come to me with physical pain and some clients who come to me who are just needing more silence or stillness or breath in their life.
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: That's awesome, that's really cool.
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: Let's talk about confidence.
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: How do you define self-confidence and why do you think it's important?
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: Well, self-confidence to me is all about being authentically myself.
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: I kind of view self-confidence a little bit differently than some people, because I'm not always confident.
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: I you know, if I'm learning a new skill or doing something a little bit daring, I'm not always confident in myself.
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: So that's kind of the way I think about self-confidence, whereas authenticity I think about even in those moments where I'm not feeling as sure of myself.
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: I'm always 100% authentic.
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: Here we go, anyway, I'm always 100% authentically me.
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: And so, yeah, self-confidence is important.
• 4:38
  Speaker 2: You want to believe that what you're doing, that you're capable of what you're doing.
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: But sometimes, you know, sometimes you're a little bit unsure, and that's okay.
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: But even in those moments, I'm always 100% myself yeah, that's perfect.
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: That's how we should all be, I see, I think.
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: Anyway, what are some tips you could give to some of our listeners about being more confident?
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: I think grace is a big thing, you know.
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: Giving yourself some grace to know that you're not always going to be perfect in the moment that you want to be.
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: Know that if you're doing something for the first time and it doesn't work out the way you thought it would, that it's not about becoming a master at something the first time.
• 5:37
  Speaker 2: It's about learning, you know, and giving yourself a little bit of grace.
• 5:41
  Speaker 2: In that you might make mistakes, and that's okay.
• 5:45
  Speaker 2: But if you can remain true to who you are in yourself while you're trying to do these things, you should be okay.
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: You shouldn't blow past your values, you shouldn't blow past your boundaries.
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: If you're remaining authentic to yourself.
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I love that and I'm learning that if you write down your core beliefs and you compare the way you live your life to your core beliefs, then you know you're living in your authentic beliefs, like your authenticity.
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's beautiful, the way you put that.
• 6:31
  Speaker 2: In your opinion, what is the difference between self-esteem and self-confidence?
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: Well, I see self-confidence more as a situational thing and self-esteem more as an internal thing, for me personally, anyway.
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: So my self-esteem is how I feel about myself, how I love myself, how I dislike myself, the internal dialogue, whereas self-confidence is, you know, to me more situational.
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: Am I feeling confident in this?
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: moment.
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: So that's a little bit how I see it, and I'm not always great at either.
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: Truthfully, you know, my self-esteem is not always perfect and my self-confidence is not always perfect, but I try to going back to being authentic.
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: I try to be authentic in who I am and that helps.
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: That helps.
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: It helps me feel a little bit better about the situation.
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: Right, I get that 100%.
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: But at the same time, I feel like we shouldn't be judging ourselves, you know, like good or bad, right?
• 7:41
  Speaker 2: I mean, self-esteem is like you said, it's how you view yourself.
• 7:45
  Speaker 2: And if you have a low self-esteem, that's not necessarily a bad thing, because if you know it, you know you have to work on it.
• 7:53
  Speaker 2: Right, it's not necessarily bad right, yeah, yeah.
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, 100%, yeah.
• 7:59
  Speaker 2: I love how you put that yeah, how do you think you could be more self-confident?
• 8:05
  Speaker 2: Can you give us like two or three you know little tips on how?
• 8:10
  Speaker 2: Like I mean, obviously every situation is different.
• 8:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, for me, how I grow my self-confidence is by, you know, try, try, try again.
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: That's how I grow my self-confidence, you know, not giving up on myself, really giving myself time to look at myself, at the world or the situation or whatever it is, through child's eyes.
• 8:38
  Speaker 2: Know that there's, there's some growth that needs to happen there, that I'm not going to be perfect at something the first time I do it.
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: You know, when I first started teaching yoga, I I was so scared, oh, I was so scared, and all it I mean not all it took.
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: It was a lot of hard work, but what it took was for me to just continuously show up for myself and show up for my students and just fumble my way through and eventually I became what I believe is a very good yoga teacher.
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: It just took me time.
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: It took me practice and dedication and again, it took me some having grief with myself to realize that I am going to make mistakes and that that is perfectly okay.
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, totally, I think you're an awesome yoga teacher.
• 9:42
  Speaker 2: I think I've taken two or three of your classes and I just love how you're always so calm and like forgiving, knowing that we are not perfect right.
• 9:46
  Speaker 2: It's like we feel more confident by your instruction, because you make it very clear our bodies are not made to do everything at every given moment Exactly.
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: Exactly.
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: And having confidence in knowing that that's okay and that if you keep trying you can figure it out.
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: Like I quite often in my yoga classes will say like how do you know that you can do a pose if you never try it?
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: And you may try and you may feel like you failed, but, quite frankly, one day, if you keep trying, the next thing you know you're going to be able to do it.
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: So you know, just keep trying for that self-confidence, exactly, and one thing I've learned is you can't really do a yoga pose wrong.
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: It might not look like the lady beside you, but you're still doing it right.
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: No, exactly, Exactly.
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: That's the beautiful thing about yoga is it teaches us more about ourselves than almost any other activity, because you're so in tune to your own body.
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, it took me a few years to figure that part out.
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: You know, I thought yoga was just about stretching, you know, and moving in a different way, and I realized, you know, probably after three years, there's more to it than just stretching.
• 11:17
  Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, that's just the tip of the iceberg.
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah, oh, yeah, for sure, for sure.
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: Why do you think self-confidence is important in our everyday life?
• 11:30
  Speaker 2: Because if you don't believe in yourself, you know who's going to believe in you.
• 11:34
  Speaker 2: I mean, I would love to say that everybody has somebody that believes in them, but maybe that's not true.
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: You have to show up for yourselves.
• 11:39
  Speaker 2: You know, have your own back, be your own cheerleader.
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: Self-confidence is so important for peace of mind.
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: You know to know that.
• 11:57
  Speaker 2: Like yes, if you don't get it the first time, that's okay that you have the confidence to keep trying.
• 12:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah, self-confidence is really important.
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I love that.
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: And where do you think our self-confidence comes from?
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: Our self-confidence comes from From being authentic in who you are, for sure.
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: Well, for me anyway I can't say for everybody, but for me personally being authentic in who I am, how I present myself to the world.
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: You know how I act with integrity.
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: That's where my confidence comes from.
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: When I waver in my integrity, then I don't feel as confident.
• 12:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because you're questioning every move you're making.
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: I love that Exactly.
• 12:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly, do you think you could fake self-confidence Me personally?
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: No, you could fake self-confidence um me personally?
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: No, I can try, I suppose, but I feel like people can see through it.
• 13:07
  Speaker 2: Quite frankly.
• 13:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like, um, yeah, I don't feel like I can fake self-confidence, but there's also something to be said about that.
• 13:13
  Speaker 2: Fake it till you make it, which I believe some people, it's true and in some ways.
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: I guess I did do that when I was learning to teach yoga is.
• 13:22
  Speaker 2: I just faked being confident until I actually was.
• 13:26
  Speaker 2: So can you?
• 13:29
  Speaker 2: Yes, is it easy?
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: Not necessarily.
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: Would I prefer to show up authentically and say I'm not confident, that I'm going to keep trying.
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: That's how I would prefer to show up, yeah.
• 13:40
  Speaker 2: I agree, I'm exactly the same and, like you said earlier, I might be confident in this moment or in this situation, but my overall self-confidence might be low.
• 13:56
  Speaker 2: Right, I know myself I can put on the right outfit, walk into a room and I can rock it right.
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: But then there's some days where I'm like I'm not feeling it, you know the outfit isn't doing it for me.
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: So yeah, I get what you're saying 100% yeah.
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: Do you think self-confidence can lead to success?
• 14:16
  Speaker 2: Oh, absolutely, yeah, I do believe that.
• 14:22
  Speaker 2: You know, when you're self-confident, when you are authentic in who you are, you attract people who appreciate that, who enjoy that, who want a piece of that, who want to surround themselves with that, and doing that will bring, or will bring, success.
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: You know, in my line of work, if I am self-confident, people will have trust in me to be able to help them in yoga and yoga therapy, and that would bring me success for sure.
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I agree.
• 15:08
  Speaker 2: I agree 100% there.
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: Why do you think some women have a low self-confidence?
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: Oh, that's a big question.
• 15:17
  Speaker 2: I think partly not knowing who they are.
• 15:26
  Speaker 2: You know, I can just speak from experience.
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: When I did not know who I was, when I wasn't living authentically, um, I had, I had very little self-confidence because I wasn't sure about what the world was calling me to do, who I was, how I was being called to show up, and so things that I tried didn't necessarily feel like they fit for me, you know.
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: So it just took a long time of trying and finding something that finally worked for me, that felt like coming home.
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that sounds so beautiful In your line of work.
• 16:09
  Speaker 2: So you're a yoga instructor, a yoga therapist, a Reiki practitioner, meditation instructor and guide.
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: What do you do to serve others, to bring them to the next level?
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: Well, I, there's a lot of things that I believe in.
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: One of them is that yoga and holistic wellness should be something that is accessible to everybody.
• 16:38
  Speaker 2: So I make sure that my classes are accessible and that I offer a wide range of classes.
• 16:47
  Speaker 2: I also make sure that my pricing is affordable and I really listen to what people have to say.
• 16:59
  Speaker 2: I maybe ask more questions than the average yoga therapist does, but it's just so important for me to know how you're feeling, to really show up and listen and to be there for you so that you can feel seen and you can feel heard.
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: It's so important.
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: It's so important.
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 17:23
  Speaker 2: Physio hasn't worked.
• 17:28
  Speaker 2: Chiro hasn't worked.
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: They're doctors.
• 17:30
  Speaker 2: They don't feel like people listen to them.
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: I want them to feel exactly the opposite in yoga therapy.
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: I want them to know that I am listening and that I am hearing them and I am here to help them improve whatever it is they're coming for, even if that's just rest.
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: Oh, I love that.
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: I feel like I don't know.
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: I feel like yoga is like.
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: It relaxes me.
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: You know, it makes me forget everything.
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: You know, even though, sometimes when I'm in like the Shavasana pose, my brain is like starting to go right.
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: It's like okay, so when this is done, you need to do this, you need to do that.
• 18:16
  Speaker 2: And then I'm like wait just bring it back and, when you know, the bowl starts to ring or whatever.
• 18:23
  Speaker 2: Each instructor does something different at the end.
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: I'm like you've got this time, enjoy it.
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: Just do nothing, think nothing, right.
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: Is that what we're supposed to be doing?
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: I don't think there is a right way or a wrong way?
• 18:41
  Speaker 2: Okay that was the answer I was looking for.
• 18:42
  Speaker 2: I think that there are days for us that it's easier to be a little bit more quiet in our head and days where it's not, and that's just the nature of our brains, right?
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: I have a dear friend that calls it monkey mind.
• 19:01
  Speaker 2: Some days the monkey is asleep and some days the monkey is fully playing, and it just kind of depends on the day.
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: The trick is to not beat yourself up on the days the monkey is loud and playing.
• 19:15
  Speaker 2: And you know, don't beat yourself up.
• 19:17
  Speaker 2: For those days those are okay, and when you're in that moment, that's exactly where you're supposed to be and that's okay.
• 19:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I guess it's all about forgiveness, right, and grace.
• 19:29
  Speaker 2: Uh-huh, yeah, 100%.
• 19:32
  Speaker 2: It goes back to giving yourself in grace, accepting yourself as you are in the moment.
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: That's so awesome.
• 19:40
  Speaker 2: I just love that.
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: Okay, so when you're not teaching yoga or you know doing yoga therapy, you know doing your profession what do you do for fun?
• 19:53
  Speaker 2: Oh, I love hiking and canoeing.
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: We try to get out to the mountains as much as we can, try to get out to the national parks as much as we can.
• 20:06
  Speaker 2: I love to garden, for sure, and I love to read.
• 20:12
  Speaker 2: If it's cold, you can find me reading Beside the Fire and if it's warm, you can find
• 20:18
  Speaker 2: me reading on my porch swing.
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: So, yeah, I love to read.
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: That's great.
• 20:24
  Speaker 2: Do you read like all kinds of books or do you have like a favorite?
• 20:27
  Speaker 2: I used to be a well-rounded reader.
• 20:32
  Speaker 2: Right now, because of school, I'm reading mostly um books related to yoga in some way, whether it's anatomy or it's um biomechanics or yoga philosophy.
• 20:45
  Speaker 2: Right now that's what I'm reading, but I sure do love a good fiction book.
• 20:50
  Speaker 2: I love self-help books.
• 20:55
  Speaker 2: I love young readers, like the young adult books.
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: They're always so enjoyable.
• 21:02
  Speaker 2: So I love poetry, so I do read everything.
• 21:05
  Speaker 2: But right now it seems to be a little bit hijacked with learning, higher learning, I guess.
• 21:13
  Speaker 2: Right, because you don't have too much time with three kids at home.
• 21:16
  Speaker 2: No, no, and yoga is like a beautiful like, almost like an onion.
• 21:24
  Speaker 2: There's just layers and layers and layers and you can just keep going down, and every time I find something interesting then it brings up something else that interests me, and then it makes me want to read something about that and it's a bit of a rabbit hole.
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: Wow, that's awesome, that is so neat.
• 21:52
  Speaker 2: Think it's like I said.
• 21:52
  Speaker 2: I went into yoga thinking it was simple, right, but as the years go on, I'm finding it more and more.
• 21:55
  Speaker 2: That's like you said there's always something more to learn about it.
• 21:57
  Speaker 2: Peel away the idea.
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, can you tell our listeners?
• 22:03
  Speaker 2: Oh, I'm sorry, did I cut you off?
• 22:04
  Speaker 2: No, that's okay, go ahead.
• 22:06
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I'm to say, can you tell our listeners where we can find you on social media?
• 22:12
  Speaker 2: So I am on Facebook at Enrich Yoga and Wellness, and I am on Instagram at Enrich Y&W and it's an ampersand there.
• 22:24
  Speaker 2: So Enrich Y&W, I'm on Instagram Facebook and Instagram and I have a website at Enrichyogaandwellnesscom.
• 22:34
  Speaker 2: Awesome, awesome.
• 22:40
  Speaker 2: I enjoyed this talk so much and I feel like I'm going to be taking more of your classes, so I know that we will be in touch some more.
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: And I'm also interested in your yoga therapy, so we will be definitely chatting some more.
• 22:50
  Speaker 2: And I'm also interested in your yoga therapy, so we will be definitely chatting some more about that.
• 22:55
  Speaker 2: Amazing, yeah, I really enjoyed our chat this morning and I hope that you know, in a year or so, we can chat again and see where you know enriching yoga and wellness has taken you, because it sounds like you're going to go super far.
• 23:15
  Speaker 2: Oh well, I would love that.
• 23:17
  Speaker 2: I'd love to catch up.
• 23:18
  Speaker 2: That would be great.
• 23:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely.
• 23:21
  Speaker 2: Thank you so much for joining me today.
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: Thanks for listening.
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: This show was brought to you by Divas that Care.
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: Connect with us on Facebook, on Instagram and, of course, divasthatcarecom, where you can subscribe to our newsletter so you don't miss a thing.