Latest / The Hauraki Big Show / OUTRO: Hoyte Eye For The Straight Guy

Transcript

OUTRO: Hoyte Eye For The Straight Guy · The Hauraki Big Show

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: For all you mad bastards loving the Big Show podcast
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Get up even closer on Instagram, YouTube and picture for
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: raw targets for to Siven every.
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: Weekday on radio, Jason, you got some messaging you're doing?
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: Are you house again?
• 0:24
  Speaker 3: Are you no? No?
• 0:25
  Speaker 4: Just stuff, I just stuff I had to sort out.
• 0:29
  Speaker 4: I've had this what would you call it? Interaction invoicing
• 0:35
  Speaker 4: has been years magie invoicing shit. You know, when you're
• 0:40
  Speaker 4: seing an invoice and then they come back.
• 0:42
  Speaker 3: And go no, and you go why not?
• 0:46
  Speaker 4: And then they go, ah, well you need to provide
• 0:48
  Speaker 4: a po number And I'm like, what the fuck's there?
• 0:53
  Speaker 3: Purchase order number? Where do I get that from?
• 0:56
  Speaker 5: So this obviously isn't radio we're talking about here. This
• 0:58
  Speaker 5: is something else. This is something now, something you've done
• 1:01
  Speaker 5: heaps of.
• 1:02
  Speaker 3: It's something I've done many times before.
• 1:04
  Speaker 5: Now they're asking for a percha and now.
• 1:05
  Speaker 4: They're asking for a purchase order number, and it's got
• 1:08
  Speaker 4: to be this and it's got to be set out
• 1:09
  Speaker 4: this way, and it's got to be on this sort
• 1:10
  Speaker 4: of file.
• 1:11
  Speaker 3: And I'm like, ah, I don't worry about it, keep it. Yeah,
• 1:16
  Speaker 3: that's kind of where I got to. I was like
• 1:17
  Speaker 3: Oh look, don't fucking worry.
• 1:19
  Speaker 5: Because how do you fill out it when you write
• 1:21
  Speaker 5: an invoice, Because you've got that it's like a refall
• 1:23
  Speaker 5: sheet of paper, right. Then you flip it over and
• 1:25
  Speaker 5: then you write out the invoice.
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: Yes, and.
• 1:29
  Speaker 5: You stamp it with your business name, which is Hoidy
• 1:32
  Speaker 5: J Limited or something, and then you walk it into
• 1:35
  Speaker 5: the office and hand it to them and then they say.
• 1:37
  Speaker 3: No, I know, I usually do it via post.
• 1:39
  Speaker 5: You post it?
• 1:40
  Speaker 3: Yeah, snail mail? No, what are you? This is how
• 1:46
  Speaker 3: it works in my household.
• 1:48
  Speaker 5: Is that it does mog.
• 1:50
  Speaker 3: My wife does my invoices.
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: Oh, you're good.
• 1:53
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and then she sends them off. I know I
• 1:55
  Speaker 3: send them off. She makes them for me.
• 1:58
  Speaker 5: She use like an accounting soft or just like a
• 2:01
  Speaker 5: word doc or a spreadsheet.
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: What look at his face?
• 2:07
  Speaker 5: Does she when when she opens the laptop?
• 2:10
  Speaker 3: Yes, logs in it opens the laptop.
• 2:17
  Speaker 5: Is she using like Microsoft word or something? Yeah, you
• 2:22
  Speaker 5: have no idea?
• 2:23
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it's all very straightforward and basic.
• 2:26
  Speaker 3: But yeah, no, it was just po.
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: You don't even know what's going on.
• 2:31
  Speaker 4: And she's got like she's got a master copy and
• 2:34
  Speaker 4: then she changes it per.
• 2:35
  Speaker 3: Month for example.
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: Yes, I'll tell you whatever that is.
• 2:37
  Speaker 3: I don't know.
• 2:38
  Speaker 5: One of the best things that I ever did were
• 2:40
  Speaker 5: and it took me a long time, and then it
• 2:41
  Speaker 5: took me once I did it, it took me a year
• 2:43
  Speaker 5: after that to actually be like, oh, no, this is great.
• 2:45
  Speaker 5: Is get a proper accountant, set me up on the
• 2:48
  Speaker 5: accounting software and stuff. And I did all that stuff myself,
• 2:51
  Speaker 5: and it's all automated, and it like it works like
• 2:54
  Speaker 5: an absolute charm and I get more money back than
• 2:56
  Speaker 5: what I'm paying in tax and sorry then what I'm
• 2:59
  Speaker 5: paying the it makes it very worth it.
• 3:01
  Speaker 4: Yes, that's one of the best decisions I made, was
• 3:04
  Speaker 4: getting an account And then I just go there you
• 3:06
  Speaker 4: go Fielma, see you later, and he goes, good on, good.
• 3:08
  Speaker 3: On your Jason.
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: But you're not doing it what he just said.
• 3:11
  Speaker 3: No, I'm not doing what I just give it to
• 3:13
  Speaker 3: my account I don't do.
• 3:13
  Speaker 5: Any accountant the invoicing system as well.
• 3:16
  Speaker 2: Funnily enough, as he's doing there is he's talking about
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: how easy his life has become as a result of
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: adopting the software. Merely slaying that out there is an
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: example that maybe you would think to yourself, jeerus, maybe
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: I could do that, but instead it's gone straight over
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: your head and you started talking about something again.
• 3:33
  Speaker 4: I tried to do that back in the day and
• 3:37
  Speaker 4: it was a fucking disaster. You've got an accountant, right, yes, yes,
• 3:41
  Speaker 4: so you get it to the accountant.
• 3:43
  Speaker 5: Yes, but I operate through in mind. I don't want
• 3:45
  Speaker 5: to plug it because you know it's a massive company.
• 3:47
  Speaker 5: But zero, right, and then my accountant has access to
• 3:50
  Speaker 5: zero and then she gets in touch on the once
• 3:52
  Speaker 5: every two months in GST and he goes, hey, blah
• 3:54
  Speaker 5: blah blah blah blah blah blah. Here, how much you
• 3:56
  Speaker 5: can pay here? How much you can take out of
• 3:57
  Speaker 5: your account and keep? Yes, it's so good, and it's
• 4:01
  Speaker 5: always just so worth it. It's so because what happens, brother, Yeah,
• 4:06
  Speaker 5: what happens here?
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: Jays if tell me about it?
• 4:09
  Speaker 5: Heaven forbid, your lovely wife passes away?
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: Yes, again, this has been We've got a lot of
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: hypotheticals here.
• 4:16
  Speaker 3: We've touched on a lot of that. Yeah, quite a lot.
• 4:19
  Speaker 5: Actually, So then who sends your invoices? Or do you
• 4:21
  Speaker 5: just not get paid anymore?
• 4:22
  Speaker 3: I can do it, It's very easy, and.
• 4:25
  Speaker 5: I don't think you can do it.
• 4:26
  Speaker 4: I tell you what actually happened the other day is
• 4:29
  Speaker 4: my wife was cleaning out a cupboard and you know
• 4:31
  Speaker 4: how you keep all your invoices and stuff and blah
• 4:33
  Speaker 4: blah blah for seven years going back seven years digitally.
• 4:37
  Speaker 4: Well yeah, but this is like I'm talking early two thousands.
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: So you keep it for twenty years.
• 4:42
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 4:44
  Speaker 4: They were literally in this back and in the back
• 4:47
  Speaker 4: of my daughters and all the time throw it.
• 4:52
  Speaker 3: And she was like, what am I supposed to do
• 4:54
  Speaker 3: with that? And I just beffitt, Yeah, just beffet.
• 4:56
  Speaker 5: So it's like invoices for what is the Son of Hercule?
• 5:00
  Speaker 5: Is the TV show? And stuff like that? What is
• 5:03
  Speaker 5: it called? You?
• 5:08
  Speaker 3: But yeah, my my accounting life is a lot simpler now.
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: It's good.
• 5:12
  Speaker 3: It has been for a long time.
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: Actually, that's good that you got a new shirt on today.
• 5:17
  Speaker 5: Man, No, that's the Emerald one, isn't it.
• 5:20
  Speaker 3: I recognize that.
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: Yes, is that the Emerald one. I remember the dots
• 5:24
  Speaker 2: being on.
• 5:25
  Speaker 5: It, see because what it's been washed now because last
• 5:27
  Speaker 5: time was brand new?
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah right, and the dots on it. You won't
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: know because your eyes are out, but Teezy might be
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: able to say it.
• 5:34
  Speaker 5: Just they're just blue. Dots, but they blue, yes now
• 5:39
  Speaker 5: like light blood. But because when it was brand new,
• 5:42
  Speaker 5: it was so beautiful and immaculate and emerald. The blue
• 5:45
  Speaker 5: dots look like sparkles from an emerald, like jewel far away.
• 5:52
  Speaker 5: He was worried his color blind. There colors which colors.
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: Week days from.
• 6:01
  Speaker 5: Four on Radio Hurdarky, remember they Big Show podcast.
• 6:07
  Speaker 4: Can I make the point of it was never brand
• 6:11
  Speaker 4: new for me? It was always secondhand of some tramp. Yeah,
• 6:15
  Speaker 4: I have some tramp that was just chucked it in
• 6:17
  Speaker 4: the old second hand store there.
• 6:20
  Speaker 3: But yeah, no, my emerald.
• 6:21
  Speaker 2: Shit.
• 6:22
  Speaker 3: I know you guys are fond of it.
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: Oh well, to me, it's a new shirt again. But
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: this just goes to show how good my memory is,
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: because to me, that's a new ship. Yes from last week.
• 6:30
  Speaker 5: Maggie. I think you need to start wearing out their clothing.
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: I think that's a great idea because for.
• 6:36
  Speaker 5: The last five years, black tea, white tea jeans, right,
• 6:39
  Speaker 5: which is a timeless style, but it's always Keyesy's got
• 6:43
  Speaker 5: his prison jacket on, Hoodie Jay's got his duck shirt on,
• 6:47
  Speaker 5: and then Logi's just wearing the same thing. I think
• 6:49
  Speaker 5: you needed to like start wearing extra It's.
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: Kind of the beauty of it, Keezy is it doesn't
• 6:53
  Speaker 2: matter that what's happening with fashion. You can't go wrong
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: with a black T shirt and a white T shirt.
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: Straight from that, I ended up wearing a game of
• 6:58
  Speaker 2: Throne shit. That was funny, and I thought to myself,
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: this little teacher for going away from the black shirt
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: and the white ship. But you're absolutely right, and I did.
• 7:10
  Speaker 2: I should have just kept on wearing it. But I
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: didn't actually realize it was a game of Throne ship.
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: I just thought cool wolf.
• 7:15
  Speaker 3: And it was cool.
• 7:16
  Speaker 5: But it did have written very small.
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: Winter is coming, change that to Mogie is coming well
• 7:23
  Speaker 2: interestingly on that key, you are going to start seeing
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: some changes, not drastic changes. Sickly, I won't start wearing
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: sports shirts. What did I see recently about that? I'm
• 7:34
  Speaker 2: just making a note of that. But I am, I am.
• 7:38
  Speaker 2: I have got a whole new wardrobe. Yes, I already have.
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: I have. You've seen the pants key. There's more, There's
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: more to come.
• 7:45
  Speaker 5: Wow.
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: But I'm waiting for some shoes to come to arrive.
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: I need what kind of shoes? Are they just trainers,
• 7:53
  Speaker 2: but just new trainers because all I've got because I
• 7:55
  Speaker 2: reached the point Jason, you obviously haven't gone to that
• 7:58
  Speaker 2: point yet where I was like, I had to go
• 8:01
  Speaker 2: to the tennis. Do I tell you about this?
• 8:03
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: And You're like, fuck, I've got nothing. I've literally got
• 8:06
  Speaker 2: nothing to wear. I'm almost fifty years old, I've got
• 8:09
  Speaker 2: nothing to wear. I ended up wearing clothes like I
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: was going to some kind of a corporate event. I
• 8:14
  Speaker 2: had quite cool pready, no, no, I had a summary,
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: and so I had suit pants some kind of lame
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: what's a shit that people wear from places like Style? Yeah,
• 8:28
  Speaker 2: working style there and fucking black boots. Now I was
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: I was lucky that it clouded over. And then the
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: joke was on everybody else that looks cool because now
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: I was warm and they were cold losers. But but
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: I had nothing to wear, and I was just like,
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: that's it. I've had enough. It's unacceptable for me to
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: be this age and not to have any clothes.
• 8:48
  Speaker 5: Can you see the value? And I only had this
• 8:51
  Speaker 5: experience once when I was working on a Rugby league
• 8:53
  Speaker 5: show named The Ditch, which I was.
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: Just going to stop you there, I'm just going to
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: write down a word, okay, and then and then you're
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: going to go on your story. Okay, okay, all right,
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: so wait wait, I gotta write it bigger because Jason's
• 9:05
  Speaker 2: going to need to see this, Okay.
• 9:07
  Speaker 5: I for a when this show was first starting and
• 9:10
  Speaker 5: went for one season while I was hosting, and I
• 9:13
  Speaker 5: got to go to the mall with a stylist and
• 9:16
  Speaker 5: I was like, holy fas I was stylist, that's his stylist.
• 9:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I can't read that.
• 9:22
  Speaker 3: I can read that.
• 9:24
  Speaker 5: Your stylist. And her name is Kobe, and she was great.
• 9:26
  Speaker 5: I think handle is at Kobe Brotna.
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: He's dead.
• 9:33
  Speaker 5: Kobe styled me was his name, lovely Lady, And she
• 9:35
  Speaker 5: literally took me to the mall. I think we had
• 9:37
  Speaker 5: fifteen hundred bucks to spend and she's like, right, here
• 9:39
  Speaker 5: are the colors.
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: That look good on you.
• 9:40
  Speaker 5: Blur blah blah blah blur. She's like, these are the
• 9:43
  Speaker 5: these shirts here are coming in and so as on TV,
• 9:46
  Speaker 5: you want to look like you're slightly ahead of the apparently,
• 9:49
  Speaker 5: but all the ship, I had no idea that was
• 9:51
  Speaker 5: when your corduroys and stuff were coming back in were
• 9:53
  Speaker 5: all his jackets and stuff. And then she would just
• 9:55
  Speaker 5: dress me every week for this TV show, right, and
• 9:58
  Speaker 5: it was just like it was actually really how helpful.
• 10:00
  Speaker 5: At first I was I don't want to walk around
• 10:02
  Speaker 5: the stylist, No, that's right, But then it was actually
• 10:04
  Speaker 5: really awesome.
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: See, I can tell you I got a stylist. Really,
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: I got a stylist.
• 10:08
  Speaker 5: Really.
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: I was talking to one of my best mates and
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: I was like, as a if I don't, I would.
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: I don't even know where to go, yes, yes, I
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: don't even know where to go. So I was like,
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: I don't want to go to and suit obvious brands here,
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: I don't want to beg anyone. But yeah, I just
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: got I've got If I was in Wellington, i'd know
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: where to go. And I've got no idea at all,
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: and I've got to transition away from wearing the same
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: old ship. So anyway, I got this woman Lulu with
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: her name a different person might even be Lulu. Stylists
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: her handle Jakes. And we went around and we did
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: a day shopping last week or half a day, a
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: few hours heavy days great. Well I had no idea
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: and she was giving me stuff and put it on.
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: She was like that looks great, and I was like, nah,
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: this is no good. You go, you're going to try
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: new things, and it's okay, you just the same, absolutely,
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: and then I'll wear them in here. You got will
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: drag me, which.
• 11:01
  Speaker 5: Is great because we get dragged every day.
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: That's right, exactly, And I'll just keep but so much better.
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: And I just threw out heaps of ship. I cannot
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: the same old ship because I had old trainers. I
• 11:11
  Speaker 2: had stuff that I'd argue with my wife about these trainers,
• 11:15
  Speaker 2: these pants, all this stuff. She agreed with my wife
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: on every single one. I didn't give her heads up
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: about any of it. Yeah, I just said, what about
• 11:22
  Speaker 2: these is you no? No? Yeah? Great?
• 11:25
  Speaker 5: So yeah, and that's one least thing you have to
• 11:26
  Speaker 5: worry about.
• 11:27
  Speaker 2: So key. So now I know what shops to go through.
• 11:29
  Speaker 5: Yeah exactly, And that's what I did too. After that,
• 11:31
  Speaker 5: I was like, oh, that's rold shop from now.
• 11:33
  Speaker 4: So so you had a stylist and stuff. We did
• 11:36
  Speaker 4: the prison jacket and the pink jacket, and said, well,
• 11:38
  Speaker 4: did you just go bugger that. I'm just going to
• 11:40
  Speaker 4: go outside the stylist for a while and do my
• 11:42
  Speaker 4: own thing.
• 11:43
  Speaker 5: Pink jacket stylist was it?
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: Yes? Red jackets?
• 11:47
  Speaker 5: So all right, jacket.
• 11:50
  Speaker 2: My that was my job.
• 11:52
  Speaker 3: That was later that one cornroy manshit Do.
• 11:54
  Speaker 5: You want to know about? The cordroy Man Ship was
• 11:56
  Speaker 5: a stylist thing as well. But the prison jacket. I
• 12:00
  Speaker 5: actually saw a really old sixties photo of like some
• 12:03
  Speaker 5: old movie star wearing an old denim striped jacket. I
• 12:06
  Speaker 5: was like, fuck, that's sick, right, and then I just
• 12:08
  Speaker 5: found one online and bought it and it was the
• 12:10
  Speaker 5: biggest recruit of my life.
• 12:11
  Speaker 3: Well, that's great stuff, Fellers.
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: There you go, Jason, you should consider it.
• 12:15
  Speaker 5: Don't we get Jason styles?
• 12:16
  Speaker 4: I finally and no, I would not get a stylist,
• 12:19
  Speaker 4: but I've been thinking about a change of style.
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: This is why you get the stylists because you don't know. Idea,
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: you can't be trusted.
• 12:25
  Speaker 3: I will look ace. How about trust me, I'll look
• 12:30
  Speaker 3: real good.
• 12:31
  Speaker 5: I reckon I can style you.
• 12:32
  Speaker 3: Jacket T shirt playing you can't.
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: Go right obviously, Honestly, that's all you need. Yes, the
• 12:38
  Speaker 2: way I need to move over to collars. You need
• 12:40
  Speaker 2: to move over to T shirts because it takes two
• 12:42
  Speaker 2: years off you.
• 12:42
  Speaker 4: Yes, and also I don't want to be wacky radio
• 12:46
  Speaker 4: shit guy.
• 12:47
  Speaker 2: I feel like, yeah, I don't know I blame my wife.
• 12:51
  Speaker 2: Wacky shirts at all, Wow and ship there's nothing.
• 12:56
  Speaker 4: Wrong with them, and it's interesting. There's another new season
• 13:00
  Speaker 4: shirts mate, queer Eye with a strange what is it
• 13:03
  Speaker 4: called strange man?
• 13:05
  Speaker 5: An queer quere eye with the strange guy?
• 13:09
  Speaker 3: What is it for the straight guy?
• 13:12
  Speaker 4: And they often and they take these guys out and
• 13:14
  Speaker 4: they do all that and they go where and they're like,
• 13:16
  Speaker 4: oh no, They're like, you look fantastic man, and they
• 13:18
  Speaker 4: go but there.
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: Is and I haven't seen that show, but for example,
• 13:22
  Speaker 2: I went to do that and she was like, you
• 13:26
  Speaker 2: know what about those shoes? And I was like, on anequin. Yeah.
• 13:29
  Speaker 2: I was like, no, I can't do that. She goes,
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: look they look great, though, That's exactly what you need.
• 13:34
  Speaker 2: And I said, but look at what else that mannequin
• 13:36
  Speaker 2: is wearing. It's got a sweater tied around it. I
• 13:40
  Speaker 2: was like, I am fucking not that dude. No way.
• 13:43
  Speaker 5: It's about finding somewhere in the middle because my styl
• 13:46
  Speaker 5: has started quite out there. Yeah, and I was like I.
• 13:48
  Speaker 2: Want to feel like, yeah, I'm not a FUNSI project
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: for you.
• 13:52
  Speaker 5: No, No, no interesting chat though, Jason, why don't we
• 13:55
  Speaker 5: go to them all next?
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: Week Yeah man, we's what we can do for you.
• 13:57
  Speaker 5: You get us out too, Grundy your dog's God money,
• 13:59
  Speaker 5: and we'll you bling up a Listen to the big
• 14:02
  Speaker 5: show of Potal seven weekdays Radio heard I'll let.
• 14:05
  Speaker 3: You buy my bling what blood just Nickla says. I'll
• 14:09
  Speaker 3: let you buy it before me.
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: Okay deal