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Embracing Imperfection: Bob Goodale's Journey to Emotional Sobriety · Finding New Waters

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  There are 12 steps in the fellowship of Alcoholics
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  Anonymous and the first step is the minute we were powerless
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  over alcohol and our life was unmanageable.
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  I never did. I got it's still a problem still
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  have lots of I'm, you know I'm wildly imperfect still AM and
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  that's but that's the that's the beauty of it being wild because
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  if we were all perfect it wouldn't be worth being here.
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  You know, I mean that's what that's the that's the goodness
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  of it is our imperfections. But anyway, so I got this,
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  realized that we that I was powerless over Alec and that was
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  a no brainer. I saw that when I went to
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  treatment. I saw that and I said wow,
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  that's the deal. And I never had, I couldn't
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  drink like anybody else, but I had never switched that to that.
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  I was powerless over it. Good afternoon, everybody.
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  My name is Bea Reeves. I'm the Director of Business
• 1:21
  Development here at New Waters Recovery with my colleague and
• 1:24
  friend Thomas Hogs Head, who is our Director of Admissions and
• 1:27
  Director of Operations and our good friend Bob Goodell here,
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  who is a local, I'd say more than a local legend in the
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  recovery community. And I've got a partial bio of
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  Bob I'm going to read just to get us started.
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  And this is from his the Board of is is a member of the Board
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  of Trustees from Healing Transitions.
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  Bob Goodell is a former Harris Teeter CEO and former NC Deputy
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  Secretary of Commerce. In addition to his past service
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  on the Healing Transitions Board of Directors and current service
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  on the Board of Trustees, Bob serves on the Board of Directors
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  of Pivot Point, WNC Pavilion, and the Alcohol and Drug Council
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  of North Carolina, where he also served as President.
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  He previously served on the Hanley Hazleton Foundation Board
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  of Directors, Hazleton National Advisory Committee, Hazleton New
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  York City Advisory Board, North Carolina Department of
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  Corrections Substance Abuse Advisory Board, Rebound
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  Charlotte Board of Directors, Amethyst Foundation, Chairman of
• 2:34
  the Board and the Charlotte Treatment Center Board of
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  Directors and Capital Campaign Chairman Bob served in the Army
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  after receiving ABS degree from Iowa State University.
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  He also received an MBA from the University of Kansas.
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  Bob is a recipient of the Order of the Longleaf Pine.
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  His other honors include the Trotter Black Award, Hope Haven,
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  Charlotte for his unique contributions in the field of
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  recovery and the Order of the Hornet Mecklenburg County, North
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  Carolina Board of Count of County Commissioners, highest
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  award. Bob's Story of Addiction
• 3:10
  Recovery is Told and Second Chances by Gary Stromberg.
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  Welcome Bob. Thank you so much for being here
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  and we are so glad to have you and be talking to your desk.
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  Wow, that's long. What's happened since then?
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  What have you been? Up to you know, that went back
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  to golly a long ways. Yeah.
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  Too long. I wrote it.
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  Yeah. Well, I get that.
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  It's good to be here. Well, we're glad to have you.
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  Great to be here. Big great to be here, Thomas.
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  Well, tell us a little bit just about how you found yourself in
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  the world of recovery. What what?
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  You know, kind of. We talked about what we, what we
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  were like, what happened and what we're like now, You know,
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  give us. The big the, the big thing is,
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  is that all those all that stuff about, you know, what I did
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  professionally and about the the, the biggest thing that
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  happened to me is I stopped drinking in 1972.
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  You know, I don't say I got sober, by the way, because
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  nobody gets sober on their first day.
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  I say I stopped drinking and because you know I began to get
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  really emotionally sober is what it's about and so I'll I just
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  want to start there because that's that's the big deal.
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  I agree it's been emotional and and I didn't begin to find that
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  maybe for 20 years we'll talk about that maybe some but yeah I
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  I had to stop because I couldn't quit and it is hilarious as we
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  know this our stories I I I was I was just you know falling
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  downwards. I was spiritually, I was
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  bankrupt in every way except financially.
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  And I it was, it was, it was getting worse and worse.
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  And I as president of PTA, you know, my wife and I are
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  president of PTA and I was just out there, you know.
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  So I wanted to, I want to see the Bishop because I had
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  problems. And then rather than go to my,
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  you know, Episcopal parish priest, I went to see the Bishop
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  and I said that I had a couple things I want to talk to him
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  about. Silver lunch in Omaha at their
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  one of their finest steakhouses. I said I had two problems.
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  One was problems with my marriage and the other, The
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  other was that I couldn't drink like other people and over 3
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  martinis apiece. We agreed that we would work on
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  the marriage first. Six months later, after running
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  the car off the road and home, all flames burnt, you know,
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  Stubblefield late at night or early in the morning, flames all
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  around the car and ran off. The fire department came, ran
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  off again. I called him up and I said I got
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  to do something. He said at least just opened up
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  here in Omaha and he says I'll call him.
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  And so down I went was #7, the Bishop was #46.
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  And that's how it began. I thought it was about not
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  drinking. See I thought it was about not
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  drinking. So I was a 2 stepper for a long
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  time, and it's and so I was. I know what being restless,
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  irritable, and discontented is. The closer you were to me, the
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  more you knew that you wouldn't have known it otherwise.
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  But, and I just was, I was too stubborn.
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  What changed? 20 years then of Would you say
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  you were a dry, dry drunk? For 20 years, yeah.
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  What? What changed?
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  The difference the well, it was that I I got lucky and was just
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  figured out, figured out was presented to me that success was
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  not about power and money. Wow.
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  How long till you found a sponsor, Bob?
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  Well, I got, well, I'm, I got a sponsor.
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  I begin When I became CEO of Harris Teeter.
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  I thought that I thought that would fix me, by the way.
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  I thought because that's what I aspire to and it didn't.
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  That day was not a good day. So the next day I found myself
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  going to a meeting at the Randolph Clinic, you know, in
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  Charlotte. And I knew when I walked in like
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  we hear all the time, you know, that's where I needed to be and
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  what I would check in periodically whenever we moved
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  around, I'd check in the meeting.
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  But you know and so I I started to go going to meeting and
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  saying and I got a sponsor but you know I got a friend we would
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  never we would have coffee you know they're sponsors and
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  they're sponsors so and so I got a sponsor and I started going to
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  you know start showing up and that was 85.
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  So I was 13 years in or something like that and but then
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  I I, so I started, I started showing up osmosis was
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  occurring. I'll say, you know, I was
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  showing up and so part of my 2 steps, it was really two and a
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  fraction, you know, half of the 1st and all the second, middle,
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  third of the 12th and half of the 11th and some of that stuff
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  and. Will you explain though in
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  further detail what the two Step 2 stepping means?
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  Oh yeah, be sure. Don't know the difference.
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  So there are 12 steps in the fellowship of Alcoholics
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  Anonymous and the first step is the minute we were powerless
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  over alcohol and our life was unmanageable.
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  I never did. I got you know it's still a
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  problem still have lots of I'm, you know I'm wildly imperfect
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  still AM and that's but that's the that's the beauty of it
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  being wild because if we were all perfect it wouldn't be worth
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  being here. You know I mean that's what
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  that's the that's the goodness of it is our imperfections.
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  But anyway so I got this realized that we that I was
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  powerless over Alka that was a no brainer.
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  I saw that when I went to treatment.
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  I saw that and I said wow that's the deal.
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  And I never had. And I couldn't drink like
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  anybody else. But I had never switched that to
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  that. I was powerless over it.
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  I wanted to drink like other people.
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  I want advice on how to do that or what to do about it.
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  So I got that. And and the second step is can't
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  believe that only a power greater than myself could
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  restore me to sanity. And I was nuts.
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  I was crazy. I mean, it was bad crazy.
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  Well, I was good crazy, but but too much bad crazy.
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  Oh wow What have I been? And and when I saw that I said
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  Oh yes so there's where the that's the kind of what step and
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  a half if you will. But we call that the 1st 2 steps
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  and don't go on from there And so if we don't get into the
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  spiritual part you know and if we don't get into examining our
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  character defects and and and working the rest of the steps
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  then we are stuck at being dry and and that's that's that's not
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  a good obvious it's a better place to because you I I stayed
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  what I did is I stayed dry long enough to begin to get sober
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  That was the deal and I was I was I wasn't going to pick up it
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  was that was never an issue because I was because I the
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  consequences were you know I I missed the decade of the 60s.
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  I knew that I'm still trying to catch up so so that was that's
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  that's the whole deal. It's not you know his sobriety
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  is different than abstinence and I know the difference and boy is
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  it something else. It's unbelievable.
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  And it gets, it keeps getting better.
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  I'm 90 years old and it keeps getting better.
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  So I mean if. If there's an example of someone
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  living his life to the fullest, I would point to you.
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  Yeah, I mean, Bob's Zest for life.
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  It's it's contagious. You know the the the people that
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  know you in the recovery community, you are, you're
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  revered, you're a champion and it's it's pretty amazing.
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  Well, it is. It's.
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  Yeah, it is so. You and I've known you just for
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  a few years, and in the few years I've known you, I've seen
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  you. I haven't seen you do it in
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  person, but I've seen pictures and video of you doing it, so
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  you've repelled. Tell us what you've done with
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  the rappelling down the. Well, so this, so the whole
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  thing was just realizing, like, I'm wild and imperfect and I'm
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  also happy, joyous and free, and that's the result.
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  Of yes. Being emotionally sober.
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  Increasingly emotionally sober, right, For my period, you know,
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  of course, when it's far from that, you know I'm sad.
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  But when I say you know, moments.
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  Even though you were very successful in business and the
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  even in for a period you were dry not drinking, but you were
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  still unable to be present even without the drink because of
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  your because your because of the ISM was still.
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  Well, yeah, I mean, I I was. I was not.
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  I mean, let's say the potential, You know, I learned a lot, found
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  out what's I found out what to do by finding out what not to
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  do, found out what worked by finding out what didn't work.
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  And so I was able to stay dry long enough.
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  So I say to everybody, don't do what I did.
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  Don't wait. Work on the work, on emotional
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  sobriety. It's not just about not
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  drinking, not using. Because life is unbelievable
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  when you when you when you're able to live it to its force.
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  I was six months sober and I was in New York and I went to the
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  same meeting every day. This place called Perry St.
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  Workshop and I heard a different person every day say this over
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  three days. I came for my drinking.
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  I stayed for my thinking and that I think that's totally sums
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  it up for me of all the cliches and slogans we hear in recovery.
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  That, to me, is what it's all about, and my thinking is my
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  emotional sobriety. That's right.
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  You know, Yeah, yeah, I think about it all the time.
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  Yeah. So what have you seen from
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  somebody who's been around 50 years interested in recovery,
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  been to a lot of meetings, you've been on the board, Board
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  of several treatment centers. What do you what do you see as
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  how things have changed? For the good, For the bad?
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  What do you what do you, what are your thoughts on the
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  treatment landscape? Not just recovery itself.
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  It's specifically treatment. Well, there's when I so
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  comparing it to. So I have to compare it to 1972
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  and it's light years different than it is now.
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  It's going to be light years different 50 years from now.
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  It's moving in that direction. So, so I I so I went, I went to
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  treatment. It was a 28 day program that
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  kept me for six weeks. I'm sure that they thought when
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  they, you know, finally said that I'd be back or, you know,
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  I'd be out or one way or the other because they knew enough
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  about what I was hiding. They knew I was hiding.
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  That's it. They didn't know about what I
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  was hiding and and so there wasn't any.
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  There wasn't any, you know, get a sponsor.
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  It was the obligatory 4th and 5th and my obligatory 4th.
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  You know all I wanted to do was head right to the to go home and
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  have an admitting fit. You know change the lives of
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  others forever and so so that's I I just hopped right to that to
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  make an amends except when but I didn't read that except when to
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  do so when injured them or others.
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  You see I, I I like, I I the the words like exact and all and you
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  know on the other part of it like my life was unmanageable.
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  I didn't I all we got was I was powerless over alcohol.
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  So I, I, well, why would I didn't have a sponsor to direct
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  me So I wasn't LED that way. I wasn't we weren't taking any
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  meetings or anything like that. So that's and of course it's a
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  lot different now. Who would have believed, for
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  example, that? Anything like New Waters.
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  I mean, please, you know, that's that wasn't even a dream.
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  In in that light like working with others Bob, like I I met
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  you back in 2008 through the late great Fred Barber and your
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  ability to work with others that you know transitions and and
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  those men and those women is so profound that your impact on
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  them you still go down there quite a bit and.
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  It's much. Well, I it'll never be often
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  enough. I have, I have.
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  I've always had, I've always liked to have friends who didn't
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  think like me, look like me, some talk like me and and and I
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  I mean it's like I've traveled I've I've had an opportunity to
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  go to places or smell like me. Always had a big that's why I'm
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  so drawn to you guys anyway. So but you don't have to go you
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  don't have to travel far. I mean it's it's it's just I
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  just cannot because the the miracles that you see I mean
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  since you see that you're involved in that you witness
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  that you're part of that sometimes happened to you or
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  they're just it's just a avalanche and that's where I
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  just so it's part of being happy Joyce and free as you can do as
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  I can do that. Yeah, and what you said about
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  people not don't look like me. I mean, I I remember when I
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  first found, got home from treatment and was going to
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  meetings and I would see somebody who walked in and
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  looked like it's about my age and kind of dressed like me and
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  look like me and like, oh, that guy will be my new best buddy in
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  in recovery. You know.
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  And it was pretty rare that that person not had anything in
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  common. And then I would, you know, be
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  in a meeting and hear would like a, you know, an old lady who was
• 18:43
  a crackhead and she would say something that I related to more
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  than anything I'd ever heard in my life.
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  You know. And it's a great example of can
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  you know, identifying with instead of comparing to and and
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  that it this transcends everything you know.
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  Well, yeah, I I call it that. I just get more, more and more
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  material, not necessarily material to, you know to relate
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  to all those you know, but just just I, I, I, I sometimes not
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  often I'll be in a place and I'll, I will.
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  And the other day as a matter of fact, right over not far from
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  here at Costco, I was picking up some water and I met a guy who
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  helped me a lot, works there, Ben.
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  And we started laughing and and so I was in sitting in the car
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  and I was laughing and then and the laugh broke into a cry
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  because I realized how lucky. How is this possible?
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  How is it possible? It happens to me all the time.
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  It's just, you know, I'm I'm, I'm able to.
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  It's going to go out and and places that I never would have
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  imagined even five years ago that I'd be sometimes it's a
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  homeless camp and I'm and I'm and I'm witnessing unconditional
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  love and I'm saying to myself how the hell how is this how is
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  this possible that I'm here and it's it's very moving to me and
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  so because so it's it's like you want more of that right.
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  And so that's yeah. Having seen that in action, Bob,
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  people do gravitate towards you in meetings and social settings,
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  I think. I think your laughter is a big.
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  Part of that well that's genetic I I I can go back to I I didn't
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  know my grandfather he died when I but I but he was but he was a
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  storyteller and then I had an Ant that's so I mean that's so
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  that's that's so but it's just is because it's it's it's just
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  this a great way to be. I I know the exact feeling
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  you're talking about the the part laugh, part cried.
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  I never experienced it until recovery, you know, sobriety,
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  where I was driving on January 2nd of I think 2020.
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  I was a year and a half sober. I was driving to work after.
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  I've been trying to lose. I've been losing weight for
• 21:26
  about a year and a half since I got sober.
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  And I was determined to get to below 200 lbs.
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  And on New Year's Day I woke up and I weighed exactly 200 lbs.
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  So close I was shaving and blowing my nose and trying to
• 21:38
  lose .1 LB and just mocking me. It's still at 200 lbs.
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  So the next day I had to be at work and I was going to the gym
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  every morning driving in the dark.
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  And I got up on January 2nd to drive to to drive to work, to go
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  to the gym at my office and then go to work.
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  And I got I woke up and I weighed 199.1.
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  And I just thought. Yes.
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  Then I got in the car to drive out there, driving in the dark
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  on I-40 on January 2nd. Nobody's on the road and just
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  broke down in total tears, but also laughing at the same time.
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  It was what I could only describe as pure joy and the joy
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  of living. And it wasn't just that I had
• 22:13
  gotten to this weight loss goal, but it was everything.
• 22:16
  That how my life had completely changed and it was all due to
• 22:20
  the 12 steps. Yeah.
• 22:21
  Well, so Speaking of exercise, so I, I was in Charlotte and I
• 22:28
  was, you know, I was restless, irritable and discontented.
• 22:32
  My wife recognized that. And so I was doing I I'd been a
• 22:35
  gym rat growing up. And so here it is 20 years later
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  and, well, it's almost 30 years later.
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  And my wife made an appointment for me down at the Charlotte Y
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  and I. That's where I discovered
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  endorphins. Oh, man.
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  So I'd go in the morning and I go at night.
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  And so here I was, you know, this, this CEO of Harris Steel.
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  We moved our office down, you know, now, no, no, no,
• 23:19
  Charlotte. But anyway, say it was about 20
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  minutes from downtown, maybe 25 from the center, from the
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  downtown line. That's where I went.
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  So I would leave work dressed like you did in the, you know,
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  in the 80s. I would leave work and and I
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  would arrive absolutely ready to go to the 6:00 class.
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  In other words, for a person, this time on the busiest St. in
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  Charlotte, NC, I was naked. This is part of, this is part of
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  still being crazy. You know, I was doing good, good
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  kind of, well, maybe good kind of crazy it was.
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  But that's that's an endorphin. So I'm still, you know, I'm a
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  gym rat. And that's continued to be.
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  I still love those endorphins, so I agree.
• 24:14
  Bob, clearly you've been influential on many.
• 24:18
  Who could you share with us that has been deeply influential on
• 24:21
  yourself? Oh, Fred Barber, you know, Sure,
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  I'm Fred Barber. And Fred was instrumental in
• 24:27
  founding Healing Transition. Yeah, Fred.
• 24:30
  Fred Barber. And so I have lots of folks that
• 24:36
  I that I want to pay attention to.
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  I mean, I go to, I go to 2-3, sometimes 4 minutes a week still
• 24:45
  do. And I go, you know, because I'm
• 24:49
  it's a community of friends and I go because I'm gone, you know,
• 24:55
  it's I'm always going to pick up something.
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  So I have a number of folks who are important to me in the
• 25:09
  community who are you know in recovery that so it's it's it's
• 25:17
  it's a pretty long list but I can I can look back.
• 25:20
  Fred. I feel him tapping on my
• 25:22
  shoulder so often and I like that.
• 25:27
  I like that it's kind of what would.
• 25:31
  You know, I I'm sure you've heard this way more than I or
• 25:35
  Thomas or anybody. But you know when people I don't
• 25:39
  get asked this much. But I feel like this is one of
• 25:40
  those kind of legends we hear about an A or or stories that
• 25:44
  like a youth or a a anecdote. You still going to those
• 25:49
  meetings. You still need to go to those
• 25:50
  those meetings and you know, you're nine years old, fifty
• 25:54
  plus years sober and you're still, I mean that.
• 25:56
  That's just testament to we don't have to go, we get to go
• 25:59
  because we love going, you know? What?
• 26:01
  What better to do, you know? I mean it's it's.
• 26:06
  Anyway, it's pretty special. Well, we saw some video of you
• 26:13
  flying a plane recently. Will you tell us about that?
• 26:17
  Well yes, I I had an opportunity on the 21st of December to go to
• 26:23
  Norfolk with a a friend who his daughter and went with a
• 26:32
  daughter too is a third year at the Air Force Academy and for
• 26:39
  for her Christmas present her parents had given her this
• 26:43
  opportunity to to go to fly one of these and she fly she had a
• 26:50
  pilot's license before she had her driver's license and she's
• 26:54
  going to be a pilot. So the question her dad who's
• 26:56
  who's also a pilot and she's going to be a fighter pilot, you
• 27:01
  know that right away. But she has to choose between
• 27:03
  fighters and bombers that this would be a good experience
• 27:05
  because he did it as part of his training and recently and so
• 27:11
  what's this? This is an airplane that's built
• 27:14
  for for acrobatics. It only weighs 13150 lbs.
• 27:19
  Think about this. Powered by a 300 air horsepower
• 27:22
  motor. There's a front seat in the back
• 27:24
  seat a canopy that you could that that's as clean as any
• 27:28
  canopy you can imagine and and so we'll get us an hour briefing
• 27:33
  and then she's going up for an hour and so I on the so he
• 27:37
  couldn't go he couldn't take her in their plane.
• 27:40
  I said well, I will. They live near Charlotte and you
• 27:43
  know, and you don't have to take her, she take herself.
• 27:46
  But just to be with her. And then it occurred to me he
• 27:49
  couldn't go and then he couldn't and so that I was going to do
• 27:51
  that, that well I'm going to go on the second day I was thinking
• 27:57
  about it. I said well I want to go and so
• 28:01
  and so and so I asked them and they said sure, well it turned
• 28:06
  out that the I want to go was just flying there in their plane
• 28:11
  because there's just two seats. So I thought, well that was a
• 28:15
  bit bit of a disappointment but I didn't say anything.
• 28:18
  But she's up for she's, I mean she's going to go the whole, the
• 28:22
  whole hour time and we're talking about stalls and loop de
• 28:25
  loops and flying upside down, all the things that you see at
• 28:28
  air shows. And her dad said, do you want to
• 28:32
  go up? Of course.
• 28:34
  I said absolutely. I want that adrenaline you know.
• 28:39
  And so, so up we went and so and I had the stick, so I was in the
• 28:48
  front and he was in the back, had a parachute on by the way.
• 28:51
  And they give you the best part of the drill.
• 28:53
  Take everything out of your pockets like you do when you go
• 28:56
  to the fair and and away. And away we went and he said now
• 29:01
  take the stick. So I'm and you know so I got the
• 29:05
  stick and he said all right, which is we're going to do
• 29:07
  barrel rolls. And so we did 2 barrel rolls and
• 29:11
  I'm Howard and shouting, you know, all the time because it
• 29:14
  was unbelievable. And then so so they asked for.
• 29:22
  So there's a video that you see and and so they said they asked
• 29:27
  for permission to use that in their social media.
• 29:30
  Of course I got that. So it was.
• 29:34
  But that's the that's the part of the deal.
• 29:36
  Being happy choice and free and being, being, you know being
• 29:41
  interested in in in adventure and you know not being crazy
• 29:48
  about it I guess. But maybe and also it's just to
• 29:53
  show that it's it's it's it's too maybe not maybe.
• 29:59
  But a mission to show that being old doesn't mean that you just
• 30:04
  have to mildew, you know? I mean if you want to build
• 30:09
  birdhouses, that's fine or do puzzles, that's fine.
• 30:13
  But if you know and we so it's it's an example like at the gym,
• 30:20
  you know, I do. I can do stuff that's, you know
• 30:23
  get on a bow soup ball. That's kind of unusual, but it's
• 30:29
  because I can. That's part of being happy,
• 30:32
  Joyce and free is to find out what you can do and what works.
• 30:37
  So anyway, that's awesome. So Bob, is there anything on the
• 30:41
  bucket list that remains that we should be aware of upcomings?
• 30:46
  People, I get asked every once in a while what's on your bucket
• 30:49
  list, and my answer is tomorrow. Right on.
• 30:54
  That's it. That's it.
• 30:57
  That's a great answer. One day at a time, we can get
• 31:01
  through today. Then there's tomorrow.
• 31:02
  Some folks, some folks ask me, well, you know, how'd you do it?
• 31:07
  You know? Yeah, I say.
• 31:09
  Why didn't? Dive.
• 31:10
  I've heard you. Today, but the fact is that you
• 31:15
  know I did. So so just to recap here that
• 31:20
  it's not about just being dry just quitting just you know is
• 31:28
  is that's just, that's not it is a beginning.
• 31:33
  The wonderful part of it is is to embrace something like the 12
• 31:38
  steps of Alcoholics Anonymous and it's brethren and embrace
• 31:45
  seeking emotional sobriety, understanding the spiritual
• 31:50
  nature of recovery and and embracing it, and learning and
• 31:56
  growing in it. That's the deal.
• 32:00
  Don't stop just quitting, just stopping.
• 32:05
  Yeah. And I think we're deeply
• 32:06
  fortunate in the Raleigh area to have so many meetings, to have
• 32:09
  so many treatment facilities, to have so many people that are
• 32:13
  doing the deal and inspirational to the to the newcomer.
• 32:17
  It's it's just it's just a a a community or communities of of
• 32:26
  of folks that you know one thing that I like stick with the
• 32:31
  winners. There are lots of winners and
• 32:35
  that's part of, you know, we talked about before folks, man,
• 32:40
  I want to, I want to be, I want to listen.
• 32:42
  I want to be next to. I go to, I'll go to a sweat
• 32:48
  lodge tonight and there's there are people there that I want.
• 32:51
  I don't see otherwise, that I want to sit next to them just
• 32:56
  because they're fun and they teach me.
• 33:04
  They teach me to think about things and say things that I
• 33:09
  have never thought about before. And that's something else.
• 33:14
  I mean I love to hear that man, 90 years old.
• 33:16
  He's still out seeking and learning and and wanting to
• 33:22
  learn. It's it's this is you're you're
• 33:26
  right here just to blow your boat.
• 33:27
  This is you have no idea how inspiring is it it is.
• 33:30
  See me in a sweat lodge. I need so much help even getting
• 33:34
  it I. Don't see any video of them,
• 33:37
  just like. Talking about before people said
• 33:41
  to me, oh, you don't look like you're not.
• 33:43
  And I say, where do you watch me?
• 33:44
  Why so, anyway? Well this has been great Bob.
• 33:53
  I think it would be nice in closing if a newcomer came up to
• 33:57
  you today in a meeting you know and he said Bob, I need help,
• 34:01
  it's I'm in early recovery and I'm, I'm struggling.
• 34:04
  What words of wisdom would you share with him that?
• 34:09
  Well, tell my experience strength and hope that's what
• 34:11
  we're supposed to do. But you know it's you're never
• 34:16
  going to be lied to. You know come join us and stick
• 34:21
  her and just and and also I always, always want to have an
• 34:29
  have a depth of a conversation. It doesn't have to be, you know,
• 34:33
  terribly long. When I say terribly long, I mean
• 34:36
  it can be 3 or 4 minutes to be able to look someone in the eye
• 34:40
  and tell them I love them and give them a hug.
• 34:46
  And you can't beat that. But we love you both.
• 34:49
  We do love you both. We do.
• 34:51
  The community. Thanks.
• 34:54
  Thank you so much for doing a lot of.
• 34:55
  Fun, yeah. We're better off with you than
• 34:57
  we are without. This has been a treat.
• 35:01
  Thank you. Thank you.