Latest / What's The Juice? / Ep.168 Thoughts On Body Image

Transcript

Ep.168 Thoughts On Body Image · What's The Juice?

• 0:10
  [SPEAKER_04]: Okay, I'm just over here waiting for you to get off his phone.
• 0:17
  [SPEAKER_04]: We're just really addicted to this shit, you know.
• 0:20
  [SPEAKER_02]: I don't like when you press record when I'm not ready yet.
• 0:24
  [SPEAKER_02]: We're not even know what you're doing.
• 0:25
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 0:26
  [SPEAKER_04]: Well, here we are.
• 0:27
  [SPEAKER_04]: So I'm going to force you to start because I don't like it.
• 0:31
  [SPEAKER_04]: We have to get this work done because I need to make and I to make dinner.
• 0:35
  [SPEAKER_02]: So we are currently in the process of pre-recording.
• 0:38
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 0:40
  [SPEAKER_02]: We'll be out of town for like a month.
• 0:43
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, well, I'll be gone for a month.
• 0:45
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 0:45
  [SPEAKER_02]: And then you'll be gone for two weeks.
• 0:47
  [SPEAKER_04]: Three weeks.
• 0:48
  [SPEAKER_02]: Three weeks.
• 0:49
  [SPEAKER_02]: And while we're gone, as you guys know, we can't record.
• 0:52
  [SPEAKER_04]: Even no.
• 0:53
  [SPEAKER_02]: Can't record.
• 0:54
  [SPEAKER_04]: Question right now.
• 0:55
  [SPEAKER_04]: And since we're at the beginning.
• 0:56
  [SPEAKER_02]: Okay.
• 0:57
  [SPEAKER_04]: How do you guys feel about an alia solo Q&A audio?
• 1:02
  [SPEAKER_04]: Because Yoni got to do this like years ago.
• 1:05
  [SPEAKER_04]: Season two, I think it was.
• 1:06
  [SPEAKER_04]: I was the juice when I was out of town for longer than he was or maybe out was just out of town period.
• 1:14
  [SPEAKER_04]: And we pre-recorded but like maybe not enough.
• 1:16
  [SPEAKER_04]: I don't know.
• 1:17
  [SPEAKER_04]: So you ended up recording a Yoni solo Q&A and I want one too.
• 1:22
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I feel like I need to do a new one because the two year... Well, no, you don't get a new one.
• 1:27
  [SPEAKER_02]: The version of me, of club, the version of me, the version of myself, or the version that I was two years ago, is not the same version that I am today.
• 1:35
  [SPEAKER_02]: I feel like I have a lot of new insight, and I have a lot of new, I've grown, I've matured.
• 1:40
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 1:40
  [SPEAKER_04]: Well, I never got one, so I need to get one too.
• 1:45
  [SPEAKER_04]: So let me know, let us know down in the spot of five.
• 1:48
  [SPEAKER_02]: I think we already know.
• 1:49
  [SPEAKER_04]: I mean, regardless of what you guys say, I'm going to do in any ways.
• 1:52
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, so yeah, I'm excited.
• 1:55
  [SPEAKER_04]: I'm excited to sit right here and just blah blah blah blah blah blah.
• 1:58
  [SPEAKER_04]: That's gonna be so easy.
• 2:00
  [SPEAKER_04]: Watch the episodes.
• 2:00
  [SPEAKER_04]: We make two hours.
• 2:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: Probably, but don't make it too early.
• 2:05
  [SPEAKER_04]: No, I want make two hours.
• 2:06
  [SPEAKER_04]: I want two hours.
• 2:08
  [SPEAKER_04]: But how are you doing?
• 2:10
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm doing good.
• 2:11
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm feeling very chatty today.
• 2:14
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's a beautiful sunset.
• 2:15
  [SPEAKER_02]: From our part, maybe we can see the beautiful yellow brownish sunset.
• 2:22
  [SPEAKER_04]: A yellow brown sunset doesn't look that nice.
• 2:25
  [SPEAKER_04]: Seems that nice.
• 2:26
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 2:26
  [SPEAKER_04]: I feel like if you said it was like ink or gold or something.
• 2:29
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 2:30
  [SPEAKER_04]: But like a pink brown zone.
• 2:32
  [SPEAKER_02]: But I'm doing good.
• 2:33
  [SPEAKER_02]: You know, let's see what's going on today.
• 2:36
  [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, well, damn I should have said it on the other episode.
• 2:40
  [SPEAKER_02]: But I dropped a new YouTube video, okay?
• 2:42
  [SPEAKER_04]: Well, I feel like, by the time this episode comes out, maybe you'll have another new YouTube video.
• 2:46
  [SPEAKER_02]: Okay, well, I dropped a new YouTube video.
• 2:48
  [SPEAKER_02]: Okay, go to youtube.com slash, yoni, ecoro.
• 2:53
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I'm really be going at it, guys.
• 2:55
  [SPEAKER_02]: Okay.
• 2:55
  [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know.
• 2:56
  [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know what's happening, but this fire needs to stay lit because I feel good, you know.
• 3:03
  [SPEAKER_04]: As you should, and I was gonna say, too, if you haven't yet,
• 3:07
  [SPEAKER_04]: watched, checked out, clicked on, subscribed to, gave a thumbs up to commented on any of Yoni's content on YouTube.
• 3:18
  [SPEAKER_04]: You better do that right now.
• 3:20
  [SPEAKER_04]: I actually want you to do that before you continue to listen to this episode.
• 3:24
  [SPEAKER_04]: I will sacrifice this episode.
• 3:25
  [SPEAKER_02]: Actually, that's a great idea for that.
• 3:27
  [SPEAKER_04]: So it's linked on the description, whatever you're listening on, you can just open your phone, put in your password, scroll to the description, click that link, and just click a few other buttons.
• 3:38
  [SPEAKER_02]: I think they can do it as they listen to, say this.
• 3:41
  [SPEAKER_04]: I mean, that is true, you can do it, but you should also watch the videos.
• 3:44
  [SPEAKER_04]: So if you have to, yeah.
• 3:46
  [SPEAKER_04]: If you have to sacrifice this episode to watch one of your videos.
• 3:50
  [SPEAKER_04]: And then come back to this, obviously.
• 3:54
  [SPEAKER_02]: Finish this episode and then watch the video.
• 3:56
  [SPEAKER_04]: I just feel like they'll forget.
• 3:57
  [SPEAKER_04]: Don't forget.
• 3:58
  [SPEAKER_02]: Don't forget, right?
• 3:58
  [SPEAKER_02]: You'll stop everything, right?
• 4:02
  [SPEAKER_04]: And while you're at it, subscribe to me too if you haven't yet.
• 4:04
  [SPEAKER_02]: I think everybody is always subscribed to you.
• 4:08
  [SPEAKER_02]: Everybody, but how are you doing?
• 4:10
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm doing good.
• 4:10
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm going to go over here with jeans for some reason.
• 4:12
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 4:13
  [SPEAKER_04]: I'm wearing jeans.
• 4:15
  [SPEAKER_04]: I these are these jeans I'm wearing right now.
• 4:17
  [SPEAKER_04]: We're not talking about fashion again.
• 4:18
  [SPEAKER_04]: Don't worry, but these jeans that I'm wearing right now are my like dirty like I want to call them artists jeans.
• 4:24
  [SPEAKER_02]: They're not dirty yet.
• 4:25
  [SPEAKER_04]: They're not dirty yet, but like when I'm cooking, I don't mind wiping my hand on my jeans.
• 4:31
  [SPEAKER_02]: I mean, are those going to be those jeans?
• 4:33
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, these are one hundred percent going to be those jeans.
• 4:35
  [SPEAKER_02]: Really?
• 4:35
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, let's get them dirty then.
• 4:37
  [SPEAKER_04]: I am.
• 4:38
  [SPEAKER_04]: I am.
• 4:38
  [SPEAKER_04]: I have a spot right here.
• 4:40
  [SPEAKER_02]: You know what makes, you know, it's a good starter for like dirty jeans.
• 4:43
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's like a splash of like paint of like matcha before you introduce to make it to watch.
• 4:48
  [SPEAKER_02]: Like when you when you swirl it around like have a little but it needs to happen on accident.
• 4:54
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, that's why I just have to keep wearing them, live life in them.
• 4:56
  [SPEAKER_04]: Like, there's no fake shit over here.
• 4:58
  [SPEAKER_04]: There's no like, I'm gonna put some fake much on my jeans.
• 5:00
  [SPEAKER_02]: Like, that's crazy.
• 5:01
  [SPEAKER_02]: You gotta, so I see you really like the way I folded them.
• 5:04
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, I liked the way you folded them.
• 5:05
  [SPEAKER_04]: They're kind of like cropped a little bit.
• 5:07
  [SPEAKER_04]: They're super, super long.
• 5:08
  [SPEAKER_04]: And they're actually men's jeans.
• 5:10
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, but you should tailor them or sell them.
• 5:13
  [SPEAKER_04]: I want to.
• 5:13
  [SPEAKER_04]: What I want to do is I want to paint.
• 5:16
  [SPEAKER_04]: You know, we keep talking about that.
• 5:18
  [SPEAKER_04]: We're going to paint this big canvas for our planet.
• 5:20
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, we've been talking about a lot of that.
• 5:22
  [SPEAKER_04]: And I want to wear these jeans when we do that painting.
• 5:26
  [SPEAKER_04]: And I kind of want to get, I want to do that one.
• 5:27
  [SPEAKER_04]: And I want to also just do another one.
• 5:29
  [SPEAKER_04]: Like a smaller one.
• 5:30
  [SPEAKER_02]: I think it would be fun.
• 5:31
  [SPEAKER_02]: So we're these expensive.
• 5:33
  [SPEAKER_04]: These were actually gifted to me.
• 5:35
  [SPEAKER_02]: Okay, yeah, let's welcome up.
• 5:38
  [SPEAKER_04]: But let's talk about let's talk about something that I wanted to chat about today.
• 5:43
  [SPEAKER_04]: I've been wanting to talk about this all summer.
• 5:47
  [SPEAKER_04]: and it just never really got the time.
• 5:49
  [SPEAKER_04]: But the idea of this episode came from honestly, Yoni, and just what a difference being in this relationship with this great man over here.
• 6:04
  [SPEAKER_02]: Stop it right now.
• 6:05
  [SPEAKER_04]: Has has helped in my journey in accepting my body.
• 6:12
  [SPEAKER_04]: If you don't know the background, I'm gonna make it real quick.
• 6:15
  [SPEAKER_04]: I used to dance ballet.
• 6:17
  [SPEAKER_04]: I was dancing ballet.
• 6:18
  [SPEAKER_04]: I was four years old.
• 6:19
  [SPEAKER_04]: Although we up to when I was like, in my twenties, I think I can't remember exactly what age.
• 6:24
  [SPEAKER_04]: When I stopped, I think I was like, twenty, maybe.
• 6:26
  [SPEAKER_04]: And
• 6:30
  [SPEAKER_04]: It kind of messed up the way that I view my body, the way that I view food, my relationship to food, my relationship to exercise, my relationship to fashion, to clothing.
• 6:43
  [SPEAKER_02]: The list goes on and on, guys.
• 6:45
  [SPEAKER_04]: I mean, there's many other things too.
• 6:47
  [SPEAKER_04]: My friendship with women, that's a, that's a reason one.
• 6:50
  [SPEAKER_04]: I've realized like ballet sort of impact, that shit.
• 6:52
  [SPEAKER_04]: We'll talk about that in another day.
• 6:54
  [SPEAKER_04]: Really?
• 6:54
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, I'll make a note on that.
• 6:56
  [SPEAKER_04]: Maybe we'll talk about that on Patreon, but actually I'm gonna write that down.
• 6:59
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I don't even know why you're about to say.
• 7:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: Do you say friendship with women?
• 7:05
  [SPEAKER_04]: Real quick, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 7:07
  [SPEAKER_04]: If you want to listen to that, it's going to be on Patreon.
• 7:09
  [SPEAKER_02]: Okay, as Alia is typing this, yeah, this is an episode that she's been wanting to make for
• 7:17
  [SPEAKER_04]: I mean, we've already talked about this like way way back back when I think it was pillow talk.
• 7:22
  [SPEAKER_04]: We had an episode that was called What is a Summer Body?
• 7:25
  [SPEAKER_04]: And then I also think we had season two maybe an episode that was like Body and Securities while in a relationship.
• 7:34
  [SPEAKER_02]: What I meant to say is that you meant to talk about this topic for a couple of weeks now.
• 7:37
  [SPEAKER_02]: You were ready to talk about it.
• 7:39
  [SPEAKER_04]: Oh, yeah.
• 7:39
  [SPEAKER_04]: I wanted to talk about it because I feel like something happens as I turned twenty six.
• 7:44
  [SPEAKER_04]: And you knew who loves to call this out.
• 7:46
  [SPEAKER_04]: What would you say actually?
• 7:47
  [SPEAKER_04]: So I don't put words in your mouth, but what would you say are some significant changes you have seen in me since turning twenty six like three months ago?
• 7:56
  [SPEAKER_02]: You're a lot more patient out of the blue.
• 7:59
  [SPEAKER_02]: Like you turned twenty six, you woke up the next day and you were a patient person.
• 8:03
  [SPEAKER_04]: Okay.
• 8:03
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 8:04
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I love that.
• 8:05
  [SPEAKER_02]: I know if that's something that you just felt like, you know what?
• 8:09
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's time.
• 8:09
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's time.
• 8:10
  [SPEAKER_02]: I need to just relax a little bit.
• 8:13
  [SPEAKER_02]: Just take it easy.
• 8:14
  [SPEAKER_02]: Sometimes in life, guys, just take it easy.
• 8:17
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's okay.
• 8:19
  [SPEAKER_02]: I think I just like you're saying this but I feel like I was just tired I was like it's something like just go go go do this do that oh I got this take a deep breath and take it one at a time one thing at a time that was big changes it's kind of like working at a coffee shop and you see a long line don't get stressed and you see that line don't even look at that line okay
• 8:41
  [SPEAKER_02]: Look at the person in front of you, help them onto the next, thanks for calling your drinks right there, boom, next person.
• 8:47
  [SPEAKER_02]: Don't look at the line.
• 8:48
  [SPEAKER_02]: I don't care if the line is around a corner.
• 8:51
  [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know who you could have a celebrity standing like, you know, I'm not even gonna know they're there until you're in front of me.
• 8:57
  [SPEAKER_02]: That's what I'm talking about.
• 8:58
  [SPEAKER_02]: Okay, but so take it easy relax one thing out of time with you.
• 9:00
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 9:01
  [SPEAKER_04]: No, it's true.
• 9:01
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's true.
• 9:03
  [SPEAKER_02]: What else?
• 9:04
  [SPEAKER_02]: Your sense of style.
• 9:07
  [SPEAKER_02]: There's like there's been a little, a small little shift that's happened.
• 9:11
  [SPEAKER_04]: Okay.
• 9:12
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 9:13
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I like it.
• 9:14
  [SPEAKER_04]: Okay.
• 9:15
  [SPEAKER_02]: So another thing other than okay.
• 9:17
  [SPEAKER_02]: So okay.
• 9:18
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, we don't have to keep fishing basically.
• 9:21
  [SPEAKER_04]: I have really just grown into accepting my body the way that it looks and the way that it is.
• 9:28
  [SPEAKER_04]: And this has been a journey.
• 9:31
  [SPEAKER_04]: Let me tell you.
• 9:33
  [SPEAKER_04]: And if one person knows deeply deeply
• 9:37
  [SPEAKER_04]: how this was his journey because when we met is when I was basically transitioning from my entire life being about ballet, being about being as skinny as possible and as small as possible and being also an athlete and being able to perform at that level.
• 9:58
  [SPEAKER_04]: and it went from that being my entire life and trying to give validation constantly and having a job to who am I what is life what do I want to do with my life yeah and while those things were huge another thing too I was like unlearning and I had to do so much unlearning on the basis of what is beautiful what is a beautiful body what is
• 10:22
  [SPEAKER_04]: Uh, I don't know, a healthy body, like so many different things when it comes to just like physical appearance.
• 10:29
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
• 10:32
  [SPEAKER_04]: It was tough.
• 10:33
  [SPEAKER_04]: There was times where like a couldn't get dressed.
• 10:35
  [SPEAKER_02]: It was kind of like starting a whole new life together.
• 10:39
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 10:40
  [SPEAKER_02]: Not together.
• 10:41
  [SPEAKER_04]: I mean, you're starting a whole new life together.
• 10:43
  [SPEAKER_02]: Right.
• 10:43
  [SPEAKER_02]: But like I was meeting someone for the first time, but it was almost like you're meeting yourself for the first time.
• 10:48
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 10:49
  [SPEAKER_04]: I was like read this, I had to read sort of not reinvent myself.
• 10:53
  [SPEAKER_03]: Right.
• 10:53
  [SPEAKER_04]: But like a lot, it's other than my personality.
• 10:57
  [SPEAKER_04]: Everything else I had to do with my life from like the direction I was going in to everything.
• 11:02
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 11:03
  [SPEAKER_04]: It was like from baseline zero.
• 11:05
  [SPEAKER_02]: zero and I remember so I'm trying to you know I'm trying to get to know you but then at the same time you're trying to get to know yourself it's like what what kind of things am I into and also to besides the things that you're into and what you want to do in life whatever it was like
• 11:26
  [SPEAKER_02]: knowing who you are, like who you are in your skin.
• 11:29
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 11:30
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I feel like we had to, I guess, I say, we because I feel like I was there from the previous pair.
• 11:36
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 11:36
  [SPEAKER_04]: We're there with me.
• 11:38
  [SPEAKER_04]: And there were so many different phases, which is why I also had so many phases.
• 11:42
  [SPEAKER_04]: One because I also ended up like
• 11:44
  [SPEAKER_04]: being online and I ended up posting online so then I was also consuming a lot of content and I was trying to fit and figure out like what is my content and who am I online and who am I in real life and there was so much identity crisis that I feel like I've been going through honestly for the last like five years when people say identity crisis she's experienced that experience right there it's not like I don't know what to wear today I mean she's like for she but it's also something that just happens in your twenties
• 12:12
  [SPEAKER_02]: I mean, maybe, you know, I'm not saying that.
• 12:14
  [SPEAKER_04]: I think it was like a lot of different things.
• 12:16
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I think it was a lot of different things.
• 12:17
  [SPEAKER_04]: But I can safely say like now at twenty six six years later.
• 12:23
  [SPEAKER_04]: I feel like I am coming into, I'm growing into myself in a way that I really like.
• 12:29
  [SPEAKER_04]: And I think that's so important to acknowledge and I'm so grateful that I can recognize truthfully that's where I am.
• 12:37
  [SPEAKER_04]: Where I'm no longer always obsessing over the fact that I'm short.
• 12:42
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, I make jokes sometimes.
• 12:44
  [SPEAKER_04]: And I'm like, of course, I'm not as close to fit me because they're too long.
• 12:48
  [SPEAKER_04]: Everything's made for people that are long.
• 12:50
  [SPEAKER_04]: And that's still valid and annoying.
• 12:52
  [SPEAKER_02]: That is true.
• 12:53
  [SPEAKER_04]: You know, but at the same time is like I'm learning how to like address myself.
• 12:58
  [SPEAKER_04]: I am I am I'm more confident in like types of clothes that fit me and the things that I like and I've just accepted who I am and the reason why I want to talk about this
• 13:10
  [SPEAKER_04]: is because when I was at the retreat in Portugal, I met this girl who also had a ballet background.
• 13:18
  [SPEAKER_04]: So we ended up having this like deep conversations about ballet.
• 13:24
  [SPEAKER_04]: And she also, yeah, she also wasn't dancing anymore, but she had stopped dancing like much more recently than I have.
• 13:30
  [SPEAKER_04]: I haven't danced since we met literally, so seven years.
• 13:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's crazy.
• 13:37
  [SPEAKER_04]: And she had stopped dancing like relatively recently, like maybe within the last two years.
• 13:44
  [SPEAKER_04]: So for her, things are still fresh.
• 13:45
  [SPEAKER_04]: And she had like, there's no way you can come up with ballet and be like normal when it comes to body image and shit like that.
• 13:54
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's crazy that two years out of ballet is still fresh.
• 13:58
  [SPEAKER_02]: Three years is a long time though.
• 14:00
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, but that shit is deep.
• 14:01
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, you know, especially that's like one of those things that you start when you're really young.
• 14:05
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 14:06
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 14:06
  [SPEAKER_04]: Exactly.
• 14:07
  [SPEAKER_04]: And she was, you know, at this retreat, you're kind of like having conversations and talking about life the whole time.
• 14:14
  [SPEAKER_04]: And once I shared about the fact that one of the reasons I was at this retreat is because I wanted to like celebrate food with all these women and like also just release this anxiety and sort of like
• 14:27
  [SPEAKER_04]: bad relationship that I've had with food for so long, you know, and I wanted to be in a place where that is celebrated by other women all together.
• 14:35
  [SPEAKER_04]: And when I said that, and I said my belly background, she like came to me anyway, and we ended up having so many like good conversations about.
• 14:42
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, because she also, except, like, I had stopped dancing for way longer than her.
• 14:48
  [SPEAKER_04]: And she was just asking me, like, I won't point, she asked me, you know, how are you with the body stuff?
• 14:55
  [SPEAKER_04]: Like, is that something that you're still struggling with?
• 14:59
  [SPEAKER_04]: Because it was something that I mentioned, like, when I was saying, why I'm there, I didn't say that's like something I'm struggling with.
• 15:05
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's more like, I want to celebrate the freedom I have from that.
• 15:08
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's what I'm being trying to get you to do.
• 15:11
  [SPEAKER_04]: And it wasn't until I was talking to her that I was really, because she was blatantly asking me, like, how did you get to where you are?
• 15:23
  [SPEAKER_04]: And the craziest thing is like, it wasn't until that moment when I was talking to her that I realized how far I have come, how far I have grown from where I was.
• 15:35
  [SPEAKER_04]: from how hard and how difficult my relationship with my body and like the skin that I live in has really hard on yourself.
• 15:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I used to hate hearing you just talk about yourself in that way.
• 15:48
  [SPEAKER_04]: But it's like ingrained in my brain that you have to do so much unlearning.
• 15:54
  [SPEAKER_04]: And the one thing that the reason why I wanted to bring like, yoning to this conversation is because when I was talking to her, I also, it made me reflect so much on like, what were the things that I actively did?
• 16:07
  [SPEAKER_04]: And I'm actively doing because in my opinion, if you're ever struggled with any of these types of mental things, is that the work is never over.
• 16:17
  [SPEAKER_04]: This is something that you're constantly going to have to sort of heal yourself from.
• 16:23
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's something that will come in and out of your mind.
• 16:25
  [SPEAKER_04]: When you're at the gym, when you look in the mirror, when you compare yourself to other people, like, I don't know if that will ever go away.
• 16:31
  [SPEAKER_04]: It hasn't for me.
• 16:32
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's still very much there.
• 16:34
  [SPEAKER_04]: The difference is I have accepted the reality that I'm in and I have learned to also love and believe that how I am is also beautiful.
• 16:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: Thank you.
• 16:46
  [SPEAKER_04]: And that is one hundred percent, I mean, maybe not a hundred percent, but a big part of that.
• 16:52
  [SPEAKER_04]: I attribute to you.
• 16:55
  [SPEAKER_04]: And to the fact that within our relationship, you have always supported me in this journey of loving how I look.
• 17:06
  [SPEAKER_04]: And it wasn't done always by just telling me I'm beautiful or telling me this or telling me that directly.
• 17:13
  [SPEAKER_04]: That's not like really what does it.
• 17:15
  [SPEAKER_04]: And I'm only where I feel like I don't look good.
• 17:17
  [SPEAKER_04]: You tell me I look good doesn't matter.
• 17:19
  [SPEAKER_04]: Doesn't do anything.
• 17:21
  [SPEAKER_04]: And when I was explaining to this girl, I realized there were very specific ways in which you did that that I think are interesting and I wanted to share.
• 17:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, I want to know which of us.
• 17:34
  [SPEAKER_04]: And one of the first, one of the things that like comes to mind is for me, one of my biggest insecurities has always been my legs.
• 17:42
  [SPEAKER_04]: I've always had bigger legs.
• 17:44
  [SPEAKER_04]: I never had skinny legs.
• 17:45
  [SPEAKER_04]: I've always kind of held onto weight on my thighs.
• 17:49
  [SPEAKER_04]: This was something that I've had since I was like a little kid.
• 17:52
  [SPEAKER_04]: is something that I was told like oh you're gonna your kid is gonna struggle with this that my mom my mom was told like oh your daughter's gonna struggle with this later in life um when I was like still dancing it was something that my mom was told like hey just make sure you watch out look what do you want her to do you know
• 18:12
  [SPEAKER_04]: And you know this about me, it's something that like I would get dressed and I would look myself in the mirror and I would like talk about my legs this and my legs that are like these pants like they fit my waist, but they're too tight on my legs or like they fit my legs, but they're too big on my waist.
• 18:27
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's just like everyone's proportions are so different.
• 18:29
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, and you're you're putting in the nice way.
• 18:32
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, right, right.
• 18:35
  [SPEAKER_04]: And one thing that I feel like helped me that you did is
• 18:41
  [SPEAKER_04]: And this might be weird.
• 18:43
  [SPEAKER_04]: But if let's say we were outside.
• 18:45
  [SPEAKER_04]: And if you're a girl listening to this, maybe you've done this too.
• 18:50
  [SPEAKER_04]: But we were, let's say like we were walking outside.
• 18:53
  [SPEAKER_04]: And you see like a girl walking by.
• 18:57
  [SPEAKER_04]: And I don't know why I do this.
• 19:00
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's probably stems from the same thing, but like I often look at different parts of this girl's body that I'm insecure about.
• 19:08
  [SPEAKER_01]: In your body.
• 19:09
  [SPEAKER_04]: In my body.
• 19:10
  [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, I feel like.
• 19:11
  [SPEAKER_04]: So it's like I always check out other women's legs.
• 19:14
  [SPEAKER_04]: Cause it's something I'm insecure about.
• 19:17
  [SPEAKER_04]: And especially if they have really pretty legs, which like, okay, what does that even mean?
• 19:22
  [SPEAKER_04]: But let's say for the sake of this conversation, like, they have, you know, slimmer legs.
• 19:28
  [SPEAKER_03]: Okay.
• 19:29
  [SPEAKER_04]: And I look at them with admiration.
• 19:32
  [SPEAKER_04]: And I feel like you've caught me, like, checking girls out that way.
• 19:35
  [SPEAKER_03]: Definitely have.
• 19:36
  [SPEAKER_04]: And you've even, like, called me out.
• 19:38
  [SPEAKER_04]: And it's a bit of stuff looking at her legs.
• 19:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 19:42
  [SPEAKER_04]: So that's one.
• 19:43
  [SPEAKER_04]: But then two,
• 19:46
  [SPEAKER_04]: there's been times where like we would also similarly be like on the street or like sitting in a park or something and they would be a girl like either running or walking or whatever and she has like nice
• 20:02
  [SPEAKER_04]: just full legs.
• 20:05
  [SPEAKER_04]: Legs that let's say are like similar to mine.
• 20:07
  [SPEAKER_04]: They're not like super, super, like slim or whatever.
• 20:10
  [SPEAKER_01]: They're just normal legs.
• 20:11
  [SPEAKER_04]: Normal legs.
• 20:13
  [SPEAKER_04]: You know, there's muscle, there's some fat, there's some life on those legs.
• 20:17
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yes.
• 20:19
  [SPEAKER_04]: And what Yoni's done is he would like let's say he sees that I'm like looking at this girl's legs.
• 20:26
  [SPEAKER_04]: He will specifically point out and say like that her legs are nice and you would like make a point saying it's like see like those legs are beautiful like you would make me in the moment.
• 20:40
  [SPEAKER_04]: Like, you would help me like relearn the fact that that look of a leg is also beautiful.
• 20:51
  [SPEAKER_04]: And it is.
• 20:51
  [SPEAKER_04]: When I saw it on these other girls, I was like, yeah, she looks fucking nice.
• 20:56
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, it is, and it's never not been nice.
• 20:59
  [SPEAKER_04]: But in my mind growing up, my legs were always my enemy.
• 21:04
  [SPEAKER_04]: I think it's big of a butt into your thighs.
• 21:06
  [SPEAKER_02]: I think it's because of the world that you come from, which is so strict, you know, like when I first met Alia,
• 21:13
  [SPEAKER_02]: I was, I wanted to know what your world was like.
• 21:16
  [SPEAKER_02]: So I found myself at home on YouTube, typing in like New York City, ballet, academy, international, something.
• 21:26
  [SPEAKER_02]: Like I would just, I just wanted to see the highest level of ballet or anything ballet.
• 21:31
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I just wanted to see the practice.
• 21:32
  [SPEAKER_02]: I just wanted to see the art behind it and understand it and see how they train and
• 21:37
  [SPEAKER_02]: and do things.
• 21:38
  [SPEAKER_02]: And that's like some of the most intense training I've seen.
• 21:44
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I'm an athlete, you know, I played basketball, soccer, my life.
• 21:48
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm familiar with work and now in sports.
• 21:52
  [SPEAKER_02]: Even though that's, I don't know if it's considered sports or not to me, values more like art, right?
• 21:57
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, but you have to but perform those are athletes Yeah, so and that's the crazy thing It's like you have to be so strong strong strong like that look like you're strong Yeah, and like when we met out here and whenever that was when we started working out like if we did abs workout Even still today her abs are way stronger than mine because that's what they that's like I feel like the core is like the main thing
• 22:22
  [SPEAKER_04]: If you don't have a core, you can do shit.
• 22:24
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 22:24
  [SPEAKER_02]: So, so you come from that world where everybody's like super skinny and you have to like not eat sometimes just to get you know better roles or whatever like that.
• 22:35
  [SPEAKER_02]: So then, but that's not a normal.
• 22:37
  [SPEAKER_04]: I know, but at the same time.
• 22:39
  [SPEAKER_02]: Hold on a second.
• 22:40
  [SPEAKER_02]: So now when you come into, okay, you stop dancing.
• 22:42
  [SPEAKER_02]: Now you're into just normal life.
• 22:44
  [SPEAKER_02]: People go to work, come back, work out, go to work hang out with friends, whatever, right?
• 22:50
  [SPEAKER_02]: People don't live their life like that and that's what I was I remember I always tried to like explain to you that the shit that you see here after this that's normal life Everything that's like before while you were dancing the super skinny shit It's like unless your body is naturally like that I'm now I'm also not saying there's anything wrong with that but like the mentality of having to be like that.
• 23:15
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I think
• 23:18
  [SPEAKER_02]: that was like the problem.
• 23:19
  [SPEAKER_02]: You thought that that was the only thing because you had to be accepted if you were skinny, right?
• 23:25
  [SPEAKER_02]: If you're dancing, the skinny area you are, I don't know, is that true?
• 23:30
  [SPEAKER_02]: Like, you gave more roles.
• 23:31
  [SPEAKER_02]: So now you kind of brought that acceptance thing into real life.
• 23:35
  [SPEAKER_02]: Like, oh, acceptance mean that that looks good.
• 23:39
  [SPEAKER_04]: I would say that it's also, I mean, yeah, you could say it's about acceptance, but I feel like for me, it ran so deep where like, I just, I just didn't find anything other than that type of body, beautiful.
• 23:55
  [SPEAKER_02]: Which is crazy.
• 23:56
  [SPEAKER_04]: But that's just like how my brain was wired.
• 23:59
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's not even like being accepted or not even knowing like like this is what people like normal people go to work and go to the gym and whatever.
• 24:06
  [SPEAKER_04]: I don't care what people are doing.
• 24:07
  [SPEAKER_04]: I care about the final product.
• 24:09
  [SPEAKER_04]: I care about what the look is like.
• 24:13
  [SPEAKER_04]: So for me, it's not like I need to like, oh, maybe they don't work out.
• 24:16
  [SPEAKER_04]: Maybe they're like that naturally.
• 24:17
  [SPEAKER_04]: I didn't care.
• 24:19
  [SPEAKER_04]: All I knew in my brain is that my legs are not nice and these legs are nice and that's it and game over.
• 24:29
  [SPEAKER_04]: That's how intense my brain was.
• 24:31
  [SPEAKER_04]: And also, I don't want to negate anyone's experience of that because that doesn't come just from being in the ballet world.
• 24:41
  [SPEAKER_04]: That also comes from being a woman today.
• 24:44
  [SPEAKER_04]: Because just because you're not dancing ballet doesn't mean that you don't see models on the runway, models in the media, influencers, content creators, and different types of bodies and shapes and stuff.
• 24:57
  [SPEAKER_04]: And most of the time, it's the slim ones that get recognized the most.
• 25:05
  [SPEAKER_04]: I would even watch the video recently that was talking about her on Pinterest.
• 25:08
  [SPEAKER_04]: If you actually look on your Pinterest board, everyone is a certain type of body.
• 25:15
  [SPEAKER_04]: So it's like when you're trying to get inspiration of like what to wear and like fashion stuff It's like also realize that like the person that's wearing this clothes that you think are really nice Is this even a body that's similar to yours?
• 25:27
  [SPEAKER_04]: Because then you came and get mad that it doesn't look the same on you and that's something that I have to learn as well You know, but I just wanted to like say that Your partner
• 25:42
  [SPEAKER_04]: I think should help you in this journey.
• 25:48
  [SPEAKER_04]: And the way that they help you is, I think that the way that you did it, like really helped me, you taught me over and over and over again.
• 25:59
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's possible for this type of body to be beautiful and this type of body to be beautiful.
• 26:05
  [SPEAKER_04]: One different from the other.
• 26:07
  [SPEAKER_04]: But it's not like only one body can be beautiful.
• 26:12
  [SPEAKER_04]: But I don't know it was something that I feel like over the years You really helped me like relearn and and and now Like I truly feel like I am living this versus before I felt like I was kind of pretending to accept or I was like pretending to Believe that one is beautiful even though I was like now, but I still like that other shit
• 26:38
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I remember my mom was like, the moment she met you or whenever we went out to eat somewhere, you had shorts or something.
• 26:46
  [SPEAKER_02]: She was like, Alia has such nice legs.
• 26:51
  [SPEAKER_02]: Such beautiful legs and also it's, I don't know.
• 26:55
  [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know what it is about.
• 26:58
  [SPEAKER_02]: I think it's
• 27:03
  [SPEAKER_02]: except if you hear someone and you naturally have skinny legs or if you have thicker legs, whatever, I think being confident in whatever body you're in is like the number one thing.
• 27:17
  [SPEAKER_02]: So we're not even saying that the skinny legs are not nice.
• 27:21
  [SPEAKER_02]: No.
• 27:21
  [SPEAKER_02]: You know, or the thick legs are not because that's that's one thing that you can't do anything about is height and maybe like type of legs that you have.
• 27:33
  [SPEAKER_02]: So you're either gonna like accept it and just only and be like, you know what?
• 27:39
  [SPEAKER_02]: This is me and I can still
• 27:43
  [SPEAKER_02]: dress how I want to have a nice style and especially if you have like a platform and people follow you and people you know look at you as like I don't know like a fashion inspiration whatever that you can be the person to inspire so many other people with the same body type yeah but you have no idea because you so you were so fuck fixated on well I just never understand how to have nice legs I don't have nice legs instead of being like you know I can't change this and I do have nice legs and this is why yeah
• 28:12
  [SPEAKER_04]: Being able to say, I do have nice legs.
• 28:15
  [SPEAKER_04]: I would say wasn't truthfully until this summer.
• 28:21
  [SPEAKER_04]: That is seven years.
• 28:23
  [SPEAKER_02]: I feel like last summer when you were those big.
• 28:26
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, but those pants were still big, right?
• 28:28
  [SPEAKER_02]: No, no, no, no, but I'm talking about like the the jeans shorts.
• 28:31
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, but those jeans shorts were huge.
• 28:32
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, they're still pretty big.
• 28:34
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 28:35
  [SPEAKER_04]: You know, it was like my entry point.
• 28:37
  [SPEAKER_04]: Even then, like I was, I was doubtful.
• 28:40
  [SPEAKER_04]: But that also, even that, that was six years after breaking free from the, that world of ballet, six years.
• 28:50
  [SPEAKER_04]: And I was just now what I'm saying is like, this was internal work that I have to, I have had to process through also mind you in front of a camera for the last five.
• 28:59
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, you know, and what I wanted to say is that it wasn't until this summer that I've realized like my brain has actually rewired like I don't even know how it's possible.
• 29:12
  [SPEAKER_04]: And not to be like, oh yeah, like I have nice legs now because these legs that have now are the same legs that I had.
• 29:19
  [SPEAKER_04]: Nothing's changed.
• 29:20
  [SPEAKER_04]: I didn't do a specific type of workout.
• 29:23
  [SPEAKER_04]: I didn't go to this specific Pilates class.
• 29:26
  [SPEAKER_04]: I literally, my weight, my body composition, like most of the shit is the same.
• 29:32
  [SPEAKER_04]: I haven't done no crazy workouts.
• 29:34
  [SPEAKER_04]: But somehow,
• 29:36
  [SPEAKER_04]: I like see my legs in a video, in the mirror, in a photo, in a photo you take of me, in another situation, whatever.
• 29:44
  [SPEAKER_04]: And I'm just like, damn, my legs are nice.
• 29:46
  [SPEAKER_04]: But like, are there the same legs that I've had my entire life?
• 29:50
  [SPEAKER_04]: And I've never once believed that until now.
• 29:53
  [SPEAKER_04]: If anything, I've always believed the opposite.
• 29:57
  [SPEAKER_04]: I've always wanted to hide them.
• 29:58
  [SPEAKER_04]: I was the person that would wear giant ass sweatpants in the summertime.
• 30:02
  [SPEAKER_04]: That's how insecure I was.
• 30:03
  [SPEAKER_02]: I know.
• 30:04
  [SPEAKER_02]: Like we'll go out somewhere and I'm just like, babe, why don't we have a long pants?
• 30:09
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's eighty-nine degrees outside.
• 30:11
  [SPEAKER_04]: No, literally I would, it's, it's,
• 30:14
  [SPEAKER_02]: But that's a real thing for a lot of people, and I'm sure this is not even like, you can, you just have to, I mean, I mean, you shouldn't go through it.
• 30:24
  [SPEAKER_02]: I wanted to give like a piece of advice, but I feel like it's not my place, too, because I'm not in that position that I went through it.
• 30:31
  [SPEAKER_02]: So I feel like, what would you say to someone who wears long sleeves when it's really hot out because they insecure?
• 30:39
  [SPEAKER_02]: Like, do you... How about their arms?
• 30:41
  [SPEAKER_02]: No, it's so long sleeves.
• 30:45
  [SPEAKER_04]: I mean, I used to do that too.
• 30:46
  [SPEAKER_04]: I would, I remember specifically, I would wear out, this was when I was in Canada.
• 30:50
  [SPEAKER_04]: So I was still in the ballet shit.
• 30:52
  [SPEAKER_04]: And I remember, I bought my cousin bought me this like Lulu Lemon, like, like, duh.
• 31:01
  [SPEAKER_04]: sweatshirt like zip-up sweatshirt and it was this specific one that I had like the entire town was in Canada and I remember I got so excited because everyone had Lulu Lemon but it was too expensive for my parents to buy like while I was in school and then she bought me like for Christmas this Lulu Lemon sweater I felt so excited it was like a brand you know like designer yeah and what's crazy is then I remember somebody like
• 31:27
  [SPEAKER_04]: someone also in my family in Canada was like Thanksgiving or like I don't know what it was that I was wearing it, but I was wearing inside.
• 31:37
  [SPEAKER_04]: And it was hot.
• 31:38
  [SPEAKER_04]: Like I was wearing the zip-up, but I was in the house.
• 31:41
  [SPEAKER_04]: And everybody else was like in their t-shirt or whatever, because it's pulled outside.
• 31:45
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's a like November or October or whatever.
• 31:48
  [SPEAKER_03]: But it was hot inside.
• 31:49
  [SPEAKER_04]: But it was hot inside.
• 31:51
  [SPEAKER_04]: And I remember like the adults kept asking me like, why am I wearing this hot ass sweatshirt?
• 31:57
  [SPEAKER_02]: Because it's little, little lemon.
• 31:59
  [SPEAKER_04]: No, and the thing is,
• 32:01
  [SPEAKER_04]: I still remember in my little brain at the time that I was like, I don't know, fourteen or something.
• 32:06
  [SPEAKER_04]: That I was, I just was like, no, I don't want any, I felt like insecure.
• 32:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: About what?
• 32:13
  [SPEAKER_04]: About my body.
• 32:14
  [SPEAKER_04]: At thirteen or fourteen.
• 32:16
  [SPEAKER_04]: Around my family, I wasn't even like in ballet class or anything like that.
• 32:20
  [SPEAKER_04]: And I would literally wear shit to like be hot to like hide my body.
• 32:25
  [SPEAKER_04]: Like it's crazy.
• 32:28
  [SPEAKER_04]: And I just want to say how grateful I am for you to have been here and to have helped me in all those little ways.
• 32:37
  [SPEAKER_04]: From, yeah, telling me that I'm beautiful or telling me that you liked this outfit or that I should wear these shorts or that, like, my legs look good, but also in the other ways too.
• 32:48
  [SPEAKER_04]: There's many other moments that I can't, I can't remember.
• 32:52
  [SPEAKER_04]: of just like in real life scenarios where you see my little brain like thinking I know exactly because you know me so well at this point and you see the wheels turning of like me calculating like oh, her legs are like nice and then mine aren't and hers are in blah blah and like that's all happening in my brain and you just
• 33:12
  [SPEAKER_04]: Cut that thread and you're just like, her legs can be beautiful and your legs can be beautiful.
• 33:16
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 33:17
  [SPEAKER_02]: Then it's true.
• 33:18
  [SPEAKER_02]: I truly believed that and it wasn't.
• 33:20
  [SPEAKER_02]: I was doing it so naturally.
• 33:21
  [SPEAKER_02]: It wasn't like, oh, I'm my helper through this shit.
• 33:24
  [SPEAKER_02]: I just wanted you to really understand.
• 33:26
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 33:27
  [SPEAKER_02]: That the way we're thinking before it was really wrong and unhealthy and just, you know, talking to being nice, being kind to yourself is very important.
• 33:40
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 33:41
  [SPEAKER_02]: Like, if you don't like how you look, like looking in the mirror and talking, I'm not saying you were doing that, but it's, you should never talk down or like think or say, like talk to yourself not in a nice way.
• 33:55
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, I do that.
• 33:57
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm this or like, I look like this and whatever, it's just like, that's so unhealthy.
• 34:03
  [SPEAKER_04]: But it was, it was a level of, I don't know, maybe also emotional maturity.
• 34:07
  [SPEAKER_02]: But you knew it was so specific to because it's like you just came into the quote unquote real world where how you look is
• 34:18
  [SPEAKER_02]: people want to have your like I remember like there was some comments up people will be oh alia your body so nice oh I love and you're just on the opposite like I don't know what they're talking about yeah that's it like you post like fake pics or like maybe if it's like I would like work out in a video or something yeah you know and and thinking maybe like I want to improve this or whatever and then people are being like are like I want to have the body that you have
• 34:44
  [SPEAKER_04]: know it.
• 34:45
  [SPEAKER_04]: That's how much the opposite of the spectrum like you were because you came from that extreme and this is not at all me saying like yeah look at my legs like somewhere shorts like I'm just I feel like it's important to share where I've ended up because I know when I was having that conversation with that girl at the retreat what did you tell her her hearing me explain basically what I just said now
• 35:11
  [SPEAKER_04]: And there was many other things too when it comes to like I don't want to get into specifics but when it comes to like the different like food things and like thinking about food in a certain way and um
• 35:25
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, I don't know.
• 35:27
  [SPEAKER_04]: I remember when I told her, I really left an impression on her when I was explaining how you us being together and being in a relationship with you has helped me so much in the ways in which you have helped me recognize the beauty in other people that other times, I would be like, not.
• 35:49
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 35:52
  [SPEAKER_04]: and just recognizing like the beauty in like a fuller leg and like a bigger butt and like a strong girl more like a more curvy girl or curvy her body too like yeah and also i think culturally like my culture and where came from that is um
• 36:13
  [SPEAKER_02]: I guess because each country or culture, I guess they have their beauty standards.
• 36:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 36:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 36:18
  [SPEAKER_02]: That's normal.
• 36:18
  [SPEAKER_02]: So I feel like an African culture, like a more like curve your body or full of legs or whatever.
• 36:25
  [SPEAKER_02]: That's
• 36:26
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's uh, that's beautiful.
• 36:28
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, that's beautiful.
• 36:29
  [SPEAKER_02]: Like if you're like super skinny like people will be like damn girl like we we got to eat we got to you know, it's like let's and I don't I don't know like I'm not trying to I don't know if this is like insensitive or not you know what I mean, but I'm just saying like in certain countries that is no, why is it insensitive?
• 36:51
  [SPEAKER_02]: No, I don't know, because it's like someone who might be like skinnier and listen to this.
• 36:56
  [SPEAKER_02]: I don't want them to feel that that's not beautiful because obviously.
• 36:59
  [SPEAKER_04]: No, but you're saying like every culture is different.
• 37:03
  [SPEAKER_04]: That's what you're saying.
• 37:03
  [SPEAKER_04]: The same way like now in the US, because I feel like even our friend here, it's like both.
• 37:09
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's like there is a lot.
• 37:10
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's both, but at the same time it's still a bit specific.
• 37:13
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's more the tall and skinny that gets praised by everybody.
• 37:16
  [SPEAKER_04]: Well, that, but then there's also like
• 37:19
  [SPEAKER_04]: You can be like, petite, small waist, big butt, but small legs, but small this.
• 37:25
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's like very, like, so complex.
• 37:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: So complex.
• 37:27
  [SPEAKER_04]: So specific.
• 37:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 37:29
  [SPEAKER_04]: And it's like, bro, bodies are not like that, especially like women's bodies fluctuate in shape so much.
• 37:34
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's just why like women's clothing.
• 37:37
  [SPEAKER_04]: I feel like it's so.
• 37:38
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's difficult.
• 37:39
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's not difficult.
• 37:40
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's not, it also just like finding your style.
• 37:43
  [SPEAKER_02]: Let's say you found your style, but like the clothes.
• 37:48
  [SPEAKER_02]: that people make just don't don't fit you the way you want.
• 37:51
  [SPEAKER_04]: That's why I always think like you can always fix something and always tell your things it's annoying because why do I have to pay more money to make something fit me because clothes are just made for everybody else.
• 38:07
  [SPEAKER_02]: What do you feel about brands who make one size only?
• 38:09
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, that's stupid.
• 38:12
  [SPEAKER_02]: That's kind of crazy that they do that.
• 38:15
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's like one size.
• 38:16
  [SPEAKER_02]: So you clearly say that this is.
• 38:21
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's almost like we only want tall girls to wear our brand.
• 38:24
  [SPEAKER_02]: That's it.
• 38:25
  [SPEAKER_02]: If you represent our clothes, you need to be that's kind of crazy.
• 38:30
  [SPEAKER_04]: What's the one brand?
• 38:31
  [SPEAKER_04]: Brandy Melville.
• 38:32
  [SPEAKER_02]: Brandy Melville.
• 38:33
  [SPEAKER_02]: They do have night shit.
• 38:34
  [SPEAKER_04]: I mean, I'm lucky that their shirts do fit me right.
• 38:39
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, no, there are zip-up hoodies are really nice, but anyways, the fact that they're t-shirts and they're tank tops and stuff fit me, but then they're zip-up crunex and there's zip-up hoodies and stuff fit you.
• 38:55
  [SPEAKER_04]: How does that make any sense?
• 38:57
  [SPEAKER_04]: If it's one size fits all.
• 38:59
  [SPEAKER_02]: No, no, the zip-up hoodies, I can wear them, but the fake I would like them to be a little looser.
• 39:05
  [SPEAKER_04]: Okay.
• 39:06
  [SPEAKER_02]: But I can wear, exactly my point.
• 39:09
  [SPEAKER_04]: If you work, anyways, I was gonna say, if you work out brand email, you'll... No, actually, also if you work out brand email, you have to look a certain way.
• 39:20
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's known.
• 39:21
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's like been a thing that people are always talking about, yeah.
• 39:25
  [SPEAKER_02]: I mean, hey, that's how they want to run their brand.
• 39:28
  [SPEAKER_04]: And fucked up.
• 39:29
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, because you're excluding a lot of people who... It's like why?
• 39:33
  [SPEAKER_04]: You and yourself are losing business.
• 39:36
  [SPEAKER_01]: I know, right?
• 39:36
  [SPEAKER_01]: Because a lot more people
• 39:38
  [SPEAKER_04]: would be able to fit in your clothes.
• 39:39
  [SPEAKER_01]: But I feel like maybe you just less work, like we just make one size.
• 39:43
  [SPEAKER_01]: Maybe it sounds like five hundred.
• 39:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: Keep it simple.
• 39:45
  [SPEAKER_04]: I guess.
• 39:46
  [SPEAKER_01]: You know.
• 39:47
  [SPEAKER_04]: But that's it you guys.
• 39:49
  [SPEAKER_04]: I know I kind of took over the episode a little bit.
• 39:51
  [SPEAKER_04]: I just really wanted to.
• 39:52
  [SPEAKER_04]: I wanted to share that and I wanted to just speak on how.
• 39:56
  [SPEAKER_04]: How much of an impact I feel like.
• 39:58
  [SPEAKER_04]: Being with you has done on this journey because if I would have let's say been single this entire time after ballet.
• 40:06
  [SPEAKER_04]: after ballet and then it been like single but relationship here and there.
• 40:10
  [SPEAKER_04]: I don't know if I would have landed the way like where I am now.
• 40:14
  [SPEAKER_04]: Definitely not.
• 40:15
  [SPEAKER_04]: I can tell you that one hundred percent definitely not.
• 40:18
  [SPEAKER_04]: I'll still be like maybe four years back.
• 40:22
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, well, I'm really proud of you and I'm so happy to see you here because I I hated going through the process.
• 40:32
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm not even saying it's not like I need patience because it wasn't about me.
• 40:38
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, but you did because there were times where it's like we would have to leave to go somewhere and I'm having a fucking like
• 40:46
  [SPEAKER_04]: Not panic attack more like anger attack that I can't like nothing fits nothing looks I remember hot I can't like I'm sweating I can't wear anything I remember going to class and be like okay what do we have this shirt looks nice and you know what's funny you're receptive to like my
• 41:07
  [SPEAKER_02]: Because sometimes you need someone to choose your outfit.
• 41:09
  [SPEAKER_02]: Like, I would be like, where this, these pants.
• 41:12
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I have like, I will say, I don't have like, bad taste in like, what you could wear.
• 41:16
  [SPEAKER_02]: Like the options.
• 41:18
  [SPEAKER_04]: No, no, of course.
• 41:18
  [SPEAKER_02]: Right.
• 41:19
  [SPEAKER_02]: So, but yeah, um, yeah, you're a twenty six.
• 41:22
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm part of you.
• 41:23
  [SPEAKER_02]: You made it to the other side.
• 41:24
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 41:25
  [SPEAKER_04]: And that doesn't mean, because I also think there's something worth noting that like, that doesn't mean that because that there aren't things about my body that like, I don't like.
• 41:38
  [SPEAKER_04]: Or that I'm like, oh, I wish this was different.
• 41:41
  [SPEAKER_04]: Or I think it's okay.
• 41:43
  [SPEAKER_02]: But that's everybody.
• 41:44
  [SPEAKER_02]: Everybody has nobody's perfect.
• 41:46
  [SPEAKER_02]: That's where I even phrase comes from.
• 41:48
  [SPEAKER_02]: There's every single person is like, what's perfect?
• 41:53
  [SPEAKER_02]: For me, in my life, I just accepted to accept how I am.
• 42:01
  [SPEAKER_02]: And that is it.
• 42:02
  [SPEAKER_02]: Like, I don't, I've had a very different journey.
• 42:08
  [SPEAKER_04]: as far as like my body, but it's um, yeah, like you'd never really dealt with somebody criticizing you or your worth or or not giving you something.
• 42:19
  [SPEAKER_04]: If anything, because you were playing basketball and you were tall, like you already could make the team.
• 42:27
  [SPEAKER_02]: Right, but even with basketball, too, like I'm tall in just like average people, but basketball, I'm like a, I'm not a tall player.
• 42:34
  [SPEAKER_04]: Okay, I mean, yeah.
• 42:36
  [SPEAKER_02]: So yeah, guys.
• 42:38
  [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know.
• 42:39
  [SPEAKER_02]: I want to I want to say something to kind of close it out.
• 42:43
  [SPEAKER_04]: Well, I wanted to say that just like last thing that you don't have to but I think it's also okay to like work out.
• 42:52
  [SPEAKER_04]: And because there's this thing too where you can go into the other extreme where your body positivity on a hundred where you shouldn't want to change anything about yourself and you shouldn't want to lose weight or lose body fat or gain muscle if you want to.
• 43:11
  [SPEAKER_04]: That you shouldn't have to do any of that and I don't agree with that.
• 43:15
  [SPEAKER_04]: and one because I think women need to lift weights and need to go to the gym and do actual weight lifting workouts because I see my grandma's now and I see my mom and my aunt now and I'm seeing them two generations of how their bodies have changed, how they talk about their bodies and also the different health issues that have come up
• 43:43
  [SPEAKER_04]: And I'm sorry, but in my situation, they could have been way better if not avoided if when they were my age and even later in their thirties would have worked out and would have lifted weights and would have have muscles on their bodies and have strong bones and that's it.
• 44:05
  [SPEAKER_02]: I feel like it's also just better for your life span to, of course, to play a part.
• 44:10
  [SPEAKER_04]: You know, like one of the number ones reasons why elderly people, like not to be grim, but like pass away is because of false.
• 44:20
  [SPEAKER_04]: They fall.
• 44:21
  [SPEAKER_04]: They fall and they hurt themselves.
• 44:22
  [SPEAKER_04]: Why do they fall because their bones are fragile?
• 44:25
  [SPEAKER_04]: Why are they bones fragile because they didn't have the muscle and the muscular
• 44:29
  [SPEAKER_04]: to withhold their, like, you can, you can look all the shit up.
• 44:34
  [SPEAKER_04]: I'm saying is as women, we've always been told to like, do the women's workouts and the, the things like that.
• 44:40
  [SPEAKER_04]: And I'm like, I'm such a big advocate to just like, get women in the gym to lift weights not to go crazy into like a gym body.
• 44:49
  [SPEAKER_04]: That's what I'm saying.
• 44:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, if you want to be a gym bad or if you are a gym bad person, shout out to you.
• 44:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, I do have shit.
• 44:55
  [SPEAKER_04]: I'm just saying I know there's a lot of women that are like intimidated by the gym for several reasons.
• 44:59
  [SPEAKER_04]: Wine is because they don't want to get bulky, which is false.
• 45:01
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's not possible.
• 45:02
  [SPEAKER_04]: You have to work really, really fucking hard to become bulky.
• 45:05
  [SPEAKER_04]: But then, too, the gym is more like a male dominated scene, whatever.
• 45:10
  [SPEAKER_04]: Well, it's kind of shifting.
• 45:11
  [SPEAKER_04]: There's a lot more women in the gym nowadays.
• 45:14
  [SPEAKER_04]: And also, like, you, like, who cares?
• 45:17
  [SPEAKER_04]: Like, go in the gym and do your workout, watch videos, learn proper form, and increase your weight.
• 45:23
  [SPEAKER_04]: And over time, like, you're going to get strong.
• 45:24
  [SPEAKER_04]: And being strong is fucking bad ass.
• 45:27
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, it's really attractive.
• 45:29
  [SPEAKER_02]: Like it is and it's something that I told the story last time we talked about the gym, but like I was at the gym the last
• 45:41
  [SPEAKER_02]: It was a last shit that I had to membership.
• 45:43
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 45:44
  [SPEAKER_04]: Oh, no.
• 45:44
  [SPEAKER_04]: Like, yeah, I guess.
• 45:45
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, before.
• 45:46
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I saw this lady and she was doing pull-ups like it was nothing.
• 45:50
  [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, I know.
• 45:50
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's actually what you're talking about.
• 45:52
  [SPEAKER_02]: And she just gets off and like, guys were looking at her like.
• 45:56
  [SPEAKER_04]: She was doing pull-ups with the weight.
• 45:57
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, with the weight too.
• 46:01
  [SPEAKER_02]: So I just think it's super dope too.
• 46:03
  [SPEAKER_02]: And also, if you listen to this and you've been struggling with the gym and you want to get back into it.
• 46:07
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I'm not even saying that I'm on my gym, shit, one hundred percent all the time.
• 46:12
  [SPEAKER_02]: Actually, this is the first couple weeks now that I'm been in a gym consistently and very proud of myself.
• 46:16
  [SPEAKER_04]: Good job.
• 46:17
  [SPEAKER_02]: But if you listen to this and you want to go to the gym, honestly, I feel like tomorrow, you could go and start very, just like, wait, you don't have to go crazy from the beginning.
• 46:27
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, like I did, and now I'm so sore.
• 46:29
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, and one day at a time, do Monday, Tuesday, I mean, Monday, Wednesday, Friday, because it's so important.
• 46:37
  [SPEAKER_02]: I know like the gym is, is I think that everybody wants to go to a day and they're like, oh, I don't know.
• 46:41
  [SPEAKER_04]: And it's like, Jim doesn't have to be this whole thing you see online with like the gym out.
• 46:46
  [SPEAKER_02]: You know what I think?
• 46:47
  [SPEAKER_02]: A big thing is, is that, did I interrupt you?
• 46:50
  [SPEAKER_04]: No, I did.
• 46:51
  [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, there are some people who want to go to the gym.
• 46:55
  [SPEAKER_02]: If they don't have like a private gym in their building, they have to sign up to go to the local gym or whatever, right?
• 47:00
  [SPEAKER_02]: But then because it's their first day, let's say you've never been to the gym.
• 47:04
  [SPEAKER_02]: Let's say it's something that's completely new to you, but you're very intimidated to go to the gym.
• 47:08
  [SPEAKER_02]: That's a real thing, like you feel anxious.
• 47:11
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, actually that's one thing and work out around other people because I feel like I don't know if I have proper form You always thinking that everybody at the gym already knows what they're doing and here I am on my day one and you don't want to be judged and and all those things are in your head because when you're in the gym nobody cares everybody's worried about how they look you see all these mirrors around the gym everybody's looking at themselves true
• 47:39
  [SPEAKER_02]: So getting a gym and this gets work and, you know, I'm motivating myself.
• 47:44
  [SPEAKER_04]: If you don't know, if you don't know what to do, like guys today, you can find, you can literally ask Chad GPT, give me a workout.
• 47:53
  [SPEAKER_04]: Literally.
• 47:54
  [SPEAKER_04]: actually should try that.
• 47:55
  [SPEAKER_04]: See what they give me.
• 47:56
  [SPEAKER_04]: But no, you can do that.
• 47:58
  [SPEAKER_04]: You can like ask for videos.
• 48:00
  [SPEAKER_04]: You can also just like go on Instagram, find like a workout girl that you like that just something about her just resonates with you and just like do the workouts that they show you.
• 48:11
  [SPEAKER_04]: You know, and then you also, you can see how they do it.
• 48:14
  [SPEAKER_04]: Do lighter start with light increase your weight.
• 48:17
  [SPEAKER_04]: The weight should be a weight where you feel like there's effort.
• 48:20
  [SPEAKER_04]: You shouldn't do something and be bored.
• 48:22
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, like, don't complete a set and feel like you didn't do anything, but you're proud of yourself, quote unquote, because you completed this.
• 48:29
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, like you can push yourself probably harder than you are.
• 48:33
  [SPEAKER_02]: Because if you go to a gym and everything is so easy, it's easy to complete a workout.
• 48:36
  [SPEAKER_04]: And that's really easy, but it's kind of like, no, it's not like me.
• 48:40
  [SPEAKER_02]: If I do a whole workout with five pounds,
• 48:43
  [SPEAKER_02]: Okay, you can't compare yourself to... No, I'm just giving that for an example, like, because I know it's the thing that I've done in the past, too.
• 48:51
  [SPEAKER_02]: I wasn't in the gym, I hated the gym, and I just wanted to get through the workout that I had.
• 48:56
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
• 48:57
  [SPEAKER_02]: I would do super light on all the exercises and be done with the workout, be like, yeah, worked out today.
• 49:01
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 49:02
  [SPEAKER_04]: And with a women in general too, they tend to like go for the lighter weights because one, they underestimate themselves.
• 49:09
  [SPEAKER_04]: And then too, they don't want to go too heavy because they're like, oh, this is like too much.
• 49:13
  [SPEAKER_04]: I'm going to get bulky.
• 49:14
  [SPEAKER_04]: Now we got to tell you, girl, let me tell you, you should want to lift that heavy shit.
• 49:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: Talk to them.
• 49:23
  [SPEAKER_04]: You should want to increase your weight.
• 49:24
  [SPEAKER_04]: You want to break a sweat.
• 49:26
  [SPEAKER_04]: You want to be like,
• 49:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, you want to want that.
• 49:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 49:29
  [SPEAKER_04]: You want to look exactly like the bros next to you.
• 49:32
  [SPEAKER_04]: The gym bros that are in the gym doing their thing.
• 49:34
  [SPEAKER_04]: Look at them.
• 49:35
  [SPEAKER_04]: Look at like the level at which they do shit and see like how tired do they get, how exhausted do they get.
• 49:42
  [SPEAKER_04]: But I know for a fact in general, like just we tend to kind of like stay away from like the two heavy things because we think we shouldn't lift higher than this much.
• 49:55
  [SPEAKER_04]: Get that out of your head.
• 49:57
  [SPEAKER_04]: Because trust me, if you want it to like get bulky and if you want it to like get, you know, shredded, there's a lot of other stuff you gotta do.
• 50:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: You have to have more words.
• 50:07
  [SPEAKER_04]: So much protein, you have to wait.
• 50:10
  [SPEAKER_04]: Lift, hell, heavy because our muscles are not made to get like that anyways.
• 50:16
  [SPEAKER_04]: We don't have the testosterone to build our muscles to help with that anyways.
• 50:20
  [SPEAKER_04]: So don't worry about it.
• 50:22
  [SPEAKER_04]: Just be in the gym, lift those weights and increase that weight.
• 50:26
  [SPEAKER_02]: I just think it's healthy for you, for your relationship in the future, for your kids.
• 50:31
  [SPEAKER_02]: If you choose to have kids in the future, I feel like that's the thing that can maybe help you through the process to just stay in fit.
• 50:40
  [SPEAKER_02]: Even after giving birth.
• 50:43
  [SPEAKER_04]: Exactly.
• 50:43
  [SPEAKER_02]: Because you don't want to like get pregnant and then be like actually them getting a gym now.
• 50:47
  [SPEAKER_04]: Oh, yeah.
• 50:47
  [SPEAKER_04]: Your doctor's going to be like no, no girl.
• 50:50
  [SPEAKER_04]: So yeah, and if you don't know what I'm talking about when it comes to like why it's important to lift weights as women just literally Google it.
• 50:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: It will tell you it will tell you if you don't know what I've talked about just Google it.
• 51:02
  [SPEAKER_04]: I don't know seriously because it will tell you immediately.
• 51:05
  [SPEAKER_04]: Why is it important for women to lift weights?
• 51:08
  [SPEAKER_04]: I'm gonna end it on that guys.
• 51:10
  [SPEAKER_02]: Do you think that's some women just don't think it's important at all?
• 51:13
  [SPEAKER_04]: No, I think some women have it's so ingrained in their mind that like
• 51:17
  [SPEAKER_04]: the gym is not like it's going to make them too big and too bulky that they just stay away.
• 51:27
  [SPEAKER_04]: And they also just don't, they don't see strength as something that's important.
• 51:32
  [SPEAKER_04]: I think all women should be able to do five push-ups at least if and not ten.
• 51:39
  [SPEAKER_04]: The common girls
• 51:40
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I had I had one question and this the last thing I swear I wanted to ask you earlier is so you talked about how I've helped you in a way to get to get to get over how you thought about your body and so in an in this relationship specifically that's how you worked out for us But what would you say to to someone who's listening to this and their partner?
• 52:01
  [SPEAKER_02]: Is it maybe like is not doing that?
• 52:05
  [SPEAKER_02]: What what would you tell someone?
• 52:07
  [SPEAKER_02]: that doesn't help this because we live together also this most most at a time that this was happening.
• 52:13
  [SPEAKER_02]: So it was like a everyday thing that was like slowly getting.
• 52:16
  [SPEAKER_04]: I mean, not that we like literally talked about every day.
• 52:19
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
• 52:19
  [SPEAKER_02]: So to someone who doesn't have that support or maybe their partner just kind of like.
• 52:25
  [SPEAKER_02]: Doesn't really care that much because to me that was very important because if you feel good, I feel good.
• 52:29
  [SPEAKER_04]: My question is like how much of your struggle do you share with your partner?
• 52:33
  [SPEAKER_04]: Because that's one thing that because we always had a communication.
• 52:37
  [SPEAKER_02]: That is so true.
• 52:39
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's like I told you all the time when I was like feeling something up away from the beginning.
• 52:44
  [SPEAKER_04]: You always knew what was going through my mind, which is why you also knew when to say something.
• 52:51
  [SPEAKER_02]: So I can see how that can be difficult if you're in a relationship and then your partner just has no idea what you're going through whether it's like mentally about your physicality or whatever.
• 53:01
  [SPEAKER_02]: I feel like
• 53:02
  [SPEAKER_04]: You have to like, there's no way for them to like read your mind.
• 53:06
  [SPEAKER_04]: If you are having a shitty day because you don't feel confident in your outfit because you feel like this is too tight or this is too loose or whatever, but you never even tell your partner that and you're out, supposed to have fun with friends, but you're in a mood and you're irritated.
• 53:22
  [SPEAKER_04]: and your partner asks you what's wrong and you say like nothing and blah blah blah and then you get in a fight and whatever and it all stems from the fact that you just didn't feel good in your body that day.
• 53:33
  [SPEAKER_04]: That's it.
• 53:34
  [SPEAKER_04]: You need to talk about it.
• 53:36
  [SPEAKER_02]: all that stuff can be avoided just by simple conversation like if you don't feel it's a person yeah in your body right now and yeah exactly that's your person that's the person you you know want to be with for the rest of your life maybe or maybe it's just a phase I don't know but this is someone that you spending a lot of time with
• 53:55
  [SPEAKER_02]: I feel like it's so important to be open with those things, especially if I felt some type of way, you'd be the first person that I'll share this with.
• 54:04
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, because also, I feel like these are the types of things.
• 54:06
  [SPEAKER_02]: But there's a lot of relationships that people just don't, they don't even think that they don't know.
• 54:10
  [SPEAKER_02]: They just deal with it on their own.
• 54:13
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, I mean, I don't know, since from the beginning, we were always like the line of communication was so open.
• 54:21
  [SPEAKER_02]: Why was that like I feel like why did you just we just mastered it we got lucky I don't know but it wasn't the beginning it was never even not that
• 54:29
  [SPEAKER_04]: I mean, obviously at the beginning of our relationship, there were things, like, it was still the beginning of the relationship type of communication.
• 54:36
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yes, but you get to know, like, guess, like, what do they think?
• 54:39
  [SPEAKER_04]: Like, you know, what are we?
• 54:42
  [SPEAKER_04]: I'm talking about, we've been together for like a year, right?
• 54:45
  [SPEAKER_04]: Okay.
• 54:46
  [SPEAKER_04]: Moving together, like I'm talking, if you were, like, in a long-term relationship, like one year plus,
• 54:54
  [SPEAKER_04]: I just feel like you should be at the point where whatever is going on in your mind, you need to express that to your partner.
• 55:01
  [SPEAKER_04]: I'm not saying unloaded on them.
• 55:03
  [SPEAKER_04]: I'm not saying, put it on them for them to carry because I never did that.
• 55:09
  [SPEAKER_04]: But like I, I always just told you what was going on.
• 55:14
  [SPEAKER_04]: If I'm like feeling some type of wear, I'm not feeling good.
• 55:17
  [SPEAKER_04]: But I would tell you, like, I just really don't feel good in what I'm wearing right now.
• 55:21
  [SPEAKER_04]: Like I just don't feel confident.
• 55:23
  [SPEAKER_02]: But I would always, I mean, not always.
• 55:24
  [SPEAKER_02]: The times when you wouldn't tell me a lot of times, I would also just ask because sometimes I could just tell.
• 55:31
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm like, are you, are you good?
• 55:34
  [SPEAKER_02]: Like, how you feeling today?
• 55:35
  [SPEAKER_02]: Are you good?
• 55:36
  [SPEAKER_02]: I remember that the question is still still today.
• 55:38
  [SPEAKER_04]: Do you ask me the exact same way?
• 55:40
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm like, even if we're like working on your computer right there, or like, I'm maybe like, you're cooking.
• 55:45
  [SPEAKER_02]: I always, at least once a week, I come over to you.
• 55:49
  [SPEAKER_04]: I was gonna say at least once a day actually once a day yeah and I'm like are you good like what's the big thing on your mind today because we all have our minds are so complex we just know but the thing is like we have the we I don't know what it is that we just really know each other like so well where we pick up on everything like you know like I don't know it's just
• 56:13
  [SPEAKER_04]: So that we've gone to the point where like, even though we have the open lot of communication, there's oftentimes we're like, I don't even get to the point where I feel like I am ready to tell you what's on my mind.
• 56:24
  [SPEAKER_04]: You already know to ask me what's on my mind.
• 56:27
  [SPEAKER_04]: Because it's like, you pick up on different things from like behavior to posture to how you move through the day to a house, like, simple shit.
• 56:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know, when I'm not, when there's something in my mind.
• 56:38
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, it's, it's not in day, you know, but that's something that you just like, no, so deeply.
• 56:45
  [SPEAKER_04]: But if you're not there, like, and you, I don't know, I just feel like you need to, even though you shouldn't put the load on the person you're with, you need to share the load.
• 56:54
  [SPEAKER_04]: You shouldn't hold onto everything by yourself.
• 56:57
  [SPEAKER_04]: So if there's something that you're, the way that you would be talking to your partner if you're struggling with something at work or you're fighting with the friend.
• 57:05
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's like this type of thing should also be part of the conversation if it's something that's so real to you.
• 57:10
  [SPEAKER_02]: But I think it's also just so fun.
• 57:12
  [SPEAKER_02]: Fun.
• 57:12
  [SPEAKER_02]: I mean, just I know I come home and I can tell you anything that happened because we live in this life together.
• 57:19
  [SPEAKER_02]: Like there's nothing I just want to hold for myself.
• 57:23
  [SPEAKER_02]: Like I just want to tell you and I know that you only want the best for me.
• 57:26
  [SPEAKER_02]: You're not going to judge.
• 57:28
  [SPEAKER_02]: You're not going to like, it's just
• 57:30
  [SPEAKER_04]: And I remember also the beginning.
• 57:31
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I'm so grateful to have that because I always wanted that.
• 57:35
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 57:35
  [SPEAKER_02]: To come home and just be like, I can tell this person, anything.
• 57:38
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 57:39
  [SPEAKER_02]: Instead of being like, I want to tell them, biologists.
• 57:44
  [SPEAKER_02]: Or like, I want to text my girls about this.
• 57:45
  [SPEAKER_04]: They won't get it.
• 57:47
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, they won't get it.
• 57:48
  [SPEAKER_02]: Or like you talking to your girlfriends about how.
• 57:51
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I don't know.
• 57:52
  [SPEAKER_02]: He doesn't get it.
• 57:53
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 57:54
  [SPEAKER_02]: Or she doesn't get it.
• 57:55
  [SPEAKER_04]: But I also think it's fair to say that like, you didn't really get it at the beginning either.
• 57:58
  [SPEAKER_02]: Who are?
• 57:59
  [SPEAKER_04]: Like, I was trying to explain to you all the things that I felt like in my body and the things that I thought and like my thought process, but yeah, I didn't get it, but you didn't get it because you're like, I never experienced any of these things before.
• 58:11
  [SPEAKER_02]: I never experienced any of these things like that before, but then also true like he just didn't make sense.
• 58:15
  [SPEAKER_04]: I know, but it was so true to me that it was still my reality.
• 58:21
  [SPEAKER_04]: So even though you didn't understand, I feel like you still can't quite understand because you just never lived that experience.
• 58:31
  [SPEAKER_02]: I know, and when I say it true, and but when I say that it didn't make sense is because if you just zoom out,
• 58:38
  [SPEAKER_04]: I get what you mean, but what I was trying to say is that even though you didn't understand, you were still able to help because if you really want to, you can.
• 58:45
  [SPEAKER_04]: There are ways in which there's ways that you can help somebody, even though you haven't lived in their shoes or experienced their experience before.
• 58:55
  [SPEAKER_04]: There's a way that you can help somebody, and you can come up with solutions, you can work together, you can help them, and this is your person, or if you are going through this and you have a person, I believe that that should be your standard.
• 59:07
  [SPEAKER_04]: Not putting everything on your partner, but at the same time, they need to be able to help you in these types of hardships.
• 59:15
  [SPEAKER_02]: But how can someone, how can someone get to share that with them?
• 59:21
  [SPEAKER_02]: Like if the person can't read their mind.
• 59:24
  [SPEAKER_04]: But seeing how they react, like just, I don't know.
• 59:27
  [SPEAKER_02]: Like it's as simple as you say.
• 59:29
  [SPEAKER_04]: Can you remember, instances when I like told you, I don't know that I was like having like a bad body day or whatever?
• 59:40
  [SPEAKER_04]: I mean, it's always about... I don't know for me, it was always like when I was getting dressed.
• 59:44
  [SPEAKER_04]: That was a big thing.
• 59:46
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, it was a lot about how you're getting dressed and how certain clothes that you bought like red noon.
• 59:54
  [SPEAKER_02]: Why don't feel you the same way?
• 59:57
  [SPEAKER_02]: They fit the model on the website.
• 1:00:00
  [SPEAKER_04]: I mean, that or they just don't fit me as they should fit me.
• 1:00:03
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, and like why should I go to extra mile and tailor them and spend extra money because it's just not face shouldn't be like that.
• 1:00:09
  [SPEAKER_02]: Whatever.
• 1:00:10
  [SPEAKER_02]: But I mean, I don't know.
• 1:00:11
  [SPEAKER_02]: Of course, I can't remember, but there's been many over the years.
• 1:00:13
  [SPEAKER_02]: There's been so many times.
• 1:00:15
  [SPEAKER_04]: But that's also because I've always been so open.
• 1:00:17
  [SPEAKER_04]: So like something is wrong.
• 1:00:18
  [SPEAKER_04]: I just say whatever.
• 1:00:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 1:00:20
  [SPEAKER_04]: You know, like I just am processing it out loud with you.
• 1:00:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 1:00:24
  [SPEAKER_04]: So I think like you need to see you need to like
• 1:00:29
  [SPEAKER_04]: Like anything else in a relationship, you work through issues together.
• 1:00:33
  [SPEAKER_04]: Not just the issues that you both have that you share.
• 1:00:35
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's like, if that, if your partner is going through something like at work or with the friend or internally or with their family or anything like that, like they're gonna share with you.
• 1:00:48
  [SPEAKER_04]: And you're gonna talk about it and you're gonna help them.
• 1:00:50
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, just stronger together.
• 1:00:52
  [SPEAKER_02]: Obviously, two is better than one.
• 1:00:54
  [SPEAKER_02]: And we, I feel like that's something that really happened to us.
• 1:00:57
  [SPEAKER_02]: We both really,
• 1:00:59
  [SPEAKER_02]: Upgraded both of our lives because of both of us together.
• 1:01:02
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, one hundred percent.
• 1:01:05
  [SPEAKER_02]: So, you know, that note, I think it's time for dinner.
• 1:01:08
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, I agree.
• 1:01:10
  [SPEAKER_04]: We're gonna make some... What do we have?
• 1:01:13
  [SPEAKER_02]: You have, yo, I just want to say this real quick, it's for the past thirty days.
• 1:01:16
  [SPEAKER_02]: All you, has been killing it!
• 1:01:19
  [SPEAKER_04]: in the kitchen.
• 1:01:20
  [SPEAKER_04]: Okay, I mean, to be fair right now, I'm filming.
• 1:01:24
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's always when she's watching something.
• 1:01:25
  [SPEAKER_02]: I said this, but now I didn't say it on air, but when Elliot is watching something like a show and she's cooking, she is throwing it down.
• 1:01:34
  [SPEAKER_04]: I am chopping it up.
• 1:01:36
  [SPEAKER_02]: When she's making dinner or lunch, and she's not watching anything, is it just quick?
• 1:01:41
  [SPEAKER_04]: No, I'm literally like, it's quick.
• 1:01:43
  [SPEAKER_04]: Like, you know how you're saying, like, oh, let him cook?
• 1:01:45
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 1:01:46
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's like, oh, let her cook.
• 1:01:47
  [SPEAKER_04]: Really?
• 1:01:48
  [SPEAKER_04]: I don't know.
• 1:01:49
  [SPEAKER_04]: I just, I love food.
• 1:01:50
  [SPEAKER_04]: I love making, like, yummy shit.
• 1:01:53
  [SPEAKER_02]: And it's, it's so much passion.
• 1:01:56
  [SPEAKER_02]: Sometimes when you're making something, I just can't.
• 1:01:58
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's so much passion.
• 1:01:58
  [SPEAKER_04]: Like, I'm actually just having fun.
• 1:02:00
  [SPEAKER_02]: No, but like you experimenting too.
• 1:02:01
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, but it's like fun.
• 1:02:03
  [SPEAKER_04]: Like I guess.
• 1:02:03
  [SPEAKER_02]: So when you make these sauces real quick, when you make these sauces right, like with a mustard and then you add like the dressing.
• 1:02:09
  [SPEAKER_02]: Like how many how many times do you just make it up and how many times is that like a combination like a recipe?
• 1:02:18
  [SPEAKER_04]: No, it's never really like a recipe.
• 1:02:20
  [SPEAKER_04]: I would say.
• 1:02:22
  [SPEAKER_02]: You just know what goes well.
• 1:02:23
  [SPEAKER_04]: No, I'm like I've cooked for so long.
• 1:02:25
  [SPEAKER_04]: Like I know.
• 1:02:26
  [SPEAKER_04]: No, I just, there's like formulas.
• 1:02:29
  [SPEAKER_04]: that I just, you kind of reuse, but then you're like, let me experiment with this, let me experiment with, they're like, let me add this, this might be good, you know?
• 1:02:36
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's like I made a Caesar salad dressing the other day, but I added, like, these chopped up, like, sweet and spicy jalapenos that are, like, pickled, they're gonna get from Trader Joe's.
• 1:02:48
  [SPEAKER_04]: And that's what was insane.
• 1:02:50
  [SPEAKER_04]: And I put that as a dressing for a tuna salad.
• 1:02:54
  [SPEAKER_04]: So it was like a tuna salad with Caesar dressing.
• 1:02:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I love tuna.
• 1:02:57
  [SPEAKER_04]: It was crazy guys.
• 1:02:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: I am so lucky.
• 1:03:01
  [SPEAKER_04]: And but I'm just like, I don't know.
• 1:03:04
  [SPEAKER_04]: I just have fun with food.
• 1:03:05
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's truly like my art form.
• 1:03:07
  [SPEAKER_04]: I would say like my that the art form that is like for me because it's not really attached to work as much.
• 1:03:11
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 1:03:12
  [SPEAKER_04]: Even though I am currently filming a what I eat in a week video where I'm like sharing all the recipes.
• 1:03:17
  [SPEAKER_04]: So tonight for dinner if you want to know we are having steak.
• 1:03:22
  [SPEAKER_04]: on top of a romesco sauce with some potatoes, baked potatoes.
• 1:03:29
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's gonna be like nice crispy little baby potatoes and then a romesco sauce, if you don't know, is like in Spanish sauce that is made with roasted peppers and then you blend it up with a bunch of like spices and nuts and stuff and it becomes like kind of like a pepper hummus, but with nuts in it.
• 1:03:48
  [SPEAKER_04]: Like a pesto, like a pepper pesto.
• 1:03:52
  [SPEAKER_04]: And then that's gonna be at the bottom, and then you put like the steak on top.
• 1:03:55
  [SPEAKER_02]: Can I prep something?
• 1:03:57
  [SPEAKER_04]: No.
• 1:03:57
  [SPEAKER_04]: I'm good.
• 1:03:59
  [SPEAKER_04]: I'm good.
• 1:03:59
  [SPEAKER_04]: Like after this, we cooked here, and I'm gonna go cook over there.
• 1:04:03
  [SPEAKER_04]: I just gotta get in my, I'm gonna play my show.
• 1:04:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: What are you watching these days real quick?
• 1:04:08
  [SPEAKER_04]: Right now I'm watching Silo.
• 1:04:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: Silo.
• 1:04:11
  [SPEAKER_04]: Crazy.
• 1:04:11
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yes, I L-O.
• 1:04:13
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 1:04:14
  [SPEAKER_02]: What is that about again?
• 1:04:15
  [SPEAKER_02]: That's the world.
• 1:04:16
  [SPEAKER_04]: That's the world around you.
• 1:04:18
  [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, silo.
• 1:04:19
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm not sure.
• 1:04:19
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm not sure.
• 1:04:20
  [SPEAKER_04]: You know, I don't know if I want to watch that right now.
• 1:04:22
  [SPEAKER_04]: If you're going to watch something light that shows not light, that's for sure.
• 1:04:26
  [SPEAKER_04]: But love I like now we don't have that right now.
• 1:04:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: I don't like those shows.
• 1:04:32
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's okay.
• 1:04:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: Love I learned the batch there.
• 1:04:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: I feel like.
• 1:04:34
  [SPEAKER_04]: I don't like the bachelor.
• 1:04:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know.
• 1:04:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: If I'm watching something, let me think about something.
• 1:04:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: I want to watch something and just give my brains a go.
• 1:04:43
  [SPEAKER_04]: I get that.
• 1:04:44
  [SPEAKER_04]: That's why I read books.
• 1:04:47
  [SPEAKER_04]: But even the books I read are fiction.
• 1:04:49
  [SPEAKER_04]: Anyways, okay, bye guys.
• 1:04:51
  [SPEAKER_04]: Love you so much.
• 1:04:53
  [SPEAKER_02]: She made it to the end of the episode.
• 1:04:54
  [SPEAKER_02]: Please say, I feel like you should say, give us a word.
• 1:04:58
  [SPEAKER_04]: Please say, I mean, I don't know, comment what you thought about the topic.
• 1:05:04
  [SPEAKER_04]: I have no word that works for this episode.
• 1:05:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 1:05:08
  [SPEAKER_04]: Just let us know what you think.
• 1:05:10
  [SPEAKER_04]: Um, yeah.
• 1:05:12
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's about it.
• 1:05:13
  [SPEAKER_04]: We let's review if you have any yet.
• 1:05:15
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 1:05:16
  [SPEAKER_02]: Subscribe everywhere you can.
• 1:05:18
  [SPEAKER_02]: Subscribe to my YouTube channel channel.
• 1:05:20
  [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, yeah.
• 1:05:20
  [SPEAKER_04]: Reminder.
• 1:05:21
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 1:05:21
  [SPEAKER_02]: Reminder.
• 1:05:22
  [SPEAKER_02]: You should go watch all my videos right now.
• 1:05:24
  [SPEAKER_02]: And just don't watch without subscribing.
• 1:05:26
  [SPEAKER_02]: Okay.
• 1:05:26
  [SPEAKER_02]: Cause people be doing the interviews.
• 1:05:27
  [SPEAKER_02]: I used to do that shit for years.
• 1:05:29
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 1:05:29
  [SPEAKER_04]: Me too.
• 1:05:29
  [SPEAKER_04]: Actually.
• 1:05:30
  [SPEAKER_02]: I used to watch without subscribers.
• 1:05:33
  [SPEAKER_02]: I was like, what?
• 1:05:34
  [SPEAKER_02]: What is subscribe?
• 1:05:35
  [SPEAKER_04]: Well, not even that.
• 1:05:36
  [SPEAKER_04]: But like YouTube will just give you the videos from that creator.
• 1:05:40
  [SPEAKER_02]: But I will.
• 1:05:40
  [SPEAKER_04]: Even if you don't subscribe, like just cause you watched one video, they'll give you more.
• 1:05:43
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I used to do that now.
• 1:05:45
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's like, you know what I started to do, maybe you don't do it as though.
• 1:05:48
  [SPEAKER_02]: When I like a video, I actually hit the like button.
• 1:05:50
  [SPEAKER_04]: No, I also started doing that too.
• 1:05:51
  [SPEAKER_04]: I forget.
• 1:05:52
  [SPEAKER_02]: I will say though, I, I never really by commented.
• 1:05:57
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, actually I commented the other day on a video.
• 1:06:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: I was like, whoa, I'm never commentable for you.
• 1:06:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: It helps everybody.
• 1:06:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's great.
• 1:06:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, so yeah.
• 1:06:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: So.
• 1:06:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: Thanks.
• 1:06:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, bye.
• 1:06:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: We gotta go.
• 1:06:11
  [SPEAKER_04]: Bye.
• 1:06:16
  [UNKNOWN]: you.