Latest / CelinaSpookyBoo / I GOT A TEMU HALLOWEEN MYSTERY BOX
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: I want you to raise your hand if you have
- 0:01Speaker 1: ever been personally victimized by Timu! Timu! Me! What's up,
- 0:06Speaker 1: Boo Crew? Welcome! We've been here before, where I have
- 0:09Speaker 1: ordered a Timu mystery bag Halloween-themed! Okay, first item. It's
- 0:16Speaker 1: a box. I just broke something, I think. It's almost
- 0:21Speaker 1: Hallow's Eve! Oh. Oh! I thought it was something gross.
- 0:27Speaker 1: He's just a little crustacean with fingers. That's kind of
- 0:30Speaker 1: gross looking. It's a weak looking man. Oh my gosh,
- 0:35Speaker 1: they're his arms. Sorry, sir. Oh. Oh, disturbing. Wouldn't purchase
- 0:42Speaker 1: for myself. I get it though, Halloween. Did this cost
- 0:44Speaker 1: me almost $ 500? Yeah. But did I do it because
- 0:48Speaker 1: it was an experiment for you? Yeah. Wait, wait, don't look,
- 0:52Speaker 1: don't look, don't look. Look away. Okay. Oh! Looks like
- 0:57Speaker 1: one of those masks, but an aggressive version that you
- 1:00Speaker 1: wear when you go to those sex parties. I was
- 1:02Speaker 1: about to say, can you imagine if I tried to do...
- 1:04Speaker 1: It's a sticker! It's been demolished. Traffic lights. Am I right?
- 1:09Speaker 1: What do we got? You wanna play? Do you wanna
- 1:14Speaker 1: play a game? I'm gonna wear this in the winter.
- 1:20Speaker 1: Just throw everybody off. It's very toasty. Would I buy
- 1:23Speaker 1: that for myself? Honestly? Yeah, Edward Scissorhands. Oh, what is, oh.
- 1:31Speaker 1: I didn't opt for a Kinder Surprise. I'm not building anything.
- 1:35Speaker 1: You're spreading too much of me. For some reason, whenever
- 1:39Speaker 1: anyone else's Teemu mystery box or Teemu anything, it comes
- 1:42Speaker 1: in orange packaging. Is this because I live in the
- 1:44Speaker 1: country or because I'm in Canada? I don't know. Sure,
- 1:47Speaker 1: I'll open you first. I love when things just pop
- 1:49Speaker 1: out at me like a tarot card. This must be
- 1:51Speaker 1: meant to be. It's a tiny package. Look what showed
- 1:54Speaker 1: up in the mail. What showed up in the mail?
- 1:57Speaker 1: Have you seen these? Have you seen these? These right
- 2:00Speaker 1: here are my new book, which is actually my old book,
- 2:03Speaker 1: which is now a special edition. My most popular book
- 2:06Speaker 1: I ever wrote ever was The Haunting of Clandestine House. Indigo, Coles, Chapters,
- 2:11Speaker 1: made their very own edition and you can get it
- 2:13Speaker 1: at any of the Indigoles, Indigoles, Indigos, Coles, or Chapters
- 2:17Speaker 1: or online at indigo.ca. I drove 13 hours all around
- 2:21Speaker 1: Canada signing these books for you guys and I even
- 2:25Speaker 1: put in a little foreword That is just for you guys.
- 2:29Speaker 1: So I hope you guys like this book. Make sure
- 2:31Speaker 1: that you grab your own. Grab one that I signed,
- 2:33Speaker 1: which will be so fun. This is a long time
- 2:35Speaker 1: coming and this wouldn't have happened without you guys. So
- 2:38Speaker 1: thank you so much for believing in me and picking
- 2:41Speaker 1: up your new special edition copy of The Haunting of
- 2:45Speaker 1: Clandestine House. And now let's talk about spooky stuff. What
- 2:48Speaker 1: was in this little box? It's lily. It's got fish
- 2:51Speaker 1: in it. Rip. Would I have bought that for myself?
- 2:55Speaker 1: You bet your ass. Hello, mate. How you doing? You
- 3:02Speaker 1: want a pint, a sniff, or a little bit of more?
- 3:06Speaker 1: I would wear this, and people would give me weird looks,
- 3:08Speaker 1: and then I'd act like they were wearing something weird.
- 3:10Speaker 1: Got it? Get it? Good. No! Again, not Halloween, but...
- 3:18Speaker 1: We are all good dogs in God's hot car. We
- 3:22Speaker 1: are all good dogs in God's hot car. I may
- 3:25Speaker 1: be stupid. My anxiety is chronic, but this ass is iconic.
- 3:31Speaker 1: I'm going to put these all on my car. Swear
- 3:34Speaker 1: to God. First, my ass is not iconic. Skin of
- 3:38Speaker 1: a killer. But the rainbow fish, the world is a
- 3:42Speaker 1: better place with you in it. But your ass, I'm
- 3:46Speaker 1: going to put that on my car because it is.
- 3:49Speaker 1: Don't die. I'd be so pissed if you died. You
- 3:52Speaker 1: don't want to Pissed me off today. What is happening?
- 3:56Speaker 1: They're wee little umbrellas! Alright, happy Halloween. Are they like
- 4:02Speaker 1: little gifts you can give out to people? That must
- 4:04Speaker 1: be what they are. These must be things that you
- 4:06Speaker 1: can give out to people. Look at this. They're literally
- 4:09Speaker 1: little tiny beer cans. Knock-off beer, but like, hey. Dun, dun, dun, dun.
- 4:16Speaker 1: What are you? Oh, it's a little babe. You could
- 4:22Speaker 1: use this for trick-or-treating. I feel like this is like
- 4:25Speaker 1: a Chris ghost. If Chris was a ghost, she'd look
- 4:27Speaker 1: like that. Chris better not ever be a ghost. I
- 4:31Speaker 1: just got scared by my own snakes. Silly little ween.
- 4:37Speaker 1: Is it effective? I can't see and I don't know
- 4:40Speaker 1: how anybody would wear this. Okay, we have something furry
- 4:43Speaker 1: in this box. It says, give you a surprise. That
- 4:51Speaker 1: is terrifying. Look at that. Does it light up? Oh
- 4:55Speaker 1: my God, you put batteries in and it lights up.
- 4:58Speaker 1: God damn. If I was pregnant, I would have shot
- 5:01Speaker 1: a baby right out of my cooch. Oh, it's so violent.
- 5:07Speaker 1: What are you going to show me, buddy? I want
- 5:08Speaker 1: you to come open this and see how cute it is. Okay.
- 5:11Speaker 1: This is the cutest thing I've ever seen. You better
- 5:14Speaker 1: not be messing with me. I'm not messing with you.
- 5:15Speaker 1: Is this a spook? No. Is it a speedy? No. Spider? No. Whoa, Jesus!
- 5:21Speaker 1: I told you, you were messing with me. Whoa, it
- 5:23Speaker 1: looks like Beetlejuice. That did nothing to you. You had, like,
- 5:25Speaker 1: no reaction. It was a little frightening. I screamed, and
- 5:28Speaker 1: then I punched it. Night-night, guy. Dead inside. I literally
- 5:33Speaker 1: see this much of it, and I already know who
- 5:35Speaker 1: this is. That's Colby's face. What's up, it's Sam and Colby, guys!
- 5:42Speaker 1: Welcome back! I need to send them a message right now.
- 5:48Speaker 1: I'm opening a mystery box from Teemu. And look what
- 5:52Speaker 1: was in it. Colby's face. What to you, mate? Is
- 5:55Speaker 1: this a Mothman? Which I think it is! It is!
- 5:58Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. It's a little Mothman! Oh my god,
- 6:01Speaker 1: you can put your key inside the Mothman! Aww! I'm
- 6:05Speaker 1: actually gonna use that. I'm gonna put my key in there. Phew! Oh,
- 6:09Speaker 1: smells like a condom. What do you think? Yeah, I
- 6:12Speaker 1: give that a zero. That feels horrible! Your face is
- 6:15Speaker 1: too small! Stay spooky sticker. Very on brand, baby. That's
- 6:21Speaker 1: what I say. Do no harm. Take no shit. That's
- 6:26Speaker 1: more than a sticker, baby. Listen to that. Adults on board.
- 6:29Speaker 1: We want to live too. Oh, hell yeah! Hell yeah!
- 6:36Speaker 1: In Jenna Marbles' language. Jenna Marbles and Mr. Marble Man.
- 6:43Speaker 1: We love you so much. You used to be our fam.
- 6:47Speaker 1: But then you went away and all our days went
- 6:51Speaker 1: bad because Jenna Marbles, we love you. I recently reddited
- 6:57Speaker 1: my name and there was a post from like years
- 6:59Speaker 1: ago and they were all like, And I was like,
- 7:03Speaker 1: there will never be a new Jenna Marbles. She raised us.
- 7:07Speaker 1: We're all a little like her, okay? She ran so
- 7:10Speaker 1: we could walk. Oh yeah, mate. Look at me, mate.
- 7:14Speaker 1: I've been stabbed in the head and the knife broke
- 7:19Speaker 1: in my brain. I need a bigger head. That's what
- 7:22Speaker 1: she said. It's a miniature toolbox with mini tools! I've
- 7:26Speaker 1: got to put you together. Little scissors, a little hammer,
- 7:29Speaker 1: a little saw, a little wrench, and a screwdriver, and
- 7:32Speaker 1: a hammer, and another pliers. And now I'm going to
- 7:35Speaker 1: go build some Halloween. Go away. We've gotten these before.
- 7:42Speaker 1: They're little tiny people in capsules. And these are which
- 7:46Speaker 1: I want to shove right up my ass. I didn't
- 7:49Speaker 1: give you any sizes, baby, but... It says goose bumps!
- 7:55Speaker 1: And it has gooses doing the bump! I don't like this.
- 8:00Speaker 1: I don't know what it is. I see a little
- 8:02Speaker 1: bit of it, and I don't like it. Hi, my
- 8:07Speaker 1: name's Shane Dawson. I'm kidding. It's a man with nut-sized chins.
- 8:13Speaker 1: What do we got next? I silently scrimped. I scrimped.
- 8:18Speaker 1: That's silently screaming. Look it. and then it touches you
- 8:22Speaker 1: and it makes you wanna shit and die and die
- 8:25Speaker 1: and shit. Oh my god. Everything was worth it, I'd
- 8:29Speaker 1: pay $ 500 for this. Do you like rusty spoons? Because
- 8:35Speaker 1: I like how they feel on my delicate fingers. I
- 8:41Speaker 1: like the way the rust feels on the spoons. If
- 8:46Speaker 1: you don't know who salad fingers are, there's the door!
- 8:52Speaker 1: I'm not rusty, but I'm dusty. Oh, ew, what are you? Oh,
- 9:02Speaker 1: it smells like I'm definitely getting cancer from breathing this.
- 9:05Speaker 1: That smells like paint being sprayed into my lungs. This
- 9:08Speaker 1: is horrible. This is disgusting and horrible, and I give
- 9:11Speaker 1: you a zero. What are you turning into? What are you? Oh,
- 9:17Speaker 1: I'm stuck to the Wait, where's my hands go? I'm
- 9:21Speaker 1: starting to freak out. It goes down to my feet.
- 9:25Speaker 1: And look, it goes down to my feet. And it's
- 9:29Speaker 1: so plush. This is the best thing I've ever gotten
- 9:31Speaker 1: from Timu in my life. And your hands go in here,
- 9:34Speaker 1: and I'm officially a pumpkin. I'm a pumpkin. This is
- 9:38Speaker 1: who I am now. Y'all can leave. Wow, this is
- 9:42Speaker 1: definitely the best thing to ever happen to me on
- 9:44Speaker 1: a video. The snakes need to go. You're not my
- 9:47Speaker 1: happy place anymore. Mothman Research USA. Join the search permit. Whoa.
- 9:55Speaker 1: This is a lifetime permit to look for the Mothman? Yup.
- 10:00Speaker 1: One for me. One for Adam. One for Chris. One
- 10:04Speaker 1: for Jay. One for my dog. Yeah, and then nobody
- 10:09Speaker 1: can come for us at all because we got it.
- 10:11Speaker 1: We're ready. Please do not summon demons in the bathroom.
- 10:17Speaker 1: Sometimes I think that's what I'm doing when I'm pooping.
- 10:21Speaker 1: Miss Peggy Hill! You're going on the back of the bronco, bitch.
- 10:25Speaker 1: Mothman is real. We made out and he is a
- 10:28Speaker 1: gentle and caring lover. There's a lot of Mothman going
- 10:31Speaker 1: on here. How'd they know? Did Mothman send this? Does
- 10:35Speaker 1: he want a kiss? Sorry, I'll never do that again.
- 10:39Speaker 1: I just feel like I'm living my best life. Doing
- 10:45Speaker 1: the spooky stuff in the... I can't see well, but
- 10:50Speaker 1: I can tell that that does not look good or effective. Oh,
- 10:54Speaker 1: it's soft. Shut up. I love it. And it feels
- 10:58Speaker 1: like it is who I am and I am who
- 11:00Speaker 1: it is. I'm getting dizzy and I'm thinking that it
- 11:03Speaker 1: might be from some of the chemicals in this stuff.
- 11:06Speaker 1: Oh my God, but that's okay, because we have shark mittens.
- 11:10Speaker 1: Can you imagine Adam's like, let's go for a walk
- 11:12Speaker 1: in the nice fall weather. And I put on my
- 11:15Speaker 1: pumpkin onesie and I put on my crazy eye hat
- 11:19Speaker 1: And I put on my gloves. Hello. Did you like
- 11:22Speaker 1: the Tebow Mystery Halloween Box? A lot of things didn't
- 11:26Speaker 1: make sense, but a lot of it did. Do you
- 11:28Speaker 1: want to ki- I am who I am, and you
- 11:33Speaker 1: can't expect too much from me. Oh my goodness. Let
- 11:37Speaker 1: me inside. Oh, I hate it. Why is it slimy inside?
- 11:43Speaker 1: Some people look at me weird for the size of
- 11:46Speaker 1: my fingers. Oh, damn! You only need one person in
- 11:54Speaker 1: the audience. Good job, sweetie. Don't! That's my daughter. Too much. Spooky, cutie, cute,
- 12:07Speaker 1: and comfy coloring book. Look at these. Look, there's activities
- 12:12Speaker 1: in here for mine. It's the bag that never ends.
- 12:18Speaker 1: It goes on and on, my friend. Let's see what
- 12:21Speaker 1: we got, baby. Oh, do you fart? Oh, this isn't good.
- 12:27Speaker 1: And it's just so green. It's changing color as I
- 12:33Speaker 1: touch it. And you smell like cough medicine and I
- 12:36Speaker 1: don't want to touch you anymore. We have more winter wear.
- 12:40Speaker 1: They're matching white balaclavas. All right. I could be a
- 12:44Speaker 1: robber for Halloween. Got a pretty big weird mouth hole
- 12:48Speaker 1: on that. Timu, what are you doing here? We have
- 12:53Speaker 1: ourselves a very erratic looking pickle. Very erratic pickle. Toxic
- 12:58Speaker 1: bomb super three pack. Smell from hell, stinky ass, and
- 13:03Speaker 1: toxic bomb. It's fartspray. Oh my god. I can already
- 13:14Speaker 1: smell it. Go back in your home. We're using that
- 13:17Speaker 1: at a later time. TikTok. Reels. I'm gonna destroy Adam.
- 13:21Speaker 1: He hates that shit and he'll never know! Credit card
- 13:24Speaker 1: skins and they're Blockbuster cars. That's insane. This is the
- 13:29Speaker 1: back of my car. I don't think this is gonna
- 13:33Speaker 1: be effective, but this is funny. I am Donald Trump.
- 13:37Speaker 1: The whole time. America's wild, man. I eat drywall just
- 13:42Speaker 1: a little sometimes as a treat. What? If you get
- 13:47Speaker 1: any closer, I'll fart. I need to put these all
- 13:50Speaker 1: on my car. It's too much and I love it.
- 13:52Speaker 1: Come on, Mothman card. Oh, damn. Look at these. Those
- 13:56Speaker 1: are some, can you imagine? You just always are like, huh?
- 13:59Speaker 1: Just driving, huh? Huh? I'm going to wear these in
- 14:03Speaker 1: my everyday life. Bet. Watch it. That's it! There's so
- 14:06Speaker 1: many stickers in here and so many non-Halloween things. But
- 14:09Speaker 1: was it a good time? Did I have a fun time?
- 14:11Speaker 1: Am I going to put this in the back of
- 14:12Speaker 1: my car? At least all the trauma made me hilarious.
- 14:16Speaker 1: You bet your ass. Do you want me to test
- 14:18Speaker 1: this again? Do you want me to choose Christmas? That
- 14:20Speaker 1: could be really fun. Do you want me to do
- 14:22Speaker 1: a Teemu Christmas mystery box? I'll do that. And don't forget, guys,
- 14:26Speaker 1: before you go, all my merch and makeup is on sale.
- 14:28Speaker 1: And you can go pick up the new special edition
- 14:30Speaker 1: of TheHauntingOfClandestineHouse at Indigo or Indigo.ca. I love you guys.
- 14:35Speaker 1: Thanks for hanging out. Hope you have a good time.
- 14:37Speaker 1: You're my kind of best friends. And I got to
- 14:39Speaker 1: meet all y'all on my tour when I was away
- 14:41Speaker 1: with Chris, and it was great. So, love you. Bye.
- 14:46Speaker 1: Oh my god, we have to make them kiss. Hey.
- 14:50Speaker 1: You want to give them a little smooch? I'll stop.