Latest / Relatables / EP 12 - DILEMMAS: MEN

Transcript

EP 12 - DILEMMAS: MEN · Relatables

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Coming up on relatables. But why do men do you think,
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: because this is really really relatable, have that sort of
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: insecurity in a sense of is it because they don't
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: know them or is it just because they feel threatened
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: that someone else has a penis relatable?
• 0:24
  Speaker 2: The Relatables podcast is hosted by myself, Jake Craig aka
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: Daddy and my partner in crime, mister Oddie Clark aka Mummy.
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: Welcome in Baddies to another Dilemmas episode. But we wanted
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: to start something new that potentially could have a lot
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: of merit in the future, and I think it's also
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: quite fun. Jake, you came up with this idea, didn't you. Ah?
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I copied it from your favorite pod.
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm Jet Expert, Dak sheckerd Dak Shepherd, Monica pad Mernon,
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: I forget what they call it, but so they at
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: the end.
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: I've only listened to a few of their episodes with
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: some big guests, but they do like twenty minutes the
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: end of fact check or something, Yeah, fact check.
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: But also they're very knowledgeable, whereas like we're kind of
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: just like spitting some random facts here and there, and
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: it's always wrong. Yeah.
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: So we're gonna call this quality control. And so what
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: this is gonna be is each Friday episode, we're gonna
• 1:17
  Speaker 2: have the first maybe five minutes of just correcting ourselves
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: from the Monday episode.
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: Gone. Yeah, and Jake, you've got this week, haven't you?
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: I do? Yeah? It was there any sort of like
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: theme with like who said what is it more me
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: or you? I don't know. I don't really know. Like
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: so there's only three Okay, Okay, that seems good. We've
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: done good. I said to Jake yesterday. I was like,
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: get the ten things that we said wrong.
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: So he's got three.
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Like it's just like I asked.
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: What I ended up doing was like it'd be cool
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: for obviously the baddies to go in and like fact
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: check it or whatever, but I also wanted it to
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: be like correct correct.
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: So I got the transcript and I like put it
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: in AI got it from a eye, and then I
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: also asked him to Google. So I've like done some
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: triple check.
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: In Okay, okay, okay, I'm ready.
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: So we actually fixed the first one on air, and
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: that was the definition of birthing rights.
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: Ah yeah, yeah, yeah, that was that was bad for
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: me that one. I was I was editing that and
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: I was thinking, I'm an eighty. Yeah.
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: When I was watching the back as well, I was
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: like what the I was like, I'm so glad. We
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: like kind of went and looked into that. AnyWho. So,
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: birth and rights is the rights or privileges a person
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: is entitled to from birth, such as a citizen or inheritance.
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: And so we did correct that, but I just wanted
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: to double correct. Birthing rights is not the person who
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: gets to give birth.
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: Hey. Hey, it's like you know when your brain gets
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: like tunnel vision vision and that's all you can think about. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: that's what I had a anyway, Okay, number two this
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: is me.
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: This is my bad one. Okay, So I said, the
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: first time you do heroin is supposed to be the best.
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: Yeah is it not?
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: Okay, So it's an oversimplified and misleading Yeah. So it
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: says you state the fact that to explain an addiction.
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: It's so, I said, so, yeah, I state this as
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: a fact to explain addiction. Yeah, but it's widely a
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: repeated claim, but the actual pharmacology is more nuanced. The
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: first use is often not the most euphoric. Many users
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: report the peak effect comes after a few uses, as
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: tolerance develops differently from pleasure response. The chasing the first
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: high narrative is in addiction psychology, but framing it as
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: the first time is the best is simplification that could
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: be contested.
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: Okay, interesting, look, probably a great thing to correct. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: you were looking for an analogy though, that's what we
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: do on the podcast. I was looking for an analogy.
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: We try to look for an analogy and then whatever
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: land for this is what we go with.
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: I was like, heroines, Yeah, that shit's great for the
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: first time, and then I think this one's also me.
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: Oh, I'm happy with this. It's just all me.
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: Every time I said Australia has the most strict laws
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: on non stick pan codings.
• 4:24
  Speaker 3: Yeah, in my defense, I got that from a woman
• 4:30
  Speaker 3: that was trying to sell me a pan, So we don't.
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: Oh, I literally told my girlfriend this last night. So
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: there's a new documentary that came out on Netflix all
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: about plastic and we're talking about it. I'm like, oh,
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure Australia has the strictest rules when it
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: comes to like microplastics.
• 4:46
  Speaker 2: And pants and stuff.
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: So you you you stretched it even further to microplastics.
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: Misinformation gets spread, yeah, legit an so it's unverified. Oh
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: I say that they're actually fine for you because Australia
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: has the most strict laws and shit. And then it
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: says this presented as established fact, but it's not accurate.
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: Australia does have food safety standards, but PFA's slash teflon
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: regulation is stronger in the EU than in Australia.
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: Ah, so we.
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: Must be second.
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: Maybe maybe maybe, Well that's actually fun. Hey, I'm proud
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: of us, though I was thinking there'd be heaps. Yeah.
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: And then you know the because we're audio only on
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: Spotify now. Yeah, you said like you must have been
• 5:37
  Speaker 2: talking about something and you were like, ah, because Spotify's
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: audio only, and the AI picked it up and thought
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: that was one of the wrong facts and they were like,
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: you should really correct yourself on that because they post
• 5:45
  Speaker 2: video now and I was like, yeah, fuck, though.
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: Not unless you want to go to Patreon for eight
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: ninety nine a month and you get the full video
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: extra episode every single week. It's also on YouTube, but
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: the community on Patreon is insane. And once we hit
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: two thousand, I love it when you say patrons, Jake
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: will get a trancher crawl all over him by Robert Urwin.
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: Oh dang hey to be complete, Like if we do
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: that in Queensland at the Queensland Studio, he's only two
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: hours away.
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: Does he resign up? He's bar and bay, isn't he
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: no what what?
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: He's fucking Australia Zoo bro His dad opened Australia Zoo
• 6:29
  Speaker 2: and that and Robert I was still up in that
• 6:31
  Speaker 2: bitch fucking running it. AI is going to kill us
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: on this one. I'm pretty sure you know we're not
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: doing fact checks on me.
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: Steve Irwin didn't fucking open Australian Zoo, the Australia Zoo.
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: Oh I thought he did. I think he's just a
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: mass he was just the best wildlife person. I don't
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: think he opened the zoo.
• 6:49
  Speaker 2: Oh I thought I thought he founded Australia Zoo.
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: That's so wrong. I don't think he was just like
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: the best, you know, like what are they called when
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: they have like all those shows of crocodiles and then
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: he could do anything a wildlife man.
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: Maybe also they do have like an homage to him
• 7:10
  Speaker 2: at the zoo. Obviously yeah, and also they have recently
• 7:14
  Speaker 2: opened like this six you can go stay at the zoo.
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: That's what we should do. Wh should make a full
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: thing out of it. We go stay at the zoo
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: at the Steve Irwin Sanctuary part or whatever it's like
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: called the fucking Kangaroo Cabins or something. Yeah, and I'm
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: so sure that all the Owens still live up there.
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: Okay, okay, yeah, I remember Bindi Yeah, im, I can't
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: like that name and so but so does Robert. Short answer, No,
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: Steve Irwin didn't originally open Australia do as Australian or
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: oh it was his parents. It was Irwin.
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: There you go.
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: I didn't know that.
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: The more I thought that he was the first, like
• 7:53
  Speaker 2: Wildlife Bob, and the.
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: More you know, yeah, the more you know that is
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: This is a dilemmas episode, with the prompt being men
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: m N. And before we get into it, if you
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: want to submit a dilemma, the link will be in
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: the description and we'll just leave that as a broad
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: one can be absolutely anything you want to go.
• 8:18
  Speaker 2: First, Yeah, I also want to say something. Okay, after
• 8:21
  Speaker 2: you just spelt out men, right, then, you know I've
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: always known that it's just three letters. Yeah, I don't
• 8:26
  Speaker 2: think it's a coincidence that you just add one more
• 8:28
  Speaker 2: letter and it turns into the word men.
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: I can imagine Jake's brain when I just said that,
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: and he's like, I've got fucking something good. Okay.
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: First one, I'm in a bit of a dilemma with
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: my boyfriend. I recently went to dinner with a good
• 8:55
  Speaker 2: maid of mine who was in town for work. I
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: live eight hours away from home from my hometown. Now.
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: He is a boy and we have been friends since
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: we were five years old. I let my partner know
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: he was in town and asked if he was okay
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: if we caught up for dinner. Because we both work
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: till six pm, we both have partners, and out of respect,
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: I usually only catch up in groups settings or with
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: his girlfriend, who I love. My partner has never met him,
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: and told me he felt really uncomfortable with the situation
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: the next day. I completely understand how it probably looks,
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: but we have always been platonic friends. I don't consider
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: him a best friend, just a mate, and during school
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: I did have a few guy mates, generally because of
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: similar interests and hobbies. I completely respect his feelings and
• 9:42
  Speaker 2: won't hang out one on one again. But am I
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: in the wrong as it was just a one off
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: because he was in town? Oh okay, I reckon your
• 9:51
  Speaker 2: boyfriend's in the wrong.
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: A yeah, I would agree. I think your boyfriend's in
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: the wrong. Also extremely insecure. Wait did she tell him
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: prior to going to meet this friend? Yeah?
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: I think that's so fine. And like also like it
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: was a one off. Yeah, first of all, the one off,
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: Like so who he really cares?
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: Like?
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: But again, like I don't know he's your friend. Yeah. Well,
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: we are the advocates of girls and guys can't be
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: best friends, emphasis on best friends, but you can be
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: friends for sure. Yeah, we're on the record. Hey, go
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: back every day. We're on the record saying guys and
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: girls can't be best friends, but they certainly can be friends.
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: Especially too, Like if your friend's in town for like
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: a one off, for like he's moved away and he's
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: come back to see his family and he's like, oh,
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: you want to go get a coffee, I'd be like, yeah.
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: Fucking fin get some takeaway, go do some hang out,
• 10:47
  Speaker 2: go see a movie.
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: But why do men do you think? Because this is really,
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: really relatable have that sort of insecurity in a sense
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: of is it because they don't know them or is
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: it just because they feel threatened.
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: That someone else has a penis? That's a great question.
• 11:04
  Speaker 2: I don't know, right for be honest with you, like
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: and he's also the really funny thing, right is like
• 11:13
  Speaker 2: if Beth somehow got a guy best friend, there's every
• 11:17
  Speaker 2: chance in the world.
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: I wouldn't give a fuck. Yeah, but you know what,
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: I you know what I hate. It's people in relationships
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: they say I trust you, but I don't trust them.
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: I hate that. I feel like that's gaslight. Well, here's
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: what you need to do.
• 11:34
  Speaker 2: Trust me, Yeah, the situation. And if a situation arises
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: where I'm uncomfortable because they do actually like me, then
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: you need to trust that. I will shut it down
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: and I will tell you and then I will not
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: see them anymore.
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: Exactly, period, full stop.
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: Like, yeah, I'm not a big fan of like the
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: I trust you, but I don't trust them. It's like,
• 11:54
  Speaker 2: what are you gonna what do you think they're gonna do?
• 11:56
  Speaker 2: Do you into having sex with them?
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: Exactly? It's flooding, It's manipulation. It's another word. The week
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: on the spot, well for what around gas larding manipulation?
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: One more go.
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: Sorry with me?
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: Oh, Jake, you're going to turn into that guy like
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: do your best impression of talking like AI, like, what
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: is it? Clud's a British man? Oh he's British? Is it?
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: He's sick? Bro?
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: Did you just change the settings the Britain though? Oh
• 12:31
  Speaker 2: maybe you could, but he came as that.
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: I saw a video actually on Claude and apparently it's
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: more environmental. I was going to say healthy than chat
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: TBT for some reason.
• 12:40
  Speaker 2: I don't know how.
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: Maybe they have better cooling systems or something.
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, we learned about that.
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: Yes, I don't know. All right, that one is debunked.
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: So break up your boyfriend, don't have sex, they do dating.
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: She's still with him and no, you know what talks
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: about this is she said, I'm not going to hang
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: out with him one on one again. Oh no, don't do that.
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: Do the opposite, break up with him and then hang
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: out on him all the time.
• 13:02
  Speaker 2: Like yeah, I I we completely just skip that. You're
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: she's fully been Like I completely understand, and like I
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: it would be different if this person you're seeing you
• 13:16
  Speaker 2: used to have romantic Yeah, feelings, but you never have
• 13:21
  Speaker 2: you said, it's always been throwing. You've been friends since
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: you were five. Like your boyfriend is using the right word,
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: like you said earlier, he's like manipulating you by saying
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: like he's not comfortable with it. Yeah, it's like, what's like,
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: It's like, I'm not asking you for permission, I'm letting
• 13:42
  Speaker 2: you know. And if you're uncomfortable, then that's on you.
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: The foundation isn't This isn't a situation that requires or
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: this isn't a situation that would make anyone uncomfortable unless
• 13:54
  Speaker 2: you are insecure. Agreed.
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: So the foundation of any relationship is trust and this
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: man doesn't have it.
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: And yeah, and yeah, can we.
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: Change the title of this episode so it's not men
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: and men it's boys b a ys with a Z. Yeah,
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: because he's a boy, he's not a real man. Yeah. Yeah,
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: if you add a lead of the boy, I don't know.
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: I'm in a weird mood today. Can we add any letter.
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: The boy boy? It's oh, oh, you could add you
• 14:29
  Speaker 2: could add a you and it could still be boy.
• 14:32
  Speaker 2: But it's one of those things out in the ocean,
• 14:34
  Speaker 2: because that's where men belong.
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: This bobble right. That next the lemma. Sorry guys, this
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: is a bit long, by the way, love your podcast
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: and videos. So here's the situation I got into my
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: first relationship eighteen where from the beginning I made my
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: boundaries clear. I said I didn't want to have sex
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: early on, not because I'm against it, but because for
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: me it's something meaningful. I wanted to feel safe, secure,
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: and see that the relationship was actually going somewhere long term.
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: He agreed to that from the start, but then his
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: behavior didn't match. Just three weeks into dating, he asked
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: for sex. I said no again, and instead of respecting
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: that and adjusting, he just kept asking, not once or
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: twice every single week for six months four During this
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: six months, I felt pressured, felt like my boundaries weren't
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: taken seriously. I felt like he was wanting me to
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: change my mind rather than actually actually accepting my decision.
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: After six months, I repeated myself again saying I won't
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: sleep with him, and over time his effort dropped, less attention,
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: less emotional connection. I broke up with him after his
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: behavior was like that for four months in brackets way
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: too long. Eventually he said he was losing feelings, But
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: looking back, it doesn't feel like feelings just disappeared randomly.
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: It feels like they faded because I didn't give him
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: what he wanted, which was sex. And that's where the
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: confusion comes in, because I was consistent from day one.
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: I didn't switch up, I didn't lead him on, I
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: didn't promise anything and take it back. I was honest
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: from the start. So now the questions are, was I
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: the problem even though I communicated my boundaries clearly from
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: the beginning. Should I have done something differently? Or was
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: he wrong for not taking me seriously? Is this what
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: most guys expect in relationships nowadays, that sex should happen early. Umm,
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: now you're not in the wrong.
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: No, I'm glad you broke up with him. I was
• 16:43
  Speaker 2: hoping that. I was like, please, I really don't want
• 16:45
  Speaker 2: to have to give advice that you need to break.
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: Up with this man. Yeah.
• 16:50
  Speaker 2: Him doing that gets to the point where it's like
• 16:53
  Speaker 2: he so he's asked you you said no, Like he's
• 16:57
  Speaker 2: just literally not even he doesn't respect your ants, and
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: he was like trying to nearly.
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: Wear you down.
• 17:04
  Speaker 2: Into saying yes, which then becomes like, is that even consensual.
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: That's a very tricky debate.
• 17:12
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean. Yeah, I'm glad you just
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: like kind of left.
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: I'm glad too, baddie, that you stayed true to your
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: word because you know what you want. You didn't want
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: to have sex. Fucking respect that, and he tried to
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: get on your nerve and whittle you down, and you
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: didn't take no for an answer.
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: We'll take yesterday. So I'd say so like you, I
• 17:36
  Speaker 2: would like hopefully no bodies own this situation, but I
• 17:39
  Speaker 2: would like all the baddies to listen to that dilemma
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: and think about how this baddie handled herself and take notes.
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: M He stayed true to herself the whole time.
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: She didn't switch up for this man, and then she
• 17:56
  Speaker 2: realized we need to break up.
• 17:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you broke up with them, agreed.
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: This is actually a great advocate for all baddies out there.
• 18:05
  Speaker 2: Let's fucking go.
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: I guess it's hard too, though, So we found this
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: out a lot. As soon as sex is in the equation,
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: it's a very very hard thing to communicate. So now
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: this baddie who's done very good is doubting if she
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: was the problem because this man wanted to have sex
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: so badly, which the answer is no. But it is
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: a serious problem in a sense of I guess, are
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: all men just looking for sex?
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: I would say most hmm, I reckon.
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: It's the equivalent of I would fucking hate this if
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: I was lesbian all gay, you know how like straight
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: men will be like, oh, change you on a night
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: out and shit, you always see him say.
• 18:54
  Speaker 2: That, Oh my god, I'm mad. Yeah yeah, And if I, okay,
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: this is a straight guy, yeah, well, literally look at
• 19:01
  Speaker 2: a lesbian and be like I could change her.
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: It's like it's the most arrogant thing I could think of.
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: And this is I guess similar in the sense of
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: she said she said that I don't want to have sex.
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: I guess it's kind of similar, kind of not. And
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: then he's like, I don't hear that I can change
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: her to have sex with me. Yeah, in one ear
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: and out the other. I guess it's the same things.
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: I guess it comes back down in respect too, like
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: respecting someone's boundaries.
• 19:26
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, he didn't have any Yeah.
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: I would even argue the bigger problem is not all
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: men really want to have sex, not all men don't
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: respect women and what they say, Yeah, yeah, definitely.
• 19:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah, nah, this guy fucking just it's kind of hard
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: because like, how do you's? I just think like the
• 19:51
  Speaker 2: fact that you said it at the very beginning is
• 19:54
  Speaker 2: like how you said, like you from the very beginning
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: you said I don't want to have sex, and he
• 19:58
  Speaker 2: said agreed or not agreed, like heard, I hear you.
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: I'm fine with that.
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 20:04
  Speaker 2: And so then him asking you is like, so I
• 20:10
  Speaker 2: like and I assume he's kind of like do you
• 20:11
  Speaker 2: want to have sex instead of like what's your stand?
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: Like where are where are you at with wanting to
• 20:18
  Speaker 2: have sex? Like has that changed? And also he just
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: needed to be completely honest with you and be like,
• 20:25
  Speaker 2: look also from the beginning, like look, I'm someone that
• 20:30
  Speaker 2: wants to have sex. So from the beginning, you guys
• 20:33
  Speaker 2: could have been like that good.
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: To meet you exactly, you know what I mean? And
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: I guess what you said through that would have been
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: the healthy approach, because it's healthy to want sex. But
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: he should have asked and said, hey, I'm looking for
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: sex in this relationship. Can we have monthly or three
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: monthly check ins to see where you're at in this relationship?
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: If you think there's a long term future there, like
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: where we're going together and like check ins and then
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: she's like, nah' still not ready. Respect that move on.
• 21:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and he just needs and he also needs to
• 21:03
  Speaker 2: be open to her not being ready for as long
• 21:07
  Speaker 2: as she needs, because like it's her thing, like I
• 21:11
  Speaker 2: assume it was her virginity. Yeah, like that's like her
• 21:16
  Speaker 2: thing that you can't be like, oh have but we
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: put a year time for ahi, minile.
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: You can't do that, not with this, you can't do that. No, no,
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: not at all.
• 21:24
  Speaker 2: AnyWho. I'm glad you left him, but you're definitely not
• 21:27
  Speaker 2: in the wrong.
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: And oh this is this is a good one too.
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: I'm glad you never had sex with him, don't have not.
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: I don't have to say you don't have sex anymore.
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: I like that.
• 21:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, bad his next one, we got another boy
• 21:39
  Speaker 2: up in here. I don't know. I mean, I hope
• 21:41
  Speaker 2: he's just a boy, because I haven't. I only read
• 21:44
  Speaker 2: the start of this one and thought it sounded good.
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: My ex keeps reaching out to my boyfriend, and it's
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: not just about grief. My boyfriend and I have been
• 21:52
  Speaker 2: together for about nine months. Before we started dating, he
• 21:55
  Speaker 2: was upfront that his ex, oh WHOA not my ex?
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: At the beginning, the title is the X keeps reaching
• 22:06
  Speaker 2: out to my boyfriend and it's not just about grief.
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: I don't get it.
• 22:11
  Speaker 2: So her boyfriend's X keeps reaching out to him? Okay, okay,
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: so look, this one's not really about a man or
• 22:17
  Speaker 2: a boy, but it has a boyfriend involved. So we'll
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: hit we'll hit the we'll hit the Yeah, now hit
• 22:22
  Speaker 2: a head with that in mind.
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: Now keep that in mind, and I we read it.
• 22:26
  Speaker 2: My boyfriend and I have been together for about nine
• 22:28
  Speaker 2: months before we started dating. He was upfront that his
• 22:31
  Speaker 2: ex had still still had contact with him. The reason
• 22:35
  Speaker 2: was that her stepdad had stage four cancer and she
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: felt he was the only person who could understand since
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: he had battled cancer.
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: He told me he set clear.
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: Boundaries that if she reached out, it would only be
• 22:46
  Speaker 2: about her stepdad, not to catch up, even though she
• 22:50
  Speaker 2: did try to push that boundary a few times that conversation.
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: She also tried to ask about his summer catch up.
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: He told her he was seriously seeing someone, and she
• 22:59
  Speaker 2: responded saying she missed him. The next day, she showed
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: up at his work with her mum and sister. About
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: a week later, she let him know her stepdad had
• 23:06
  Speaker 2: passed away. He was obviously sad, since he had a
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: relationship with him at one point, she invited him to
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: the funeral and it became a whole conversation about whether
• 23:16
  Speaker 2: he should go. About a month after that, she asked
• 23:21
  Speaker 2: to get together before leaving to study abroad in Spain.
• 23:24
  Speaker 2: He said he was out of town and never ended
• 23:26
  Speaker 2: up seeing her. Fast forward now, three weeks ago, she
• 23:31
  Speaker 2: reached out again, asking if he wanted to call and
• 23:33
  Speaker 2: catch up. He responded with saying he's happy in his
• 23:36
  Speaker 2: relationship and doesn't think it's appropriate to keep a friendly
• 23:39
  Speaker 2: relationship with her, but if she needs to talk about
• 23:42
  Speaker 2: her stepdad, he's there. She responded respectfully and even apologized
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: if reaching out made me uncomfortable. So he said all
• 23:50
  Speaker 2: these all the right things, but I still feel uneasy
• 23:53
  Speaker 2: about her continuing to reach out. I don't know if
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: it's fair to ask him to block her considering everything
• 23:58
  Speaker 2: everything involved with grief and loss. Am I being too
• 24:01
  Speaker 2: understanding or is this something I should be more concerned about.
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: This is tough. I that's that's very difficult. Yeah, because
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: I'm also torn too, because my immediate my immediate thought
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: was if death or someone's life is on the line,
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: kind of drop any sort of I don't even know
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: what you'd call it, anything to do with x's and
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: previous relationships and just be there for said person or whatever,
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: because you're not thinking romantically in that time at all. Yeah,
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: But then I would argue the constant messaging is weird.
• 24:44
  Speaker 2: I want to say, it's not constant, but it is
• 24:47
  Speaker 2: slightly consistent in spaces of time.
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I guess. I guess it's it's hard too, because
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: like you're connecting over grief, what does that even mean?
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: It's not really.
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: Connecting very much then, is it? You're just kind of
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: being there for someone, Like I'm trying to think about
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: it if I was in her shoes. So let me say,
• 25:10
  Speaker 2: let's say Beth sex boyfriend, like most recent one. She's
• 25:16
  Speaker 2: had more than one ex boyfriend I know, don't don't
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: tell me.
• 25:21
  Speaker 4: Really good missta too anyway, So if his mom was
• 25:27
  Speaker 4: to pass away, Beth had a she knew the mom
• 25:32
  Speaker 4: very well, obviously saw her a bunch, so she would
• 25:34
  Speaker 4: probably be like upset first and foremost.
• 25:36
  Speaker 2: And then if her ex boyfriend had reached out and
• 25:40
  Speaker 2: told her, and then also just kind of somehow said like,
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: you know, I feel like you're the only person I
• 25:46
  Speaker 2: can talk to about this. It's like what it's kind
• 25:53
  Speaker 2: of like what do you Yeah, what do you do? Like,
• 25:57
  Speaker 2: obviously you don't want your ex, sorry, you don't want
• 26:02
  Speaker 2: your current boyfriend or girlfriend partner or whatever talking to
• 26:06
  Speaker 2: their ex like at all. Like maybe some people don't
• 26:09
  Speaker 2: give a shit, but I think I would just have
• 26:12
  Speaker 2: to be like I mean, look, if you want to
• 26:15
  Speaker 2: talk to him, like if you're happy to be there
• 26:17
  Speaker 2: for him, honestly, like, go for it. I would just
• 26:20
  Speaker 2: appreciate it if you just tell me every time you
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: talk to him.
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: But I also I would like I wouldn't be angry
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: if someone said I wouldn't want you to talk to him,
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: I would go down your avenue. But I could see
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: the other.
• 26:34
  Speaker 2: Approach, Yeah, like let me think about let's say my
• 26:38
  Speaker 2: ex reaches out and says like my dad's just died
• 26:42
  Speaker 2: or whatever, and yeah, let's just say similar situation. But
• 26:46
  Speaker 2: then if Beth's like, look, I don't know if I'm
• 26:48
  Speaker 2: comfortable with that. Like I can also see arguments of like, look,
• 26:52
  Speaker 2: talk to them once or twice. Yes, go to the
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: funeral as well, Like obviously go to the funeral. Yeah,
• 26:57
  Speaker 2: I don't care about that at all, But like how
• 27:03
  Speaker 2: many times do you need to talk about it?
• 27:05
  Speaker 1: Like it's so hard? Is it even sure to think
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: that way? Because people go through grief so differently, And yes,
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: like when you go through something hard, you don't know
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: what you cling to, and like it's I'll say, it's
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: sad that she whoever's going through the grief feels the
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: need to contact their X. They haven't got the relationships
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: after breaking up to be supportive to be there, so
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: they're clinging all they know, So it is quite sad.
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: So you do want to be there for them, So
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: I understand that. I think what you said as a
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: partner is the best thing for it. And like are
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: going back around circle to trust like ninety nine percent
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: of the time, I'm sure their intentions are there just
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: to need support.
• 27:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and if not, that other one percent is the
• 27:58
  Speaker 2: trust in your relationship with your boyfriend. That's a very
• 28:02
  Speaker 2: good point, you know, like do you trust your boyfriend?
• 28:05
  Speaker 2: If yes, then let it be yeah, like just trust
• 28:11
  Speaker 2: him to be do right by you that you wouldn't
• 28:14
  Speaker 2: feel good about being like, I don't want you to
• 28:16
  Speaker 2: talk to her anymore. No, no, no, no at all. Wouldn't
• 28:18
  Speaker 2: feel good about that. So I would say, I think
• 28:22
  Speaker 2: he's doing everything very well.
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: I do want to say.
• 28:26
  Speaker 2: One thing he said was sorry, I just scrumpled up
• 28:32
  Speaker 2: my paper and I chucked it.
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: I rookie mistake, mate, m.
• 28:39
  Speaker 2: So she asked to catch up before leaving to Spain.
• 28:45
  Speaker 2: So the ex her dad died, funeral's done, and then
• 28:50
  Speaker 2: she's contacted the boyfriend being like, do you want to
• 28:53
  Speaker 2: catch up before I go to Spain for summer.
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: I'm going abroad And then he's like, no, I'm out
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: of town. I can't. I'm implying that you would if
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: you were in town. He wasn't out of town.
• 29:04
  Speaker 2: He was out of town, so they didn't.
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: But was he actually out of town?
• 29:07
  Speaker 2: I assume?
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: So yeah, is that also like, I guess that's getting technical.
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: I see what you're saying. But also I feel like
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: if a girl came up to me in public and
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: then I'm on my on my feet and I'm like, oh, sorry,
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: I have a girlfriend, if they asked me.
• 29:20
  Speaker 2: Out, I know, no, we That's the thing is like
• 29:24
  Speaker 2: I understand that it's so easy to say that because
• 29:26
  Speaker 2: you're like shit, Like it's hard to just be like.
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: No, yeah, I'm being like I'm saying like I know
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: the right thing to say, but I would be awkward
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: and nervous and be like, oh, I don't want to
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: have the feelings. I'm sorry I have a girlfriend, and
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: I don't mean that I'm sorry because I love my relationship.
• 29:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you're not sorry that you have a girlfriend. Well,
• 29:42
  Speaker 2: I could be that you're a girlfriend.
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: I can completely see myself saying that, just be by
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: being my awkward self.
• 29:48
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, same, I can. And I've actually quite often
• 29:51
  Speaker 2: thought like, you know, it's funny, such a man thing
• 29:54
  Speaker 2: to think about, like what do I say to a
• 29:55
  Speaker 2: girl if she comes up and asks me for my number?
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: It doesn't happen.
• 30:00
  Speaker 3: I don't have to worry about it.
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: It's like that's on the tier list of like if
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: you drive past the house and you think, like it,
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: could I save that whole family? Feels on fire? Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah,
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: I quite oft have to be.
• 30:16
  Speaker 2: Like on the street and I'll be like thinking if
• 30:18
  Speaker 2: that man came up to me and wanted to fight,
• 30:25
  Speaker 2: So look, I think everything's sweet.
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, I think when you can get.
• 30:33
  Speaker 2: Uncomfortable is if the ex girlfriends does taking the piss
• 30:35
  Speaker 2: with it. Yeah right, and so the boyfriend is to
• 30:39
  Speaker 2: be super honest about all the communications. And then when
• 30:41
  Speaker 2: you can get uncomfortable is if the ex girlfriends does
• 30:43
  Speaker 2: taking the piss and you're like, okay, this is crazy.
• 30:46
  Speaker 2: You do need to cut it off because she's taking
• 30:47
  Speaker 2: the piss.
• 30:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, exactly, I agree completely, and the boyfriend should
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: not know exactly. This one's fun and maybe reminisce quite
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: a bit. Hey boys love the pod. I literally have
• 31:05
  Speaker 1: your voices in the background of my life twenty four
• 31:08
  Speaker 1: to seven. Let's gold.
• 31:11
  Speaker 2: That should be do you reckon some people fall asleep
• 31:13
  Speaker 2: to us? Yeah?
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: Hell yeah?
• 31:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: Should we do like nursery rhyme? If someone's like my
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: bed listening?
• 31:18
  Speaker 2: Should we make like a thirty minute episode that people
• 31:21
  Speaker 2: just go back and listen to whenever they can't sleep,
• 31:24
  Speaker 2: and it's just like it's like a really good fall
• 31:27
  Speaker 2: sleep too type.
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: Twinkle twinkle lit.
• 31:33
  Speaker 2: Oh, I want we could we could do this? You
• 31:36
  Speaker 2: know how some people count sheep before sleep. I've never
• 31:38
  Speaker 2: done it.
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I used to. I used to do that.
• 31:40
  Speaker 2: Actually, you'd be like one of us could be like
• 31:42
  Speaker 2: one two two.
• 31:49
  Speaker 1: All right, a baddies, let us know if you want
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: to sleep podcast that if you sleep with us, that
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: she would get views A because I listened to like
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: a deep REMP player and it has so many saves. Yeah, exactly,
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: And at that point in time, I know it works,
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: so I don't go look for anything else. And I'm
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: too tired to we go back and a reliable We
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: should just do like a bunch of sleep POPCST. We
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: just start asleep pop tast like just talking about the
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: boring of ship. Do you reckon? That's why Joe Rogan's big? Yeah?
• 32:19
  Speaker 2: Oh so that's why Andrew Huberman is big.
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah you put it on.
• 32:21
  Speaker 5: You're like, oh, fuck me, wish I was asleep, Like, like,
• 32:24
  Speaker 5: what do you mean you want to sit there and
• 32:25
  Speaker 5: listen to a guy talk to you about the fucking
• 32:28
  Speaker 5: scientifics of like athleticism or like why BC double as
• 32:33
  Speaker 5: are good for your fucking hydration or whatever, Like no
• 32:36
  Speaker 5: one cares, You're just going to sleep.
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: True. Here's my dilemma. I'm sixteen years old and in
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: high school. I've now had a boyfriend four five months,
• 32:47
  Speaker 1: and neither of us had had our first kiss. A
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: group of friends and I are planning to hang out
• 32:52
  Speaker 1: on New Year's so he've probably been up in the archives.
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: It's coming on. It's coming on, and I feel like
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: this could be the right moment, but I just don't
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: know how to go about it with other people there,
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: and I feel like it might make things too awkward.
• 33:10
  Speaker 1: Side note, I also have something really big I need
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: to talk to him about. My mum was just diagnosed
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: with ALS. Do you know what that is?
• 33:19
  Speaker 2: Ah, I'm pretty sure that's what Stephen Hawking had. Oh really,
• 33:25
  Speaker 2: you know Tuesdays with Maury?
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 33:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah, pretty sure ALS is what killed him.
• 33:30
  Speaker 1: Oh shit, Yeah, that's fucking bad. Okay, Okay, And I
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: haven't wanted to bring it up with him because I
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: love the way things have been going and I don't
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: want things to change. I don't know if you know
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: much about ALS, but it's a hard thing for him
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: to have to support me through. Oh what a beautiful
• 33:47
  Speaker 1: way to look at it.
• 33:47
  Speaker 2: A hard thing for you to go through.
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah that's what I fucking mean. Far give me the
• 33:52
  Speaker 1: support you fucking did. Yeah, okay, So I kind of
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: have two different things I need advice on. What do
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: you guys, think, how should I go about my situation? Also,
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: thank you. I hope you have amazing holidays and I
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: love the pods so much.
• 34:08
  Speaker 2: Dang, thank you very much. How about tell a friend
• 34:10
  Speaker 2: to listen?
• 34:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah, shit, this one's all right. Let's tackle the
• 34:17
  Speaker 1: first kiss first? Easy, easy, easy, easy.
• 34:20
  Speaker 2: I know it's scary. I know it's scary, but so
• 34:25
  Speaker 2: so easy because your boyfriend and girlfriend, right, Yeah, he's
• 34:32
  Speaker 2: a sixteen year old boy and you're a sixteen year
• 34:36
  Speaker 2: old woman. You want to kiss him. I guarantee he
• 34:41
  Speaker 2: wants to kiss you, and this motherfucker is nervous out
• 34:43
  Speaker 2: of his mind. Go up to him and just be
• 34:48
  Speaker 2: like kiss me.
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: Oh really? Hell yeah at sixteen? True? I actually I
• 34:55
  Speaker 1: would have loved that. But also, do you kind of
• 34:58
  Speaker 1: as a woman in this, do you want him to
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: make the move?
• 35:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 35:04
  Speaker 1: You do, but also I kind of like like grabbing
• 35:07
  Speaker 1: it by the balls and doing it yourself as well.
• 35:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you send him away, send him away? You can
• 35:11
  Speaker 2: hype him up.
• 35:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah, what was your first kiss?
• 35:15
  Speaker 2: First? Proper?
• 35:17
  Speaker 1: Peck or then let's go peck because I feel like
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: hook ups like after one, you get like fucking in
• 35:22
  Speaker 1: the groove, Like I mean, peck, because that's the scariest
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: because you've never made made lips with another person before.
• 35:27
  Speaker 2: I think my my my first kiss was so and
• 35:33
  Speaker 2: we're talking peck just like a little peck on the lips.
• 35:38
  Speaker 2: Was year seven.
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: I think, oh might have been year six, year six
• 35:50
  Speaker 1: or seven.
• 35:50
  Speaker 2: I know who yours were, I know your story. Who
• 35:54
  Speaker 2: starts with a name? Yeah it does. My first kiss
• 36:00
  Speaker 2: was in year seven. I remember had a girlfriend named
• 36:05
  Speaker 2: Kate with a c heah. Yeah, my stepmom's name is Kate,
• 36:09
  Speaker 2: and she wasn't my girlfriend. It was okay.
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: Got to make a differentiation, clearly.
• 36:16
  Speaker 2: I actually I had gotten in a bit of trouble
• 36:20
  Speaker 2: right before lunch, so I had been told I have
• 36:23
  Speaker 2: to like stay back for ten minutes into my lunch break.
• 36:26
  Speaker 2: That was my that was my punishment. And then when
• 36:30
  Speaker 2: I was just in my little mini detention, I had
• 36:36
  Speaker 2: so my girlfriend Kate at the time, her friends were
• 36:41
  Speaker 2: messaging me saying like, Kate wants a kiss.
• 36:44
  Speaker 4: Shit.
• 36:45
  Speaker 1: It's like I was like, Okay.
• 36:51
  Speaker 2: The walk from that fucking like little detention, I tell you,
• 36:54
  Speaker 2: under that fucking ovaal or wherever we were was stressful,
• 36:59
  Speaker 2: and then.
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: We pecked sit Yeah, how nerve wracking, is it though?
• 37:04
  Speaker 2: So nerve wracking. And then and then first proper kiss
• 37:10
  Speaker 2: was on I was sixteen, so it would have been
• 37:14
  Speaker 2: year nine or ten. Nah, really no, it was at
• 37:19
  Speaker 2: a I was at a kind of just like a
• 37:22
  Speaker 2: small we used to call them. It might have been
• 37:26
  Speaker 2: more of a house party, but we used to call
• 37:28
  Speaker 2: them gathers. Yeah, gathering at my house was called to gather.
• 37:32
  Speaker 2: And then we'd also have gatherings down at the beach,
• 37:33
  Speaker 2: like a gather at the beach. Anyway, So I was
• 37:36
  Speaker 2: at this house party and I just was sitting with
• 37:41
  Speaker 2: this girl I guess I kind of had a crush
• 37:43
  Speaker 2: on at the time, and we were both just like
• 37:47
  Speaker 2: sitting there. Everyone left the room. Don't even know if
• 37:49
  Speaker 2: it was like because they wanted us to kiss or anything.
• 37:51
  Speaker 2: I just remember them all leaving him. We both stayed
• 37:54
  Speaker 2: and then we just like made out. And she's with
• 37:58
  Speaker 2: one of our friends now and has been for like
• 38:00
  Speaker 2: six or seven years.
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I know who you're talking about.
• 38:03
  Speaker 2: Shit crazy, that's so funny. My first hook up was
• 38:07
  Speaker 2: it was the first time I ever drank. Oh as well.
• 38:11
  Speaker 1: It was on New Year's I want to say twenty sixteen,
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: maybe twenty seventeen, because I was a late bloomer, so
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: I was a bit late to the scene that late.
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: What s that late. I remember rocking up to this
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: party and it was like half an hour away. I
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: was in a different car or something, and I don't
• 38:30
  Speaker 1: know what happened to me, and one mate couldn't get
• 38:31
  Speaker 1: into the party, and three of our other mates were
• 38:33
  Speaker 1: already in there, and by the time we got in
• 38:35
  Speaker 1: it was like an hour later than them. They'd like
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: teed up a girl to hook up with me. What
• 38:40
  Speaker 1: the fuck? And I like got in there and I
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: wasn't that like drunk or anything, because I've just been
• 38:45
  Speaker 1: sitting outside and like, oh I had this girl, see
• 38:47
  Speaker 1: its super keen, and then like I told you it
• 38:48
  Speaker 1: was good looking, and she's like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 38:50
  Speaker 1: We just kissed in front of him. All what that's hilarious.
• 38:54
  Speaker 1: That was worth the wait?
• 38:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I get into the party.
• 38:58
  Speaker 1: Went the hour wait. Yeah, fucking And I feel like
• 39:01
  Speaker 1: even kissing as well, Like it always feels like there's
• 39:04
  Speaker 1: so much pressure on you when everyone's watching, like she said,
• 39:07
  Speaker 1: but in the end, no one goes.
• 39:08
  Speaker 2: A fuck, and even if people do are kind of
• 39:11
  Speaker 2: like whoa, let's go, who gives a fuck?
• 39:14
  Speaker 1: I remember in year seven or eight it was my
• 39:18
  Speaker 1: second kiss. It might have been you ate, what was
• 39:20
  Speaker 1: it called? When we were in high school and all
• 39:22
  Speaker 1: the year seven's like sat in the same spot, remember that,
• 39:27
  Speaker 1: the hasty, the hasty, hasty, And I was seeing this
• 39:32
  Speaker 1: girl and I reckon. There was like twenty or thirty
• 39:34
  Speaker 1: people around us, and they were all like chanting, kiss, kiss, kiss,
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: that's the worst, and we did it. I was like,
• 39:40
  Speaker 1: this is the fucking worst thing of my life.
• 39:42
  Speaker 6: That's the teenagers are fucking gruesome, alright, So just go
• 39:49
  Speaker 6: for it if you want them to take the lead,
• 39:51
  Speaker 6: Like just say something to him like I want to
• 39:53
  Speaker 6: kiss you, but I want you to do it.
• 39:54
  Speaker 2: It's like just you got to manufacture this shit in
• 39:57
  Speaker 2: the end. Really, I got it. I'm telling you. Just
• 39:59
  Speaker 2: tell one of your friends to and you said it,
• 40:00
  Speaker 2: like like can you just grow up and be like oh,
• 40:03
  Speaker 2: she just keeps saying he hasn't kissed yet, and I
• 40:05
  Speaker 2: really wanted to kiss me, like New Years would be
• 40:07
  Speaker 2: sick and then he'll kiss you.
• 40:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I had that exact thing happened to a girlfriend once,
• 40:11
  Speaker 1: like our first kiss. Her friend like she wants you
• 40:13
  Speaker 1: to kiss her, and I was like, okay, all right.
• 40:17
  Speaker 1: And then it's because when you're young, I don't have
• 40:22
  Speaker 1: the communications girls to like talk. Yeah.
• 40:25
  Speaker 2: And it's also like when you're young, like a kiss
• 40:28
  Speaker 2: is a big thing, like at sixteen to me, like
• 40:31
  Speaker 2: when I forgot my first hookup, like a hookup to
• 40:34
  Speaker 2: us is like making out with someone.
• 40:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 40:36
  Speaker 2: But when I got my first hook up, I remember
• 40:37
  Speaker 2: being like, oh, pop my cherry.
• 40:44
  Speaker 1: I remember actually fucking so you came to our high
• 40:47
  Speaker 1: school midway through year seven, did yeah? Yeah, I remember
• 40:51
  Speaker 1: I reckon. I resented you a little bit because all
• 40:54
  Speaker 1: the girls frock JK. This little Canadian guy fucking long,
• 40:59
  Speaker 1: like medium blonde hair, massive carves, quite tall. I remember
• 41:03
  Speaker 1: like because he came halfway through the year, everyone else
• 41:06
  Speaker 1: had already been there, everyone else has already been susy.
• 41:08
  Speaker 2: He was like fresh exciting.
• 41:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah, he was fresh meat, and all the girls like
• 41:12
  Speaker 1: fucking froughing him.
• 41:13
  Speaker 2: It was exciting.
• 41:14
  Speaker 1: I had.
• 41:14
  Speaker 2: I had multiple people that I ended up becoming friends with,
• 41:17
  Speaker 2: like maybe more like back in the year eight and
• 41:18
  Speaker 2: year nine that tell me, like I hated you in
• 41:21
  Speaker 2: year seven and I was like I didn't even know
• 41:23
  Speaker 2: you were that must have started.
• 41:27
  Speaker 1: That's so funny. And then the other half of the
• 41:30
  Speaker 1: dilemma als super hard to deal with. Firstly, sorry that
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: you have to go through that, And like we said
• 41:39
  Speaker 1: when we read it, it's gonna be a hard thing
• 41:42
  Speaker 1: for him to support you through. I guess yes, But
• 41:46
  Speaker 1: also switch to mindset like you're going through it, tell
• 41:49
  Speaker 1: him everything and just see how he reacts, and he
• 41:52
  Speaker 1: should just be a nice man and be there to
• 41:53
  Speaker 1: support you no matter what comes into the equation with
• 41:56
  Speaker 1: als and what you need to do for your mum
• 41:58
  Speaker 1: and what happens emotionally in everything. And I think, just yeah,
• 42:02
  Speaker 1: I don't think you should sugarcoat it.
• 42:05
  Speaker 2: No, just that you should just say my mum's recently
• 42:09
  Speaker 2: been dinos als explained to him exactly what it is. Yeah,
• 42:13
  Speaker 2: And then it's also up to you really like I
• 42:17
  Speaker 2: think that let me think about this. I think obviously
• 42:24
  Speaker 2: you're starting to probably catch some pretty solid feelings for
• 42:27
  Speaker 2: your boyfriend. It's been a few months, Like you are
• 42:29
  Speaker 2: quite young still, but you obviously assume you recognize. But like,
• 42:35
  Speaker 2: if it even gets too hard for you to have
• 42:37
  Speaker 2: a boyfriend, like it's going to be hard because you
• 42:40
  Speaker 2: then have your feelings and also his feelings, like you
• 42:44
  Speaker 2: want to be a good girlfriend, Like, don't hesitate to
• 42:48
  Speaker 2: be the one to do the breaking up if you
• 42:50
  Speaker 2: just want some fucking space to care about yourself exactly.
• 42:53
  Speaker 2: And your mom yeah yeah, and your mom like of course.
• 42:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And that makes it hard, And like, I guess
• 43:01
  Speaker 1: you've just been drawn a really short straw in a
• 43:05
  Speaker 1: sense of life can be really really hard and you're sixteen,
• 43:11
  Speaker 1: and this is something you have to experience now, and
• 43:14
  Speaker 1: I guess just like it really shows a person's true
• 43:18
  Speaker 1: colors when life is really really hard. So just be
• 43:22
  Speaker 1: open and honest with everything. And I dare say you've
• 43:26
  Speaker 1: probably picked a nice man and I think he'll just
• 43:27
  Speaker 1: support you through that hopefully. Yeah, and just do the right. Yeah,
• 43:31
  Speaker 1: that's all you can.
• 43:32
  Speaker 2: Do, one hundred percent.
• 43:33
  Speaker 1: I think.
• 43:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's the best of us I could give.
• 43:35
  Speaker 1: I'm really sorry.
• 43:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, look, I mean I think we'll end it there,
• 43:40
  Speaker 2: but is if you like this episode.
• 43:42
  Speaker 1: We we've said it on the Instagram, We've said it
• 43:46
  Speaker 1: on I think we've said it on Patreon maybe as well.
• 43:49
  Speaker 1: Eight stars, eight stars, eight K five stars, book Clubs
• 43:53
  Speaker 1: coming Back. I said that, Yeah, I said it.
• 43:55
  Speaker 2: We really need, like oney, four hundred of you.
• 43:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and we'll do it. We just need to put
• 44:01
  Speaker 1: your money where your mouth is. Give us five stars
• 44:03
  Speaker 1: on Spotify, and then we will bring back book Club.
• 44:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah because throwing of glass specifically. Yeah, because we could
• 44:13
  Speaker 1: go into like the logistics of like why book Club
• 44:16
  Speaker 1: was a fucking trek, but no one cares about that.
• 44:18
  Speaker 1: If you just do five stars and we'll do it
• 44:20
  Speaker 1: for a four year yeah, exactly. Well, yeah, we'll work honor.
• 44:26
  Speaker 2: You work for us, we'll work for you.
• 44:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's it, all right, baddies.
• 44:30
  Speaker 2: We love that. Tell a friend to tell a friend
• 44:32
  Speaker 2: to listen to the pot I'm going to start saying that.
• 44:34
  Speaker 1: I keep on.
• 44:34
  Speaker 2: I feel like word of mouth is the best way
• 44:36
  Speaker 2: to get a podcast out there. I agree.
• 44:38
  Speaker 1: I reckon we should take it like one step further.
• 44:40
  Speaker 1: So you know how like in a relationship, you shouldn't
• 44:43
  Speaker 1: go on a partner's phone, Yeah, like without their permission. Yeah,
• 44:48
  Speaker 1: I reckon what the baddies should do now that we're
• 44:51
  Speaker 1: like ninety percent women, and I think would be very
• 44:55
  Speaker 1: beneficial for men to listen to our podcast. Go on
• 44:58
  Speaker 1: your boyfriend's phone with at him looking and then go
• 45:01
  Speaker 1: on to spot Spotify and follow us. Yeah, and then
• 45:05
  Speaker 1: it'll come up on his little like you know how
• 45:07
  Speaker 1: you get like six things recent songs DJ and like
• 45:09
  Speaker 1: all your recent played and then every time we post,
• 45:13
  Speaker 1: it'll pop up that relatables to a Poston And eventually
• 45:17
  Speaker 1: he'll just be like, oh, what's relatable? Why is it
• 45:18
  Speaker 1: always here? And then you'll start listening, and then you'll
• 45:20
  Speaker 1: get great hips to be a good boyfriend in a relationship.
• 45:22
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah.
• 45:23
  Speaker 2: I Also another great reason to get your boyfriend to listen,
• 45:26
  Speaker 2: right is if you have a boyfriend, which I assume
• 45:30
  Speaker 2: a fair few of you do, Yeah, just start just
• 45:33
  Speaker 2: start begging him to listen to the pod.
• 45:35
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 45:35
  Speaker 2: And then if you have an issue with your boyfriend
• 45:38
  Speaker 2: that you're a little bit like scared to bring up
• 45:40
  Speaker 2: and you do want some advice on and you want
• 45:42
  Speaker 2: but like you also want him to see your point
• 45:43
  Speaker 2: of view because he's not send in a dilemma that's
• 45:47
  Speaker 2: like almost an exact situation you guys are going through,
• 45:50
  Speaker 2: but not exactly. So then if he brings it up
• 45:51
  Speaker 2: like is this us, you could be like, oh no,
• 45:53
  Speaker 2: what was the situation? Like I listened to but it's
• 45:56
  Speaker 2: like similar enough for him to like reflect on himself.
• 46:00
  Speaker 1: Do that. Yeah, ship, and I'll go one further too.
• 46:06
  Speaker 1: If your boyfriend can't make you finish on Patreon, we're
• 46:09
  Speaker 1: gonna we have to do it on Patreon. What a
• 46:12
  Speaker 1: tutorial on how to go down a pleasure a woman?
• 46:18
  Speaker 1: Yes yes, yes, yes yes yes that's on Patreon.
• 46:24
  Speaker 7: So not because we need it, no no, no, but
• 46:29
  Speaker 7: we're always willing to learn exactly, yes, exactly, coming straight
• 46:35
  Speaker 7: from the source, and yeah, that should be fun.
• 46:38
  Speaker 1: We love you.
• 46:39
  Speaker 2: Stay bad