Latest / Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler / Bad Sisters with Sharon Horgan

Transcript

Bad Sisters with Sharon Horgan · Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hi, Catherine, Hi Chelsea.
• 0:02
  Speaker 2: Hi, I'm straight off of Texas. I just got from
• 0:07
  Speaker 2: home from Texas and you actually had fun. It seems
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: like we had a great time. That Texas crowds were amazing, Houston.
• 0:12
  Speaker 3: Dallas, Austin. It was really fun.
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: I had Yaminika was my special guest this weekend. She's
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: fucking crazy. We're gonna have her on the podcast. She
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: is crazy. She should be a mental institution, which is
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: why I'm going to stay very close by her side.
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: I'm so glad.
• 0:28
  Speaker 3: Dylan Mlvani was telling me that we ran into her.
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: We ran into Francis Tfo, the tennis player who I love,
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: who's such a great tennis player. We ran into my cousins,
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: friends everywhere. It was a real fun weekend in Texas.
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: I had a lot of tacos, but only one decent one.
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: We stopped at Bucky's. We have course, didn't travel with
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: any drugs there that would be illegal.
• 0:52
  Speaker 3: Oh but they have drugs there now. They have Delta nine.
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: Oh what does that?
• 0:56
  Speaker 3: That's that?
• 0:56
  Speaker 4: You know?
• 0:57
  Speaker 3: I feel like it's like uzu.
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: For you know, when they don't have real alcohol at
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: restaurants and they have uzu.
• 1:03
  Speaker 3: That's what I feel like deltonne is I'm not really
• 1:05
  Speaker 3: sure what Dalton nine is.
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: Actually, it's like cannabis, like if it's legal in Texas,
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: it's not.
• 1:09
  Speaker 3: I can't be real.
• 1:10
  Speaker 5: Is it like you get it from a gas station
• 1:12
  Speaker 5: sort of thing two from the nineties or that.
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: I don't know where you get it from, I mean
• 1:17
  Speaker 2: the pseudo fed Maybe I'm not sure. I'm not the
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: person to ask. I mean my study of cannabis has
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: like kind of taken.
• 1:22
  Speaker 3: A back seat. Yeah, you use the real stuff. But
• 1:25
  Speaker 3: and then I was just dealing with Yaminika.
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: I mean really, yeah, you know, she's a mess, and
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: she wants she's horny. She's horny all the time. She
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: loves to get action all the time. And I felt
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: like if she didn't get it from a man, she
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: was gonna come to me, do you know what I mean?
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: And I was like, like we were it was getting
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: very physical, and I was like, listen, I'm not the one.
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: Can you provide?
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: No, no, no, I can't. I'm not going down on anybody.
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: So that's what she was specifically looking for, Okay, and
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: then she stays at these terrible motels or hotels to
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: get points. I don't know where the points are going
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: or how you could even accumulate points at these places,
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: but whatever.
• 1:59
  Speaker 5: I mean, if you stay at a terrible motel to
• 2:01
  Speaker 5: get points, you can just get more stays at a
• 2:03
  Speaker 5: terrible motel.
• 2:04
  Speaker 3: I guess so, yeah, I guess so.
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: But we had a great time and then we came home,
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: and now we're home and then I'm shooting my I'm
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: shooting my special this weekend.
• 2:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you're going next home?
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: Yes, yes, great, I am so, I'm going to a
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: new wave here seek and Doug flipped out.
• 2:19
  Speaker 3: You know, it was funny.
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: I was in the car on the way home from
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: the airport and watching Instagram and there was this video
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: of this dog. It was in New Finland, so it
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: wasn't Doug like a chow, but New Finland black Newfoinlands
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: look a lot like Doug.
• 2:31
  Speaker 3: And the dog had the zoomies when his mom.
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: It was a video called Mama's Mama's Home and he
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: the dog went nuts and nuts and nuts. And I
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: literally walked in the door and that's exactly what Doug did.
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: So it was like life imitating art.
• 2:43
  Speaker 3: That's incredible. Yeah, yeah, he went nuts.
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: I mean he was airborne a couple of times, just
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: jumping over things.
• 2:49
  Speaker 3: So that was exciting.
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: It's nice to have a man who was just like,
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: so excited to see you.
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: And also when I don't put the pressure on the
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: relationship with Doug, when I'm not like, of course, I'm
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: all over him and I want, you know, to be
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: with him, inside of him. But when I don't put
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: the pressure on it and I let him do his thing,
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: he is actually much more. Like he came into bed
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: twice the night before last, and last night he came
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: into bed and that was so sweet, Like I didn't
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: ask him to, he just hopped up and wanted to cuddle.
• 3:14
  Speaker 3: I love that.
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: That's very sweet.
• 3:15
  Speaker 5: I feel like Chow personalities are a little more cat like. Yeah,
• 3:18
  Speaker 5: they're like them alone, they come to you.
• 3:20
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you have to leave them alone.
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: And you know, I didn't learn that lesson with Burton Bernice,
• 3:24
  Speaker 2: but I'm learning it with Doug.
• 3:25
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Well, this says I'm excited about our guest today.
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: She's responsible for catastrophe Bad Sisters. Bad Sisters is in
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: season two on Apple right now, so please give a
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: warm welcome to Sharon Horgan.
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: Who's a lucky duckling. Today we are me.
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: Oh my god, where are you? You look like you're
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: It's such a nicely designed studio.
• 3:50
  Speaker 3: Room in a Where are you in it?
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: Carlton?
• 3:54
  Speaker 3: It smells like a ritz Carlton from where I sit.
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it really does. It's thirty seventh floors up, which
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: means your soup's cold when he gets here.
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: Sharon, Are you drinking a cocktail at eleven in the
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: morning or where are you?
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: I wish I was as soon as I finished this.
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: Well, first of all, I would always recommend having a
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: cocktail when talking to me. But I was on a
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: plane yesterday at like nine am and they this guy
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: next to me ordered a bourbon and coke and I
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: almost threw up in my mouth. I was like, why
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: does it have to be a bourbon and coke at
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: nine o'clock in the morning.
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: That's not one of the designated breakfast drinks, you know,
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: because exactly right, Memosa is a breakfast drink. Acceptable. Let
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: me marry is a breakfast drink if you could drink
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: of bourbon. Breakfast is Christmas Day when old drinks are
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: old drinks are legal.
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Sharon, speaking of early morning drinking, I mean you
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: are Irish and isn't that where.
• 4:53
  Speaker 3: Early morning drinking began in Ireland?
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: I think so that's what the scriptures say, the ancient ones.
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: We're very we are very good at drinking. I quit
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: for nearly three years, though, so that was a weird
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: sort of landscape to be in. Whenever I go back home,
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: that was an odd one.
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: Why did you quit for three years?
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: Why? No, there was a good reason, I tell I'll
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: tell you why. It was at the end of COVID
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: and every everyone's drinking had just gotten out of control.
• 5:24
  Speaker 3: I think, I know, but three years is a long commitment.
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: I know. I had, like in fairness, I had like
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: if someone got married, I'd have a glass of champagne
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: and drink like half of it. I suddenly just became
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: freaked out that I wasn't like if I had a
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: drink then I'd sort of get professional again. And we
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: were just partying all through COVID, and one night I
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: was this is sounds so middle class. I was shocking oysters,
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: and I put the thing with the shukka through my hand.
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: It's not the scar and I was just like, oh
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: fuck it, and I'm carried on with the knives. I
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: woke up the next morning and I couldn't move my hand.
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: There was a little of my pillow, and I went
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: to hospital. I thought I should probably just like CHILLNKH,
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: just chill out for a bit and then and then,
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: you know, the way if you're someone who is a
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: bit you know, I just got really into it. I
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: got really into not drinking, the way people who like
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: to drink get into drinking. So I found that I
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: was really good at it. And then, you know, I
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: guess the novelty wore off a little bit.
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think everything's good to experiment with for a
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: few years here and a few years there, sobriety included.
• 6:36
  Speaker 3: I like it sometimes.
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: I mean sometimes I feel like I think everyone had
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: a very similar experience in COVID unless you were sober
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: and your and your sobriety was probably challenged or threatened.
• 6:45
  Speaker 3: But yeah, I mean, there wasn't much going on.
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: I took lots and lots of drugs, mushrooms, edibles. Throughout
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: my COVID experience. I went to heights I had never
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: seen before.
• 6:55
  Speaker 3: I just wanted to see it.
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: At a certain point, like I just started experimenting with
• 6:58
  Speaker 2: my own body. I'm like, what can I handle? Like
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: I felt like a mac truck. I'm like, can anything
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: take me down? But I want to make sure everyone listening.
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: That's not for everyone, that's just for me. So, Sharon,
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: I first caught wind of view in a big way
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: with Catastrophe, which is still to this day. You and
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: Rob Delaney in that show was so fucking funny. Every
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: scene in that show was so ridiculous and so well written.
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: I was like, who is this woman? And I wanted
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: I have to do something with you. At some point,
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: you have to put me in one of your shows
• 7:30
  Speaker 2: because I just want to hang out and be stupid.
• 7:33
  Speaker 3: Yes, please do but and then she chops that off.
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: Hang on, didn't we ask you to be Rob sister?
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: I think we did in Catastrophe? Im No, I don't know,
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: not that I know about it. I think so, well,
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: next offer you, I just switched agents.
• 7:48
  Speaker 2: That's probably why. Next time you have something for me,
• 7:51
  Speaker 2: go to wm ME. They'll let me know.
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: All right, we'll do.
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: But after that I saw the next time I was
• 7:57
  Speaker 2: so you left that show.
• 7:58
  Speaker 3: Sorry.
• 7:58
  Speaker 2: How many seasons was catastroph.
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: We did four, which is a lot for the UK.
• 8:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and it felt like you could have done more.
• 8:07
  Speaker 2: But probably wise to leave before.
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, I think that sort of stage of having kids,
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: we sort of felt like we'd done it, you know,
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: we'd said everything we wanted to say about that particular
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: era of having young children. But like maybe we always
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: sort of talked about down the line, whether teenagers or something,
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: we might revisit it. It's different now, though, I think
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: we'd both feel a bit like, oh shit, what do
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: we do? I'd rather write something new with him because
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: we had such a great time.
• 8:34
  Speaker 3: I know, I knew could get together. It was such
• 8:37
  Speaker 3: an unusual.
• 8:38
  Speaker 2: Show for that time because it was very unique idea
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: about these two people just hooking up, not knowing each
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: other and getting pregnant and then staying together, which is
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: just so crazy to even think about doing. But your
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: chemistry together, you should definitely be doing more stuff together.
• 8:53
  Speaker 3: It's so fun to watch as if you were.
• 8:55
  Speaker 2: And as a comedian, you know, I don't find many
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: things funny because I'm I guess I don't know why
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: that is.
• 9:02
  Speaker 3: I get it.
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: I mean, we were obsessive about the amount of jokes
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: that had to be in it. We were quite we
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: had really strong opinions about how many jokes there had
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: to be in her page, and I think my sitcom
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: background was funny, really funny sitcom, and Rob's background was
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: stand up and you know, he's just a naturally one
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: of the funniest people you could ever meet. So we
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: would sort of read it out all the time, and
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: if it didn't feel like there was a high level
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: of jokes through about sort of we would get panicky.
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: And it was kind of the first one of the
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: first things we thought about. I mean character obviously, but
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: then it was just jokes.
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: I feel like true comedians just care more about the
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: comedy and then the character comes after and if there's enough,
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: like I know, that's the opposite way of professionally like
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: as any writer would look at anything, they're always like, no,
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: this character wouldn't do. I'm like, but it's not funny.
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: Let's make it fucking funny. That's what the relief is
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: for viewers to really be laughing at something, you know,
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: at the absurdity.
• 10:00
  Speaker 3: You left that show. You guys were done with that.
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: So for those of you who have not seen it,
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: Bad Sisters is out season two, but please watch season
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: one first, because this show talk about original concepts and
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: talk about great characters. I mean, I'm from a big family.
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: I know, Sharon, you're from a big family as well.
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: I love nothing more than sisters. I have two sisters.
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: Whenever I we have sisters call into the show with problems,
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: I am so sister positive. And this show is so
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: fucking funny because there are five sisters five or four four.
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: Five five all together?
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, five sisters altogether, Okay, five sisters who are all
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: very different, who all and they have one sister who
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: has a total douchebag for a husband. And this guy
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: plays this role to a tea. I mean, he is repugnant.
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: He like you, you are your vagina closes when you
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: watch him.
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: It's amazing. It's amazing because he's a handsome mom. Like
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: he's a you know, tall, dark, handsome mom, but he
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: is he absolutely does close your I know, like as
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: same as.
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: Because totally the sisters are all plotting together to figure
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: out a way to get their sister away from this man.
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: And then it becomes and it's also set in Ireland,
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: so it's so beautiful to see and so refreshing to
• 11:15
  Speaker 2: see another backdrop like that. Just even the architecture and
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: your houses and the design.
• 11:21
  Speaker 3: Of being in a different country.
• 11:22
  Speaker 2: It's just so refreshing from American television, you know, and
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: our an American La La Land. Our new fad, which
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: I'm sure you're very well aware of, is everything needs
• 11:31
  Speaker 2: this gorgeous backdrop, you know, it's that got to be
• 11:34
  Speaker 2: like a white lotus or perfect couple, like everything's in
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: Nantucket and it's like, I don't like that. That's not
• 11:40
  Speaker 2: relatable at all. It's very real and gritty. As what
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: I'm saying, it.
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: Is real, and I guess you know, there's an aspirational
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: element to it and that you know, people want to
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: be part of a big family, and there's sort of
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: a wish fulfillment that comes with deciding that you'll kill
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: someone That awful plenty to sort of look at and enjoy.
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: But we always thought it has to look real, like
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: the women have to look real in it, because if
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: it's not real, and if people don't believe this setup
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: and these women and their connection, they're not going to
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: get behind them in the same way you kind of
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: had to get behind them every episode they tried to
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: kill them, so in order to sort of make that
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: conceit work and to really feel like you were behind
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: killing a man, I think it had to be truthful
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: as much as.
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: Possible, which is something I've always dreamt of doing with
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: my own family group, you know, picking one of our
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: like my sibling spouses and just getting rid of them forever.
• 12:38
  Speaker 2: Like that sounds like it's such a how did you
• 12:40
  Speaker 2: come up with that concept?
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: Oh? Well, I can't. I can't take credit for that.
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: So it's based on a Belgian series called Clam, which
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: was a marvelous same conceit. I mean, it was completely
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: different execution that it was way crazier, Like there was
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: a lot more murders than a lot like you know,
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: collateral damage, whereas I was kind of really interested in
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: the emotional side of it, you know, and the impact
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: that being in that kind of abiece of relationship would
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: have on Grace and on the sisters. And they hired
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: hit men and dead bodies ended up in dog food
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: sort of factories, and you know it. It was kind
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: of ott. But the central conceit of these five sisters
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: and their bond and one of them being married to
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: a prick, and just like, we've got to save her
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: before we lose her entirely that that already existed, So
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: I was really lucky to get that. For the second season,
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: I had to think it up myself.
• 13:42
  Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly, So how did you tackle that?
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: I suppose I was really interested in what would happen next,
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: Like the end of the first season, I loved, you know, great,
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: he's dead and they're back together and they saved her
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: and she jumps into the water into the forty foot
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: with and it was lovely, but it was also kind
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: of a fairy tale, I guess, fairy tale ending for her,
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: And I think the idea of what would really happen
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: and how someone is as good as Grace would be
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: able to just get on with their life after that,
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: like how the guilt with eat her up. And also,
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: you know, someone like that who would have isoolated herself
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: for all those years and sort of would try and
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: hide the kind of relationship she was in and how
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: abusive it was, wouldn't be very good at like going
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: to her sisters then and opening up if something, if
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: something else terrible happened. So so yeah, I just actually
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: felt it was closer to the kind of things I
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: used to write, you know, Like I loved writing the
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: first season and the thriller and the Caper and all that,
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: but actually the real true fallout of being in a
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: situation like that, I found kind of easier, you know, naturally,
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: kind of easier to dig into.
• 14:54
  Speaker 2: It's also great that you write all your stuff and
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: then you star in your own stuff and you're a
• 14:58
  Speaker 2: fifty four year old w I would like to say, so,
• 15:02
  Speaker 2: I grew up in this industry when I was coming up.
• 15:04
  Speaker 2: I'm going to be fifty next year, when I grew up.
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: Every when I grew up, but when I was coming
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: up and all my actress friends were I had one
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: specific actress friend who was like, everyone becomes invisible when
• 15:14
  Speaker 2: they're forty, Like you are no longer valuable, You will
• 15:17
  Speaker 2: no longer be looked at the same way. And I
• 15:19
  Speaker 2: always thought, no, that can't be true, Like that depends
• 15:23
  Speaker 2: where your value was coming from.
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: I had thought exactly the same thing. I thought exactly
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: the same thing. I remember my agent taking me out
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: for lunch on one of the visits to LA I
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: used to make lots of pilots and nothing got picked up,
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: and I started getting more and more like panicky. And
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: I remember taking out for luncheon. I think I was
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: only like early forties Max, and I was like this
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: is we got with the time because very soon no
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: one's gonna want to see this. But I think that
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: must have been what I was seeing around me. You know,
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: there was that huge jump where women just sort of
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: disap heed until they were you know, Judy Dunch or
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: Maggie Smith or it kind of felt like you could
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: be up to a certain age where you were acceptable
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: and then you kind of had to just fuck off
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: for a bit and then you can come back when
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: you're a crone. And so I guess that's all I
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: say nervous about. But I mean, that's not entirety change,
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: but it is. I think it's changed a lot, and
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: I think it changed.
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: I think, especially when we consider like where we are
• 16:24
  Speaker 2: politically right now. The reason why men are so you know,
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: so scared of female empowerment and female success is because
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: it threat you know, that's threatening to them, right because
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: we wouldn't be at this moment if they didn't really
• 16:38
  Speaker 2: see women succeeding in ways that we hadn't been before.
• 16:41
  Speaker 3: We obviously have way more work to do, but.
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: It is it is a threat to this male white
• 16:46
  Speaker 2: supremacy idea that so many females are in charge of
• 16:50
  Speaker 2: their own lives, that are single, that are business women,
• 16:52
  Speaker 2: that are creatives, and in all sorts of areas of business,
• 16:56
  Speaker 2: not just Hollywood so exactly.
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: I mean, when it comes down to it comes down
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: to commerce all the time, doesn't it. And there was
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: definitely their their cava point where you just couldn't deny
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: the fact that female content, whether it was created by
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: or written or starring was was getting watched by not
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: just a specific demographic of women of a certain age.
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: You know, I had this wide audience and somebody comes
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: once it, Once it comes down to that, I think
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: they have to sort of believe it.
• 17:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and women there's more women than men, and women buy.
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: I spend more money than men, and.
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: We live longer spending it for me.
• 17:34
  Speaker 3: Because we're happier once the men are gone.
• 17:36
  Speaker 2: We can live even longer because it's less stressful for
• 17:39
  Speaker 2: anyone who's married.
• 17:40
  Speaker 3: You're not married though, right, you're divorced.
• 17:42
  Speaker 6: I I don't. Yeah, I got I got my graduate boards,
• 17:51
  Speaker 6: I got my uh, I forget what it's called decree
• 17:54
  Speaker 6: absolute yesterday.
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: Wow, thank you. You deserve a party. I know I am
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: going to party tonight. I have good boyfriend there and
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: that's lovely, but it took so long. I mean COVID
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: came in the middle of it all and all sorts
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: of shit, but it just came through. Yes, I was
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: sitting in a cab and it came through and it
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: was just such a nickel kidman moment.
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, underful, totally. How long were you married for? How
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: many years?
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: I can't remember. No, I think fifteen or something fifteen
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: a while.
• 18:30
  Speaker 3: And you have two children?
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, I have two amazing girls. I've got a
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: twenty one year old daughter and a sixteen year.
• 18:36
  Speaker 3: Old Oh nice. Oh that's nice. And they're even almost cooked.
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah it's handy now, yeah, they can look after each other. Yeah,
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: it's great.
• 18:44
  Speaker 2: I would suppose it's meaningful for you to be able
• 18:47
  Speaker 2: to go and shoot in Ireland, right.
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: It's huge. I mean it's something I was looking to
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: do for years. You know. I left Onland when I
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: was really young, like twenty, and it took so long
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: for me to get my career off the ground. But
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: when I did start filming, but it'd start start writing
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: my own stuff. It was just something I was slightly
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: obsessed with doing, like getting back there and filming something
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: at some point. But it took a long time, like
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: it took until I was fifty to find the thing
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: that that would be. But Bad Sisters happened to be
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: the perfect thing because it really studed harden because we
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: all have big families. No one used any precautions. Everything
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: kind of made sense in terms of setting it there.
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: But yeah, I was thrilled.
• 19:30
  Speaker 3: And so when you let's go back to that.
• 19:33
  Speaker 2: I like to think this will be very important for
• 19:34
  Speaker 2: our listeners since they're all women about your success. You
• 19:38
  Speaker 2: were talking to you when you're talking to your agent
• 19:39
  Speaker 2: and your forties, like, okay, time is sticking.
• 19:41
  Speaker 3: Let's go.
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: What when did you first experience your big first success.
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: My big first break I think was when I got
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: my first sitcom made. I mean before that, I was doing,
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: you know, writing for a bit for radio and doing
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: like some sketch comedy and that kind of thing. But
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: I think I was thirty eight.
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: I love that I didn't get successful until I was
• 20:06
  Speaker 2: thirty twoish. It was when I really started to like
• 20:09
  Speaker 2: people started to know who I was.
• 20:11
  Speaker 3: But many years led up to that.
• 20:13
  Speaker 2: But people call into this show all the time thinking
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: and being and these are twenty year old girls worried
• 20:18
  Speaker 2: about when they're going to realize what their passion is.
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: It's like, oh my god, oh listen, it frustrates me
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: so much. But it's the same even with my own daughter,
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: just seeing her, my eldest girl, like stressing out about
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: not knowing what she wants. And I was like Jesus,
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: I was working as a chamber made a bar made
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: a waitress, working in a job center, selling bonds, selling powershowers.
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: I did all of that right the way through my
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: twenties into my early thirties before I figured out if
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: I really try, then I can probably do this thing
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: that might make me happy. But yeah, I remember someone
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: saying to me when I was in my late twenties, saying,
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: very very straight and truthfully, going, if you haven't made
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: it by the time of twenty six year, make it.
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: And I was terrified at hearing this piece of wisdom
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: because I was like, well, I'm screwed them. But well,
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: you know, I there's a part of me that kind
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: of things. I wish i'd pushed myself a little harder,
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: you know. I wish I'd sort of had the confidence
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: to step out and try and make it happen sooner.
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: But at the same time. I'm really grateful for everything now,
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: like everything is a bonus, you know. And also I
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: had so much more to write about. There was so
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: much like living in low level accommodation, not having a
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: part to piss in all those terrible jobs like otherwise.
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: I don't know. I just feel like I feel like
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: it so rooted me and gave me something real to
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: write about and to draw on. So I should be
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: grateful for that.
• 21:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah, And I think there's so much more of a
• 21:55
  Speaker 2: groundedness that comes with success later in life, not prematurely.
• 21:59
  Speaker 2: I mean we see what have and when people become
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: successful prematurely, that's not a recipe for anything positive.
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: I mean they're ruined, an't they they? I Mean, I
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: know there's exceptions, but for the most part, Yeah, they're weirdos.
• 22:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah they are.
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: And I mean I always look back at my twenties
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: and I like when anyone calls in from their twenties,
• 22:17
  Speaker 2: I was like, I drank slept with me. My whole
• 22:20
  Speaker 2: twenties was just craziness and crazy behavior, and thank goodness,
• 22:26
  Speaker 2: like I had all those experiences the same thing. That's
• 22:29
  Speaker 2: where I got all my stories from, you know, that's wheah.
• 22:31
  Speaker 2: I started writing books and started doing stand up and
• 22:34
  Speaker 2: started learning about storytelling and what makes a good story,
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: you know, and all of those things are invaluable. So
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: it's like, I know, we're always eager to get to
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: the success part of our lives, but part of the road,
• 22:46
  Speaker 2: you know, the road getting there. And this always sounds
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: annoying coming from an older person, I know, but it
• 22:52
  Speaker 2: is the ride. It's the ride to get where you're
• 22:54
  Speaker 2: going that gives you all of the juice so that
• 22:57
  Speaker 2: when you get where you're going, you have tons of
• 22:59
  Speaker 2: fucking material.
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: Exactly. That's it, exactly. I mean my twenties were gross.
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: They smelt, they actually smelt.
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: On that note, we're going to take a break and
• 23:13
  Speaker 2: we'll be right back with Sharon Horgan. And we're back
• 23:21
  Speaker 2: with Sharon Horgan. Okay, Sharon, we're taking some questions from callers.
• 23:25
  Speaker 3: Okay, are you ready for this?
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 23:27
  Speaker 3: I am.
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 23:28
  Speaker 5: We have a very sister centric, almost exclusively a sister
• 23:32
  Speaker 5: centric episode today in real life.
• 23:34
  Speaker 3: Sharon, I need to know how many sisters do you have.
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: I've got two sisters, two brothers. My sister's one younger,
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: one older, and what number are you out of the
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: five I'm the second eldest.
• 23:45
  Speaker 5: Okay, all right, Well, before we go into questions, there
• 23:49
  Speaker 5: was something that we wanted to get talking about. What's
• 23:51
  Speaker 5: the craziest thing you've ever done for your sisters, A
• 23:54
  Speaker 5: time you covered for a sister, or the most outrageous
• 23:56
  Speaker 5: thing you did to protect a sister.
• 23:59
  Speaker 3: I asked, my sister, is that this morning?
• 24:01
  Speaker 2: I just flew in from Raleigh, North Carolina, where I
• 24:04
  Speaker 2: saw Pink last night, and I was I knew we
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: were going to talk to Sharon about and so I
• 24:10
  Speaker 2: texted my sisters and they reminded me. I'm the youngest
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: of six kids, and my sister was getting divorced and
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: I was going on Safari and there were five of us,
• 24:20
  Speaker 2: I think, and we had room for one more. And
• 24:22
  Speaker 2: I was like, oh, Simon, you should come with us
• 24:24
  Speaker 2: on safari. She's like Africa. Two weeks she was moving
• 24:27
  Speaker 2: into her new house. She got a divorce, so I
• 24:29
  Speaker 2: bought her a house. I want to just throw that
• 24:31
  Speaker 2: out there, which I would do again in a heartbeat,
• 24:36
  Speaker 2: and which I also ended up biting her in the
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: ass because the house.
• 24:41
  Speaker 3: She's like, I don't need a house like this.
• 24:43
  Speaker 2: This is too stupid and too big, and she's like,
• 24:46
  Speaker 2: and now I have to live in some house you.
• 24:48
  Speaker 3: Designated for me. So yeah, I think twice when you're
• 24:51
  Speaker 3: buying homes for people. But anyway, I said, come.
• 24:54
  Speaker 2: To Africa and she's like, okay, Chelsea, but I have
• 24:57
  Speaker 2: to be home by August fifteenth because we're moving into
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: the new house. And I was like, no problem. The
• 25:03
  Speaker 2: trip was going to go to August twentieth. But I
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: just was like whatever, I'll just get her movers. She
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: doesn't know what, you know, she doesn't have to go
• 25:09
  Speaker 2: back for the move. But when she got there, she assumed,
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: like you know that I had gotten her ticket to
• 25:15
  Speaker 2: come home on August fifteenth, and I was like, I
• 25:17
  Speaker 2: just went along with it until it was like August fourteenth,
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: and I was like, by the way, you're actually not
• 25:21
  Speaker 2: going home tomorrow.
• 25:22
  Speaker 3: You're going home on the twentieth.
• 25:23
  Speaker 2: And she's like, Chelsea, this is exactly why I don't
• 25:25
  Speaker 2: trust you, Like you can't just this is not based
• 25:28
  Speaker 2: on your desires to be around me. I have a responsibility.
• 25:31
  Speaker 2: I have to move my three children into a new
• 25:33
  Speaker 2: fucking house. I'm like, please, we'll hire movers for you.
• 25:36
  Speaker 2: We'll make your ex do it. That's the least he
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: could do. He's the reason for this divorce. And so
• 25:41
  Speaker 2: she didn't want to stay. She wanted to be responsible.
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: She had her three children. I convinced her. I was like,
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: it won't be the same if you leave, Like we're
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: in Botswana, Like, when are we going to come back here?
• 25:49
  Speaker 2: This is the trip of a lifetime, And I said.
• 25:53
  Speaker 2: I called my brother in law, my ex brother in law,
• 25:55
  Speaker 2: and I was like, you have to step up. This
• 25:57
  Speaker 2: is you're going to have to move them into the
• 25:59
  Speaker 2: house that they're moving to get away from you. I
• 26:01
  Speaker 2: was like, that's your responsibility. But she never forgave me,
• 26:06
  Speaker 2: and she doesn't trust me now on making any travel
• 26:08
  Speaker 2: plans because she thinks I'm only out for myself and
• 26:11
  Speaker 2: that I can't be trusted.
• 26:12
  Speaker 3: And she's not wrong. I'm totally out for myself.
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: Was it was the rest of the holiday? Good? Was
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: it worth? The right time?
• 26:21
  Speaker 3: We had a blast. I mean, she had the time
• 26:23
  Speaker 3: of her life.
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: And I'm like, you can't come to Africa for eight
• 26:26
  Speaker 2: days when you could stay for fourteen days?
• 26:28
  Speaker 3: You know what I mean, We're in Africa. When are
• 26:30
  Speaker 3: we coming back to Africa?
• 26:31
  Speaker 2: Turns out we went back like two years later, but
• 26:33
  Speaker 2: who knew then what was going to happen. So, yeah,
• 26:36
  Speaker 2: so that was an extra outrageous thing that I've done
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: for my sisters.
• 26:41
  Speaker 3: What's the most outrageous thing you've done for your sister?
• 26:44
  Speaker 6: Like?
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: Nothing? Nothing? Oh my IY was thinking, I'm sure, pretty
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: sure I held her hair the way when they vomited.
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: But like, so, you know, I don't have I mean nothing,
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: I've got no big story like that. That's extraordinary. Thank you,
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: thoughs thank you. I didn't even know what to say
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: to that. I mean, it doesn't sound like you were
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: doing it for.
• 27:07
  Speaker 3: Her, No, it doesn't, it does it.
• 27:10
  Speaker 2: I always think I'm going in for these things in
• 27:12
  Speaker 2: an altruistic way, and it turns out I'm only trying
• 27:14
  Speaker 2: to serve. I'm trying to service myself.
• 27:19
  Speaker 5: So Alison says, Dear Chelsea, I've had a complicated relationship
• 27:22
  Speaker 5: with my sister all my life. She's two and a
• 27:24
  Speaker 5: half years older than me, and for the most part,
• 27:26
  Speaker 5: we didn't see eye to eye until about fourteen years ago,
• 27:29
  Speaker 5: when her life fell apart and she moved to the
• 27:31
  Speaker 5: city where I live to start over. It was then
• 27:34
  Speaker 5: that she seemed to make family a priority. And get
• 27:36
  Speaker 5: into a better place in her own life. She met
• 27:38
  Speaker 5: someone and ended up getting married. She and her wife
• 27:41
  Speaker 5: relocated to another state and began fostering children. Over the
• 27:44
  Speaker 5: last few years, they adopted four children, who are now
• 27:47
  Speaker 5: all under the age of five. Over the years, she
• 27:50
  Speaker 5: continued to take on more and more with her wife's family,
• 27:53
  Speaker 5: her job, each adopted kid, and even additional foster care.
• 27:57
  Speaker 5: Our family kept warning her that she was doing too much,
• 27:59
  Speaker 5: and then a couple of months ago, she called to
• 28:01
  Speaker 5: tell me her marriage was over. She had not been
• 28:04
  Speaker 5: happy for the last couple of years, and she rekindled
• 28:06
  Speaker 5: a romance with an ex who cheated on her. She's
• 28:09
  Speaker 5: now trying to expedite a divorce and move in with
• 28:11
  Speaker 5: her ex. She plans to move straight into her house.
• 28:14
  Speaker 5: I'm so disappointed on so many levels with her. She
• 28:17
  Speaker 5: worked so hard to build this family and now she's
• 28:19
  Speaker 5: just throwing it all away. She's digging in her heels,
• 28:22
  Speaker 5: which is probably why we didn't get along for many years,
• 28:24
  Speaker 5: and treating her wife, my sister in law, like trash.
• 28:27
  Speaker 5: To make matters worse, she has a drinking problem and
• 28:29
  Speaker 5: has even begun taking amphetamines lately to lose weight. I'm
• 28:32
  Speaker 5: at a total loss. Should I just let her destroy
• 28:35
  Speaker 5: herself in her life or try an intervention? I'm grateful
• 28:38
  Speaker 5: to be communicating with my soon to be ex sister
• 28:40
  Speaker 5: in law so I can maintain a relationship with the kids.
• 28:42
  Speaker 3: Should I just leave it at that?
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: Alison? Oh my god?
• 28:48
  Speaker 3: What a hot mess?
• 28:49
  Speaker 2: Hi Allison, Hi, Hi, this is our special guest, Sharon Horgan.
• 28:54
  Speaker 6: Hi.
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: Share, nice to meet you. Y Wow, that's a loss.
• 29:00
  Speaker 4: It is feels pretty wreck when.
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: Where are all the kids? They're with her ex.
• 29:05
  Speaker 4: Yes, they're all, believe it or not, still under one roof.
• 29:08
  Speaker 4: For the most part. They haven't legally separated. But right
• 29:13
  Speaker 4: now my sister spends a lot of time with her
• 29:14
  Speaker 4: new girlfriend.
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: And do you and your sister talk a lot anyway?
• 29:19
  Speaker 7: No?
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: Not for how long?
• 29:21
  Speaker 4: Well we were up until this happened. And then once
• 29:25
  Speaker 4: I found out like how quickly she was moving, how
• 29:28
  Speaker 4: fast she wanted to go straight into this new relationship.
• 29:32
  Speaker 4: You know, how she wanted to force my sister in
• 29:34
  Speaker 4: law to move to Texas because that's where her girlfriend is.
• 29:37
  Speaker 4: You know, I just felt like.
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: Good luck with that, by the way, good luck with
• 29:40
  Speaker 2: having your girlfriend in Texas.
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: So exactly.
• 29:44
  Speaker 3: Oh, she sounds pretty unstable in this moment.
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: That's very accurate.
• 29:49
  Speaker 2: And I think when people are in that kind of
• 29:51
  Speaker 2: malstream of emotion like this, and they're using drugs and
• 29:54
  Speaker 2: they're trying to lose weight, and they're newly in love
• 29:57
  Speaker 2: and she just kind of ditched her family. Is she's
• 29:59
  Speaker 2: spending time with her children at all?
• 30:01
  Speaker 4: She is, I mean when she's there, but now spending
• 30:04
  Speaker 4: extended periods of time away, so she'll go for eight
• 30:07
  Speaker 4: and twelve days to go stay with her girlfriend.
• 30:11
  Speaker 2: Feels like to me, your relationship with her ex and
• 30:14
  Speaker 2: maintaining a relationship with all of her children is more
• 30:16
  Speaker 2: of a priority than doing an intervention, because I feel
• 30:19
  Speaker 2: like an intervention needs to happen at the last you know,
• 30:23
  Speaker 2: like it's not going to be well received in this Yeah,
• 30:26
  Speaker 2: she's not going to listen to you in this moment.
• 30:28
  Speaker 3: She's in love.
• 30:28
  Speaker 2: She's all over the map, and she's using amphetamines. Like,
• 30:31
  Speaker 2: there's not a lot for you to grab on to
• 30:33
  Speaker 2: you there right now, And I think it is paramount, right,
• 30:37
  Speaker 2: do you want to maintain a relationship with her children
• 30:39
  Speaker 2: and her ex probably could help with the support emotionally,
• 30:43
  Speaker 2: And I would think you're better, your time would be
• 30:45
  Speaker 2: better served focusing on them.
• 30:48
  Speaker 4: Absolutely. No, My sister in law has been very open.
• 30:51
  Speaker 4: She understands that I've been, you know, critical of both
• 30:54
  Speaker 4: of them. I don't think it was all my sister's fault,
• 30:58
  Speaker 4: and I knew that they were both making really bad
• 31:00
  Speaker 4: decisions along the way that led to this. But I
• 31:03
  Speaker 4: just kept pleading with my sister, like, get therapy, do
• 31:05
  Speaker 4: something first. Don't feel like this is the answer that's
• 31:08
  Speaker 4: going to change your life, because we all know that
• 31:11
  Speaker 4: it's not.
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: And but she was she always someone was your sister,
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: always someone who like was very sort of steadfast in
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: the idea of being right. Do you know what I mean?
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: Is she that kind of a.
• 31:25
  Speaker 4: Press Yeah, I would say, because she came out in
• 31:29
  Speaker 4: pretty early in life. She came out in eighth grade.
• 31:33
  Speaker 4: And this was back in the eighties when it was
• 31:35
  Speaker 4: not acceptable. I grew up in a very traditional Catholic family,
• 31:39
  Speaker 4: and so you know, my parents didn't know what to do,
• 31:42
  Speaker 4: and it was almost like, even back then, she dug
• 31:45
  Speaker 4: her heels in, became very rebellious. You know, she wasn't
• 31:48
  Speaker 4: going to listen to anyone, and pretty much ever since then,
• 31:51
  Speaker 4: that's been her approach, like I'm going to make you
• 31:53
  Speaker 4: accept me type.
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: Of right attitude. Yeah, this is all weirdly familiar to
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: me my sisters. Okay, but you know in terms of
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: someone's sort of moving on with something else and that
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: being their absolute focus and deciding to themselves that this
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: is the absolute right thing and this is what I
• 32:13
  Speaker 1: should be doing and not really listening. So when you're
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: kind of dealing with someone like that, it's sort of
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: best to sort of get out of the way a
• 32:22
  Speaker 1: little bit.
• 32:23
  Speaker 2: I would just save the intervention for when she's in
• 32:26
  Speaker 2: a different place. Don't blow that right now, because she's
• 32:30
  Speaker 2: not going to She's not going to hear you right now,
• 32:32
  Speaker 2: So I think you should have waited out, maintain the
• 32:35
  Speaker 2: relationship with the children, try and be there.
• 32:37
  Speaker 3: Are you in close proximity to those children.
• 32:39
  Speaker 6: Now.
• 32:39
  Speaker 4: I'm also in Texas, unfortunately, so.
• 32:42
  Speaker 3: I get out of there. First things. First, you should
• 32:44
  Speaker 3: get out of Texas. I'm trying.
• 32:46
  Speaker 2: I'm actually I'm headed there this weekend. So it's funny
• 32:49
  Speaker 2: I'm saying that because I'm doing a stand up there.
• 32:51
  Speaker 2: I'm doing three shows in Texas, so I guess I'll
• 32:54
  Speaker 2: bring my water gun for protection. Yeah, but yeah, I
• 32:58
  Speaker 2: would just try and interfere with her life right now.
• 33:01
  Speaker 2: I would focus on the kids and that maintenance and
• 33:04
  Speaker 2: her ex and maintaining a relationship with her so that
• 33:07
  Speaker 2: you have access to those children and that they have
• 33:10
  Speaker 2: some stability, even if it's you face timing them or
• 33:12
  Speaker 2: doing family zooms once a week. Just figure out a
• 33:15
  Speaker 2: way to like extend yourself to them during this time
• 33:18
  Speaker 2: because it's probably really difficult on them too.
• 33:20
  Speaker 4: Absolutely, And at first, when my sister in law and
• 33:23
  Speaker 4: I started talking, my sister became very angry, and of
• 33:27
  Speaker 4: course she accused me of betraying her and things like that,
• 33:30
  Speaker 4: and I don't know when she tried to force me
• 33:32
  Speaker 4: not to talk to her, and I just said, look,
• 33:34
  Speaker 4: that's not going to happen, like.
• 33:35
  Speaker 2: No, no, there shouldn't be like boundaries. But that's not
• 33:38
  Speaker 2: helpful either. To not to speak to someone is not helpful.
• 33:41
  Speaker 1: The whole picking sides thing is like just a quogomire.
• 33:45
  Speaker 2: Can you spend any time with them? Can you go
• 33:47
  Speaker 2: and spend time with them there?
• 33:49
  Speaker 4: Yeah, actually I'm going at Christmas. We just found out
• 33:52
  Speaker 4: her dates when she's going to be gone, and so
• 33:54
  Speaker 4: I'll go while she's not there.
• 33:56
  Speaker 3: Perfect, Okay, Well that's good.
• 33:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah, prioritize that in the meantime, okay, and then wait
• 34:03
  Speaker 2: for an opportunity, you know, wait for a moment of
• 34:05
  Speaker 2: vulnerability or a moment when her life really does get
• 34:09
  Speaker 2: carried away.
• 34:10
  Speaker 3: You know.
• 34:11
  Speaker 2: But with people who are always defensive and want to
• 34:14
  Speaker 2: be right, you know, they're as long as you're like
• 34:18
  Speaker 2: arguing a point, you're in defense mode. Because if you're
• 34:21
  Speaker 2: an open person, you can actually hear anything anyone says
• 34:24
  Speaker 2: without being defensive. And so until she gets there, there's
• 34:28
  Speaker 2: really nothing for you to do.
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: That's really true. Hey, what's your sister's new partner?
• 34:34
  Speaker 4: Like, I mean, I don't know. I haven't talked to
• 34:37
  Speaker 4: that woman in okay, fourteen fifteen years since she broke
• 34:40
  Speaker 4: up with my sister the first time. And like I said,
• 34:42
  Speaker 4: the only thing I know about how that relationship ended
• 34:45
  Speaker 4: was she cheated on my sister, And so I don't
• 34:49
  Speaker 4: know what she's like now or what she's been doing
• 34:51
  Speaker 4: all these years. But I just feel like I know
• 34:54
  Speaker 4: my sister needs therapy. She desperately needs to figure out
• 34:57
  Speaker 4: what these demons are that have made her so unhappy
• 35:00
  Speaker 4: even with you know, all the things that she's accomplished
• 35:02
  Speaker 4: in life, and so running to someone else is not
• 35:06
  Speaker 4: going to to make her suddenly happy or fulfill all
• 35:09
  Speaker 4: her life dreams.
• 35:10
  Speaker 5: There is like something I'm sniffing out here too, with
• 35:13
  Speaker 5: the willingness to sort of dive into this chaos, the
• 35:17
  Speaker 5: drug use, the alcohol use, that like maybe there is
• 35:20
  Speaker 5: some mental illness, Maybe there's some just like emotional dysregulation.
• 35:24
  Speaker 5: I don't know what else you can do about that
• 35:26
  Speaker 5: other than to keep saying, like I love you, let's
• 35:29
  Speaker 5: try therapy that sort of thing, because obviously throwing that
• 35:32
  Speaker 5: at her is not super helpful, but just for you
• 35:35
  Speaker 5: to maybe have kind of in the background of like
• 35:37
  Speaker 5: maybe she's using this to sort of like help regulate
• 35:40
  Speaker 5: some of this emotional cast that she's feeling.
• 35:43
  Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, and also just talking to you.
• 35:45
  Speaker 2: Obviously you're coming from a place of judgment, you know
• 35:47
  Speaker 2: what I mean, You're disappointed in her choices and blah
• 35:49
  Speaker 2: blah blah, and that's never helpful with that personality type.
• 35:52
  Speaker 2: You know, you have to really come from a place
• 35:54
  Speaker 2: of love and support, like I know what you can do,
• 35:57
  Speaker 2: I know your potential, I know you're going to do
• 35:59
  Speaker 2: the you can It's almost like you're flipping the script
• 36:02
  Speaker 2: to try and make them believe in themselves a little
• 36:04
  Speaker 2: bit more, because people like that. You know, everything you're
• 36:08
  Speaker 2: describing sounds like she is masking a lot of stuff.
• 36:10
  Speaker 2: So as long as you can try and really not
• 36:13
  Speaker 2: pass judgment on her behavior and rather be a support
• 36:17
  Speaker 2: system for her and someone she feels safe coming to,
• 36:21
  Speaker 2: so that you can kind of build that trust back
• 36:23
  Speaker 2: up and hopefully that can lead to something.
• 36:25
  Speaker 4: It's obviously hard because I love my sister in law, and.
• 36:29
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I know it's your sister. I believe me. I'm
• 36:31
  Speaker 3: so judgmental, but.
• 36:32
  Speaker 4: You know I care about the kids, and I have
• 36:34
  Speaker 4: been divorced before, and I know what that does and
• 36:38
  Speaker 4: how it tears families apart. So I did try to
• 36:40
  Speaker 4: a little bit come from that angle of like, look,
• 36:42
  Speaker 4: if you don't want to be married anymore, that's one thing,
• 36:44
  Speaker 4: but like figure that out before you just go right
• 36:48
  Speaker 4: into something new.
• 36:49
  Speaker 2: Absolutely, we'll keep us post it with whatever progress.
• 36:53
  Speaker 3: Is made, Okay, let us know.
• 36:54
  Speaker 5: All right, I will Okay, Thanks Allison, thank you, bye bye.
• 37:00
  Speaker 2: I can't believe people are still living in Texas, like
• 37:03
  Speaker 2: a lot of them, Sharon, aren't you so happy?
• 37:05
  Speaker 3: You're not American.
• 37:07
  Speaker 1: I really am. You know, it's it's not great in
• 37:11
  Speaker 1: London at the moment either, I mean, honestly, it's it's
• 37:14
  Speaker 1: I mean, all over the world is a bit of
• 37:17
  Speaker 1: a shit show. But Ireland. Ireland's not bad at the moment.
• 37:22
  Speaker 3: Oh, Ireland sounds like a great place. Are we moving possibly?
• 37:26
  Speaker 2: I mean, I just want to go to an island
• 37:29
  Speaker 2: where there is not going to be any no one's cares,
• 37:32
  Speaker 2: you know, some tropical place where no one's we're not
• 37:34
  Speaker 2: going to be involved in any of all of the
• 37:36
  Speaker 2: ship that's happening globally.
• 37:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, maybe we could man make one, you.
• 37:41
  Speaker 2: Know, or or buy one together, one like pool our resources.
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: I am. I've talked to my friends about my female
• 37:48
  Speaker 1: friends about this a lot, Like I think the feature
• 37:52
  Speaker 1: is some kind of commune of.
• 37:56
  Speaker 2: These conversations I'm having all these conversations with my female friends.
• 38:00
  Speaker 2: I mean, every different group of female friends says the
• 38:02
  Speaker 2: same thing, like, why don't we all just pull our
• 38:04
  Speaker 2: money together and you know, buy some property?
• 38:08
  Speaker 3: Yeah, or so Ireland, that's why not.
• 38:11
  Speaker 2: People are happy there, They're happy, they're drinking and happy.
• 38:14
  Speaker 3: When do you get to experiencing those things together?
• 38:19
  Speaker 5: Well, our next caller is Taylor.
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: She is thirty six.
• 38:23
  Speaker 2: Dear Chelsea, it is Taylor's sweet It is Taylor, she's
• 38:25
  Speaker 2: thirty five.
• 38:26
  Speaker 5: Oh yeah, ooh, just got that tucked right away, Dear Chelsea.
• 38:30
  Speaker 5: My sister and I were never close growing up, but
• 38:32
  Speaker 5: became friends as adults. We now have lived in the
• 38:34
  Speaker 5: same city for ten years, and over those years have
• 38:36
  Speaker 5: felt like good friends.
• 38:38
  Speaker 1: We have sister dates without the.
• 38:39
  Speaker 5: Husbands, run errands together, and try our best to stay connected. Recently,
• 38:44
  Speaker 5: I've felt a shift in our relationship. I've always been
• 38:46
  Speaker 5: the one to initiate our hangouts. That never bothered me,
• 38:49
  Speaker 5: as being the planner of the family has made me.
• 38:52
  Speaker 5: That's been my self appointed role. I had a baby
• 38:54
  Speaker 5: this year and have had less motivation and time to
• 38:56
  Speaker 5: arrange hangouts. And now I don't hear from her sometimes
• 38:59
  Speaker 5: for weeks at a time. It's become very apparent to
• 39:01
  Speaker 5: me that I was really the one driving the relationship.
• 39:04
  Speaker 5: I'm afraid to talk to her about this. In the past,
• 39:07
  Speaker 5: I've had to have a hard conversation with her about
• 39:09
  Speaker 5: not wanting to babysit her dog anymore. He marked in
• 39:11
  Speaker 5: the house. That conversation went pretty badly and she didn't
• 39:14
  Speaker 5: speak to me for a month. I'm really feeling her absence,
• 39:17
  Speaker 5: but I just can't get myself to address it with her.
• 39:19
  Speaker 5: Do I just accept that maybe things have changed and
• 39:21
  Speaker 5: that's okay, Or do I need to get over myself
• 39:24
  Speaker 5: and talk to her no matter what the outcome is, Chelsea,
• 39:26
  Speaker 5: you have sisters, please help Taylor.
• 39:30
  Speaker 2: Hi, Taylor, Hi, Taylor, Chelsea, Hi, this is Sharon Horgan,
• 39:36
  Speaker 2: our special guest today too.
• 39:41
  Speaker 1: What an honor fun you you have to you have
• 39:46
  Speaker 1: to talk to your sister.
• 39:48
  Speaker 7: Actually, there's been an update and I apologize and coming
• 39:53
  Speaker 7: from my car, I just loved an acupuncture appointment. So yeah,
• 39:58
  Speaker 7: I sent that email of you months ago. And my
• 40:02
  Speaker 7: sister and I've always had a very good, strong, loving relationship,
• 40:06
  Speaker 7: but as sisters go, there's been ups and downs as
• 40:09
  Speaker 7: we've gone through life. For honestly, it's just gotten so
• 40:12
  Speaker 7: much better.
• 40:13
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna admit.
• 40:14
  Speaker 7: We never chatted about it directly, but my daughter turned
• 40:18
  Speaker 7: one a few like a month ago, and a few
• 40:21
  Speaker 7: months ago it's like she started reaching out and we
• 40:23
  Speaker 7: started doing things, and so yeah, I don't know if
• 40:26
  Speaker 7: it was just like the beginning of babies stuff and
• 40:29
  Speaker 7: we needed some time or what. But you know, there's
• 40:33
  Speaker 7: ebbs and flows to a sibling relationship. It's it's a
• 40:36
  Speaker 7: lifetime relationship, right, So.
• 40:38
  Speaker 1: And when you have a baby, you're so you know,
• 40:42
  Speaker 1: exposed and emotional and sensitive. It's the only time I've
• 40:46
  Speaker 1: ever full in that with my sister. Yeah, and we
• 40:51
  Speaker 1: had to do I mean, and it was it was
• 40:53
  Speaker 1: It wasn't a long time for that, but it freaked
• 40:56
  Speaker 1: me out because we're so tight. And in fact, I
• 41:01
  Speaker 1: always felt like my female friendships are so important to me,
• 41:04
  Speaker 1: but I would kind of sideline them a little because
• 41:06
  Speaker 1: my siblings were just everything. But I was very shit
• 41:10
  Speaker 1: around about the time she had her second child, her daughter,
• 41:14
  Speaker 1: and I just wasn't around. I think, I don't know
• 41:16
  Speaker 1: what was happening, like marriage stuff and work stuff, but
• 41:20
  Speaker 1: I was just not very present and I was just
• 41:24
  Speaker 1: being a bit useless. And she was so hurt by it.
• 41:28
  Speaker 1: You know, she really really felt it, and I was
• 41:31
  Speaker 1: having a hard time herself. And it came to a
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: point where like she she was like, I don't think
• 41:38
  Speaker 1: I want to be around you at the moment, and
• 41:40
  Speaker 1: I was just like straight on the phone. We we
• 41:42
  Speaker 1: hashed it all out and was really tricky, you know,
• 41:45
  Speaker 1: because you kind of have to, you know, swallow a
• 41:48
  Speaker 1: lot of pride and say a lot of sorries and
• 41:50
  Speaker 1: and just own up to the fact that you were
• 41:53
  Speaker 1: being a bit rubbish. But I'm so so glad, we
• 41:56
  Speaker 1: I'm so babbidiced. It was scary. Scary when you think
• 41:59
  Speaker 1: you'renna fall this sister. Yeah, your sister.
• 42:02
  Speaker 7: I mean, I can't imagine not having a sister, like
• 42:05
  Speaker 7: she's my most one of my most important relationships. But yeah,
• 42:08
  Speaker 7: to your point, I think so much changes when you
• 42:11
  Speaker 7: have a baby, and there's a lot of raw emotion
• 42:14
  Speaker 7: and you want this need to be like every all
• 42:17
  Speaker 7: the women in my life stay close to me.
• 42:19
  Speaker 1: But at the same time, you are.
• 42:21
  Speaker 7: Busy and things are kind of falling apart and you're
• 42:23
  Speaker 7: sleep deprived. So it was almost like we just needed
• 42:26
  Speaker 7: a few months to kind of like find a new routine,
• 42:30
  Speaker 7: and I feel like we've really gotten there.
• 42:32
  Speaker 2: And also, don't forget when you have a baby, you
• 42:34
  Speaker 2: know how hormonal you are and how sensitive that person is,
• 42:37
  Speaker 2: Like you're overly sensitized to everything, and every and a
• 42:41
  Speaker 2: small like infraction can feel like a big one. And
• 42:44
  Speaker 2: you know, so you have to like allow yourself that
• 42:46
  Speaker 2: but for future if you guys have any issues, And
• 42:49
  Speaker 2: this is to anyone who's listening, I don't believe there
• 42:52
  Speaker 2: is any ego involved with your sisters. Like it's not
• 42:55
  Speaker 2: like a friend where there's some sort of gamesmanship or
• 42:58
  Speaker 2: you don't know where the other person stands. You know
• 43:00
  Speaker 2: at the end of the day that you love each
• 43:01
  Speaker 2: other and that you have years and years of proof
• 43:04
  Speaker 2: of that. So like, if you're feeling distant from her,
• 43:08
  Speaker 2: there's nothing wrong with going I miss you, I need
• 43:11
  Speaker 2: to see you. When am I going to see you?
• 43:12
  Speaker 2: I love you, I miss my sissy. Whatever however you
• 43:15
  Speaker 2: talk to each other, there's nothing wrong with that. I'm
• 43:17
  Speaker 2: sure that probably would have put a big smile on
• 43:20
  Speaker 2: her face too, you know, like, oh, you know, sometimes
• 43:23
  Speaker 2: you don't realize how much distance. I mean, my sister
• 43:25
  Speaker 2: just crashed my weekend this weekend and she's like, you know,
• 43:29
  Speaker 2: we haven't spent time together. She's like, you're always with Simoe,
• 43:31
  Speaker 2: my other sister. She goes, you know, we haven't spent
• 43:32
  Speaker 2: time together like this in months. You're you know, you
• 43:35
  Speaker 2: see Simone all the time. And I was like, but
• 43:38
  Speaker 2: she invited herself on the trip. She's like, I'm coming
• 43:40
  Speaker 2: with you from Brooklyn. I was doing shows all weekend.
• 43:43
  Speaker 2: She's like, I'm coming to all shows and I'm sleeping
• 43:45
  Speaker 2: in your hotel room with you. And I was like okay,
• 43:48
  Speaker 2: And we had a great time.
• 43:49
  Speaker 1: Hopefully relate to all of that. I remember that feeling
• 43:53
  Speaker 1: of being jealous when one sibling would spend more time
• 43:55
  Speaker 1: with than another, like sitting so hurt by it. And
• 43:59
  Speaker 1: you know it's the circumstance for geographical reasons or whatever,
• 44:04
  Speaker 1: but it's there's always like smaller allegiances within a bigger
• 44:07
  Speaker 1: family anyway, you know, like the eldest and the youngest
• 44:10
  Speaker 1: of a special thing, and like my brother's have a
• 44:12
  Speaker 1: special dying and then as sisters and but yeah, god,
• 44:15
  Speaker 1: I remember that terrible feeling of fomo, you know, feeling
• 44:20
  Speaker 1: like you've been left. Yeah, some kind of sibling get together.
• 44:23
  Speaker 2: It's more fomo than jealousy, Like you're not really jealous
• 44:27
  Speaker 2: of your siblings spending time together. We're all part of
• 44:29
  Speaker 2: the family. Like I don't own them and they don't
• 44:31
  Speaker 2: own me. But you know, my sister invaded my weekend.
• 44:34
  Speaker 2: We had a great time. We slept in bed, together.
• 44:37
  Speaker 2: We giggled our asses off, We had our cousin there
• 44:39
  Speaker 2: and it was totally fun and great.
• 44:41
  Speaker 3: And that's how you have to act, you know, if.
• 44:44
  Speaker 2: You're feeling a little bit, it's not like somebody, it's
• 44:47
  Speaker 2: not like you're in a romantic relationship and it's new
• 44:49
  Speaker 2: and you have to tiptoe around them. Just be upfront
• 44:52
  Speaker 2: and be like, I miss you, I want to see you,
• 44:53
  Speaker 2: I need a bond.
• 44:54
  Speaker 5: And I think it's also as the planner, it's also
• 44:57
  Speaker 5: okay to be like, I don't have the brain power
• 44:58
  Speaker 5: to plan something right now, but I want to see you.
• 45:00
  Speaker 5: Can you plan a little outing for us and like
• 45:02
  Speaker 5: put the onus on her and have it move forward
• 45:05
  Speaker 5: that way.
• 45:06
  Speaker 7: So, Chelsea, you're talking about having a trip with your sister,
• 45:09
  Speaker 7: My sister and I and my daughter, we traveled down
• 45:12
  Speaker 7: to see my grandmother. My sister and I stayed up
• 45:14
  Speaker 7: one night talking to like one thirty in the morning,
• 45:17
  Speaker 7: and we again we didn't like address like I miss you,
• 45:22
  Speaker 7: but it was like, oh, this is like what we needed.
• 45:25
  Speaker 3: Since then, it's been really great, so so good.
• 45:28
  Speaker 2: I'm glad everything's improved, and have fun and you know,
• 45:32
  Speaker 2: good times ahead, Good times ahead.
• 45:34
  Speaker 7: Only I told Catherine this, The world is very scary
• 45:38
  Speaker 7: right now.
• 45:38
  Speaker 3: America is very scary right now.
• 45:40
  Speaker 7: So holding your family and your community and your friends
• 45:43
  Speaker 7: like so close and really focusing on that kind of
• 45:46
  Speaker 7: positive love that you get is like now.
• 45:48
  Speaker 3: What I'm focusing on.
• 45:49
  Speaker 7: So no matter what, I my sister's wonderful and she's
• 45:53
  Speaker 7: empathetic and caring, and I'm like, I just have to,
• 45:56
  Speaker 7: you know, we just had to like figure out our
• 45:58
  Speaker 7: new relationship with the little baby involved.
• 46:01
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 46:01
  Speaker 2: Absolutely, And that is your fault for having a baby
• 46:04
  Speaker 2: in the first place.
• 46:04
  Speaker 3: Take some responsibility. I really, why did I do this?
• 46:10
  Speaker 3: One day you'll find out. But thanks for calling. You're yeah,
• 46:14
  Speaker 3: thanks for calling. Have a great day. So nice to
• 46:17
  Speaker 3: meet you.
• 46:18
  Speaker 5: By when they figure out their own problem, I know.
• 46:23
  Speaker 2: I love when we have callers that is like, oh,
• 46:24
  Speaker 2: we were going to call in with this, but we've
• 46:26
  Speaker 2: already figured it out.
• 46:27
  Speaker 1: I was way easier than the lost one.
• 46:31
  Speaker 2: Okay, we're going to take a break and we're going
• 46:34
  Speaker 2: to come back and wrap up with Sharon Horgan.
• 46:39
  Speaker 3: And we're back. We are back.
• 46:41
  Speaker 5: I have one more quickie if we want to, let's
• 46:43
  Speaker 5: do a quickie to close it out.
• 46:45
  Speaker 2: We don't want to cut Sharon short of giving advice
• 46:47
  Speaker 2: three times exactly exactly.
• 46:49
  Speaker 1: We don't want to take that is my advice? Is it?
• 46:52
  Speaker 6: Like?
• 46:52
  Speaker 3: No, it's good listen.
• 46:55
  Speaker 2: I think the most important advice anyone could give is
• 46:57
  Speaker 2: being a good listener. And you're a good listener. So
• 47:00
  Speaker 2: that's all. That's half the battle, you know what I mean?
• 47:03
  Speaker 2: Actually care listening to people's problems, that's it's nice. Yeah,
• 47:07
  Speaker 2: you know, it kind of takes everything away from yourself.
• 47:10
  Speaker 3: So I like this activity.
• 47:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 47:12
  Speaker 5: Well, our last question comes from Ariana. Ariana's subject line
• 47:17
  Speaker 5: was how do I stop stressing that my baby's sister
• 47:19
  Speaker 5: is pregnant? Dear Chelsea, I'm a twenty seven year old
• 47:23
  Speaker 5: living six hundred miles away from home. Fairly intentionally, I'm
• 47:27
  Speaker 5: the eldest of three girls, and I definitely identify with
• 47:29
  Speaker 5: the pros and cons of being the high achieving, controlling
• 47:32
  Speaker 5: fixer of an oldest sister. My middle sister and I
• 47:35
  Speaker 5: have been slowly growing closer as we've gotten older, which
• 47:38
  Speaker 5: brings me to my current problem. My twenty three year
• 47:41
  Speaker 5: old sister has made a fetus with her twenty year
• 47:43
  Speaker 5: old boyfriend. They've been together for about a year and
• 47:46
  Speaker 5: are quote unquote definitely keeping it. And I'm holding so
• 47:50
  Speaker 5: much stress about this. They've moved in with my parents,
• 47:53
  Speaker 5: and I feel the stress and anxiety that caused me
• 47:55
  Speaker 5: to want to get out of there. I know that
• 47:57
  Speaker 5: so many young moms find their way, and none of
• 47:59
  Speaker 5: this is to say that she can't be a great mom,
• 48:01
  Speaker 5: but I just don't believe two kids basically without jobs
• 48:04
  Speaker 5: should have a baby. So how do I get over this?
• 48:07
  Speaker 5: Thank you? Ariana?
• 48:08
  Speaker 3: First of all, this has very little to do with you.
• 48:12
  Speaker 2: So your control freak, your self identified control freak, I'm
• 48:15
  Speaker 2: here to confirm that you are. There's nothing you can do.
• 48:18
  Speaker 2: She's pregnant. Is that what she means by fetus?
• 48:20
  Speaker 1: I'm assuming it's not like on the rocks.
• 48:24
  Speaker 2: No, no, no, no, it's so unless you're free, Oh
• 48:29
  Speaker 2: that's done. Yeah, So she's not going to convince her
• 48:32
  Speaker 2: to get an abortion, you know what I mean?
• 48:34
  Speaker 3: So how do you let it go?
• 48:36
  Speaker 2: You have to actively surrender the idea that this is
• 48:40
  Speaker 2: within your control. It is not within your control. You
• 48:43
  Speaker 2: have no say in this matter. This is not your issue.
• 48:46
  Speaker 2: Because it affects your family, it will affect you, but
• 48:49
  Speaker 2: you still have no argument, you.
• 48:52
  Speaker 3: Have no what's that duck in this race? This race?
• 48:57
  Speaker 1: Duck race?
• 48:57
  Speaker 2: No duck in this race? Okay, you can't. There's nothing
• 49:02
  Speaker 2: you can do, So you have to just understand. You
• 49:04
  Speaker 2: have to really understand that you are not in control
• 49:07
  Speaker 2: of everyone's destiny. The only thing you could control is
• 49:09
  Speaker 2: your own behavior and your response to things. And I
• 49:12
  Speaker 2: would work really hard on trying to be supportive rather
• 49:15
  Speaker 2: than being combative about this because it's already happening. There
• 49:19
  Speaker 2: is nothing you can do, and if you can exercise
• 49:22
  Speaker 2: restraint and the idea of letting go of something that
• 49:26
  Speaker 2: is not your it's not your thing to control. So
• 49:29
  Speaker 2: I don't know what to tell you, but you have
• 49:31
  Speaker 2: to really understand that and also move forward in life
• 49:35
  Speaker 2: understanding that as well.
• 49:37
  Speaker 3: You don't get to be in control of other people's lives.
• 49:39
  Speaker 1: Sharing any any thoughts there.
• 49:41
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 49:42
  Speaker 1: It sounds like she's more sort of worrying about her
• 49:44
  Speaker 1: parents having to, you know, get involved in the baby's
• 49:48
  Speaker 1: life and do the looking after. So like I kind
• 49:51
  Speaker 1: of get that a little bit, but yeah, what are
• 49:54
  Speaker 1: you going to do?
• 49:55
  Speaker 3: But I mean totally, but what's she going to do?
• 49:56
  Speaker 2: The parents already let her move in with her boyfriend
• 49:59
  Speaker 2: or husband is a husband and boyfriend, boyfriend, boyfriend, they'll
• 50:02
  Speaker 2: have the baby, they'll probably break up in a few years,
• 50:04
  Speaker 2: and then they're gonna have to clean up their own mess.
• 50:06
  Speaker 3: And your parents already allowed them to move in.
• 50:08
  Speaker 2: Again, not your decision, Like, you're not in charge of
• 50:11
  Speaker 2: everyone in your family. You're not gonna force your sister
• 50:13
  Speaker 2: to get an abortion, are you. No, you're not gonna
• 50:15
  Speaker 2: force your parents to kick your sister out. No, So
• 50:18
  Speaker 2: I would throw my hands up and look at a
• 50:20
  Speaker 2: different direction to see to find a situation you can
• 50:23
  Speaker 2: have an impact on.
• 50:24
  Speaker 5: And I think Arianna is like kind of on the
• 50:26
  Speaker 5: right track of like she knows it's her own thing
• 50:29
  Speaker 5: to deal with. So I would get a therapist so
• 50:32
  Speaker 5: you can gripe about this, like, no, it's it's not
• 50:34
  Speaker 5: your problem, and it's not your responsibility to help them
• 50:37
  Speaker 5: learn these lessons either.
• 50:38
  Speaker 1: But the other thing, too, is the.
• 50:41
  Speaker 5: Boyfriend is probably gonna go away at some point, like
• 50:43
  Speaker 5: you said, But when there is this baby, and this
• 50:46
  Speaker 5: baby actually does come into your life, you're gonna be like,
• 50:49
  Speaker 5: holy shit, I love this little niece or nephew.
• 50:51
  Speaker 1: So there will be like a good outcome of it.
• 50:54
  Speaker 2: That's really hard to understand until they're physical right here exactly.
• 50:58
  Speaker 1: It's true, it's true, but it did. I was the
• 51:00
  Speaker 1: first person in my family to have a baby and
• 51:04
  Speaker 1: wasn't planned in any way, but I remember bringing her
• 51:06
  Speaker 1: home and my brothers and sisters just like it's a
• 51:09
  Speaker 1: mental limit I have my head. So this day, like
• 51:11
  Speaker 1: all of them just crowded around this tiny little thing
• 51:14
  Speaker 1: in the middle of my parents' bed, and they were
• 51:17
  Speaker 1: they immediately like fell in love and yep.
• 51:20
  Speaker 3: And that's pretty undeniable.
• 51:22
  Speaker 2: Like you know, once somebody in your family has and
• 51:24
  Speaker 2: you obviously care about your family, so I would really
• 51:27
  Speaker 2: start to just focus on the positive impact you can
• 51:29
  Speaker 2: have on them moving forward in the future, rather than
• 51:33
  Speaker 2: trying to prevent what's happening from happening.
• 51:36
  Speaker 1: Also, you live one hundred and seventy miles away or whatever,
• 51:38
  Speaker 1: so yeah, six.
• 51:39
  Speaker 2: Hundred Yeah, find a new family if you want so bad,
• 51:42
  Speaker 2: if you can.
• 51:44
  Speaker 3: Six hundred miles of that bus. What did did you say, six.
• 51:48
  Speaker 2: Hundred miles, six hundred miles that's a different country. Well,
• 51:54
  Speaker 2: there's nothing six hundred oh, six hundred miles. I was
• 51:57
  Speaker 2: saying six thousand there's nothing in this country six thousand
• 52:00
  Speaker 2: miles away. Okay, I'm a geographical wizard and a mathematician. Okay, Well,
• 52:06
  Speaker 2: I can't wait to see season two of Bad Sisters.
• 52:08
  Speaker 3: Sharon Horrigan.
• 52:09
  Speaker 1: I wait to see. I can't wait for you see
• 52:11
  Speaker 1: it too. And so I love you and I'm so
• 52:16
  Speaker 1: glad we got to do this. Me too, I've been
• 52:19
  Speaker 1: an admirer for years.
• 52:21
  Speaker 2: Likewise, and I hope to see you in person one
• 52:23
  Speaker 2: day soon, so we can have a cocktail together now
• 52:25
  Speaker 2: that you're back on the sauce, can we just.
• 52:27
  Speaker 6: Do that.
• 52:29
  Speaker 2: Tail?
• 52:29
  Speaker 3: Yeah, in the early morning hours on a flight.
• 52:35
  Speaker 1: At nine am.
• 52:37
  Speaker 2: Okay, we will. We will share it. Thank you so much.
• 52:39
  Speaker 2: Have a great day.
• 52:41
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 52:42
  Speaker 2: Everyone needs to watch Bad Sisters. And if you haven't
• 52:45
  Speaker 2: watched the first season, watched the first season first and
• 52:48
  Speaker 2: then go to season two. It's on Apple and it's
• 52:50
  Speaker 2: out now. Okay, guys, stand up shows that I have
• 52:53
  Speaker 2: coming up. I am going to Texas this weekend. I'm
• 52:57
  Speaker 2: going to Houston. I'm going to Austin, Houston and then Sugarland, Texas.
• 53:02
  Speaker 2: Then I have my Specials taping and Montclair, New Jersey.
• 53:06
  Speaker 3: Those are all sold out.
• 53:08
  Speaker 2: I have San Diego on eleven twenty nine that has
• 53:10
  Speaker 2: tickets available. Oh, I'm coming to Vegas on November thirtieth,
• 53:14
  Speaker 2: right after Thanksgiving and their tickets available for that. And
• 53:17
  Speaker 2: then I'll be in Des Moines, Iowa December fifth. December
• 53:21
  Speaker 2: sixth is Omaha, and then December twenty eighth, I'm coming
• 53:25
  Speaker 2: in New Orleans right before New Year's and then I'll
• 53:28
  Speaker 2: be in Atlanta, Georgia on December twenty ninth.
• 53:30
  Speaker 3: And those are the rest of my stand up dates
• 53:32
  Speaker 3: for this year. It's over New Tour New Year. If
• 53:37
  Speaker 3: you'd like.
• 53:37
  Speaker 5: Advice from Chelsea, shoot us an email at Dear Chelsea
• 53:40
  Speaker 5: podcast at gmail dot com and be sure to include
• 53:43
  Speaker 5: your phone number. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by
• 53:46
  Speaker 5: Brad Dickert executive producer Catherine law and be sure to
• 53:49
  Speaker 5: check out our merch at Chelseahandler dot com