Latest / Career Coaching with Fexingo: Professional Coaches, Career Counselors, and Guidance for Workers / How to Handle Career Rejection Like a Professional
Transcript
- Lucas: I was talking to a friend last week — she's a product manager, very good at what she does — and she told me she'd been rejected from four roles in the past six months. But here's the thing: she didn't frame it as rejection. She framed it as data. Luna: Data? That's an interesting reframe. Most people I know would be spiraling after four rejections, not analyzing spreadsheets. Lucas: Right, and that's exactly the shift we need to talk about today. Because rejection is inevitable in any career — whether you're a new grad or a VP. But the difference between people who get stuck and people who keep advancing often comes down to how they process the 'no.' Luna: So how did she actually use that data? Like, what was she tracking? Lucas: She kept a simple log. After each rejection, she noted three things: the stage she got rejected at — phone screen, first round, final round — the type of company, and any specific feedback she could extract. After four rejections, she noticed a pattern: she was getting to final rounds consistently at Series B startups, but losing out to candidates with direct experience in her industry — health tech. Luna: So it wasn't about her interview skills. It was about positioning. Lucas: Exactly. And that's the value of treating rejection as information rather than a verdict. But to do that, you first have to get past the emotional hit. Lucas: If we've helped you think through a career move or a tough decision like this — even just given you a new way to look at a problem — that's exactly why we make this show. And keeping it ad-free and independent is something we really care about. Luna: Yeah, a couple of dollars a month is genuinely what keeps these going. Buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo, if you've gotten something out of them. Lucas: So back to that pattern — once she saw the health tech gap, she didn't just apply to more startups. She spent a month doing informational interviews with leaders in that space, then targeted companies where her adjacent experience was actually a plus. Luna: And did it work? Did she land something? Lucas: Three months later she got an offer at a Series C health tech company. She told me the rejection log was the single most useful document she'd ever created for her career. Luna: I love that. Let's break down that framework. Step one: detach emotionally. Step two: collect the data — which includes feedback. But how do you actually get feedback? Most companies ghost you or give you a generic line. Lucas: It's true, many won't give you anything useful. But there's a surprisingly effective tactic: ask the recruiter or hiring manager a very specific question. Instead of 'why wasn't I selected?' — which is broad and easy to dodge — try 'was there a specific skill or experience gap that became clear in the later rounds?' Luna: That's much harder to brush off. Makes sense. Lucas: And one more thing: look at the job description again after rejection. Often you'll notice a requirement you underestimated. That's data too. Luna: So step three is decide: double down or pivot. If the pattern shows a skill gap — say, you keep losing out on roles that require SQL — you can take a course. If it's industry-specific, you might need to pivot your targeting. Lucas: Right. And not every rejection warrants a full pivot. Sometimes it's just a numbers game. If you're getting interviews but no offers, the issue might be your interview narrative or your ability to tell a compelling story about your experience. Luna: That's a different kind of data. So let's talk about how you actually respond to a rejection email. Most people either ignore it or send a polite 'thanks anyway.' Lucas: I think there's a middle ground that very few people use. Respond within 24 hours, thank them for the consideration, and express genuine interest in staying on their radar. Then — and this is the key — ask if they'd be open to a brief call in a few months to share feedback once the role is filled. Most won't say yes, but some will. Luna: And when they do, you get invaluable information. Plus you've built a relationship rather than burned a bridge. Lucas: Exactly. I had a guest on another show who did exactly that. Got rejected from a dream job, asked for a feedback call six months later, and the hiring manager was so impressed by her professionalism that when a new role opened a year later, she got a call before it was even posted. Luna: That's the long game. So to summarize: rejection is data, not a verdict. Detach emotionally, gather specific feedback — including from the job description — and decide whether to skill up or pivot your strategy. Lucas: And respond with grace. Because careers are long, and the people you meet along the way — even the ones who say no — can become part of your network down the road. Luna: Yeah, I think that's the key takeaway. It's not about never getting rejected — it's about what you do with the information. Lucas: And we should note that this applies beyond job applications too. Rejection from a promotion, a project assignment, a speaking opportunity — same framework works. Luna: Good point. So next time you get a no, instead of wallowing, ask yourself: what is this data telling me? Lucas: Exactly. Thanks for listening. Luna: And if you found this useful, you know where to find us.