Latest / Networking Unleashed: Building Profitable Connections / Networking Unleashed: An Interview with Michael A Forman, Public Speaker

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Networking Unleashed: An Interview with Michael A Forman, Public Speaker · Networking Unleashed: Building Profitable Connections

• 0:13
  Welcome to Networking Unleashed, Building Profitable
• 0:17
  Connections. I'm Michael Foreman, and today is
• 0:21
  episode 100. Yes, you heard me correctly. 100
• 0:27
  chances to ruin a handshake and 100 chances to
• 0:32
  fix them instead. So I'm flying solo today, which
• 0:36
  means no guests to blame and all the best shortcuts
• 0:39
  to share straight with you. Each week... I give
• 0:43
  you tactical, no -fluff strategies that turn
• 0:47
  small talk into real revenue. And this one message
• 0:52
  or these messages get you a lunch, a single question
• 0:57
  that turns conferences chaos into meaningful
• 1:02
  connections. If you want fewer awkward silences
• 1:06
  and more closed deals, you're in the right place.
• 1:11
  So stay with me. I'll give you razor sharp actions
• 1:14
  you can use today and a short challenge at the
• 1:17
  end. Make life worth living. Make networking
• 1:23
  less exhausting and more profitable. Now, I'm
• 1:28
  going to run you through a few things that I
• 1:31
  normally go through during a workshop. And my
• 1:34
  first question is, why? Why does everyone network?
• 1:40
  And I firmly believe that networking is the base
• 1:45
  of all businesses. So what's your ultimate goal?
• 1:49
  Of course, it's to make more money. Otherwise,
• 1:53
  why are you in business? But there's more to
• 1:57
  networking than that. It's having a giver's game.
• 2:03
  It's having a servant's heart. It's doing good
• 2:07
  for somebody else. And that plays more into networking
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  than anything else. You know what? Let me tell
• 2:16
  you a story. It's a story. Two guys, Marty and
• 2:20
  Fred, and they decided to go fishing one day.
• 2:24
  So they got all their gear together and they
• 2:27
  went up the mountain and they decided they found
• 2:29
  a great lake. And they said, okay. Marty said,
• 2:32
  you know what, Fred? You go to the north side.
• 2:35
  I'm going to take the south side. You go do everything
• 2:39
  you do, and I'll do everything that I do, and
• 2:42
  we'll catch fish, and we'll get together, and
• 2:44
  we'll have dinner. It'll be great. Fred went
• 2:47
  on his way. Marty went on his. And at the end
• 2:51
  of the day, Fred came back with one fish. He
• 2:55
  goes, ah, the fish really weren't biting today.
• 2:57
  But Marty had 10 fish. He goes, well, I guess
• 3:01
  it was better on the north side than the south
• 3:04
  side. So you know what? Let's do this, Fred.
• 3:07
  Let's change sides. I'll go to the south side
• 3:11
  and you stay on the north side. And this way
• 3:13
  we'll both have enough fish. Marty came back
• 3:16
  with 10 fish, 11 fish. And Fred had one. And
• 3:22
  he said, what's going on? Why am I not catching
• 3:25
  the fish? So Marty said, what are you doing?
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  He said, doing what you're doing. I'm setting
• 3:32
  up my camp. I am putting my radio on so I have
• 3:37
  some really cool music and I'm fishing. And Marty
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  said, that's your problem. You're doing it wrong.
• 3:44
  And networking is the same way. If you do it
• 3:48
  wrong, then you're missing out on so much. And
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  do you realize that most people waste 80 % of
• 3:57
  their networking opportunities without even realizing
• 4:01
  it? But you know what? That's where we come in.
• 4:04
  And that's where we can help you. Because you
• 4:07
  have to remember, you are a problem solver. That's
• 4:13
  right. So you have to find out what the person
• 4:17
  that you're speaking to, what's their problem?
• 4:21
  Because you have to have in the back of your
• 4:23
  head some sort of solution. And when you can
• 4:28
  do that, then you've made it. Let me just tell
• 4:32
  you just a few items, a few things. Because when
• 4:37
  you're networking, don't just think networking
• 4:40
  as a business. Think of networking in your everyday
• 4:44
  life. And so when you network, you go shopping
• 4:49
  for your jeans, go shopping for food. You're
• 4:54
  talking with people online. You're talking with
• 4:56
  people in the aisles. First things first, make,
• 5:01
  smile. Make it like you're a happy person, whether
• 5:05
  you are or not, doesn't make a difference. But
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  you know what? Because people will react to you
• 5:10
  much better when you're a happy person. And so
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  you just, if you're in line with somebody and
• 5:18
  they're talking about it, I used to be in a mortgage
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  industry and I would always listen. I would always
• 5:24
  listen if people are talking about. buying a
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  house or selling a house or renting a house,
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  I would always turn around, give my two seconds
• 5:32
  worth of information, and I'd turn back around.
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  If they were interested, they'd tap me on the
• 5:39
  shoulder and they'd say, you know, what about
• 5:40
  that? So anyway, so that goes a long way with
• 5:45
  networking. But you know what? Whenever you go
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  anywhere, you have business cards, right? Don't
• 5:51
  forget your business cards. You put them in your
• 5:54
  pocket or whatever else. And whenever the time
• 5:57
  comes, you can always give your business card.
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  What's more important than actually meeting the
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  person? It's your follow -up. I have a follow
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  -up strategy. I call it my secret sauce, the
• 6:12
  follow -up. So I will get into that, maybe, but
• 6:17
  I will get into that. So I want you to think.
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  I want you to think about what communication
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  is. Communication is the number one professional
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  skill. Communication. It's how you communicate.
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  Just remember, people hate to be sold to, but
• 6:44
  they love to buy something. So that puts you
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  in a quandary. How do I do this? It's very simple.
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  When you walk up and you meet somebody, obviously,
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  you're smiling. You're smiling. Extend your hand.
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  You're looking for that just to shake your hand,
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  say hello, how you doing? And eye contact is
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  very important. Now, I come from New York, right?
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  Eye contact, ooh, that's a negative, right? You're
• 7:14
  always looking down. You're always looking away.
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  But I'm in Georgia now. And it's always looking
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  at the person in the eye. You want to make that
• 7:24
  eye contact because what does that tell you?
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  It tells you that you're listening to them, that
• 7:33
  you're interested in them. So you know what?
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  You have that eye contact, but you're always
• 7:42
  giving the utmost of respect. And whether you're
• 7:47
  the... CEO or the janitor, that's what you do.
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  You give the respect that they deserve. So, you
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  know, what you want to do is you want to square
• 8:01
  your body up to them. You don't want to talk
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  to somebody with their shoulders, with your shoulders
• 8:07
  turned. Okay. You want to just square up to them.
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  And how about a facial expression, a friendly
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  facial. expression. And put your hands in plain
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  sight. If you're sitting on your hands, or if
• 8:21
  you're sitting, if you're standing, just, you
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  know what, and talk with your hands. Because
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  it's a natural ability. It's a natural thing.
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  So if you talk with your hands, you're actually
• 8:34
  becoming more involved with the conversation.
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  Right? If you're sitting, that's one thing. If
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  you're standing, you're talking with your hands.
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  And most importantly, You want to enunciate.
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  Because if the person can't hear you, can't understand
• 8:51
  you, then they're really not going to be interested
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  in you and not going to be interested in what
• 8:57
  you have to offer them or sell them or anything
• 9:00
  else like that. But if you're speaking with them
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  and you have their attention, right, you want
• 9:09
  to listen. And listening is a very important
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  part. Don't just hear them. You're listening
• 9:15
  to what they are saying. And you're active listening.
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  You're listening for something that they're saying
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  that you can respond with. Don't think about
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  the next thing that you want to say. You're thinking
• 9:31
  about, okay, he said something about this. So
• 9:34
  you repeat part of it. So I understand. You're
• 9:38
  saying this. So what you're meaning to say is
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  that, right? It's very important. But that also
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  tells them you're listening. You're listening.
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  You know, I use something. It's called F -O -R
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  -M. And that's family, occupation, recreation,
• 10:01
  and a certain message. And I use this every time
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  that I. Speak with anybody. Have a meeting with
• 10:09
  anybody. So F is family. So you get them to talk
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  about their family. Remember the networking mantra.
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  Know you, like you, trust you, they'll do business
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  with you. Right? Everybody knows you. Everybody
• 10:29
  likes you. Not really. Everybody doesn't like
• 10:31
  you because that narrows the field a little bit.
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  But trust you, that's the major factor. That's
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  the major factor because if they don't trust
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  you, then they're not going to do business with
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  you. So let me get back to form. Form is family.
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  You have them talk, have the other person speak,
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  talk, talk about their family, husband, wife,
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  sister, brother, son, daughter, whatever. If
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  they are into youth sports, that's great. If
• 11:02
  they're into music, that's great. Art, that's
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  great. Talk about anything because what you're
• 11:08
  doing is you're having them talk about their
• 11:12
  family and that wall between you is going down.
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  But you know what? That trust factor, that's
• 11:21
  going up. So they're beginning to trust a little
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  bit more. So you want to talk about their occupation?
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  which is O, they're R, recreation. What do they
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  like to do? They like to go boating. They like
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  to go ski. They like to paddleboard, play pickleball.
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  I don't understand why, but they play pickleball,
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  tennis, football, baseball. It doesn't make a
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  difference. However they do their recreation,
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  that would be best. And you find that level.
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  You find something that you can talk about, right?
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  And the M. is a message that you just try to
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  get onto the same keel as them. So you know what?
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  Whenever you're meeting with somebody and you're
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  using the form, figure out what they like, who
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  they are, okay? If you're sitting down with somebody
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  in an office, you really only have about 30 seconds.
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  You have about 30 seconds to really find out.
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  about the person. So scan the walls. Do they
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  have a picture of some sports memorabilia? Do
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  they have a picture of something of music, something
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  of art? Find it, talk about it, ask questions.
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  You're trying to find that commonality, find
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  what you have in common. And here's a little
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  trick. If you walk into an office and you see
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  all the pictures, on his desk right on his desk
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  looking in towards him that means that he really
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  doesn't want you to comment on his family but
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  if you see pictures on the back when they're
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  facing out you that almost gives you the right
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  almost right depends on the person to talk about
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  their family right so it depends on everything
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  so you're really trying to build that type of
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  rapport. But again, I'm going to bring you back
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  to the mantra, the mantra, know you, like you,
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  trust you. If they know you, if they like you
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  and they trust you, then they will do business
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  with you. And remember, if you don't have that
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  trust, you, you're going, you're doing something
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  wrong, right? So now what I've told you basically
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  is what The difference, it's for extroverts,
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  right? If you're an introvert, it's something
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  completely different. Let's change this up a
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  little bit. Let's go to a networking event at
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  the table. And you walk up to the table. I'm
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  thinking just extroverts now. You walk up to
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  the table. What's the first thing you do? Everybody
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  says, talk. Tell everybody what you do. Oh, that's
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  100 % the wrong thing to do. What you should
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  do really is walk up the table and not say a
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  word, not say a word. You're listening. That's
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  active listening. You're listening for the conversation.
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  And you say to yourself, is this a conversation
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  that I want to be a part of? Because there's
• 14:43
  a ton of conversations going on. So if it is
• 14:47
  great, if not. If you haven't said anything yet,
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  you politely bow out and you go to the next table.
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  Let's say it is a conversation that you want
• 14:55
  to be a part of. Well, that's great. So you wait
• 14:59
  for the opportunity for you to give your two
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  cents. Now, remember, you are the expert in your
• 15:06
  field, the expert. So what you say should really
• 15:11
  be worth something. And all you're trying to
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  do is get the attention of, let's say, two of
• 15:18
  the people that are at that table. There's generally
• 15:21
  four or five people. Two people. And when you
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  do, you direct your conversation towards them.
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  And then you bring form into it. You bring form
• 15:34
  into it. And you have the person or people talk
• 15:37
  about themselves. And then you bring the conversation
• 15:41
  around to what they do for a living. They've
• 15:45
  already told you all about their family and things
• 15:47
  that they like to do. So they're going to tell
• 15:49
  you about what they do for a living. And as they're
• 15:53
  talking about what they do, you're listening,
• 15:57
  active listening. So you're listening to them.
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  You respond to them. You say, so I understand
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  that you do this. And at the end, you say, you
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  know what? I like you. I like your business and
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  how you do it. How can I make you more successful?
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  How can I be a good referral source for you?
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  That usually blows them away. Mike, I don't even
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  know what you do yet. And you're saying this
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  to me? Remember, it's a giver's game. You're
• 16:31
  looking to go in there and help everybody that
• 16:34
  you can. What goes around comes around. They
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  will, in turn, refer you. But your interest right
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  now is to refer your person, this person that
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  you're talking to. So you do. And so you exchange
• 16:52
  cards and you explain what you do for a living.
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  Because the only time you're going to give your
• 16:58
  business card is if they ask for it. And on the
• 17:03
  back of the card, his card, the other card, her
• 17:06
  card. is you're going to write the date, the
• 17:09
  name of the function, and something you spoke
• 17:13
  about. Because he told you everything. So everything
• 17:17
  you spoke about. And then you'll hold that for
• 17:21
  your follow -up. Now, as a side note, like I
• 17:24
  said, I used to be in a mortgage business. I
• 17:27
  used to go to these events. I used to come home
• 17:30
  with a shoebox filled with business cards and
• 17:32
  say, look how good I did. Did I do good? No.
• 17:37
  I did not. So now with a three or four hour event,
• 17:41
  I come back with 15 or 20 business cards so I
• 17:46
  can follow up with them correctly. Now I told
• 17:50
  you all this was all for an introvert, extrovert.
• 17:54
  Now introvert is almost the same with a difference.
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  This is where you're going to bring in a friend,
• 18:03
  your sister, your brother, whoever knows you
• 18:05
  well, knows what you do well. Because let's go
• 18:11
  back to the beginning. Let's go back to the table.
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  When you're walking up to the table, you're listening
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  for the conversation. Is this a conversation
• 18:19
  that I want to be a part of? Yes, it is. Okay.
• 18:23
  So when the conversation comes around, you're
• 18:26
  the person who you came with. says you know something
• 18:30
  that is a great idea you know what michael really
• 18:34
  knows about that michael why don't you tell us
• 18:36
  about it and that is like an introduction so
• 18:40
  you don't feel overwhelmed and you do that so
• 18:44
  that if your partner does that enough times you're
• 18:48
  going to get used to it you get used to speaking
• 18:50
  with the person now don't become a wallflower
• 18:54
  don't walk into an event and immediately go to
• 18:57
  the wall and look at it, sip your drink and say,
• 19:01
  oh, there's a nice event. I'm not meeting anybody.
• 19:05
  If you see somebody that's like that, take it
• 19:10
  upon yourself, walk up to them, say, hey, how
• 19:14
  you doing? Hey, that's a nice blazer. Or I like
• 19:18
  your shoes. I like your blouse. Where'd you get
• 19:21
  it from? Something, anything outside of business,
• 19:24
  because that will make them. Make them more amenable
• 19:29
  to what you do, what you have, whatever else.
• 19:34
  But it's all for you. So remember, so now your
• 19:37
  follow -up. Oh, there's a secret sauce for follow
• 19:41
  -up. And you know what? I'm going to share it
• 19:43
  with you. I'm going to tell you what I use as
• 19:49
  a follow -up. And I say it's a secret sauce because
• 19:52
  it works the majority of the time. Nothing works,
• 19:56
  everything. But let's, okay, let's say you finish
• 20:00
  the event, you go back to your house, your office,
• 20:02
  wherever the case may be. You have 15 or 20 business
• 20:05
  cards. You're going to write an email that night.
• 20:10
  And you're going to say, hey, Michael, this is
• 20:13
  Michael. I met you last, I met you tonight at
• 20:17
  the networking event. Had a great time. Looking
• 20:19
  forward to speaking with you soon, Michael. That's
• 20:22
  it. Nothing else. And send it off. The next morning,
• 20:28
  here's the key. The next morning, you write a
• 20:32
  handwritten thank you note. That's right. Handwritten.
• 20:37
  I have about 50 of them in my briefcase. You
• 20:41
  write a handwritten thank you note. Hey, Michael,
• 20:44
  this is Michael. I met you on such and such date
• 20:47
  at such and such an event. We spoke about X,
• 20:51
  Y, Z. Now, remember. On the back of the business
• 20:54
  card, I have all that information. Hey, Michael,
• 20:58
  this is Michael. I met you on such and such day.
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  I met you at last night or such and such date.
• 21:03
  At such an event, we spoke about XYZ. I really
• 21:08
  hope we can do business soon, Michael. And put
• 21:13
  your business card in, send it off. Now, the
• 21:16
  mail's a little slow. You have to wait three
• 21:20
  or four days because if you haven't gotten a
• 21:23
  return email yet, send them another email. Hey,
• 21:29
  Michael, this is Michael. I met you on such and
• 21:32
  such date at such as an event. We spoke about
• 21:35
  X, Y, Z. Now notice I say the same thing every
• 21:39
  time I speak with them. Why? Because that'll
• 21:42
  bring me top of mind. That'll bring us. Oh, I
• 21:45
  remember him. We spoke about this. Or we spoke
• 21:48
  about that. Okay. Hey, Michael, this is Michael.
• 21:52
  I met you on such and such day. We spoke at such
• 21:55
  an event. We spoke about X, Y, Z. Hey, listen,
• 21:58
  I just noticed that next week, Tuesday and Wednesday
• 22:01
  seems to be clear. Would one of those days work
• 22:05
  with you to meet up and have a cup of coffee?
• 22:09
  Michael, send it off. Wait two or three days
• 22:13
  later, he still hasn't returned. Bad sign. But,
• 22:18
  hey, Michael, this is Michael. I met you on such
• 22:22
  and such date at such an event. We spoke about
• 22:24
  X, Y, Z. I said, Tuesday and Wednesday look pretty
• 22:27
  good. Tuesday's getting kind of full. How's Wednesday?
• 22:31
  Michael. Still didn't answer you. Two or three
• 22:35
  days later. Hey, Michael, this is Michael. I
• 22:38
  met you on such date at such an event. We spoke
• 22:41
  about X, Y, Z. I told you Tuesday and Wednesday
• 22:44
  were open. Tuesday was full. Wednesday is kind
• 22:48
  of full. Is there a good day for you? Okay. So
• 22:54
  what does that do? Well, that kind of closes
• 22:56
  out all the times that you've tried to reach
• 22:59
  out to him, but it leaves it open for him to
• 23:02
  contact you. Now, before doing all of this, when
• 23:07
  you meet with somebody, you want to reach out
• 23:10
  to them in a soft way. And what I mean by that,
• 23:13
  go to LinkedIn. Connect with them. Go to Instagram,
• 23:18
  see if they have it. Facebook, see if they have
• 23:20
  it. A YouTube channel, see if they have it. Wherever
• 23:23
  they're on social media, connect. Now, with LinkedIn,
• 23:29
  because I usually use that for business, right?
• 23:32
  So if you reach out LinkedIn, let's say they're
• 23:37
  in the roofing company, and you see an article.
• 23:42
  comparing metal roofs to shingle roofs and whatnot.
• 23:47
  I would attach that to your next message. You
• 23:51
  always want to bring value to the message. You
• 23:55
  never want to sell. You never want to sell, right?
• 23:59
  So you're bringing value to the relationship.
• 24:02
  If you bring value to it once, twice, even three
• 24:06
  times, they'll get the message and they will
• 24:09
  reach out to you. Now, I have a lot about using
• 24:14
  a CRM. And if you don't have one, if you don't
• 24:19
  have one, I would highly advise getting one.
• 24:23
  Because what it does, I said get 15 to 20 business
• 24:26
  cards from your event. That's great from the
• 24:31
  first one. There's somebody that I met on. other
• 24:35
  podcasts, where he has everything on one side
• 24:37
  of the computer. And as soon as he makes contact
• 24:40
  with them, he changes to the other side of the
• 24:41
  computer. That's great if you're only dealing
• 24:45
  with 15, 30 business cards. But what about the
• 24:49
  fifth, sixth, seventh time that you go to a networking
• 24:52
  event? What are you going to do with 150 cards?
• 24:55
  You're not going to sit there and play swapsies.
• 24:58
  You have to put them into a CRM. Because what
• 25:01
  will a CRM do? It'll keep you organized. And
• 25:06
  that's really, organization is key because you
• 25:10
  know what? You have to, organization is key because
• 25:15
  if you don't do it early, then you're going to
• 25:19
  lose out, right? You're going to lose something.
• 25:21
  You're going to leave money on the table. So
• 25:25
  remember, okay, I've given you a lot so far,
• 25:29
  and there's much more that I can give you, I
• 25:33
  can teach you. But you know what the most important
• 25:36
  thing is? Practice, practice. Okay? And you want
• 25:41
  to focus on building the relationship. You're
• 25:45
  not looking to sell. You're looking to building
• 25:48
  the relationship. And look, you can find the
• 25:51
  people on LinkedIn. And you know the people that
• 25:53
  you want to go after. Don't sell to them. Just
• 25:57
  build that relationship. And just remember the
• 26:02
  handwritten. thank you notes. Everybody that
• 26:06
  I coach, everybody that I talk to, that I teach,
• 26:10
  that I've been teaching this handwritten thank
• 26:12
  you note has gotten such favorable reviews, feedback
• 26:18
  reviews, feedback. And I've got a stack of a
• 26:23
  hundred thank you notes because every time I
• 26:26
  coach a client, I have them write me a thank
• 26:30
  you note just to get them into the habit. So
• 26:34
  with that being said, I want to tell you that
• 26:37
  giving is the fastest way to build that relationship.
• 26:44
  So I told you to build relationships. Giving,
• 26:48
  not receiving. That's the fastest way to build
• 26:54
  a relationship. And remember, people hate to
• 26:58
  be sold. They hate to be sold to. They love to
• 27:04
  buy. And a way to think about you in somebody,
• 27:09
  you networking in itself, don't think about how
• 27:13
  many people are in your network. Think about
• 27:17
  how many people, how many people that you are
• 27:21
  in their network, right? So just remember, that's
• 27:26
  very important. So that's what I have to tell
• 27:30
  you. First of all, doing my podcast was just
• 27:37
  an idea in the beginning, just a way for me to
• 27:40
  spread the word that I can. I can help other
• 27:44
  people. It's turned into quite a bit more. I've
• 27:49
  had wonderful guests from besides Canada, Mexico.
• 27:54
  Australia, the UK, Israel, Egypt. I've had them
• 27:59
  from all over and all of them bring something
• 28:01
  different to networking. So it's very important.
• 28:06
  And I tell them all, networking is the base of
• 28:10
  all businesses. But anyway, okay, all right.
• 28:15
  That's a wrap for episode 100. And I'm Michael
• 28:20
  Foreman. Thank you for sticking with me through
• 28:24
  100 chances to mess up and to mess up a handshake
• 28:28
  and 100 ways to get it right. If one of today's
• 28:32
  actions landed for you, do me a favor. Cry it
• 28:36
  within the next 24 hours and send me a one -sentence
• 28:40
  victory report. I'd live for those. So just send
• 28:44
  it to michael at michaelaforman .com. You can
• 28:51
  subscribe to subscribe wherever you get podcasts.
• 28:55
  Leave a quick review. If this episode helped
• 28:58
  you or if it made you laugh, I'll tell a colleague
• 29:03
  that treats LinkedIn like a museum that didn't
• 29:06
  want to do it. They get a connection. They'll
• 29:08
  leave it. They don't bring value, bring value
• 29:11
  to your network. Remember, go to foreman .com
• 29:15
  because I have digital courses on there from
• 29:19
  the. beginner to the experienced. I have a full
• 29:24
  course on there. Everything I just talked about
• 29:26
  plus more. But I also have networking made simplistically.
• 29:33
  I have networking for realtors. I have all sorts
• 29:37
  of podcasts. So let me tell you, I'm going to
• 29:41
  see you next week or actually later on this week.
• 29:44
  And I just want you to put the useful moves.
• 29:49
  And if you do what I told you, you'll increase
• 29:54
  profits. I did this with a company. I think I
• 29:57
  traveled to Ohio. And I got a call back about
• 30:01
  four months later. I said, Mike, we brought in
• 30:04
  everything that you told us to do. We increased
• 30:07
  our ROI by $25 ,000. So it works. So if anything.
• 30:15
  Hats off to you. Hats off to me. Whatever. I
• 30:18
  will see you for number 101. Thank you and have
• 30:23
  a good night. Hold on, folks. Don't go anywhere.
• 30:27
  Let's hear from our sponsors. David Neal, co
• 30:30
  -founder, Revved Up Kids. Revved Up Kids is on
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  a mission to protect children and teens from
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  sexual abuse, exploitation, and trafficking.
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  They provide prevention training programs for
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  children, teens, and adults. To learn more, go
• 30:46
  to revvedupkids .org. Henry Kaplan, Century 21.
• 30:51
  When it comes to making the biggest financial
• 30:53
  decision of your life, leave it in the hands
• 30:56
  of a proven professional, Henry Kaplan. Henry
• 31:00
  is a global real estate agent with Century 21,
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  celebrating his 41st year in business. No matter
• 31:07
  where you're moving, Henry has the right connections
• 31:10
  for you. You can contact Henry at 561 -427 -4888.