Latest / Forged In The Dark / Get Used to Being Uncomfortable
Transcript
- Forged In The Dark: I sat with someone recently who was very sad and very overwhelmed and completely sincere when she looked at me and said, Jamie, what does it actually take to become someone you've never been before? a million different things. Welcome to Forged in the Dark. I'm your host, Jamie. Let's dig in. This is not the episode I had planned today. I I I was going to talk about the fall equinox and light and dark, and I was going to compare the piece of growth where you learn to let go. I I was gonna relate that to the leaves, to the season, to fall. But then this conversation found me. And when I tell you it takes a million different little things, tiny choices every day, that's what it takes. And it all begins with your choice. Every single choice you have ever made has gotten you to where you are today, whether you like it or not. And every single choice you make today will get you to where you're going tomorrow. And every single thing you say, do, think, and feel matters. If you call, if you do something dumb and you call yourself dumb, your brain does not know how to take that joke. Your brain is just going to register that you are calling yourself dumb. whatever you are focused on, you are going to bring into your life. If you are focused solely on what is not working and how life how hard life is, that is all you are ever going to get. And and I looked at this woman and and I told her that I have a podcast and we talk about this stuff. We we talk about what it actually takes to become someone you've never been before. And and we talked about how frustrating it is. that that i can hand every single one of you my exact formula my exact system i i could spend days weeks years documenting every single choice that i ever made in the dark when no one was looking and i could hand it to you i could hand it to you as a workbook as a playbook as a manual for your life But you would still have to use it. Now, this woman that I was sitting across from, it turns out that that she knows what she needs to do to not be so sad. She knows what she needs to do to not be so overwhelmed, but she refuses to do it. And so now I am going to talk about the tree because The tree does not care if you want it to dump all of those leaves in your yard or not. Come fall, those leaves are gone. Their their purpose is served. It's time to let them go. And the tree has a whole process of this. As soon as the temperature starts to get cooler, The trees reduce their chlorophyll. And that allows the colors underneath to shine through, to come through. Those colors have been there all along. The trees, what you see as them putting on a show. Is actually a process of the trees creating a seal and removing the nutrients from the leaves to store for the new foliage in the spring. It's a whole process that you don't see. But imagine if one day the trees just stopped. The trees without letting go of what was no longer serving them. Ultimately would not thrive because they would miss the slow seasons, they would miss the dark seasons, they would miss the root growth that happens when no one's watching, when it's winter, when it's cold. The tree looks like it's asleep, but it's still working. And for this woman. She has access to all of the tools and resources at her disposal. Like she's got she has me sitting right across from her. But she's not willing to do the work. When I tell you it takes a million little things to become someone you've never been before, It's it's because it's true. There are a lot of experts that will stand up in front of you and say, This one method will change your life, my method will change your life. And I know those people exist, and I know that I've bought their programs before, and I've bought their packages before, and sometimes I've gotten results, and sometimes I haven't. But what I do know is When you take a combination of tools that work for you, it takes some trial and error, it takes some effort, it takes some dedication. When I first started practicing gratitude, I I set the stage for success. I went out and I bought a sign that's or a picture that says start each day with a grateful heart. And I hung it right on the wall at the foot of my bed so I would wake up in the morning and practice gratitude. Well, gratitude was a huge game changer for me. And so was meditation, and so was hypnosis, and so was therapy, and so was coaching. And so was rewiring the neural network in my brain. All of those things I talk about a lot because I did change my life that way. But the difference between someone who says they want to change their life and someone who actually puts in the work, it's vast. It is a million different choices. It is a million awkward moments. It is cringe worthy moments. It is showing up when you don't want to. Someone else recently asked me how I pull myself out of bed at 4 a.m. I set my alarm before I go to sleep. I tell myself that I got the best night's sleep, woke up refreshed with my alarm, I make the choice ahead of time. This is what I'm going to do. And then when I do get up at four, it is a vote of confidence for myself. And if I can do this work, you can do this work too. The woman sitting across from me, she she was drained, she was depleted, She's carrying too heavy of a load. What better time than fall to carve out some time and sit down with yourself and reflect. And I don't have all of your answers, but I promise you that you do. But you must be willing. You must be willing to think of yourself like the tree and simply let go what's not working. I mean, think about think about what you want to let go of as a rope. And you keep dropping the rope, but then inevitably you pick it back up, and then you drop it and you pick it back up. Vicious cycle. What if that rope were a rattlesnake? Would you be so so comfortable just reaching down and picking it back up? No. You would proceed with caution or you would go the opposite direction. When comes to Becoming someone you've never been before, you must expect it to be uncomfortable. It is possible to be uncomfortable and take action. Wait, it's not just possible. It's necessary in this process. And I know life sometimes seems hard, and I know it seems harsh and unfair, but I promise you these challenges are here to shape you. They're here to mold you. They're here to refine you. This lady sitting across from me, I said, it seems to me like the heat needs to be turned up. And she actually gave me a look that made me feel like I was being insensitive there. And maybe I was. But what's it going to take? You have your answers. You have the tools and resources at your disposal. Think about how much lighter you would be if, like the trees, when it was time to let go, you just dropped the leaves. Okay, that's what I have for you today. Until next time.