Latest / All About The Joy / Imagination: The Power of Childhood Wonder and Creative Downtime

Transcript

Imagination: The Power of Childhood Wonder and Creative Downtime · All About The Joy

• 0:12
  Carmen Lezeth: Okay, what is one of my favorite childhood memories?
• 0:15
  Carmen Lezeth: I would say being able to sit on a bench in a park and it was actually the Boston Commons watching people go by.
• 0:29
  Carmen Lezeth: And as I'm watching people just walk on by, I'm imagining who they might be in the world.
• 0:41
  Carmen Lezeth: So I used to do that a lot as a kid.
• 0:44
  Carmen Lezeth: I used to just kind of sit around and not just people watch, but then imagine that somebody and it was always opposite of what you would think they were, right.
• 0:55
  Carmen Lezeth: So if somebody walked by and they were a homeless person, you know, begging for money or just going from one place to the other, my thought process would be that they were actually a surgeon and that they were doing some experiments, trying to see if people would treat them a certain way if they were dressed a certain way, as opposed to when they were wearing scrubs or something.
• 1:24
  Carmen Lezeth: Or I would do that with business people all the time too, like a business person who was all spiffy and like back then, when I was growing up, they were called yuppies, right.
• 1:36
  Carmen Lezeth: So I think it meant young, urban, professional, and it was just a thing in the 80s and the 90s, I guess.
• 1:41
  Carmen Lezeth: And I would see these very successful beautiful people in suits and their glasses and their briefcases, and I would, you know, imagine that actually it was all a facade, right that it was.
• 1:57
  Carmen Lezeth: They were actually homeless people and that they had stolen the clothes out of Violines or Jordan Marsh, which were the department stores back in the day where I grew up.
• 2:07
  Carmen Lezeth: But I loved using my imagination.
• 2:13
  Carmen Lezeth: The irony is I didn't know that that's what I was doing, right?
• 2:16
  Carmen Lezeth: I spent a lot of time alone as a kid and, to my great surprise, I think it was one of the best things about growing up.
• 2:28
  Carmen Lezeth: Now, make no mistake, I am an extrovert.
• 2:30
  Carmen Lezeth: I don't you know, sit here and try to do this thing where people like, oh, I'm so much more introverted, as if being an extrovert is a bad thing.
• 2:40
  Carmen Lezeth: I think we're all a little bit of everything, but I am definitely an extrovert.
• 2:45
  Carmen Lezeth: I love people.
• 2:46
  Carmen Lezeth: I love being around people.
• 2:48
  Carmen Lezeth: I love, you know, kind of the idea of feeding off the energy of people, like when you walk into a party or if you're doing a presentation or if you have something to say and people are so interested.
• 3:05
  Carmen Lezeth: I love all of that and I love interacting with people.
• 3:07
  Carmen Lezeth: But the reason why I feel so comfortable around people, no matter where they come from or what status they think they're in, or if they're a celebrity or a lawyer or a janitor or a teacher or a doctor.
• 3:21
  Carmen Lezeth: I don't care.
• 3:22
  Carmen Lezeth: I get along with most people because I feel like I do so much individual, private, quiet, introverted thinking type of thing and it's nothing that I was taught.
• 3:38
  Carmen Lezeth: I think when you can imagine and use your imagination to try to pretend where these people may have really come from and you create all of these stories, I think inevitably you get really comfortable with the doctor, the lawyer, the presidents and the prime ministers, or because they're all a part of your world in a way, right, because you've been seeing them as characters and not actually as real people, and so I have always done that and I think it's part of the reason why I've always been pretty comfortable around people.
• 4:20
  Carmen Lezeth: I think one of the things that I fear in this generation I'm not trying to lump all of Gen Z or millennials, but Gen Z specifically into this situation but because we have such great technology, right, because we have such access to things like the Internet and AI and we all have phones and computer and access to information there's not a lot of alone time, and I don't mean alone time where it's like you and your device like you and watching YouTube.
• 4:59
  Carmen Lezeth: I think what I mean is just being quiet by yourself and creating in your head stories or just imagining what your life could be like if A, b, c or D happened, and it be a positive thing, not something based on fear.
• 5:18
  Carmen Lezeth: And I think if I miss anything about my childhood is the ability to be so easily able to have that quiet time, to journey into imagination world and use it as a way to move forward right, to find positivity, to find joy, because for me it really was survival.
• 5:42
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm not going to sit here and paint it as anything else.
• 5:46
  Carmen Lezeth: I had a lot of alone time because I was by myself a lot and it was just the circumstances of how I grew up and being able to find a way to entertain myself or to pass the time so that I didn't have to worry so much because I was a big worrier and I walked around a lot in fear.
• 6:08
  Carmen Lezeth: I was always afraid.
• 6:09
  Carmen Lezeth: You know that happens when you're a little kid and you don't really have consistency in adults supervising you or people taking care of you on a regular basis.
• 6:19
  Carmen Lezeth: You tend to be skittish and fearful about a lot of things, and that was a lot of my childhood as well, as I'm sure it's a lot of other people's experience as well.
• 6:28
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm not trying to make it any different, but I found myself alone a lot, and what that did for me was not only allow me to you know kind of brainstorm about what might have been or what could have been but it was a survival mechanism but it also helped me find stories that would bring me joy, and I think that's a really great thing.
• 6:54
  Carmen Lezeth: And I fear that we may have lost a little bit of that or a lot of that because there's so much information load that is so external.
• 7:02
  Carmen Lezeth: It's coming from somewhere else, right, it's not coming from within.
• 7:07
  Carmen Lezeth: And even when it does come from within, sometimes it's a little bit more manufactured, right, it takes a little bit more digging.
• 7:16
  Carmen Lezeth: And look at I'm saying this for myself as well, as an adult it's.
• 7:19
  Carmen Lezeth: I have to turn things off, I have to force myself to have quiet time where I'm not doing anything, and I know a lot of people will then be like, oh no, but I read all the time Again, that's information coming from an external place.
• 7:35
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm saying actually having the time to just sit, to just sit and be with yourself and just think and dream and imagine and create and consider a character or who you might be.
• 7:54
  Carmen Lezeth: Oh, I'll tell you one of the stories I used to do all the time.
• 7:57
  Carmen Lezeth: It's such a cheesy story, but every time I see this on Hallmark Channel or any of I'm laughing because I'm like that is so my story.
• 8:05
  Carmen Lezeth: But maybe it's just more what we're alike as human beings.
• 8:08
  Carmen Lezeth: I don't know, but I used to have this thing that I would think about, wherever I was staying, that there'd be a knock on the door and for some reason it'd be the president of the United States, I don't know why and the head of some important maybe the FBI, I don't know why, and, like the head of you know some important, like maybe the FBI.
• 8:26
  Carmen Lezeth: I mean, I was too young to really understand it all, so, but I would imagine that it would be someone really important a prime minister, a president, whatever would knock on the door and they would tell me that they found my father and this was a consistent story of my imagination growing up and that he was extremely and is extremely wealthy, that they have to fly me to a castle that belongs to him and that I would get to meet him and that my entire life would be so different, right, and then my imagination would just go into this.
• 9:02
  Carmen Lezeth: You know, I was riding horses, which, can I just tell you, I've never ridden a horse in my life, nor will I, because every time I'm near a horse I just feel such a kinship to it.
• 9:12
  Carmen Lezeth: I can't get on its back.
• 9:15
  Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean.
• 9:15
  Carmen Lezeth: But in my imagination I have all of these horses and on all these stables and we live on this castle and you know, I have maids and butlers and all of this weird stuff, and it's just, it's every time, because no offense to Hallmark, but sometimes I watch some of those you know storylines and I'm like dude, that's what I was thinking about when I was 12.
• 9:41
  Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, but I do think that if I miss anything most about my childhood, it is the freedom and the ability to dream in such a powerful way that it felt real, and also that there wasn't just a beginning, middle and end, but that the ending was always a happy ending in the story, you know.
• 10:09
  Carmen Lezeth: And part of people watching was inserting some of those characters into the storyline and I miss that and I try to do that.
• 10:20
  Carmen Lezeth: I do a lot of writing in the morning.
• 10:21
  Carmen Lezeth: As people know, I have a journal that I keep every morning and I handwrite.
• 10:26
  Carmen Lezeth: That's one of the reasons why I do still use paper and pen.
• 10:31
  Carmen Lezeth: There's a texture to it, there's an ability to zone into that part of my brain that I used as a kid for imagination, and that's what happens.
• 10:41
  Carmen Lezeth: I let out a lot of stuff.
• 10:43
  Carmen Lezeth: I always write in the morning and I really do enjoy kind of that whole process because it gets me there right After I do my whole drudgery of whatever it is I want to complain about.
• 10:56
  Carmen Lezeth: I then go into that space where I'm trying to imagine something that could be more positive than whatever I'm going through that week or during the day or whatever it is.
• 11:09
  Carmen Lezeth: I tend to always want to find a silver lining in whatever situation I'm in, right, I mean, that's why, you know, people kind of are thrown by all about the joy.
• 11:21
  Carmen Lezeth: But it really, you know, when I did a deep dive into kind of my childhood not only writing the first book, canela, but also just thinking about what I wanted to name my company this was the constant theme in my heart as a kid and still today, I am absolutely an optimist.
• 11:44
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm absolutely a much more positive person than maybe I should be.
• 11:49
  Carmen Lezeth: I don't know based on how I grew up as a kid, but I feel like a lot of what I did as a child was always trying to dig myself out of whatever situation I thought I was in, and the only way I could do that was by finding a morsel of hope, which I just call joy.
• 12:12
  Carmen Lezeth: Right, if you can find yourself to a positive place, you can usually find your way and dig yourself out of whatever hole you're in, in some metaphorical way at least.
• 12:26
  Carmen Lezeth: Right?
• 12:27
  Carmen Lezeth: Look, I even do this a lot in present day.
• 12:30
  Carmen Lezeth: It's not just the imagination thing and the writing in the journal, but every once in a while I'll go buy a lottery ticket.
• 12:35
  Carmen Lezeth: I think maybe a lot of us do this, right, you'll go buy a lottery ticket and then for an hour or so or whatever it is even if it's five minutes or if it's all day you start dreaming about the possibilities.
• 12:45
  Carmen Lezeth: You start considering what would happen if you hit and you won a million dollars or whatever it is, all the things you would do and how your life would change, and that's kind of the same concept.
• 12:58
  Carmen Lezeth: I mean, I use buying a lottery ticket in the same way as I did as a kid, sitting on that bench trying to imagine stories that would be better than the one I was living, so that I could move myself out of whatever the situation I was in real life dealing with to the next step, because you could find a morsel of hope.
• 13:20
  Carmen Lezeth: And look it, I'm not sitting here advocating people buy lottery tickets.
• 13:25
  Carmen Lezeth: That's not my point, but I'm just giving you an example.
• 13:28
  Carmen Lezeth: That's kind of.
• 13:29
  Carmen Lezeth: I think sometimes what I do is when I know I'm at my limit and music can't get me out, my friends acting as therapist isn't helping me, or I'm just sitting at home, kind of in doom, gloom situation.
• 13:44
  Carmen Lezeth: Sometimes it takes me just going for a walk, and that walk may be to the local grocery store to get a lottery ticket, so that I can just try to imagine a different life, you know.
• 13:55
  Carmen Lezeth: So I do wish that it was easier to use my imagination on a regular basis.
• 14:04
  Carmen Lezeth: Today I am lucky because my routine is such that in the morning I am journaling, and I think that is part of still keeping in tune with finding positivity and being creative and, you know dreaming through writing, it's the way I can zone out.
• 14:24
  Carmen Lezeth: But when you're a kid and you have time and you have no phone and you have no TV and you have no computer, and you're sitting outside and you're just looking at the trees or you're looking at people or you're looking at, you know, cars going by and you can just start to imagine what the world would be like if you changed a few things.
• 14:51
  Carmen Lezeth: Or if you, you know, could imagine that an elephant walked by in the middle of the street, or, you know, I would do weird things too.
• 14:58
  Carmen Lezeth: I would do weird things like I would imagine something silly, like an elephant wouldn't be on a city street, but I would do that.
• 15:07
  Carmen Lezeth: You know what would happen if out of nowhere.
• 15:09
  Carmen Lezeth: And then you start doing the backstory why did the elephant get there and why are all the people freaking out?
• 15:16
  Carmen Lezeth: It's just an elephant.
• 15:19
  Carmen Lezeth: I will also say that I do miss my childhood, again from the outside, looking in, I guess, when people, especially when people read the book.
• 15:26
  Carmen Lezeth: It wasn't my intention, but people learned stuff that made them sad for me about my childhood.
• 15:32
  Carmen Lezeth: But I had a fantastic childhood and I think a lot of it had to do with the fact that I had a very positive outlook on life just in general.
• 15:42
  Carmen Lezeth: So if I could give one piece of advice, I guess, to anyone today who might be listening is take more time to just be quiet, not to read or listen to music, or can you sit somewhere and not think about anything in particular, whatever comes to your mind, just let it flow, but make sure it's not about work or the kids or your husband or your wife or whatever.
• 16:14
  Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean.
• 16:14
  Carmen Lezeth: Like just can you get to, and I think it takes a long time for people to get there, to really be able to like think about nothing and then to start creating from that nothingness place.
• 16:24
  Carmen Lezeth: Right, I think it takes people a long time to get there because we're so consumed with so much input and information from everywhere.
• 16:33
  Carmen Lezeth: I think that is one of the most brilliant gifts I've been given.
• 16:37
  Carmen Lezeth: I think it's one of the best things about how I grew up.
• 16:41
  Carmen Lezeth: That I cherish is not feeling guilty about being quiet.
• 16:46
  Carmen Lezeth: You think sometimes people will rest and feel guilty about it.
• 16:54
  Carmen Lezeth: They will want to be by themselves and not do anything, and if you hear people, they'll be like I took the weekend off and I did absolutely nothing, but you can hear in their voice there's like a guilt to it, like they should have been doing laundry or painting the house or fixing a car or something.
• 17:11
  Carmen Lezeth: You kind of always hear this because, especially in the United States, I don't think we value downtime at all or enough, and I think it's part of maybe what makes us so uniquely beautiful as human beings is the ability to create and the ability to imagine, and we can't do that if we're constantly doing, doing, doing right.
• 17:39
  Carmen Lezeth: I always say if I didn't have to work 40, 50 hours a week, I could probably write the great American novel or I could, you know, do so many things.
• 17:48
  Carmen Lezeth: If I could spend more time doing nothing.
• 17:50
  Carmen Lezeth: I could then figure out how to move forward and do the things that I really want to do.
• 17:57
  Carmen Lezeth: I mean, it's kind of hard to do that when you're working all the time doing something maybe you don't love.
• 18:03
  Carmen Lezeth: And you know people and everyone, everyone knows I love a lot of these kind of wisdom-esque people and I know what they mean when they say certain things.
• 18:14
  Carmen Lezeth: But it really is not easy to pursue your dreams when you can't make ends meet and it really isn't all about you need to.
• 18:24
  Carmen Lezeth: Just, you know, if that's really what you want to be and that's what you want to do, you have to drop everything and just do that.
• 18:30
  Carmen Lezeth: You have to find a way.
• 18:30
  Carmen Lezeth: You have to hustle, hustle, hustle.
• 18:32
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm, you know, as I'm getting older and I'm realizing I still haven't accomplished some of the goals I have set for myself.
• 18:38
  Carmen Lezeth: Goodness knows, I've accomplished a lot of other goals that other people thought I should have accomplished, but the ones that I want to set for myself I still haven't done.
• 18:45
  Carmen Lezeth: And it isn't for lack of trying, it's exhaustion, and I think that's fair enough.
• 18:52
  Carmen Lezeth: And some people will say, well then, you don't want it bad enough or whatever.
• 18:56
  Carmen Lezeth: And I don't subscribe to any of that because I think saying some of the things that we say makes us feel better but may not be actually true, right?
• 19:06
  Carmen Lezeth: So when people tell you things like you should let go and let God, that sounds good.
• 19:12
  Carmen Lezeth: But how do you let go of something that you're upset about?
• 19:17
  Carmen Lezeth: How do you do that?
• 19:18
  Carmen Lezeth: You can't just turn a switch in your body and say I'm now going to let go of the situation, and so that's kind of you know, just an aside kind of example.
• 19:30
  Carmen Lezeth: But if you want to be.
• 19:33
  Carmen Lezeth: Whatever it is you want to be, yes, you need to pursue it.
• 19:36
  Carmen Lezeth: You need to do it to the best of your ability.
• 19:38
  Carmen Lezeth: But if you don't get there, maybe that's not the right time.
• 19:42
  Carmen Lezeth: Maybe it's going to happen at a different time and in a different way.
• 19:45
  Carmen Lezeth: You don't have to feel bad about not hustling the way in which whoever latest life coach guru is telling you to do it right.
• 19:54
  Carmen Lezeth: And I sometimes feel bad because I get so angry like I am hustling, like what else you want me to do.
• 19:59
  Carmen Lezeth: This is about as much hustling as one person can take or do.
• 20:04
  Carmen Lezeth: So if I were to go back, go back to that time when I was a kid and was on a bench in the Boston Commons watching people walking back and forth and imagining that what they were presenting themselves to be as they walked past me was actually the opposite of what they actually were, if I would go back to that time and I could just sit for a minute and create and be and do, I can feel really good about myself.
• 20:34
  Carmen Lezeth: And I think that's what happens every morning for me, when I write in my journal and I just sit and I think about all the things I want to think about and I create things.
• 20:45
  Carmen Lezeth: This morning, I started thinking about a character that I would love to put on screen in a film, and here's the thing there's no story, but I have this amazing character that I think would be so brilliant and I want to take that character and I want to make a story with that character.
• 21:04
  Carmen Lezeth: And I created that this morning.
• 21:06
  Carmen Lezeth: Now, in three days from now, when I reread that, I might be like, yeah, no, that's not going to work, but it was so fun to do.
• 21:12
  Carmen Lezeth: You know, I think we need to do more of that.
• 21:15
  Carmen Lezeth: I think kids need to be encouraged, but I think adults do too.
• 21:18
  Carmen Lezeth: We need to be able to go back to that place where our minds can play, and I think that's what I would always want to embrace is the ability to not be childlike, because we play differently as we get older, but to remember what it was you were imagining when you were playing and I think that's what I did when I was sitting on a bench is I would just be playing with the ideas that would come to me and I would create things, and it was fantastic.
• 22:01
  Carmen Lezeth: And when I can do it now as an adult, I take advantage of it fully and completely, and I wish other people would do that too, and that they would teach their kids you know what?
• 22:10
  Carmen Lezeth: It's okay to sit and do absolutely nothing.
• 22:13
  Carmen Lezeth: You don't have to be doing something 24-7.
• 22:16
  Carmen Lezeth: You can take time and just be, as always.
• 22:22
  Carmen Lezeth: Thank you for stopping by.
• 22:23
  Carmen Lezeth: All About the Joy.
• 22:24
  Carmen Lezeth: This is Carmen Talk.
• 22:26
  Carmen Lezeth: We always, always, always appreciate you taking the time.
• 22:29
  Carmen Lezeth: Please like, share and subscribe.
• 22:32
  Carmen Lezeth: We hope you'll join us on Thursday night, 6pm Pacific, 9pm Eastern, on our show, the live stream Thursday nights.
• 22:39
  Carmen Lezeth: And yeah, you can always catch replays on YouTube, on Facebook and on LinkedIn.
• 22:44
  Carmen Lezeth: And yeah, we'll see you again next time.
• 22:48
  Carmen Lezeth: Bye, thanks for stopping by.
• 22:52
  Carmen Lezeth: All About the Joy.
• 22:53
  Carmen Lezeth: Be better and stay beautiful.
• 22:55
  Carmen Lezeth: Folks, have a sweet day.