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Interview with Serena Rezentes Part1 · The Living Freed Podcast

0:19
Thank you for tuning in to the Living Freed Podcast.
0:23
Today with me, I have Serena, who is, let me
0:26
just hype her up for a second, y 'all. She is
0:28
my bestie for how many years now? Like 20 plus
0:31
years, I think. I'm about to turn 29 and we met
0:34
when I was eight. Yeah, so 21 years. Well, okay,
0:38
to be fair, we weren't friends for that first
0:41
year. So 20 years. 20 years. Yeah. BFFs for 20
0:45
years. You hated me. I could feel it rolling
0:47
off you, but it's okay. Just the one year I hated
0:50
you. I got past it. I grew. I matured. I turned
0:53
eight years old. You know, we get older and wiser.
0:57
It's those eights. It's those eights. Yeah. Serena's
1:01
my favorite person. She's someone who I don't
1:03
have to agree with on things. I feel like often
1:05
we disagree on things, but she's also my biggest
1:09
cheerleader, and I try to be hers. And we've
1:11
done a lot. We've traveled together across the
1:14
country and other places. We've watched each
1:17
other go through heartbreaks and the good parts.
1:20
We've put up with each other's boyfriends in
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the past, but now I love the current one. So,
1:25
yeah. Serena's my ride or die. Anyways, so Serena,
1:30
what do you like about me? I'm just kidding.
1:33
Where to start? Where to start? Can we start
1:35
with what we don't like? As you all know from
1:38
last week's episode, I am here in Florida with
1:41
Serena. I told everybody I was coming to see
1:43
you and that we had a worship night happening
1:44
and possibly a bonfire and all the things. And
1:47
we did do those. We did do all of those and more.
1:50
And more. Yeah. And I have avoided the snow at
1:53
all costs. In fact, I got stuck in Florida for
1:55
a couple of extra days. Not upset about it. I'm
1:58
definitely not upset about it. I've been honestly,
2:00
I've been saying stay longer, stay permanently.
2:03
I need a new roommate. She's been saying move
2:05
in and rent is $1 ,500. I did not say that. It
2:09
is actually significantly cheaper. But, you know,
2:13
she's just trying to make it, you know, excuse
2:15
to not come back. But, you know, she has 30 days.
2:18
Guys, we're praying. One week, she's going to
2:21
know. We're praying. Okay. I wasn't going to
2:23
tell you this, but I might as well now. Shut
2:26
up. What craziness is about to come out of your
2:28
mouth? I'm scared. Legitimately, I had something
2:32
in my chest. Just go. So I was supposed to re
2:37
-sign my lease and I have like a month until
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I have to re -sign it. How can you not take out
2:44
a re -sign? It's okay. I told you it's going
2:46
to be more than that. But whenever I've been
2:48
so excited about the possibility, I've never
2:50
told you what was in it for you. But I'm telling
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you now, I know. It has been spoken. Also. I
2:56
just need to tell you that my intrusive thought
2:58
when you started, even though I knew it was your
3:01
intro to do, was to go, even though it's not
3:05
even on the song. You could have. I could have,
3:07
but then we had to restart. Yeah, it's true.
3:10
I control myself. All right, so we have a part
3:11
that we do what's in and what's out. I'll start
3:14
us, and then I'll kind of let you follow. You
3:18
can copy me if you want, okay? I like originality.
3:21
So my what's in. is visiting you in Florida.
3:24
Super easy peasy. My what's out is the Alaska
3:28
weather that North Carolina is experiencing that
3:31
I have to go to tomorrow. I had my original one.
3:34
Can I say my original one first and then the
3:35
one I was just thinking about? Please. What's
3:38
in is keeping your Christmas tree up till March.
3:41
What's out is the cold weather. Whether you're
3:45
in Florida, whether you're in Missouri, who lives
3:47
in Missouri? I don't know. Miserable. It's got
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to be. They got to be so tired of that joke too.
3:52
Can I just say, I do think Missouri is one of
3:54
those made up states. Kind of like North Dakota.
4:01
Like I don't really believe in North Dakota.
4:02
You said a lot of military there. For what? For
4:05
what? For what? Is it even real? This is something
4:07
we need to look into ASAP. My second one. What's
4:11
in right now? Speaking it in. Speaking it in.
4:15
well i have heard that you are will be moving
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here what's out okay don't put that in there
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sorry no what's out what's out you staying in
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wilmington next month yeah you're like you're
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what's in as you move to florida and you marry
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your future husband here what's out you going
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back to wilmington this has been me this is my
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plan for me and you obviously i'm just saying
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2026 is supposed to be something great. I already
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know it for so many reasons. But this would just
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be that cherry on top. It would be something
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for the ages. Just imagine the story. Now I was
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in denial. But your aunt, your aunt, you know
4:55
why we live here? Your aunt told me. Your aunt
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spoke it and she told me. But she knew it. It
5:02
wasn't that you hoped for it or thought it or
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what. She knew it. She said my husband was going
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to be here too. Look at your dad over there.
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I'm just kidding. Look at your husband over there.
5:15
Watching me from Missouri or North Dakota. Well,
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I guess we can ask the one I've been waiting
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for for you. That one I've been... I need to
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be praying about this more. Do you feel convicted
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about that? Not about that, but about what you
5:30
were talking about earlier. That girl that you
5:31
had met that is getting married. Cassidy? Oh,
5:35
McKenna. McKenna, sorry. Yeah. Sorry, McKenna.
5:38
Well, I prayed over both of them a lot. Well,
5:39
the one that... was immediately after you met
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her, you were just like, this is someone amazing.
5:44
I started praying for her husband immediately.
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But everyone that was at the rehearsal dinner,
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like immediately after they met her, was praying
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over that. Yeah. I pray over many things in detail,
5:54
but so many times you realize how many details
5:57
are missed. Yeah. And like you're talking to
5:59
people and you just go, oh, I do not pray about
6:02
that. I should be praying even more. Well, so.
6:05
Yeah, like I was telling you about her and I've
6:07
talked about it on the podcast, but I was praying
6:09
over her, Taylor, and Cassidy at the same time
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at one point consistently. And it was like Taylor
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got her husband, then McKenna, and now Cassidy's
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engaged. But we all went to dinner one night
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and we're sitting by the water in Wilmington.
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And I looked and they were talking about how
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much life had changed in just the year that we
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had known each other. And I was like, well, I've
6:28
been praying over you guys. And I just sat there
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and I like on the inside was filled with like
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filled with tears of joy because I was like,
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wow, I prayed so hard over y 'all's future husbands.
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And your lives have changed so much in the year.
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Now, am I saying it's me? Yeah, it was me. It
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was my prayers. They worked. But no, like it's
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just crazy. I would say if we all had that sway,
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but also we all have that sway. Yes. You know?
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Yeah. Yeah, the determination as a friend and
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really caring for their future. I mean, this
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way like with asking from God. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.
6:56
Well, that's that. We are going to dive into
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this week's episode. Okay. So don't say you're
7:08
sorry. I didn't say sorry. I said so awkward.
7:12
Oh, so awkward. How awkward can we make this
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actually? We fake argued in front of many strangers
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that made them uncomfortable, but it was just
7:21
humorous for us. So I'm sure we could make it
7:23
awkward for everybody. You know, even when we
7:24
are actually arguing, I'm never mad. Not really
7:28
either. It's kind of just like... When we play
7:30
games and I'm competitive, I feel angry. I feel
7:36
real anger sometimes. And I don't even want to,
7:40
but I can't even help myself. And you just laugh.
7:42
You sit there and you laugh at me, which makes
7:45
me more angry. It's so, because the thing is,
7:49
I'm not competitive. So watching other people
7:52
be passionate in their game about being competitive
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really gets me because I just don't have any
7:58
feelings, except for at one point I had feelings
8:00
towards Hugo. And I really thought I could flip
8:03
this board because he was just pissing me off.
8:07
And that's when I had to give up being willing
8:09
to win because I was in the good fight to win.
8:11
I was, you know, running the good race. And then...
8:15
You were trying to take my longest road. I was.
8:17
I did take it. We were back and forth, but I
8:20
already had the plan to take it over. That wasn't
8:21
the issue. I just needed one more point. And
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I just thought, wow, I really want Hugo to lose.
8:28
And I can surrender to Serena winning. You refused
8:33
to put Alice as close to me because you were
8:35
scared of me. I was so anti -working towards
8:39
you or with you in the beginning of the game.
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And at the end, I was like, I need Serena to
8:43
win. I need her to beat him first because she's
8:45
never beat him. And two, I have to watch his
8:48
empire crumble. I was doing a good job, though.
8:51
Or what was it? The thief? The stealer? The whatever.
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And we kept putting it on all of his numbers
8:56
during the game. Really, 10 rounds just from
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one number to the other. He did ask for that.
9:01
He did. He did ask for that. He started it. when
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he stole everybody's wood he got back into our
9:05
good graces then try to get right back into the
9:07
bad graces for that monopoly you know what that
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says a lot about his character i don't know if
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you should date him i wouldn't go that far i
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was gonna wait oh crap what was i gonna say oh
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no man but i get real silent because because
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i know if i open my mouth and i'm that angry
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i will i want to flip the board i want to scream
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at everybody the thing is i just know it's not
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going to do anything and you're just going to
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stare at me yeah and it makes it worse because
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you're not as angry as i am about it i don't
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know if i would stare at you i think i would
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fall on the ground laughing at you but i think
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if you like sometimes how angry you get sometimes
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it's like oh my gosh they are really angry about
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this and yes you could laugh and you're gonna
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tell everyone that you're gonna laugh but in
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the moment it's not always that simple and i
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would be even angrier Because you guys aren't
9:54
as angry with me. How stupid is that? Yeah. Some
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of us are more passionate than others. That's
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all I can say. I feel like this is a tangent
10:03
I don't want to hear about later. Okay. Anyways,
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so as y 'all heard in the intro, I've known Serena
10:09
my whole life. Still losing my voice over here.
10:12
And I guess it seems like a simple question what
10:15
I'm going to start off with when it comes to
10:17
your testimony. But... I feel like it's not because
10:21
you know when you know someone your whole life,
10:23
you feel like you know everything about them
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and then you realize you don't. I'm sure there's
10:27
things about my story that you probably aren't
10:30
super aware of and vice versa, even though I
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feel like I've told you pretty much everything.
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So I want to start at the beginning. What would
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you say, like what was the age range where you
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kind of took on your faith for Jesus? as your
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own like you were like I'm a Christian I believe
10:47
in God and this is my own faith I'm not just
10:49
doing it because the church tells me to or my
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parents raised me this way or whatever it's so
10:54
hard to pin down to me because there are so many
11:00
different layers of it but going back it's hard
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for me to find a time where I didn't I believe
11:07
what is put in front of me. Not because my parents
11:09
put it in front of me, but they presented such
11:11
a great argument. What they also did was present
11:15
the other side. So it wasn't like I was going
11:17
in blind or you're just believing what your parents
11:19
are telling you to believe. But as far as the
11:23
age. I don't know the exact age. I just know
11:27
that I was always willing to fight for that one.
11:29
And I believed it. I love, and you know this,
11:32
I loved Greek mythology. Yeah. I loved Egyptian
11:34
mythology. And it's so idealistic and fun and
11:37
all of that stuff. But when it comes down to
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it, I had to decide, do I want that, which is
11:42
so fun, or something that I believe to be the
11:46
most logical answer? And so I would say that's
11:49
how it started out for me too, is logic and knowledge
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of. the word more than a relationship with the
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word turned 13 and then I had an understanding
11:58
of you're going to heaven or hell you're choosing
12:02
God or you're not choosing God and then as I
12:04
got older I learned more about having a relationship
12:08
with God but that came from watching other people
12:10
and being around a community that was very friend
12:15
and father with God and not sovereign king and
12:19
ruler only so it's like there's a mix of both
12:23
instead when did the like uh like like emotional
12:26
relational portion like come to play in your
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life i'd say it was always different relation
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it was different relationship back then so it
12:37
was fear but not fear of being without god fear
12:42
of the discipline Like how you would be with
12:49
someone that was your ruler over you, your boss.
12:52
Not a loving father as much or a friend. So I
12:57
always had a relationship with him in that way.
13:01
And that definitely progressed the knowledge
13:03
there. But then as far as my understanding of
13:06
our relationship as father -daughter and also
13:11
as an unconditional love and my friend. I would
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say probably mid -20s. Early to mid -20s, that
13:21
started developing from there. Okay. Very long
13:24
answer, sorry. No, don't ever be sorry. I love
13:27
a long answer. I was going to say, was there
13:30
a time in your life where you felt like you were
13:33
validated in that faith? Especially seeing him
13:36
more as the loving father? What do you mean by
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validated? So for me, I've had things happen
13:43
in my life where... God has showed up or used
13:47
people to show up for me where I feel very validated
13:50
in my belief of him. And not just like, oh, God
13:53
exists, but like the character that I know of
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him. I'd say he's always showed up even before
14:00
I understood the relationship. So back when I
14:03
wasn't sure, I'd always ask God for signs and
14:06
things like that would be small things. And when
14:08
I thought he was hearing me least, he would always
14:11
make sure to show up. I was, whether I was willing
14:15
to see it or not, I guess is the best way to
14:17
describe it. And I can give examples later, but
14:19
moving forward, there's so many times. I don't
14:23
even know which one to start with, but I would
14:27
say my understanding of his relationship to me
14:31
has had its different moments on. when things
14:36
happen it makes me emotional to realize how much
14:39
he has given up or how much he does love me to
14:43
still yeah without hesitation show up for me
14:46
without hesitation provide for me he's given
14:48
me so much and yet I still find myself complaining
14:52
many times I find myself incredibly grateful
14:54
a lot of times yeah but then there's other times
14:57
like god are you listening to me I'm like what
14:59
is wrong with you obviously he's listening to
15:02
you so real have moments of being like And I
15:06
understand in those moments that I am blessed.
15:09
Sometimes your emotions are not always on your
15:12
side, you know? Yeah. It can be a hard fight
15:15
to fight. Just like your body's not always aligned
15:18
with that belief. So it can be hard to train
15:21
it all together. I feel that. Like there's times
15:24
I catch myself in ungratefulness and I'm like,
15:26
Hannah. He's done so much for you. What else
15:29
do you need? What else could you want? And then
15:31
I go into, like you said, emotional, almost crying,
15:35
where I'm just so overwhelmed with my gratefulness
15:37
at other times. And then I remind myself, I have
15:40
to remind myself to have grace with myself where
15:43
it's like, you're human. The Israelites did this.
15:46
David did this. They went through times of like,
15:48
God, where are you? Why are you not showing up
15:50
to being like, wow, you're the best God in the
15:52
whole wide world that's ever existed. The best
15:55
examples to me are Bible ones. They're the best
15:58
references going back that are good reminders
16:00
to myself to have grace with myself. Yeah. Because
16:05
we both grew up very much where perfection was
16:08
definitely put up on a platform. For sure. We
16:13
both never tried very hard to hit it. And when
16:18
we did, when we tried to, it would always fall
16:20
short. Yeah. Always. It never went very well
16:23
for us. No. Um, I had a question that I wanted
16:27
to, oh, so, cause you just said like the Bible
16:29
reference I was reading. No, I was listening
16:33
to this guy talk about a certain subject and
16:36
he, and Christians nowadays, and he is. Presbyterian
16:42
I think he's Reformed Presbyterian and he was
16:44
saying oh the thing that's wrong with Christians
16:48
versus Catholics is Christians whenever we say
16:51
something or we have an opinion on something
16:54
we feel like we have to back it up with scripture
16:55
but Catholics don't feel the need to back everything
16:59
their opinion on everything up with scripture
17:01
and I'm of the belief that like if you are stating
17:03
an opinion as a Christian whether it's a Christian
17:07
opinion or not you should have scripture To back
17:10
up what you believe. Do you know what I mean?
17:12
I think. So what are your thoughts on that? I
17:15
have so many thoughts on this. Tell me. I want
17:17
to break it down. Two different things. I want
17:19
to bring up your name. And also. You should have
17:24
something to support. What you're believing.
17:27
Because. Crap. I forgot everything. There's so
17:30
much. So my thoughts on that is like. Wait. Okay.
17:35
Go ahead. Okay. So like the simplest one. And
17:38
I talked about this. in my last episode. So I'm
17:40
sorry for those who have to re -hear it. But
17:41
the simplest one is like, okay, say you're, Caitlin's
17:45
going to hate me for using her as an example,
17:46
but say you're at a roundabout, it's midnight
17:49
and you have the freedom to like go counterclockwise
17:52
because nobody else is around. You can absolutely
17:55
do that. You're not going to put anybody else
17:57
at risk, right? Or you could obey the law and
18:01
go clockwise. You know what I mean? It's that
18:05
simple. Or whatever direction it's supposed to
18:07
be. I think it's the opposite. It's flipped.
18:09
And when I was talking with her, I was like,
18:11
well, he who is faithful in little will be faithful
18:12
in much. And she's like, you say that every time.
18:15
And I told her, I said, well, that's kind of
18:16
like how I live my life to a degree. Like every
18:19
choice I make is like, is it going to bring honor
18:22
and glory to God? Because like if I'm faithful
18:24
in the little things, I'll be faithful in the
18:25
big things. So that's my opinion. And so because
18:28
that's my opinion, I live my life off of that
18:30
Bible verse. So that's my backup. So like, but
18:34
do you feel like, Your opinions in that sense
18:36
should be able to be backed up by scripture.
18:38
100%. 100%. Whatever you believe in, I think
18:43
you should be able to back it up because how
18:45
can you tell someone something is true if you
18:47
can't show how it's true? Yeah. This is a logical
18:51
world of facts. But the two things I will bring
18:56
up is, one, the bible says lean on your own understanding
19:00
so how can you say something is the way that
19:04
it is without backing it up on his own word i
19:07
mean i guess people can take that the wrong way
19:09
and you can cut that if you want but the main
19:12
one that i would say is also you're backing up
19:15
what you're saying with its own word like you
19:19
would back up whatever you're doing with your
19:21
own name it has meaning so if you're going to
19:24
if you're gonna let's say let's talk about I
19:28
know maybe this is a lot for some people, but
19:29
if you're going to put yourself in a position
19:31
to represent something, whether that's all of
19:34
the crazy stuff that's going on right now in
19:36
this world or not. And then one day you realize
19:42
that you're on the wrong side, not because they
19:44
won or they lost, but because what was right
19:47
and what was wrong. But you were flimsy with
19:50
your name because you were unwilling to look
19:51
into what is true. I think you 100 % if you're
19:54
going to say something is true. If you're going
19:56
to put your name behind it, your name, like back
19:59
in the day when you have a name that has meaning,
20:03
it was given to you for a reason. You're living
20:06
your life that way. If you're going to put your
20:09
name behind it, you need to know because that's
20:11
supported. And so as a Christian, our biggest
20:14
facts and our biggest thing that we lean on is
20:16
the word of God. That is God. Would you say that
20:20
is God? Because the word is God. Yeah. So going
20:24
off of that then. Like what Bible verses have
20:27
impacted your life? Oh, man, I meant to pull
20:31
some of them to remember, but there have been
20:34
a couple. One that's been with me recently, I'd
20:37
say it's probably my verse of the year, is I
20:41
got to find the actual verse, but it's about
20:43
keeping your lamps full. Do you remember? What
20:46
about the bridesmaids? I think it was the bridesmaids.
20:49
And there were some of them that kept it on before
20:52
and they were having a good time then. And then
20:54
when Jesus came, they didn't have. Yeah, it was
20:56
like half empty. He's like, you can't come in.
20:59
You don't have what you need. Yeah, the bridegroom.
21:01
They were like, please share some of yours with
21:03
us. And the bridesmaids were like, no, go fill
21:05
it up. Yeah. And so they didn't make it in. So
21:08
it's just a good reminder that we don't know
21:12
the time he's coming. It could be now when so
21:15
many people think it is. It could be. hundreds
21:17
of years from now when other people think it
21:19
is. But the whole point is we'd never know. Is
21:23
your house in order? Is it not in order? That's,
21:25
you know, so it, it keeps me a little bit more
21:28
upright. And sometimes when I want to do something
21:31
that I know I shouldn't, it's a good reminder
21:33
that he might be coming back. Like, is this how
21:35
you want him to walk in? Yeah. Do you want to
21:37
be doing this when he walks in the door? I was,
21:40
I was having that conversation about just. Someone
21:45
was nitpicking other Christians for whatever
21:47
they watch or like read or whatnot. Yeah. And
21:50
I commented on this post. I said, honestly, I
21:53
would be okay if Jesus walked in. I was watching
21:55
Secret Life's Mormon Wives. I would be. I would
21:58
not be ashamed at all. Jesus would walk in. I
22:00
said I would pause it for sure because it's Jesus
22:03
and I want to hang out and talk to him. Yeah.
22:06
But I would not be embarrassed. I would not be
22:08
ashamed. I would not be mortified. I'd be like.
22:11
It's your lives and Mormon wives. And that's
22:12
kind of how I decide what I'm doing and how I'm
22:15
doing it. Is it right or wrong? I guess like
22:18
what, how would I feel if Jesus walked up and
22:20
I'd be like, is my house in order or not? Um,
22:23
but going off of that first, is there like a
22:25
unique way that you feel like God has set you
22:28
up to minister in life? Since you feel like you're
22:32
aware of being like in order and having things
22:34
in order, like, Oh, I do. I feel like there's
22:37
a certain way you show up because of God. has
22:39
set you up that way I think that's a great question
22:42
as far as you know this last few months have
22:46
been interesting because it's been a big transition
22:48
I feel like it's been a big transition period
22:50
because there's so many things that haven't been
22:52
in my life that um that are in my life now that
22:55
haven't been for a period of time I mean yeah
22:59
alone has taken a lot um of my time so it's quite
23:04
the turning period so back on your question though
23:07
Yeah, I think there are unique ways that he has
23:09
put me there to minister. I would say I'm willing
23:14
to talk to anybody. I really could care less
23:16
who they are. If I have something interesting
23:19
to say to them or I have an interesting question,
23:21
I don't care. I'll walk up to them. Oceanside,
23:25
about to plug them in right now. This has been
23:27
my church for over three years. If I know someone
23:30
is looking, like church comes up at all. come
23:32
to my church. Yeah. Like I don't, I don't really
23:36
care. I just want them to be involved somewhere.
23:38
I want them to experience what community is like,
23:41
but true community. Um, and so I think, I don't
23:48
know if I would say God gave me empathy too,
23:49
but a willingness to just talk to anybody would
23:52
be number one of the one ways. Number two. is
23:55
I love connecting people so it's not just like
23:57
talking to them but kind of introducing them
24:00
how we talked about before like introduce them
24:02
and you know how to ask the other questions and
24:04
get them involved so um just I would say talking
24:08
connecting do you um feel like you've been set
24:14
up in that way in ministry because you've experienced
24:16
the opposite oh yeah 100 yeah I might be one
24:21
of the most extroverted people you know. Yeah.
24:23
And many people tell me I'm extremely extroverted.
24:25
But I also experienced extreme loneliness for
24:29
the majority of my life. I can talk to anyone.
24:35
I can befriend anyone. Finding those deeper relationships
24:37
without feeling exclusion was a whole different
24:40
ballgame. So knowing how people must feel. When
24:44
they cannot connect or don't know how to talk
24:46
to people. And I do know how to talk to people.
24:49
At least I don't have that excuse. It makes me
24:53
feel for them. I don't want them to feel that
24:56
way. So I'll go my way. And even if it's possible
25:01
that they already know someone, I'd rather double
25:02
check. And then get them involved. Because I
25:07
didn't have someone to do that for me. I had
25:09
to do that myself. Do you feel like... doing
25:14
like service work at church serving your church
25:16
has impacted your relationship with jesus at
25:19
all oh yeah 100 okay and how did you how did
25:24
you get into that like how did you decide to
25:26
start serving in church how did you get into
25:28
it was it hard was it weird like what feelings
25:31
went with that as well there's so many feelings
25:33
it was hard to get involved but I think that
25:37
comes with making a relationship with people
25:39
because when you're really getting involved,
25:40
you're getting in the nitty gritty of the community
25:42
and you really have to get to know people to
25:44
become part of the community. One of the reasons
25:46
I want people to connect because there is such
25:48
a positive part about being with community. But
25:51
it is what got me wanting to connect is I was
25:55
with the church from. very young up until I was
26:00
allowed, I moved out and then I wasn't allowed
26:02
to go to another church, not really, not often
26:05
at least. And I started going off on my own,
26:08
experiencing a lot of things on my own. I wanted
26:11
a home church, could not find a home church.
26:12
I wanted to serve and I wanted to, I longed to
26:17
serve and I longed to be poured into, but finding
26:21
the place where I felt like that was where I
26:22
was supposed to be. And I know feelings can be
26:25
fleeting. I tried many places. It was lonely.
26:28
That was lonely too. And then I did van life.
26:33
Yes. And I tried churches that way and I met
26:36
amazing people. And I waited for that confirmation
26:40
from God that this is where I was supposed to
26:42
go, that this is where I could serve. A lot of
26:45
times there were smaller churches. Some of them
26:47
were bigger, but they just didn't have as much
26:49
going on. something was going on so i went down
26:52
to florida well i guess six years ago now maybe
26:57
that's that long ago originally i went down no
27:00
maybe because i've been here for three over three
27:02
years yeah two years before that So yeah, about
27:06
five, six years ago, I came down here. I was
27:09
determined to move here. I just got my job with
27:13
AMN back when, and they had a hub here in Boca.
27:17
So I was able to go in, but I was also going
27:19
to be able to do remote. Turns out it only ended
27:21
up being remote, so I could leave technically.
27:23
I felt so unsettled. I was like, this is not
27:27
the time. Maybe two years from now. So I leave.
27:29
I'm doing van life. I'm in Ohio. I know you're
27:33
not a big fan of Ohio, but... Love Ohio. I'm
27:37
wearing an Ohio sweatshirt right now. He is,
27:38
yeah. And then two years go by. I find amazing
27:41
community in my gym, and they reminded me why
27:44
community matters. And I was trying this church.
27:48
It was so far. It was like an hour and a half
27:49
away every Sunday. And I did like them too, but
27:52
I was not getting the confirmation. I knew that
27:54
that was where I was going to stay. Yeah. I go
27:56
down. I was like, you know what? I feel like
27:59
I'm going to go down to Florida. I'm just going
28:01
to go visit, blah, blah, blah. I'm on my way
28:03
down. I'm like, what if I never leave? What if
28:05
that happens? I get there. Here we are. Everything
28:09
that I'd been waiting to be confirmed about happened
28:11
in the same week. I found a gym community, which
28:15
mattered to me, especially at that time, because
28:17
fitness was a big thing in my life. Volleyball.
28:21
Found volleyball again. That was amazing. Not
28:23
that I was great at it, but it was so fun on
28:26
the beach. Made me love nature in a different
28:29
way again. And then my church. I looked for...
28:34
a reformed Presbyterian church, actually, because
28:36
that's what I grew up in. I was like, maybe I
28:38
have to go back to my roots. They always say,
28:40
go back to your roots when you're unsure. And
28:42
I looked up, I knew there wasn't the CREC there.
28:47
But I was like, let's just look. First thing
28:50
that kept coming up, Oceanside. Every time I
28:53
saw the pictures, I was like, this reminds me
28:55
of the places Hannah goes. No lie. This is the
28:57
places that Hannah goes. And you're always involved
29:00
at the churches that you're at. I always loved
29:02
that and always wanted to be. I was like, she
29:04
always knows everybody. I know everybody, but
29:06
she's very involved in the church, know everybody.
29:09
And so I was like, you know what? We'll try it.
29:11
Maybe they have something. Maybe this is it.
29:14
I thought it was a lot bigger church than it
29:15
was at the time. Yeah, I was surprised. When
29:18
you had talked about it, I thought it was going
29:20
to be bigger. And when I went, I was like, oh,
29:22
this is cute. And not cute in like a... But literally,
29:26
I think your church is the perfect size. I love
29:29
my church, yeah. So we've grown so much since
29:33
the beginning, since I first started going there.
29:36
And so I got there that first day, and one of
29:38
the main things that I needed to happen was that
29:41
someone had to reach out. I needed some introductions,
29:45
like how many times I would sit there in the
29:47
pew and wait for someone. I would slowly walk
29:50
to the exit because I don't know who to talk
29:52
to. I don't know what to do. I know I'm extroverted.
29:55
I know I can. But to me, it was, I need to find
29:58
a place that is extending their arm and trying
30:02
to be welcoming to people. So you can reach back.
30:05
So that it wasn't just me. It wasn't that I could
30:08
just reach back. I can do it all I want, but
30:10
I need to know. One of the things I loved about
30:12
Christchurch is that they were great at welcoming.
30:14
They were great at getting you in and starting
30:17
that relationship there. And there's a... a prayer
30:21
warrior there named bernadine and she was at
30:24
the front doors and she goes uh she just started
30:27
talking to me i was like slowly walking out and
30:29
she started talking to me a little bit i told
30:31
her that i'd been wanting to find a place and
30:34
everything and she introduced me to the pastor's
30:36
wife uh she's also pastor diana and then um who
30:40
introduced me to the worship team and then like
30:43
um i was like you know what i'll go back again
30:46
if if um It's just not a passing thing. And this
30:51
might be the place. I felt it then to Bennett's
30:54
passage. He was very knowledgeable. He's very
30:56
good at communicating the word, not only communicating
31:00
it, but there's so much that he does. I don't
31:03
know how to explain it. The spirit is very, very
31:05
clearly to me at Oceanside. It's without doubt.
31:09
I always know it's there, even if I am absent
31:12
minded or anything like that. Yeah. So I came
31:15
back the next week and. Diana, she's like, hey,
31:19
how's it going? And it was very much, and she
31:21
introduced me to more people. And I knew, I was
31:23
like, this is everything that I've been asking
31:26
for there to be. This has been it. Like, this
31:28
is where I'm going to stay. Even those times
31:30
where a year down the road where I was unsure
31:33
about certain things, I was like, Lord, I don't
31:35
want to leave. I don't feel called to leave,
31:37
but I'm not sure because I want to make sure
31:39
I align right here where Bennett is or the pastors
31:41
and the churches. And immediately. he would always
31:45
respond, like Bennett would always respond in
31:47
those sermons there. I wanted to get involved
31:51
and serve there and immediately, not immediately,
31:53
because obviously it was immediate, but not immediate.
31:56
Like it's not like you can be on the intimate
31:57
things, be on stage and stuff without them getting
32:00
to know you. But I got to serve the church and
32:02
I got to be poured into, I got to meet a lot
32:05
of people. I got to get to know the church. And
32:07
then as the years went on, it was very difficult,
32:10
actually. I remember calling you a couple of
32:12
times because the people my age were very hard
32:15
to get to know. And I was very frustrated by
32:18
it because I wanted to be, I wanted my closest
32:21
people to be from the church. I wanted them to
32:23
be Christians, but I felt like I was forced to
32:25
find my companionship elsewhere, which made it
32:29
harder in so many ways. Not that I can't minister
32:33
to those people, but when you're surrounding
32:35
yourself with other people, you tend to take
32:37
in those things. You do. It was very difficult
32:39
to get involved at first. It took a while. I
32:42
started getting some, I would say, prophetic
32:47
words that I'm not super quick to put out there
32:52
or anything like that. And I was like, you know,
32:53
we're going to be patient and see what God has
32:58
in store here. And when I was least expecting
33:01
it. I would say that's when the companionship
33:03
came. But also right before that, sorry, side
33:06
note, my loneliness ended around that time too.
33:09
Loneliness that I, I'm one of five siblings and
33:12
it's something I've like since a kid, loneliness,
33:15
like, and sometimes incredibly deep loneliness.
33:18
I just want a companionship. And people will
33:21
tell you that getting married isn't going to
33:22
be what's going to give you the companionship
33:24
you need are going to heal that loneliness. I
33:27
know that more now than ever, and I've never
33:28
been married, but. As my relationship with God
33:32
got better and I was able to be more okay with
33:35
doing things with just him and reading my Bible
33:37
and being excited about the time that I was going
33:39
to spend with him like I would a significant
33:41
other. You know what I'm saying? Like someone
33:43
that loves you and you want to spend time with
33:45
them because they love you. And I realized as
33:47
that relationship continued to grow, my loneliness
33:49
actually went away. Yeah. And then the companionship
33:54
at church started to grow. And I was less relying
33:59
on people to fill that gap and relying on God
34:01
to fill the gap. And it made a big difference.
34:04
Yeah. I think that answered your question plus
34:06
more, I think. Yeah. So going off of that, because
34:10
you're just talking about loneliness, what would
34:12
be your suggestion to someone who is lonely or
34:16
is looking for a church? Like, what is your opinion
34:19
on the subject of what you should look for in
34:23
a church? but you had to give like your top three
34:26
like what are your top threes when you were searching
34:28
for a church i'm searching for a church being
34:31
in the word it's not when they're preaching are
34:35
they preaching i think this i think that or the
34:38
word says this yeah the word says it's being
34:41
in the word being knowledgeable about the word
34:44
and for you to be able to judge if someone's
34:46
knowledgeable in the word you also have to be
34:48
in the word Yeah. That is important. There are
34:52
stepping stones, of course. And then another
34:53
thing is the community. How not just welcoming
34:59
there. Welcoming is a big thing. You also have
35:01
to realize that there's only so much that they
35:04
can do there. Sometimes you have to step step
35:05
forward, too. But initially they should be the
35:07
ones welcoming you. And after that, you may have
35:09
to do a bit more work than you're expecting.
35:11
Yeah. And then with a third one. They have to
35:15
be not just. uh lip service tithe and serving
35:20
but providing service locally i would say locally
35:24
before globally yeah if they're serving their
35:30
community and their local community i think that's
35:34
important too because that's something god calls
35:36
us to do yes i really agree this uh how can you
35:39
take care of your own if you're taking care You
35:42
have to find a balance. And if you can't balance
35:45
something as simple as that, there's no way you're
35:48
going to be able to balance the more detailed
35:50
things. I agree. That's one thing I will say
35:53
I love about Wilmington churches is that a lot
35:55
of them do global mission work. But the ones
36:01
that do that also do a lot of local mission work,
36:04
like a lot. And I love that. I'm all about serving
36:08
your community, like serving your backyard. before
36:11
you take on the world these um god will of course
36:17
everyone needs to hear the word but if there
36:20
are people that aren't hearing the actual gospel
36:23
god is still providing his creation as witness
36:26
and for them to believe in god he has a different
36:29
standard for them than they would us when we
36:31
have the word here and we're not even preaching
36:34
to our neighbor but you want to go like do you
36:37
not love your neighbor yeah that's what i'm saying
36:40
do you not love your neighbor are you obviously
36:42
you can do both you can do all but are you doing
36:45
the first what you need to do first before you're
36:47
doing what god asks you to do last yeah yeah
36:50
um skipping points parts uh one other thing i
36:54
wanted to add because you had made a comment
36:56
about this is loneliness and how i would recommend
37:01
people go about that a lot of people say Once
37:07
you turn to God, you'll lose anxiety, you'll
37:10
lose depression, you'll lose loneliness. But
37:13
sometimes it's just not always that simple. Sometimes
37:15
it is that simple. Sometimes it's not that simple.
37:18
And you feel like something's wrong with you
37:20
or you're crazy because maybe your relationship
37:21
just isn't the same as theirs. Your relationship
37:26
is not the same as theirs. That's number one.
37:28
It's never going to be the same as everyone else's.
37:34
I stopped looking at my time with God as a chore
37:37
and as something, and everyone says it's something
37:39
you get to do, but I didn't even see it as something
37:41
I get to do. I was looking for a companion to
37:44
spend my life with, to be excited about. I remembered
37:46
what it was like to go on a date or hang out
37:48
with a guy that I really cared about deeply.
37:51
God cared about me deeply. I was saying I cared
37:53
about him deeply. Why wasn't I feeling this?
37:56
towards him and so finding that realization I
37:58
was like okay well I need to start spending my
38:01
time with him like that he's waiting at this
38:02
table for me all this time and I'm showing up
38:05
for a minute out of the day and then he's going
38:08
oh oh hey it's so good to see you I'm like okay
38:11
bye yeah I'm back but I'm saying I love this
38:14
person I care about them yeah and I can't wait
38:16
to spend time with them but I'm not acting like
38:18
that so I changed my behavior to, um, and I was
38:21
getting excited about spending that time with
38:23
him, getting my alone time there, uh, getting
38:27
to know him more, him getting to know me more,
38:29
even though he knows everything about me more
38:31
than I know about me, you know? And that really
38:34
changed my perspective there. My loneliness just
38:36
like, it's been two years and I have not felt
38:40
loneliness. Not like that ever since. Yeah. um
38:44
lack of like friendship hurt sure but not yeah
38:48
not loneliness not that deep hole of loneliness
38:50
that you just like it when you know what i'm
38:53
talking about you know what i'm talking yes some
38:55
people won't know what you're talking about just
38:57
like some people have never experienced anxiety
38:58
or depression and they some people will not understand
39:01
that some people have so those who have felt
39:06
that loneliness know exactly what i'm talking
39:08
about and those who have not Fantastic. I am
39:11
so happy for you, but I'm sure you have your
39:13
own trials and tribulations. Yeah, for sure.
39:16
I think too, like what you just said, you were
39:19
kind of like, I got this vision of like walking
39:21
into your grandparents' house and your grandpa's
39:23
sitting there. And he's like, hey, like, how's
39:26
it going? You're like, it's good. I got to go.
39:27
Bye. And you walk out and you run and you go
39:30
around Aaron's and you come back. He's like,
39:31
oh, I just made dinner. And you're like, yes,
39:33
but I have dinner with friends. Got to go. Yeah.
39:34
Like that was the vision I got. And I will say
39:37
for me, I've always really enjoyed my time in
39:41
the Word because it's just always fascinating
39:45
to me because I read it for a million different
39:46
reasons. But my favorite part of the day is when
39:50
I wake up, I go to the gym out of necessity to
39:54
get like my brain. focused but my favorite part
39:57
is when I come home it's this space between when
39:59
I come home and I go to work where I spend like
40:01
an hour solid in the word and it's just quiet
40:04
like no one else is in the house it's just me
40:06
and I actually get so bummed I'm like should
40:09
I quit my job I think that every every birthday
40:12
I'm like should I quit my job and just sit here
40:15
and read the bible for a couple more hours can
40:17
I get away with that um because I really do think
40:20
like just that you said this once when you're
40:22
headed to Puerto Rico, you're like, you can't
40:24
know God. You truly cannot know God, God himself,
40:28
like his personality, who he is without reading
40:30
the word. You can't, sorry. I don't care who
40:33
you are. Like you can have an idea of him. You
40:35
can have, yeah, but it doesn't mean you know
40:38
him, know him and knowing his character and who
40:40
he is is so important. So you have to read the
40:42
word. Um, and doing like that has such a big
40:46
impact on my life. So I love that you, and it
40:49
does help with loneliness. Cause I, I mean, I
40:52
was just talking with, I think you a few months
40:54
ago, I was telling you like everyone I know in
40:55
Wilmington has moved. I'm down to like two friends.
40:58
Yeah. That's it. You're moving soon too. It's
41:01
lonely in Wilmington. It is lonely. But that
41:05
just, I kind of like saw that when it was happening.
41:07
I was like, this is an opportunity for me to
41:09
spend an even more time with Jesus and for him
41:12
to provide new friends. Yeah. You know, but speaking
41:17
on like, you know, you're saying getting to know
41:19
God better. changed your relationship with him
41:22
is there anyone that has like impact or encouraged
41:25
your walk or your relationship with him in your
41:28
life and if so like who and how yeah um there
41:32
are a few people that i would say have impacted
41:34
my walk uh different times my family will always
41:37
be a great i don't know just people foundational
41:42
people to talk to even when there's disagreement
41:45
it's always uh encouraged to do your research
41:48
and i mean of course there are heated arguments
41:51
but in your family no yeah heated arguments of
41:56
course but i think as we've gotten older discussion
41:59
is become a little bit more apparent like you
42:01
can say you're not arguing but you realize like
42:03
i all of us want the best for each other yeah
42:06
i think that annoyance comes from oh are you
42:08
serious like we they want you to believe the
42:11
right thing so i think it technically comes from
42:14
the right area but we don't I've got sidetracked.
42:17
We don't really do that as much anymore. It's
42:19
more discussion than anything. And so when I
42:21
have something, it's more, if it's a question,
42:23
I'll go to them and they tell me where from the
42:27
Bible they're seeing that or where I can look
42:29
or maybe where to start. There are so many subjects
42:31
that you're not really sure where to start. There
42:33
are great people to talk to about that. We also
42:36
disagree on several things. So those are also
42:39
good to talk about because they can raise questions
42:42
that you have not raised yourself. I would say
42:46
one of the big ones would be you, for sure. There
42:50
are plenty of times we've both called each other
42:51
where it's like, or we texted each other and
42:55
we're like, do you have a minute? Usually we
42:56
schedule out our calls. We do. We schedule our
42:58
calls out like weeks in advance. Make sure we
42:59
have enough time. Make sure we have enough time.
43:02
And then we'll do, but when that person texts
43:06
you and you're like, do you have a minute? Yes,
43:08
I have a minute. I have a, I have. Whatever amount
43:11
of minutes you need because this is important.
43:13
Yeah. Usually it's something like, is this biblically
43:17
sound? Or is this what I'm feeling right now?
43:20
Is this me in the flesh? Yeah. Or is this something
43:22
– or am I right in my beliefs here? Am I – doing
43:27
it God's way or am I doing it my way? Yeah. For
43:30
me, it's always like, is my pride taking over?
43:32
And like, I need you to clock me. And for me,
43:34
it's my emotions taking over. Am I making this
43:37
more personal than it needs to be? Or am I right
43:40
in my logic that this does not align with God's
43:44
word? And so I would say you're great because
43:47
we have very similar ways of thinking, but also
43:49
we disagree on plenty of things. Yeah. Not typically
43:53
in the word. Yeah. The word is not one thing
43:55
that we disagree. It's hard to disagree when
43:57
it comes to the word. The word is the word. The
43:59
word is the word. Yeah. And then people are harder.
44:02
You can never decide which side they're on. But
44:06
and then lastly, especially more recently since
44:11
our friendship and then dating has been only
44:17
going on since I was. I guess mid last year,
44:22
right? But there's always been an encouragement
44:25
to make sure that maintaining those, a relationship
44:28
with God and God's people. And when there's a
44:30
lacking, we always, oh, I should probably say
44:36
who I'm talking about. Hugo. Yeah. My boy's talking
44:38
about her boyfriend, everyone. He is also great
44:41
in it because if I feel like I'm coming short
44:45
or I'm not doing something as they should be,
44:47
he's like, he's like, yeah, if, if this is, If
44:50
you don't think that you're doing this right,
44:52
then yes, take those steps. Do not be ignoring
44:55
them to spend time with me. Like you need to
44:57
be spending time at church. You need to be spending
44:59
time with God's people. You need to be spending
45:01
time in word. And so he's always an encouragement
45:03
in those things. And he's a great sounding board.
45:05
He loves to listen because I talk a lot. Are
45:08
you going to tell? So when I have a rant or I
45:11
learn something new in the Bible, I'm like, oh
45:13
my gosh. And he'll just listen to me. He enjoys
45:16
listening to me, which is great. But he also
45:20
has some really good points, too. There have
45:21
been a couple of times I'm like, that's, I've
45:24
not thought about that. I don't remember reading
45:26
that. He's also corrected me, actually, believe
45:29
it or not, once or twice. We were at a trivia
45:33
thing. I don't even remember what it was exactly.
45:35
But one of the questions was about one of the
45:38
kings. And I was like, oh, it's this person.
45:41
And he goes. No, no. I think it was, like, corrects
45:44
me. Or I was asking the questions, the trivia
45:47
questions, and I had the wrong answer. And he
45:50
goes, I don't think so. And I was like, oh, my
45:52
gosh. Thank you so much for knowing. That was
45:54
so attractive. I loved it. I know your words.
45:57
I loved it. How – sorry. I was going to say,
46:05
so – Am I being detailed enough? Yeah. Because
46:07
I feel like I can't tell. No, you are. You are.
46:10
You're being perfect. As close to perfect outside
46:13
of Jesus Christ as you can be. Shut up. Shut
46:14
up. So what does your current relationship and
46:19
life look like with God? I won't lie. Recently,
46:24
I would say that I, a couple weeks ago, I felt
46:29
guilt in not putting as much time to God as I
46:33
should. There's been a lot of change in the last
46:39
half a year. And that's no excuse not to have
46:42
a good relationship with him. It's more I think
46:45
I've been adjusting and trying to find where
46:47
and when. When I should have been. I always remind
46:51
myself he's the first. The first time for everything.
46:55
Yeah. And when you're putting your priorities
46:58
out there, he always should be the first. But
47:00
sometimes when you're doing life, you do forget.
47:02
And then you feel the effect of it later. And
47:04
then you have to readjust. Yeah, so true. You
47:07
don't feel it right away. You do not feel it
47:08
right away. And so when your life gets crazy
47:12
and things start taking priority, most people
47:15
know this, they just start feeling that distance.
47:18
And they're like, oh, dang, I am not prioritizing.
47:21
I'm not putting this first. So I'd say as of
47:26
recently, not recently, a couple of weeks ago,
47:28
I was like, this is not coming as first as it
47:31
needs to go. Let's go a little bit more ahead.
47:34
so that I do not feel so distant from all those
47:39
things. And I know it's not all about feelings.
47:41
Yeah. But it does help. But relationship is feeling,
47:44
though. Like, you have to have feelings of something.
47:46
You can't just, like, be, well, you can. You
47:49
can't just be married to somebody and not like
47:51
them. I can't fight my own mind. A lot of people
47:52
do, but. Mind? without his word. His word is
47:56
the most secure thing to me. So if I'm in his
47:59
word, it's so much easier to fight the demons
48:01
or the words or negativity, whatever you want
48:04
to call it, whatever's going on there that's
48:06
not of God. Take captive your thoughts. It's
48:09
so much harder to take captive or organize as
48:13
needed when I don't have his constant reminder.
48:16
Like his word, I pray that it's always written
48:18
on my heart and behind my eyes and written on
48:20
my soul so that it's the first thing I think
48:23
of. That's the first thing I want to think of
48:25
his praise. I want to think of his words because,
48:27
I mean, it's the best weapon in any circumstance.
48:32
In your own mind, talking to other people and
48:34
how you live your life. No, I'm with you. It
48:38
really is. It's how people say all the time to
48:40
me back home, like, oh, you're so grounded or
48:43
you're so relaxed or you're always so happy or
48:46
all this stuff. And I'm like, if you knew the
48:47
battles I'm fighting on the inside. But the truth
48:50
is, is I stay that steady as an individual, like
48:53
emotionally and mentally because I'm in his work.
48:55
Like I have his, like anytime I have to take
48:57
captive a thought, I'm taking it captive and
49:00
I'm combating it with a Bible verse, you know,
49:03
or a truth of God that he has said about me through
49:08
a Bible verse or about himself. And if you're
49:11
not in this word. It's a sword. They literally
49:14
call it the sword, right? Like in the armor of
49:17
God, it's the sword. Yeah. So if you're not carrying,
49:19
and Jesus even says get strapped. I'm just kidding.
49:22
He did not literally, but he does in Luke. He's
49:24
like, if you don't have a sword, sell your garment
49:26
and have it. Now he didn't mean an actual sword.
49:29
Like clearly the sword is referenced all the
49:32
time through the word in the New Testament. He
49:33
meant the spiritual sword, but it's true. Like
49:36
if you don't have it, how are you going to defend
49:38
yourself? I'd say. Because of how far my relationship
49:42
has gone with him, though, and how steadfast
49:45
he is. My relationship with him, I think, is
49:49
solid and steadfast in those ways. I just realized
49:52
it could be better. And I'm the one slacking
49:55
there. It can always be better. It can always
49:57
be better. But sometimes you're just like, this
49:58
is, your relationship is great. And it can always
50:00
be better, often, as we're saying. But it's great.
50:04
Right now, it's, I'm slack. I have felt the slack.
50:08
So I'm going to. reminisce that and it takes
50:11
time to do that it does it is not instantaneously
50:14
back just like it's not instantaneously gone
50:16
wish it was that'd be so nice if you're just
50:20
like well i'm back on track and god's like oh
50:22
here we are just back to normal um okay any final
50:27
thoughts that you want to share or words of encouragement
50:32
to people who i don't know are new christians
50:35
or refinding their faith or looking for a church
50:38
anything that comes to mind or is lonely i'd
50:42
say my my thing is always keep trying people
50:46
will always fail no matter what you do you can
50:49
be in the church for the longest time and they
50:50
will hurt you over and over and over yeah those
50:53
are people and you're going to hurt them too
50:55
it it is back and forth whether you know you've
50:57
hurt somebody I guarantee you've hurt plenty
51:00
of people and you don't even know about it. Always
51:02
keep trying, even when you feel deflated, because
51:05
just remember that Jesus never stopped trying
51:09
for us ever. And how many times we have failed
51:12
him, how many times we have walked away from
51:14
him, he just continues to try and always shows
51:17
up. So if you are debating staying home from
51:21
church and not trying another church, if you're
51:24
debating putting your relationship with Jesus
51:27
on hold because you do not feel at that moment.
51:29
I encourage you to not, to not stop, to not give
51:33
in to that because it's just a longer hole of
51:37
disappointment and hurt than it is if you were
51:40
to continue trying and realize that all that
51:42
work got, you know, ended up becoming so fulfilling
51:46
and it was a great experience and now you can
51:48
help other people that are in your same circumstance.
51:50
Now you can help other people because you can
51:52
see it on their face. You can see it on their
51:55
face. It could be the deepest thing that they've
51:57
ever dealt with because you've dealt with it.
51:59
You can see it on their face and no one else
52:00
could see it. And now, now you've changed one
52:04
person's life. If you can change one person's
52:06
life or have, sorry, I guess Jesus always changes
52:09
is the reason. But if you're the one that gets
52:13
to put out that hand and God is with you in that
52:15
and you get to impact that. What a freaking amazing
52:19
thing. What are the best accomplishment you can
52:21
make in your entire life is impacting someone
52:23
in such a positive way. You can't impact them
52:25
any more positively. So yeah, my encouragement
52:29
is to never stop trying. Even when you feel discouraged,
52:37
remember the one person that went through it
52:39
all worse than anything that you could ever go
52:41
through. Went through and still came back for
52:44
you. He came back for you. And I just want to
52:48
point out like an extrovert herself who could
52:50
talk to a brick wall, just like me. I always
52:53
say how I do talk to a brick wall. When I'm doing
52:55
this podcast by myself, I'm talking to the wall.
52:57
Best belief. Someone was like, you should put
53:00
a mirror up and see your own facial reactions
53:02
when you're talking to the wall. But anyways,
53:04
like between us and we've had moments of loneliness
53:07
in church. And like you said, I've always been
53:09
serving in church and I seem to know everybody
53:11
and introduce each other to everybody else. We
53:14
all experience the loneliness. I feel like that's
53:16
a really common thing that people go through.
53:18
So if extroverts experience that, just know as
53:23
an introvert, if you are one or not, you're not
53:25
doing anything wrong. It's just how we're human.
53:27
It's how it goes. You know, it's funny because
53:29
I recently ran across people that I don't think
53:31
they'll ever experience that to the same. And
53:34
I didn't realize that wasn't a thing that other
53:35
people, they feel loneliness. Yeah. But not always
53:39
to that level. Yeah. And you're like, oh, you've
53:42
never. You've not ever had that denial push off
53:46
in the same way, I guess. A denial that Jesus
53:50
had, by the way, on a regular basis. Say that
53:53
all the time. So you're not the only one. And
53:56
he still moved forward. I bawled. There are times
54:02
where I just felt so defeated, so incredibly
54:06
done to very, very drastic measures. But what
54:11
was I saying? Oh, yeah. But, you know, with with
54:14
a good relationship with God, it is so much easier
54:17
to fight that off. There are so many things,
54:20
including that are hard like that. I don't know
54:23
how people get through life without it, without
54:25
him supporting them in those. I always say to
54:28
like and we have this conversation. When was
54:30
the worship night? Friday night. I always say
54:32
like and I said this to you, like if you're experiencing
54:35
it, be the change of it. You know, like if you
54:37
felt left out, make sure somebody else doesn't
54:39
feel left out in the future. If you see a hole,
54:41
fill the hole. Like be the one who shows up in
54:45
that way for others. Another note, one other
54:47
note for people that feel left out or excluded
54:50
or lonely, especially when you're trying to get
54:53
involved, realize that those people that you
54:55
want to be involved with that you're not having
54:57
the chance to, maybe those aren't the ones you're
54:59
being called to be around. There are other people
55:01
around you. people that are your friends, that
55:03
want to be your friends, that want to spend time
55:05
with you, that maybe those are the ones God is
55:07
calling you to be around, to minister to, to
55:09
hang out with, to get to know, to also introduce
55:12
them to other people. But your sole focus, and
55:17
I am guilty of this, is on the people you want
55:19
to be friends with that aren't wanting to be
55:21
friends with you. Yes. It's so easy to see those
55:24
and ignore those around you that you already
55:25
have. But God put those around you that you have
55:28
for a reason. Do not take them for granted. dive
55:32
into those relationships well I hope you're satisfied
55:46
with that ending we are going to split this into
55:49
a part two we recorded over two hours of um I
55:57
want to call it video. It's not video. You know
55:59
what I'm saying, though, of our conversation.
56:01
So if you want to hear some passionate conversations
56:05
about really random subjects and the end of this
56:10
conversation, come back for part two. Well, that's
56:14
all I have for y 'all today. Thank you so much
56:16
for listening to the Living Free podcast. Plus
56:19
special guest Serena, my bestie. If you're loving
56:23
the podcast, I'd be so honored if you'd hit that
56:26
subscribe button and give me a review. If you
56:30
have questions, a subject, or any feedback, I
56:33
would love an email at livingfreepod at gmail
56:36
.com or DM me on Instagram at HannahLizD. Again,
56:42
y 'all, thank you so much for listening. I hope
56:44
you feel encouraged, lighter, maybe even enlightened
56:47
today. Bye, y 'all. Thank you.