Latest / The Woody Show / HIGHLIGHT POD 30 MINS: The Woody Show September 28th 2026 Podcast

Transcript

HIGHLIGHT POD 30 MINS: The Woody Show September 28th 2026 Podcast · The Woody Show

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: What is, quote, popular and huge? The Woody Show. Menace,
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: look who's here.
• 0:07
  Speaker 2: I know.
• 0:08
  Speaker 3: I'm so excited.
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: Finally.
• 0:11
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: It's your boy, Seabass. Hey, Seabass. Now, why has Menace
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: been so excited for you to arrive and walk in
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: the studio today, Seabass? Because we didn't FaceTime yesterday like
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: we always do?
• 0:24
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: No, it's because it was just Seabass' birthday. Yeah. Oh,
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: so that's over then. A little birdie told me, Sammy.
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: She said, it's Seabass's birthday.
• 0:34
  Speaker 3: I go, what?
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: Because Sammy remembers all birthdays.
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: He's the keeper of birthdays.
• 0:39
  Speaker 5: Yeah, his birthday was mysteriously taken off of the calendar
• 0:41
  Speaker 5: that we keep here at work with everybody's birthdays on it.
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: Well, you can't mind erase Sammy.
• 0:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: First off, obviously I did that. Number one. Yes, I know.
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: Number two, why do we need to put people's birthdays
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: on the calendar?
• 0:51
  Speaker 3: Because.
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: So Menace knows to go to the grocery store and
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: get the birthday cakes. And the cakes, and you said...
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: You hate the cake. You don't like the cakes. Well,
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: the grocery store cakes are garbage. They're dry and the
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: frosting sucks. You still eat them, but yes. You know what?
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: I don't want to make you feel bad. You use
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: a cookie to scoop the spoon. And then so I go, okay, well,
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: I'm going to go donuts then. And then you say
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: you don't like them from certain places, so I make
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: sure not to get them from that place. And then
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: you said that you don't like cake donuts.
• 1:20
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: So I did. get two dozen donuts, some cake donuts
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: for everybody else, and some non-cake donuts. Well, they're over
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: there on the table. I'll seal that mess. So they've
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: been sitting there, and he hasn't dipped into them, Seabass,
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: because he's been waiting for you to arrive. Yeah, and
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: everybody else wanted to, and I said, nope, gotta wait.
• 1:37
  Speaker 3: You must wait.
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: The only person who cries about people eating their donuts
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: is Woody, because when people take his maple bar, it's
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: all pissy.
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: When there's one maple bar. Oh, I make sure to
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: get two. Well, go ahead and see, because I listen
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: and I pay attention. But on your birthday, you can
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: have first dibs on the maple bar.
• 1:50
  Speaker 5: Yeah, and in honor of CBass's birthday, let's make sure
• 1:52
  Speaker 5: to keep all the boxes wide open.
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: Let me address this issue.
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: People, like if we bring in, let's say, donuts or whatever,
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: and there's a box or something, people will keep it closed. Well,
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: it's not like they're sealed airtight for freshness. It should
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: be open so that people can access what's inside.
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: Here's the reason. God knows what's floating around in this studio.
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: Do you see the stuff that, no, seriously, do you
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: see the stuff that collects on all surfaces in here?
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: Not for the course of a morning.
• 2:15
  Speaker 5: But none of us are getting up to get donuts
• 2:17
  Speaker 5: often enough to keep the box open.
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: Well, but then someone, Jeff G. walks in, you know,
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: he wants to, like, we had a.
• 2:22
  Speaker 3: Bag of chips in here. You could have a lifting
• 2:23
  Speaker 3: a box lid.
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: They should be open and presented for consumption. They are
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: your birthday donuts. You can do with them whatever you'd like.
• 2:32
  Speaker 3: Menace, I would prefer.
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: Happy birthday, Seabass. Menace, I will allow you to open
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: them and distribute however you choose.
• 2:40
  Speaker 3: He really wanted you to read the note.
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: You can hand me the note while you're at it.
• 2:44
  Speaker 3: Oh, there's a note?
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: I didn't realize there was a note.
• 2:47
  Speaker 3: Really sweet note on there. Are you, what, 45?
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: That's right. 45. All right, there's your note.
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: That's Seabass's birthday donuts. Sammy, remember, parentheses, parentheses, Menace got them,
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: and hopefully to his standards.
• 3:01
  Speaker 3: All right.
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: So everything we already covered. Okay. All right.
• 3:07
  Speaker 3: But in case. But he took the effort to read it.
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: In case he forgot. Nice font. And these are the
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: good ones, right, Menace? The good joints. Oh, okay. I
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: should have known. Kind of sprinkly. I couldn't beat Sammy's
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: brain with this.
• 3:20
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: Nice try.
• 3:21
  Speaker 5: A bunch of maple bars.
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: I've noticed it's like, okay, see, this looks like a good, like, neighborhood...
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: That's a solid selection. Good neighborhood donut store. There are
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: those places that are like the quote gourmet donuts. Why
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: are those always disappointing?
• 3:35
  Speaker 5: Because they always have too much crap on them.
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: They don't taste all that great. You're talking about the
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: voodoo donut types. I don't know about them specifically. There's
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: cereal on top and other stuff.
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: They're the ones who break down a Nutter Butter bar
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: and throw it on there.
• 3:49
  Speaker 5: Yielding the lily.
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: Which could be fine, but those places, man, you're paying
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: like 15 bucks it feels for three donuts.
• 3:56
  Speaker 3: Yes, you are.
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: And it is a dessert.
• 3:58
  Speaker 6: Having that for breakfast is a little much.
• 4:00
  Speaker 5: That's insane.
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: I don't need to spend the 15 bucks. Give me
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: the neighborhood, the quote cheap donut place. I'll take the
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: cheap donut every day over the big expensive gourmet.
• 4:12
  Speaker 5: They know what they're doing.
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: It's not just Voodoo Donuts, but they set the bar.
• 4:18
  Speaker 3: Never gone to a quote cheap one and thought it
• 4:20
  Speaker 3: was bad. They're all good.
• 4:22
  Speaker 5: Okay, you guys. Speaking of cheap, Oh, Menace is presenting
• 4:25
  Speaker 5: more donuts.
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: These are all cake donuts.
• 4:26
  Speaker 5: Speaking of cheap, I've been thinking about this for a
• 4:28
  Speaker 5: long time. And I've been traveling a lot more than
• 4:32
  Speaker 5: I had in the past. And I've been trying to
• 4:35
  Speaker 5: find like the perfect travel bag, toiletry bag. And that's
• 4:37
  Speaker 5: something that men use, women use. We all need the
• 4:39
  Speaker 5: right toiletry bag. I've gone through countless from Target, from
• 4:44
  Speaker 5: expensive places, from Amazon. A girlfriend of mine even got
• 4:48
  Speaker 5: me this Sorry, I was caught. Very, very crazy expensive
• 4:52
  Speaker 5: one for my birthday. It has all of these different
• 4:55
  Speaker 5: little nooks and crannies and pockets and zippers.
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: How much crap are you bringing?
• 5:02
  Speaker 5: For makeup and for toiletries. She said, this is what
• 5:05
  Speaker 5: I need. This has got to be it.
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: My wife's got one that kind of folds up to
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: something that size, but when you get to wherever you go,
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: it hangs.
• 5:12
  Speaker 5: Got that right here.
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: It hangs down like a... I.
• 5:16
  Speaker 5: Have the long-fold ones, too.
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: It hangs almost like a garment bag. Yes, I have that, too.
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: I'm looking at this thing and I go, how much
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: crap do you bring? That's so much stuff.
• 5:28
  Speaker 3: Everything you own in the toiletry world.
• 5:30
  Speaker 5: I probably have nine, maybe ten toiletry bags, and they
• 5:34
  Speaker 5: are not They are all expensive. They're a pain in
• 5:38
  Speaker 5: my ass. And you know what? I will not give
• 5:39
  Speaker 5: up why all of these are collecting dust and.
• 5:41
  Speaker 6: Storage because the greatest toiletry bag to ever exist that
• 5:45
  Speaker 6: I have brought on every trip for the last few years.
• 5:49
  Speaker 3: This is it.
• 5:50
  Speaker 5: Large, clear Ziploc bag. It is the best toiletry bag,
• 5:55
  Speaker 5: hands down. And I'm sick of being inundated with all
• 5:58
  Speaker 5: of these other ones that I do not need and
• 6:01
  Speaker 5: am wasting so much money on.
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: So just use the Ziploc bag. I do. But everyone's
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: trying to.
• 6:05
  Speaker 5: I'm getting these for my birthday. Because a girlfriend of
• 6:08
  Speaker 5: mine who I traveled to Iceland with, she's like, I
• 6:10
  Speaker 5: couldn't watch you with a goddamn Ziploc bag. I'm like,
• 6:13
  Speaker 5: but it's the best. You can see everything. If you
• 6:16
  Speaker 5: have to take it out at the airport, it's perfect.
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: It's not broken in any way. I got shamed into
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: a wallet.
• 6:20
  Speaker 3: If anything leaks.
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: I have to carry everything loose in my pocket. Cash,
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: credit cards, my daughter's license. That's crazy.
• 6:27
  Speaker 4: Yeah you got random pills yeah that is talk to
• 6:30
  Speaker 4: me about that that because if it's just loose at
• 6:32
  Speaker 4: least put it in a small ziploc how do you
• 6:34
  Speaker 4: know like how do you know what you're how do
• 6:35
  Speaker 4: you know that you're going to get your driver's license
• 6:37
  Speaker 4: as opposed to your credit card as opposed to.
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: I don't know i just reach in there i just
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: reach in there and i pull out what are the
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: cards i look at and i go here same way
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: you would oh you would take your whole wallet open
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: it up and then find your driver and pull that
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: out not fine it doesn't i'm saying it doesn't take
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: any extra time anything that i do with that i
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: would I would drop.
• 6:52
  Speaker 3: Stuff all the time. That's going to be my fear too.
• 6:54
  Speaker 5: While you're getting like a bill out, mints would fall out.
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: I know you're making an argument for man purses and
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: things like that, Greg.
• 7:00
  Speaker 3: Time to normalize them.
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: I bring all my stuff to and from work. In
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: just a plastic shopping bag.
• 7:06
  Speaker 5: You do every single day.
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: I have. And you know what? It's the best. It's
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: the best. Because when it gets messed up, I throw
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: it away and I grab the next one.
• 7:13
  Speaker 5: Yep. And then you have these like if you're on vacation. Oh,
• 7:16
  Speaker 5: my swimsuit's wet. Like, perfect. The Ziploc bag cures all ailments.
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Plastic waste, Gina. Don't care. Don't care at all.
• 7:25
  Speaker 3: Think about Mother Earth. Yeah.
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: Is there like something like you tried the expensive version
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: of it? And then you ended up preferring just the
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: cheap version of that.
• 7:36
  Speaker 5: What's your Ziploc?
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: Greg, I mean, I know you like fancy things.
• 7:40
  Speaker 3: I do.
• 7:41
  Speaker 7: Well, I prefer Shark Vacuums over Dyson. And Dyson is about,
• 7:45
  Speaker 7: you need a second mortgage to get one. And then
• 7:47
  Speaker 7: you recommended that Cottage Cheese.
• 7:50
  Speaker 3: It was some name brand.
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Good Culture, I think it's called.
• 7:52
  Speaker 3: And I like Store Brand better.
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: Really?
• 7:54
  Speaker 3: And it's half the price.
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: That's true.
• 7:57
  Speaker 2: I mean, I think Woody was on point with that,
• 7:59
  Speaker 2: but I can appreciate that. I'm a store-bought guy myself.
• 8:02
  Speaker 3: Yeah, store-bought is fine. Always have been, always will be. Yeah.
• 8:04
  Speaker 5: Does it taste better, or you just.
• 8:05
  Speaker 3: Don't want to spend the extra money? I like the
• 8:07
  Speaker 3: texture of it better.
• 8:08
  Speaker 2: Oh.
• 8:09
  Speaker 3: Like, the other one had a hint of sourness.
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: Really? Because I thought the Good Culture one, like, tasted creamier.
• 8:15
  Speaker 3: Really? Yeah.
• 8:17
  Speaker 5: Well, and there's a whole... the shift online of D influencers.
• 8:21
  Speaker 5: And this is kind of what they do. Like I'm
• 8:23
  Speaker 5: here to D influence you from buying this expensive product.
• 8:26
  Speaker 5: Like here's all the dupes, you know, cause knockoff is now.
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: A call those hacks, right?
• 8:29
  Speaker 5: Oh yeah.
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: They call them tips and tricks.
• 8:31
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: Well, they call them hacks. I call them what they
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: were always known as advice.
• 8:35
  Speaker 5: And that's what, and you know, nobody ever wanted to
• 8:37
  Speaker 5: buy a knockoff, but we all want dupes.
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: That's true. I mean, that's, that's a, that's a good rebrand.
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: It's great rebrand.
• 8:43
  Speaker 5: And I am here for it.
• 8:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: I used to carry like a little pharmacy in my pocket,
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: but again, all loose.
• 8:49
  Speaker 5: Yeah, you have given me a loose Advil before.
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah, loose Advil, loose Imodium. I always have some Imodium.
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: Every once in a while, I'll keep like a Mucinex
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: D around. Like if I know there's people in the
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: studio that have like, you know, some sinus thing going on.
• 9:01
  Speaker 3: Pocket pills.
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I saw you sneezing. You should get a little
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: pill box. No, I have a pill Ziploc. See?
• 9:09
  Speaker 5: That's what I'm talking about. That's my man right there.
• 9:11
  Speaker 3: Hold on, hold on.
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: A fistful of pills. That pill Ziploc bag, that lives
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: in your pocket?
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 9:17
  Speaker 3: Wow.
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: That's like a court-sized bag.
• 9:19
  Speaker 4: It is.
• 9:19
  Speaker 3: It seems very bunchy.
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: I have it at all times. It's not bunchy.
• 9:23
  Speaker 3: What did it say, then?
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: This is the equivalent.
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: I know you love it when the clip of Tom
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: Cigar and Bert Kreischer when Bert reveals that he drinks
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: two gallons of full sugar.
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: Kool-Aid every day.
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: When he just pulled out, what, Greg, a dozen different
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: pills in a Ziploc bag that he keeps in his pocket.
• 9:39
  Speaker 4: Every day.
• 9:40
  Speaker 8: Just because.
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: And have you ever noticed it?
• 9:42
  Speaker 5: No.
• 9:42
  Speaker 3: Which would look very odd if a cop saw you.
• 9:44
  Speaker 4: Right.
• 9:45
  Speaker 3: That would look very strange.
• 9:46
  Speaker 5: Sir, what's with all those loosies?
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: With Advil and Imodium. What is clearly an aged Ziploc bag.
• 9:51
  Speaker 3: It's sauce.
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: Well, it looks aged. It's not actually. I switch it
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: out like every, like I would say probably once a week.
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: Of course you do. Yeah.
• 9:57
  Speaker 8: It's very old man, dude.
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: Yes. That's for real. Oh yeah, I don't care about that.
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: That's very grandpa. That's drug addict.
• 10:04
  Speaker 5: In his defense, so is a pill bottle or a
• 10:07
  Speaker 5: pill case.
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: Neither should be done. And by the way, I think
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: everybody in this room, maybe with the exception of Seabass,
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: has benefited from my pill bag.
• 10:15
  Speaker 3: I have.
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: At some point. except for sea bass and the day
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: will come that what she just did is insane Is it? Well,
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: they used to just be loose.
• 10:22
  Speaker 3: It's better than loose, though.
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: Hey, they used to just be.
• 10:24
  Speaker 3: Neither is necessary.
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: They used to just be loose in my pocket.
• 10:27
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah. Which is gross.
• 10:28
  Speaker 8: I agree.
• 10:29
  Speaker 3: Why don't you just keep that in your work plastic bag?
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: Right, in your other plastic bag. Oh, yeah.
• 10:34
  Speaker 5: Your attache that you take to.
• 10:35
  Speaker 4: And from work.
• 10:36
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah.
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: It just lives in my pocket.
• 10:38
  Speaker 8: It lives.
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: My wallet lives in my pocket. It just lives in
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: my pocket.
• 10:41
  Speaker 5: At least they'll be body temp when you take it.
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: That is your grandmother with her thing full of sweet
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: and lows and ketchups in her coffee stirrers.
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: What was that era where they didn't have any money?
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: The Depression.
• 10:50
  Speaker 3: The Depression.
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: What was that called? Can you hold that up to
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: the camera?
• 10:54
  Speaker 5: People were really sad about it. What was that called?
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: Can you hold that up to the camera so Vaughn
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: can get a real clear shot of the bag of
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: assorted pills that Woody, 365 days a year, keeps.
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: It's a Ziploc sandwich size, you know, it's their regular
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: sandwich size bag.
• 11:10
  Speaker 8: That should be in a fanny pack.
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: Yes, and a lot of the pills inside are in
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: blister packs, which are separated up. Do you fold it?
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: Or do you just bunch it up and put it...
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: I just go like that. And it goes right in
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: my pocket. It looks like what my parents used to
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: keep loose screws in.
• 11:22
  Speaker 3: Yeah. In a junk drawer. That's just in his pocket
• 11:25
  Speaker 3: all the time.
• 11:27
  Speaker 6: But he could afford a gold-plated case, but this is
• 11:31
  Speaker 6: what he prefers because it's more efficient.
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: So who cares? The same reason I carry the plastic
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: shopping bag.
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: That's right.
• 11:37
  Speaker 5: I have a million toiletry bags.
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: My wife goes, you know, you can buy like a
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: backpack or carry your stuff.
• 11:44
  Speaker 4: I'm like, nah.
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: We're good. It's just easy enough.
• 11:46
  Speaker 7: There's no point in trying to convince you otherwise.
• 11:48
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Like that could live in your fake briefcase. It could.
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: Or it could just live nowhere. It's not necessary.
• 11:54
  Speaker 3: Oh, it is.
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: Because I've been in plenty of situations where like, man,
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: I got a splitting headache. Boy, do I wish I
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: had some Advil. Or even worse.
• 12:01
  Speaker 3: Imodium.
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: The Imodium thing has come in handy a number of times.
• 12:06
  Speaker 5: I don't think I've ever taken Imodium to just stop
• 12:08
  Speaker 5: you up.
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Like if all of a sudden you got bubble
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: guts and you're, you know. You're having some... I've never
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: taken one either. I don't even know what it looks like.
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: I probably should. I mean, they're super tiny. And you
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: just take like two little tiny Imodiums. They look like
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: the size... They're smaller than Tic Tacs. And you just
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: take those and then you're, you know... Bubble guts are gone.
• 12:27
  Speaker 5: Okay, because I'd be afraid I'd still have bubble guts,
• 12:28
  Speaker 5: but now I can't do anything about it.
• 12:30
  Speaker 3: No, no, no.
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: It just stops. It's like, you know, it's the cork
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: in it. I think I've heard of something called Imodium AD.
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: Is that what it is?
• 12:36
  Speaker 3: That's what it is.
• 12:37
  Speaker 5: Anti-diarrheal.
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: That's what it is. Right. But, you know, don't have
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: any because you don't want to look old.
• 12:41
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 12:43
  Speaker 3: You don't get to pretend.
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: I don't want bubble guts and diarrhea when I'm out
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: in public.
• 12:47
  Speaker 5: I don't want to look old when I'm ishing my pants.
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: It's not that you look old. It's just an old
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: man thing. Bring a tig. You look crazy, Handel. Let
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: me give you that. I mean, look at me. Does
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: it look like I concern myself with any kind of, like,
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: you know, image or fashion? You're always going to the
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: image thing. It's not an image thing. It's the old
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: man thing. I know, but an old man. Does it
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: look like I concern myself with that, though? We're not
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: talking about a Versace belt. It's not an image thing
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: at all. It's a weird behavior of an odd person.
• 13:18
  Speaker 8: Yeah.
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: I mean, I take that from you as a compliment,
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: I guess. Yeah.
• 13:22
  Speaker 3: Yeah, right?
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: I mean, yeah. As the king of odd.
• 13:26
  Speaker 3: Exactly.
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: I can't tell if that's a good.
• 13:27
  Speaker 5: It does seem like something Seabass might do.
• 13:29
  Speaker 3: Like when you're sitting around the table reminiscing about childhood. Yes.
• 13:32
  Speaker 7: Remember old man Miller had that bag of pills?
• 13:36
  Speaker 8: Hey, dude.
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: It's true.
• 13:39
  Speaker 3: He'd work on his truck and then the pill bag
• 13:41
  Speaker 3: fell out.
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: I like butterscotch candies. Those are delicious.
• 13:44
  Speaker 3: Circus peanuts.
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: Circus peanuts. Hell yeah, dude. You do the story your
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: grandkids will tell. What a shame. Crazy old... Give me...
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: Saltwater taffy.
• 13:53
  Speaker 4: Oh, yeah!
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: Give it all to me, baby. You guys got diarrhea?
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: Because you know who's ready for that.
• 13:58
  Speaker 3: That's right. I hope you get it.
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's right. The Witty Show. All right, cheers and jeers.
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: Let's go with Jeff G. What you got?
• 14:08
  Speaker 8: I am going to start with my jeers today instead
• 14:10
  Speaker 8: of cheers. Jeers, today after I get off work, I
• 14:14
  Speaker 8: have to unfortunately put down my big dog, Sandra.
• 14:17
  Speaker 2: Oh, no.
• 14:18
  Speaker 8: Yeah, she's got a lot of problems. Too many to
• 14:21
  Speaker 8: name right now, but yeah, unfortunately today.
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: She really did outlive, even healthy, outlived her life expectancy.
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: Jeff was telling me by a lot.
• 14:30
  Speaker 8: Yeah, she's a Bernese Mountain Dog, so she's just big, cuddly, fluffy.
• 14:33
  Speaker 8: They usually do like six to eight years, and she's
• 14:35
  Speaker 8: 10 and a half.
• 14:36
  Speaker 4: Oh, wow.
• 14:36
  Speaker 8: So she did really well, man. You know, we did
• 14:39
  Speaker 8: a lot. I was talking on the phone actually with Menace,
• 14:41
  Speaker 8: or texting back and forth on Friday. We were at
• 14:43
  Speaker 8: the emergency for like 12 hours.
• 14:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 14:46
  Speaker 8: We're just trying to make her comfortable this weekend. And
• 14:48
  Speaker 8: it's a bummer day and it's going to be rough,
• 14:50
  Speaker 8: but we'll get through it.
• 14:52
  Speaker 5: You know, I always say the same thing to anyone
• 14:54
  Speaker 5: who's in this situation.
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: I always say suck it up that. Yeah.
• 15:00
  Speaker 5: I always say thank you for doing for them what
• 15:02
  Speaker 5: they cannot do for themselves.
• 15:03
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 15:03
  Speaker 5: Because it's such a tough thing.
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: There's been so much bad dog news on the Woody
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: show between Morgan's dog. Right.
• 15:10
  Speaker 3: And then, you know, what's up with your dogs?
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: Uh, well, Chiro, my, uh, my oldest Frenchie who's 12. Yeah.
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: We put her on different drugs and she's been very loopy.
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: So it's very hard for her to like walk around.
• 15:23
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: So that's, that's been going on, but like, what's the latest?
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: Cause last we heard it was, you know? Yeah. So we,
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: so she was on, uh, um, drugs for about a
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: year and a half for cancer treatment and she was fine.
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: She switched drugs and she's been super loopy. Again, like
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: really difficult for her to walk around. And then, so
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: we've probably taken her to the doctor probably like five
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: different times to try to get her on the right,
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: on the right mixture. Yeah. So it's still a little
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: bit difficult for her. So. That's pretty much where we're
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: at right now.
• 15:55
  Speaker 8: Okay.
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: But she's hanging in there for now. Yeah. I mean,
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: she's still eating like- What's the prognosis? Do they know?
• 16:01
  Speaker 3: No.
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: No. But she's still eating like crazy, still drinking water
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: like crazy. So that's a good sign. But again, difficulty walking.
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: So is it one like what Morgan did where they
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: come to the house?
• 16:12
  Speaker 8: Yeah. Yeah. I'll shout them out. Lap of Love. I
• 16:15
  Speaker 8: don't know if they have them across country, but they're amazing.
• 16:16
  Speaker 4: They're amazing.
• 16:17
  Speaker 8: They've done that with my previous dog.
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah.
• 16:19
  Speaker 8: But my cheers is actually to all the family and
• 16:22
  Speaker 8: friends that have come out and like kind of showed
• 16:24
  Speaker 8: her love over the weekend because she's kind of like
• 16:26
  Speaker 8: a rock star. Whenever someone comes over to the house,
• 16:29
  Speaker 8: like whether it be my kids' friends or our family
• 16:31
  Speaker 8: friends or just visitors in general, she's the first one.
• 16:34
  Speaker 3: Give me pets.
• 16:34
  Speaker 8: Give me pets.
• 16:35
  Speaker 4: Love, love, love.
• 16:35
  Speaker 8: So she kind of became everybody's favorite. The mascot.
• 16:39
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 16:40
  Speaker 8: So over the weekend, last couple of days, they've come
• 16:43
  Speaker 8: over and kind of showed her love, which was cool.
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 16:45
  Speaker 8: I think that's the way she deserves to go out.
• 16:47
  Speaker 8: She showed so much love. So it's nice to see
• 16:49
  Speaker 8: everybody give her love back. So my house over the
• 16:52
  Speaker 8: last couple of days has been just nonstop, you know,
• 16:54
  Speaker 8: but it's been so fun and she deserves that. And
• 16:57
  Speaker 8: you're going to give her chocolate. I, yes, I'm going
• 16:59
  Speaker 8: to give her, I got her a Reese's peanut butter cup.
• 17:01
  Speaker 3: Oh, nice.
• 17:02
  Speaker 8: And I'm going to buy her a burger and fries.
• 17:04
  Speaker 5: Hell yeah, you are.
• 17:05
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah.
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: And you're taking her to the drive-thru. You did tell
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: me that. Yeah.
• 17:07
  Speaker 8: I'm going to take her to the drive-thru.
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: She loves rides.
• 17:10
  Speaker 8: I say the word ride and she goes nuts. So
• 17:12
  Speaker 8: I'm going to take her for a ride. We're going
• 17:13
  Speaker 8: to get a burger in the drive-thru. And she's going
• 17:15
  Speaker 8: to get down. At least she won't be in pain
• 17:18
  Speaker 8: anymore because that blows. I'm sorry to hear that. Thank
• 17:21
  Speaker 8: you guys for the support. Appreciate it.
• 17:22
  Speaker 5: That's tough.
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: Seabass, cheers and jeers.
• 17:25
  Speaker 3: All right.
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: Fun to follow that one up. I set you up
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: real good, right, Seabass?
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: Actually, I've got a clip for mine, Woody, in my
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: folder there. Cheers to actual, authentic, real... OG bums.
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: Like with a bindle stick on a drum? Yeah. See,
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: so maybe it was the right decision going to Seabass
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: afterwards because we needed a little levity.
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: We've had, in these days of fentanyl zombies and people just,
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: you know, crapping everywhere and stealing copper and you can't,
• 17:52
  Speaker 2: and everything's locked up at the damn drugstore and they're
• 17:56
  Speaker 2: taking over sidewalks like the classic og just smile on
• 18:00
  Speaker 2: his face yeah jolly yeah and i ran into one
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: of these in the epicenter of the fentanyl zombie san
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: francisco and this guy he was singing a little tune
• 18:11
  Speaker 2: it's a solicit cash and i recorded it and here
• 18:13
  Speaker 2: it is.
• 18:14
  Speaker 8: Jingle bells jingle bells help me get drunk drunk as
• 18:18
  Speaker 8: a skunk.
• 18:18
  Speaker 3: Today Drinking and stinking and stinking and drinking.
• 18:23
  Speaker 8: That's the Jingle Bell way, boy.
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: It's nowhere near Christmas right now.
• 18:29
  Speaker 5: Get a nice vibrato.
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: You wouldn't know it going into like a Home Depot
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: and some of these other places. They're already rolling out
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: all the Christmas stuff. Very true.
• 18:37
  Speaker 3: Very true.
• 18:38
  Speaker 8: I much like Seabass appreciate when the unhoused will be
• 18:42
  Speaker 8: honest with you and say they want a beer or
• 18:43
  Speaker 8: say they want weed. And I'm like, I donate to
• 18:46
  Speaker 8: them first.
• 18:46
  Speaker 5: Yeah, don't lie to me.
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah. My favorite guy was the guy, Menace, I think
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: it was also San Francisco, right? When we lived there,
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: the guy said, I bet you can't hit me with
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: a quarter.
• 18:56
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: That's great. He'd be set up at a busy intersection,
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: a four-way intersection, and so people, as they're making the turn,
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: they were like throwing quarters and stuff at him.
• 19:07
  Speaker 8: I love that.
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: That brings up a good point. The homeless used to be, like, fun.
• 19:13
  Speaker 8: Jolly.
• 19:13
  Speaker 4: Jolly.
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: And not really mean. Yeah, what's wrong with these homeless people?
• 19:17
  Speaker 3: You know, be happier.
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: It's because they up their, when you're drinking all day,
• 19:21
  Speaker 2: that's fun.
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: Like, there's a bunch of people. You know what? That
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: is fun. You can do anything when you're drunk and
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: it's fun.
• 19:26
  Speaker 5: Yeah, the lovable hobo.
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: But when you're on fentanyl and super meth and all
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: this other garbage, you're just like.
• 19:31
  Speaker 3: Hunched over like a zombie.
• 19:32
  Speaker 5: Yeah, dope drop.
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you're just, you're sitting there just crapping yourself.
• 19:35
  Speaker 3: It's not fun.
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: Cheers to old school bums. Yeah. A song in their heart.
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: And vomit on their shirts. Okay.
• 19:45
  Speaker 2: So, jeers, though, to the season premiere of Saturday Night
• 19:49
  Speaker 2: Live with... Jalen Brunson from the Knicks and look they've
• 19:53
  Speaker 2: had various he's an athlete if you don't know he
• 19:56
  Speaker 2: was the big star for the Knicks and they won
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: the championship and that's why they had him on because
• 19:59
  Speaker 2: New York holy Christ and he was trying his hardest
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: but he's not an actor he's not a comedian they
• 20:06
  Speaker 2: had him lead a lot of sketches which is a
• 20:08
  Speaker 2: bad idea And it's everything. And I'm a big Saturday
• 20:12
  Speaker 2: Night Live apologist. I watch it all the time. I
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: cape for that, as they say.
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: Do you know what I heard about way more was,
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: and I totally forgot about, SNL UK was making more
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: news than SNL. I didn't even know that SNL UK
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: existed until last week of the week before.
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: Oh, really?
• 20:29
  Speaker 3: It's new.
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: It's available on streaming. Do you think people there say, ugh.
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: The American SNL is so much better. People here were
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: always like, oh, the British office is so much better. Well,
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: they're leaning on the American SNL. Tina Fey hosted the
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: first episode over there. So they're really trying to lean
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: on that. But yeah, Jalen Brunson, again, he seemed like
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: he was really trying and having a good time, but
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: holy Christ.
• 20:50
  Speaker 5: When it's a non-actor, they never make them leave the sketches.
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: That's the idea, yeah. You don't want them being the
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: comedic engine. No. You want them being like the guy
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: in the office who's, oh, what.
• 20:58
  Speaker 3: Are you doing?
• 20:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah, right.
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: Peyton Manning did a pretty good job. Right, there's Michael Jordan,
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: Peyton Manning, and that's about it.
• 21:04
  Speaker 3: Charles Barkley.
• 21:04
  Speaker 2: Charles Barkley does a good job. But yeah, so I
• 21:07
  Speaker 2: get it. SNL does this. They have Kim Kardashian and
• 21:10
  Speaker 2: Elon Musk, and they have all these people who just
• 21:12
  Speaker 2: to gain buzz, but man, was that a tough watch.
• 21:14
  Speaker 5: It was.
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: It was. I got to watch it. I didn't really
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: think people were watching SNL. I thought maybe they were
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: just kind of consuming the clips. Oh, that's for sure.
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: I'm saying more than actual watching. Same with any of
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: the late night TV shows. Are they staying up to
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: watch a late night TV show? I usually watch it
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: the next day, but I was traveling. Or are they
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: catching it via clips from Instagram and things like that?
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: Of the better sketches. A thousand percent, yes.
• 21:41
  Speaker 2: 877-44-WOODY.
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: You can text us. Check in over to 22987. We've
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: got some more Woody Show coming up for you next.
• 21:48
  Speaker 3: Hang on.
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: This is the iguana taco. Took the skin off of it?
• 21:52
  Speaker 3: Indeed.
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: I feel like I'm tasting the skin.
• 21:53
  Speaker 2: What do you think, Greg?
• 21:54
  Speaker 3: Not a whole lot of flavor. It's not iguana forward.
• 21:56
  Speaker 3: It's not like.
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: It's not like.
• 21:58
  Speaker 3: It's got some.
• 21:59
  Speaker 8: Iguana-esque.
• 22:00
  Speaker 5: It's not lizard.
• 22:01
  Speaker 3: It's not iguana.
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: The Woody Show.