Latest / ok storytime / My friend talks about her wedding daily… but she never INVITED me! | Reddit Stories | EP3142

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My friend talks about her wedding daily… but she never INVITED me! | Reddit Stories | EP3142 · ok storytime

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hey, this is Carly.
• 0:01
  Speaker 2: And this is Dakota, your favorite OK Storytime hosts, and
• 0:04
  Speaker 2: we've got some great stories coming up.
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: But before that, we have a quick two-minute break from
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: the sponsors that keep the show alive. My friend talks
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: about her wedding daily, but she never invited me. Well,
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: this is awkward. I, 25 female, met my friend Amanda,
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: 27 female, at work over three years ago. She was
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: new to the team, and I had the opportunity to
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: help train her. We clicked instantly. and became really good
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: friends pretty fast. There was never any doubt in my
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: mind that we weren't close friends. Although her schedule was
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: slightly different than mine, she gets off work an hour
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: or two after I do. We always made plans and
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: met up for shopping, drinks, hanging out, and double dates
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: with our boyfriends. Obviously, we have mutual friends we work with,
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: and we all try to have dinner together every once
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: in a while or go out to a bar or club.
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: I was very happy for Amanda when she got engaged
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: to her longtime high school sweetheart just over a year ago.
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: They're absolutely perfect for one another, and when she showed
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: me the ring, I was floored with how pretty it was.
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: I did ask when the wedding would be, and she
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: said late in the summer of 2017. It's coming up
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: in August. Ooh, throwback! By the way, this comes from
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: Wedding Day, and if you want to submit your own stories,
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: go to the r slash ok story time subreddit. I'm Savannah.
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: I'm Sophia. I'm McKeon. And we're here to give some
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: good advice, Goofly. But we don't have all your answers.
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: We're only going to tell you what we would do.
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: Let us know what you would do down in the comments.
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: As Opie says, she has spoken to me almost daily
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: about her wedding planning process, which I'm totally fine with.
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: One day while we were hanging out, she proactively told
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: me that she wasn't inviting close friends or co-workers to
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: the ceremony. She wanted a small and intimate wedding with
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: her and her soon-to-be husband's family, and then everyone would
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: be invited to the reception after. This seemed like a
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: really good idea, and I said I liked that a lot. However,
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: after she sent out invitations, three mutual friends and coworkers
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: Snapchatted their invitations, and it's not just a reception-only invitation.
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: The snaps weren't sent directly to me, but were on
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: their story, and I just so happened to see them
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: while clicking through stories. I was hurt that I didn't
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: even receive an invitation, even if only to the reception,
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: but I didn't bother bringing it up to Amanda. Why not?
• 2:25
  Speaker 3: I would have been like, Amanda, why didn't I get
• 2:28
  Speaker 3: invited to your wedding?
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: If Sophia was having a wedding and I wasn't invited,
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: I'd be like, where's my invitation? What's going on? I'm sorry.
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: And then I go, oh, don't worry. You're the flower girl. Well, actually,
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: that's Keon.
• 2:40
  Speaker 3: Sorry.
• 2:41
  Speaker 4: Sorry.
• 2:41
  Speaker 5: I took that.
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: Keon already had that job. I'll bear the rings. I'll
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: come in wearing a grizzly bear costume.
• 2:50
  Speaker 5: I would have messaged any of those three friends or
• 2:52
  Speaker 5: three co-workers and be like, oh, I thought co-workers weren't invited.
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and then they all have to be awkward and they're.
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: Like, oh. I guess you weren't. Clearly, we weren't as
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: close of friends as I thought, and she had already
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: made it clear to me that she had no plans
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: of inviting friends or co-workers.
• 3:14
  Speaker 5: However.
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: Since she had invited some other girls we work with,
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: I figured it was just a roundabout way of her
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: politely telling me I wasn't invited while trying to spare
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: my feelings. How about she can just tell you that then? Yeah,
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: that's a little weird.
• 3:26
  Speaker 5: Spare my feelings.
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: Spare those feelings.
• 3:27
  Speaker 5: Tell me.
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: My feelings have not been spared. However, she loves that word.
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: She still talks to me daily about her wedding that's
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: coming up in a few months. And it makes me uncomfortable.
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: She constantly talks about everything. Recently, she... talked my ear
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: off during our lunch break about her dress, and then
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: showed me all the pictures she took in it before
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: sending it off to get altered. It's a very pretty dress,
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: but it was a harsh reminder that I won't get
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: to be there to see her in it or celebrate
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: her marriage. I'm perfectly polite and engaged in our conversations
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: when she speaks to me about her wedding, but it's
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: the only topic that ever comes up in any attempt
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: to change it, somehow comes straight back to her big day.
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: I get it, she's excited, and she's allowed that, but
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: it stings.
• 4:10
  Speaker 4: A lot.
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: Obviously, I've distanced myself from hanging out with her as
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: much because her thoughts on our friendship are, or were,
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: drastically different than mine. How can I politely tell her
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: to stop talking to me about it without hurting her feelings?
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: Or having it turn nasty? And if it does turn nasty,
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: how should I even begin to handle it? I don't
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: think Amanda would make things nasty. She's very nice. But
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: I don't want her to feel like I'm attacking her
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: in any way and then make a mountain out of
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: a molehill. Any advice is greatly appreciated. There's an edit. Girl,
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: I just think you got to like bring it up.
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: Just be like, am I coming to this wedding? That's
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: what I would say. I mean, if you're truly like
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: friends with someone, like I feel like I could ask that. Yeah,
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: I think you could do that.
• 4:54
  Speaker 3: Or you can say, hey, you are not obligated to
• 4:59
  Speaker 3: invite me to your wedding at all.
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: This is not an ask for that.
• 5:05
  Speaker 3: But I feel a little uncomfortable that you keep telling
• 5:08
  Speaker 3: me about your wedding.
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: And I'm not invited. I was also thinking, like, maybe
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: she just completely forgot to send it. Could be. Or
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: just was like, oh, I just assumed. Oh, yeah.
• 5:18
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: I was like, am I coming to the wedding?
• 5:20
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: And they're like, yeah, of course. Or got lost or whatever.
• 5:22
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 5:23
  Speaker 5: Oh. Okay. It's a very easy way to segue, especially
• 5:27
  Speaker 5: if she's talking about it 24-7. You go, oh my gosh, yeah,
• 5:30
  Speaker 5: the other people were talking about it and I saw
• 5:31
  Speaker 5: it on their stories that they were invited.
• 5:33
  Speaker 6: What happened with that? Yeah.
• 5:35
  Speaker 5: You don't even have to ask. I thought co-workers weren't
• 5:37
  Speaker 5: invited or I thought there was going to be a
• 5:39
  Speaker 5: reception after.
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: Am I coming to your wedding?
• 5:41
  Speaker 5: Do we think OP's invited?
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: I don't know. I think she is. I think she
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: is too.
• 5:46
  Speaker 5: I think she is.
• 5:47
  Speaker 3: I don't know why you would talk about a wedding
• 5:49
  Speaker 3: so much to a person that wasn't invited.
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: Exactly.
• 5:51
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: If I'm like specifically not inviting you, I won't talk
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: about it because then I don't want to bring it
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: up because I'm afraid that person will be like, am
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: I coming? Yeah.
• 6:02
  Speaker 4: Edit.
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: I never expected this to receive as many comments and
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: suggestions as it has. I've read every single comment thus
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: far and I've gained a lot of insight into the situation.
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: and how I should likely move forward. I will definitely
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: speak up when Amanda tries to talk to me next.
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: I will advise her that while I'm happy for her,
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: I have no interest in chatting about or listening to
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: her talk about a wedding or celebration that I wasn't
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: invited to. If she tries to continue, I'll deflect it
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: as politely or humorously as possible. If she freaks out, well,
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: I'll handle that to the best of my ability. Edit two.
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: I'm seeing a lot of repeat comments and just want
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: to reiterate a small fact. She has never asked for
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: my address, nor does she know where I live, and
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: vice versa. Although we hung out a lot, it was
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: never at each other's place. She was living with her
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: parents until she and her fiancé bought a house recently,
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: so she wasn't comfortable having people over. And I live
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: with several roommates in a shared home with my boyfriend,
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: so I never invite people over. If she did intend
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: to invite me, I imagine she would have asked for
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: my address or given it to me by hand. Neither
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: of these things happened, and with her family, first telling
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: me she had no intention of inviting a particular group
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: I fit into, I'm pretty confident that she never intended
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: to invite me from the get-go. With that said, I
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: plan on politely nudging her to stop when she approaches
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: me next. I'll update this when that happens. Thank you
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: all so much for your advice. I want to know
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: if she asked. I just need her to ask.
• 7:34
  Speaker 3: I need to get to the part where she asks.
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah. That's all. Well, the thing is she's not even
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: going to ask. Like she's not asking her like, hey,
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: I'm invited. Her way of going about it is, hey,
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: can you stop talking about your wedding? Which I think
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: is way worse. Yeah. Way worse to just be like, hey,
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: stop talking about that thing you always talk about. Just ask.
• 7:54
  Speaker 5: Or you just be like, hey, if I'm not invited
• 7:56
  Speaker 5: to the wedding, I don't need to hear about it
• 7:58
  Speaker 5: kind of thing. Like it makes me feel bad that
• 8:00
  Speaker 5: I'm not invited.
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: Update. Update. Hello, everyone. I meant to update this yesterday
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: when I got off work, but I forgot. So here's
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: a slightly late update on what transpired after I received
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: a lot of great feedback and suggestions. I took my
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: second break a little later than usual, hoping that Amanda
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: wouldn't notice. Well, she did. And she hopped up from
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: her desk and followed me into the break room. She said, hello,
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: asked me how I was doing for once. And before
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: I had fully sat down to relax, began chatting about
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: her wedding again.
• 8:31
  Speaker 5: Oh, my gosh.
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: Girl can't catch a break.
• 8:33
  Speaker 5: I can't wait. Like, after this, what's your personality?
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah, like, what do we talk about? Are we even friends?
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: Or do you just want to talk to your friend?
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: Now it'll just be, well, after the wedding, then we'll
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: reminisce the wedding.
• 8:43
  Speaker 6: The honeymoon.
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: And oh my God, the wedding was amazing.
• 8:47
  Speaker 5: You should have been there.
• 8:48
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 8:48
  Speaker 5: You should have been there.
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: Remember when this happened?
• 8:51
  Speaker 4: Oh, oh, shoot.
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: Well, this happened here. Look, we have it on video. Yeah.
• 8:55
  Speaker 3: She's like, I actually had to not invite one person
• 8:57
  Speaker 3: so that I could tell them about everything that happened.
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: Oh, God.
• 9:01
  Speaker 5: You're invited because you're Amanda's journal. Obviously, she's like, take
• 9:05
  Speaker 5: this down.
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: I waited a moment, then politely cut in with a
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: smile and said, Amanda, I really appreciate that you want
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: to share all of this with me. But this talk
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: makes me slightly uncomfortable. She looked really confused and asked
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: me why. I was honest and told her that it
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: makes me upset that all it seems she wants to
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: talk to me about is her wedding, and I wasn't invited.
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: She kind of laughed it off and said, but I
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: didn't invite anyone from work, so it's not just you.
• 9:31
  Speaker 5: Okay, so she doesn't care.
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: Isn't that also a lie?
• 9:35
  Speaker 5: That's also a blatant lie.
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: So that comment alone made it very clear that I
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: was intentionally excluded from her invitation list. Yes, she has
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: every right to choose who she wants to invite to
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: her wedding, but there's a right and a wrong way
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: to go about it. Telling me she was excluding a
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: specific group that includes me, then inviting other people and
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: lying to me about it at that point is not
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: the right way to go about it. A simple, hey,
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: I know we're friends and all, but I made the
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: decision not to invite you to my wedding for X
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: amount of reasons would have totally been okay, and I
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: would have respected that decision 100%. Yeah, pretty crazy to
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: lie about this. So... When people are posting on their stories.
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: This girl just is not, like, not even... She didn't
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: feel bad. She's just like, yeah. Well, Philly. Yeah. Well,
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: I didn't invite anyone. And then three other people post
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: on their story that they got invited. I really hope
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: Opie goes, it's okay that you don't want to invite me.
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: I don't know why you're lying.
• 10:31
  Speaker 3: Because I just saw three other people from our work
• 10:34
  Speaker 3: post that they were also invited.
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: But yeah, don't talk to me about your wedding. Yeah.
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: So she's not invited. But I don't know if someone's
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: not invited to someone. I'm not just going to keep talking. Yeah.
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: It's so rude. Just seems like. That's not the right
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: way to go about it. No, it's just rude. It's like,
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: oh yeah, I have my like birthday party coming up,
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: you know, and this is the theme and these X
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: amount of people are going to be there and we're
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: going to have this big, huge party. Everyone's invited except
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: like a few people. Including you. Including you. But I
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: want to tell you all about it. Like, oh, that's
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: weird to me. It is so weird. I kind of
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: gave her a weird look and said, but you invited
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: friend one, two, and three. I saw it on their
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: Snapchat stories a while back. Unless that was a mistake.
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: I have never seen a woman turn around so fast
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: and bolt out of a room. Oh, you idiot.
• 11:21
  Speaker 3: She went, oh man, they posted all of that on
• 11:24
  Speaker 3: their stories? If she was trying to lie about that,
• 11:27
  Speaker 3: she should have told them, hey.
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: Keep this a secret.
• 11:29
  Speaker 5: Well, at least, hopefully this reveals the truth, cat's out
• 11:32
  Speaker 5: of the bag, and she doesn't have to talk to
• 11:34
  Speaker 5: you about it anymore.
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: Okay, Bill, don't call me. Don't come by my desk.
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: You're not invited to my wedding. That's crazy to be like, well,
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: but I saw your friend's post.
• 11:47
  Speaker 5: Which is crazy.
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: Why isn't she talking to them? I don't know. I
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: think she's going to go talk to them. She ran
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: out of the room to go talk to them. She
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: looked positively angry. I imagine she went to find all
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: three of these girls and tell them what I found.
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: Either way, I got to enjoy the last few minutes
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: of my break in peace. She didn't approach me for
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: the rest of the day and avoided me as we
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: both walked the same path to leave the building and
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: get to the general area where we had parked our cars.
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: Safe to say I've lost a few friends. For what?
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: They weren't really your friends. Safe to say I've lost
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: a few friends, but I'm not heartbroken about it. I'm
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: just glad there wasn't any drama involved in my saying anything.
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: And I'm pretty sure all four of them will be
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: avoiding me from here on out. But, like, why? It's
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: so ridiculous.
• 12:34
  Speaker 3: That's what I don't understand.
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: Because they're like, oh, well, OP got us in trouble,
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: which is not the case at all.
• 12:39
  Speaker 6: I don't know.
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: This is ridiculous.
• 12:40
  Speaker 3: They weren't really your friends.
• 12:41
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: I don't know. I just would not. I would ever
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: do this. Because who does this? Like, really? Who does this?
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: Just to like.
• 12:51
  Speaker 5: Attention seekers, people who just want to talk and like just.
• 12:54
  Speaker 5: feel superior.
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: This obviously was a very one-sided friendship.
• 12:59
  Speaker 5: Oh, yeah.
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: Where OP's friend just like, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk,
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: and OP's like, uh-huh, uh-huh, like, great listener. Okay, all right.
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: And it's like, actually, you don't know anything about me. Yeah,
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: I actually don't like you. All I know is the
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: wedding that you're throwing that I'm not invited.
• 13:12
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I only know about your wedding that I'm not
• 13:13
  Speaker 3: invited to.
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: I can tell you every detail about the wedding that
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: I'm not going to, but you don't even know where
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: I live. But that's the end of that story, folks,
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: and we got another one coming right up.
• 13:24
  Speaker 3: I gave my friend my blessing to date my ex.
• 13:27
  Speaker 3: She treated me like a threat.
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: Girl, I gave you permission.
• 13:30
  Speaker 3: Take him. I, 20 female, cut off my best friend
• 13:33
  Speaker 3: of eight years. 21 female, let's call her Lucy.
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: For Lucifer. Ooh.
• 13:39
  Speaker 3: We grew up together, lived close by, went to the
• 13:41
  Speaker 3: same school, and eventually ended up at nearby universities. In
• 13:45
  Speaker 3: high school, we both became friends with David, 22 male.
• 13:48
  Speaker 5: Oh my gosh. Someone here likes a certain anime.
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: Ooh. What anime?
• 13:55
  Speaker 5: Cyberpunk.
• 13:57
  Speaker 3: I started dating him when I was 16 and he
• 13:59
  Speaker 3: was almost 18.
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: We were together for about.
• 14:02
  Speaker 3: A year and a half and pretty much everyone at
• 14:04
  Speaker 3: school knew that we were dating. Honestly, he was a
• 14:07
  Speaker 3: great boyfriend. We eventually broke up because long distance wasn't
• 14:10
  Speaker 3: working after he left for college. I was the one
• 14:13
  Speaker 3: who ended things. There was no cheating, no huge fight,
• 14:18
  Speaker 3: no messy breakup. We stayed on good terms afterward. Every
• 14:22
  Speaker 3: month or two, we'd check in, chat for 10 or
• 14:24
  Speaker 3: 15 minutes, and move on with our lives. I even
• 14:27
  Speaker 3: attended his 20th birthday party. A few months later, Lucy
• 14:30
  Speaker 3: admitted she'd always had a crush on David and asked
• 14:34
  Speaker 3: if I'd be okay with her pursuing him. I was
• 14:36
  Speaker 3: dating my then-boyfriend Mark, was completely in love, and genuinely
• 14:40
  Speaker 3: didn't care.
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: So I told her to go for it. Nice!
• 14:44
  Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from smoothspell7918, and if you
• 14:47
  Speaker 3: want to submit to your own stories, go to the
• 14:49
  Speaker 3: r slash ok story time subreddit.
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: I'm Sophia. I'm Savannah.
• 14:53
  Speaker 5: I'm Keon.
• 14:54
  Speaker 3: And we've only got some advice, and it's definitely goofy,
• 14:58
  Speaker 3: but if you've got other advice that's maybe more.
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: Serious, put it down below.
• 15:03
  Speaker 3: OP says, the only boundary I had was when she
• 15:06
  Speaker 3: suggested a double date.
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: A double tat.
• 15:09
  Speaker 6: What?
• 15:11
  Speaker 5: What did you say?
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: A double tat. Yeah. A double tat. She just scattered.
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: A double tat. That's really good. I'm so glad. A
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: double tat.
• 15:24
  Speaker 3: Mark wasn't exactly thrilled about having dinner with my ex,
• 15:27
  Speaker 3: which I think is pretty reasonable, so I politely declined.
• 15:32
  Speaker 3: Lucy got weirdly upset over it. Fast forward about a
• 15:35
  Speaker 3: year and a half into the relationship. Lucy throws a party,
• 15:38
  Speaker 3: David's there too. I didn't really know a lot of
• 15:41
  Speaker 3: people there. She had invited mostly her uni friends. So
• 15:44
  Speaker 3: he was one of the familiar faces. Every single time
• 15:48
  Speaker 3: I'd start talking to him, she'd magically appear like she
• 15:51
  Speaker 3: had a sixth sense and pull either him or me
• 15:55
  Speaker 3: away with some random excuse. After the third time, I
• 15:58
  Speaker 3: got the message and just kept my distance. Later that night,
• 16:02
  Speaker 3: it got pretty late and David offered to drop me
• 16:04
  Speaker 3: back to my PG.
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: Your pig? I don't know. Lucy got into the car too.
• 16:10
  Speaker 3: Girl sat in the passenger seat like her boyfriend was
• 16:13
  Speaker 3: about to dry hump me from the driver's seat at.
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: A red light.
• 16:16
  Speaker 6: What?
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: What does that mean?
• 16:18
  Speaker 5: What?
• 16:19
  Speaker 3: Is that like she's sitting in the passenger seat like.
• 16:23
  Speaker 3: After that, I intentionally distanced myself from both of them.
• 16:27
  Speaker 3: I only replied when she texted first and I stopped
• 16:29
  Speaker 3: talking to David altogether. Then, a few weeks ago, Mark
• 16:32
  Speaker 3: and I broke up after two years.
• 16:36
  Speaker 5: Oh, no.
• 16:37
  Speaker 3: I was already having a rough time between work, being
• 16:40
  Speaker 3: away from my family, and the breakup. Lucy invited me
• 16:43
  Speaker 3: over to cheer me up. Instead, she tells me David
• 16:46
  Speaker 3: has been distant lately, spends more time gaming with his friends,
• 16:50
  Speaker 3: has been canceling dates, and then asks me if I
• 16:53
  Speaker 3: think it has something to do with me. Mind you,
• 16:55
  Speaker 3: I hadn't spoken to David since the party. Then she
• 16:58
  Speaker 3: clarified she wasn't accusing me of doing anything yet. She
• 17:01
  Speaker 3: was just worried that now I was single, I might
• 17:04
  Speaker 3: make a move on our boyfriend. That was my breaking point.
• 17:08
  Speaker 3: Was there any point at, like, actually having a conversation
• 17:11
  Speaker 3: with this girl?
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: She just sounds, like, annoying.
• 17:13
  Speaker 5: I think she's just insecure.
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah, obviously, yeah. That's a big thing. Big time insecure.
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: So big insecure. I would also say... that it's so
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: funny that as soon as OP and Mark break up,
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: she's all of a sudden like, oh no, she's gonna
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: go after, she's gonna go after David. They've been talking
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: about it back this whole time. They've been friends for
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: so long because they dated that one time in high school.
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: Oh my God. She's putting David into a panic room.
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: She's like, David, stay here. Don't leave, David. I told
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: her if she was this.
• 17:44
  Speaker 3: Insecure about me and David, she never should have dated
• 17:46
  Speaker 3: him in the first place. I also told her I
• 17:49
  Speaker 3: never go after a man in a relationship. let alone
• 17:52
  Speaker 3: my friend's boyfriend. I even showed her my chats with David,
• 17:55
  Speaker 3: which I absolutely did not owe her, just to prove
• 17:58
  Speaker 3: we'd barely spoken. Then I called her insecure, left, blocked
• 18:03
  Speaker 3: her everywhere, and haven't spoken to her since.
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: Oh, dang.
• 18:06
  Speaker 5: Wow.
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: I mean, I wouldn't really block her, but I guess
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: she's been on. Yeah, I guess if she's been, if
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: this has been a long time coming.
• 18:14
  Speaker 5: Do you think it'll make her feel better or worse?
• 18:17
  Speaker 5: Like she'll overthink it or underthink it?
• 18:19
  Speaker 4: OP?
• 18:20
  Speaker 3: No, Lucy.
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: Oh, Lucy.
• 18:21
  Speaker 3: Oh, she's going to be like, David, is she still
• 18:24
  Speaker 3: contacting you? David, is she still talking to you?
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: Oh, I'm sure she'll like go through his phone and
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: it'll be like a trust thing because she'll be like, oh, I.
• 18:31
  Speaker 5: Can't see what she's doing. And David's like, David will
• 18:33
  Speaker 5: have a photo.
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: An old photo. Yeah, of them together.
• 18:36
  Speaker 5: And she's like, how dare you?
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: I knew it.
• 18:39
  Speaker 3: Some mutual friends think I overreacted because she was just asking.
• 18:43
  Speaker 3: But after months of being treated like I was lurking
• 18:45
  Speaker 3: in the shadows, waiting for the chance to steal her boyfriend,
• 18:49
  Speaker 3: I was done.
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: So am I the a-hole? No, you do what's best
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: for you. Nope. I don't think I have to deal
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: with that. Yeah, she was she's just an insecure girl
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: who real like, you know, it's nice that she didn't
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: like do this behind your back, like ask your permission. Like,
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: is it OK? You know, whatever. I think that's like
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: being a person. I like that. But not like every
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: time you guys talk, you know, she's like showing up like, oh,
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: hey guys, what are we talking about? Oh, that's so funny.
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: I think that all the time.
• 19:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: It's like, okay. It's like, I don't know anyone else.
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: So obviously I'm going to hang out with this person.
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: Like that would be the same thing if like I
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: went to, you know, a party and like Sophia threw
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: it and I only knew her boyfriend.
• 19:35
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: I would probably just talk to him. I mean, I
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: try to probably talk to the other people, but like ultimately,
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: you know, you have like the people you go back to. Yes.
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: Like the people that you feel comfortable with. Exactly. I'm like, oh,
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: I know this guy.
• 19:47
  Speaker 3: I'm gonna talk to him but that's the end of
• 19:49
  Speaker 3: that story and we've got another one coming right.
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: Up i let my friend stay with me rent free
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: then she moved someone else in hey what gives i
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: mid-30s female have a friend early 30s female who has
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: been going through a difficult period after a long-term relationship
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: ended Earlier this year, I let her stay with me
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: while she looked for a job. We never set a
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: firm end date, but I expected it to be relatively short.
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: She ended up staying for almost three months, from February
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: to the end of April. During that time, she didn't
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: contribute towards groceries, utilities, or cleaning. I knew she didn't
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: have a job, so I didn't ask for rent, but
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: eventually I sat her down and said I'd appreciate a
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: contribution towards utilities going forward. Before I could even explain
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: what I meant, she actually offered to pay radioactively from... Retroactively.
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: She's paying radioactively.
• 20:40
  Speaker 3: I was like, I actually can't accept that because I
• 20:42
  Speaker 3: can't touch it.
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: This girl. She's radioactively. This girl, she's giving me radioactive money.
• 20:47
  Speaker 5: She's imagining dragons.
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: I was confused when I said it and I was like,
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: maybe I just don't know that term. Before I could
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: even explain what I meant, she actually offered to pay
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: retroactively from when she first... in. I accepted. I calculated
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: her share, just electricity, gas, and water, and sent it
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: to her. She paid immediately with no argument, and we
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: had a friendly conversation afterwards. So I considered that issue resolved,
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: as would anyone else. By the way, this comes from Quaidon,
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: and if you want to submit your own stories, go
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: to the r slash ok story time subreddit. I'm Savannah.
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: I'm Zovia.
• 21:26
  Speaker 5: I'm Keon.
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: And we are here to do some funny things and
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: talk about some funny stuff. But we don't have all
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: of the answers. We're only going to tell you what
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: we would do. But please let us know what you
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: would do down in the comments. Please.
• 21:38
  Speaker 5: You're so funny.
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: Kabba's God says she's paying in uranium-235. She's playing radioactive money.
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: I can't accept that. I can't even touch that money. Please,
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: I can't accept it.
• 21:50
  Speaker 5: Don't tell the Libyans.
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: As Opie says, fast forward to now on July 6th,
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: I asked her if she'd like to do it. She
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: didn't answer that message until today, August 2nd.
• 22:00
  Speaker 4: Whoa.
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: So a whole month. Dang. Even though we'd spoken several
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: times in between. I'm currently traveling overseas for several weeks.
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: She offered to house sit and look after my plants
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: for August. Yesterday, we also spoke normally, and she never
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: mentioned that anyone else would be staying at my apartment.
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: This morning, while I was asleep, my security camera kept
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: sending me motion alerts. About 15 minutes before she arrived,
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: she messaged me asking if it would be all right
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: if her friends stayed over at my place for a
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: few days. The problem is that by the time I
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: received the message, she and her friend were already on
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: their way. I later found out he was already there.
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: This isn't someone I know well. I've met him once
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: about five years ago. I replied asking what would have
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: happened if I had said no, and her response was simply,
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: ha ha ha, ha ha ha ha ha.
• 22:49
  Speaker 5: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: You didn't say no, though. I haven't responded yet. because
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: I just want to curse her out. I called her
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: before I sent that message and asked how she dealt
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: with the alarm and she admitted something about the camera.
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: When I asked what happened, she told me she unplugged
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: it because she wanted to charge her phone.
• 23:09
  Speaker 4: Girl.
• 23:10
  Speaker 5: You mean to tell me there's no other places for that?
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: Girl, there's no other outlets? Come on. The camera is
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: in my bedroom. When I asked why she was in
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: my bedroom, she said she was unclothed, which means she
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: had been changing and sleeping in my bed. I never
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: gave her permission to use my bedroom. She has always
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: stayed in the guest room whenever she's been in my apartment.
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: Her guests could stay on the sofa bed. I'm also
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: now going to have to strip the bed and deep
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: clean my bedroom when I get home. Before leaving, I
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: spent hours deep cleaning the apartment specifically so I wouldn't
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: have to do it after traveling. I do that too.
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: I love coming home to a nice clean house. Me too.
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: I can see both sides because I get really weird
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: about asking people... if like they could stay at my place,
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: but I feel like, I don't know. You also have.
• 23:57
  Speaker 3: To, I someone understand the person staying over, but staying
• 24:01
  Speaker 3: her staying in Opie's bed.
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: That I wouldn't do immediate. Like, no, I would definitely
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: ask if that was an option.
• 24:10
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: I'd be like, is it possible?
• 24:12
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 24:12
  Speaker 3: I have someone else staying here. Could I sleep in
• 24:14
  Speaker 3: your bed or something? Yeah, no, you know, like crazy
• 24:17
  Speaker 3: to sleep in the bed and not ask. Yeah.
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: That's really weird. I wouldn't do that. For context, she
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: has apologized to me in the past when she's crossed boundaries,
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: and I expect she'll apologize again when we speak later today.
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: My issue isn't whether she'll say sorry, it's that I
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: feel like she repeatedly assumes access to my time, home,
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: and generosity without asking first. Am I overreacting by feeling
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: like this has seriously damaged my trust in her, or
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: would most people see this as a major boundary violation?
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: yes to both of those yeah i think it's fair
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: to say yeah she's done this in the past if
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: like if this was a one-time thing i'd be like
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: okay yeah crappy but like just don't do it again
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: but if you said this has happened in the past
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: where she's disobeyed your boundaries and yeah.
• 25:05
  Speaker 3: Get a divorce immediately this is my cat's name yeah
• 25:10
  Speaker 3: divorce your roommate It's just blatant disrespect.
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: And at that point, you're not... Like, she's not being
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: a good roommate.
• 25:17
  Speaker 4: No.
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: By, like, using your stuff, unplugging your things. And Opie's saying, like, hey,
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: what if I said no? And she just goes... Yeah, like,
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: that's not even a conversation.
• 25:27
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: No, no, no. I don't think you're overreacting at all.
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: I think you can... I think she's not being fair. And... She, like,
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: does these things. I would sit down and have the
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: conversation of, like, do you not feel comfortable coming to
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: me and asking me things? Because I'd rather you ask
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: than you just do and then apologize later. You know?
• 25:45
  Speaker 5: Also, just get out.
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: Just get out. Get the heck out of here. But
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: we've got another story. Hey, it's Carly, Keon's girlfriend, here.
• 25:55
  Speaker 5: We're going to get back to the stories, but here's
• 25:57
  Speaker 5: three minutes of ads from our sponsors.
• 26:00
  Speaker 4: My friend told me to get over my father's memorial,
• 26:03
  Speaker 4: so I snapped back.
• 26:05
  Speaker 6: He just passed.
• 26:06
  Speaker 1: I honestly don't even know where to start.
• 26:08
  Speaker 4: I'm a 21 male and I have a friend that
• 26:12
  Speaker 4: I've known for four years. His parents divorced when he
• 26:14
  Speaker 4: was five and both of them decided to leave custody
• 26:17
  Speaker 4: to his father because he was.
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: Financially better off and for other reasons as well. Growing
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: up away from his mother obviously affected him.
• 26:25
  Speaker 4: He's also an only child, which may have played a
• 26:28
  Speaker 4: role in shaping his somewhat odd personality. His dad is
• 26:32
  Speaker 4: a good guy overall, although my friend thinks that he's
• 26:35
  Speaker 4: a bit controlling and overly focused on his grades. Apart
• 26:39
  Speaker 4: from that, his father has always supported him financially. I've
• 26:42
  Speaker 4: always tried to keep his background in mind. Of course,
• 26:45
  Speaker 4: I'll never truly understand or relate to what he went through,
• 26:49
  Speaker 4: but because of that, I will think twice before saying.
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: Anything to him, since he's very sensitive.
• 26:54
  Speaker 6: He went through NOM!
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: With that divorce. It was a war. It was. Anyway.
• 27:02
  Speaker 4: He's the kind of person who wants you to listen
• 27:04
  Speaker 4: to all of his problems, but won't listen to yours.
• 27:06
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: Then why are we babying him? Hmm. What are we doing?
• 27:10
  Speaker 6: Call an energy vampire.
• 27:12
  Speaker 5: This guy wants people to have ears, but he doesn't
• 27:14
  Speaker 5: want ears on himself.
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: Sounds like it.
• 27:16
  Speaker 4: I didn't pay much attention to that because he has
• 27:19
  Speaker 4: some good traits.
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: Very faithful and genuine.
• 27:22
  Speaker 4: So I overlooked a lot of things that he says
• 27:24
  Speaker 4: that other people might find hurtful. OP, I think we've
• 27:27
  Speaker 4: got a chronic people pleaser on our hands. Did you?
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: Uh-oh. Doctor, I believe we've got our CPP on our hands.
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: We need it surgically removed.
• 27:38
  Speaker 5: Just get the knife out. Get the scissors. Riley, you
• 27:48
  Speaker 5: are a woman doctor. What do we do?
• 27:49
  Speaker 6: I don't deal with pee-pees. The women I work with
• 27:53
  Speaker 6: don't have those.
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from ResearcherEmpty8071.
• 27:59
  Speaker 4: And if you want to submit your own stories, go
• 28:01
  Speaker 4: to the r slash OKStoryTime subreddit.
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: I'm Angie.
• 28:04
  Speaker 6: I'm Riley.
• 28:05
  Speaker 5: I'm Angie.
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: Oh, and we are here. All two of us are
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: here to do what?
• 28:11
  Speaker 6: You got a big butt. You might be, Angie.
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: Holy cow.
• 28:14
  Speaker 6: Now that I'm looking at you.
• 28:15
  Speaker 4: We're here to give good advice goofily and some other
• 28:18
  Speaker 4: nonsense apparently as well.
• 28:20
  Speaker 5: Riley's eyes are going like this right.
• 28:23
  Speaker 4: Now.
• 28:23
  Speaker 5: Excuse me, Pennywise right now.
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: Well, we don't know everything though. So if you know
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: more than us, comment down below. We welcome it.
• 28:32
  Speaker 6: Wait a second. I know what it is. Angie doesn't
• 28:34
  Speaker 6: have a mustache.
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: That's the difference? That's the one difference that you found?
• 28:38
  Speaker 5: Oh, he notices. Aww. In this economy and day and age,
• 28:42
  Speaker 5: Chivalry is still alive.
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: Yep.
• 28:45
  Speaker 6: We do know something.
• 28:46
  Speaker 5: Thanks, Riley. You're such a good boyfriend. Right, Angie?
• 28:49
  Speaker 4: Right.
• 28:50
  Speaker 5: Angie.
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: That's right.
• 28:51
  Speaker 5: Yes, we're both Angie.
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah, right, Angie?
• 28:54
  Speaker 5: Right, Angie.
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: Right, Angie.
• 28:56
  Speaker 4: Anywho, OP says, ever since I first learned about his upbringing,
• 29:01
  Speaker 4: I've gone out of my way to avoid mentioning the
• 29:03
  Speaker 4: word mom or mother around him. As he opened up
• 29:07
  Speaker 4: to me once about how sensitive this topic is for him.
• 29:10
  Speaker 4: If my mom calls me while he's around, I'll say
• 29:13
  Speaker 4: it's my sister calling because I don't want to hurt
• 29:14
  Speaker 4: his feelings.
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: OP, you are just too dang nice. You are just
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: too dang sweet, OP. I need you to not be
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: sweet anymore. It's getting annoying. Couple of days ago was
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: my dad's memorial.
• 29:26
  Speaker 4: Every year, I like to spend that day alone, remembering
• 29:28
  Speaker 4: him and allowing myself to experience the wave of grief
• 29:32
  Speaker 4: that intensifies.
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: Around this time.
• 29:35
  Speaker 4: Unfortunately, even though I wasn't in the mood, I had
• 29:37
  Speaker 4: to attend a meeting for a research project with this
• 29:39
  Speaker 4: friend and a few colleagues. After the meeting ended, he
• 29:43
  Speaker 4: came over and asked why I seemed gloomy. I apologized
• 29:46
  Speaker 4: and told.
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: Him that I wasn't in the mood to talk. He
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: already knew why, by the way.
• 29:51
  Speaker 4: He looked me straight in the eye and with a
• 29:53
  Speaker 4: flat expression said... It's been seven years since he passed.
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: Get over it.
• 29:58
  Speaker 7: Oh.
• 30:01
  Speaker 6: You know, any other day, any other day, but the
• 30:03
  Speaker 6: day that he passed.
• 30:04
  Speaker 5: Yeah. If Opie was using it as like an excuse
• 30:08
  Speaker 5: for like everything.
• 30:09
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 30:09
  Speaker 5: That's one thing.
• 30:10
  Speaker 8: Yeah.
• 30:10
  Speaker 5: But it's not.
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: It's not. He's still showing up to this research night.
• 30:16
  Speaker 7: The opposite of this is going up to a couple
• 30:18
  Speaker 7: that is celebrating their wedding anniversary and saying, get over it.
• 30:21
  Speaker 6: It's been seven. Eight years.
• 30:23
  Speaker 5: That would actually be really funny to say to someone.
• 30:27
  Speaker 5: It's your birthday? Oh, it's your 25th birthday?
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: Get over it. Get over it.
• 30:30
  Speaker 5: It's 25 years.
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: That was 25 years ago. Get over it. That's so funny.
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: Oh my God. That's hilarious. But yeah, no, that's insane.
• 30:39
  Speaker 4: Especially since like the fact that he asked, why so glum,
• 30:43
  Speaker 4: Sugar Plum?
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: And he already, like he was asking that with the.
• 30:47
  Speaker 4: Intention of being able to just like shove it in
• 30:51
  Speaker 4: his face that he's too sensitive and needs to get
• 30:55
  Speaker 4: over his passing.
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 30:57
  Speaker 4: I was so shocked by how insensitive his comment was,
• 31:01
  Speaker 4: it made me so mad that I immediately replied, well,
• 31:04
  Speaker 4: it's been 17 years since your parents got divorced.
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: Get over it.
• 31:09
  Speaker 5: Boom!
• 31:09
  Speaker 1: Never been so proud. That was amazing. Great job, OP.
• 31:13
  Speaker 4: Shoot. Period.
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: Period. The moment I said it, I regretted it.
• 31:18
  Speaker 5: No, no, you didn't. You had that in your back pocket.
• 31:22
  Speaker 5: You were ready.
• 31:23
  Speaker 4: It was a cruel thing to say, and I can't
• 31:25
  Speaker 4: forgive myself for stooping to that level.
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: I wasn't raised to treat people like that.
• 31:30
  Speaker 4: His face immediately turned red, and he walked away without
• 31:33
  Speaker 4: saying a word. He hasn't contacted me since. I honestly
• 31:37
  Speaker 4: don't know what to do. Am I the a-hole in
• 31:39
  Speaker 4: this situation? How can I apologize? What should I even say?
• 31:43
  Speaker 1: I mean, okay. Whatever. Objectively, whatever. Sure. It was like
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: a mean thing to say.
• 31:51
  Speaker 6: Whatever.
• 31:52
  Speaker 4: But it was like the perfect comeback to what the
• 31:56
  Speaker 4: crazy thing that he just said.
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: Because, hey, mister, your parents are still alive. I feel
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: like divorce is like.
• 32:01
  Speaker 6: They still have a chance to get back together.
• 32:03
  Speaker 1: It's still a tough thing to, what did you say?
• 32:05
  Speaker 6: They still have a chance to get back together.
• 32:06
  Speaker 1: It does happen sometimes, believe it or not. But sometimes
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: it like, divorce is a little bit.
• 32:14
  Speaker 5: Oh, really?
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: On the hierarchy of grief, I would say that a
• 32:18
  Speaker 1: parent's passing is higher than divorce. You know what?
• 32:21
  Speaker 6: I disagree with you on that one.
• 32:23
  Speaker 1: Please tell me how.
• 32:24
  Speaker 6: We got married and we got divorced.
• 32:26
  Speaker 7: I feel like a divorce is worse than a passing
• 32:29
  Speaker 7: because you're still alive, but yet we're not together anymore.
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: So if I died, you wouldn't be as sad?
• 32:35
  Speaker 7: Peace. I would be sad, but the thought of, oh,
• 32:39
  Speaker 7: she's still out there and I can talk to her,
• 32:41
  Speaker 7: but I can't because we're divorced, kills me.
• 32:44
  Speaker 6: But it also kills me that you're gone for.
• 32:46
  Speaker 1: It is still tough, that's for sure, but I would say.
• 32:49
  Speaker 6: It's like an insane bucket.
• 32:51
  Speaker 5: Listen, I'll say divorce was good for my parents.
• 32:54
  Speaker 6: Yeah, but it might not be for someone that's madly
• 32:56
  Speaker 6: in love with their wife.
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: Okay, here's what it is, though. It's not him getting divorced,
• 33:01
  Speaker 1: it's his parents.
• 33:02
  Speaker 6: Oh, okay, agreed.
• 33:02
  Speaker 1: At the end of the day, sure, was it a
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: mean thing to say? Yeah.
• 33:06
  Speaker 4: But listen, he also said something mean, so it's like, boom.
• 33:09
  Speaker 1: Boom, we're even.
• 33:10
  Speaker 4: But an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind. Yeah,
• 33:13
  Speaker 4: I mean, you definitely shouldn't aim to get revenge, but
• 33:16
  Speaker 4: now that it's done, it's like, well, whatever.
• 33:19
  Speaker 5: Opie could do the route of, listen, I'm sorry, but
• 33:24
  Speaker 5: you provoked me. You say I can't grieve over my loss.
• 33:28
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 33:29
  Speaker 5: Don't see how it feels when you do this with
• 33:32
  Speaker 5: your loss.
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly.
• 33:33
  Speaker 4: You could totally save it like that, being like, yeah, no,
• 33:35
  Speaker 4: I don't actually think you should get over it. I
• 33:37
  Speaker 4: think that's a crazy thing to say, so I wanted
• 33:40
  Speaker 4: you to feel how it felt.
• 33:41
  Speaker 1: So, whatever. I don't know. He'll be fine. But we
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: do have an edit. Edit number one.
• 33:49
  Speaker 4: I'd like to clarify a few things. My friend wasn't
• 33:51
  Speaker 4: abandoned by his mom. She's still actively involved in his life.
• 33:55
  Speaker 4: It's just that she lives in another state.
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: But they do text and call all the time. Oh
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: my gosh.
• 34:00
  Speaker 5: Then whatever he was complaining about, I think it's the
• 34:04
  Speaker 5: excuse card. Like the get out of jail free card
• 34:06
  Speaker 5: that he just likes to overuse. Of like, my parents
• 34:09
  Speaker 5: are divorced. I get to complain about this. And you
• 34:11
  Speaker 5: know what? I'm sensitive.
• 34:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's like, well, maybe look at half the population.
• 34:17
  Speaker 1: Half of the people are divorced.
• 34:19
  Speaker 5: Yeah, you don't get a special card to pull out
• 34:22
  Speaker 5: and be like, ha ha, grow up. Yeah, it's traumatic. Yeah,
• 34:25
  Speaker 5: it sucked. Guess what? You still have both your parents.
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 34:28
  Speaker 6: Maybe we just need to spread grace, both parties.
• 34:32
  Speaker 5: Riley, I broke my arm when I was an eight-year-old.
• 34:35
  Speaker 6: Okay.
• 34:36
  Speaker 5: You don't see me crying about it. Or my parents
• 34:38
  Speaker 5: got divorced. You don't see me going- Aw, you have
• 34:41
  Speaker 5: a happy family?
• 34:42
  Speaker 7: He said this in a place of hurt. Sometimes you
• 34:44
  Speaker 7: gotta give that love. Then he can overcome that. If
• 34:47
  Speaker 7: you meet hate with love, love will always win.
• 34:50
  Speaker 6: Over time.
• 34:51
  Speaker 5: You're the turkey.
• 34:53
  Speaker 1: Too smart.
• 34:54
  Speaker 6: Also, I'm 6'1.
• 34:55
  Speaker 1: Too mature.
• 34:56
  Speaker 6: I'm dating you.
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: Sounds great to me. Back to what OP is saying.
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: I've met her once.
• 35:02
  Speaker 4: She's a very nice lady. He didn't ask me not
• 35:05
  Speaker 4: to mention the word mom. It's just that he talked
• 35:08
  Speaker 4: once about how it hurts him when others mention their
• 35:10
  Speaker 4: mothers because he grieves the fact that he didn't grow
• 35:13
  Speaker 4: up with her. I just avoid mentioning my mom because.
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: I don't want to hurt him. I don't know. Maybe
• 35:18
  Speaker 1: I'm overthinking it. But I noticed once that he felt down.
• 35:22
  Speaker 4: Edit number two. A lot of you suggested to cut
• 35:25
  Speaker 4: him off. I would have considered this if we were
• 35:28
  Speaker 4: only classmates.
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: But here's the thing.
• 35:30
  Speaker 4: We're together in the same learning community. In my med school,
• 35:33
  Speaker 4: a learning community is where a group of students basically
• 35:36
  Speaker 4: sticks together for the entire semester. That means that next year,
• 35:39
  Speaker 4: I'll be doing rotations and group projects with him, etc.
• 35:44
  Speaker 4: So it'd be hard to just cut him off, as
• 35:47
  Speaker 4: we'll have to communicate at some point.
• 35:50
  Speaker 1: And that's the end of the story! Alright, what's he doing?
• 35:52
  Speaker 1: What's our plan for this guy? For OP? Is he
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: cutting him off? Is he responding? Is he.
• 35:59
  Speaker 4: doing violence you think you'd cut him off even after
• 36:03
  Speaker 4: how hard it would be to actually do that.
• 36:05
  Speaker 7: If i'm grieving and daniel came up to me he
• 36:08
  Speaker 7: says something like this think about what daniel's thinking about
• 36:11
  Speaker 7: me he's not around me yeah.
• 36:14
  Speaker 4: I mean obviously i feel like the obvious answer is
• 36:17
  Speaker 4: to talk to him about it that is just the
• 36:19
  Speaker 4: answer for like pretty much all these things here.
• 36:22
  Speaker 6: Spread love i don't know why are they just not
• 36:24
  Speaker 6: understanding it's.
• 36:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah, just talk. Hey, man, my bad.
• 36:28
  Speaker 4: Didn't mean to hurt you like that. I understand if
• 36:30
  Speaker 4: that's still hard for you.
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: But can you understand that that was a not cool
• 36:34
  Speaker 1: thing to say?
• 36:34
  Speaker 6: Daniel's dad has passed away. He passed away at a
• 36:37
  Speaker 6: very young age. Oh, really? I would never in a
• 36:39
  Speaker 6: million years say that to him. I had a good friend.
• 36:41
  Speaker 5: Yes.
• 36:42
  Speaker 6: Not a real friend.
• 36:43
  Speaker 7: And someone has said some messed up stuff to Daniel,
• 36:45
  Speaker 7: not about his dad, but about who he is as
• 36:46
  Speaker 7: a person.
• 36:47
  Speaker 6: You can't keep those kind of people around you.
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: You can't. I think the relationship maybe forever changed.
• 36:53
  Speaker 4: But I think not talking about it, especially when you
• 36:56
  Speaker 4: have to interact so much with school, is not the
• 36:59
  Speaker 4: way to go because it's just so awkward, man.
• 37:02
  Speaker 6: You know, and you cut them off. Yeah, your name.
• 37:04
  Speaker 5: See, my friends know me. So, like, there are drabs,
• 37:06
  Speaker 5: so you can cross a line. And you're like, okay,
• 37:09
  Speaker 5: that was pretty rough, but, like, don't ever do that again.
• 37:10
  Speaker 5: But if you keep doing it, I'm cutting you off
• 37:13
  Speaker 5: kind of thing.
• 37:13
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 37:14
  Speaker 5: You know your friends. You know, like, their humor, like,
• 37:16
  Speaker 5: their style. You know what you can say, what you
• 37:18
  Speaker 5: can't say. So if my friends, like, did make fun
• 37:20
  Speaker 5: of me for, like, my parents' divorce, I'd be like, okay, cool.
• 37:23
  Speaker 5: But like if I'm uncomfortable, don't do it again. And
• 37:25
  Speaker 5: it seems like it made Opie uncomfortable.
• 37:27
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 37:27
  Speaker 1: Has anyone done that again after you talked to them?
• 37:30
  Speaker 2: No, no, no.
• 37:31
  Speaker 5: They know. It's like, all right, you get like one
• 37:33
  Speaker 5: and you know you messed up.
• 37:35
  Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah.
• 37:35
  Speaker 5: Just apologize and move on. I think talk to them.
• 37:38
  Speaker 5: But if they continue to, you know, negate your emotions
• 37:42
  Speaker 5: and say you aren't allowed to feel that kind of
• 37:44
  Speaker 5: way about something that's really important to you, especially like
• 37:48
  Speaker 5: a parent passing away. Yeah.
• 37:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 37:51
  Speaker 5: Obviously, you are not empathetic enough or you're not my
• 37:53
  Speaker 5: friend to know that's not cool.
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: Right. Agreed. Absolutely.
• 37:58
  Speaker 6: Let's see that story.
• 37:59
  Speaker 2: Hey, it's Dakota, your favorite host who's always on track here.
• 38:03
  Speaker 2: And we're going to get back to the stories in
• 38:05
  Speaker 2: three minutes after these ads from our sponsors.
• 38:08
  Speaker 3: My friends ignored me while I worked for them, then
• 38:11
  Speaker 3: blamed me months later. Doing a bad job? I, 28 male,
• 38:15
  Speaker 3: work professionally in the film industry. On smaller productions, I
• 38:18
  Speaker 3: work as a DP, cinematographer. camera assistant, and editor.
• 38:22
  Speaker 6: Wow, sounds like Christian.
• 38:24
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 38:25
  Speaker 3: On larger productions like A-list music videos and national commercials,
• 38:29
  Speaker 3: ooh la la, I'm.
• 38:31
  Speaker 1: Usually a PA.
• 38:33
  Speaker 3: Work has been painfully slow lately, so when someone I
• 38:35
  Speaker 3: know from my synagogue offered me $ 300 to edit his
• 38:41
  Speaker 3: 16mm student film, I took it.
• 38:44
  Speaker 1: No. No. Oh boy.
• 38:46
  Speaker 6: I used to edit. That is not worth it.
• 38:48
  Speaker 1: No, yeah.
• 38:49
  Speaker 3: That's way below what I'd normally charge, but I needed
• 38:51
  Speaker 3: the money. When he first dropped off the hard drive
• 38:54
  Speaker 3: with the footage, I immediately realized it was the only
• 38:57
  Speaker 3: copy of everything they had shot.
• 39:00
  Speaker 2: Oh no.
• 39:01
  Speaker 1: Scary.
• 39:02
  Speaker 3: I handed the drive right back and told him I
• 39:04
  Speaker 3: wasn't touching it until he made backups. There was no
• 39:07
  Speaker 3: way I was going to be responsible of the drive
• 39:10
  Speaker 3: if it became corrupted and the only copy of the
• 39:13
  Speaker 3: footage was lost.
• 39:14
  Speaker 6: That does happen.
• 39:15
  Speaker 5: Yep.
• 39:16
  Speaker 1: Very easily.
• 39:17
  Speaker 6: For footage, you need it in three places. You need
• 39:20
  Speaker 6: it stored in three places and in two places. Yeah.
• 39:23
  Speaker 6: So on the cloud and then three on your SD card,
• 39:26
  Speaker 6: a hard drive.
• 39:26
  Speaker 1: We do that. We do that. That's good.
• 39:29
  Speaker 3: He eventually backed everything up onto two more drives and
• 39:32
  Speaker 3: brought it back.
• 39:34
  Speaker 6: Problem solved.
• 39:35
  Speaker 3: I could tell he was annoyed, but too bad. I
• 39:38
  Speaker 3: keep my workflow as professional as possible. As I started
• 39:41
  Speaker 3: organizing the footage, I realized things were a mess. There
• 39:45
  Speaker 3: were multiple scenes with problems. Some scenes had never been shot.
• 39:49
  Speaker 3: In other scenes, entire pieces of dialogue had never been filmed.
• 39:53
  Speaker 3: Others were missing audio altogether. Several shots had no usable slate.
• 39:57
  Speaker 3: The clapperboard at the beginning of a take that tells
• 39:59
  Speaker 3: the editor what scene and take they're looking at so
• 40:02
  Speaker 3: the video can be matched with the right audio.
• 40:04
  Speaker 6: Dude, this is on you. This is student film. They
• 40:07
  Speaker 6: don't know what they're doing.
• 40:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you took $ 300 from a student. Who said, this
• 40:12
  Speaker 1: is my first film. Take it. Here you go. Who
• 40:14
  Speaker 1: didn't even know that he had to back up the footage.
• 40:16
  Speaker 6: Going from coaching an NBA team.
• 40:18
  Speaker 8: Yeah.
• 40:19
  Speaker 6: To a middle school team.
• 40:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 40:20
  Speaker 3: And you're like, why don't these middle schoolers know how
• 40:22
  Speaker 3: to play basketball?
• 40:23
  Speaker 6: Why is he not dunking?
• 40:24
  Speaker 1: Dunk, kid. Dunk.
• 40:26
  Speaker 6: Just dunk.
• 40:27
  Speaker 1: God.
• 40:29
  Speaker 3: Specifically, the slate was out of frame often or so
• 40:32
  Speaker 3: out of focus that it was impossible to read.
• 40:34
  Speaker 6: Ditch.
• 40:36
  Speaker 1: Get good.
• 40:36
  Speaker 6: Dude, yes.
• 40:37
  Speaker 1: Get good.
• 40:38
  Speaker 6: Exactly.
• 40:39
  Speaker 3: Some scenes were mislabeled, didn't match the script, or couldn't
• 40:43
  Speaker 3: be identified at all.
• 40:45
  Speaker 6: Dude, no.
• 40:46
  Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from OKTour4632, and if you
• 40:49
  Speaker 3: want to submit your own stories, go to the r
• 40:51
  Speaker 3: slash OKStoryTime subreddit.
• 40:53
  Speaker 1: I'm Sophia.
• 40:54
  Speaker 6: I'm Riley.
• 40:55
  Speaker 1: And I'm Savannah. And we're here to give good advice, Goofily.
• 40:59
  Speaker 3: Well, we don't have all the answers. We're just three
• 41:02
  Speaker 3: little lads. So if you're a fourth little lad and
• 41:04
  Speaker 3: you've got answers.
• 41:06
  Speaker 1: Put them down below.
• 41:07
  Speaker 3: OP says, at one point, because there were no readable
• 41:10
  Speaker 3: slates for some shots, the director asked me to lip
• 41:13
  Speaker 3: read the actors and match the footage to random audio files.
• 41:17
  Speaker 6: Oh, now you want to be a voice actor?
• 41:18
  Speaker 3: I'm going to be so for real. It's not that hard.
• 41:22
  Speaker 1: I had to do that.
• 41:23
  Speaker 3: We've been editing all of our shots and we don't
• 41:25
  Speaker 3: know how to be organized yet. And I did have
• 41:28
  Speaker 3: to just match my audio file to my lips. It
• 41:31
  Speaker 3: was not that hard.
• 41:32
  Speaker 1: Really? Yeah.
• 41:33
  Speaker 6: But he has to do different pitches, different people he's
• 41:36
  Speaker 6: never really heard of.
• 41:38
  Speaker 1: That's true.
• 41:38
  Speaker 3: I think you could kind of, I mean, I guess
• 41:40
  Speaker 3: I was operating with, it had its own audio built
• 41:44
  Speaker 3: in and I was just matching it.
• 41:46
  Speaker 6: Ah, I see, I see.
• 41:47
  Speaker 1: So it's completely silent?
• 41:48
  Speaker 6: Yeah, that's weird.
• 41:49
  Speaker 1: That's different.
• 41:50
  Speaker 7: He's coming from, everything's already organized and I just have
• 41:52
  Speaker 7: to edit and now you're having to do a lot of.
• 41:54
  Speaker 1: No.
• 41:55
  Speaker 6: Organization.
• 41:55
  Speaker 3: It's so fair that Opie's like, this is so much
• 41:58
  Speaker 3: more work than I anticipated. But also, it makes so
• 42:01
  Speaker 3: much sense why it is not organized at all.
• 42:04
  Speaker 6: You shouldn't have done this, bro.
• 42:06
  Speaker 1: And short film, we're doing like maybe two minutes. Short film,
• 42:09
  Speaker 1: I mean. Yeah, it's long. I'm guessing it's over like 15.
• 42:13
  Speaker 7: Imagine every video that you make and that's one scene.
• 42:17
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 42:18
  Speaker 3: To be clear, this is a nightmare, but it's a
• 42:20
  Speaker 3: nightmare that he accepted for $ 300.
• 42:21
  Speaker 1: For $ 300?
• 42:22
  Speaker 3: You're stupid! I refused because there were literally hundreds of
• 42:26
  Speaker 3: video and audio files, and without proper slates, there was
• 42:29
  Speaker 3: no realistic way to know.
• 42:31
  Speaker 1: What matched what.
• 42:31
  Speaker 6: Oh my gosh.
• 42:32
  Speaker 3: It would have been pure guesswork. Lip reading would have
• 42:34
  Speaker 3: also been too time-consuming for what he was paying me,
• 42:37
  Speaker 3: and he was out of money.
• 42:39
  Speaker 7: Dude, literally read the script and figure it out as
• 42:42
  Speaker 7: you go. He's too dependent on the system.
• 42:44
  Speaker 1: Honestly, yeah.
• 42:46
  Speaker 3: I also found out I was the first person to
• 42:48
  Speaker 3: actually watch the footage after it came back digitized from
• 42:52
  Speaker 3: the film lab. Nobody had reviewed it before.
• 42:54
  Speaker 1: Handing it to me.
• 42:55
  Speaker 3: So I was the only one discovering all these issues
• 42:58
  Speaker 3: for the first time.
• 42:59
  Speaker 1: Because you're the editor.
• 43:01
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 43:01
  Speaker 1: That's what the editor does.
• 43:03
  Speaker 6: I'm sorry.
• 43:03
  Speaker 7: This is really close to home because I went to
• 43:05
  Speaker 7: school for filming and I edited for a pretty good
• 43:08
  Speaker 7: five years of my life.
• 43:09
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 43:10
  Speaker 1: You kind of figure all that out.
• 43:11
  Speaker 6: Dude, I can't with this guy. You're the problem.
• 43:14
  Speaker 3: As I worked, I documented everything. Every time I found
• 43:17
  Speaker 3: a problem, I emailed or texted the director. I synced
• 43:20
  Speaker 3: everything that could be synced, assembled the best cut possible
• 43:23
  Speaker 3: with what I had, and wrote a detailed post-production report
• 43:26
  Speaker 3: explaining every missing scene, every missing audio file, every labeling issue,
• 43:31
  Speaker 3: and everything that needed to be fixed before the film
• 43:33
  Speaker 3: could actually be finished. Honestly, for $ 300, I feel like
• 43:37
  Speaker 3: I went way beyond expectations.
• 43:39
  Speaker 6: Yeah, that's like a thousand dollar project.
• 43:41
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 43:41
  Speaker 3: I delivered the edit I was able to put together,
• 43:44
  Speaker 3: sent him the report, explained there was nothing more I
• 43:46
  Speaker 3: could do unless they found the missing audio, identified the
• 43:49
  Speaker 3: mystery footage, or reshot the missing scenes. And then I
• 43:53
  Speaker 3: didn't hear another word for four months.
• 43:54
  Speaker 7: That's how it goes, man. I shot a student film.
• 43:57
  Speaker 7: I added one shot of it, one take of it.
• 43:59
  Speaker 7: I guess like the first iteration.
• 44:01
  Speaker 6: It didn't touch it again.
• 44:03
  Speaker 3: I was in a student film and I never saw it.
• 44:05
  Speaker 6: That's how it goes, man. I was in a student
• 44:07
  Speaker 6: film too and I didn't watch it because I was
• 44:09
  Speaker 6: the bad guy in it.
• 44:10
  Speaker 1: Oh, I never saw it.
• 44:12
  Speaker 3: Because I don't know if they finished it.
• 44:14
  Speaker 1: Dang, mine was horror and I got killed. Aw. I
• 44:17
  Speaker 1: was the smart one.
• 44:18
  Speaker 4: Aw.
• 44:19
  Speaker 3: After delivering the work I could do, I would sometimes
• 44:22
  Speaker 3: see the director at synagogue. He stopped acknowledging me, which
• 44:26
  Speaker 3: I thought was weird, but maybe just a sign of embarrassment.
• 44:28
  Speaker 6: Because you took his $ 300.
• 44:29
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and he was like, you didn't even finish the job.
• 44:33
  Speaker 3: I wasn't judgmental at first. They were big mistakes, but
• 44:36
  Speaker 3: I've done my share of poorly made films and videos
• 44:39
  Speaker 3: in my earlier years. so I didn't think any less
• 44:42
  Speaker 3: of him. Then, months later, out of nowhere, he called me.
• 44:46
  Speaker 3: He said he wasn't happy with my work. He told
• 44:48
  Speaker 3: me I'd done the bare minimum and that I could
• 44:50
  Speaker 3: have done better, accused me of never communicating any of
• 44:53
  Speaker 3: these problems, and then told me I had ruined the
• 44:56
  Speaker 3: film and his plans to have it ready in time
• 44:58
  Speaker 3: for a festival.
• 44:59
  Speaker 1: Goodness gracious.
• 44:59
  Speaker 6: I think he's looking to blame somebody.
• 45:02
  Speaker 3: Yeah, he also said he'd spent $ 10, 000 of his parents'
• 45:06
  Speaker 3: money making the film and that my editing had... Basically
• 45:10
  Speaker 3: made all of that money and effort for nothing.
• 45:12
  Speaker 6: Dude, you should have got a better editor.
• 45:14
  Speaker 3: Yeah, dude, you should have paid for a better editor.
• 45:17
  Speaker 3: It probably would have been about.
• 45:18
  Speaker 1: $ 10, 000. Your parents' money?
• 45:21
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 45:22
  Speaker 3: I reminded him about all the emails, texts, and my
• 45:25
  Speaker 3: post-production report. He insisted I hadn't communicated and said his
• 45:29
  Speaker 3: DP agreed that I didn't work hard enough.
• 45:31
  Speaker 6: Dude, your DP did a bad job, too.
• 45:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah, your DP did a terrible job.
• 45:35
  Speaker 6: How much did you pay your DP?
• 45:36
  Speaker 3: Nothing.
• 45:37
  Speaker 1: Pennies.
• 45:38
  Speaker 3: This is when I lost my temper and added the
• 45:40
  Speaker 3: TP to the call because I felt strongly both these
• 45:43
  Speaker 3: young men needed a reality check. I started yelling and
• 45:46
  Speaker 3: really laid into them. I asked if they were blind
• 45:50
  Speaker 3: because that's the only way someone could possibly shoot slates
• 45:53
  Speaker 3: that were out of frame or so out of focus
• 45:55
  Speaker 3: they were completely unreadable, lose audio, not film dialogue without realizing,
• 46:00
  Speaker 3: and all the other problems.
• 46:01
  Speaker 6: Dude, you need to walk away.
• 46:02
  Speaker 1: Stop. Yeah, if you should just be like, give me
• 46:04
  Speaker 1: my 300 bucks and let me go. I'm never working
• 46:06
  Speaker 1: with y'all. Are you blind?
• 46:08
  Speaker 3: I also brought up that the main hero character the
• 46:10
  Speaker 3: director wrote was a creep, and I questioned their morals.
• 46:14
  Speaker 3: I asked them how they could fail to shoot entire scenes,
• 46:17
  Speaker 3: leave dialogue unfilmed, lose audio, not notice missing or unreadable slates,
• 46:22
  Speaker 3: and then somehow blame the editor for it months later.
• 46:25
  Speaker 6: Because it's the editor's job to put it all together. Yeah.
• 46:29
  Speaker 6: The editor position... It's crazy how much power the editor has.
• 46:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 46:34
  Speaker 3: I mean, like, like that's why in a, in film,
• 46:37
  Speaker 3: you know, in the Oscar, you know, whenever we have
• 46:39
  Speaker 3: like the Oscars and the award stuff, like people always
• 46:42
  Speaker 3: talk about like, oh yeah, you really don't see it.
• 46:46
  Speaker 1: Like the movie does.
• 46:46
  Speaker 3: Not come together until the editor gets it. Someone was
• 46:50
  Speaker 3: saying like, oh, the guy, this one like male director
• 46:54
  Speaker 3: was talking about how he just kind of shoots whatever
• 46:57
  Speaker 3: he wants and And then the editor comes in and goes, okay, well,
• 47:00
  Speaker 3: here's the story.
• 47:01
  Speaker 6: Have you ever seen The Social Network?
• 47:03
  Speaker 7: It's a very popular movie about Facebook. The first scene
• 47:06
  Speaker 7: that they shot, they took 147 takes because the director
• 47:11
  Speaker 7: wasn't happy with it. And the editor had to go
• 47:13
  Speaker 7: through all of those and pick the best one.
• 47:15
  Speaker 1: Sounds like Tennessee Williams if you read any of his plays.
• 47:19
  Speaker 1: And there's no wiggle room for any stage direction because
• 47:22
  Speaker 1: he writes every single thing each actor should do. That's funny.
• 47:26
  Speaker 3: I've never done a Tennessee Williams play.
• 47:29
  Speaker 1: I have never done it, but I read them.
• 47:31
  Speaker 3: I told them no editor on earth can create footage
• 47:34
  Speaker 3: that was never filmed or sync audio that doesn't exist.
• 47:37
  Speaker 3: While I was saying all this, I started sending screenshots
• 47:40
  Speaker 3: of every email, every text, and the entire post-production report
• 47:44
  Speaker 3: I'd sent them months earlier. About halfway through the call,
• 47:47
  Speaker 3: both of them started crying. Once they saw the documentation,
• 47:51
  Speaker 3: the director immediately threw the DP under the bus. He
• 47:54
  Speaker 3: admitted the DP had actually been the one blaming me
• 47:56
  Speaker 3: from the beginning, and the DP confirmed that was true.
• 48:00
  Speaker 1: That honestly made me even angrier.
• 48:01
  Speaker 6: Dude, just say it was bad.
• 48:03
  Speaker 1: Oh, boy.
• 48:04
  Speaker 6: And walk away.
• 48:05
  Speaker 1: Oh, boy.
• 48:06
  Speaker 3: I demanded an apology for blaming me for the problems
• 48:09
  Speaker 3: that were already there before I even opened the project.
• 48:13
  Speaker 1: Aye, aye, aye.
• 48:15
  Speaker 3: What a piece of work this was, OP.
• 48:18
  Speaker 7: At first, him getting to these young men about this
• 48:21
  Speaker 7: film project, I was like, no, you shouldn't do it.
• 48:24
  Speaker 6: But now, I'm glad you did.
• 48:25
  Speaker 1: Me too.
• 48:26
  Speaker 6: I'm glad you got these guys in check.
• 48:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, they needed to learn.
• 48:29
  Speaker 3: They need to learn if they want to be filmers
• 48:32
  Speaker 3: and directors.
• 48:33
  Speaker 6: Film bros.
• 48:34
  Speaker 3: Film bros. Because right now, they're just film infants. They're
• 48:38
  Speaker 3: film babies.
• 48:39
  Speaker 1: They don't have what it takes yet.
• 48:40
  Speaker 6: I try to stay away from film bros.
• 48:43
  Speaker 1: That's fair.
• 48:44
  Speaker 6: They're the equivalent of the creepy theater girls.
• 48:47
  Speaker 1: That's fair. But we got a little bit left.
• 48:49
  Speaker 3: OP, don't accept jobs for $ 300 from students who don't
• 48:55
  Speaker 3: really know what they're doing.
• 48:56
  Speaker 7: I accepted a wedding video for $ 300 to edit.
• 48:59
  Speaker 6: And the bride got mad because they didn't record the vows.
• 49:02
  Speaker 6: I was like, dude, that sucks.
• 49:03
  Speaker 1: How is that your fault? I didn't record it. I
• 49:06
  Speaker 1: say I do. Yeah, you're supposed to. You're supposed to
• 49:10
  Speaker 1: step in there. You're supposed to recreate that moment. You
• 49:13
  Speaker 1: can do... Wait, like, have you ever watched the Amanda
• 49:15
  Speaker 1: show when they have block blister? Instead of block.
• 49:18
  Speaker 6: Oh, my God.
• 49:18
  Speaker 1: And they... She goes... I rented the Titanic and then
• 49:21
  Speaker 1: they watch it and it's like the two people who
• 49:23
  Speaker 1: work there just reenacting it like oh no the boat
• 49:27
  Speaker 1: is sinking ouch ouch Jack.
• 49:30
  Speaker 8: Help yes and Riley does that but with the wedding
• 49:33
  Speaker 8: yes and he goes I do and then he so
• 49:35
  Speaker 8: he shifts over I also do and then he's the
• 49:38
  Speaker 8: priest And you guys can kiss now.
• 49:41
  Speaker 1: And then it's just him going.
• 49:43
  Speaker 7: Voice over me making out with myself.
• 49:48
  Speaker 1: Looking back, OP continues. I know I lost my cool.
• 49:52
  Speaker 3: I've spent years getting yelled at, belittled, and treated like
• 49:54
  Speaker 3: crap by people higher up than me on professional film sets.
• 49:58
  Speaker 3: It's not right, but it's common. I think what pushed
• 50:01
  Speaker 3: me over the edge was being blamed for someone else's mistakes.
• 50:04
  Speaker 3: by a director and a DP who had never even
• 50:07
  Speaker 3: worked on a professional set before. Now, I've heard through
• 50:11
  Speaker 3: mutual friends and members of my synagogue that people are
• 50:14
  Speaker 3: saying I'm a hot-headed a-hole who screams at people, including
• 50:18
  Speaker 3: younger film students. I know the ruined film isn't my fault.
• 50:22
  Speaker 3: I know I was handed footage with major production problems
• 50:25
  Speaker 3: and did everything I could with it. But I also
• 50:29
  Speaker 3: know I completely lost my temper when they blame me. Again,
• 50:33
  Speaker 3: this kind of goes into Dakota's silly baby. These are
• 50:36
  Speaker 3: little babies.
• 50:37
  Speaker 1: These are little babies who go, but why did my
• 50:40
  Speaker 1: film turn out right?
• 50:41
  Speaker 3: And you go, dude, I'm just the editor. I worked
• 50:45
  Speaker 3: with what you had. You didn't have anything.
• 50:47
  Speaker 7: You should be glad I even had anything out of it.
• 50:49
  Speaker 7: Someone asked what the DP is. The DP is the
• 50:53
  Speaker 7: director of photography. So it's like the director's right-hand man.
• 50:56
  Speaker 7: Director says, I want the shot to kind of look
• 50:58
  Speaker 7: like this. And they make the shot look as incredible
• 51:00
  Speaker 7: as possible.
• 51:01
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 51:02
  Speaker 1: Clearly that did not happen. Didn't happen. Well, that's actually
• 51:05
  Speaker 1: the end of the episode.
• 51:06
  Speaker 6: So if you love us, make sure to subscribe.
• 51:08
  Speaker 1: We love you. And see you tomorrow.