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#HURDLEMOMENT: Expert-Backed Tips To Deal With Burnout That Really Work · Hurdle with Emily Abbate

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Your body is telling you this feels like crap. It's
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: maybe because this isn't good for you. It's maybe because
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: a change is needed when that is possible, right if
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: it is within your capacity to change it. That's the
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: message from your body.
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: What is going on? Everyone? Emily A body here.
• 0:35
  Speaker 3: You are listening to another installment of hurt A moment
• 0:39
  Speaker 3: from Hurdle. Your girl is back from a beautiful, beautiful,
• 0:44
  Speaker 3: beautiful week in Cabo San Lucas. I can't believe I'd
• 0:49
  Speaker 3: never been to Mexico before, and honestly, it was just
• 0:51
  Speaker 3: so so needed, specifically because of the topic that we're
• 0:57
  Speaker 3: getting into today on the show, with which is burnout.
• 1:01
  Speaker 3: I myself was certainly certainly starting to feel a little
• 1:06
  Speaker 3: bit of this, and so I was really grateful to
• 1:08
  Speaker 3: be able to log off for the most part, travel
• 1:11
  Speaker 3: without an international data plan, and spend some time Sam's phone,
• 1:16
  Speaker 3: taking a deep breath and coming back to me. So
• 1:21
  Speaker 3: I wanted to chat about burnout on the show today,
• 1:24
  Speaker 3: and to do so, I am bringing in an expert.
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  Speaker 3: Her name is Victoria Albina. She is a certified life coach,
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  Speaker 3: among many things, and the perfect person to be chatting
• 1:36
  Speaker 3: about this topic with and we'll address exactly why. In
• 1:39
  Speaker 3: the beginning of today's episode, we talk about what burnout is,
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  Speaker 3: we give it a definition of sorts. We also identify
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  Speaker 3: how you know it's happening to you, the signs of it,
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  Speaker 3: and the tricks and tips that you can walk away
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  Speaker 3: with to navigate burnout on your own. What I love
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  Speaker 3: about Victoria's a perch is that she has done so
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  Speaker 3: much extensive research on this topic, a lot of which
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  Speaker 3: she cites in our discussion today, and she's just got
• 2:09
  Speaker 3: this really great way of explaining things that makes you
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  Speaker 3: feel like you're not alone in what you're going through,
• 2:17
  Speaker 3: and that, as you know, is a big part of
• 2:19
  Speaker 3: my mission here over on Hurdle. She also talks about
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  Speaker 3: her three a's, which are super helpful, and the importance
• 2:27
  Speaker 3: of self talk and how we speak to ourselves and
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  Speaker 3: being realistic about what we're saying to ourselves.
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: So so, so much goodness in this episode, and I'm
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: really excited to bring it to the feed.
• 2:39
  Speaker 3: Before I get into it today, I do want to
• 2:41
  Speaker 3: make sure that I call out one more time. Another
• 2:44
  Speaker 3: Journal Conquered Challenge is well underway. We are on day
• 2:48
  Speaker 3: two today, Wednesday, July fourteenth, and it's not too late
• 2:53
  Speaker 3: for you to get in on the action. If you
• 2:54
  Speaker 3: want to join us journaling three times a week together
• 2:57
  Speaker 3: for the next month, we'd love to have use Simply
• 3:00
  Speaker 3: click on over to the show notes and click the
• 3:03
  Speaker 3: link that will take you to the weekly Hurdle newsletter.
• 3:05
  Speaker 3: Become a paid subscriber and you'll get journaling prompts in
• 3:09
  Speaker 3: your inbox at Emily Body at Hurdle Podcast and also
• 3:13
  Speaker 3: Last Call Out book Club This coming Monday, July nineteenth,
• 3:17
  Speaker 3: for reading Green Lights by Matthew McConaughey. We'll be having
• 3:20
  Speaker 3: a discussion at eight pm Eastern, and I would love
• 3:23
  Speaker 3: to have you join in. The link to do that
• 3:25
  Speaker 3: is in the show notes. Okay, okay, I promise. I
• 3:29
  Speaker 3: am done now with that. Let's get to hurdling.
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: Today.
• 3:46
  Speaker 3: I'm sitting down with Victoria Albina. She's a certified life coach,
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  Speaker 3: and we are here to talk all about burnout.
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  Speaker 1: How you doing, I'm doing so well? How are you?
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  Speaker 3: I'm so good. We were just wrapping this is going
• 4:00
  Speaker 3: to be coming out on Wednesday. We're recording it on Tuesday.
• 4:03
  Speaker 3: I'm fresh back from a trip from Mexico and let
• 4:07
  Speaker 3: me tell you if you want to take a deep
• 4:09
  Speaker 3: exhale on burnout, then heading out to to Cabo San
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  Speaker 3: Lucas isn't a bad way to deal with it.
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  Speaker 1: It's really not.
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  Speaker 3: So before we get into it today, talk to me
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  Speaker 3: a little bit about how you got into life coaching
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  Speaker 3: and why you're the right person for me to be
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  Speaker 3: chatting about this topic with today.
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  Speaker 1: Ooh, I love I love the way you asked that.
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  Speaker 1: So I came into life coaching through a rather a
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: circuitous path. I am a holistic functional medicine nurse practitioner
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: as well, and so I actually came into coaching through medicine.
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  Speaker 1: So I was a primary care provider, worked in the
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: trenches for a hot minute, and then left primary care
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  Speaker 1: to do more holistic medicine. And over the years of
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: working in medicine, I came to see that what was
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: really ailing my patients underneath the actual parasites and actual
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: thyroid problems, right, and like actual physical issues, was trauma, stress,
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: lack of self assurance, issues with self worth. Right, there
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: were all these mental health concerns that came from their
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  Speaker 1: stories about themselves that were showing up in their soma,
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  Speaker 1: in their bodies and so madically the tension patterns they
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: were holding were worsening their symptoms. And of course none
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  Speaker 1: of this is you know, saying they were to blame
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  Speaker 1: for their symptoms. What I'm saying is it was so
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  Speaker 1: much more complex than just looking at a bunch of
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  Speaker 1: labs and doling out supplements or pharmaceuticals, and through that
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  Speaker 1: path of healing myself and seeing because the universe is
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  Speaker 1: amazing my own issues reflected in my patients. I came
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  Speaker 1: to really connect with my own passion for mental health
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: and mental wellness, which lead me led me to eventually
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  Speaker 1: leave medicine and strike out on this other path as
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: a life coach. So I think the issue of burnout
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  Speaker 1: is a complex one. I think we need to throw
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: capitalism under the bus. I think there is not insignificant
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  Speaker 1: evidence right there, there's an evidence base. I'm also I
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  Speaker 1: have masters in public health. I studied epidemiology, so you know,
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  Speaker 1: a NERD's nerd. I think we need to talk about
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  Speaker 1: the nervous system when we talk about burnout, as well
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  Speaker 1: as cognitive behavioral approaches and looking at our thoughts that
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: are part and parcel of burnout. So I think those
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  Speaker 1: are the things that make me a pretty darn great
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  Speaker 1: gal to talk to about this issue.
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  Speaker 3: Well, I appreciate it, And wow, what an amazing resume
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  Speaker 3: here before we, you know, truly truly dive in. I
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  Speaker 3: think the first thing that we should do is define,
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  Speaker 3: if we can, what burnout really is. So what what
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  Speaker 3: would your best definition be?
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  Speaker 1: Hmmm? So I think burnout the way I think about
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  Speaker 1: it is when we're in system overload. Right, So when
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: our our nervous systems are drenals our heart in the
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: largest sense of that, not the cardiovascular sense. Right, when
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  Speaker 1: we have got into a point of overwhelm and exhaustion
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  Speaker 1: that our body is, we are outside what's called the
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: window of tolerance or I like Jane Clapp's words, the
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  Speaker 1: window of bodily dignity, which is the window in which
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  Speaker 1: our nervous system is able to respond to an over excitement,
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  Speaker 1: an overactivity of stimuli, and is able to bring us
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  Speaker 1: back into the safe and social part of our nervous system.
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  Speaker 1: So we get sort of pushed beyond our capacity to
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  Speaker 1: bring ourselves back. I'm thinking, I'm like making accordion hands
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  Speaker 1: with my like, we get pushed beyond our capacity, pushed
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  Speaker 1: beyond push bits, you know, what It's like a rubber band.
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  Speaker 1: You stretch it too far, You stretch it too far,
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  Speaker 1: You stretch it too far, and eventually it just breaks.
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  Speaker 1: And that's sort of what burns is. Yeah, that those
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  Speaker 1: internal capacities, those resources to bring ourselves back into coherence
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  Speaker 1: with self and with environment, we lose our access to them,
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  Speaker 1: our capacity to them. Short term, right, we can, there's
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  Speaker 1: ways to bring ourselves back, but it feels quite out of.
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  Speaker 2: Our grasp, right, right.
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  Speaker 3: And I mean you kind of hinted at some of
• 8:21
  Speaker 3: these before, but there are so many different reasons why
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  Speaker 3: burnout can occur.
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  Speaker 2: So let's address what some of those could be.
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  Speaker 1: You know, I'm always going to start with the fact
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  Speaker 1: that employees are being overworked, right, And so there was
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  Speaker 1: a study I was reading the other day, I believe,
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  Speaker 1: from the Economic Policy Institute, that shows that productivity has
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  Speaker 1: increased somewhere in the twenty percent mark in the last decade,
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  Speaker 1: but wages have only increased less than two percent. And so, right,
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  Speaker 1: employees here in the US, and I'm sure we could
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  Speaker 1: look globally, but within this context, folks are push beyond
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  Speaker 1: their capacities, right They it is being demanded of them
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  Speaker 1: that they work harder, faster, be more productive, produce more
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  Speaker 1: for the for the economy. Then they're being compensated for.
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  Speaker 1: Then they're being given time off for. And so I
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  Speaker 1: think that's a really important driver. And I think we
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  Speaker 1: need to start with late stage capitalism and how dangerous
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  Speaker 1: it is for employees.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that's really important.
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  Speaker 3: I also think sometimes this is, you know, a point
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  Speaker 3: where it's really important to have open and honest conversations,
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  Speaker 3: perhaps with friends, when it comes to capitalism and wages
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  Speaker 3: and how hard you're working versus what you're being compensated for,
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  Speaker 3: because sometimes, you know, we might feel like we're burning out,
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  Speaker 3: but we also feel as though like I should just
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  Speaker 3: suck it up.
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  Speaker 2: I should just suck it up. I should just suck
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  Speaker 2: it up.
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  Speaker 3: But you're entitled to know if you're being paid a
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  Speaker 3: fair wage for the work that you are doing.
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  Speaker 1: Completely agreed, Completely agreed. Yeah, And you know this was
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  Speaker 1: something that I saw you. I worked in primary care
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  Speaker 1: in many places, but one of them was New York City,
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  Speaker 1: and I heard this all the time for my patients,
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  Speaker 1: particularly in their twenties and early thirties, where they literally
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  Speaker 1: didn't have time to exercise, to rest, to see friends
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  Speaker 1: because it was demanded that they be at their job
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  Speaker 1: or jobs to pay for student loans, right for four
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  Speaker 1: hundred hours a day.
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  Speaker 3: You know, yeah, yeah, totally. Obviously we're talking about work
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  Speaker 3: stress being a huge cause for burnout, but it's more
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  Speaker 3: than that, right, What else can be a cause here
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  Speaker 3: for this sort of feeling?
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, So my passion is working with human socialized as
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: women to take a look at codependent, perfectionist and people
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  Speaker 1: pleasing thought habits. I see that that sort of entire
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: category of thinking as coming from the same wounding, the
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  Speaker 1: wounding that says I, I'm not worthy of love, of
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: care of good things. I am not worthy or valuable
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  Speaker 1: as a human animal unless someone else is validating that
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  Speaker 1: back to me, right, unless I'm getting that good girl
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  Speaker 1: from my parents, my boss, my partner, my date, society
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  Speaker 1: at large. And so from that framework, of course you're
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  Speaker 1: going to overwork. Of course you're going to continue to
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  Speaker 1: push yourself. Right that that way of thinking often comes
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  Speaker 1: with all or nothing thinking, black and white thinking, good
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  Speaker 1: and bad thinking. So if you have a job, you're
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: going to work a million hours a day because you
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  Speaker 1: want right, you have that perfectionist loop in your head
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  Speaker 1: that says, do it perfectly or your sense of worthiness
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  Speaker 1: of being alive is actually at stake.
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  Speaker 2: Right, right, And that's no good for anybody.
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, No, no, absolutely not not for not
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: for you, not for your family, not for your loved ones,
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: and also not for your job, because once you burn out,
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: you're lost there too, right.
• 12:05
  Speaker 3: And you mentioned I believe the word perfectionism, which then
• 12:09
  Speaker 3: my head goes toward the highlight reel, which is social media,
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  Speaker 3: which can would also be a huge source for burnout
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  Speaker 3: when we're constantly being surrounded by so much visual simulation
• 12:22
  Speaker 3: and inevitably for many struggling with that comparison trap.
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  Speaker 1: Absolutely, I mean capitalism and white settler colonialism both push
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: our brains towards compare and despair. Right. It is part
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: and parcel of those systems to pit us against each other. Right,
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  Speaker 1: Instead of having a communal way of thinking that when
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  Speaker 1: any of us succeed, this is a success for all, Right,
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  Speaker 1: we've stepped out of that collective consciousness in a lot
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: of ways. And instead, you know, it's ugh, I can't
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  Speaker 1: believe so and so got engaged, ough, so and so
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  Speaker 1: got a raised Ugh, I'm worthless, I'm useless. I don't
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: measure up based. I love that you said highlight reel
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  Speaker 1: because you know what else is social media? Right? It's
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: kind of faith that way. There's not a lot of
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  Speaker 1: pictures of people being like here, I am at the
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  Speaker 1: opposite at two am again and I have to be
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: back at eight because my boss demands it.
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 13:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah, there's not that transparency there very often. The next
• 13:19
  Speaker 3: question that truly arises, though, is what would be the
• 13:23
  Speaker 3: difference between something like burnout versus maybe normal exhaustion or
• 13:28
  Speaker 3: perhaps like a different extreme, which could be depression.
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I mean, I'm trying to think if there's like
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: a clinical diagnostic sort of difference. For me, the difference
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: is really like sort of felt in the gut. Right,
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: so we can talk about how burnout literally alters and
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: changes your brain on a chemical and physiologic level. What
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: I would say is that, uh, you know, exhaustion can
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: be midic with a couple nights good rest, right, with
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: shifts in circadian rhythm, with a trip to Cobbo like
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: you just did. Exhaustion can be sort of handled with
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: things that we may think of as more like cotidian,
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: like really actually putting yourself to bed at nine point thirty,
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: like the sweet tender baby, you are like doing things
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: like that, right, ex.
• 14:22
  Speaker 3: Rat by the way, vernaculine right, Okay, so you said
• 14:30
  Speaker 3: sleep exercise B.
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: Twelve right totally, Yeah, Like those things can help if
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: it's just exhaustion, right, and then, but burnout because of
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: the actual changes in our physiology, it's it's something that's
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: more as an organism, we need more complex support to
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: help our bodies, our minds, our spirits to recover from
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: actual burnout.
• 14:56
  Speaker 3: Obviously, burn out a little bit more of a to
• 14:59
  Speaker 3: do than just dealing with a little bit of exhaustion. So,
• 15:03
  Speaker 3: now as we've covered what burnout is, the difference between
• 15:06
  Speaker 3: perhaps burnout and exhaustion, how does one go about treating burnout?
• 15:13
  Speaker 3: And can you do it on your own or should
• 15:15
  Speaker 3: you always seek out professional assistance?
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: I mean the latter's a challenging one, right because as
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: a licensed health care provider, of course I need to
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: say please visit your primary care provider. And having been
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: a primary care provider, I know that you're not going
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: to get much help there, so I've met my legal
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: and ethical duty, but I also know, like it's where
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: is it going to get you? Right, they're not going
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: to do the complex adrenal testing that a functional medicine
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: or holistic provider might. So if that is within your
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: financial capacity to go to functional medicine, to go to
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: a holistic health care provider, to go to acupuncture, to
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: go to body work, I would recommend those things in
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: addition to talking with a counselor a therapist, a coach, right,
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: someone who is focused on helping you to understand the
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: complexity of what burnout really looks like. And of course
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: let us note the irony here, right, if you're feeling
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: wicked burned out, what's the last thing you wanted to do?
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: Maybe talk about it, yeah, right, or like even hunt
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: for someone, see if they take your insurance, see if
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: you're can afford it, make an appointment, schlep across town,
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: find or find park it. You know, it's I mean,
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: one of the pandemic has been horrifying, of course, particularly
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: for black and brown folk, low income folks. But what's
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: been phenomenal about the pandemic is the shift of telehealth
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: and the fact that now so much more is available
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: from your living room. So I do want to remind
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: folks that maybe the schlep part isn't part of it,
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: so consider maybe that doesn't need to be a barrier
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: to care.
• 16:52
  Speaker 3: And I think it's important for us to recognize that
• 16:54
  Speaker 3: it takes a big person to say, okay, yo, I
• 16:58
  Speaker 3: am not well, I retired, I am bent out, So
• 17:02
  Speaker 3: that like that's step number one, right, and then loving
• 17:05
  Speaker 3: yourself enough perhaps or wanting to give yourself the grace
• 17:09
  Speaker 3: of the compassion that you deserve to then say okay,
• 17:13
  Speaker 3: I am going to take responsibility here and do something
• 17:18
  Speaker 3: about it. Because in the moment that first, you know
• 17:21
  Speaker 3: step like figuring out what you're going to do here,
• 17:23
  Speaker 3: that can certainly be overwhelming. But when you take a
• 17:26
  Speaker 3: step back and you think about the benefits that will
• 17:29
  Speaker 3: come hand in hand with you doing something for yourself,
• 17:32
  Speaker 3: with you getting willing to step outside of that comfort
• 17:35
  Speaker 3: zone and make a change that's going to impact this
• 17:38
  Speaker 3: extreme level of burnout that's so worth it in the
• 17:41
  Speaker 3: long haul.
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: Agreed, And this may sound funny, so stay with me
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: for just a second, because Okay, great God, because my
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: clients for the most part, are coming from this codependent
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: framework in which we put others and their wellness, their joy,
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: their everything ahead of our own working to heal from that. Right,
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: we turn that focus, that spotlight that we've shown on
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: everyone else our whole lives, back on ourselves. And this
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: is actually a place where we can recognize the way
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: burnout impacts the prefrontal cortex, it thins it, the way
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: burnout enlarges the amygdala, which increases moodiness, which reduces our
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: stress response. Right, we can have a big startle response.
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: We effectively step out of our normal functioning brain right
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: the way our brain's previously functioned, and into this altered
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: state of being. From there, accessing that self love story, right,
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: I love me enough to do this? Maybe extra challenging
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: when you've spent the last twenty thirty forty fifty sixty
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: years in a codependent framework. And so if the thing
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: that will get you to care, that will get you
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: to rest, that will get you to put your acid
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: bed at nine thirty, and I'm just not kidding about
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: nine thirty, because your adrenals are going to turn back
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: on at ten and like, please be asleep before that happens,
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: before you get that court is all boost and then
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: go into gluconeogenesis around three am, Like, please be in bed.
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: But if the thing that's going to get you to
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: there is you know, I'm gonna do this for my partner,
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna do this for my kids. I'm going to
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: do this for my mom. I'm going to do this
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: for my dog. I'm gonna do this for my boss.
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: Like if that is the motivator that gets you to
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: take care of yourself so that you can then do
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: the internal work to actually I did that from self love,
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: and I can do the next step from self love.
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: I'm out here, like, please get co with us, get healthier, right,
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: get back into you, and then do the thought work
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: I teach. Then do the somatics I teach to to
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: get your head in the place you might want it
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: to get to to prevent burnout the next time by
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: actually prioritizing yourself. But do you see what I'm saying there,
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: Like if your superpower's codependence, like, okay, cool, let's lean
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: on it.
• 19:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah, No, I mean I totally, I totally get it.
• 19:59
  Speaker 3: And I I think you're speaking to an issue that
• 20:01
  Speaker 3: so many of us have either struggled with at one
• 20:04
  Speaker 3: point or maybe currently have right now, which is that
• 20:07
  Speaker 3: it is hard sometimes to prioritize ourselves to make the
• 20:12
  Speaker 3: time to invest ourselves, to put our own well being first.
• 20:15
  Speaker 2: But again, you need to have grace with yourself. You
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: need to have some compassion.
• 20:19
  Speaker 3: And by putting yourself first, as you kind of just
• 20:22
  Speaker 3: got at here, you are in turn going to be
• 20:25
  Speaker 3: better to show up for all of the people that
• 20:28
  Speaker 3: you care about, whether it is personally or professionally.
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: Right, right, and yeah, whatever gets you there, right.
• 20:36
  Speaker 3: We started to kind of get into some of the
• 20:38
  Speaker 3: things that you can do on your own at home,
• 20:40
  Speaker 3: perhaps to deal with burnout outside of perhaps seeking out
• 20:45
  Speaker 3: help that you might be able to do virtually or
• 20:47
  Speaker 3: if you're willing to track across to wherever and do
• 20:49
  Speaker 3: it irl, But what else would you suggest that someone
• 20:53
  Speaker 3: does at home aside? You also mentioned that great nine
• 20:56
  Speaker 3: thirty Goldilocks bedtime I love.
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: I love nine thirty bedtime.
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: Samesis right.
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: I also will say I'm built for it. Right. A
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: friend and I were joking last night because I was like,
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: come over and watch a movie and she was like, yeah,
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: so I can watch you sleep on the couch and
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, facts, that's right, science, that is
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: what will happen. But only ten out of ten times,
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: so come on over. Yeah, so nine point thirty is
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: a phenomenal time to be in bed, having the same bedtime,
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: the same waketime, our amazing gifts that you can give yourself.
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: I get that that can be really challenging, particularly if
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: you've spent the day putting everyone ahead of yourself. It
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: can seem like once you've closed your computer for the
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: night with work stuff, if there are children's in or
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: partners involved, those people are in bed or otherwise taken
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: care of. I get it, right, Why are in? Our
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: children are in? Our teenagers are like, yo, stay up,
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: you can watch the YouTube, so you can have like
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: an hour to yourself, right, or an introverted friend of
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: mine was telling melast night that they stay up late
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: because it's a time when they can like recharge their
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: batteries and there's no humans involved.
• 22:07
  Speaker 3: Well that's how I feel about the mornings though, Like that,
• 22:10
  Speaker 3: And I feel like, as you're explaining that you're nine
• 22:12
  Speaker 3: thirty to bed person, I assume that maybe you're also
• 22:14
  Speaker 3: a morning person, like to exam babus. Yeah, So I
• 22:18
  Speaker 3: mean that is what I get in the morning. And
• 22:20
  Speaker 3: there's so much research that totes the benefits of being
• 22:24
  Speaker 3: a morning person, not to slam those that just like
• 22:26
  Speaker 3: can't make it happen, But to say that if you're
• 22:29
  Speaker 3: seeking that time and you may be used to finding
• 22:33
  Speaker 3: it on the tail end of your day, I would
• 22:35
  Speaker 3: encourage you to try to tweak that, swrap that and
• 22:39
  Speaker 3: see how it.
• 22:39
  Speaker 2: Makes you feel.
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: Totally. And one of the things that the evidence base
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: shows is we're when we're learning to manage burnout and
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: to help heal from it. Is a thing I teach
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: in my programs so much, which is celebrating ourselves. Right,
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: celebrating ourselves and our small wins, setting small, manageable goals,
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: by which I mean like legit, like oh I had
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: a glass of water today, like just the one, and
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: celebrating it helps with our neuroplasticity. Right. So, when our
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: brains are set to that perfectionist groove, I'm never doing enough.
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: Nothing I do is ever good enough. As we celebrate
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: the tiny our brain's like oh I did a good.
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: I can celebrate me for a good that's amazing, yay
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: me right, and I get it. It might feel like super
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: awkward or you know, boastful, like there's all these problematic words,
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: particularly for human socialized as women. When we celebrate ourselves.
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: And those are reasons why I would say, please do
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: it on the daily. And I bring this up because
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: I deeply believe in taking kitten sized steps, Like baby
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: steps are really big if you think about it, that's
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: like two and a half inches. That's wild for most
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: of us, right, But a kitten sized step that is doable.
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: So we take these kittens size steps. So if you
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: are habitually going to bed at one am, why don't
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: you set the goal of twelve fifty and just setting
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: a little alarm for twelve forty five twelve fifty, turn
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: the phone off and give yourself a week or two
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: or three, however long it takes to get you to
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: twelve fifty. Celebrate yourself every night and build trust with yourself,
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: because that's one of the things that happens in burnout
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: is along the way we trust that other people know
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: better for us than we know for ourselves. Oh, my
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: boss needs us for tomorrow. That must be more important,
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: says that internal script right subconsciously that we're not even hearing.
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: That must be more important than my taking care of me,
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: And so that starts to erode our self trust in
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: these really powerful ways. Again, when that core wounding in
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: our heart is I am not worthy of love and
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: care and good things. We're already in that self trust deficit, right,
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: and so we get to rebuild that using the power
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: of our own neuroplasticity, honoring our nervous system by really
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: celebrating ten minutes of change at a time, right, one
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: minutes of change at a time, and then you know,
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: within six months, maybe you're going to bed at eleven.
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: And I would say that that's amazing, because sustainable change
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: is slow change right.
• 25:23
  Speaker 3: In size steps something I'm gonna the best wine just
• 25:28
  Speaker 3: kick well.
• 25:28
  Speaker 2: I feel like, are you a cat person? You can
• 25:30
  Speaker 2: be honest?
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: I'm actually really I mean, so I'm a leo, So
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: I'm a lion person. Can the rest of the show
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: be talking about my hair? Because that's not mandated. I'm
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: more of a dog person. What about you?
• 25:43
  Speaker 3: I'm more of a dog person as well. But I mean,
• 25:45
  Speaker 3: puppies can also take big steps. So I think the
• 25:48
  Speaker 3: analogy really, it really is tiny. It's so tiny, Okay, So,
• 25:53
  Speaker 3: I mean we talked about kitten sized steps, going to
• 25:57
  Speaker 3: bed earlier, prioritizing yourself. Yeah, maybe talking with the professional
• 26:02
  Speaker 3: something that we haven't addressed here at all. And I'm
• 26:05
  Speaker 3: wondering if you have anything to throw into the mix
• 26:07
  Speaker 3: here when it comes to our diets, and yoah, can.
• 26:11
  Speaker 2: We talk about that for hot talk?
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: We can. Yeah. I always want to be thoughtful, right,
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: because one of the things that can go with burnout
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: is well. Within the New York contexts, I often saw
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: a lot of orthorexia alongside, right, folks who were overworking.
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: And again this is in the context of insurance based
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: primary care. Right, So people with access to financial resources were,
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: you know, working these forty hour days and we're scared
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: of eating anything outside the clean regimen. Right, it's like
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: the more culturally acceptable eating disorder, right, because it's a
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: it's control, but it looks like clean eating. So it's like,
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: you know, women's magazines approved. So I always just want
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: to be but right, I mean wrong right, not.
• 27:04
  Speaker 3: Wrong, which is awful, but I would like to fuck
• 27:07
  Speaker 3: to think as someone. I would like to think, as
• 27:09
  Speaker 3: someone who has a legacy background in women's magazines that
• 27:15
  Speaker 3: they're starting to get better with the way they talk
• 27:18
  Speaker 3: to their girl anyway.
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: Quote unquote, So let's stay biochemically, why don't we do that, right.
• 27:23
  Speaker 2: Let's talk, Let's talk biochemically, why don't we.
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: What everyone adjust your safety glasses. We're going to nerd,
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: Not that we haven't been nerding for like an hour,
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: but yeah, you know, if we think about putting stimulants
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: into our body, right, So in burnout, we are adrenalized.
• 27:41
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: Our bodies, how are often flooded with sympathetic activation, which
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: is the fire or flight portion of our nervous system.
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: As these demands are put upon us, and we put
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: demands upon ourselves, our bodies are full of adrenaline, nor
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: epinephrin eventually cortisol.
• 27:59
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: This is where the term adrenal fatigue, which is not sciency.
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: It's not a great term because organs don't get fatigued,
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: but colloquially like it works, so I covey on it
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: and then I use it. But when we think about
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: adrenal fatigue, our adrenals have been putting out all these
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: stress hormones, and so once that system is maxed out
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: and we're not getting those little like blips of adrenaline,
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: we need to be able to get up and put
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: on shoes and be a functional mammal in the world
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: when we're at that deficit. Or of course we're exhausted,
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: right because we're not getting those chemicals that we need.
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: And so quite frankly, within this culture of the society
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: here in the US, what we are taught to do
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: is to put caffeine on it, to put sugar on it,
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: to put gluten on it, right, to put quick carbs
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: on it.
• 28:50
  Speaker 3: I was going to say, I put reservatrol on it.
• 28:53
  Speaker 3: Well I reached right for the red wi right.
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: Oh, so that's the evening wine down from the all
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: day over like over hyping yourself to make up for
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: the fact that you physiologically can't hype yourself right, right,
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: And so it's like espresso all morning and the croissants
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: and then some pizza, right, and we're going for fast
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: carves because as mammals that make science, right, So, brains
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: can eat two things, glucose and ketone bodies. Ketone bodies
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: come from fat and glucose. Well, glucose is delicious, right,
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: And so when brains are overworked, they're like, yo, give
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: me calories, make them carbs make them now. And so
• 29:39
  Speaker 1: again not demonizing any foods or any food groups, but
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: when you're putting fast carbs on it, and you're putting
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: sugar and caffeine on burnout. You're not doing your physiology
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: any favors, because what you're at a deficit of is
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: the neurotransmitters that will help you to feel more relaxed,
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: more grounded, more centered. Right, we can talk about how
• 30:04
  Speaker 1: to put thought work, the thought work, the cognitive behavioral
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: thought work that I teach on top of that to
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: help you make different decisions. But what your physiology really
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: needs is fat and protein, right, is avocados and coconut
• 30:18
  Speaker 1: oil and coconut milk. And I'm Argentine, so have another steak.
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: Please write vegetables, some fruits. But what your body does
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: not need is the fast calories. And that's the irony.
• 30:32
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• 33:08
  Speaker 3: mentioned the thought work that you would kind of top
• 33:11
  Speaker 3: onto this, so I would love to kind of dive
• 33:14
  Speaker 3: into that as one of the last things that we
• 33:15
  Speaker 3: cover here today. Talk to me about where someone even
• 33:19
  Speaker 3: begins with that self talk when it comes to navigating burnout.
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so I think what's really important. I always talk
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: about the three a's awareness, acceptance, and action. So we
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: need to recognize what's going on before we can change it. Right,
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: you don't know to change the light bulb until you
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: realize it's gone out, So that awareness starts with stepping
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: into being our own watcher, our own observer, right being
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: recognizing that we are not our thoughts. We are the
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: human having those thoughts. Right, We are the embodied human
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: moving through the world. And so many of my clients
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: live their lives from their head up and are so disembodied.
• 34:02
  Speaker 1: I mean not literally. They have a human body, but
• 34:05
  Speaker 1: they are not connected to it in a way that
• 34:08
  Speaker 1: helps them to really feel Okay, I'm getting adrenalized.
• 34:13
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 34:13
  Speaker 1: Their brain just starts to tell the story, Oh, I'm anxious,
• 34:16
  Speaker 1: I need to work harder, right, or they don't recognize, oh,
• 34:19
  Speaker 1: I'm this moment of overwhelm is leading me into dorsal
• 34:23
  Speaker 1: shut down, the freeze part of our autonomic nervous system.
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: It's hard to recognize it as such so that we
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: can support ourselves to shift our nervous system state if
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: we don't know what's going on, so that self awareness
• 34:38
  Speaker 1: is really key. Meditation is phenomenal. It's not for everyone.
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: For folks with a lot of trauma in their history,
• 34:45
  Speaker 1: it's probably not a great place to start. Instead, I
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: would start with what I find to be more accessible,
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: and the evidence base shows to be more accessible for
• 34:53
  Speaker 1: more people, which is mindfulness. Right, as I put my
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: jewelry on in the morning, I take a breath, put
• 35:01
  Speaker 1: my earring on. Feel the weight now on my ear,
• 35:04
  Speaker 1: Put a necklace on, feel it land on my chest,
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: put my rings on, right, Like, it doesn't have to
• 35:11
  Speaker 1: be complex expensive, it's not, of course, you need to
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: take it's really just inviting yourself. And again I would
• 35:18
  Speaker 1: I'm I'm a witch who's really into ritual right. So
• 35:21
  Speaker 1: the end, the evidence based shows when we tie new
• 35:25
  Speaker 1: habits the things we do anyway, we have more success
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: long term habits stacking right exactly. So I love the
• 35:33
  Speaker 1: science and I love the woe. So let's put it
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: together and call it a ritual. Right, So pick a
• 35:38
  Speaker 1: thing from your day, when I make tea, when I
• 35:41
  Speaker 1: you know, when I put my shoes on. Whatever you're
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: going to do anyway, slow down, but slow down by
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: like milliseconds, not hours, right, Like you don't have to
• 35:52
  Speaker 1: go to an Ohtaga retreat, so gone, that's great, But
• 35:56
  Speaker 1: take a millisecond to get present with the things you're doing.
• 36:01
  Speaker 1: So as you increase your time at task, with that,
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: you increase your awareness of yourself and your body, your
• 36:08
  Speaker 1: awareness of how different things actually make you feel. In
• 36:12
  Speaker 1: your physiology somatically meaning in the body, and not just
• 36:16
  Speaker 1: what your cognitions. Your thoughts are about those experiences in
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: your life. And so my work is a combination of
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: a cognitive behavioral based thought work protocol and somatic work
• 36:29
  Speaker 1: deeply based in the body, right bottom up, somatic, top
• 36:33
  Speaker 1: down cognitive. And so what I support my clients in
• 36:37
  Speaker 1: doing is that physical awareness that comes from being your
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: own watcher, combined with actively consciously looking at your thoughts.
• 36:46
  Speaker 1: So if you're racing through your day having the thought,
• 36:50
  Speaker 1: repeating the thought, I am so overwhelmed, I'll never get
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: this done. My to do list is so long, this
• 36:56
  Speaker 1: is just too much. Oh my god, I'm going to
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: fail at everything is going to be the worst. My
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: boss is gonna hate this. The more you're repeating those stories,
• 37:04
  Speaker 1: the more you're engaging your your neuroplasticity around those stories.
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: So you're reinforcing those neural grooves within your own mind
• 37:15
  Speaker 1: that tell you you're overwhelmed, you're a failure, everything's lost, everything's terrible.
• 37:19
  Speaker 1: So again, by bringing in mindfulness, being your own watcher,
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: recognizing oh, I do repeat those stories. I repeat them
• 37:29
  Speaker 1: all day, every day, fascinating Okay, So what I say
• 37:32
  Speaker 1: in my head, I'm so overwhelmed. What do I feel
• 37:36
  Speaker 1: in my body? Oh? I feel a flutter in my heart.
• 37:40
  Speaker 1: I feel a little nauseous. I have diarrhea like five
• 37:44
  Speaker 1: minutes later. Girl, I did gas reentrology for a long time.
• 37:47
  Speaker 1: It's so real.
• 37:49
  Speaker 2: Here we are, but we are.
• 37:51
  Speaker 3: Your thoughts impact your gut and your gut like it's
• 37:54
  Speaker 3: all everything ties.
• 37:55
  Speaker 1: To your gut. Right, It's just autonomic nervous system, right,
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: because when you're in I mean, and so if you
• 38:00
  Speaker 1: think about it, what is stress? It is a lion
• 38:04
  Speaker 1: chasing you across the Sahara right about to snack on
• 38:07
  Speaker 1: you and everyone you've ever met, and you're going to
• 38:10
  Speaker 1: die immediately. And our bodies don't really get the difference
• 38:13
  Speaker 1: between line attack and three am text from your boss.
• 38:17
  Speaker 1: And so if you're going to run from a line,
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: are you going to do it with a colon full?
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: Are you gonna?
• 38:23
  Speaker 2: Right now? You're gonna clean that out?
• 38:25
  Speaker 1: You can clean that out. You're gonna do a little
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: self colonic there right on the Sahara. So right, but
• 38:31
  Speaker 1: I see, you know when I was doing GI work,
• 38:34
  Speaker 1: I was all these otherwise healthy young women with quote
• 38:38
  Speaker 1: unquote IBS, where I was like, this is just complete bs.
• 38:42
  Speaker 1: This is stress, this is trauma, This is the demands
• 38:46
  Speaker 1: of our modern life and the fact that we are
• 38:49
  Speaker 1: not taught how to regulate our nervous system right, which
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: which for me is at the core of the work
• 38:55
  Speaker 1: I do, because when our nervous systems are disregulated, which
• 38:58
  Speaker 1: means again that we are in that fight or flight
• 39:01
  Speaker 1: or dorsal shut down freeze state, which is often at
• 39:04
  Speaker 1: the what like actual burnout looks like is we've been
• 39:07
  Speaker 1: so hyped up that our bodies are like, shut her down.
• 39:11
  Speaker 1: This is not sustainable again biochemically or energetically or spiritually.
• 39:17
  Speaker 1: So we go into that freeze and we can't do much.
• 39:21
  Speaker 3: For the person who they are now observing. They're observing
• 39:26
  Speaker 3: that they're saying, Wow, I'm so overwhelmed. Sure, I'm never
• 39:29
  Speaker 3: going to get all this done. Now let's offer them
• 39:33
  Speaker 3: the Okay, I see this, What do I say to
• 39:36
  Speaker 3: myself instead?
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: Right? So it really awareness, acceptance action. Before we jump
• 39:43
  Speaker 1: to action, we need to pause an acceptance. And I
• 39:48
  Speaker 1: think I have found in the last decade of doing
• 39:50
  Speaker 1: this work and in my own work as well, that
• 39:52
  Speaker 1: that is the most challenging step for folks, particularly coming
• 39:56
  Speaker 1: from these perfectionists in people pleasing thought habits. We want
• 39:59
  Speaker 1: to take action, we want to do the next thing.
• 40:01
  Speaker 1: But it's taking action and action and action and action
• 40:04
  Speaker 1: and not breathing, accepting, resting. That is part and parcel
• 40:10
  Speaker 1: of getting us here right. And so before we jump
• 40:14
  Speaker 1: to changing our thoughts, it is vital that we sit
• 40:18
  Speaker 1: with them, that we recognize the physiologic somadic reverberations, the
• 40:24
  Speaker 1: feelings that occur in our body when we have that thought,
• 40:28
  Speaker 1: I'm so overwhelmed. So how does that make you feel?
• 40:32
  Speaker 2: Right?
• 40:33
  Speaker 1: It makes despondent, angry, sad, right, but really getting in
• 40:40
  Speaker 1: touch with the feeling and allowing the feeling to exist
• 40:43
  Speaker 1: in your body because if not, I mean, the real
• 40:47
  Speaker 1: danger seems a little maybe overwrought, but maybe not right.
• 40:51
  Speaker 1: Let's say it. The danger of this work, Yeah it works,
• 40:55
  Speaker 1: is emotional bypassing, spiritual bypassing, using something like the thought
• 41:00
  Speaker 1: work protocol to jump over the human experience of recognizing
• 41:05
  Speaker 1: that if your body is telling you this feels like crap,
• 41:09
  Speaker 1: it's maybe because this isn't good for you. It's maybe
• 41:13
  Speaker 1: because a change is needed. When that is possible, right
• 41:17
  Speaker 1: if it is within your capacity to change it. That's
• 41:23
  Speaker 1: the message from your body.
• 41:25
  Speaker 3: Right right, Okay, So acceptance super is super is KOI?
• 41:30
  Speaker 1: And really and just letting yourself cry about it, letting
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: yourself mash your fists and throw a temper tantrum about it,
• 41:39
  Speaker 1: letting yourself be a four year old and a twelve
• 41:41
  Speaker 1: year old and let your inner children just let it out. Right.
• 41:48
  Speaker 1: So from there, from really having felt the feelings, which
• 41:51
  Speaker 1: again I recognize is really challenging because we're not taught
• 41:54
  Speaker 1: to do that. Where it's hot to suppress our feelings,
• 41:57
  Speaker 1: then we take action, and we do that again by
• 42:00
  Speaker 1: hr neuroplasticity. So I invite my clients to pick a
• 42:03
  Speaker 1: new thought, a new thought that they believe in their physiology.
• 42:07
  Speaker 1: So I don't do like toxic positivity, you know, hashtag
• 42:12
  Speaker 1: positive vibes only not my jam. It's from a host
• 42:16
  Speaker 1: of reasons, primary of which is like, that's not neuroscience,
• 42:21
  Speaker 1: that's not how brains work.
• 42:22
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 42:23
  Speaker 1: You can't lie to yourself and expect your brain and
• 42:25
  Speaker 1: body and spirit to like actually change, right, There's no
• 42:29
  Speaker 1: need to gaslight ourselves. So instead we pick a thought
• 42:33
  Speaker 1: that we can believe, and that resonates in our body
• 42:37
  Speaker 1: as believable, right, and we recognize. So wait, how do
• 42:40
  Speaker 1: I know what it feels like in my body when
• 42:43
  Speaker 1: something is believable? So you start with something that feels
• 42:45
  Speaker 1: like a true deep fact for you. I love my grandma,
• 42:51
  Speaker 1: so you feel into it. Right. So when I think
• 42:54
  Speaker 1: about my Alita, let's let me think about my Abuela
• 42:57
  Speaker 1: Marta Veatris. When I think about her, oh, I get
• 43:01
  Speaker 1: like this warm blue energy in my chest and it
• 43:04
  Speaker 1: vibrates and it sort of radiates outward. And that's what
• 43:09
  Speaker 1: truth feels like in my body? Is that sensation? So
• 43:13
  Speaker 1: then when I'm looking to create a new thought in
• 43:15
  Speaker 1: my thought work, such as let's see my worth isn't
• 43:21
  Speaker 1: tied to my productivity, perhaps you feel in and check in.
• 43:25
  Speaker 1: Does that resonate as truth when you are in the
• 43:28
  Speaker 1: depths of burnout? It may not. Right from your socialization
• 43:32
  Speaker 1: and your conditioning, it may not, and so we bridge
• 43:36
  Speaker 1: to it. I believe that it is possible that someday
• 43:41
  Speaker 1: I can disarticulate my self worth as a mammal and
• 43:45
  Speaker 1: my production within late stage capitalism. I believe that it
• 43:48
  Speaker 1: is possible that someday right, And I invite my clients
• 43:52
  Speaker 1: to create a bridge that's like the Taconic plus the
• 43:55
  Speaker 1: Tribeorro plus the GW plus the Arizona. If you're not
• 43:59
  Speaker 1: finding you are looking up.
• 44:02
  Speaker 3: I love this because it's a great example of your
• 44:06
  Speaker 3: use of kitten size SaaS. And I mean if anyone
• 44:11
  Speaker 3: was able to come up with a action that was
• 44:15
  Speaker 3: as lengthy and yet still articulate as you were just
• 44:20
  Speaker 3: able to craft, I would be phenomenally impressed.
• 44:24
  Speaker 1: Why thank you, Why thank you? Why thank you?
• 44:27
  Speaker 3: But I think it's important what you're getting at here
• 44:29
  Speaker 3: is really important, which is that you want. If it
• 44:32
  Speaker 3: doesn't feel true to who you are, then it's it's
• 44:36
  Speaker 3: almost worthless, right if you are going to sit at
• 44:39
  Speaker 3: your desk and just repeat to yourself, I can do this.
• 44:43
  Speaker 2: And I mean that's a very ble Land statement, but
• 44:44
  Speaker 2: I can do this. I can do this. I can
• 44:46
  Speaker 2: do this good.
• 44:47
  Speaker 3: And it's not that might not stir the positivity and
• 44:52
  Speaker 3: that positive, great blue energy that you were talking about
• 44:55
  Speaker 3: in a way that's going to be helpful. But what
• 44:57
  Speaker 3: can do something helpful is get I really honest with
• 45:00
  Speaker 3: yourself about what's a good thing that I can put
• 45:03
  Speaker 3: into my body right now that I can tell myself
• 45:05
  Speaker 3: right now, it's going to make me a happier and
• 45:09
  Speaker 3: perhaps even more productive person, right or less productive if
• 45:16
  Speaker 3: that makes you feel good, right, if that makes you
• 45:20
  Speaker 3: feel good? Okay, I love these three a's things.
• 45:24
  Speaker 2: So helpful.
• 45:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's so helpful for me too. Yeah.
• 45:29
  Speaker 3: Anything that we haven't double clicked on yet that we
• 45:32
  Speaker 3: should make time for before I let you go when
• 45:35
  Speaker 3: it comes to burnout.
• 45:36
  Speaker 2: Any other wisdom that you want to dispel on the hurdlers.
• 45:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Nature keeps coming to me really powerfully, right, so
• 45:45
  Speaker 1: so many of us, particularly those of us who live
• 45:47
  Speaker 1: in big cities. I recently moved up to the Hudson
• 45:51
  Speaker 1: Valley after a very very very long time on occupied
• 45:55
  Speaker 1: Lanape territory in Brooklyn, New York. Still on occupied Lanape
• 45:58
  Speaker 1: territory up here, but I have access to nature now,
• 46:02
  Speaker 1: which is such a gift and a privilege that I am.
• 46:06
  Speaker 1: I you know, I don't sleep on that for like
• 46:08
  Speaker 1: a millisecond that I get to open my window and
• 46:11
  Speaker 1: there's fresh air and trees. Nature is a powerful resource
• 46:16
  Speaker 1: for our nervous system. We come from nature. She wants
• 46:19
  Speaker 1: our best everything, and so there's actually a study that
• 46:24
  Speaker 1: shows that people with plants in their office report less burnout.
• 46:28
  Speaker 1: And I think it's it's bringing nature and recognizing that
• 46:33
  Speaker 1: ventral vagel, which is the safe and social part of
• 46:35
  Speaker 1: our nervous system, can be found when we connect inward
• 46:39
  Speaker 1: and connect inward towards nature. So if you live in
• 46:42
  Speaker 1: a city, that can be again, a plant in your office.
• 46:46
  Speaker 1: It really is. There's studies that show that visualizing and
• 46:51
  Speaker 1: really powerfully visualizing the thing we want, the thing we
• 46:54
  Speaker 1: want to connect with, the thing we need, can actually
• 46:57
  Speaker 1: have really significant impacts on our nerves a system. So
• 47:01
  Speaker 1: even just taking and again we're gonna we habit, stack it.
• 47:05
  Speaker 1: Every time you pee, don't take your phone in there,
• 47:10
  Speaker 1: close your eyes and picture nature, a field, a tree,
• 47:15
  Speaker 1: a bird, a Deer's.
• 47:17
  Speaker 2: Right, who doesn't want to think about deers when they're peeing?
• 47:21
  Speaker 1: Fools? Fools and idiots, morons. Now I'm dead.
• 47:26
  Speaker 3: I'm said, I'll think about crashing ocean waves. That feels
• 47:30
  Speaker 3: appropriate for the scenario.
• 47:31
  Speaker 1: I really that is actually a more appropriate pea based meditation.
• 47:35
  Speaker 1: And I appreciate your taking us to there. I woke
• 47:39
  Speaker 1: up this morning. Thank you. I appreciate thank you, My sister,
• 47:42
  Speaker 1: I woke up this morning to a yard full of deers.
• 47:45
  Speaker 1: Deers or it's not it's a deer. I'm an e
• 47:49
  Speaker 1: sl kid, and sometimes saying things wrongly just makes my
• 47:53
  Speaker 1: brain very amused. O man, I am Yeah, started with
• 47:57
  Speaker 1: that disclaimer at the front.
• 48:01
  Speaker 2: Oh my god.
• 48:02
  Speaker 3: Well, Victoria, your insight on this, all.
• 48:05
  Speaker 2: Of your knowledge on this topic. It's so helpful.
• 48:08
  Speaker 3: And I know that I'm certainly walking away from this
• 48:11
  Speaker 3: conversation with a handful of takeaways to navigate both everything
• 48:16
  Speaker 3: from just regular overwhelm to probably enough a little burnout
• 48:21
  Speaker 3: in the months to come. And I think to end here,
• 48:24
  Speaker 3: I just want to kind of run home something that
• 48:26
  Speaker 3: we touched on earlier, which is, once you kind of
• 48:30
  Speaker 3: deal with this, maybe for the first time, or even
• 48:32
  Speaker 3: if it's the eighteenth time, but you're finally starting to
• 48:36
  Speaker 3: utilize a skill set that really works for you, it's
• 48:39
  Speaker 3: important to recognize that, like you now have that skill
• 48:42
  Speaker 3: set totally.
• 48:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, you can do thought work to not go
• 48:46
  Speaker 1: into the overwhelm in the first place, right, You can
• 48:50
  Speaker 1: help yourself to not engage with those overwhelmed thoughts and
• 48:54
  Speaker 1: choose a different narrative for yourself. And as you tap
• 48:57
  Speaker 1: into greater self love. You get to ask yourself questions
• 49:00
  Speaker 1: like what do I really truly want from my life
• 49:05
  Speaker 1: and is it aligned with this type of work. If
• 49:08
  Speaker 1: you have the privilege to be asking that that kind
• 49:10
  Speaker 1: of a question, right, it's so important thing to do.
• 49:14
  Speaker 3: Totally well loved this convo. Appreciate you at Victoria. How
• 49:19
  Speaker 3: do the hurdlers keep up with you? How do they
• 49:21
  Speaker 3: follow along with you? For more of your great wisdom
• 49:24
  Speaker 3: on the regular give.
• 49:24
  Speaker 1: Us the details. Thank you. So I have a podcast
• 49:27
  Speaker 1: called Feminist Wellness. It comes out every Thursday on all
• 49:30
  Speaker 1: of the places. You can find me on the gram
• 49:33
  Speaker 1: at Victoria albin A Wellness I give good Gram and
• 49:36
  Speaker 1: if you go over to Victorielbina dot com you can
• 49:39
  Speaker 1: get a suite of free meditations and nervous system exercises.
• 49:43
  Speaker 1: So there's a grounding meditation, an orienting exercise, which is
• 49:47
  Speaker 1: great for folks who do not feel embodied safety when
• 49:50
  Speaker 1: they go inward into their bodies. We always want to
• 49:53
  Speaker 1: honor that. Plus meditations on boundaries in our children's also
• 49:57
  Speaker 1: not a word. Yeah, and so that's just at the
• 50:01
  Speaker 1: top of the page of Victorialbina dot com.
• 50:04
  Speaker 2: Love it all.
• 50:05
  Speaker 3: I'm over at Hurdle Podcast and at Emily Potty another
• 50:08
  Speaker 3: hurdle conquered.
• 50:10
  Speaker 2: Catch you guys next time.