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136 - Return from summer hiatus · Story Magic

2:27
Emily: Hey, writers.
2:28
Emily: Welcome back to Story Magic, the podcast that will help you write a book you're damn proud of.
2:31
Rachel: I'm Rachel.
2:32
Emily: And I'm Emily.
2:33
Rachel: And today we're talking about us and how we've been and what we've been doing and what our summers were like.
2:40
Rachel: It's our first welcome back to us, our first.
2:44
Rachel: Hey, podcast episode.
2:46
Emily: It's been a while, you guys.
2:47
Emily: I think I've talked to Rachel, like, one time.
2:49
Rachel: I know it's been a long time.
2:51
Emily: I don't know, June.
2:55
Rachel: Forgot what you looked like for a little bit.
2:57
Emily: I'm surprised we were able to do our script without a.
3:00
Rachel: Without a mess up, without a secondary practice round.
3:07
Rachel: We had a. Each of us.
3:09
Rachel: Both of us had summer.
3:10
Rachel: Summer was hard.
3:12
Emily: Here we are.
3:14
Rachel: We wanted to catch up with each other and see how we've been, and that's what this episode is going to be.
3:21
Rachel: So this isn't for you.
3:23
Rachel: This is for us.
3:25
Rachel: You get to listen in if you want.
3:28
Rachel: So.
3:28
Emily: Hello. How are you?
3:28
Emily: Okay.
3:31
Rachel: Survived.
3:32
Rachel: I got a cold.
3:34
Rachel: I know my period.
3:37
Emily: You're in A, right?
3:37
Emily: What is that called?
3:39
Emily: You guys can't see her, but she's
3:41
Rachel: in a. I'm in a Snuggie.
3:43
Emily: In a Snuggie.
3:44
Rachel: I'm wearing my Snuggie that my grandmother bought for me for Christmas a couple years ago.
3:49
Rachel: And I'm in the basement and it's cold and I normally have a space heater on, but you can hear it in the podcast.
3:59
Rachel: So I don't have it on.
4:01
Rachel: And I had to put on my Snuggie because I'm freezing right now.
4:04
Rachel: It's hot outside.
4:06
Emily: It is.
4:06
Emily: It's still hot.
4:07
Emily: It's been hot this whole time, probably since we stopped recording.
4:10
Emily: It has just been hot.
4:12
Rachel: Have you guys had a lot of rain?
4:12
Rachel: We've had a lot of rain in the last two weeks.
4:17
Emily: No, we've had, like a little bit of rain.
4:20
Emily: It rained yesterday for like 20 minutes.
4:23
Emily: A little.
4:25
Rachel: Yeah, we're getting a lot.
4:27
Emily: Yeah, we had fires and smoke and
4:30
Rachel: we had a lot of fires.
4:33
Rachel: We had this big fire in.
4:36
Rachel: What is it called?
4:38
Rachel: Aspen View. Aspen something.
4:40
Rachel: It's not near Aspen.
4:42
Rachel: It's by Pueblo.
4:44
Rachel: That fire was very.
4:45
Emily: Oh, yeah, that one was.
4:45
Emily: That one was big.
4:46
Rachel: Yeah, we got a lot of smoke from that for a long time.
4:50
Emily: We had a big one here, too.
4:51
Emily: My husband ran an ultramarathon, which was the first half of my summer, revolved around that.
4:59
Emily: And it almost got canceled because this fire started two miles north of the trail, somehow they squeezed it in.
5:05
Emily: I don't know.
5:06
Emily: But I'm grateful we don't have to do it again next year.
5:10
Rachel: You're not going to do it again.
5:11
Emily: Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. Because the other news is I'm pregnant.
5:17
Emily: So he was like, very much.
5:18
Emily: They would have pushed his ticket to next year.
5:20
Emily: It's very hard to get into this race.
5:22
Emily: I will go into it.
5:23
Emily: But it took 10 years for him to get into this race.
5:25
Emily: They would have pushed him to next year to be able to run it.
5:29
Emily: And yeah, that doesn't have a baby.
5:33
Emily: Yeah, baby's due in December.
5:35
Emily: Babies training from after maternity leave for three months.
5:40
Emily: Sounded like not super fun.
5:42
Emily: So good.
5:43
Rachel: I do it.
5:45
Rachel: So.
5:47
Emily: Yeah. But yeah.
5:49
Rachel: So, summer, how are you feeling being pregnant?
5:54
Rachel: This was not.
5:55
Rachel: By the way, guys, I feel pregnant.
5:57
Rachel: I've known she's pregnant for a long time, so I'm like, yeah, she's pregnant.
6:00
Rachel: She's pregnant.
6:01
Emily: Oh, my God. Yes.
6:05
Rachel: How are you feeling, though?
6:05
Rachel: Been a while.
6:08
Emily: Yeah, it's been.
6:10
Emily: It has been a better pregnancy than the first one.
6:12
Emily: This is my second kid for people who don't know, but extra exhausting because I have a kid and my.
6:23
Emily: And because my husband was training, his training kind of overlapped with
6:29
Rachel: me.
6:29
Emily: Like my first trimester, the first trimester dumps, which are just brutal.
6:35
Emily: So, yeah, that for me was the most miserable part of my first pregnancy and postpartum.
6:43
Emily: Um, and it wasn't great this time either.
6:45
Emily: So.
6:46
Emily: Yeah, so we just sort of like muscled through it and like, I guess that was like May, June, April, May, June, May, June, July.
6:55
Emily: Um, and I was trying to write during that time and I did, I did write.
7:01
Emily: Um, but yeah, then I basically took the rest of the summer off until like last week.
7:05
Rachel: Yeah.
7:06
Emily: So, yeah, I'm feeling a lot better now.
7:08
Emily: Have my brain back for now.
7:13
Emily: And I am not.
7:14
Emily: It's not the same kind of fatigue, but I'm definitely slowing down.
7:17
Emily: Um, yeah.
7:19
Emily: But yeah, otherwise I'm good.
7:21
Emily: Yeah, good.
7:22
Emily: What about you?
7:22
Emily: How was your, your first summer with your kid home?
7:26
Rachel: Hard.
7:28
Rachel: It was.
7:29
Rachel: I was just, I just got off the phone with a one on one client and I was telling her I, I felt like it was so slow and then I'm like, oh, my God, we're.
7:38
Rachel: It's over.
7:39
Rachel: It was so fast.
7:40
Rachel: Like it.
7:41
Rachel: Every day was just like really stressful and I felt like I was doing everything wrong.
7:48
Rachel: Really. Like I felt like I was, you know, I was telling her I had to work.
7:53
Rachel: I was telling my Clients.
7:54
Rachel: I had her.
7:55
Rachel: Like, it just was, like, any choice that I made to play outside was, like, time away from the work that I had to do.
8:04
Rachel: And then the time away, like, working was, like, time away from her.
8:10
Rachel: And then she's bored.
8:12
Rachel: And we.
8:12
Rachel: We had some hard moments.
8:14
Rachel: I think I told you about some of them.
8:15
Rachel: I don't need to rehash them.
8:16
Rachel: But, like, she was feeling the pain of not being the center of attention, which is hard for a child, hard for an only child.
8:25
Rachel: And that was rough.
8:28
Rachel: But then we got a puppy.
8:31
Rachel: Why?
8:34
Rachel: She's great.
8:35
Rachel: She's lovely.
8:36
Rachel: But then everything became about, like, is the puppy eating something?
8:38
Rachel: Is the puppy pooping in the house?
8:41
Rachel: Is the puppy sleeping?
8:41
Rachel: Is this puppy?
8:43
Rachel: I've got to go outside?
8:43
Rachel: So then it was like, I've got the puppy, and I've got the work, and I've got the child.
8:47
Emily: Yeah.
8:48
Rachel: But the good news was that because we had a puppy, our neighbor kids wanted to come to our house.
8:53
Emily: There you go.
8:55
Rachel: So all of the neighbor kids were at our house playing with the puppy and with Rose.
9:00
Rachel: So. So that helped out a little bit, because then, you know, they wanted to see the puppy, and they got to play with her, and she got to play with them.
9:07
Emily: Yeah. Yeah. Thank goodness for neighbor kids, man.
9:11
Rachel: Yeah.
9:11
Emily: Literally.
9:12
Rachel: Yeah.
9:14
Emily: It sounds rough.
9:15
Emily: It sounds rough.
9:16
Emily: I mean, it's hard.
9:17
Emily: I was just complaining to.
9:19
Emily: I've had, like, ups and downs since I started writing again.
9:21
Emily: Cause I took, like.
9:24
Emily: It felt like many months.
9:26
Emily: It. Yeah, I feel like it was.
9:28
Emily: I stopped in, like, mid May.
9:29
Emily: How long ago was that?
9:31
Rachel: Yeah, that's like three months ago.
9:33
Emily: Yeah. So I took, like, a solid three months off, which writing, which I have not done in a very long time.
9:39
Emily: Um, and I had lots of other things going on, but I. When I started, like, trying to write again and, like, fit it back into my life, I was like, man, this is so hard.
9:50
Emily: I was like, I feel like I can do life and work.
9:54
Rachel: Yeah.
9:54
Emily: Or I can do life and writing.
9:57
Emily: But, like, life, work, and writing is just, like.
9:59
Emily: It's so much.
10:01
Emily: And I look for myself.
10:03
Emily: No.
10:04
Rachel: You know what Rose kept saying to me?
10:04
Rachel: I was like, I have.
10:08
Rachel: She'd be like, mommy, come play with me.
10:09
Rachel: I'd be like, I'm so sorry, honey.
10:10
Rachel: I have to work.
10:11
Rachel: She's like, aren't you the boss?
10:13
Rachel: And I was like, yeah, I own my own business.
10:16
Rachel: And she was like, if you're the boss, why do you have to work?
10:19
Rachel: And I was like, you don't understand, but you're Right.
10:24
Rachel: You don't get it.
10:25
Rachel: So she kept being like, well, you're in charge.
10:28
Rachel: And I was like, I guess, but I'm more of a slave to this job than ever, you know?
10:34
Emily: Yeah, well, and it's hard because then there's the extra guilt, right?
10:37
Emily: It's.
10:38
Emily: You do have a choice.
10:39
Emily: You're not someone who's, like, expected to be in the office at this time, and then you can leave at this time, and you don't have to carry that choice.
10:44
Emily: Like, and I'm sure it was extra point or.
10:49
Emily: What's the word I'm looking for, Potent for you this summer.
10:52
Rachel: Is that the right word?
10:54
Emily: Having her there with you?
10:54
Emily: Right.
10:56
Emily: Because it's like, school is one of those things where it's like, oh, she can, you know, she has to go to school, so.
11:01
Emily: Except when she's sick.
11:03
Emily: But so, like, you don't have to carry the choice of, do I?
11:07
Emily: And I feel like I carry that a little bit sometimes because my kid's in daycare.
11:10
Emily: She's not in school yet, so it's like, she doesn't have to be there.
11:13
Emily: So it is a choice every time I send her or don't pick her up earlier.
11:17
Emily: Her earlier, like, all that.
11:18
Emily: And it just feels like I'm constantly having to make these choices.
11:20
Emily: And that's motherh good.
11:21
Emily: Like, I know that, but I still want to about it because it's hard.
11:26
Emily: And then you try to add writing back in there, and it feels like something.
11:29
Emily: Especially since I'm not on contract, I don't know where this book is going or what I'm going to do with it.
11:34
Emily: It feels very much like, okay, now I'm doing it for me again, which is fun in some aspects because it takes that.
11:41
Emily: That pressure away.
11:42
Emily: And it feels different than my last couple books have.
11:45
Emily: But then it feels like a little bit of a guilty thing.
11:49
Emily: Right?
11:49
Emily: Cause I'm like, oh, I'm choosing to spend this time away from my work and away from my child to do this thing that's fun just for me.
11:55
Emily: And then it's just like, it's just a constant.
11:58
Emily: It's just constant.
11:59
Emily: Like, the mindset stuff doesn't go away even when you, like, know it and you know that the hustle stuff is there and you know the voices and you're familiar with them.
12:09
Emily: It's still.
12:09
Emily: It doesn't make it any easier to, like, balance those decisions because it's hard.
12:16
Emily: I want to do all the things.
12:17
Emily: I want to do everything.
12:18
Emily: I want to be with my kid all Day and write all day and work all day.
12:21
Emily: I want to do all of that
12:23
Rachel: and we deserve to have that.
12:25
Rachel: Right.
12:25
Rachel: Like, but practically you can do three full things.
12:31
Rachel: Yeah.
12:32
Rachel: You can't do it.
12:33
Rachel: It doesn't work that way.
12:34
Emily: Yeah.
12:34
Rachel: I feel like that was just my constant wrestle the summer with.
12:41
Rachel: I want to do all of the things and more of them and I just don't have enough of me to
12:48
Emily: do that a hundred percent.
12:51
Emily: And it's hard.
12:51
Emily: I was talking to one of my clients, it's also a coach, and we were talking about to do lists and how our as working for yourselves.
13:00
Emily: Your to do list can be so insanely long.
13:05
Emily: And I was like, yeah, but there's a difference between things that are like, like that you must do.
13:10
Emily: Right.
13:10
Emily: And then the things that you want to do and it's hard because you want to do them.
13:14
Emily: So they stay on your to do list because you're like, I want to do these things that I don't have to do.
13:19
Emily: But that would be fun if I had the time.
13:22
Emily: I just don't have the time.
13:25
Rachel: Yeah.
13:25
Emily: And it's hard.
13:26
Emily: It's. I mean, I guess that's the, that's a blessing, I guess in disguise of having the ability to choose those decisions.
13:33
Emily: Right.
13:33
Emily: Like at least we don't work like to jobs we hate and that we don't have control over and that we don't get to make decisions.
13:41
Emily: But yeah, it is.
13:42
Emily: That doesn't mean it's any.
13:43
Emily: It's easy to make those choices and it's minute to minute choices.
13:47
Emily: Especially when your kids home.
13:49
Rachel: Yeah.
13:50
Emily: It's just a lot.
13:51
Emily: Yeah, it's fun.
13:51
Rachel: It's a lot.
13:53
Rachel: It's a busy summer and like I have joked about this.
13:57
Rachel: So my fourth book is coming out in a couple weeks.
14:00
Rachel: So there were a lot of times over the summer where I was having to choose like what.
14:08
Rachel: What are the things that I can.
14:10
Rachel: Like what are the necessary to dos and what are the things that can wait.
14:14
Emily: Yeah.
14:15
Rachel: And then like I, I like really debated whether I wanted to bring this up or not, but I think I do.
14:20
Rachel: One of my one on one clients passed away in May and it was, it was like a surprise.
14:26
Rachel: It was completely unexpected.
14:28
Rachel: Um, but then his wife asked me to continue working on the book with her.
14:33
Rachel: But then that became like my main role.
14:37
Rachel: Right.
14:37
Rachel: To write that book.
14:38
Rachel: Because she is not like the book that he and I were working on together.
14:43
Rachel: Like I know it so well.
14:44
Rachel: And for her to then try to muddy through writing it and finishing just it didn't make sense where, like, I could take point on that.
14:54
Rachel: So I kind of went in that capacity from being coach to being writer.
14:58
Rachel: So then I was writing.
14:59
Rachel: I am writing his book, writing my book.
15:03
Rachel: And he.
15:04
Rachel: We had things booked for him.
15:07
Rachel: So, like, we have a. We have deadlines in place for his book that we can move, and his wife is wonderful.
15:15
Rachel: And, you know, we've.
15:16
Rachel: We've done the absolute best that we can do.
15:19
Rachel: But then all of a sudden, there was this added pressure of, like, okay, I've now got his book to write and my book to write and this child and my other clients and, like, emotions of loss.
15:32
Emily: I mean, it was a devastating.
15:34
Rachel: It was really hard.
15:35
Rachel: It still is really hard.
15:36
Rachel: I'm going.
15:37
Rachel: I'm going this weekend.
15:38
Rachel: So today's August 20th, so this weekend I'll be going to visit his wife and work on book things with her.
15:46
Rachel: So it's.
15:47
Rachel: It's like, that was a huge disruption that I didn't plan for, and how could I plan for that?
15:51
Rachel: Like, it was completely unexpected.
15:55
Rachel: I'm very honored and, like, so pleased that we can keep moving forward with the project and that it was in a state where his wife and I can get it across the finish line.
16:06
Rachel: But then that became like, a whole other thing of navigating grief and the pages of his story and showing up and finishing it and making decisions on his behalf.
16:17
Rachel: Right.
16:17
Rachel: Like, his wife and I are having to make story decisions.
16:20
Rachel: We're having.
16:21
Rachel: I'm having to write new words through his voice, or we've gone back to his earlier drafts and combed through, like, things that he and I had chosen to cut that.
16:32
Rachel: Now his wife and I are like, well, maybe we put that in because it sounds like him.
16:36
Emily: Right.
16:36
Rachel: So then we're like, okay.
16:38
Rachel: The book has also now shifted from.
16:41
Rachel: I'm trying to cut it down to certain word count to be like, no, it's going to be whatever word count it needs to be, because this is his legacy.
16:49
Rachel: Right.
16:49
Rachel: So then I'm adding backwards in that we cut, because they're his words.
16:53
Rachel: So that's been tricky.
16:55
Rachel: So I feel like I'm writing two books at one time.
16:59
Emily: On deadlines.
17:00
Emily: Yeah. On.
17:01
Rachel: On both individual deadlines for both of them.
17:03
Rachel: Yeah.
17:05
Rachel: So that.
17:06
Rachel: That made this summer, like, even more of a. A thing.
17:10
Emily: Even more of a challenge.
17:12
Rachel: But. But it's coming along great.
17:16
Rachel: I mean, I'm very pleased with it.
17:17
Rachel: I'm very happy with where his book is at and where my book is at.
17:21
Rachel: And the other part that kind of sucks.
17:23
Rachel: Is that just all the deadlines are happening at one time?
17:25
Rachel: Like, I need to have my book published in three weeks, but I need to have his book to beta readers in, like, two weeks and then feedback back at the time that my book is releasing.
17:40
Rachel: And then I need to put his feedback, the feedback that we get from beta readers, into the pages because his book is due for line edits October 1st.
17:49
Rachel: So I'm like, all right, we've got a month and a half, and then
17:52
Emily: on October 1st, you will disintegrate into nothing.
17:55
Rachel: Exactly. So I'm like, telling.
17:56
Rachel: I was telling people I'm going to pencil in my burnout for October 1st for, like, late September.
18:03
Rachel: I can't.
18:04
Rachel: I have to hold everything together until October 1st.
18:08
Rachel: And.
18:09
Emily: Yeah, we were just talking about a workshop.
18:10
Emily: You want to teach in October?
18:10
Emily: Okay, maybe we'll move that.
18:13
Rachel: No, but that one's a good one because that one's a mindset workshop.
18:16
Rachel: So it'll be like, for me, yeah, sure.
18:21
Rachel: There's so many things I want to do, right?
18:21
Rachel: Like, there's so many things I want to do and I just don't have the.
18:27
Rachel: The energy or the time or the bandwidth to do them all.
18:32
Emily: Yeah, it's just the re.
18:33
Emily: The sad reality of life, man.
18:35
Rachel: Yeah.
18:36
Emily: The limits.
18:36
Emily: The limits are painful and we're just
18:39
Rachel: humans, you know, like this.
18:41
Rachel: Like, I've talked to my client, for example, I've talked to his wife, and I know the line editor.
18:46
Rachel: So if I needed to move that deadline, I can go to the line editor and be like, hey, this is not going to be ready.
18:52
Rachel: And I've already spoken to the line editor to be like, I'm doing this now, so.
18:56
Rachel: So you've gotta help me with this.
18:57
Rachel: And she's a friend of mine, so then I can, you know, we have a relationship where there's flexibility there.
19:02
Rachel: Is it the end of the world if, like, I don't have these deadlines met?
19:07
Rachel: No, not at all.
19:09
Rachel: But in the day to day when, like, they're looming over you as what you want to do.
19:15
Rachel: I want to have it done.
19:16
Rachel: I want to.
19:17
Rachel: I want to accomplish that.
19:19
Rachel: But is it practical?
19:19
Rachel: I don't know.
19:21
Rachel: I might, like, help.
19:22
Rachel: I might have to shift it when I get closer to it.
19:25
Emily: Yeah. I feel like there's.
19:27
Emily: There can be this, like, desperate need to have something just off your plate.
19:32
Emily: That happens to me all the time.
19:33
Emily: I'm like, I need to have this done before X.
19:36
Rachel: Right.
19:37
Emily: So that I can just not think about it.
19:39
Emily: And it's like, I Put this, like, hustle energy on myself because I'm like, you won't be able to relax if it's not done.
19:45
Emily: Whether it needs to be done or not.
19:48
Rachel: Yes.
19:49
Emily: I feel like I.
19:50
Emily: I worked through that a little bit in May because I was working on the first draft of this book, and it was not going well because I had half a brain.
20:02
Emily: Half a brain cell, and was, like, napping every day.
20:07
Emily: I was, like, trying to write this book while also, like, mostly, you know, solo kid.
20:13
Emily: And.
20:15
Emily: And I just, like, I couldn't see it.
20:18
Emily: Like, I got to a point where I was like, I cannot see this book.
20:20
Emily: Like, it's not.
20:21
Emily: Nothing is working.
20:22
Emily: Nothing's making sense.
20:23
Emily: And I just got really in my head about it, and I started to really hate it.
20:26
Emily: But I was like, I want the first draft done before I go to Maine, because I had a.
20:30
Emily: A very long trip.
20:31
Emily: My brother got married, and then I stayed with my daughter so my husband could fly back and run.
20:37
Emily: I stayed with my daughter, with my parents for a couple of weeks, which was beautifully exhausting and to, like, all of the extents of those two words.
20:50
Emily: But.
20:51
Emily: But, yeah.
20:52
Emily: So I wanted it out of my head before we went to Maine, and I. So I was, like, pushing and pushing when I didn't have the energy to push to try to get to the end of this draft.
21:00
Emily: And then.
21:01
Emily: And then I had to, like, sit back and be like, what's the goal here?
21:04
Emily: Yeah, why am I doing this?
21:05
Emily: Why is it important?
21:07
Emily: And the goal ended up being because I wanted my Alpha reader to be able to read it so that I had somebody to talk to about, because I just felt so alone.
21:14
Emily: I was like, I don't know what's going on in this book, and I don't know how to explain it.
21:18
Emily: So, like, I need someone to read it and see what's there.
21:22
Emily: And she was like, I don't need you to write them.
21:24
Emily: Like, just summarize the last act for me.
21:28
Emily: Like, I'll get it.
21:29
Emily: And I was like, oh, you're right.
21:31
Emily: So in, like, two days, I just wrote scene summaries for everything that I could quote, unquote, see?
21:36
Emily: And then I was like, good luck.
21:37
Emily: And it worked great.
21:38
Emily: It worked out great.
21:39
Emily: But, yeah, that pressure of, like, I need to have this done before vacation or I won't relax is like, it's not true, first of all.
21:46
Emily: Yeah. And.
21:48
Emily: But I fall prey to it all the time.
21:50
Emily: All the time.
21:51
Rachel: And there's varying degrees of doneness, you know, like, because I do think it was very valuable for you to.
21:57
Rachel: To finish it.
21:58
Rachel: It just wasn't finished the way you thought it would be.
22:01
Rachel: You know, like, if you did get it off your plate.
22:04
Rachel: But it wasn't as rigid as, like, done.
22:06
Rachel: Done didn't mean pages drafted for all of those last scenes.
22:12
Rachel: Done meant you got your thoughts out and you were able to hand them over.
22:17
Emily: Yeah.
22:17
Rachel: And then take a break.
22:19
Emily: Which is why I think it's important to know, like, what is your.
22:21
Emily: What's the end goal with whatever your deadline is?
22:23
Emily: Like, yeah.
22:24
Emily: What exactly are you trying to achieve?
22:27
Emily: Because you might be able to achieve it in a different way.
22:30
Emily: Like, hustle culture says, oh, it's not done unless every word is written and like.
22:36
Emily: Or hustle culture says it's not done until all the plot holes are tied up because someone won't understand it.
22:41
Rachel: Right.
22:42
Emily: Like, I just feel like there's so many external voices that tell us lies about.
22:47
Emily: Yeah.
22:48
Emily: What that done needs to mean at any given stage.
22:52
Emily: And that's like, there's always.
22:54
Emily: What is your personal, unique reason or definition for success or done at any given moment.
23:00
Rachel: Yep.
23:01
Rachel: That's why when people ask us the question of, does this.
23:05
Rachel: Does this draft count as being done?
23:08
Rachel: I'm always like, who cares?
23:10
Rachel: Just say it's done.
23:12
Rachel: You. You're allowed to do that.
23:13
Rachel: Nobody is gonna fact check you that, like, nope, it's not done enough.
23:18
Rachel: That doesn't count.
23:19
Rachel: Yes, it does.
23:20
Rachel: If your first draft is done because you did scene summaries of half the scenes, but that's what you needed to do, and it's done.
23:26
Rachel: That's the first draft.
23:27
Emily: Yeah. You get to decide what you call it.
23:29
Emily: There's no real definition.
23:31
Rachel: Yeah.
23:32
Rachel: Yeah. There's so much like, what we expect others to think of us, at least for me.
23:38
Rachel: And like, is it done?
23:38
Rachel: Because if I say it's done, I want people to.
23:43
Rachel: To validate that or to acknowledge that it's done.
23:46
Emily: Yeah.
23:47
Rachel: Then it's like, well, what do they think done means?
23:50
Rachel: I need to hit.
23:51
Rachel: I need to hit what they think done means.
23:53
Emily: Like, yeah.
23:54
Rachel: No. No, you don't.
23:55
Emily: No, you don't.
23:56
Rachel: Yeah.
23:57
Emily: Their definition doesn't matter.
23:59
Rachel: Exactly. Well, I feel like I've done the same thing for the last two books.
24:03
Rachel: Was when I got to act three, and I knew it was all a mess.
24:05
Rachel: I just wrote summaries for the last Act 3, and then I was like, okay, this is done.
24:10
Rachel: I. I won't be able to fix this until I read it again.
24:14
Emily: Was so freeing.
24:16
Emily: I won't lie.
24:17
Rachel: I love that.
24:18
Rachel: So then you got back and he gave you feedback, and now you're just having fun.
24:25
Emily: I got to.
24:26
Emily: Well, I got back and then I was so tired and I had some big work stuff waiting for me because it was really difficult to work while I was.
24:38
Emily: While I was gone, so.
24:40
Emily: And that's fine.
24:41
Emily: Like, I didn't try to push it or hustle or whatever while I was there.
24:44
Emily: I was really trying to be there because I don't get to go home very often, and there were a lot of people there that I don't get to see, like, ever.
24:52
Emily: So because of the wedding.
24:54
Emily: So I really tried to lean into that and that was totally worth it.
24:57
Rachel: And then.
24:58
Emily: And I was kind of transitioning out of first trimester exhaustion, so I was, you know, just like, super tired too.
25:05
Emily: And then I got back and I had to catch up on a bunch of stuff and I just didn't want to write.
25:10
Emily: Like, I just didn't feel like it.
25:12
Emily: Like, it was several weeks before I felt, like, stabilized and, like, on my feet and, like, rested enough to even think about it.
25:19
Emily: And then when I started thinking about it, I still felt hazy.
25:23
Emily: And then just timing wise, it worked out great that I flew with my daughter to see my alpha reader who had read it while I was gone.
25:31
Emily: Yeah, and we had so much fun.
25:32
Emily: We had so much fun.
25:33
Emily: We, like, ripped it apart.
25:34
Emily: I mean, we had note cards everywhere.
25:37
Emily: We were, like, ripping apart all of the scenes and, like, really talking about what I was trying to do with the story and, like, how I was going to do it and, like, what the ending needed to be, because that's where I got stuck.
25:46
Emily: And it was just.
25:47
Emily: I was like, oh, yeah, this is why it's so important to have critique partners.
25:51
Rachel: Yes, yes.
25:53
Emily: So hard to do this alone.
25:54
Emily: But I do think sometimes when I share stuff too early, it's hard for me to be able to articulate what I'm trying to say.
26:00
Emily: Like, it just.
26:01
Emily: I'm not always super aware of what I'm trying to do in my.
26:04
Emily: Even though I'm a plotter, I'm not always super aware of what I'm trying to do at a nuanced level.
26:10
Emily: And so once she had read it, she was like, I think this is what you're trying to do.
26:14
Emily: And there were places where I was like, no, that's not what I'm trying to do.
26:17
Emily: That's naked because that's this character from another book that I wrote.
26:21
Emily: And so we were able to tease that apart and come up with an outline For a revision that I'm very excited about.
26:26
Emily: There's still some really big holes that I'm a little like, how am I gonna fill em?
26:31
Emily: But I'm having fun, so.
26:34
Emily: Yeah, but it's just.
26:35
Emily: It's slower than I usually work.
26:38
Rachel: Yeah. I just don't have the time and energy.
26:41
Emily: Yeah, well, part of it is, it's.
26:43
Emily: I'm not on contract, so I took.
26:46
Emily: I have more work right now than I normally, or not normally, but than I did while I was on contract.
26:53
Emily: So I'm having to, like, adjust to that.
26:55
Emily: Cause I used to have a lot more time to write and I'm really loving the work.
27:00
Emily: Like, it's fun.
27:01
Rachel: For a while there I was.
27:02
Emily: I only had a couple clients that I'd been working with for years, so I wasn't like, challenged to do coaching in like, some new ways and like, work with new brains and faces and stuff and.
27:12
Emily: And stories and so it's been really fun to have new clients.
27:15
Emily: But yeah, it's a lot more time and creative energy.
27:19
Emily: So I'm having to balance that.
27:21
Emily: I'm tired.
27:22
Emily: I'm still like.
27:23
Emily: I'm just tired.
27:24
Emily: Um, and so, like, trying to.
27:28
Emily: I can't run anymore.
27:30
Emily: I was running a lot this spring and it was fantastic.
27:33
Emily: I finally felt like I was like, back in my stride and then.
27:36
Emily: And then I was too tired to run.
27:37
Emily: And then now my hips are like, all messed up and so I can't run.
27:40
Emily: So I've been walking, which takes more time.
27:43
Rachel: Yeah.
27:44
Emily: But it's also like every day that I walk, I, like, have to take a nap.
27:47
Emily: I've noticed there's like a direct correlation of like, I can't make it through the day without a nap.
27:51
Emily: So then it's like, okay, well, I spent time walking and then napping, and now I have less time to write.
27:56
Emily: So, yeah, it's just.
27:58
Emily: There's just lots.
28:00
Emily: And I'm also trying to spend more quality time with my daughter too, because I feel like deadlines have.
28:08
Emily: I have let deadlines steal a little bit of that for me in the past.
28:12
Emily: And new baby is coming, so.
28:15
Emily: And now my husband is like, around and I have the energy.
28:18
Emily: I feel like for a couple months it was survival mode.
28:21
Emily: And that's not great quality time with your kids, but sometimes you're just in it.
28:27
Emily: And so I'm like, okay.
28:28
Emily: I have the energy and time right now to like, really focus on her.
28:31
Emily: And she needs.
28:31
Emily: She's a toddler, so we're in like a behavioral spot where we need a Lot of attention to, like, yeah, how's that going on?
28:39
Emily: Like, what is, you know, teaching her things?
28:41
Emily: It's going well.
28:43
Emily: She is like, too smart for her own good.
28:47
Rachel: Yeah.
28:49
Emily: And so she just says the funniest things.
28:54
Emily: Yeah, it's just, she's, she's starting to like parrot lessons.
28:59
Emily: Like the other day she was like, if you hit me one more time, I'm going to make you take a break or you're going to have to take a break.
29:06
Emily: Who says that to you?
29:06
Emily: I was like, oh, me and your teachers.
29:09
Emily: Like, things like that.
29:10
Emily: Yeah.
29:12
Emily: And so she was like, teaching me what we taught her.
29:14
Emily: So it's like, it's working.
29:15
Emily: But.
29:15
Emily: And I, I find it interesting.
29:17
Emily: I think humans are interesting.
29:18
Emily: It's like, I'm really enjoying this phase of like, how is your brain working?
29:22
Emily: Like, what are you processing?
29:22
Emily: How are you processing things?
29:25
Emily: So it's going well, but it's, it is taking a lot more of my, like, like mental.
29:31
Emily: I gotta pay attention.
29:33
Emily: Check in with your teachers.
29:34
Emily: We have to talk things through and like, do a lot more of that, like, focused parenting versus the like, time parenting of changing diapers and feeding babies.
29:44
Emily: Yes.
29:44
Emily: It's like a different mental stage.
29:47
Emily: But no, it is, it's going, it's going well.
29:49
Emily: And she had such a crazy summer.
29:51
Emily: Cause we just, we were gone.
29:54
Rachel: Yeah.
29:55
Emily: And she had no routine and didn't have her teachers and her friends and her, you know, stability.
30:01
Emily: And so there was just.
30:02
Emily: And then my husband was gone a lot and then he was.
30:05
Emily: We were in Maine without him for several weeks.
30:07
Emily: So there was just like a lot of stuff going on that was not normal for her.
30:11
Emily: She's a very routine oriented kid.
30:13
Emily: So I think that just like aligned with the behavioral stuff.
30:17
Emily: And so now that we're back home and in a routine and like returning to life, we're working on that a little bit later.
30:25
Emily: So. Yeah. So there's just long story short or long story long.
30:29
Emily: There's just not as much time in the day to write.
30:32
Emily: So I'm trying to, but there's also no pressure to, like, I don't have deadlines right now.
30:38
Emily: Like, it's all, it's all very personally driven.
30:42
Emily: So I'm really trying to just be like, okay, if we're not having fun, there's no point right now.
30:49
Emily: So.
30:49
Emily: And I am.
30:50
Emily: I'm finding a lot of joy in this draft so far.
30:53
Emily: So it's only been two weeks, so we'll see.
30:56
Emily: Knock on wood.
30:57
Rachel: Fun though.
30:58
Rachel: I mean, that's a good start.
30:59
Rachel: To come back into it with just a goal of letting it be fun.
31:04
Emily: Yeah. Yeah.
31:06
Emily: And trying not to overdo it, because sometimes when it's fun, it's all I want to do.
31:09
Emily: And then everything else goes to crap, and then.
31:12
Emily: Then it's not fun anymore because my life is a chance.
31:16
Emily: But, yeah.
31:17
Emily: What about you?
31:17
Emily: You're almost done?
31:19
Rachel: I'm almost done.
31:20
Rachel: I'm almost done.
31:21
Rachel: I. Your series.
31:24
Emily: Like, not just done, but, like, done done.
31:27
Rachel: I know the series.
31:28
Rachel: And again, I'm gonna collapse in on myself in October.
31:32
Rachel: Scheduled.
31:33
Rachel: Not yet, but the series will be done.
31:36
Rachel: So I won't have any, like, lingering background books that I need to write.
31:43
Rachel: So I'm gonna take a little break from writing.
31:48
Rachel: I know what book I'm writing next.
31:49
Rachel: I've got the covers.
31:50
Rachel: I know when they're gonna come out.
31:52
Rachel: I don't know when they're gonna come out.
31:53
Rachel: I know which ones are coming next.
31:55
Rachel: But I definitely need some time off.
31:58
Rachel: But right now I'm doing.
31:59
Rachel: So over the summer.
32:01
Rachel: I finished the first draft of this in, like, April.
32:03
Rachel: I don't know.
32:04
Rachel: I rewrote so much of it.
32:06
Rachel: A lot.
32:06
Rachel: I rewrote a ton of it and reworked a ton of it.
32:09
Rachel: So I did a lot of that for the first half of the summer.
32:12
Rachel: And then I sent the book out for beta readers the beginning of July, and I got beta reader feedback.
32:17
Rachel: And then I actually had kind of a slower July because I was really tired.
32:23
Rachel: And I've been working on this other book for my client and then.
32:29
Rachel: And then the puppy.
32:31
Rachel: So we got a puppy, and I said that, but she's been crazy.
32:36
Rachel: Then I had to, like, make all the beta reader feedback changes and then do line editing.
32:41
Rachel: So I've been doing line editing for a couple weeks, and it's been going fine.
32:45
Rachel: That's good.
32:46
Rachel: It's just.
32:47
Rachel: This is my longest book, so I'm like, over how long it is.
32:52
Rachel: I've line edited, like, 60.
32:54
Rachel: Let's see, as of this morning, 69 chapters I've line edited, and I've got eight left or nine left.
33:02
Rachel: So I'm like, damn.
33:04
Rachel: This book is currently.
33:06
Emily: She's chonky.
33:08
Rachel: She chonky.
33:09
Rachel: It's. So the line edits have helped.
33:11
Rachel: It is currently now at 165.
33:15
Rachel: 166,000 words.
33:17
Rachel: It was over 170 at one point.
33:21
Rachel: Shilong.
33:23
Rachel: And then I've been writing the bonus scene.
33:25
Rachel: You're gonna laugh at this.
33:26
Rachel: So the bonus.
33:28
Rachel: The book itself has an epilogue, which, Emily, you have read, and it's like an epilogue 15 years into the future.
33:35
Rachel: So we know, like, what's happening.
33:37
Rachel: It's the end of the series.
33:38
Rachel: We know where these characters have gone 15 years in the future.
33:41
Rachel: But I'm writing a bonus scene for my email magnet.
33:44
Rachel: So it will be at the end of the book to be like, oh, if you want to see the bonus, you can download this scene and you'll get on my email list.
33:55
Rachel: This is not.
33:56
Rachel: We know I'm writing a romance, so everybody knows this is a happily ever after.
34:00
Rachel: Okay?
34:00
Rachel: So I'm not spoiling anything.
34:02
Rachel: I'm writing their wedding.
34:05
Rachel: Like, everybody getting married to each other.
34:07
Emily: Oh, my gosh, that's adorable.
34:09
Rachel: That's going to be the bonus.
34:11
Rachel: I started writing it thinking, like, oh, cute, cute little wedding scene.
34:16
Rachel: This is going to be so cute and easy because it's just a wedding ceremony.
34:21
Rachel: I started writing it and I was like, ooh, let's insert a cultural thing.
34:27
Rachel: Because weddings are highly cultural, especially for, like non white cultures.
34:33
Rachel: Me, I am just like a little white girl from the Midwest.
34:36
Rachel: I don't have culture.
34:39
Rachel: There is no culture in my family.
34:41
Rachel: Just standard Western wedding.
34:44
Rachel: No exciting bells and whistles.
34:46
Rachel: So I was like, oh, let's add in a culture thing.
34:49
Rachel: I have like six different cultures for all these different guys.
34:55
Rachel: So then I was like, every single guy has to have a cultural thing in this wedding.
35:01
Rachel: So there are Nigerian cultural traditions, there are Colombian cultural traditions, there are Japanese cultural traditions, there are Italian cultural traditions.
35:10
Emily: Now it's 10,000 words.
35:13
Rachel: Literally started writing it and I just thought it was going to be like 2,000 words.
35:20
Rachel: I met 2,000 words.
35:21
Rachel: We're not even to the ceremony yet, baby.
35:23
Rachel: Like, we.
35:25
Rachel: It's going to be really long.
35:27
Rachel: So I thought that was going to be easy.
35:30
Rachel: But I don't do things half ass.
35:35
Rachel: We're going full in for this multicultural, deeply meaningful wedding.
35:43
Rachel: Also, every character is getting a point of view.
35:46
Rachel: So it will be a short story versus a bonus scene.
35:51
Emily: Oh, my God, that's amazing.
35:53
Emily: Everyone is getting a point of view.
35:56
Rachel: Everyone's getting a point of view.
35:57
Rachel: Everyone's getting a point of view.
35:58
Rachel: Everyone has their own little meaningful moments.
36:01
Rachel: It's now it's gone from the wedding ceremony to getting ready for the wedding.
36:07
Rachel: The wedding ceremony, the reception, and then the end of the end of the late night.
36:11
Emily: And then spice.
36:13
Rachel: No spice.
36:14
Emily: No spice.
36:15
Emily: Okay?
36:15
Rachel: Because I was like, I could have either done all spice or I wanted it to be just this cute little wedding scene.
36:22
Rachel: I didn't want it to be spicy at all.
36:24
Rachel: So we're not doing spice, but now it's gonna be, like, 8, 000 words of a wedding reception.
36:30
Rachel: So I hope you like it, everyone.
36:32
Rachel: If you don't, I'm gonna be really mad.
36:37
Emily: Oh, my gosh.
36:38
Rachel: But I can't not do it because I was, like, writing it, and the more I wrote, the more I wrote, I, like, opened up this massive can of words because I was trying to describe, like, Leona's wedding dress.
36:49
Emily: Yeah.
36:49
Rachel: And I was like, okay, she would have chosen a wedding dress, like, a white wedding dress.
36:53
Rachel: And then I was like, well, white is a Western tradition.
36:56
Rachel: And, like, specifically for her in.
36:58
Rachel: As an American citizen, she's gonna have a Western wedding.
37:02
Rachel: And then I was like, well, why would she have a Western wedding when, like, a lot of her men are not Western.
37:07
Rachel: Culturally Western?
37:09
Rachel: So then.
37:10
Rachel: Then it just opened this big can of worms, and I was like, if I'm gonna do it justice, I've gotta, like, incorporate little things.
37:15
Rachel: So it's not gonna be like.
37:16
Rachel: I'm trying to be very tasteful and, like.
37:19
Emily: Yeah.
37:19
Rachel: Not go over the top.
37:20
Rachel: But I do wanna.
37:23
Rachel: I do want to, like, incorporate other things.
37:27
Rachel: So, anyway, that's.
37:29
Rachel: I'm also writing that, and that's gonna have to be done before the book comes out.
37:34
Rachel: But we'll get to that when I'm done line editing.
37:37
Rachel: So I'm gonna finish line edits so I can send out arcs, and then I will finish writing the bonus scene for when the book comes out.
37:44
Emily: Man, we really love to give ourselves work, don't we?
37:48
Rachel: I know.
37:50
Rachel: I. It could have just been a cute.
37:52
Rachel: I do.
37:53
Emily: No, it couldn't.
37:54
Emily: It couldn't.
37:55
Emily: I think you're right.
37:56
Emily: I think you're right.
37:56
Emily: To stay true to them.
37:57
Emily: They all need to be represented.
37:59
Rachel: Yeah, they all need to be represented at least a little bit.
38:02
Rachel: And then I was like, well, a little bit.
38:04
Rachel: These.
38:05
Rachel: Some of these cultures have really important traditions, and I do feel like I would be just cutting them out to save word count, and that wouldn't really.
38:14
Rachel: I don't feel like that's fair.
38:16
Rachel: And I don't think Leona would want that.
38:18
Rachel: Like, Leona would want it to be an over the top.
38:20
Rachel: I mean, she's a rich socialite.
38:23
Rachel: She would want it to be a wedding.
38:24
Rachel: Right.
38:25
Rachel: Also, it takes place on a private island that they bought.
38:28
Rachel: So I have to now describe the private island resort that they live on that they bought, because one time in the book, Leona said to Cass, I want to buy you a private island.
38:37
Rachel: So then now this is happening.
38:40
Rachel: On a private island.
38:41
Rachel: Because she said that.
38:45
Emily: The things our characters do to us.
38:46
Emily: I love it.
38:47
Rachel: I know it's not me.
38:49
Rachel: I'm just.
38:49
Rachel: It's flowing through me.
38:50
Rachel: They're the problematic ones, not me.
38:54
Rachel: Oh, that's not problematic.
38:55
Rachel: They are the problems.
38:56
Rachel: They are flowing their problems through me onto the page.
38:59
Rachel: It's not my choice.
39:01
Emily: Yes, they're doing it.
39:02
Emily: That is how it feels.
39:04
Emily: Yeah.
39:06
Rachel: Well, we're here.
39:07
Emily: We're here.
39:08
Emily: We're back to school.
39:11
Emily: We're back on the podcast.
39:13
Emily: We've got some fun stuff coming up.
39:17
Emily: Yeah, we're gonna find some kind of semblance of routine while also navigating the roller coaster of being sick all the time.
39:26
Rachel: Yep, we've already been sick.
39:28
Rachel: Rose went to school Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, got sick.
39:31
Rachel: On Friday was a little bit better.
39:33
Rachel: We had a birthday party.
39:34
Rachel: Rose turned six this last weekend, everyone.
39:38
Rachel: And we had this really big birthday party.
39:41
Rachel: It was super fun.
39:42
Rachel: But then she.
39:44
Rachel: The next morning, woke up very sick.
39:47
Rachel: Not very sick.
39:48
Rachel: It was a cold, but, like, sick enough to where she couldn't go to school.
39:52
Rachel: And then the next day, she was like, I still feel sick.
39:56
Rachel: She didn't have a fever, but it was that weird zone where you're like, yeah, I don't.
40:02
Rachel: You definitely are still spreading germs.
40:05
Rachel: Like, you're snotty and sneezy, and someone else is gonna get sick because of you.
40:10
Rachel: You could technically go, yeah, those are the hardest days.
40:15
Rachel: Exactly.
40:17
Rachel: So then I kept her home again.
40:18
Rachel: And then meanwhile.
40:19
Rachel: So Monday night, she was sick.
40:21
Rachel: Monday.
40:23
Rachel: Monday night, she didn't sleep very good.
40:26
Rachel: Cause she's stuffy.
40:27
Rachel: So she came into our bed, and she slept next to me all night.
40:30
Emily: Oh, no.
40:30
Rachel: So then I woke up sick because of all the germs of her sleeping on my face all night.
40:36
Rachel: Germs.
40:36
Rachel: So then that's when I got sick on Tuesday.
40:42
Emily: Here we go.
40:44
Emily: Here we go.
40:44
Rachel: We're back in it.
40:46
Rachel: But hopefully it's not too long.
40:47
Emily: A new season of.
40:48
Emily: New season of the year.
40:51
Emily: Illness.
40:52
Rachel: Yeah, we need a whole new thing of germs.
40:56
Rachel: A whole new group of children.
40:57
Rachel: We've got.
40:58
Rachel: Everybody's immune systems has to align.
41:00
Rachel: And then before we know it, it'll be snowing.
41:04
Emily: Yeah.
41:04
Rachel: And then we'll have missed snow days.
41:06
Rachel: A new baby.
41:07
Rachel: A new baby.
41:10
Rachel: Crazy weekend.
41:11
Rachel: Maternity leave, new schedules.
41:15
Emily: Yeah. All right.
41:16
Emily: But.
41:17
Emily: But for now, we are here.
41:19
Emily: We are gonna have some fun episodes for you.
41:23
Emily: And.
41:25
Emily: Yeah, I feel like there was something I was gonna say, and then I just, like, totally blacked out.
41:29
Emily: Oh, the thing I was gonna say is we always need episode ideas.
41:33
Emily: So if you guys want to ask us questions or tell us to talk about something specific writing related, Please email us infooldenmayediting.com which will be in the show notes.
41:49
Emily: And the subject title should be Podcast question.
41:51
Emily: Yes, yes, and we will.
41:54
Rachel: Wait, what was the email you said info at?
41:58
Rachel: That will be fine.
41:59
Rachel: You could also email us at podcast.
42:02
Emily: See, I forgot we had it.
42:03
Rachel: Been a long time since we've done this.
42:05
Emily: Either one.
42:06
Emily: We'll get your email, guys, even if you screw up.
42:09
Rachel: Really?
42:09
Rachel: I mean, they both feed to the same inbox, so.
42:14
Emily: Yeah, but send us.
42:15
Emily: Send us your stuff.
42:16
Emily: We would love to talk about whatever it is that you want us to talk about.
42:20
Emily: We're always looking for ideas.
42:22
Emily: It makes it easier for us.
42:23
Emily: So, yeah, send them in.
42:26
Emily: And yeah, we will be here next week.
42:29
Rachel: Cool. All right.
42:31
Emily: If you want to build a successful, fulfilling and sustainable writing life that works for you, you've got to get on our email list.
42:37
Rachel: Sign up now to get our free email course, the Magic of Character Arcs.
42:40
Rachel: After seven days of email magic, you'll have the power to keep your readers flipping pages all through the night.
42:45
Emily: Link in the show notes.
42:46
Emily: We'll see you there.