Latest / The Parenting Podcast / Welcome to The Parenting Podcast! | Ep. 00

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Welcome to The Parenting Podcast! | Ep. 00 · The Parenting Podcast

• 0:01
  Cheryl: Welcome to the parenting podcast, moms.
• 0:05
  Cheryl: We're so excited.
• 0:06
  Cheryl: You're here.
• 0:07
  Cheryl: What we thought we'd do is just take some time, introduce ourselves to you.
• 0:12
  Cheryl: And also the TPP.
• 0:14
  Cheryl: So we're your hosts.
• 0:17
  Cheryl: I'm Cheryl Lange
• 0:18
  Ellen: and I am Ellen Etzler And We're both from Edmond, Oklahoma, at least that's where we live right now.
• 0:25
  Ellen: Tell me a little bit about what we're going to be doing in the parenting podcast.
• 0:28
  Cheryl: Okay.
• 0:29
  Cheryl (2): This idea just came from Well, two decades, we've known each other and we talk and we meet with moms.
• 0:34
  Cheryl (2): I've been in parenting ministry for those two decades.
• 0:38
  Cheryl (2): And increasingly as my kids have left home.
• 0:41
  Cheryl (2): And so actually the idea came from one of my grown daughters and she said, mom, if y'all really want to have some impact, you need to do a podcast.
• 0:52
  Ellen: Yeah podcasts are really popular.
• 0:54
  Ellen: I listen to a couple of them, that are my favorites.
• 0:57
  Ellen: And it's just a really nice way to get some information or just relax while you're doing things
• 1:04
  Cheryl: And this is what we want to do.
• 1:05
  Cheryl: We just want to invite all of you.
• 1:07
  Cheryl: This room is a little bit too small to have you here with us, but seriously, where ever you are in your parenting journey.
• 1:14
  Cheryl: However, you became a mom.
• 1:17
  Cheryl: We want the parenting podcast to be for all moms in all situations, all stages from the very beginning.
• 1:25
  Cheryl: And certainly Ellen, I really want us to address regularly about releasing our kids and keeping that relationship in older teens, and then as they move on into their own adult lives.
• 1:38
  Ellen: Yeah, I think that's really important because really you never stop parenting
• 1:42
  Cheryl (2): But what we want to do, we wanted to be impact and have a wonderful, loving relationship with our children when they were growing up And I don't want that to stop.
• 1:53
  Cheryl (2): I want to be.
• 1:55
  Cheryl (2): If I can good friends with my kids, and I certainly don't want our relationship to falter.
• 2:02
  Cheryl (2): I want it to grow in their adult lives and not reminding them to brush their teeth.
• 2:09
  Cheryl (2): No, but life and the important things
• 2:11
  Ellen: and then the joy of having grandkids coming along and just being able to love them.
• 2:16
  Ellen: Even in a way you wish you would have loved your own children and knew how to handle situations when you were a young mom
• 2:23
  Cheryl: How many children do you have Ellen?
• 2:24
  Cheryl: Well, I have five And how many grandchildren?
• 2:27
  Ellen: Well, I am so fortunate.
• 2:29
  Ellen: I have 16.
• 2:30
  Ellen: And maybe more down the road.
• 2:32
  Ellen: We don't know.
• 2:33
  Cheryl: Wonderful.
• 2:33
  Cheryl: Bill and I have five children.
• 2:35
  Cheryl: And so far I have five grandchildren, but I would love to get in the competition with you because it is a delight.
• 2:43
  Cheryl: But part of that's, what we bring is all of these decades.
• 2:46
  Cheryl: You know, if we figured it up raising our children to adulthood together, cause we have 10 children that's 200 years.
• 2:55
  Ellen: That's right.
• 2:55
  Cheryl: Of just Parenting and all the junk and all the mess and all the stages and then you start adding multiple children.
• 3:05
  Cheryl: because suddenly you're dealing with all these relationships and middle children and there's just so much, and that's what I want us to bring to the parenting podcast.
• 3:14
  Ellen: Yeah.
• 3:15
  Ellen: Cause relationships.
• 3:17
  Ellen: Are such a foundation for life.
• 3:19
  Ellen: We all want to have good relationships with the ones we love.
• 3:22
  Cheryl: Yes.
• 3:23
  Cheryl: And we're all a mess.
• 3:24
  Ellen: Yes, that is true.
• 3:26
  Cheryl: So if you're coming for"listen to us in six weeks, we'll fix everything." This is not the place.
• 3:31
  Ellen: No, it's not!
• 3:33
  Cheryl (2): There's no formula, but what we do want to do is have relevant conversations so that we can bring practical help,
• 3:42
  Ellen: Encouragement
• 3:43
  Cheryl: Very much encouragement, and I would say.
• 3:47
  Cheryl: From the very beginning, when we started talking about this idea, the word hope really came in.
• 3:53
  Cheryl: Actually moms, we had started in late 2019, and then in the spring, in March,
• 4:00
  Ellen: The event happened!
• 4:02
  Cheryl: We were hoping to start and produce our first episode, and then, covid happened.
• 4:08
  Cheryl: So here we are a year later and actually the relationships, and the engagement, and hope, I think are more important than they ever were before.
• 4:17
  Ellen: Well, think everybody was locked down with their families and they got to see the strength and weaknesses in themselves, in their relationships and their relationships with their children.
• 4:28
  Ellen: And, you know, some of it was positive and some of it was really hard.
• 4:32
  Cheryl: It was hard.
• 4:33
  Cheryl: I would define hope.
• 4:35
  Cheryl: Not what I said while ago,"oh, don't worry about it.
• 4:39
  Cheryl: It's going to work out really fine, just do the ta-da", but real true hope Ellen.
• 4:45
  Ellen: The hope that keeps you going to the next day, and the next day, and the next day.
• 4:52
  Cheryl (2): What we want to say is hang in there.
• 4:57
  Cheryl (2): Keep loving, keep persevering, keep at it because it's really worth it.
• 5:03
  Ellen: Find flourishing life in it.
• 5:06
  Cheryl: Yes.
• 5:06
  Ellen: Meaning find joy, joy in what you're doing.
• 5:09
  Cheryl: Not ignoring the hard stuff.
• 5:11
  Ellen: No.
• 5:11
  Cheryl: Because as you all get to know more about us, we've had some really tragic, hard things in our lives, but, we want to share some of the hope.
• 5:21
  Ellen: Yes.
• 5:22
  Cheryl: And equip you with practical things, just from our viewpoint.
• 5:25
  Ellen: And we will certainly share our failures too!
• 5:28
  Cheryl: Ha!
• 5:28
  Ellen: Because, at least in my case, those probably outweigh the other stuff!
• 5:33
  Cheryl: And talk about"200 years" and that's probably 197 years of mistakes.!
• 5:39
  Ellen: Yes!
• 5:40
  Cheryl: And a few perks along the way!
• 5:42
  Ellen: If it could be done, I've probably done it.
• 5:45
  Cheryl: Well, what you didn't I did.
• 5:46
  Ellen: Yes, between the two of us.
• 5:47
  Cheryl: One of the things I'm really excited about is I want to do interviews.
• 5:53
  Cheryl: And so for example, I have a good friend and she's a family counselor.
• 5:57
  Cheryl: Amazing! So much insight and I've learned so much from her! I just, I want to be friends, and then I go"now tell me about this""what about this""help me with this".
• 6:07
  Cheryl: That sort of interview, but also interview moms.
• 6:11
  Cheryl: For example, Ellen, in the last week I've been with two friends who are in the releasing and young adult stages.
• 6:19
  Cheryl: They're great moms, they've done an incredible job, but part of this releasing adult stage, a lot of those weaknesses you're talking about really rise to the surface.
• 6:30
  Cheryl: And each of them was talking to me saying,"it's my anger, I hate my anger so much, and I battled it, prayed about it, worked on it, and it's still such a struggle".
• 6:43
  Cheryl: And one of them said,"Yeah, even when I look back on the mistakes I made, I did it trying to keep my children from not developing the same tendencies".
• 6:54
  Ellen: Yeah, or keep them safe and make them better than I am.
• 6:57
  Cheryl: Yes.
• 6:57
  Ellen: And, you know, just trying to control those things, and these are all the stuff we'll be talking about.
• 7:02
  Ellen: Because I think mom, or parent anger, is really prevalent.
• 7:07
  Ellen: And I think most people don't want to admit it or talk about it, but we want to make it a free thing to talk about.
• 7:13
  Ellen: Because when you talk about it, you can get help.
• 7:16
  Ellen: You can learn how to move forward.
• 7:17
  Ellen: You can learn what's legitimate anger and what's illegitimate anger.
• 7:21
  Cheryl: That's true.
• 7:21
  Ellen: So I think that'll be a good future topic for us.
• 7:24
  Ellen: And, I think multiple times.
• 7:26
  Ellen: Because there are different people, different perspectives, and it's just not a quick fix, like"quit being angry".
• 7:33
  Ellen: Right.
• 7:33
  Cheryl: "Quit being prideful".
• 7:35
  Cheryl: Hmm great, ha ha ha! All right, so Ellen, tell a little more about you.
• 7:40
  Cheryl: Y'all can see, she's wonderful.
• 7:42
  Cheryl: Tell us some more about you.
• 7:43
  Ellen: Well, I was born and raised in Southern California.
• 7:47
  Ellen: And I
• 7:47
  Cheryl: really
• 7:48
  Ellen: had a fun, well, living in Southern California, it's just fun!
• 7:51
  Cheryl: There's a reason people live in southern California!
• 7:54
  Ellen: Exactly, yes! And this was back in the sixties and seventies, before it was overly crowded.
• 7:57
  Ellen: So lots of times at the beach, and just being outdoors.
• 8:01
  Ellen: As a teenager we had horses and animals and things like that.
• 8:05
  Ellen: And believe it or not, in the valley in Southern California, I walked to school on dirt roads.
• 8:11
  Ellen: Everybody thinks that's so funny because I think of it as this big modern city, but we lived out in the suburbs and walked to school.
• 8:17
  Cheryl: And didn't you say you wore bathing suits to school?
• 8:20
  Ellen: Yeah, you always wore your bathing suit underneath your
• 8:22
  Cheryl: clothes.
• 8:23
  Cheryl: Okay! Because I was thinking...
• 8:25
  Ellen: Oh! You were thinking I was just wearing a bikini walking down the street!
• 8:29
  Cheryl: Wow.
• 8:29
  Cheryl: You know, California has a reputation!
• 8:31
  Ellen: No, my parents would not have allowed that! But we wore them underneath so that during lunchtime, when you laid out on the quad in the sunshine, you could work on your tan.
• 8:40
  Ellen: Because I mean, that was a real status thing.
• 8:43
  Cheryl: And then the moment you could get out
• 8:45
  Ellen: Yeah, we went straight to the beach.
• 8:47
  Ellen: And I'm not condoning skipping school, but when we did skip school, we didn't do anything wrong.
• 8:53
  Ellen: We headed either to the beach or we headed to the mall.
• 8:56
  Ellen: I mean, that was our idea of fun.
• 8:59
  Ellen: And just hung out all day and hoped we didn't get caught.
• 9:01
  Ellen: I mean, if you come home with a sunburn, your mom probably knows you haven't been at school all day! But...
• 9:07
  Cheryl: Ha! Well, tell them about Mike, and then what your life has been.
• 9:11
  Ellen: Well, Mike and I met in high school.
• 9:14
  Ellen: We were in the same youth group.
• 9:15
  Ellen: He was the president of the youth group.
• 9:17
  Cheryl: But a beach bum too.
• 9:18
  Ellen: Yeah, oh definitely! He was a surfer boy.
• 9:20
  Ellen: So, we had that obviously in common.
• 9:22
  Ellen: And he liked me before I liked him.
• 9:25
  Ellen: And then one day I realized, oh, I do like Mike.
• 9:29
  Ellen: And so we just sort of started dating very casually.
• 9:31
  Ellen: And I think we both knew that we were the ones for each other even though I was 17 and he was just turning 18.
• 9:39
  Ellen: So the minute I graduated high school we got married and we've been married 47 years.
• 9:46
  Cheryl: Congratulations.
• 9:47
  Ellen: Thank you! And he's still my best friend and a lot of fun.
• 9:50
  Ellen: He's the more serious of the two of us.
• 9:52
  Ellen: So, you know, he always has the logical side of"Ellen, you shouldn't do this because that might hurt" Ha ha! We've moved, well, we've moved a total of 19 times in 30 years.
• 10:07
  Ellen: Because he was active duty air force and that sent us around the world, which I love that lifestyle.
• 10:13
  Ellen: I loved moving and meeting new people and things like that.
• 10:16
  Ellen: And, we finally settled here in Edmond, Oklahoma, and we've been here for almost 20 years.
• 10:22
  Ellen: So the last couple of our children were raised in Oklahoma.
• 10:26
  Ellen: When we got here, our youngest was 10.
• 10:28
  Cheryl: Okay, so two questions.
• 10:30
  Cheryl: First one is: what gives your heart joy?
• 10:34
  Ellen: Well, I think of course family.
• 10:38
  Ellen: And I always tell my friends if I'm having a bad day, I just go grab a grandkid because they all live in town!
• 10:45
  Cheryl: So that means if every day was a bad day, you would only have to repeat twice in a month!
• 10:50
  Ellen: That's very true! But you know there's just something about a grandkid and a grandparent relationship that, you know, there are not the same potholes that you have when you're, a parent.
• 11:01
  Ellen: So you can just enjoy each other's company.
• 11:03
  Ellen: And we have grand kids in their twenties all the way down to eight months, so I can pick a variety! We try to have kids over frequently.
• 11:12
  Cheryl: So delightful.
• 11:12
  Cheryl: Okay, another question: tell them something about you that it might take them a while to figure it out.
• 11:18
  Ellen: I am a visual artist and I work for the Chickasaw nation, I'm considered a Chickasaw artist.
• 11:23
  Cheryl: Oh, wait, wait, wait! Tell him your Chickasaw name!
• 11:25
  Ellen: I was just getting ready to do that! My Chickasaw name is Foshi Ayoppa which means"happy bird" in Chickasaw.
• 11:31
  Ellen: And my cousin named me that.
• 11:34
  Ellen: You have to be named by an elder in the tribe.
• 11:37
  Ellen: And so she named me that a couple of years ago.
• 11:41
  Ellen: I really enjoy my life with the Chickasaws and the opportunities that they've offered me as an artist.
• 11:48
  Ellen: Once my kids got old enough, I had always loved art, but I never knew that I would have the freedom to actually be an artist.
• 11:56
  Ellen: Sell my artwork, show my artwork,
• 11:58
  Cheryl: You know, I love your watercolor.
• 12:00
  Ellen: Thank you.
• 12:01
  Cheryl: I love your birds that you do in watercolor.
• 12:04
  Cheryl: When y'all get to know Ellen better, you'll understand why she's"Happy Bird".
• 12:10
  Cheryl: That really is her.
• 12:12
  Ellen: Well, Cheryl, not just about me, what about you?
• 12:14
  Ellen: Where are you originally from?
• 12:16
  Cheryl: I'm a Texan and we moved a lot, but nothing like what you've done, and moved around a number of places before with my family.
• 12:25
  Cheryl: And then Bill and I did mostly for business or school.
• 12:29
  Ellen: Oh tell us where you met Bill, that's kind of cool.
• 12:31
  Cheryl: Ha ha! It really is! I guess the interesting thing is I was a French major and Bill was a German major and we went to the same university.
• 12:40
  Cheryl: So that means we were literally on the same floor for foreign languages and we did not know each other.
• 12:46
  Cheryl: And then the university offered a summer study program at the university of Strasbourg and both of us went and then that's where we met.
• 12:55
  Cheryl: So I fell in love with two things that summer: Absolutely, man oh man, Bill Lange, and with travel.
• 13:03
  Cheryl: It was fabulous, and so it's a fun story.
• 13:05
  Cheryl: Actually, my kids laugh when I tell the whole story, and say it sounds like Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks, and one of their old,"You've Got Mail" type comedies just with what really happened and the way it happened.
• 13:23
  Cheryl: And they enjoyed hearing it because knowing it's us.
• 13:28
  Cheryl: Then how we went through different things and he misheard my name and decided I was the best looking chick of all these people.
• 13:38
  Cheryl: And for days thought my name was Carol Doescher.
• 13:42
  Cheryl: And so I don't have.
• 13:44
  Cheryl: The art ability that you have.
• 13:46
  Cheryl: I married art, talent, and I gave birth to talent, but I have this talent for appreciation.
• 13:52
  Ellen: Ya, you are a great appreciater.
• 13:52
  Cheryl: I greatly appreciate art, I do, just all beauty.
• 13:57
  Ellen: Yes you do.
• 13:57
  Cheryl: Whether it's music or architecture or beautiful places or interesting people,
• 14:01
  Ellen: but you're a very talented teacher.
• 14:03
  Ellen: I know you're being humble, but you're a very good teacher.
• 14:06
  Cheryl: Well, I've got some talents, but it's not in the art realm except for appreciation.
• 14:11
  Cheryl: And so teaching.
• 14:12
  Cheryl: So one of the things I've done have been in parenting ministry and teaching ministry for about 20 years and then.
• 14:20
  Cheryl: Slowly increasing.
• 14:22
  Cheryl: And then as my kids were.
• 14:24
  Cheryl: Empty nesting out, then it's been more
• 14:27
  Ellen: and more time to give to it
• 14:29
  Cheryl (2): Podcasting is a Brand new thing.
• 14:31
  Cheryl (2): I've done a lot of stuff, but have not done a podcast.
• 14:34
  Ellen: Yeah.
• 14:34
  Cheryl: So I'm looking forward to it
• 14:35
  Ellen: this is the first time for both of us.
• 14:38
  Ellen: I've talked a lot in my life, but not in front of a mic.
• 14:41
  Cheryl: Okay.
• 14:41
  Cheryl: But if you want to know something kind of different about me is I really am a hippy.
• 14:46
  Cheryl: And so I love natural as natural as you can get.
• 14:50
  Cheryl: I guess it goes back to the seventies.
• 14:52
  Cheryl: I latched on to it.
• 14:54
  Cheryl: And so love.
• 14:57
  Cheryl: My flowers and my bees and everything as natural as we can get it.
• 15:04
  Cheryl: And in fact, I love camping.
• 15:05
  Cheryl: And so not now, but in the past would love to go like real camping where you're not around other people and you have to bring everything in and sleep on the ground.
• 15:15
  Cheryl: And I know that's not your cup of tea
• 15:16
  Ellen: I was going to say that's one area we will never, we will never share.
• 15:21
  Cheryl: But we share a Love of traveling
• 15:23
  Ellen: And a love of beauty, but it's a sleeping bag on the ground.
• 15:27
  Ellen: No, thank you.
• 15:28
  Ellen: If you invite me to a cabin in the woods, I'll go.
• 15:32
  Cheryl: Yeah.
• 15:32
  Cheryl: And that's where I am now.
• 15:34
  Cheryl: So I wouldn't do that.
• 15:35
  Cheryl: But with that, I haven't lost a love of this.
• 15:37
  Cheryl: I love fishing, so I really enjoy it and not a lot opportunities and not a lot of situations where I can do it, but like, if you're going to design a getaway for me, I would love to go up north where the Rocky mountains or the grand Tetons, where they have those beautiful rivers coming down from Canada and to be in a boat and go down the river and fish I'd love someone, teach me how to fly fish, all of that, and don't want to sleep out there.
• 16:10
  Cheryl: But like you said, if there were a cabin, I'd stay in the cabin and go out the next day.
• 16:16
  Cheryl: Let's see anything else, Ellen
• 16:17
  Ellen: No, we've known each other for 20 years have been good friends, through different tragedies and good times.
• 16:24
  Cheryl (2): So mom, that's kind of a little bit about who we are.
• 16:28
  Cheryl (2): What we really want to do is connect with you.
• 16:30
  Cheryl (2): So we can't have all of you here in this room.
• 16:34
  Cheryl (2): But we really would like to come alongside you, go to our website, www the parenting podcast.com.
• 16:44
  Cheryl (2): We post our episodes on Thursdays, so you can always listen to a new one or on the website, we'll be having more and more different resources blogs just developing that So we have just more to give to you.
• 17:00
  Cheryl (2): Anytime you can get in touch with us, connect@theparentingpodcast.com.
• 17:05
  Cheryl (2): So we want your questions.
• 17:07
  Cheryl (2): We want your comments because that will help us Ellen because we want to be relevant how to shape what we're going to do.
• 17:14
  Cheryl (2): And we can't answer everything.
• 17:17
  Cheryl (2): But we really do want to hear from you.
• 17:19
  Cheryl (2): And so we can reach out to you.
• 17:21
  Ellen: Because I think parenting in this era is so hard.
• 17:26
  Ellen: There are just so many more things
• 17:28
  Cheryl: It is.
• 17:28
  Ellen: That you, moms and dads have to deal with.
• 17:31
  Cheryl (2): I would say a lot of the core stuff a lot of the trappings are the same, but it's just so complicated.
• 17:37
  Ellen: Yes.
• 17:38
  Cheryl: Very complicated.
• 17:40
  Cheryl: So moms, this is kind of who we are and.
• 17:44
  Cheryl: We just look forward to talking with you again on Thursdays.
• 17:49
  Ellen: Yeah.
• 17:49
  Ellen: See you then.