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Beautifully Blended - Making it Work with God at the Center - 232 · Marriage Life and More and Bible Study

• 0:05
  Vicky Albious: I look over after, you know, pastor closes service and I'm in, curious still, just tears are just flowing down her face.
• 0:12
  Vicky Albious: And that's what you, just that's what this is about, you know, just living this life and living God with your kids daily.
• 0:22
  Vicky Albious: You know, that's one thing.
• 0:23
  Vicky Albious: You know, we don't every day say, make sure you're doing your devotional, make sure you're doing this, make sure you're doing it.
• 0:30
  Vicky Albious: No, it is literally living a life of Jesus in front of them.
• 0:35
  Scottie Albious: The kids need to see.
• 0:36
  Scottie Albious: You're hungry for the Lord, you're hungry in worship, you're hungry in praise, you're hungry in the word, because when they see you're hungry, guess what?
• 0:42
  Scottie Albious: That provokes their hunger.
• 0:45
  Daniel Moore: This week on Marriage Life More.
• 0:47
  Daniel Moore: We welcome back one more time Scottie and Vicky Albious, as they're going to be sitting in here in the studio with us this week and be talking about blended marriages.
• 0:55
  Daniel Moore: We'll be back with that right after this.
• 0:58
  Daniel Moore: Thank you, welcome to Marriage Life and More.
• 1:36
  Daniel Moore: This is a podcast about marriage and we throw in a few Bible and book studies here every once in a while.
• 1:41
  Daniel Moore: We interview people that have inspiring stories.
• 1:43
  Daniel Moore: I'm Daniel Moore, your host.
• 1:45
  Daniel Moore: I have my beautiful wife, Michelle, sitting over here.
• 1:47
  Daniel Moore: The co-host of this podcast.
• 1:49
  Daniel Moore: And of course once again this week we have Scottie and Vicky Albious.
• 1:53
  Daniel Moore: Hello, glad to have them, so you got a treat coming up for you this week as well.
• 1:59
  Daniel Moore: Well, thank you for joining us.
• 2:00
  Daniel Moore: If you're not familiar with our show, check out our website at marriage life and more.
• 2:03
  Daniel Moore: com.
• 2:04
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• 2:05
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• 2:07
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• 2:09
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• 2:17
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• 2:28
  Daniel Moore: That's also what gets the algorithms going and helps people get these episodes that may need to hear what we're talking about here as we talk about marriage.
• 2:37
  Daniel Moore: Well, as I said here in the intro, we have Scotty and Vicki with us one more time this week, and this week we're going to be talking about blended marriages.
• 2:46
  Daniel Moore: So first of all, I just want to thank you guys for coming back once again.
• 3:00
  Daniel Moore: Oh, it's been awesome, thank you.
• 3:02
  Daniel Moore: You guys have been here the last two weeks, some phenomenal episodes that you guys have shared with us, as you've shared your heart, and we just are so thankful for the ministries.
• 3:11
  Daniel Moore: I know we haven't said this yet, but you guys are very involved in your church and in leadership positions and things that you do there, and God uses you guys a lot.
• 3:21
  Daniel Moore: And we're so thankful for the influence that you all have in the church and the people around you, and the influence that you've had on Michelle and myself even we consider you guys very close friends and we've bounced a lot of stuff off of each other over the last years.
• 3:35
  Daniel Moore: Oh, yeah.
• 3:36
  Daniel Moore: It's been a really fun ride.
• 3:37
  Daniel Moore: We're just thankful that God's brought you guys in our path.
• 3:41
  Daniel Moore: So I do thank you for saying yes to being on the podcast here the last couple of weeks and, of course, this week is week three, and this week we're going to talk about blended marriages, and this is something that you know.
• 3:54
  Daniel Moore: A lot of churches really look at this as a taboo subject.
• 3:58
  Daniel Moore: They don't like to talk about it.
• 4:00
  Daniel Moore: For one thing, you know, a lot of churches are totally dead set against divorce, which I totally understand that.
• 4:06
  Daniel Moore: We all know that biblically, there's only certain reasons really that divorce is an allowable thing according to being biblical with it.
• 4:14
  Daniel Moore: So we totally understand that.
• 4:15
  Daniel Moore: But we also know that there's a very high percentage of marriages today that end up in divorce.
• 4:22
  Daniel Moore: And unfortunately, right now the statistics are definitely against us.
• 4:26
  Daniel Moore: Around 60-plus percent of the marriages these days will end up in divorce and some of the statistics I've been hearing recently within the church it's very similar.
• 4:37
  Daniel Moore: It's a very high rate of marriages that are ending even in church families, and it's just hard to believe.
• 4:44
  Daniel Moore: And, of course, when you get into the blended family scenario, your second, third marriages and so on, those statistics keep rising.
• 4:52
  Daniel Moore: And they get higher and higher.
• 4:53
  Daniel Moore: I know right now that for a second marriage it's around 70% fail rate for people that get remarried again.
• 5:00
  Daniel Moore: And what's crazy is, you know, michelle and I for sure have seen that I mean our marriage has been on the rocks and you know it's so important, after you come out of that first marriage, to learn some lessons.
• 5:14
  Daniel Moore: You know what went wrong, what took place that needs fixed this time around, you know, because marriage is a God-instituted thing.
• 5:23
  Daniel Moore: God created marriage.
• 5:24
  Daniel Moore: He created it in Genesis.
• 5:26
  Daniel Moore: One of the very first things that he came up with was marriage, and he put those rules down for what that marriage was supposed to be.
• 5:31
  Daniel Moore: And it's up to us at this point, as we consummate these marriages and come together as husband and wife.
• 5:40
  Daniel Moore: It's our responsibility, then, to live biblically, according to the plan that God has set before us, and a lot of times that's where we fail.
• 5:49
  Daniel Moore: But that being said, there's a lot of blended families out there that need spoken into.
• 5:54
  Daniel Moore: Yes.
• 5:55
  Daniel Moore: And there's a lot of struggles, a lot of fighting that's going on, a lot of things that you know these couples don't understand about what's taking place.
• 6:02
  Daniel Moore: And you guys have, you know, weathered lots of battles on your own.
• 6:07
  Daniel Moore: And, of course, you guys, when you first introduced yourself here, you told us, you know, we know, Scottie has a daughter from a previous marriage and then you have a couple of boys together at this point.
• 6:18
  Daniel Moore: So you're completely blended, and so as we get started on this episode this week.
• 6:25
  Daniel Moore: I think where I want to start out with this right at the moment is when you guys did come together.
• 6:31
  Daniel Moore: At that time you only had Khira Scottie's daughter.
• 6:34
  Daniel Moore: She was in the picture from the beginning.
• 6:36
  Daniel Moore: So when you first came together and you started this blended marriage journey, how did you guys navigate being parents to Khira Vicky, you accepting her as your daughter?
• 6:51
  Daniel Moore: because in all reality.
• 6:52
  Daniel Moore: You know all of us parents that are blended.
• 6:54
  Daniel Moore: It's not his kids or her kids, it's still our kids.
• 6:58
  Daniel Moore: So how did you guys navigate some of that?
• 7:02
  Daniel Moore: You know, scotty, allowing Vicki to come in to be the mom, and Vicki, you actually taking that position.
• 7:09
  Vicky Albious: You know I think I was.
• 7:10
  Vicky Albious: I tried to be careful, just especially in our dating time, to you know, if I saw things that you know, maybe little this's or that's, I made sure I wasn't the one really to ever correct Kira, you know, especially during those dating seasons, and just you know I'd say, hey, babe, you know, I just you know this or that, you know, and I tried to be very respectful in that aspect of like this isn't quite mine to parent yet you know this isn't, you know, the situation for me to parent yet.
• 7:46
  Vicky Albious: And then it's like as we married, you know, I slowly worked into that role because, you know, I had to gain Kira's love and respect.
• 7:58
  Vicky Albious: You know, at first, before I felt that I had the authority or the, you know, I didn't want to come into her life like don't do that and you can't.
• 8:07
  Vicky Albious: You know this and that.
• 8:08
  Vicky Albious: And of course Kira's, she's just such an amazing kid that I would almost call her the perfect daughter, like she just means the world to me and always has.
• 8:22
  Vicky Albious: But I just was careful, you know, to try to allow him to do what he needed to do and then ease into that.
• 8:30
  Vicky Albious: But kind of a funny thing to start it out Before we were in dating and we'd go to church and play volleyball and stuff.
• 8:41
  Vicky Albious: I always say Kira picked me because she would.
• 8:47
  Vicky Albious: There was this one night after volleyball where all those young adults came out, you know, talking and stuff, and I remember Kira sitting on the sidewalk and she's riding on the sidewalk with a rock and she just looks up at me and and I can't say that we'd really had conversation before that.
• 9:04
  Vicky Albious: You know, um, I could remember a couple other times she'd ran up to me at church and, hi, vicki, you know um, but she looks up at me and she says, vicki, who's your husband?
• 9:14
  Vicky Albious: And I said, well, I don't have a husband.
• 9:18
  Vicky Albious: And she was like, oh, and that was just it, because she was, I think, think six at the time, maybe five, yeah.
• 9:25
  Vicky Albious: And I remember Scotty looking at me and he was like what did she just say to you?
• 9:30
  Vicky Albious: It embarrassed him so bad because we weren't dating Like we were, you know, just friends and kind of talking here and there.
• 9:38
  Scottie Albious: I thought I was really in shock that she said that because, like, I never mentioned Vicki around her at all.
• 9:43
  Scottie Albious: So, to me it was just like what, what did you just say?
• 9:45
  Scottie Albious: You know part two.
• 9:47
  Scottie Albious: I was embarrassed as well, you know.
• 9:48
  Vicky Albious: I remember he told me, yeah, I got on to her about that and I was like why, like she, you know, she didn't know she was so little, you know, he's like, well, I just you know, but she did that and then, like I said, just a moment she'd run up and hi, vicki, you know, but her and I started, I would say, just with a very good relationship you know, and I've just always loved and respected her and she's just been my girl.
• 10:20
  Vicky Albious: You know from the get-go.
• 10:23
  Scottie Albious: Yeah, while we were dating, it ended up being me driving and them two hanging out, you know, and I thought it was really cool and how much she loved Vicki and Dad.
• 10:32
  Scottie Albious: Are we going to go see Vicki today?
• 10:33
  Scottie Albious: Are we going to?
• 10:33
  Scottie Albious: And I was like sure you know, and I think for me to answer your question, that's what helped build that trust.
• 10:38
  Scottie Albious: You know, kira loved her.
• 10:40
  Scottie Albious: And then two, I remember Vicki always coming to me and said, hey, I think you know, here's what I'm seeing.
• 10:45
  Scottie Albious: And Vicki would always come to me with a loving attitude and concern for Kira, just a concern that was very authentic.
• 10:54
  Scottie Albious: And she wouldn't come to me and say you need to do this to your kid.
• 10:57
  Scottie Albious: You need to say you know, and her, knowing my personality, she'd just be like I think Kira needs this, or I think Kira needs to hear this from you.
• 11:04
  Scottie Albious: I think Kira needs a hug from you Because you know, like I said, men we like to wrestle and throw things and you know, throw people and with her being so young, she was my buddy and I would just throw her all over the place and we'd wrestle.
• 11:14
  Vicky Albious: And she loved it.
• 11:18
  Scottie Albious: And she loved it.
• 11:19
  Scottie Albious: But there were times where Vicki's like I.
• 11:20
  Scottie Albious: I never thought of that.
• 11:21
  Scottie Albious: So you know, as she's getting older, I've learned, okay, she needs a hug.
• 11:25
  Scottie Albious: We've got two younger boys.
• 11:26
  Scottie Albious: They need hugs too, but they want to be thrown around.
• 11:28
  Scottie Albious: You know, they want to wrestle, they want to fight.
• 11:30
  Scottie Albious: They're dad.
• 11:31
  Scottie Albious: When your legs get better, are we going to wrestle or am I going to tackle you?
• 11:34
  Scottie Albious: I'm like I'll tackle you first.
• 11:46
  Scottie Albious: You know we're going to be who we are, but they have that.
• 11:48
  Scottie Albious: They want that nurturing you know side of you too as well.
• 11:52
  Vicky Albious: I remember this one time where she had come up to Scotty and she was probably, I'd say like eight around this time probably, and she had.
• 12:01
  Vicky Albious: She always was doodling in a book or writing something, spelling, just learning all the time and she had drawn something and she brought it and she's like Dad, look what I did, and just him being his rough self, as they've always played he knocked the book out of her hand and I saw her face for just a second and it was just kind of like you could tell it kind of hurt, you know.
• 12:26
  Vicky Albious: But then she just like played it off, you know, cause that's, you know, that's just who, her and dad's relationship, that's how it was.
• 12:32
  Vicky Albious: And later I went to him and I said I don't know that you saw it, but like I think that actually kind of hurt her, like she played it off very quickly and but I was like you've got to start, she's getting to an age like she needs your daddy tenderness.
• 12:48
  Vicky Albious: She needs that, like I'm proud of you.
• 12:50
  Vicky Albious: Wow, that looks awesome, Wow, that's cool, you know, instead of like boom, you know, let's play, let's be crazy, and just you know, allow some tenderness there.
• 12:59
  Daniel Moore: Yeah.
• 13:00
  Daniel Moore: So one thing that you guys mentioned there and it's something that I've been learning, even recently in my journey with the blended family thing you said that you didn't discipline.
• 13:12
  Daniel Moore: Yeah, and you know I've heard a lot of different counselors and you know different people that work in blended marriage ministry.
• 13:21
  Daniel Moore: People that work in blended marriage ministry and that is something that they do recommend highly is that if you come into a family with your own kids on each side of the equation, that for quite some time there at the very beginning, that the parent coming into the relationship really shouldn't be disciplining the other children for a time frame there.
• 13:42
  Daniel Moore: They need to let that parent.
• 13:43
  Daniel Moore: You know that's something where Michelle and I, you know, we had a lot of issue on that side.
• 13:49
  Daniel Moore: In some ways I felt like I was kind of forced into that a little bit, you know, sooner than I wanted to be.
• 13:55
  Daniel Moore: But at the same time.
• 13:56
  Daniel Moore: You know, back then I didn't realize that that was an issue, you know, that's something that I was like.
• 14:02
  Daniel Moore: You know, like we say, there's no handbook on how to be a blended family.
• 14:06
  Daniel Moore: You know how to bring it together.
• 14:07
  Daniel Moore: Okay, chapter five is.
• 14:09
  Daniel Moore: You know you don't get that.
• 14:10
  Daniel Moore: You know that pleasure, and so it's a learning process from the very beginning.
• 14:15
  Daniel Moore: And you know one thing that I can say just from our blended family experience you know I grew a very harsh environment with discipline and when I was a child I was in a military family to an extent plus a legalistic family, biblically and from both sides of that equation the discipline can be pretty harsh in a lot of cases and sometimes I probably deserved it.
• 14:38
  Daniel Moore: You know how that goes.
• 14:40
  Daniel Moore: But unfortunately, you know I brought that father figure style into our relationship and in a lot of ways I see where it actually damaged the relationship that I had with the boys you know Michelle's boys.
• 14:55
  Daniel Moore: Later on in our marriage and later on in life, you know I've had to go back and apologize.
• 15:02
  Michelle Moore: Well, Scotty, you listen.
• 15:04
  Michelle Moore: You took that wisdom from Vicki.
• 15:08
  Scottie Albious: Sure.
• 15:08
  Michelle Moore: But I also think you know, because she went to her prayer closet.
• 15:13
  Michelle Moore: Oh, yeah, and because she was filled with wisdom.
• 15:15
  Michelle Moore: When Dan and I, when I would discuss it with Dan, it wasn't I didn't do what you did, I didn't go to a prayer closet.
• 15:22
  Michelle Moore: I mean it wasn't I didn't do what you did, I didn't go to a prayer closet.
• 15:24
  Michelle Moore: I mean it was like I can't believe you would treat him that way.
• 15:26
  Daniel Moore: I mean we always did it behind closed doors and I felt like she was accusing me.
• 15:29
  Daniel Moore: So there was no communication.
• 15:34
  Michelle Moore: So that was the first several years of our marriage and that's the reason you know we walked through what we did.
• 15:38
  Michelle Moore: So I mean listening to you guys talk about it and you know I just think about you know I hope whoever's listening to this takes what you guys are saying and applies it, because he is right.
• 15:50
  Michelle Moore: I mean it did do damage to her children and you know, even though he can apologize, it doesn't change what happened back then, you know, and they're adults now.
• 16:00
  Michelle Moore: But I mean I look at you, know how you are with Kira still to this day and I think God blessed you because of that wisdom with your relationship with her.
• 16:09
  Michelle Moore: That's good.
• 16:10
  Michelle Moore: He just grew it and the two of you just are so complement of each other.
• 16:15
  Scottie Albious: Yeah.
• 16:15
  Scottie Albious: You know, and she does.
• 16:17
  Michelle Moore: She loves you.
• 16:18
  Scottie Albious: Yeah, she serves the church and she's on the worship team too, and them to complement each other in worship as well, in praise and worship.
• 16:24
  Scottie Albious: It's really cool to see.
• 16:26
  Michelle Moore: And their relationship.
• 16:27
  Michelle Moore: You know you may be the other mom, but your relationship that you have with her is because of how you started it all off.
• 16:34
  Vicky Albious: Yeah, and I truly believe that I'm going to cry because I just well, but Kira is just, she's always been such an amazing girl, you know, and I know there's situations that, you know, people come into and the kids have been through a lot, to the point that they're probably a little harder to deal with.
• 17:01
  Vicky Albious: You know, whereas I was telling Kira this the other day, I said, you know, I'm just thankful for who you are, you know, and just, she has such a tender heart and she always has.
• 17:13
  Vicky Albious: Like our discipline of Kira was just saying man, you know, I'm kind of I'm disappointed with that.
• 17:20
  Vicky Albious: You know, like she was never one you had to spank.
• 17:22
  Vicky Albious: She was.
• 17:22
  Vicky Albious: You know, I'm kind of I'm disappointed with that.
• 17:23
  Vicky Albious: You know, like she was never one you had to spank.
• 17:24
  Vicky Albious: She was, you know, not for us anyway or honestly, even ground because she just if you just said this wasn't okay, you know, and there wasn't even very many times of that.
• 17:40
  Vicky Albious: You know, she just has always been an incredible girl, girl, and I'm thankful for that because I think things would have been harder had it.
• 17:48
  Vicky Albious: You know, I come in and it was a kid.
• 17:55
  Vicky Albious: That was kind of just crazy, you know, and so I think I knew there would already be enough dynamics and tough stuff through it that you know I'm so thankful for Kira, oh yeah.
• 18:03
  Daniel Moore: Well, one thing that I've learned is you know a lot of times, whenever we get to this point where divorce is, inevitable and it's going to happen we, you know, as parents, we take that step and we have kids involved and we don't realize that.
• 18:18
  Daniel Moore: You know what emotions that we're going through as the parents.
• 18:22
  Daniel Moore: The kids are going through that two or three times more, right, right.
• 18:26
  Daniel Moore: And so whenever we come out of that relationship, the kids especially if they've not really seen what's been seeing, what's going on, because Michelle and I we talked about this a little bit.
• 18:35
  Daniel Moore: You know a lot of the arguing and the fighting that we had went on behind closed doors.
• 18:39
  Daniel Moore: Yeah, we didn't really let our kids know a lot of this friction was going on.
• 18:43
  Daniel Moore: We hid it from them and so whenever the time came that Michelle made the decision that she was going to move out, you know that was quite a surprise, I'm sure, for our kids, right right, and you know they're young and they don't know how to navigate all of that and we get divorced and get separated and then our thing is like okay, we're looking to find the next person now.
• 19:01
  Daniel Moore: You know our kids are still mourning.
• 19:03
  Daniel Moore: They're still going through this period where they still don't know what just happened.
• 19:07
  Daniel Moore: You know, and probably the parents not even explained it to them.
• 19:10
  Daniel Moore: All they know now is, all of a sudden I'm getting tossed between two different houses.
• 19:13
  Daniel Moore: I've got this parent bickering with this parent and they can't decide on nothing.
• 19:17
  Daniel Moore: I'm getting stuck in the middle.
• 19:18
  Daniel Moore: Now my parent wants me to go tell this one something for them, and all this stuff starts going on.
• 19:23
  Michelle Moore: It's really hard and it's very difficult, and I think that's you know, your wisdom of just not even just loving Kira.
• 19:30
  Scottie Albious: Yeah.
• 19:31
  Michelle Moore: And you know showing no—and I've watched you you don't show any difference in loving her versus the boys.
• 19:38
  Michelle Moore: Yeah right.
• 19:39
  Michelle Moore: I mean, and I know what it's like to have two boys and not have a girl, and I mean I always wanted a girl and I got Brooklyn.
• 19:46
  Michelle Moore: But I wish I would have been like what you were, because I think my relationship, even though Brooke and I are close, I think it would have been totally different had I had my relationship with Christ and actually did what you've been doing with her, even to this day, while she's in high school.
• 20:03
  Michelle Moore: I mean, I look and sometimes I kind of manipulate a little bit on.
• 20:13
  Michelle Moore: Brooklyn's feelings because I wanted her to love me so much.
• 20:14
  Michelle Moore: You know, and you know that relationship.
• 20:16
  Michelle Moore: You want that, you know so.
• 20:18
  Scottie Albious: Right, wow.
• 20:20
  Daniel Moore: Did you ever fear not being accepted by Kira.
• 20:23
  Daniel Moore: How did you navigate through that when you first came into the relationship?
• 20:28
  Vicky Albious: You know, I don't know that I ever feared, just because she took to me so quickly, you know, and we just we were together such short periods of time in that beginning part because like he only had her every other weekend at that point and hardly at all even on holidays.
• 20:49
  Vicky Albious: Like it was just very limited time and so that time was so precious to us and when she was with us, I mean it was us just spending time, whether that was sitting on the floor watching movies together or going to a park.
• 21:06
  Vicky Albious: You know, just like she was literally our world and so it just yeah, it just was natural.
• 21:17
  Vicky Albious: I don't know, and I too, I just think it was a God thing.
• 21:19
  Vicky Albious: You know, like it's crazy, I just think it was a God thing.
• 21:25
  Vicky Albious: You know, like I it's crazy, but you know, I've been in her life around 12 years now and it's weird.
• 21:28
  Vicky Albious: It may sound stupid, but like there are times like I almost forget, like she did not come from my, my tummy Like no.
• 21:36
  Michelle Moore: I understand exactly what you're saying.
• 21:38
  Vicky Albious: She means to me, like there is.
• 21:41
  Vicky Albious: There's never been stepmom, stepbrother, stepsister, like, no, like you are my child, that God put us, our lives together and for me to be what I need to be to you, yeah.
• 21:53
  Scottie Albious: I think, from our experience, one thing if you're, if you're in this blended state of kids going back and forth, man treasure time.
• 22:02
  Scottie Albious: Kids, they want that time and they just want to, you know, spend that time with you.
• 22:06
  Scottie Albious: So do it, whether it's playing tennis or going to museums or man just going to a park, parks are free.
• 22:14
  Scottie Albious: Don't get in that rut of well, your mom did this, well, I'm going to buy you this.
• 22:18
  Scottie Albious: My joke was always like oh really, she did that, I'm going to buy you a pony.
• 22:21
  Scottie Albious: Come on over, you know, don't, don't, you know, you don't have to do that.
• 22:25
  Scottie Albious: Kids value just regular time, just spending time with one another.
• 22:29
  Scottie Albious: And then another thing too is I remember thinking man, we're in church so much, why am I spending this time with my daughter at church?
• 22:34
  Scottie Albious: No, kids need church.
• 22:36
  Michelle Moore: Yes, yes, they need that, they need God.
• 22:40
  Scottie Albious: Don't use that as an excuse Say, well, it's my weekend, I'm not going to go to church because I got to spend time with them.
• 22:44
  Scottie Albious: No, they need to know the Lord.
• 22:46
  Daniel Moore: Yes.
• 22:46
  Scottie Albious: Absolutely Super important, yeah, and they need to know that you honor and you respect the Lord, that you're submitted to the Lord yourself, and that really helps.
• 22:55
  Scottie Albious: And then, when they get older, they will see the difference between households.
• 22:59
  Vicky Albious: That's like today.
• 23:00
  Vicky Albious: We just had an awesome service in the presence of the Lord and towards the end of service, pastor David asked us, the team, to come back up and I play piano and lead and Kira she's on bass and she actually leads worship for the youth on Wednesday nights and, man, that just touches your heart as a parent.
• 23:23
  Vicky Albious: You know, and that's something I never pushed her into.
• 23:26
  Vicky Albious: You know, it literally was when she was like five, six, you know, and she first started coming and hanging and stuff.
• 23:36
  Vicky Albious: She was like Vicki, will you teach me the?
• 23:37
  Vicky Albious: piano you know, and so I just began to teach her the basics and then she already loved to sing, so she'd sit there and belt her little lungs out.
• 23:45
  Vicky Albious: But it was so neat today because he had us come back up at the end and you know we're singing the song called Set Free and just the chorus of it I've been set free.
• 23:56
  Vicky Albious: I have been set free.
• 23:57
  Vicky Albious: Shame has no hold.
• 23:59
  Vicky Albious: You know, no power over me, and you just feel such a strong presence of the Lord.
• 24:05
  Vicky Albious: And then, you know, service ends, you know, and people were up front, just hands lifted, or should be, like it was just, it was just.
• 24:13
  Vicky Albious: God was there.
• 24:15
  Vicky Albious: And I look over after, you know, pastor closes service and I'm in, curious still, just tears are just flowing down her face.
• 24:24
  Vicky Albious: And that's what you just, that's what this is about.
• 24:28
  Vicky Albious: You know, just living this life and living God with your kids daily.
• 24:34
  Vicky Albious: You know that's one thing, you know, we don't every day say, make sure you're doing your devotional, Make sure you're doing this, Make sure you're doing it.
• 24:42
  Vicky Albious: No, it is literally living a life of Jesus in front of them every day.
• 24:47
  Scottie Albious: The kids need to see you're hungry for the Lord, you're hungry in worship, you're hungry in praise, you're hungry in the Word.
• 24:52
  Scottie Albious: Because when they see you're hungry, guess what?
• 24:54
  Scottie Albious: That provokes their hunger and they find a different way of satisfying that hunger.
• 24:59
  Scottie Albious: And, like she was saying, it was one of those services today that, you know, you just get come up to be filled, you know, and just spend time with the Lord.
• 25:06
  Scottie Albious: And it was very powerful.
• 25:07
  Scottie Albious: And when I looked up and I saw her just tearing up, I was like that's awesome, that's what it's about as a parent, that's it.
• 25:12
  Scottie Albious: You want your kids to want more of the Lord.
• 25:15
  Daniel Moore: Yeah, yeah, when they actually follow that calling and do what God's put upon their life it is.
• 25:21
  Daniel Moore: It's just a huge blessing and that should be every that's our goal.
• 25:25
  Daniel Moore: I mean you know we want all of our kids.
• 25:28
  Daniel Moore: You know we pray that someday they'll all be in church and I'll be doing what it is that God's called them to do.
• 25:32
  Daniel Moore: And I think that that should be every parent's goal, because that carries on into the next generation.
• 25:38
  Daniel Moore: You know that makes sure that your grandkids are in church, right?
• 25:40
  Daniel Moore: I think their hunger is based on your hunger.
• 25:42
  Daniel Moore: Yeah, exactly, I agree with that.
• 25:44
  Michelle Moore: Yeah, so, vicki, when you were talking about, you know, as you know, kira, you know you are mom, you know, that's it's all it's.
• 26:02
  Michelle Moore: Mom, dad, you know you are mom, you, you know, that's, it's all it's mom, dad, you know.
• 26:05
  Michelle Moore: Whatever, how do you navigate for someone out there?
• 26:09
  Michelle Moore: For, like, I mean, even we went through that.
• 26:11
  Michelle Moore: You know the other.
• 26:13
  Michelle Moore: The kid was not allowed to call the other parent mom or dad.
• 26:16
  Michelle Moore: Yeah, did you ever have to walk that at any?
• 26:20
  Vicky Albious: time.
• 26:20
  Vicky Albious: You know what's crazy is.
• 26:22
  Vicky Albious: I think it was the day we were getting married and Kira and I were together and you know we're getting ready and stuff, and I remember I actually have a video on my phone and I'm in the car and I said something about today is a great day, it's an awesome day, you know, and I'm going to have a new husband and a brand new daughter.
• 26:45
  Vicky Albious: You know, like I just, you know, and she is in the back, yeah, her cute little voice, and she's like, and I have a new mommy, and you know, and all this, and it was just the sweetest thing.
• 26:57
  Vicky Albious: But you know, we told her I can't remember if we had a conversation that day or it was when we had gotten back from her honeymoon, but I told her.
• 27:05
  Vicky Albious: I said, kira, I want you to know that you, if you want to call me Mama or whatever, that's fine.
• 27:12
  Vicky Albious: You know, if you want to call me Mama V, if you, you know whatever you're comfortable with, or if you want to still call me Vicki, that's fine.
• 27:18
  Vicky Albious: You know you do what's comfortable.
• 27:22
  Vicky Albious: And she started out calling me Mama V you know, and then it wasn't long before she dropped that V, you know, and I just became Mama, and you know she calls her mom, mommy or Mom or whatever you know, but I've always been Mama and so, yeah, it's just, I don't know that's awesome, it's just natural, yeah, and I mean we came.
• 27:41
  Michelle Moore: Just I don't know that's awesome, it was just natural, yeah, and I mean we came from a different.
• 27:47
  Michelle Moore: You know, I always wanted to be called that, but it was never that way.
• 27:52
  Michelle Moore: And you know, for the ex it was I don't know if it was a threatening thing or you know just like to where.
• 27:59
  Michelle Moore: You know you just weren't allowed to do that.
• 28:01
  Michelle Moore: And I think even then, when you start something like that, it's hard for the child.
• 28:05
  Michelle Moore: And you know, and I look at back now and I'm thinking I should have just been more stern, you know it's like.
• 28:11
  Michelle Moore: But you know you are, you're married, you know, and I mean you know your place.
• 28:18
  Michelle Moore: As a stepmother you know, and as a stepfather you know, your place I mean it does not take the place of a mom and a dad, and sometimes I think, because the other I mean I wouldn't say the other exes, but neither one of ours went to church, so we fought that a lot.
• 28:34
  Michelle Moore: Did you ever find that you fought that a lot with your ex?
• 28:39
  Scottie Albious: Oh yeah, I know, you know there was times where even an identity, identity last name was changed on jerseys, and so we knew there was that, that pressure of you're this, you're this, you're my daughter, you're my, and for us it was like I think for us it was we would get you know angry at first, but then we, then I'd sit there and be like you know what she truly knows, you know what she truly knows.
• 29:01
  Scottie Albious: She'll truly know that's good, and don't you know, don't force you know, be like.
• 29:06
  Scottie Albious: If she's telling you this, well then, here's what.
• 29:07
  Scottie Albious: I'm telling you Don't let them do that.
• 29:10
  Daniel Moore: And you just go to the Lord.
• 29:12
  Scottie Albious: You know, like I said, go to the Lord, have Him, lead it and be like God.
• 29:15
  Scottie Albious: I'm angry.
• 29:22
  Michelle Moore: I don't know what to that.
• 29:23
  Michelle Moore: Not you guys, but everybody else that's listening and we're still learning.
• 29:29
  Daniel Moore: So then the boys came along, yeah, and that's a whole new dynamic when that took place.
• 29:36
  Daniel Moore: So Kara's already integrated.
• 29:39
  Daniel Moore: You know, mom, dad, all this dynamics are all in place, everything's going good.
• 29:44
  Daniel Moore: So when the boys came along, do you feel like there was any struggle there with Kira?
• 29:49
  Daniel Moore: Do you think she worried any about the boy, because the boys are both of yours?
• 29:52
  Daniel Moore: Do you think she had any?
• 29:54
  Vicky Albious: issue there.
• 29:54
  Vicky Albious: You know, from the get-go, when I got pregnant, kira was so excited and from the get-go it was this is your baby.
• 30:04
  Vicky Albious: You know, I made sure to know, like for her to know, like he is yours as well.
• 30:09
  Vicky Albious: Oh, so good and so so good.
• 30:14
  Scottie Albious: That's that wisdom.
• 30:15
  Scottie Albious: I'm telling you, yeah, awesome.
• 30:17
  Vicky Albious: There were times like she would be sitting playing piano and singing, and he would, you know, Ty, would, I think, well, israel, more so he would just start moving, you know, and I would let her fill my stomach when he's moving.
• 30:32
  Scottie Albious: She would talk to him too.
• 30:33
  Vicky Albious: Yeah, and she would talk to him and you know, and I'd be like he can hear you singing, you know, and he can hear you playing, playing.
• 30:39
  Vicky Albious: And so when we told her she didn't, you know, when we found out he was a boy, we wrote a letter from Israel, you know, to her and said you know something about just I love to hear you sing, I love to hear you worship with mama, you know, and just wrote it to her from Israel and Kira goes wow, he has great handwriting.
• 31:08
  Vicky Albious: She's always so funny.
• 31:09
  Vicky Albious: But she gets to the part and it says and I am a, and she turns the paper over a boy, and she was like a boy and she was like, oh great, mama, we're outnumbered here because we had like three boy dogs and then dad and now a boy, but you know, just always making her such a part of that, you know.
• 31:31
  Vicky Albious: And then when Israel came along, he was her world and they have a bond like you just wouldn't even believe Like, and they're just nutty together.
• 31:44
  Scottie Albious: They're so funny it was just a character anyway, um, but she I mean just soaked up every minute, you know, and yeah, it just I think, from our perspective, when I, when I look back at it, you know, I think here from there was different dynamics.
• 32:02
  Scottie Albious: On one side, she was the only child, so she was getting everything.
• 32:05
  Scottie Albious: On the other side, she was a big sister, so she got to see both, both sides and I think honestly she yearned to to see her brothers.
• 32:16
  Scottie Albious: You know, even still today.
• 32:18
  Scottie Albious: It's funny because, like I'm in my 40s and I'll be like, hey guys, and she's 17, I'm like we have a family discussion.
• 32:22
  Scottie Albious: She's like are we have a family discussion?
• 32:23
  Scottie Albious: She's like, are we getting a new baby sister or something?
• 32:26
  Daniel Moore: I'm like whoa whoa whoa what.
• 32:27
  Vicky Albious: Where did that come from?
• 32:27
  Vicky Albious: I'm like, no, we're done.
• 32:28
  Vicky Albious: What's wrong with you?
• 32:29
  Vicky Albious: Yeah, we're done with that.
• 32:45
  Scottie Albious: So I know you know you want to watch the boys while we run to the store or something like that, and Titus, the youngest, he'll be like, yeah, brother, sister time.
• 32:53
  Scottie Albious: You know things like that and I know he loves driving her crazy, but it's been fun watching that dynamic.
• 32:58
  Daniel Moore: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 33:00
  Daniel Moore: Yeah that's so cool.
• 33:01
  Daniel Moore: Yeah, that's a big hurdle in a lot of families because sometimes the first sibling that's already there when the marriage comes together, when the new ones come along, especially when the mom and dad are their parents.
• 33:25
  Daniel Moore: I've seen different times where it's just been really brutal for those children to understand.
• 33:27
  Daniel Moore: And they start getting these.
• 33:28
  Daniel Moore: You know they already seen one replacement, because the mom and dad have already divorced once and so there's a new mom and a new dad.
• 33:35
  Daniel Moore: They've already seen that.
• 33:36
  Daniel Moore: Well, now there's another child coming in.
• 33:38
  Daniel Moore: You know, a lot of times they look at that as okay, here's another replacement.
• 33:41
  Daniel Moore: Where am I at now in this equation?
• 33:43
  Daniel Moore: And so I think that I wanted to bring that up because you know, fortunately, God, he's got his hand on you guys' marriage, because he's given you a lot of wisdom in how you handle those situations, Because there's a lot of couples out there that have the same scenario.
• 33:59
  Daniel Moore: But they don't approach it that way, so they have problems.
• 34:03
  Daniel Moore: Yeah, and then they got to try to navigate.
• 34:04
  Daniel Moore: Well, how do I fix this?
• 34:05
  Daniel Moore: You know you're just as special as this child.
• 34:09
  Daniel Moore: You know you want to make sure you get that across to them.
• 34:11
  Daniel Moore: But when they're young like that, a lot of times they don't quite understand and I think they still might, you know, have that fear just a little bit, and it takes them a while.
• 34:21
  Daniel Moore: They have to walk that walk for a while to see exactly where this is really going, and so I love that you guys were able to share how this worked out for you, because, again, this shows the Holy Spirit in work.
• 34:33
  Daniel Moore: It shows Him working and shows Him in place, and I just can't stress that enough, how important it is to follow the Holy Spirit's lead.
• 34:42
  Daniel Moore: Even in our family we think of the Holy Spirit as a church thing.
• 34:45
  Daniel Moore: You know, it's like we got a church.
• 34:47
  Daniel Moore: I'm ready to be filled with the Holy Spirit and you know, going to get the prayer languages and all this stuff that goes along with all of that.
• 34:52
  Daniel Moore: But you know what?
• 34:53
  Daniel Moore: The Holy Spirit's a huge help in every aspect of our lives.
• 34:56
  Daniel Moore: It's not just a church thing and you know, if we're going to have it in church, we need to have it everywhere, 24-7.
• 35:03
  Daniel Moore: And that's dealing with exes, or dealing with our kids or our stepkids or, you know, step-parents, just whatever that whole equation, you know, comes and throws at us.
• 35:12
  Daniel Moore: We know Satan his main goal is to bust up families.
• 35:15
  Daniel Moore: The families make the church.
• 35:18
  Daniel Moore: He hates the church.
• 35:19
  Daniel Moore: And so his whole goal is just to take families out, because if he can take them out one at a time, then he destroys the church.
• 35:25
  Daniel Moore: He's very effective in doing that, and so, especially when it comes to a blended family scenario, I think that you know, Michelle, and I can even attest to this you get so many more fights, so many more battles that you have to wage and make it through, and you know it gets exhausting sometimes.
• 35:43
  Daniel Moore: And.
• 35:43
  Daniel Moore: I know, you know, I know you guys' walk that you've been through and are going through.
• 35:47
  Daniel Moore: Your kids are still young, so you're still fighting some battles that Michelle and I have moved beyond at this point, thank the Lord.
• 35:54
  Daniel Moore: You know it's just it seems like everything's going great and then all of a sudden, here comes something else.
• 35:59
  Daniel Moore: You know it's like right, when things are going good, satan comes along and just tries.
• 36:06
  Daniel Moore: And it makes it very difficult, but I do.
• 36:08
  Daniel Moore: I'm like Michelle, you know.
• 36:09
  Daniel Moore: I think that I'm so thankful with the way that you guys have handled what you've done, because I think making a child feel important.
• 36:18
  Scottie Albious: Yeah.
• 36:19
  Daniel Moore: Making them feel like they belong, yeah, that they can have some ownership of something when something's already been ripped away from them.
• 36:25
  Daniel Moore: They have a new hope when they have some ownership there, and I think that's super important that parents should take away from this when they're in that equation.
• 36:36
  Scottie Albious: And I think one of the things that you said, making them feel a part, one of the things too I believe it was Titus, was that the one we have technology now?
• 36:42
  Scottie Albious: I know she was on vacation or something.
• 36:46
  Scottie Albious: I think is what it was.
• 36:46
  Scottie Albious: And when Titus was born, one of the first things we did was we FaceTimed her so she can be a part of it.
• 36:52
  Scottie Albious: We're like, hey, look, because I know she was like, oh, brother's getting born right now, but we're like hey look, sister, look.
• 37:00
  Scottie Albious: You know, this is Titus and her face.
• 37:01
  Scottie Albious: She was like, you know, just on FaceTime.
• 37:02
  Scottie Albious: Just those little things, make them be a part of it, you know, make them be part of your decisions, even.
• 37:07
  Vicky Albious: With Israel.
• 37:08
  Vicky Albious: She literally got back from a vacation the day he was born and so she got to be there with that and then with Titus, I ended up having kidney stones three weeks before I was due.
• 37:22
  Vicky Albious: I thought I was dying.
• 37:23
  Vicky Albious: I had no clue what was going on and so they ended up taking him earlier because I was having higher blood pressure and stuff just from the pain of that and stuff.
• 37:35
  Vicky Albious: But yeah, she missed Titus by about four days and that was tough.
• 37:41
  Vicky Albious: But that's the thing with Kira, she's always just rolled with the punches you know, and always just been amazing.
• 37:49
  Vicky Albious: But something else I kind of wanted to speak to and if I can even explain it right, but, like you know, sometimes I found myself so caught up, you know, in everything with Kira that I looked back and I felt like my boys kind of got second, you know, and it may sound crazy when you're like that's your second.
• 38:11
  Vicky Albious: You know, and it may sound crazy when you're like that's your, that's your kid, you know, like that you birthed.
• 38:15
  Vicky Albious: You know we walked through some really tough times in our earlier years, you know, with some court situations and stuff like that, and as a mom my heart was just, you know, broken for the things going on and for cure and stuff like that, to the point, you know I let it overtake.
• 38:33
  Vicky Albious: You know, some joy and peace in my life and in my home and that definitely had an effect with you know, my responses sometimes to my boys, you know, and and I feel like there were moments that I was so consumed with the pain of what was going on that I wasn't living life with them.
• 38:55
  Vicky Albious: You know I was, but yet I wasn't fully.
• 38:57
  Vicky Albious: You know what I'm saying.
• 38:59
  Vicky Albious: Tough times, you know, when it comes to court situations or to you know that kind of stuff that you really pay attention to, your joy and your peace and what you're allowing into your home.
• 39:21
  Vicky Albious: You know, there came a point where I was like chaos will no longer come in this home because of what is going on with the other side.
• 39:33
  Vicky Albious: And there honestly came a time it was a few years ago that I realized, you know, I look back at baby pictures and this sounds crazy, but there may be someone out there that's went through this and they need to hear it.
• 39:47
  Vicky Albious: But I couldn't even look back at some of the pictures of like, especially Israel when he was younger, and it just sounds crazy.
• 39:55
  Vicky Albious: But I just felt pain when I looked back because I felt like gosh, did I miss some things Because I was so consumed with all the other stuff going on, you know, and I had a close friend that she just said to me she's like vicky, that is just the enemy, don't let that reside.
• 40:16
  Vicky Albious: And she was like for you know, israel loves you, you're his mama and he's not gonna remember that he was so young when a lot of this stuff happened, you know, and he just knows that his mama loves him, you know, and healing had to come into my heart.
• 40:34
  Vicky Albious: And now, you know, I can look back at pictures and be fine and, like I said, that may sound crazy but like we don't realize the things that we've held on to because of past trauma and things you know, and even in some recent stuff we've had, you know, going on.
• 40:50
  Vicky Albious: And things you know, and even in some recent stuff we've had, you know, going on, you know, I found myself like I just get to this place where I get real sick to my stomach and I, you know, I kind of just pull, pull in and and and I've had to go.
• 41:03
  Vicky Albious: No, we're not going there again.
• 41:05
  Vicky Albious: Like my kids need me, my husband needs me, you know, and just allow God to heal those places you know that have hurt so deep from past things you know, and just be that present person with your child.
• 41:23
  Vicky Albious: You know, whether it's, you know, the blended side or your, you know like no, you have to really pay attention to not let the enemy steal that joy and peace out of your home because of the chaos on the other side.
• 41:37
  Vicky Albious: That's good advice.
• 41:38
  Scottie Albious: And I think some of the men that are going through this.
• 41:41
  Scottie Albious: When you're seeing your wife, just, and there's nothing you can do to fix, because we're fixers Nothing you can just say, nothing you can do.
• 41:47
  Scottie Albious: Man, you know, take that, all that anger and all that, and take it in a prayer.
• 41:53
  Scottie Albious: I don't know if you know this, but if you're, if you're in a marriage, you're going to be constantly battled and by the enemy.
• 41:59
  Scottie Albious: But if you go in a constant prayer, you know in his presence the enemy must flee.
• 42:03
  Scottie Albious: And just speak that over your marriage, over the situation, over your kids, over your finances, anything that you're involved in, and just cover it.
• 42:11
  Scottie Albious: Just cover it with the Lord's presence and ask the Holy Spirit.
• 42:14
  Scottie Albious: You know, there's times where, man, I would get angry in the past.
• 42:17
  Scottie Albious: I would respond with words, with with you know, with actions, and I'm a type of person that if you're going to mess with me and my family, I'm going to get mad, but I'm going to take all the anger and put it into prayer.
• 42:29
  Scottie Albious: You might pick on me, but God's going to come after you.
• 42:33
  Scottie Albious: I'm going to pray, god, help me, help me with a situation and just pray and I promise it might not change that circumstance at the time.
• 42:43
  Scottie Albious: But it'll change you and it'll change your wife and it'll make you both stronger together and for more battles coming up.
• 42:49
  Scottie Albious: You know we're like, okay, we got this.
• 42:51
  Scottie Albious: We've been here before, you know, because this is like going through court stuff.
• 42:54
  Scottie Albious: We've done it, like you guys, multiple times.
• 42:57
  Scottie Albious: It's not easy, it is not easy.
• 43:00
  Vicky Albious: Well, and the kids always have the brunt of it all.
• 43:03
  Scottie Albious: Yes, they do.
• 43:04
  Vicky Albious: And they're going to respond and see how you're going to you know off your response, respond and see how you're going to.
• 43:11
  Vicky Albious: You know offer your response and you know if they see you going to the prayer closet and you're not saying negative things.
• 43:18
  Vicky Albious: You know that's how they're going to learn to respond and you know to realize like no, this is how we deal with conflict and hurt and pain and da-da-da, you know, instead of the other way of you know this is stupid.
• 43:30
  Vicky Albious: Rah, rah rah rah, you know yeah.
• 43:33
  Michelle Moore: Well, and I think sometimes too, you know just not a prayer closet, but and I know you're big on worship too, so I mean I'm that's one of my fights.
• 43:42
  Michelle Moore: I mean I'm just like, okay, it's prayer.
• 43:50
  Vicky Albious: It's worship time and worship going before me, and there's times I'll just sit at the piano and I'll be worshiping.
• 43:54
  Vicky Albious: You know the boys work here will come in and just sit and start singing with Mary, you know.
• 43:58
  Vicky Albious: But just yeah, having that presence in your home through worship.
• 44:12
  Daniel Moore: He said something kind of key.
• 44:13
  Daniel Moore: You know, in Psalm 139 is where David talks about search me, oh God and see if there's any.
• 44:19
  Daniel Moore: You know, non-right spirit within me.
• 44:20
  Daniel Moore: You know, david is a good example, because he was constantly being barraged from all sides.
• 44:26
  Daniel Moore: You know people were trying to take him out.
• 44:29
  Daniel Moore: You know he was constantly in battles but instead of him taking it out on everybody else, he humbled himself and said God, is there something wrong in me?
• 44:38
  Daniel Moore: That might be causing this.
• 44:39
  Daniel Moore: Search me and take this out, if that's what it is, and I think, more often than not, when we get into these situations and these conflicts and you know the different things that can take place within marriages and blended marriages and whatever you know, sometimes that's probably the better way to handle that, you know is you know, god, this is at your feet.
• 44:59
  Daniel Moore: I'm going to have to leave this in your hands because I don't know what to do.
• 45:02
  Daniel Moore: And look inside of me and make sure that I'm right.
• 45:05
  Daniel Moore: Make sure that I'm where I need to be and I want to let you handle this.
• 45:09
  Daniel Moore: It's so hard to do that as a human being.
• 45:11
  Daniel Moore: It's just difficult to take ourselves out of that equation, but it's amazing how things can turn around and they can change if we do that.
• 45:21
  Vicky Albious: Here a couple of weeks ago.
• 45:22
  Vicky Albious: You know we had something kind of come.
• 45:24
  Vicky Albious: That just was unexpected again and I didn't realize at the time.
• 45:35
  Vicky Albious: But I had allowed fear I mean to grip my heart hard and I was laying in bed that night and I just I could not sleep.
• 45:41
  Daniel Moore: No, matter what I did.
• 45:42
  Vicky Albious: And normally I can like turn on my Bible, you know, to read, and just that brings you know, and I'll go to sleep and I'm laying there and the Bible's going and I I'm not even hearing it because there's so many things racing through my mind, you know.
• 45:58
  Vicky Albious: And I was like, and so finally, like three, 30 in the morning, I told God, I was like fine, I'm getting up, I'm going to my prayer closet until I hear something from you, I have to hear a word from you.
• 46:11
  Vicky Albious: And I got up and I walked Our prayer closet's, our main closet.
• 46:17
  Vicky Albious: So I walked through the bathroom and go, and my first step into the closet, god spoke to me and he said Vengeance is mine.
• 46:27
  Vicky Albious: And I was like, okay, and you know, at first you think, awesome, you go get her.
• 46:36
  Vicky Albious: You know, like you're going to deal with this, and I realized that God was saying vengeance is mine.
• 46:41
  Vicky Albious: You better keep your heart straight.
• 46:43
  Vicky Albious: You better not let bitterness and anger come into this situation right now, because it's going to do nothing.
• 46:50
  Vicky Albious: And so I just got on my face for the Lord and I continued praying, you know, for the next while and he spoke a couple other things, you know, and I can honestly say I got up out of that closet, I walked out and I did not feel any different.
• 47:06
  Vicky Albious: I didn't feel peace, I didn't, you know, even though he had spoke to me and stuff.
• 47:11
  Vicky Albious: And I went and got back in bed and I laid there for another hour or so, two, before Scotty's alarm went off to, you know, go to work.
• 47:21
  Vicky Albious: And when he woke up and I said you got to do something to fix this, like I can't do this again, you know, I said you got to do something to fix this, like I can't do this again, you know.
• 47:30
  Vicky Albious: And then he went and got in the shower and then he was talking to me and just really encouraged me and, you know, kind of helped my heart that morning.
• 47:36
  Vicky Albious: He went on to work and I just kind of, throughout that day, struggled through it, you know.
• 47:47
  Vicky Albious: And then that Sunday I got up to and I, you know, I got to go to church and lead worship, you know, and you know my heart, I wasn't feeling bitter and stuff.
• 47:50
  Vicky Albious: I just too much, I was allowing too much to race through my mind.
• 47:53
  Vicky Albious: And so, you know, we go through practice and we get into, we have a prayer time and stuff, and I pray with my team.
• 48:03
  Vicky Albious: And then I just immediately just felt God was like you go and let Miss Paula pray over you.
• 48:10
  Vicky Albious: And so I went and I sat down by her and I didn't even say much to her, I just said it's been a rough week and, you know, I just have a lot going through my mind and I need the Lord to just touch me today, you know, and because I don't want my stuff to get in the way of what he wants to do in his house today.
• 48:32
  Vicky Albious: And so she just prayed the sweetest, simple you know it wasn't some powerful word for you know, and it was just god.
• 48:41
  Vicky Albious: You know, you cover her, you, she needs you, and and she just prayed some things over me.
• 48:47
  Vicky Albious: And then, you know, at the she had something to the effect of when we feel inadequate or not enough.
• 48:53
  Vicky Albious: He is more than enough.
• 48:56
  Vicky Albious: And I'm telling you that day in service, like the Spirit of God came and people just came and were worship, like just came up on their own during worship and just lifting their hands and stuff.
• 49:06
  Vicky Albious: And I just say that to encourage you.
• 49:10
  Vicky Albious: You know, like no matter what you're facing, what you're walking through, even if you go in your prayer closet and you come out feeling the same, even when we don't see it or feel it, god is still moving, he's still working.
• 49:22
  Vicky Albious: If we are surrendering our heart before Him and surrender is so huge when it comes to the blended side of stuff, like God, I don't understand this.
• 49:33
  Vicky Albious: Why do we have to go through this again?
• 49:35
  Vicky Albious: What?
• 49:36
  Vicky Albious: Why?
• 49:36
  Vicky Albious: Why is this happening?
• 49:37
  Vicky Albious: Why?
• 49:37
  Vicky Albious: Why?
• 49:37
  Vicky Albious: Why?
• 49:37
  Vicky Albious: You know, and he's just saying I need you to trust me and believe me because all this stuff, if you will lay it in my hands, I will use it and it will be for your good and man.
• 49:52
  Vicky Albious: I can look back over so many things walking this journey and how God has just moved in miraculous ways that you sometimes don't see till you're further down the road, and he just is so faithful.
• 50:05
  Vicky Albious: You know, and I was teaching class last Wednesday and we were talking about suffering how you know, in one of the things that it was Lisa Harper's study and she said you can have a broken heart and raised hands at the same time.
• 50:22
  Vicky Albious: And man that spoke so deep to me and I was like that's it, like it's that surrender and that just god, I don't get it and this really hurts and it really stinks right now, but I'm gonna trust your heart because you've always been faithful, you've always been good, and so just encouragement, you know, surrender and be obedient to what he's speaking yeah, uh, you know that reminds me kind of a guess, a little bit of peek into next week's episode I've got coming out, but I've got a bonus episode coming out next week to go with the rejection study that I just finished.
• 51:00
  Daniel Moore: And one thing that got impressed on me that I kind of go through on this next episode is a lot of times we want to ask God the why questions, but in all reality we need to be asking Him the what Instead of why is this happening?
• 51:15
  Daniel Moore: Why am I going through this?
• 51:16
  Daniel Moore: We need to be saying God, what are you trying to show me?
• 51:18
  Daniel Moore: What are you trying to change within me that I need to change?
• 51:22
  Daniel Moore: What can I do to make this better, following your path versus my path?
• 51:28
  Daniel Moore: And if we can get into that mode where we, you know, flip this the complete opposite direction of how Satan wants us to do it you know he wants us to sit there and get anxious and worry and all this stuff, you know, and that's what those why questions will do to us.
• 51:42
  Daniel Moore: If we can actually get beyond that, to the what, then God can actually come in and he changes things tremendously, and then we give Him something to work with at that point.
• 51:56
  Michelle Moore: Just a side note you'll have to go back and listen to that episode, because that episode is before we put these all out, so it would be past like four weeks ago.
• 52:09
  Daniel Moore: Oh, that's right.
• 52:09
  Daniel Moore: Yes, thank you for correcting me on that.
• 52:11
  Daniel Moore: I record these ahead of time and sometimes I get out there and they're not waiting on.
• 52:17
  Daniel Moore: That's why I have my wife.
• 52:18
  Daniel Moore: She's not really.
• 52:20
  Daniel Moore: Yes, that was three weeks ago or four weeks ago that you need to go back and check that episode out, but that's a that's very powerful.
• 52:30
  Daniel Moore: And I think unless you guys have something to add to that, I think we're.
• 52:35
  Michelle Moore: Do you, Scotty?
• 52:35
  Michelle Moore: Do you have anything you want to put on here?
• 52:38
  Scottie Albious: Yeah, so just a couple things.
• 52:39
  Scottie Albious: You know, today was we were going over Psalm 51.
• 52:43
  Scottie Albious: And, man, that really hit me, because there's so many times I'm an aggressive person if I get angry so I want to lash out in the flesh and there's times where I'm like man.
• 52:53
  Scottie Albious: I got to fix my heart, I got to get it in check.
• 52:56
  Scottie Albious: Psalm 51, 10 says create me a clean heart, o God.
• 52:59
  Scottie Albious: Renew a loyal spirit within me.
• 53:06
  Scottie Albious: And then it goes on in 11 says do not banish me from your presence, don't take away the Holy Spirit from me.
• 53:12
  Scottie Albious: And, man, how are you supposed to?
• 53:15
  Scottie Albious: For me, it's always been joy, you know.
• 53:18
  Scottie Albious: And so what I mean by create a clean heart is man.
• 53:22
  Scottie Albious: You know, have a and I say this have a heart of like.
• 53:26
  Scottie Albious: You know you're going to battle.
• 53:28
  Scottie Albious: You know, renew that spirit of you know and I've told her many times this situation is not going to rob our joy, it's not going to rob our marriage, it's not going to rob our kids.
• 53:37
  Scottie Albious: We're going to go and we're going to pray and we're going to fight back.
• 53:40
  Scottie Albious: You know we're going to fight and that's all we're going to do.
• 53:42
  Scottie Albious: It's through prayer.
• 53:43
  Scottie Albious: We're going to keep fighting and you know court if you're in a mode of man man.
• 53:49
  Scottie Albious: The court system doesn't see this.
• 53:50
  Scottie Albious: They don't understand the Christian values, they don't respect this.
• 53:54
  Scottie Albious: No, but he's the ultimate judge.
• 53:56
  Scottie Albious: Yes, that's correct, he's going to change things.
• 53:58
  Scottie Albious: He's more powerful than those lawyers, the attorneys, the judges.
• 54:02
  Scottie Albious: He's the judge, that's right, so go after him.
• 54:05
  Scottie Albious: And number two, I was going to say, man, I love being able to do know we get emotional because it's rehashed a lot of hurts and even that pain that you know from two years ago, it's still new and it's raw, you know.
• 54:20
  Scottie Albious: And it also reminds me, man, this is how we battled, we're going to do it again, we're not going to give up.
• 54:25
  Scottie Albious: So it builds our faith.
• 54:28
  Scottie Albious: And you guys have been amazing doing this and because you said, yes, you know, and being obedient, god's going to bless this, god's going to bless your ministries, your heart for marriage.
• 54:39
  Scottie Albious: You guys have been through a lot.
• 54:40
  Scottie Albious: You guys have helped us a lot.
• 54:42
  Scottie Albious: You have no idea how many times we said remember when Dan said this, remember when Michelle did this, remember when they went through that you remember.
• 54:48
  Scottie Albious: So we would use that into our lives too.
• 54:51
  Scottie Albious: So, man, it's been an, it's been an honor to walk and serve with you guys, and I see why God brought us together when we're serving because, man, that was during our toughest times of court, toughest time of you know, I was able to come to you guys and be like man we're struggling with this and you always had an answer to help us.
• 55:08
  Scottie Albious: You guys always had an answer to bring peace and joy and comfort, even by you know, by being obedient and allowing the Holy Spirit to be used by you guys.
• 55:18
  Scottie Albious: So, thank you so much and, man, I'm excited for you guys and your ministries.
• 55:21
  Scottie Albious: Oh, I appreciate that, of course, very much.
• 55:23
  Scottie Albious: Love it.
• 55:24
  Vicky Albious: I wanted to share one more verse, and this was one that God gave me.
• 55:27
  Vicky Albious: It was one of the times we were going through court and I think anyone you know who loves the Lord and maybe going through a tough time times we were going through court and I think anyone you know who loves the Lord and maybe going through a tough time.
• 55:36
  Vicky Albious: But it's in Psalms 5, verse 11 and 12.
• 55:38
  Vicky Albious: And it says but let those that put their trust in thee rejoice.
• 55:43
  Vicky Albious: Let them ever shout for joy because thou defendest them.
• 55:48
  Vicky Albious: Let them also that love thy name be joyful in thee, for thou, lord, wilt bless the righteous With favor.
• 55:57
  Vicky Albious: Wilt thou come past him as with a shield?
• 56:02
  Vicky Albious: And God just spoke that to me one time and it was just, you know, saying I'm your defender, you don't have to battle this out.
• 56:09
  Vicky Albious: You know, like I've got your back and even though, you know, in those times things didn't go exactly how we hoped they would, you know God still had a plan and we still had to trust His heart in that.
• 56:22
  Vicky Albious: And just another thing you know, I encourage you to pray with your spouse and you may say like, oh, I don't know how to do that, or, you know, even just start out simple of thank you for my wife, thank you for my husband, you know, and it's so powerful.
• 56:39
  Vicky Albious: There's been so many times that I've just been struggling and I would say I just need you to pray over me, like I just need that prayer cover from my husband.
• 56:48
  Vicky Albious: You know that's so important.
• 56:50
  Vicky Albious: But yeah, god is our defender and we can trust his heart.
• 56:54
  Scottie Albious: And it's so important.
• 56:54
  Scottie Albious: But, yeah, god is our defender and we can trust his heart.
• 56:55
  Scottie Albious: And that's praying with your spouse.
• 56:56
  Scottie Albious: That's such a powerful form of intimacy.
• 56:58
  Daniel Moore: Yeah.
• 56:58
  Scottie Albious: Because a lot of wives want to hear what's on our hearts what's on our minds?
• 57:01
  Scottie Albious: And so when we're asking God for things and they're listening, you know they get to hear what's in our hearts.
• 57:07
  Scottie Albious: This ministry you guys are doing, you know, even with with this topic blending families I think it's awesome.
• 57:13
  Scottie Albious: I think there needs to be like 40 other podcasts on blending families, because if you're a blended family, you're not alone, right.
• 57:20
  Daniel Moore: You are not alone.
• 57:21
  Daniel Moore: I don't care what you're in church.
• 57:23
  Scottie Albious: There's things where I read this book that says, even though you're divorced, god doesn't hate you.
• 57:28
  Scottie Albious: He hates divorce, but he loves you.
• 57:31
  Scottie Albious: And I was like it's so simple.
• 57:32
  Scottie Albious: If you're in a blending family, you've been divorced.
• 57:34
  Scottie Albious: God loves you Absolutely.
• 57:36
  Scottie Albious: Reach out, look for people, start a ministry at your church or something.
• 57:40
  Vicky Albious: There is healing.
• 57:41
  Vicky Albious: Yes, yeah, I can remember.
• 57:43
  Vicky Albious: I think it was our third year of XO and there was a couple there and they spoke on blended families and I mean, we both sat up there and sobbed like we didn't even have Kleenexes and I'm pretty sure, like we could have went through a box of them that day.
• 57:58
  Vicky Albious: But but it was so healing and there's so many people that need healing.
• 58:05
  Vicky Albious: And I remember them saying you know how they had stuck things out and it had been so hard.
• 58:12
  Vicky Albious: You know but their kids how they had stuck things out and it had been so hard, you know.
• 58:16
  Vicky Albious: But their kids, when they got older, they said to them thank you guys for sticking together and for fighting for us.
• 58:21
  Vicky Albious: You know, and as a family and stuff, and and I just remember thinking, man, I look for that day because that's been several years back over seven years ago, I think, and so you know.
• 58:33
  Vicky Albious: Yeah, god, god has put people in the places to help you know and search it out.
• 58:39
  Vicky Albious: Yeah, that's awesome.
• 58:41
  Vicky Albious: There's help and healing.
• 58:42
  Vicky Albious: So, guys, you know anybody out there?
• 58:45
  Daniel Moore: that's, you know, struggling with feelings of shame and guilt.
• 58:48
  Daniel Moore: You know comparison because of past relationships and things that you've been through.
• 58:53
  Daniel Moore: Definitely rewind the last 15 minutes of this episode.
• 58:59
  Daniel Moore: Just keep listening to it.
• 59:00
  Daniel Moore: There's a lot of you guys have just spoken so much truth and what needs to be heard out there and I want to thank you guys so much for taking your time to sit with us.
• 59:10
  Michelle Moore: Thank you so much and pouring your hearts out.
• 59:12
  Daniel Moore: Yes, yeah, it's.
• 59:13
  Daniel Moore: You know, this side of eternity, we never know who's going to be touched by the things that we do Right.
• 59:19
  Daniel Moore: But you know there's no doubt God uses all of this for His good.
• 59:23
  Daniel Moore: That's true.
• 59:24
  Daniel Moore: And we know that he changes and you know, changes lives, when all of us will speak up right say something, because a lot of times people do feel like they're alone yeah and that's.
• 59:34
  Daniel Moore: That's just not a good place to be right and so I do.
• 59:38
  Daniel Moore: I tremendously, michelle, and I both, you know.
• 59:40
  Daniel Moore: Thank you guys for taking your time out youtube and for being here.
• 59:43
  Daniel Moore: We love you guys, yeah we'll.
• 59:45
  Daniel Moore: We'll look to do this again sometime.
• 59:47
  Daniel Moore: Oh for sure.
• 59:48
  Daniel Moore: We've been wanting to have you all on here, so we've had to find out the perfect opportunity and we'll have some more down the road, I'm sure.
• 59:54
  Michelle Moore: Yeah, because we could go hours and hours oh yeah, oh yeah.
• 59:57
  Daniel Moore: Yeah, no doubt about it.
• 59:58
  Daniel Moore: You know, between the four of us we've got a lot to talk about.
• 1:00:02
  Daniel Moore: So yes, that's for sure.
• 1:00:04
  Daniel Moore: So we're going to go ahead and call it a wrap on this week.
• 1:00:08
  Daniel Moore: Then, If you guys haven't listened to all the episodes, Scotty and Vicki's been with us this week and the last two weeks previous.
• 1:00:16
  Daniel Moore: We've talked about different things that have to do with marriage, and you'll be blessed by each and every one of those.
• 1:00:21
  Daniel Moore: If you've not caught those, so please go back and check those out, but for now, that's going to do it for this weekend.
• 1:00:27
  Daniel Moore: So make sure that you do subscribe so that you don't miss any episodes of our podcast.
• 1:00:31
  Daniel Moore: They roll out each week on Thursdays.
• 1:00:35
  Daniel Moore: I'm Daniel Moore and my wife, Michelle, has been sitting over here with me as my co-host this week.
• 1:00:38
  Daniel Moore: Hi guys, and of course Scotty and Vicki.
• 1:00:40
  Daniel Moore: Thank you again.
• 1:00:41
  Scottie Albious: Thank you.
• 1:00:42
  Daniel Moore: Thank you for being here.
• 1:00:43
  Daniel Moore: This show wouldn't really be possible without any of you that listen out there.
• 1:00:46
  Daniel Moore: If you're a fan of our show, just take a few seconds and give us a five-star click and, of course, please subscribe to your favorite platform, and all of those links are in the show notes.
• 1:00:59
  Daniel Moore: Well, that's all for this week and, as we always say, we pray that your marriage is stronger, your walk with God is closer, after this episode.
• 1:01:06
  Daniel Moore: This is an extension of Connecting the Gap Ministries, and we pray that you have a blessed week.
• 1:01:12
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• 1:01:14
  Aria: In this world, there are many disconnects that cause chaos in our lives.
• 1:01:17
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• 1:01:25
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• 1:01:32
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• 1:02:00
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