Latest / Girl, Date the Good Guy ™ | Healing After Heartbreak & A Toxic Relationship / Breaking Toxic Relationship Cycles: Where Are You in Your Healing Journey?

Transcript

Breaking Toxic Relationship Cycles: Where Are You in Your Healing Journey? · Girl, Date the Good Guy ™ | Healing After Heartbreak & A Toxic Relationship

• 0:00
  He has so much more in store for you, and I am living proof.
• 0:04
  Hey sis, where are you in your journey of breaking toxic cycles and healing
• 0:08
  so you can find godly love?
• 0:10
  I believe each of us is called to a specific space, a place where God can guide
• 0:15
  us, mold us, and prepare us for the kind of love He always intended for us to have.
• 0:21
  In today's episode, we're going to talk about identifying the season you're
• 0:25
  in, whether you're still stuck in a toxic cycle in the middle of your healing
• 0:29
  season or walking in the fruit of God's promise.
• 0:32
  Let's get real about where you are and what it's going to take to move you forward,
• 0:37
  whole, healed, and ready for God's best.
• 0:40
  Hey sis, welcome to Girl Date the Good Guy podcast, the space where we strip
• 0:44
  away the noise and get real about toxic cycles, healing, and stepping into the love God has for us.
• 0:50
  I'm your host, Emily Jordan, and I've been where you are, heartbroken,
• 0:55
  confused, and chasing love that didn't come from God.
• 0:59
  So grab your coffee, your journal, and your heart, and let's begin.
• 1:04
  Before we dive in, I'd love your help.
• 1:07
  If you've been blessed by this podcast, take a moment to follow the show and leave a review.
• 1:12
  Your support helps more women like you find truth, healing, and hope.
• 1:18
  Together, we're helping women
• 1:19
  step into God's best and embrace the kind of love He's designed for us.
• 1:24
  I remember each of my seasons vividly. The toxic cycle I couldn't seem to get out of.
• 1:29
  The one that had me emotionally drained, doubting my worth, and questioning
• 1:33
  if love like God promised even existed. Then came the season of healing.
• 1:37
  Celibacy, silence, and surrender. A season where I had to trust that God's plan
• 1:42
  for love was worth waiting for, even when it didn't make sense.
• 1:45
  And then came the promise.
• 1:47
  The arrival of what I had prayed for, cried for, hoped for, and almost gave up on.
• 1:53
  A godly love that reflected his heart for me.
• 1:57
  Sis, I set an uncertainty too. I questioned if love would ever come.
• 2:01
  I wondered if I was too broken.
• 2:03
  I cried tears in the middle of the night, asking God, when will it be my turn?
• 2:08
  Little did I know his plan was so much greater than mine. And now I walk in that truth.
• 2:13
  And I'm here to tell you, his plan is better, sis.
• 2:17
  Better than you could ever imagine. Now for our teaching.
• 2:23
  Where are you on your journey? We're going to first address breaking the toxic cycle.
• 2:28
  If you're in a cycle of emotional, verbal, or financial abuse,
• 2:32
  and you know deep down you're not being treated in a way that honors God.
• 2:37
  It's time to break the cycle, sis. Some of you are in this cycle right now, and I was there.
• 2:43
  And it is hard to break, but it is absolutely possible.
• 2:47
  I want to go over a few bullet points of why you must break free from this cycle.
• 2:53
  We are all on a different journey. We all become aware at different times and
• 2:57
  decide that enough is enough.
• 3:00
  Number one, God does not call you to abuse or dysfunction.
• 3:03
  God is not a God of chaos. That's number one. Number two, your purpose is on the line.
• 3:08
  The longer you stay, the longer you delay what God wants to do in your life.
• 3:14
  I want to say that again because I think this one's really important.
• 3:16
  The longer you stay, the longer you delay what God wants to do in your life.
• 3:21
  Number three, wounds don't heal in the same environment that broke you.
• 3:26
  Number four, your future is on the line. Jeremiah 29 11 says,
• 3:29
  for I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord.
• 3:33
  And those plans do not include cycles of pain.
• 3:36
  It's not part of God's plan. Number five, your children and generations are watching.
• 3:41
  You're breaking something that they won't have to, sis.
• 3:45
  You've got to fight for your freedom, spiritually and emotionally.
• 3:49
  You are too valuable to settle for less than what God designed for you.
• 3:53
  You're too valuable to your father in heaven.
• 3:56
  He does not want this for his daughters, not a minute longer.
• 3:59
  Some of you may be in the healing season. You're out of the situation.
• 4:04
  You've broke free from it. And now you're like, I need to heal.
• 4:08
  That was something serious because it was something serious.
• 4:11
  Let me tell you something hard but true about this season. Healing is not optional.
• 4:17
  It's not optional. You have to heal from what you just went through.
• 4:21
  And let me give you a few steps on why this matters.
• 4:26
  Number one, you need to learn to love yourself again. What broke you won't sew itself back together.
• 4:32
  It takes time, prayer, and intention.
• 4:35
  Number two, you have to face the pain, shame, and guilt that's been buried,
• 4:40
  especially if you have children who were affected too.
• 4:43
  Their healing is tied to yours. I want to say that again. Their healing is tied to yours.
• 4:49
  Number three, you'll need to forgive yourself for staying too long,
• 4:52
  for what you didn't know, and for what you accepted.
• 4:55
  That's a hard one. That's a hard one. I really battled with that one for a long
• 4:58
  time. Number four, you must learn to set healthy boundaries.
• 5:03
  You need to learn to say no without guilt because that's protection.
• 5:07
  Number five, you'll have to redefine love, not through trauma or pain,
• 5:11
  but through truth and wholeness.
• 5:13
  This season may feel quiet, lonely, even confusing, but it's the most sacred part of your journey.
• 5:19
  It's where you become whole. It's where you grow closer to God.
• 5:23
  It's where you see him move in your life in ways that you could never imagine.
• 5:27
  You wanna receive love when you're whole, not when you're broken.
• 5:30
  Now, number three, for some of you, this is your holy pause season,
• 5:33
  a time of celibacy, healing, and intimacy with God.
• 5:36
  You can't rush the season. You're gonna have to rest in it, seriously.
• 5:40
  It may take some time. If you use this time to let God show you what love really
• 5:45
  looks like, his love, because when you fall in love with him first.
• 5:49
  I promise you, sister, you will never settle again. You won't.
• 5:53
  Number four, walking in godly love.
• 5:55
  Some of you are walking in this season where I am, healed and in a godly relationship.
• 6:00
  Even then, there's still work to do. So let's look at what that season looks
• 6:04
  like. You're learning to love in a healthy way, not from fear, but from freedom.
• 6:08
  You're practicing discernment. Even a godly relationship requires wisdom.
• 6:12
  And this is absolutely true for those who are dating. That might not be an actual
• 6:17
  relationship just yet, knowing that this is the one God has for you.
• 6:21
  Now, some of you may wait and God's going to bring them, like me.
• 6:24
  Some of you may wait and then God brings you into a season of dating.
• 6:27
  And you're going to have to use real discernment during that season of dating.
• 6:30
  Also, you're learning to communicate with grace, not defense.
• 6:33
  You're learning to trust again, slowly but surely.
• 6:36
  And you're nurturing the garden God gave you, tending it with prayer,
• 6:40
  patience, and true intentionality.
• 6:42
  Because there's still even a season before God wants to bring you both together.
• 6:45
  He has to prepare your hearts to receive it because then you're just gonna go
• 6:49
  into the next marriage and mess it up. You don't wanna do that, right?
• 6:52
  So he's going to have to prepare your heart and his heart to come together.
• 6:56
  I needed practice when my guy came around and he was part of my healing,
• 7:00
  which was absolutely a beautiful story.
• 7:02
  I believe God has that for a lot of you where you'll go through the healing,
• 7:05
  a lot of the healing, and then you'll come to a space and you know in your heart,
• 7:09
  if it's time for you to sit and heal, you will know that. I knew it.
• 7:12
  When God called me to that holy pause, I knew it. I was like, yes, sir.
• 7:16
  Yes, sir. I do not need another relationship. I'm a hot mess and I need to get it together.
• 7:21
  While my story was 10 years, that doesn't necessarily mean yours is 10 years.
• 7:25
  Everyone, again, story is different, but I still feel we have seasons that we're
• 7:30
  being called to. If you're in the toxic cycle, get out.
• 7:33
  Then you've got to heal. You got to find that healing, that holy pause,
• 7:37
  that time to spend with God, to get to know him, to let him do the work.
• 7:40
  To draw closer to him in an intimate way that you've never known him.
• 7:43
  And then from there, he'll call you into that dating season.
• 7:46
  And then you still have to learn because you're having to walk it out now.
• 7:50
  Now you're having to walk out that healthy relationship.
• 7:52
  Just remember, the devil will bring counterfeits too. That's why we don't need
• 7:55
  you in a hurry. We need you to pause.
• 7:58
  Healthy love requires healing hearts. It's not perfect, but it's peaceful.
• 8:03
  Okay, so now for your homework.
• 8:04
  Call to action, sister. I want you to journal where you are in your journey.
• 8:10
  Are you breaking the cycle, healing in your holy pause, or walking in love?
• 8:15
  Number two, I want you to ask God for revelation.
• 8:19
  Lord, show me what season I'm truly in. If you're unsure, just ask.
• 8:22
  God will show you. He is a God of confirmation. I know, I've walked with him.
• 8:26
  Number three, write one boundary you're going to start honoring this week.
• 8:31
  Rather that's because you're still in a toxic situation or you're healing and
• 8:38
  you need to learn yourself.
• 8:39
  Because I know one thing, I had to learn myself to a T, who I am and who I'm
• 8:43
  not and what I'm working on.
• 8:45
  Because there's a lot God needed to work out of me and still is.
• 8:49
  I think we're ever walking on these journeys.
• 8:52
  And then I want you to pray over your next step. And remember,
• 8:55
  progress is still progress.
• 8:57
  Even if it's small, celebrate your small wins.
• 9:00
  This is not going to happen overnight. I can't say that enough.
• 9:05
  But wherever you are today, know this.
• 9:08
  God sees you. He's not forgotten about you, and he's not finished with your story.
• 9:13
  This is your journey to becoming the woman who can both receive and sustain a godly love.
• 9:20
  So keep going, keep healing, keep trusting, because God's plan for you,
• 9:25
  for your love story, for you, yes, you, sweet girl, for your love story,
• 9:30
  is still unfolding, and it It is beautiful.
• 9:34
  It is going to be beautiful.
• 9:36
  And I am so excited.
• 9:40
  About that for you. You're tuning in to Girl Date the Good Guy.
• 9:43
  Until next time, keep your heart soft, your standards high, and your faith even higher.