Latest / Sober Readings / Curbing Rashness
Transcript
- Scott Hayes: Welcome back to Sober Readings, everyone. Today is Monday, the twelfth of October. My name is Scott and I am glad you're here with me today for the readings. Let's get started today with the serenity prayer. God grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, courage to change the things we can, and wisdom to know the difference. Today's reading from Daily Reflections Curbing Rashness When we speak or act hastily or rashly, the ability to be fair minded and tolerant evaporates on the spot. That's from Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, page ninety one. Being fair minded and tolerant is a goal toward which I must work daily. I ask God, as I understand Him, to help me to be loving and tolerant to my loved ones and to those with whom I am close contact. I ask for guidance to curb my speech when I am agitated, and I take a moment to reflect on the emotional upheaval my words may cause, not only to someone else, but also to myself. And it mentions that The key to thinking and positive action for me are prayer, meditation, and inventories. And what stood out to me in this reading was the words fair-minded and tolerant. And being fair-minded and tolerant is something I need to continually work toward, not just in my recovery, but in every aspect of my life. It means being willing to listen to others, accepting that people may see things differently than I do. And recognizing that my opinions aren't always right. When I lose sight of these principles, I become more vulnerable to emotional upheavals. And emotional upheavals are periods of intense emotional distress or turmoil when feelings like anger, resentment, fear, frustration, or anxiety begin to overwhelm my ability to think clearly and respond rationally. I've learned that when I allow these emotions to take control, I can say or do things that hurt not only myself but also the people around me. And sometimes the damage caused by a few moments of emotional instability can take a long time to repair. In sobriety, I have to remember that I cannot control what other people think, say, or do, but I can work on how I respond. The twelve steps teach me to examine my own behavior, practice acceptance, let go of resentments. and recognize when my ego is getting in the way. Being fair minded and tolerant doesn't mean I have to agree with everyone or accept unacceptable behavior. It simply means I can disagree without becoming disagreeable. And when I find myself getting emotionally worked up, that's usually a good indication that I need to pause, take a look at myself, and perhaps ask my higher power for a little patience and understanding. Because at the end of the day, Protecting my peace of mind is far more important than proving that I am right. Today's reading from twenty four hours a day, october twelfth, AA Thought for the Day. Am I still on a free ride in AA? It goes on to ask, do I go to meetings and always sit in the back row and let others do all the work? If so, I haven't gone very far in the program, nor am I getting nearly enough of what it has to offer. And finally, I'm not just a spectator, I'm supposed to be one of the team. And the question is, do I go in there and carry the ball? The meditation for the day. Try to be thankful for whatever vision you have. Do your small part every day in the spirit of service to God. In your daily life, try to keep faith with God. Every day brings a new opportunity to be of some use. And it closes out by saying make it a habit to meet the issue squarely as a challenge and not hold back. Today's prayer for the day asks me to perform each task faithfully, that I may meet each issue of life squarely and not hold back. One thing I've learned about recovery is that I can't afford to be just a spectator in the program. It's not enough for me to simply show up at a meeting, sit in a chair, listen to what everyone else has to say, and then go home without making an effort to participate. Sobriety requires action. And one of the most important actions I can take is being of service to others. Whether it's making coffee before a meeting, setting up chairs, greeting a newcomer, offering someone a ride, sharing my experience, or simply picking up the phone when another alcoholic needs someone to talk to, there are opportunities to be helpful all around me. And I don't have to wait for someone to ask. I can take the initiative and look for ways to make someone else's day a little easier. What I've discovered is that when I'm actively involved in helping others, I'm also strengthening my own recovery because service gets me out of my own head, takes a focus off my problems, and reminds me that I'm part of something much bigger than myself. It helps me practice humility, develop gratitude, build meaningful relationships, and stay connected to the program. Perhaps most importantly, it gives me a sense of purpose and belonging that alcohol never could. I've learned from experience that when I start distancing myself from the program, when meetings become optional and I stop reaching out to others, I'm putting my sobriety at risk. That's why I need to remember that recovery isn't something I could just sit back and watch happen. I have to participate. And sometimes the best thing I can do for my own sobriety is to stop worrying so much about myself and find someone else I can help. After all, we keep what we have by giving it away. And finally, today a reading from As Bill sees it from page thirty one in God's Economy. We did not always come closer to wisdom by reasons of our virtues. Our better understanding is often rooted in the pains of our former follies. Because this has been the essence of our individual experience, it is also the essence of our experience as a fellowship. And that came from a grapevine article from November of nineteen sixty one. I think what this passage is telling me is that some of the greatest lessons I've learned in life were Haven't come from the things I've done right, but from the things I've done wrong. Wisdom doesn't always come from making good choices, practicing good judgment, or living according to my values. Sometimes it comes from the pain and suffering I've caused myself and others through my own selfish choices. When I look back at my drinking, the mistakes I've made, the relationships I've damaged, and even my relapse after years of sobriety. I can see that some of my most valuable lessons came from those painful experiences. I certainly wouldn't want to repeat them, but I also can't deny what they've taught me about humility, honesty, acceptance, and the importance of staying connected to my program. And I think that's what makes Alcoholics Anonymous so powerful as a fellowship. We're not a group of people who came together because we always made the right choices. Quite the opposite. We came together because we made mistakes, suffered consequences, and eventually found a better way to live. Our collective wisdom comes from sharing those experiences, learning from one another's failures as well as successes, and using what we've learned to help the next person. The mistakes of my past don't have to define who I am today, but they can help guide the person I'm trying to become. And when I share those experiences honestly, even the painful and embarrassing ones, They may help someone else avoid making the same mistakes. That's the beauty of this program. The very experiences that once brought us so much pain can become the experiences that allow us to help another alcoholic find hope, understanding, and recovery. Thank you so much for listening to Sober Readings today. If you'd like to be a guest on Sober Readings and share your experience, strength and hope, or your take on today's readings. There's a link in the show notes below to send me an email. You'll also find a link in the show notes to my website, sobereadings.com, where you can learn more about sober readings and stay connected. And also, if you'd like to drop a dollar in the virtual donation basket for today's readings, just go to the support page on the website and click the button that says drop a dollar in the basket. So again, thank you so much for listening. Remember, just for today, don't drink, go to a meeting, and keep coming back. Have a great day everyone, and as my friend Larry says, best day ever.