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How do i know that im not a narcissist? · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful people?
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  Welcome to another episode of The Narcissist Code.
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  I'm your favorite selfaware narcissist, Mr. Lee Hammock,
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  better known as mental illness across all social media
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  platforms. It's the first time seeing my
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  face. I hear my lovely voice.
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  I'm a clinically diagnosed narcissist and I use my platform
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  on social media to raise wardens for MPD, get more people in the
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  therapy and also validate the victims, survivors and thrivers
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  of said disorder, said toxic people said toxic traits.
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  Today's episode is going to be about how do I know, how do you
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  know that you're not the narcissist?
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  That's one of the main questions that I get across all of my
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  platforms on social media. Like literally every single
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  platform this question or a form of this question is ask ask to
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  me nearly just about every single day, all day.
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  Y'all, Seriously. So before we hop in today's
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  episode, y'all make sure you, if you have it, tuned in every
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  single Thursday at 9:00 PM Eastern Standard Time for my
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  live show called Waving the Red Flag.
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  We have guest, We have live guest story time.
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  A lot of things that help people heal and grow from narcissistic
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  toxic abuse and whatnot every Thursday, 9:00 PM Eastern
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  Standard Time. Let's hop into it, though.
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  Y'all. So how do you know that you're
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  not the narcissist? So I know a lot of people will
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  say just asking that question right there, Lee, should be,
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  should, should be enough, shouldn't it?
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  Asking the question, Am I the narcissist?
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  Is that not enough? Because narcissists are
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  typically not selfreflective? Yeah.
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  So is that question generally? Does the question generally
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  work? Like, if you ask yourself, am I
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  the narcissist? Does it normally mean that
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  you're not a narcissist? Yeah, that's how it normally
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  goes. But I asked myself that question
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  after my wife called me a narcissist.
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  Like damn, am I a narcissist. So I asked myself that question.
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  A few of the other self award narcissist that I've dealt with
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  of I've interacted with online say very say the same thing or
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  something very similar to it. Am I the narcissist?
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  I do this Lee, hey I do that y'all or you'll see a video of
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  mine that you that resonates with you.
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  You know what I mean? It's always just say am I?
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  If you ask yourself, am I the narcissist?
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  Ask yourself this question right here.
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  Do you have empathy? And not just like I said.
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  Yes, narcissists have some empathy, but are you always
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  empathetic? Are you mostly empathetic?
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  You know what I mean? Do Do people not have to earn
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  your empathy? Do you have natural empathy
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  towards different situations that don't involve you?
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  You know, do you have enough empathy to go around?
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  Because my empathy take is extremely low this be, and
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  that's me being realistic. The empathy take of me, mine is
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  extremely low in these situations, in these dynamics.
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  So do you have empathy? Enough empathy to go around and
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  whatnot? You know what I mean?
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  Because it's it's it's in a situation right there.
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  The narcissists typically lack empathy.
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  Not all narcissists have low empathy, but like most of the
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  time, narcissists lack empathy. It's an it has an empathy
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  deficit. So do you have empathy?
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  Are you asking, do you care about other people?
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  Can you put yourself in other people's shoes and and have an
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  emotional reaction? Not just because I can put
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  myself in other people's shoes, but I don't have an emotional
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  reaction. Do you have an emotional
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  reaction when you put yourself in somebody else's shoes?
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  Like, if you imagine something happening to you, can you put
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  yourself in somebody else's shoes in that aspect, right
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  there, in that inside of that dynamic right there?
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  Because that matters. Y'all that really, really does
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  matter, not just to me, but to most people.
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  If you, if you ask yourself, am I a narcissist?
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  Like, do you have that empathy for other people?
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  You know what I mean? It's a very interesting dynamic,
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  a very interesting space to kind of go into and deal with and
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  whatnot. So ask yourself that question.
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  Do you have that empathy level? You know, Because that helps you
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  out. You know more empathy kind of
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  helps you disqualify yourself. A narcissist.
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  Also, this is my personal thing right here.
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  Y'all intent matters. Intent matters.
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  What is your intent like? If you're doing stuff, if you're
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  doing, if you find yourself doing you know bad things, you
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  know intent matters. Y'all the intention behind your
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  actions matters. Do you have good intent or is it
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  always self-serving intent? Yes, the impact is important.
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  Y'all know I have my brand myself love brand.
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  I have the impact over intent shirt because impact is impact
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  is important to say. But what is the intent behind
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  your actions? Are your actions intentionally,
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  intentionally malicious, Set out to hurt people?
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  Are you trying to hurt people? And from a self-serving
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  perspective, from a self sort, self-serving point of view, are
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  you trying to hurt people with something you know, with your
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  actions, with your behaviors? Are you intentionally trying to
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  hurt somebody or multiple people?
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  Are you super self-serving? You know what I mean?
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  What is the intent behind your actions and whatnot?
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  Y'all what is the intent behind your actions?
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  You know, another thing, like I said, another thing you can just
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  kind of help focus in on If you ask yourself, am I a narcissist?
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  Self reflect? Like, look, the ability to look
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  back at your stuff and wonder, like just think about this.
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  Are you hurting people? If you think you're hurting
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  people, just like, damn, I'm my actions are hurting people.
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  Let me change my actions. You see what I'm saying?
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  That's self reflection. That's that's that's being able
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  to look back and be, you know, being able to look at the
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  situation that you're in, you're currently involved in and just
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  be like, okay, Yeah, I'm hurting these people.
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  Let me stop these behaviors because these behaviors are not
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  healthy. Let me stop these behaviors
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  because these behaviors are hurting not only myself, but
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  they're hurting other people as well.
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  Do you know what I mean? The ability to self reflect and
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  just like, damn, I'm hurting people.
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  My actions are hurting people. Let me change these actions.
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  Let me, you know another thing, let me go to therapy.
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  Are you willing to go actually go to therapy and work on it and
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  be open and honest? You know what I mean?
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  Are you willing to be open and honest with a therapist or with
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  a counselor, somebody that they actually listen to you and help
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  you? You know, empathy, empathy,
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  intent. You know, are you hurting
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  people? Like look at your situation.
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  Like damn, I'm I'm hurting these people.
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  If you can, try to. If you can kind of internally
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  check in with yourself and like Dang, I am hurting these people.
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  Let me stop these actions. That typically means you're not
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  narcissistic. Y'all, because most narcissists
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  are not thinking that most narcissists again, they're all
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  three super self-serving people and end up hurting people with
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  their actions and don't care. Hey, narcissist like myself, you
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  know how I especially how I used to be, you know, I don't care if
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  it affects you as long as I'm serving myself, as long as I'm
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  getting my needs met, I typically don't care how it
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  affects anybody else and that's just how I go typically.
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  I don't care how my actions affect anybody else as long as
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  my own needs are being met in that moment or as long as my own
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  needs are going to be close to being met in that moment or in
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  the near future and things like this.
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  Y'all you know, are you? Like I said, another thing.
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  Y'all are you. If you feel like you're hurting
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  people, are you? Do you have the ability to try
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  to be better? Like in honestly, be better for
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  everybody around you? Be a better person, like self.
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  Reflect self. Reflect on your past
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  transgressions, your past behaviors.
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  It's like okay. I'm actively going to be better.
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  I'm going to work on this. I'm going to take accountability
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  because they were right there. Y'all accountability.
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  Are you able to take accountability for your
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  behaviors without blaming someone else?
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  Are you able to just say yes? I also made also I made an error
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  here and this is on me and take your ability to actually take
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  accountability. No, to have the ability to
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  actually take accountability and go from there with it, work with
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  it from there from their perspective right there.
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  Do you have the ability to do that?
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  Because a lot of people lack the ability to do that.
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  You see what I'm saying? A lot of people don't have that
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  ability. A lot of people don't, you know
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  don't have don't possess the ability to not, not a lot of
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  people, a lot of narcissists don't possess the ability to do
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  that. Y'all to just literally look at
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  themselves and just be like okay.
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  Let me change myself for the better and or how am I affecting
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  people and what not. You know to move forward to try
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  to be a better person and to take that accountability, that
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  accountability matters. Y'all and it is.
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  It is something that is extremely important.
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  We deal with narcissistic people.
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  You know that they if you are able to take accountability and
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  offer genuine apologies, y'all if you are.
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  You know if you are able, if you are able to offer a genuine
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  apology. Not not a blanket statement.
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  And y'all know what I mean by blanket statements.
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  Blanket statement apology. Sounds something like, you know
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  I did this, but you know I did. What about what you did?
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  Hey, I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry I hurt you.
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  How did you hurt them? Are you able to offer a genuine
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  apology You doing? Are you able to offer a genuine
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  apology? You know, are you willing to
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  change yourself and not trying to change everybody else around
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  you to fit you? The narcissistic people
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  typically don't want to change themselves.
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  They want to change the people around them to fit them.
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  Are you willing to change yourself, to fit around people
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  you know in a genuine way, in a genuine, like change your
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  behaviors? Especially if your behaviors are
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  toxic because everybody, everybody exudes some toxic
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  behaviors. Y'all, If you're exhibiting
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  these toxic behaviors, are you willing to change those
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  behaviors in order to fit around people?
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  Or are you just set in your ways to be able to not?
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  Are you just so set in your ways?
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  Did you feel like No. Are you so entitled?
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  Did you be like, you know what? I'm not changing anything about
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  me. If they want to deal with me,
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  they got to change themselves to be around me.
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  What are you sounding like? Y'all.
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  Who are which? Which?
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  Which person are you in this situation right here?
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  You know? Are you willing to work on
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  yourselves? Are you willing to have people
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  work on themselves to tolerate you, to set your boundaries and
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  whatnot? You know what I mean, Because
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  that's one of the things right there.
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  Y'all like if you are willing to change yourself and work on
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  yourself knowing that your behaviors are toxic and
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  affecting other people, that typically means you're not a
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  narcissist. Because narcissist, again,
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  they're narcissists try to change their environments to fit
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  them, where non narcissistic people typically try to change
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  themselves to fit into the environment that they want to be
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  a part of. And this is not being
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  manipulative, This is not, you know, being fake.
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  This is actually genuinely working on yourself, especially
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  if you've exhibited some toxic behaviors to be able to fit
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  into, you know, a societal spot, a culture or something like
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  something along those lines. You may are you intentionally.
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  Like I said again, y'all. A lot of these situations can
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  apply to a lot of people. But, like, if you exhibit toxic
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  behaviors, you know, if you if you exhibit, you know, you had
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  to look up reactive abuse because reactive abuse happens
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  to so many people. When you're dealing with
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  narcissists and talks to people, like reactive abuse is when you
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  explode because somebody else has done something to you like
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  they poked it. They poked, poked you and
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  prodded you and set you off and triggered you to the point where
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  you're yelling and screaming and throwing stuff or doing
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  something like that. How did you get there?
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  Go ask yourself, how did you get to this point?
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  Of course you can take accountability to say, damn, I
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  did, I did react, you know, but how did you get here?
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  But I'll blame somebody else. How did you get here?
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  You get, like I said, how did you get to this point?
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  Okay. I was doing this.
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  My mom died and my partner knows I don't like to talk about my
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  mom. And they just kept bringing my
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  mom up. Even though I asked them to
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  stop, they kept talking about how hard will my mom.
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  I had my mom was worthless. My mom does.
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  My mom, dad. And then I exploded.
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  How did you get here? Y'all Ask yourself, how did I
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  get here? You know, because that means a
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  lot of stuff right there. Are you okay with boundaries?
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  And this is another question. This is the last one.
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  I can do a part with this too. Y'all.
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  But are you okay with boundaries being set?
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  And are you able to set healthy boundaries?
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  Are you able to respect someone else's boundaries?
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  And are you able to set healthy boundaries for yourself or the
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  people around you? You see what I'm saying?
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  If somebody sets a boundary on you, you don't take offense to
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  the boundary. It might hurt your feelings a
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  little bit, but you respect people's boundaries and don't
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  try to jump over that boundary. Don't try to push back against
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  that boundary. Are you able to respect
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  boundaries? Because most narcissists y'all.
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  Most narcissists, Let's keep it hot.
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  Let's keep it real. Most nurses do not like
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  boundaries being set on them. That's just that if you set a
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  boundary, narcissists typically explode and cut it off.
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  If you are, are you exhibiting narcissistic?
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  Out of control, rage? Y'all are you?
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  Are you giving your partner to silent treatment?
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  Like if you're willing to go work on those things and sitting
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  in the therapist, right. Typically y'all and acknowledge
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  your part in it. I feel like that means you're
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  not a narcissist. Get narcissist.
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  Do that. I'm a narcissist that with the
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  therapy work to himself. But most narciss you know go to
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  therapy, get get diagnosed, go take a psyche vow.
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  See, you know if you think you're narcissist, go take a
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  psyche vow. So consider that comes the way
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  it might. Knowing helps you know.
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  Regardless whether you're narcissist or not.
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  Knowing can help you. Anyways, y'all think y'all will
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  tune into another episode. Hope y'all enjoyed it Again.
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  Again. Again, y'all.
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  Make sure y'all tune into my live show on Thursdays 9:00 PM
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  Eastern Center Time on YouTube and Facebook.
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  Like it and subscribe for more and it's always y'all the two.
• 12:08
  This is out peace. Thanks for making it to the end.
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  Y'all. If you haven't already, make
• 12:12
  sure you check out the I Love Me Brandy self Love brand Link is
• 12:16
  the description of every single video and podcast that we do.
• 12:18
  Thank you so much.