Latest / DA CREW Podcast / "HEALING VOICES, NAVIGATING THROUGH GRIEF"W/ CHENIERA, APOSTLE DR KIMBERLY , DANIELLE , SHANETTE , TRIVEDA & QUEEN ANGELA

Transcript

"HEALING VOICES, NAVIGATING THROUGH GRIEF"W/ CHENIERA, APOSTLE DR KIMBERLY , DANIELLE , SHANETTE , TRIVEDA & QUEEN ANGELA · DA CREW Podcast

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: M hmm.
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: Good evening, Good evening, Good evening. I want to welcome
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: you to healing voices, navigating through breath, a safe place
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: where your heart's pain, it's honored, your story is heard,
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: and your healing is embraced. Grief is a journey, often
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: winding and unpredictable, but you do not have to walk
• 1:17
  Speaker 2: it along. On this show, we open the conversation around
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: loss where it's losing, whether it's losing a loved one,
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: a relationship, a dream, or a way of life. Here
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: we share stories, advice, compassionate support, and shine a light
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: on path towards hope and peace. Each episode is an
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: opportunity to learn, connect, and heal in our community. Because
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: the voice of grief is not just pain, it's also love, strength,
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: and resilience. Let's navigate this journey together, one step at
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: a time, one story at a time. We're gonna bring
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: up my co hosts for tonight and we're gonna have
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: a conversation. One of our co hosts tonight, I'm gonna
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: share her journey with grief. We want to bring them up. Well,
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: we're gonna jump in this conversation.
• 2:28
  Speaker 3: Well again.
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: Welcome, Welcome, Welcome, Hello, can y'all hear me? I know
• 2:46
  Speaker 2: all of y'all not on the screen yet. Yes, can
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: y'all hear me? Can y'all hear me? Yes?
• 2:55
  Speaker 3: Yes, I'm not hearing anyone.
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: Danielle, you mute it, Apostle, you muted, Shaniraa.
• 3:03
  Speaker 3: You're muted.
• 3:08
  Speaker 4: Yes, we can hear you.
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: Yellow. Uh h, Hello, Hello, Hello, y'all hear me, Yes,
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: we can hear you. Welcome, Welcome, Welcome, welcome, good evening, Shanette.
• 3:40
  Speaker 2: If you would start by introducing yourself. Uh h, can
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: you hear me? I can hear you.
• 3:52
  Speaker 5: Okay. My name is Janette Johnson. I'm a mother of four.
• 3:59
  Speaker 5: My son try position November ten, twenty three. I found
• 4:07
  Speaker 5: him responsive in his room. He had justin heart failure,
• 4:14
  Speaker 5: so when he went to sleep, he just didn't wake up.
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: I'm a grandmother for.
• 4:22
  Speaker 5: My husband is currently incarcerated MOFULLY in Denver, Colorado. So
• 4:30
  Speaker 5: I've been on this brief journey basically by myself, but
• 4:38
  Speaker 5: I'm getting through it with a group of ladies that
• 4:46
  Speaker 5: I've grown to love so dearly.
• 4:48
  Speaker 4: And I can't I have things or anybody.
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: Well, I can hear you, So you might want to
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: go out and well, what about me? Are you able
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: to hear me?
• 5:05
  Speaker 3: I hear you. I can hear you.
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: Okay, Trevieda may want to go out and come back in.
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: Are you finished?
• 5:22
  Speaker 5: Oh yeah, I can heara just fine. I just can't
• 5:27
  Speaker 5: see her.
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: Apostle, If you will introduce yourself, good evening.
• 5:38
  Speaker 4: I am apostle doctor Kimberly Thomas. I am the overseer
• 5:43
  Speaker 4: of Destiny Church of God here in Tallahassee, as well
• 5:46
  Speaker 4: as Divine Healing Ministries in Ozark, Alabama, and Faith International
• 5:53
  Speaker 4: Ministries in Spartanburg, South Carolina. I am grateful for the
• 5:58
  Speaker 4: opportunity to serve and to be a part of this
• 6:02
  Speaker 4: podcast in healing our grief. This is truly grief is
• 6:07
  Speaker 4: a journey and we all need to find our way
• 6:11
  Speaker 4: to healing, and it is done step by step, one
• 6:15
  Speaker 4: day at a time. There is no set time for
• 6:18
  Speaker 4: your journey to be completed, but as we go through,
• 6:23
  Speaker 4: we should be healing every step of the way. Once again,
• 6:26
  Speaker 4: I'm grateful for this opportunity to be here tonight, and
• 6:31
  Speaker 4: I pray that God will be in our mist and
• 6:34
  Speaker 4: speak to us tonight.
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: I can't hear nobody now. I'm gonna have to go
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: out and come back in. H. I'm here. I heard
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: a pasco. I can hear you too, Can y'all hear me?
• 7:37
  Speaker 3: Yes?
• 7:38
  Speaker 2: I can hear you, y'all. I don't know what's going
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: on tonight, but I can't hear. I can't hear nobody.
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: And it says that everybody is muted at the bottom.
• 7:55
  Speaker 2: So dn we can hear yourself. No, I can't hear Danielle.
• 8:11
  Speaker 3: She's saying nothing.
• 8:14
  Speaker 6: Mh.
• 8:15
  Speaker 2: She wasn't saying anything. Now she's going off the screen. Shani,
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: can you introduce yourself?
• 8:24
  Speaker 5: Can you hear me? H?
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: Hello?
• 8:31
  Speaker 7: Can you guys hear me?
• 8:33
  Speaker 3: Yes?
• 8:34
  Speaker 8: Okay, Hello everyone, I'm sharing your osborn. I'm a mother
• 8:39
  Speaker 8: of three and a grandmother of two, a wife, I'm
• 8:45
  Speaker 8: an author, uh and I'm just happy and thanking God
• 8:49
  Speaker 8: for allowing me to be here, to be on this
• 8:53
  Speaker 8: platform because likeness impossible. Kimly said that people gree different.
• 9:00
  Speaker 8: Everybody don't grieve the same. So this also is teaching
• 9:04
  Speaker 8: me of of my family members that passed on and
• 9:09
  Speaker 8: how to still grieve, you know, with different things of
• 9:14
  Speaker 8: just life itself.
• 9:15
  Speaker 7: So I just say thank you for allowing me to
• 9:18
  Speaker 7: be on here today.
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: Hey man, well, thank you for joining us. Danielle or
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: are you able to come on as it says you
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: are muted? Okay, you had dropped her. I guess she's
• 9:37
  Speaker 2: back now, Okay, can you introduce yourself?
• 9:54
  Speaker 3: Yes?
• 9:54
  Speaker 6: Can everybody hear me?
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: Okay?
• 9:56
  Speaker 6: Yes, okay, perfect, Okay, sorry about that. It's it's gonna
• 9:59
  Speaker 6: be one of those nights who we're gonna keep going.
• 10:01
  Speaker 6: We can do this, okay.
• 10:03
  Speaker 7: So hi everyone.
• 10:04
  Speaker 6: My name is Danielle and I am a certified grief
• 10:07
  Speaker 6: coach and I recently also became a bereatment DULA And
• 10:11
  Speaker 6: so for me, loss just seems to be something never ending,
• 10:14
  Speaker 6: as it's going to be the two year anniversary of
• 10:17
  Speaker 6: my father suddenly passing away in July, and then also
• 10:20
  Speaker 6: as I am dealing with anticipatory grief with my grandmother
• 10:24
  Speaker 6: that's ninety, that's on hospice, so just really navigating grief overall.
• 10:29
  Speaker 6: It seems like it's just always at my door. But
• 10:31
  Speaker 6: just glad to be here to have this conversation with
• 10:33
  Speaker 6: you all.
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: Amen, Amen, and miss Trevita, she just dropped off again.
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: It's gonna be one of those nights, y'all. She was
• 10:47
  Speaker 2: on that she just dropped off, so hopefully she'll be back.
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: She's actually the conversation that we're going to be having
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: on tonight. She is coming up on her two year
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: anniversary of losing her mom. She lost her mom in
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: this month, but her birthday, her sixty sixth birthday, is
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: this coming Saturday, so I wanted to have a conversation
• 11:13
  Speaker 2: with her to see how she's doing considering her mom. Second,
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: her mom sixty sixth birthday and second year without her
• 11:22
  Speaker 2: is coming up, so hopefully she'll be able to join
• 11:25
  Speaker 2: us back. So while we're waiting for her to come back,
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: I just want to go around the room, go around
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: the studio, and just give everybody an opportunity to touch
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: on their grief process, maybe share something about a grief
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: situation that they have to that they've dealt with and
• 11:53
  Speaker 2: how they got over it. So we'll start with what's
• 11:59
  Speaker 2: the up with Shaniya, and then Danielle, and then Shanette
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: and then Apostle.
• 12:09
  Speaker 8: Okay, Well, I had so many uh family member that
• 12:15
  Speaker 8: passed away, but one that really sticks out to me
• 12:18
  Speaker 8: is it was something my best friend. She was like
• 12:22
  Speaker 8: a sister, We grew up together, we had kids together.
• 12:28
  Speaker 8: She was in the room with me when I was
• 12:31
  Speaker 8: having my children and all that, and she always wanted
• 12:37
  Speaker 8: she wanted a wedding, and we could never understand.
• 12:41
  Speaker 4: Why she was.
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: Uh.
• 12:42
  Speaker 8: She pushed the wedding so fast, she did, she really did,
• 12:46
  Speaker 8: and but she bent it kept pushing on our heart.
• 12:58
  Speaker 8: Can you guys hear me?
• 13:04
  Speaker 3: Yes?
• 13:05
  Speaker 4: I you.
• 13:08
  Speaker 8: So she ended up planning her wedding. She planned hehrle
• 13:11
  Speaker 8: wed not and everything. We all went to the wedding.
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: And it was a year later.
• 13:19
  Speaker 8: She was at work and she fell out at work
• 13:23
  Speaker 8: and they ended up taking her to the hospital and
• 13:27
  Speaker 8: she was talking and everything. So they wanted to know
• 13:30
  Speaker 8: what really was going why she.
• 13:32
  Speaker 5: Fell out like that.
• 13:33
  Speaker 8: And then they came back and told her that she
• 13:36
  Speaker 8: had a blood clot around her heart. So they told
• 13:40
  Speaker 8: her they didn't they had to go ahead and do
• 13:43
  Speaker 8: ah a you know, a mercy surgery on her sou
• 13:50
  Speaker 8: Her mom and sister then was crying, but she kept
• 13:52
  Speaker 8: telling them what y'all crying for?
• 13:54
  Speaker 5: I'm'a be okay, you know.
• 13:56
  Speaker 7: So they pushed on back there to do the certain
• 14:00
  Speaker 7: It wasn't even thirty minutes.
• 14:02
  Speaker 8: They came back and told the family that when they
• 14:05
  Speaker 8: opened her up, the blood clock burst and she.
• 14:11
  Speaker 5: Didn't make it. That right there.
• 14:16
  Speaker 8: Really touched me because she she left behind small kids,
• 14:21
  Speaker 8: two boys and a little girl.
• 14:23
  Speaker 5: She always wanted a little girl.
• 14:26
  Speaker 7: She ended up, you know, she was blessed with a
• 14:28
  Speaker 7: little girl and.
• 14:28
  Speaker 8: Everything, but it just really broke my heart to see that.
• 14:35
  Speaker 4: That she left like that.
• 14:37
  Speaker 7: But one thing that still got.
• 14:38
  Speaker 8: The most to me is that she told her family
• 14:41
  Speaker 8: she was gonna be okay. So that right there, I
• 14:45
  Speaker 8: still think about that every day, even sometimes when we
• 14:50
  Speaker 8: look at the wedding pitches and the videos of us
• 14:54
  Speaker 8: having a good time at her wedding. And that was
• 14:57
  Speaker 8: the saddest thing for me because she she planted it,
• 15:01
  Speaker 8: She planned that wa that waited a year before she
• 15:04
  Speaker 8: passed away.
• 15:05
  Speaker 7: So that was one of the ones of of all
• 15:09
  Speaker 7: that it still got the most with me.
• 15:11
  Speaker 8: Uh, losing somebody you know that was young, I was
• 15:16
  Speaker 8: older than her, but just knowing that her little girl
• 15:20
  Speaker 8: won't see her mama normalst So so that was one
• 15:23
  Speaker 8: of the ones that that still bother me sometimes.
• 15:34
  Speaker 6: Then y'all, let's say thank you just so much for
• 15:38
  Speaker 6: sharing that. That does sound like a heartbreaking loss. I
• 15:40
  Speaker 6: really was as you were talking, I see about this
• 15:43
  Speaker 6: topic of moving through grief, and I know a lot
• 15:45
  Speaker 6: of times people just say, Okay, you just get over it.
• 15:47
  Speaker 6: You have that one year time limited grief. And yet
• 15:50
  Speaker 6: as we look back, we have the anniversaries, we have
• 15:53
  Speaker 6: grief triggers, we hear a song, we something reminds us
• 15:56
  Speaker 6: of that person. And so just for me personally, just
• 15:59
  Speaker 6: think about just back to back to back grief, not
• 16:03
  Speaker 6: just losses like physical losses, but just for example, I'm
• 16:06
  Speaker 6: a single mom and my daughter has special needs, and
• 16:08
  Speaker 6: we just keep getting one diagnosis after another diagnosis after
• 16:11
  Speaker 6: another diagnosis, and figuring out what comes next, and literally
• 16:16
  Speaker 6: navigating through the grief when milestones aren't met, or as
• 16:19
  Speaker 6: I mentioned, with my grandmother, and one day she's good
• 16:22
  Speaker 6: and the next day she's not so good, and we're like, well, God,
• 16:24
  Speaker 6: what do we do? You know what's best for her?
• 16:27
  Speaker 6: What do we do next? So, you know, just in
• 16:30
  Speaker 6: all of that, I feel like the grief is still there.
• 16:33
  Speaker 6: I wake up with it, it's there during the days,
• 16:36
  Speaker 6: sometimes keeps me company, go to sleep with it, but
• 16:38
  Speaker 6: just thankful for God's provision and his faithfulness and reminders
• 16:42
  Speaker 6: that He's with us no matter what we're facing.
• 16:51
  Speaker 3: Ayma Shounet.
• 16:58
  Speaker 5: What sticks out with me is the last day that
• 17:03
  Speaker 5: I seen my son. How we take life for granted.
• 17:12
  Speaker 5: And the reason why I said that is because you know,
• 17:15
  Speaker 5: we moved so fast and we don't stop to just
• 17:20
  Speaker 5: take in everything are surrounding.
• 17:24
  Speaker 2: And that day when.
• 17:28
  Speaker 5: My son transitioned, it wasn't you know, life was just
• 17:33
  Speaker 5: gone and I was just moving so fast and I
• 17:36
  Speaker 5: didn't have I wasn't thinking that my son was going
• 17:41
  Speaker 5: to transition that day. You know, you just go on
• 17:45
  Speaker 5: around life. You're just doing what having a normal date.
• 17:49
  Speaker 5: And I knew my son was sick. I knew my
• 17:54
  Speaker 5: son was on hospice. I left my job a year
• 17:59
  Speaker 5: prior to stay home to care for him because he
• 18:03
  Speaker 5: went on a heart transplant list and he was actually
• 18:06
  Speaker 5: waiting on a heart and his heart was performing at
• 18:12
  Speaker 5: fifteen percent at the time, but you couldn't tell that
• 18:17
  Speaker 5: he needed a heart transplant because he was still active.
• 18:22
  Speaker 5: He was still riding a bike, he was still doing
• 18:26
  Speaker 5: what he wanted needed to do at thirty one years
• 18:30
  Speaker 5: of age.
• 18:31
  Speaker 2: And I remember him.
• 18:34
  Speaker 5: As I was packing. I remember him standing by my
• 18:38
  Speaker 5: door because I was asking him because his auntie was
• 18:41
  Speaker 5: telling me that he had passed out that prior Sunday,
• 18:48
  Speaker 5: and I asked him. I said, Kyle, you passed out
• 18:52
  Speaker 5: And he was like, who told you that? And I
• 18:56
  Speaker 5: just brushed it off and I was like, nevernd, you know,
• 19:01
  Speaker 5: and I just brusted off. And I just seen him,
• 19:04
  Speaker 5: and you know, he went into the kitchen and he
• 19:08
  Speaker 5: got him a bowl of cereal, and I just you know,
• 19:11
  Speaker 5: went in there and spoke to him. I went in
• 19:14
  Speaker 5: my room and I heard him go in his room.
• 19:17
  Speaker 5: Not to think that that would be the last time
• 19:21
  Speaker 5: I had a conversation with my son. And a couple
• 19:27
  Speaker 5: of hours later I go in to myrow. Am I
• 19:32
  Speaker 5: going to his room and to find that, you know,
• 19:38
  Speaker 5: the time when I found my son, it was beyond
• 19:47
  Speaker 5: cpr Rigod Warders had already set up in my baby.
• 19:52
  Speaker 5: He was already stiffed and to be able to to
• 20:00
  Speaker 5: feel the stiffness in his in the body, you know.
• 20:08
  Speaker 4: But and.
• 20:15
  Speaker 5: We just take life for granted. And when they when
• 20:19
  Speaker 5: when the Bible speaks of life, it's a vapor it
• 20:22
  Speaker 5: is woman, we hear and the next minute we're in paradise.
• 20:28
  Speaker 5: And I'm sorry, you guys.
• 20:39
  Speaker 3: Just yeah, right, It's okay.
• 20:49
  Speaker 5: I'm only twenty months out and I just celebrated his birth.
• 20:56
  Speaker 5: He would have been thirty three this past June eleventh,
• 21:02
  Speaker 5: and I still cope with it. I had someone be
• 21:08
  Speaker 5: real cruel and that nasty to me just a week
• 21:13
  Speaker 5: ago where she went on my and it was my
• 21:17
  Speaker 5: cousin wife. I was sitting at my son's grave and
• 21:23
  Speaker 5: she went on my post and she put laughing emojis
• 21:29
  Speaker 5: on a picture of me sitting that she was laughing
• 21:33
  Speaker 5: at me sitting on at his grave. And I've been
• 21:38
  Speaker 5: dealing with that lately, and you know, but I'm I'm
• 21:43
  Speaker 5: I'm getting over it because I know what God said.
• 21:50
  Speaker 5: I know what God said, and that's where I get
• 21:52
  Speaker 5: my strength from. That's where I'm drawing my strength from
• 21:56
  Speaker 5: is through Him and and then through the people that
• 22:00
  Speaker 5: He has around me. And and I know she's just
• 22:04
  Speaker 5: being an evil, big, vendicant person. And I know I
• 22:11
  Speaker 5: know God said, even though the weapons may form against me,
• 22:14
  Speaker 5: they're not gonna prosper. So I just keep on pushing.
• 22:18
  Speaker 5: And I know the life that my son lived, and
• 22:21
  Speaker 5: I know where my son is resting. So I just
• 22:23
  Speaker 5: say to you guys, just like I'm having my moment.
• 22:27
  Speaker 5: Just have your moment and just don't stay there.
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: Somebody's echoing, who just turned there? Who just turned who
• 22:46
  Speaker 2: just unmuted? Somebody's hold on to shouldn't it? I'm sorry,
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: go ahead, so Herd, I'm done.
• 23:09
  Speaker 5: I just, you know, I just I apologize.
• 23:14
  Speaker 2: You know, it's just it's some need to apologize. I mean,
• 23:18
  Speaker 2: I tell people all the time, you know, it's okay
• 23:21
  Speaker 2: to feel how you feel. Just just don't stay there alone,
• 23:24
  Speaker 2: and it's okay. I mean, you you you were going
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: through something, you experienced something this week that that took
• 23:32
  Speaker 2: you to a place that you know I probably would act.
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: I probably would have reacted the same way if someone
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: come to my page and did something mean about my brother,
• 23:44
  Speaker 2: I probably would have acted the same way. You know,
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: it probably would have took me to a place. And
• 23:48
  Speaker 2: it's okay. You know, it's okay to feel how you feel.
• 23:51
  Speaker 2: Because you loved your son and the fact that somebody
• 23:56
  Speaker 2: you know, felt the way that they felt and wanted
• 23:59
  Speaker 2: to express that on your page, it did something to you.
• 24:01
  Speaker 2: So it's okay to feel how you feel. Know that,
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: and you don't have to apologize for that.
• 24:10
  Speaker 3: It's okay.
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: And that's what these platforms and this space is for
• 24:16
  Speaker 2: for us to be able to release and for us
• 24:19
  Speaker 2: to be able to share those those things so that
• 24:22
  Speaker 2: we don't have to harbor that and carry that by yourself.
• 24:25
  Speaker 2: You don't have to deal with that by yourself. So
• 24:29
  Speaker 2: know that you are okay. If you need to cry, cry,
• 24:32
  Speaker 2: get it out, It's okay. Not the Apostle. I'm sorry, shouldn't.
• 24:43
  Speaker 2: What was you finna say before I bring Apostle on?
• 24:47
  Speaker 5: You know, it's just, you know, you've given us this
• 24:51
  Speaker 5: platform and the other platforms that I'm on and the
• 24:56
  Speaker 5: people that surround me that I'm able to share and
• 24:58
  Speaker 5: able to be myself able to talk about it.
• 25:06
  Speaker 3: You know.
• 25:06
  Speaker 5: I feel better, you know. And one thing I am
• 25:10
  Speaker 5: doing I am becoming unstuck from that place, from getting
• 25:19
  Speaker 5: through it.
• 25:20
  Speaker 6: You know.
• 25:20
  Speaker 5: I'm getting through it.
• 25:22
  Speaker 9: Like I said, I have my moments, but I'm not
• 25:25
  Speaker 9: staying there like I like I normally would stay there.
• 25:29
  Speaker 5: I'm not staying there. I'm getting past it, you know.
• 25:34
  Speaker 5: And I appreciate you for this, for giving me this
• 25:40
  Speaker 5: platform to get through it.
• 25:43
  Speaker 3: Amen Apostle.
• 25:49
  Speaker 4: Amen, Good evening. Once again, my journey of grief was
• 25:57
  Speaker 4: my baby girl. I carried her to term and we
• 26:03
  Speaker 4: were one way from delivery. She had been a very
• 26:08
  Speaker 4: active baby the whole pregnancy. Everything was well. There were
• 26:13
  Speaker 4: actually three other people that were pregnant during the same
• 26:16
  Speaker 4: time that I was pregnant in which I was praying
• 26:19
  Speaker 4: for because they were having complications. I never had a complication,
• 26:23
  Speaker 4: never had any issues during my pregnancy the whole time,
• 26:27
  Speaker 4: And as I was actually praying for them, I remember
• 26:32
  Speaker 4: the Lord showing me a vision of a lady's hand
• 26:38
  Speaker 4: holding a baby girl and the baby was dead. I
• 26:43
  Speaker 4: began to press in and pray even the more for
• 26:48
  Speaker 4: the expectant mothers that I knew were also having girls.
• 26:53
  Speaker 4: I went in one day for a normal checkup. Doctor
• 26:57
  Speaker 4: sent me to the emergency room, stating that the baby's
• 27:00
  Speaker 4: heartbeat was on the lower end of the scale, but
• 27:03
  Speaker 4: everything was still fine as far as the doctor was
• 27:07
  Speaker 4: telling me. The next thing that I knew when the
• 27:11
  Speaker 4: specialists came in, who was the doctor that actually delivered
• 27:14
  Speaker 4: me as a child. He came in to check me out,
• 27:19
  Speaker 4: and the first thing that he said is that this
• 27:22
  Speaker 4: baby is in distress and this mother needs to go
• 27:26
  Speaker 4: to surgery. Now I'm at the hospital all alone. My
• 27:30
  Speaker 4: husband's at work, and here we go. We're headed to surgery.
• 27:37
  Speaker 4: And at the time, they attempted to give me the
• 27:40
  Speaker 4: epidural for the C section, and they could not get
• 27:46
  Speaker 4: the epidural to actually go in, so they ended up
• 27:51
  Speaker 4: having to put me out, And all I could remember
• 27:55
  Speaker 4: is I was asking a question. The mask comes on
• 27:59
  Speaker 4: and I'm out. I wake up and the first thing
• 28:03
  Speaker 4: that the doctor that I saw asked me was do
• 28:06
  Speaker 4: you have a name for your daughter. I gave him
• 28:10
  Speaker 4: her name, which is Kaylee, and he said, I am
• 28:13
  Speaker 4: sorry to inform you, but Kaylee is not gonna make it.
• 28:18
  Speaker 4: And at this time, my husband was there and we're
• 28:21
  Speaker 4: just kind of looking at each other and looking at
• 28:23
  Speaker 4: the doctor as in, what are you saying?
• 28:26
  Speaker 2: What do you mean? Kaylee is not going to make it?
• 28:29
  Speaker 4: And he began to tell us that her lungs and
• 28:33
  Speaker 4: kidneys did not fully developed. At some point during the pregnancy.
• 28:38
  Speaker 4: He said that my bag had started to leak, so
• 28:44
  Speaker 4: the fluid was leaking from the bag and she never
• 28:49
  Speaker 4: fully developed her lungs or her kidneys, which was a
• 28:54
  Speaker 4: disease that they referenced as Potter's disease. And they told us,
• 29:00
  Speaker 4: you know, spend as much time as you want with her,
• 29:03
  Speaker 4: and whenever you're ready, you let us know, we'll take
• 29:07
  Speaker 4: her off the respirator. And so we stayed with her
• 29:11
  Speaker 4: more than six and a half hours, and at that moment,
• 29:16
  Speaker 4: I began to realize that, you know, we were just
• 29:21
  Speaker 4: prolonging the inevitable. So we made the decision to have
• 29:26
  Speaker 4: her removed from the respirator. We called at that time,
• 29:30
  Speaker 4: we call our pastor in to bless her to come
• 29:34
  Speaker 4: up to pray with us. And as I was laying
• 29:38
  Speaker 4: there holding her as she began to take her last breaths,
• 29:42
  Speaker 4: when I looked down, I saw the vision all over again.
• 29:46
  Speaker 4: So the babies that I were praying that I was
• 29:50
  Speaker 4: praying for, they are twenty one years old today, which
• 29:53
  Speaker 4: our daughter Kaylee, would have been twenty one years old
• 29:56
  Speaker 4: on May the twenty seventh, And just to see this
• 30:02
  Speaker 4: and to know this, you know, even in the hospital,
• 30:05
  Speaker 4: I was very encouraging to everyone that came into my room.
• 30:10
  Speaker 4: I was encouraging them to the point to where the
• 30:13
  Speaker 4: doctors wanted to know if I was okay. Mentally, they
• 30:17
  Speaker 4: begin to ask my husband, you know, is she okay?
• 30:21
  Speaker 4: Is her pain tolerance really this well. And the reason
• 30:25
  Speaker 4: they were asking is because they put me on the
• 30:27
  Speaker 4: wrong side of the hospital. They put me on the
• 30:30
  Speaker 4: hospital with all the live babies, and I should have
• 30:33
  Speaker 4: been on the other side. So in the midst of
• 30:36
  Speaker 4: me being around all these babies that were alive and crying,
• 30:40
  Speaker 4: I never heard a baby cry, and so that never
• 30:44
  Speaker 4: really affected me. I was not affected until the day
• 30:48
  Speaker 4: that we prepared to go to the funeral home to
• 30:51
  Speaker 4: make arrangements for her service, and I began to cry
• 30:57
  Speaker 4: as I was stepping out of the shower. I remember
• 31:00
  Speaker 4: asking God why, and I told God he made me
• 31:03
  Speaker 4: a promise. But even in that God had to remind
• 31:07
  Speaker 4: me that I asked him for something prior to me
• 31:12
  Speaker 4: ever conceiving my daughter, and that was for my son
• 31:17
  Speaker 4: to be here and for me to live to be
• 31:21
  Speaker 4: able to see my son grow up, have a family,
• 31:25
  Speaker 4: have children, have grandchildren.
• 31:27
  Speaker 2: And he reminded me of that because I.
• 31:32
  Speaker 4: Was in a place where I was only five years
• 31:35
  Speaker 4: old when my mother passed away, and I did not
• 31:39
  Speaker 4: want the things that I had to experience to be
• 31:41
  Speaker 4: my son's life, and so I asked God that, and
• 31:45
  Speaker 4: God reminded me that morning when I stepped out of
• 31:47
  Speaker 4: the shower. He said, if I had have died, my
• 31:52
  Speaker 4: family would not have been able to handle it, speaking
• 31:55
  Speaker 4: of my husband and my son. And then he reminded
• 31:58
  Speaker 4: me of the thing that I asked him. My son
• 32:04
  Speaker 4: was turning five years old that year, in just a
• 32:07
  Speaker 4: couple of months before my daughter passed away.
• 32:10
  Speaker 2: And so when you're faced with these types of things,
• 32:15
  Speaker 2: you have to really ask God.
• 32:16
  Speaker 4: You know, God, I ask you for this, and you
• 32:21
  Speaker 4: honored your word, and I ask you for a daughter,
• 32:26
  Speaker 4: and he still honored his word. Even though she did
• 32:30
  Speaker 4: not live, her legacy lives on because she touched so
• 32:36
  Speaker 4: many lives within the six and a half hours that
• 32:39
  Speaker 4: she did live. Her nick Nurse was getting ready to
• 32:42
  Speaker 4: quit because she wanted to know why, you know, God
• 32:47
  Speaker 4: was allowing all these babies to come into the world
• 32:49
  Speaker 4: and just they were dying. And because of my encouragement,
• 32:56
  Speaker 4: she came into my room. She was not a sign
• 32:58
  Speaker 4: to me, she was a signed to my baby. And
• 33:00
  Speaker 4: after my baby passed away, she really had nothing else
• 33:04
  Speaker 4: to really do with me. But every day that I
• 33:08
  Speaker 4: was there, she was there, and she would come and
• 33:10
  Speaker 4: sit next to my bed and she would begin to
• 33:13
  Speaker 4: talk to me. And the thing that stoock out to
• 33:16
  Speaker 4: me the most during this time was the fact that
• 33:18
  Speaker 4: she told me that my faith had really helped her
• 33:21
  Speaker 4: because she was getting ready to quit. So even in
• 33:26
  Speaker 4: that and the loss and the tragedy and everything that
• 33:31
  Speaker 4: I went through in the experience with my daughter, her
• 33:35
  Speaker 4: life was still being a blessing. But the grief journey
• 33:40
  Speaker 4: was so so real for us because I was in
• 33:44
  Speaker 4: a place of I have to get rid of all
• 33:50
  Speaker 4: of the things that remind me of a baby, because
• 33:53
  Speaker 4: I left full, but I came back empty. And so
• 33:58
  Speaker 4: at this point, you know, you have all these baby
• 34:00
  Speaker 4: shower presents and gifts and all of these things, and
• 34:04
  Speaker 4: I began to take them out of our closet, not
• 34:09
  Speaker 4: realizing or thinking about the fact that my husband was
• 34:12
  Speaker 4: grieving also, and his grief process was totally different from mine.
• 34:17
  Speaker 4: Mine was, Okay, let's move all of her things out
• 34:21
  Speaker 4: of here, Let's bless somebody else with these things. And
• 34:24
  Speaker 4: his grief process was, no, don't get rid of my
• 34:28
  Speaker 4: baby's sings. I want them to stay here. So, you know,
• 34:31
  Speaker 4: you have to think about the process and the walk
• 34:34
  Speaker 4: and the journey that we all go through. It's different
• 34:38
  Speaker 4: what my grief journey looks like may not look like
• 34:41
  Speaker 4: another mother who lost her child's grief journey. So we
• 34:45
  Speaker 4: have to be patient, we have to be loving, we
• 34:48
  Speaker 4: have to have compassion for individuals that's grieving and realize
• 34:52
  Speaker 4: that there is no expiration date that is placed on grief.
• 34:59
  Speaker 4: It's twenty one years for me, and there are days
• 35:02
  Speaker 4: that I still think of her. There are days that
• 35:05
  Speaker 4: I'm still, you know, talking to God about the situation.
• 35:09
  Speaker 4: There are still days that we remember her, we talk
• 35:12
  Speaker 4: about her, we do things. And Janette, I want to
• 35:15
  Speaker 4: encourage you because for the first couple of years of
• 35:20
  Speaker 4: my daughter's life, of Kaylee's life, we would go to
• 35:23
  Speaker 4: the cemetery and have cake and it was really initiated
• 35:29
  Speaker 4: by her nick nurse, but we kept it up. We
• 35:31
  Speaker 4: went to the cemetery and we would celebrate her birthday. So, however,
• 35:37
  Speaker 4: you have to get through the process. Just get through
• 35:40
  Speaker 4: the process. It's not for an explanation to anybody. How
• 35:45
  Speaker 4: you grieve. You owe nobody any explanation. Just keep leaning,
• 35:51
  Speaker 4: trusting and depending on God and He'll bring you through.
• 35:55
  Speaker 4: He will make the load lighter. You'll never forget, but
• 36:00
  Speaker 4: you'll be able to move forward without shedding so many tears.
• 36:07
  Speaker 4: You'll be able to move forward without your heart hurting
• 36:10
  Speaker 4: as it's hurting. Now. He'll make it lighter if you
• 36:14
  Speaker 4: just cast your cares on him. Don't worry about anyone
• 36:18
  Speaker 4: else because they if they have never walked in your shoes,
• 36:21
  Speaker 4: they don't know what your journey is like.
• 36:29
  Speaker 3: Amen. Amen, Amen, some great advice.
• 36:32
  Speaker 2: And each one of their stories and if you guys
• 36:35
  Speaker 2: have heard, each one of their stories is different. Each
• 36:37
  Speaker 2: way that they have dealt with their process has been different.
• 36:41
  Speaker 2: For me, I think one of the most. I can
• 36:47
  Speaker 2: say that my mom was one of the first major
• 36:51
  Speaker 2: losses that I had, But the grief process was different
• 36:55
  Speaker 2: because I didn't I didn't grieve. I thought I grieved,
• 36:59
  Speaker 2: but I didn't grieve. I didn't properly grieve because I
• 37:03
  Speaker 2: cared it for years, not knowing that I was carrying
• 37:05
  Speaker 2: it and displayed it in different ways. But I think
• 37:11
  Speaker 2: getting through that process for me when I first lost
• 37:15
  Speaker 2: my mom, it was like I had to be that
• 37:19
  Speaker 2: strong one. Everybody else was feeling stuff, everybody else was crying,
• 37:24
  Speaker 2: everybody else was doing something.
• 37:25
  Speaker 3: And I was the youngest.
• 37:27
  Speaker 2: I was just twelve days turning sixteen, and everybody was
• 37:33
  Speaker 2: just having their moments and I was the strong one.
• 37:37
  Speaker 2: But I tell you, when I went through something else
• 37:41
  Speaker 2: and had to deal with this, it was a process.
• 37:46
  Speaker 2: I realized that I never properly grieved my mom. So
• 37:50
  Speaker 2: going through that process, I learned to write down things,
• 37:55
  Speaker 2: and being an author now has allowed me the opportunity
• 37:58
  Speaker 2: to express express those things. I may not outwardly express
• 38:03
  Speaker 2: it all the time, but I get it down on paper,
• 38:05
  Speaker 2: I get it out. And I always like to honor
• 38:08
  Speaker 2: those that I've lost that has transitioned on. I like
• 38:14
  Speaker 2: to keep their memories alive. So every opportunity that I
• 38:17
  Speaker 2: get to honor them, that that's what I do. And
• 38:21
  Speaker 2: that's one of the ways that I have learned to
• 38:24
  Speaker 2: deal with this process because I understand that this is
• 38:28
  Speaker 2: a part of our life's journey. You know, this is
• 38:31
  Speaker 2: this is not our eternal resting place, and I know that.
• 38:35
  Speaker 2: You know, it's something that happens, and you know, just
• 38:38
  Speaker 2: learning how to get through. I guess it's it's what
• 38:42
  Speaker 2: I do is try to keep going. So that is
• 38:46
  Speaker 2: that that is how I deal. And I want to
• 38:51
  Speaker 2: bring up Trida now I think she's back. I want
• 38:55
  Speaker 2: to bring her up and allow her to share a
• 38:59
  Speaker 2: little bit tell us about what her Greek process has
• 39:02
  Speaker 2: been like. Can y'all hear me? Yes, okay, y'all.
• 39:08
  Speaker 7: I apologize for what's going on with my technical stuff.
• 39:12
  Speaker 4: I have had two computers and two phones and nothing
• 39:16
  Speaker 4: has worked the way that it was supposed to. Everything's
• 39:19
  Speaker 4: charged and everything. But anyway, this process for me, especially
• 39:25
  Speaker 4: the month of June, is a month of significant highs
• 39:30
  Speaker 4: and lows. And I'll start by saying, for the month
• 39:37
  Speaker 4: of June, I had two people who are very very
• 39:41
  Speaker 4: close to me to pass away, and that was my
• 39:43
  Speaker 4: mom being one of those people, and my little cousin
• 39:47
  Speaker 4: who was basically like my first child. And then with
• 39:51
  Speaker 4: it being Father's Day in this month as well, it's
• 39:55
  Speaker 4: been very very difficult this month alone and just processing
• 40:02
  Speaker 4: their passing. Because my cousin was thirty I want to say,
• 40:08
  Speaker 4: he was thirty six, well about yeah, he had just
• 40:10
  Speaker 4: turned thirty six, and on June twenty sixth he passed
• 40:14
  Speaker 4: away due to a sudden heart attack and that was hard.
• 40:20
  Speaker 7: And then that was in twenty twenty two, twenty twenty three,
• 40:24
  Speaker 7: my mom.
• 40:25
  Speaker 4: Passed June fifteenth, so Father's Day fell on the day
• 40:30
  Speaker 4: of my mom's passing, so it was a bittersweet day.
• 40:35
  Speaker 4: And this journey for me has been, I want to say,
• 40:41
  Speaker 4: very very healing in the sense of the writing of
• 40:46
  Speaker 4: the book that I did in her memory and healing
• 40:51
  Speaker 4: our relationship. And the title of the book is called
• 40:54
  Speaker 4: from Fracture to Fulfilled Healing my healing journey with my mom,
• 41:01
  Speaker 4: and the final two chapters of that book were the
• 41:05
  Speaker 4: toughest ones for me to write, simply because it talks
• 41:09
  Speaker 4: about when time ran out as one of the titles,
• 41:12
  Speaker 4: and then healing my mother womb and.
• 41:16
  Speaker 5: Having to.
• 41:19
  Speaker 7: In a sent to relive that day of her passing.
• 41:23
  Speaker 4: I realized then when I was writing that I didn't
• 41:27
  Speaker 4: have time to grieve her. I literally just started grieving
• 41:31
  Speaker 4: her loss this year, and it's been tough, to say
• 41:39
  Speaker 4: the least, because I realized the day that she passed,
• 41:43
  Speaker 4: I didn't have time to deal with my emotions. I
• 41:46
  Speaker 4: had to make the arrangements with the funeral home to
• 41:52
  Speaker 4: come and get her body and console everyone else that
• 41:57
  Speaker 4: was there in the phone call that were coming in,
• 42:01
  Speaker 4: so it wasn't time for me to process any of that,
• 42:07
  Speaker 4: and even making the arrangements for her service. Even though
• 42:12
  Speaker 4: I had prepared at the funeral home to come, when
• 42:17
  Speaker 4: that time came, it was still I was the one
• 42:21
  Speaker 4: who was there by myself doing all of that, and
• 42:26
  Speaker 4: it was not easy.
• 42:28
  Speaker 7: It was not what I had expected.
• 42:31
  Speaker 4: But in the sense of I knew the prayer that
• 42:36
  Speaker 4: I prayed when I was a little girl, that I
• 42:38
  Speaker 4: always wanted to make sure that I was with my
• 42:41
  Speaker 4: mom when she took that final breath.
• 42:51
  Speaker 7: I'm sorry, and God.
• 42:54
  Speaker 1: Allowed that to be. So I was there when she
• 42:58
  Speaker 1: took that final breath, and I can honestly say that.
• 43:08
  Speaker 4: Before the nurses came in to give Mom her her
• 43:13
  Speaker 4: daily bath and to change her bed, linen and everything, I.
• 43:18
  Speaker 7: Was standing beside her bend and I was letting her
• 43:20
  Speaker 7: know that she was forgiven for what she thought she had.
• 43:35
  Speaker 4: Made mistakes with us, and that it was okay for
• 43:40
  Speaker 4: her to go, that she didn't have to fight on
• 43:44
  Speaker 4: this side any longer.
• 43:46
  Speaker 7: She had lived a life of of battle.
• 43:52
  Speaker 4: I'm saying that way. Her battle with drugs and alcohol
• 43:58
  Speaker 4: was a daily struggle. She was broken as a child
• 44:06
  Speaker 4: by family who consistently told her as a little girl
• 44:10
  Speaker 4: that her mother didn't want her. So she grew up
• 44:15
  Speaker 4: trying to figure out where she belonged, because anytime she
• 44:20
  Speaker 4: would try to express herself or her feelings, it was
• 44:23
  Speaker 4: a constant thing of, well, you know, your mama didn't
• 44:26
  Speaker 4: want you.
• 44:27
  Speaker 7: And if you break a child.
• 44:31
  Speaker 4: Early, they grow up to be broken adults and they
• 44:35
  Speaker 4: don't necessarily know how to maneuver through life. And I
• 44:39
  Speaker 4: think that my mom felt like she was doing the
• 44:43
  Speaker 4: best thing with leaving us with family. Now, my younger
• 44:49
  Speaker 4: two siblings, they ended up in foster care, but my
• 44:52
  Speaker 4: mom did fight for a long time to try to
• 44:57
  Speaker 4: keep them. But when you have vindictive family members who
• 45:04
  Speaker 4: don't want to see you doing good, she felt like
• 45:08
  Speaker 4: she had lost. And so when she felt like she had.
• 45:10
  Speaker 7: Lost, she literally gave up on.
• 45:16
  Speaker 5: Life in.
• 45:18
  Speaker 4: A way. But when I had my children, especially my
• 45:23
  Speaker 4: youngest son Nathan, my mom was there pretty much the
• 45:28
  Speaker 4: entire pregnancy from when they put me on bed rest,
• 45:33
  Speaker 4: and so my children were able to see something in
• 45:36
  Speaker 4: my mother that I did not get to see as
• 45:38
  Speaker 4: a child.
• 45:39
  Speaker 2: Growing up.
• 45:39
  Speaker 4: I saw her battle of addiction, but I got to
• 45:43
  Speaker 4: see her as the mother that she had always had
• 45:49
  Speaker 4: the desire to be.
• 45:50
  Speaker 7: And my children didn't understand the.
• 45:57
  Speaker 4: Distance that I had with my mom when and she
• 46:00
  Speaker 4: first started coming around, but over time they got to understand.
• 46:05
  Speaker 7: But anytime my mother needed me, I was always there.
• 46:09
  Speaker 7: And so.
• 46:11
  Speaker 4: Writing this book and in the space that I'm in
• 46:15
  Speaker 4: right now, I know that God, for one answered prayers
• 46:20
  Speaker 4: because he made it so I was with her when
• 46:25
  Speaker 4: she took that final breath. But anytime she needed me,
• 46:29
  Speaker 4: I was always there. And my family doesn't quite understand
• 46:35
  Speaker 4: that when everyone else was around, my mom would show
• 46:42
  Speaker 4: a level of strength that.
• 46:45
  Speaker 7: I understand now.
• 46:46
  Speaker 8: Where I get it from is she never wanted anybody
• 46:50
  Speaker 8: to see the weakness within her, So she was a
• 46:53
  Speaker 8: little girl when it was just her.
• 46:55
  Speaker 2: And I and.
• 46:57
  Speaker 7: That was hard to see, and that was hard to
• 47:01
  Speaker 7: carry because.
• 47:04
  Speaker 4: I had to be strong in those moments for her,
• 47:07
  Speaker 4: not understanding that I didn't even have the strength to
• 47:13
  Speaker 4: be in those moments. But I understand now that there
• 47:16
  Speaker 4: was no one else who could have been in that
• 47:19
  Speaker 4: space in that time to handle her passing like me.
• 47:24
  Speaker 4: And I'm grateful. I am at peace with her passing
• 47:31
  Speaker 4: because I know that she's on the other side. She's better,
• 47:36
  Speaker 4: she's not fighting a daily battle over here, she's not
• 47:41
  Speaker 4: in pain, and she's at peace and when she took
• 47:46
  Speaker 4: that final breath, it was literally a final breath. It
• 47:50
  Speaker 4: wasn't a death rattle, it wasn't any of that. It
• 47:54
  Speaker 4: was basically like she was tired and that was it.
• 47:58
  Speaker 4: But I knew once I told I told her that
• 48:00
  Speaker 4: she was forgiven, that that was going to be it.
• 48:05
  Speaker 3: And I have.
• 48:09
  Speaker 4: I had set a timer that night on June the
• 48:12
  Speaker 4: fourteenth to wake up every hour, just in case I
• 48:15
  Speaker 4: had fallen asleep, to just go by her bedside and
• 48:20
  Speaker 4: check on her, and to see if she needed water,
• 48:22
  Speaker 4: because my mom loved water, and.
• 48:27
  Speaker 7: I would get up and do that.
• 48:28
  Speaker 4: And I set the alarm to get up every hour.
• 48:32
  Speaker 4: The final alarm on my clock that I have is
• 48:36
  Speaker 4: three forty five am, June the fifteenth. I still have
• 48:41
  Speaker 4: that save in my phone. Even though my mom did
• 48:45
  Speaker 4: not take that final breath until twelve oh five on
• 48:49
  Speaker 4: June the fifteenth, that Thursday, I already knew that that
• 48:55
  Speaker 4: was going to be her final day. And I could
• 48:58
  Speaker 4: not leave the room because I knew the instant I did,
• 49:04
  Speaker 4: I would not be there. But grief isn't a is
• 49:11
  Speaker 4: a moment by moment adjustment. It is not something that
• 49:15
  Speaker 4: time heals all wounds. Because time doesn't heal the wound.
• 49:19
  Speaker 4: We just learned to adjust with each and every moment
• 49:23
  Speaker 4: that comes. And it could be a moment of a sound,
• 49:29
  Speaker 4: a scent, a song, or something that brings either a
• 49:36
  Speaker 4: memory of goodness a memory of sadness. It's been beautiful
• 49:43
  Speaker 4: these last couple of weeks with my granddaughter because you
• 49:49
  Speaker 4: would think she was so young when my mom passed,
• 49:53
  Speaker 4: barely three months old, but she remembers my mother and
• 50:00
  Speaker 4: to I know my mom somewhere around here. Because you know,
• 50:07
  Speaker 4: kids are very innocent. They see what we don't see,
• 50:10
  Speaker 4: they hear what we don't hear. And my mom they
• 50:16
  Speaker 4: gave her a little bear, a hospice bear, and my
• 50:23
  Speaker 4: granddaughter looks at that bear and she'll say, that's Granny's bear.
• 50:27
  Speaker 4: That's what my kids called my mom was Granny. And
• 50:30
  Speaker 4: she's like, that's Granny's bear. T T, that's Granny's bear.
• 50:33
  Speaker 4: And I'm like, yes, ma'am, that is granny's bear. She's like,
• 50:36
  Speaker 4: we don't play with that bear. No, we leave that
• 50:40
  Speaker 4: one over there. But she plays with the brown bear.
• 50:43
  Speaker 4: And so she if I have the blanket that has
• 50:46
  Speaker 4: my mom's face on it, she'll rub that rub my
• 50:50
  Speaker 4: mom's face, so they built a bond that is unbreakable.
• 50:56
  Speaker 4: I hope that she continues to remember her, but I
• 50:59
  Speaker 4: do her pictures and show her videos because my mom
• 51:04
  Speaker 4: made sure that she was gonna hold that baby. And
• 51:11
  Speaker 4: my mom could barely hold herself up. But when that
• 51:14
  Speaker 4: baby came in that room, I had to put that
• 51:16
  Speaker 4: baby in that fit in her arms because that was
• 51:20
  Speaker 4: her baby and that was nothing that I could say
• 51:22
  Speaker 4: are due to change that, But the mission that don't
• 51:28
  Speaker 4: allow anybody to tell you when and how you can
• 51:31
  Speaker 4: breathe because you responded the way that you were supposed
• 51:36
  Speaker 4: to in the moment that showed up. People don't understand
• 51:43
  Speaker 4: until they have to experience the same thing that they mocked.
• 51:48
  Speaker 4: And when you mock someone, God will make sure that
• 51:52
  Speaker 4: you receive what it is necessary for you to receive,
• 51:55
  Speaker 4: so that you understand that you two can can feel
• 52:01
  Speaker 4: my pain. You know you two can go through what
• 52:05
  Speaker 4: I'm going through. And we don't wish this on anybody.
• 52:08
  Speaker 4: But the thing that I don't think we talk about
• 52:11
  Speaker 4: enough is that death is part of the life cycle.
• 52:16
  Speaker 7: It is part of what we're going through.
• 52:18
  Speaker 4: We have a date of birth, we necessarily would not
• 52:22
  Speaker 4: know what our date of birth is had someone not
• 52:25
  Speaker 4: been there for that. And sometimes we do pass away
• 52:30
  Speaker 4: alone and no one knows what day we actually passed
• 52:34
  Speaker 4: if there's no one there. And you have people who
• 52:37
  Speaker 4: come in this world and say crazy things like I
• 52:41
  Speaker 4: was born alone and I'm gonna dialogue. Well, hopefully you
• 52:44
  Speaker 4: were not born alone, because you were not born alone.
• 52:47
  Speaker 4: You were born surrounded by love, and when you leave
• 52:50
  Speaker 4: this earth, you want to be surrounded by love as well.
• 52:53
  Speaker 4: So what we do in the time that we have
• 52:57
  Speaker 4: from that date of birth to the date that God
• 52:59
  Speaker 4: decides to call us home is the time that we
• 53:02
  Speaker 4: have to be mindful and know that what God has
• 53:07
  Speaker 4: for us and the people that we're connected to are
• 53:11
  Speaker 4: meant to be meant to retire to him honestly, because
• 53:17
  Speaker 4: our time here is only temporary, and we must love
• 53:23
  Speaker 4: one another and show compassion because we all are going
• 53:28
  Speaker 4: to experience the loss of a loved one, the loss
• 53:31
  Speaker 4: of a friend, a loss of so many things, but
• 53:36
  Speaker 4: the loss of a loved one, the loss of a child,
• 53:38
  Speaker 4: the loss of a parent and father figures in any capacity,
• 53:43
  Speaker 4: those are things that are hard. But I've been okay
• 53:48
  Speaker 4: in the sense of embracing that life does come to
• 53:53
  Speaker 4: an end, and I didn't think I would ever be
• 53:56
  Speaker 4: in the space to stay that because I was so
• 54:00
  Speaker 4: focused on not ever having to deal with death in
• 54:07
  Speaker 4: that sense, you know, because it wasn't a parent, it
• 54:13
  Speaker 4: wasn't a child, it wasn't that close to me. It
• 54:16
  Speaker 4: was a distant relative, my auntie, my uncle, but it
• 54:21
  Speaker 4: wasn't a direct tie. So I didn't think about death
• 54:25
  Speaker 4: in that sense. But now I think about death in
• 54:28
  Speaker 4: the sense of I've completed my job while I was here,
• 54:34
  Speaker 4: and God is now ready for me to come home.
• 54:37
  Speaker 4: So I want to do everything that I can while
• 54:40
  Speaker 4: I'm still here, while I still have the breath that
• 54:42
  Speaker 4: He allows, to make sure that I'm doing what He's
• 54:46
  Speaker 4: called me to do, which is why I always.
• 54:49
  Speaker 7: Say, stay out of Guy's business. The only thing he
• 54:52
  Speaker 7: wants us to do is be obedient to his instructions.
• 54:56
  Speaker 4: And I am firmed on believing that because as long
• 55:00
  Speaker 4: as I stay obedient to him, everything will fall into place.
• 55:05
  Speaker 4: And to throw away the distractions of the world, because
• 55:08
  Speaker 4: the world right now is so messed up and there's
• 55:11
  Speaker 4: so much evil going on. But I am clinging to
• 55:15
  Speaker 4: God because God has brought me this far, and without him,
• 55:19
  Speaker 4: I know I would not have survived because man had
• 55:22
  Speaker 4: counted me out a long time ago.
• 55:25
  Speaker 7: But God still carries.
• 55:32
  Speaker 3: Amen.
• 55:32
  Speaker 2: Amen, Amen, Amen. Anybody want to chime in now, don't
• 55:52
  Speaker 2: tell me, don't nobody got anything to say.
• 55:55
  Speaker 1: I'm oh, I just thank you.
• 55:59
  Speaker 6: I just want to say thank you to everyone for
• 56:01
  Speaker 6: just sharing your story because I know that sometimes and
• 56:04
  Speaker 6: we're going through so much and a lot of times
• 56:06
  Speaker 6: we don't have a safe place to share it. You know,
• 56:08
  Speaker 6: as you stated, Shannette, I'm so sorry that that happened
• 56:11
  Speaker 6: where family member that should have been supportive wasn't supportive.
• 56:15
  Speaker 6: And how a lot of times people tell us, you know,
• 56:16
  Speaker 6: I've heard people say, oh, aren't you done grieving yet?
• 56:19
  Speaker 6: Or you know, why are you still grieving? And they
• 56:22
  Speaker 6: a lot of people just don't understand. So I just
• 56:24
  Speaker 6: I am thankful for everyone here for just sharing your
• 56:26
  Speaker 6: stories and sharing the things that hurt, and for just
• 56:30
  Speaker 6: being a reminder that you know, we're not alone. A
• 56:32
  Speaker 6: lot of times we're grieving, we just feel isolated, like
• 56:35
  Speaker 6: no one gets it. I know, for me, it's felt
• 56:37
  Speaker 6: like the world stops for me and everybody else is
• 56:40
  Speaker 6: still getting married, they're having babies, they're still living, they're
• 56:43
  Speaker 6: still doing things, and I'm like, well, why why didn't
• 56:45
  Speaker 6: their world stop too? You know, it's so big for us,
• 56:48
  Speaker 6: and it's like a lot of people don't get it.
• 56:49
  Speaker 6: So I just Trivita, thank you for just sharing your
• 56:52
  Speaker 6: story about your mom and those those sweet last moments
• 56:56
  Speaker 6: that you had with her, and the memories, and that
• 56:58
  Speaker 6: you're able to just get a little bit of healing
• 57:01
  Speaker 6: and figure out the why of things that happened when
• 57:04
  Speaker 6: you were a child and as you got older, and
• 57:05
  Speaker 6: for just sharing all of that, I'm like, it's helped
• 57:08
  Speaker 6: me heal and better understand things. I know, when my
• 57:10
  Speaker 6: dad passed away, it was sudden. We weren't close and
• 57:13
  Speaker 6: very estranged, and there's still so many questions that I
• 57:16
  Speaker 6: have and it's like I'm won't ever get answers and
• 57:20
  Speaker 6: it still hurts, but in all of it really saying, Okay,
• 57:23
  Speaker 6: maybe there was something more. Maybe he did the best
• 57:25
  Speaker 6: that he could with what he had. So just thank
• 57:27
  Speaker 6: you for sharing.
• 57:30
  Speaker 3: Amen, anyone else one to chime in.
• 57:36
  Speaker 5: You know, she was my cousin's my first cousin's wife,
• 57:44
  Speaker 5: and she's on she was making content and she used
• 57:52
  Speaker 5: my grief to go on various platforms to make contents
• 57:59
  Speaker 5: about it, you know, on Facebook, TikTok, and you know
• 58:03
  Speaker 5: she's posting and laughing about it and stuff, you know,
• 58:06
  Speaker 5: and I'm like, who who does that? Who takes somebody
• 58:11
  Speaker 5: pain and make content about it?
• 58:17
  Speaker 6: And then.
• 58:20
  Speaker 5: These platforms don't don't block her pages, but they block
• 58:25
  Speaker 5: other people pages for not.
• 58:30
  Speaker 2: Others.
• 58:30
  Speaker 5: For many that's talking maniful things. But as long as
• 58:36
  Speaker 5: you're tearing down people, they they let that stay up.
• 58:44
  Speaker 5: But one stuff is being that's being talked about that
• 58:48
  Speaker 5: the community and stuff need to be informed about. The
• 58:53
  Speaker 5: snatched that down.
• 58:54
  Speaker 2: In a minute.
• 58:55
  Speaker 4: You know.
• 58:56
  Speaker 5: So she she's no blood to me, but you know
• 58:59
  Speaker 5: one I mean, I can like I told her, you
• 59:04
  Speaker 5: don't want to experience this, you don't want to walk
• 59:09
  Speaker 5: on this side. And you know I could have been
• 59:13
  Speaker 5: I could have took some shots at her because she
• 59:16
  Speaker 5: recently had lost she lost her brother and then a
• 59:21
  Speaker 5: couple of hours later her dad, once her dad found
• 59:25
  Speaker 5: thought that her brother died, her father died. So you know,
• 59:32
  Speaker 5: I could have took it. I could have bamn, I
• 59:35
  Speaker 5: could have went in on that, but I didn't that
• 59:39
  Speaker 5: because that's not the type of person I am, you know,
• 59:44
  Speaker 5: But I got through it because one thing I know,
• 59:48
  Speaker 5: I know who my son was as a person. My son,
• 59:55
  Speaker 5: I mean he that boy was a character. And that's
• 59:58
  Speaker 5: what gets me through on these days. You know, I
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 5: look at his pictures. I'm you know, at first I
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 5: would look at his pictures and I would cry. But
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 5: now when my sister send me. I posted his kindergarten
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 5: picture the other day, and just to look at that
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 5: picture and the memories that.
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 4: It brung back.
• 1:00:25
  Speaker 5: Like man, I used to chase this boy with that
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 5: little funny little smirk. When he used to give me
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 5: that little smirk. I know, my tennis shoes better be
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 5: tied up because he was supposed to do something. And
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 5: you know, just the memories that's coming back.
• 1:00:42
  Speaker 1: I know.
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 3: I mean, I have a smile. So I have a
• 1:00:48
  Speaker 3: drawer and what I.
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 5: Do every time a happy memory come, I write down
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 5: that memory and I put that memory in that drawer.
• 1:00:57
  Speaker 5: So when I'm having moments, I can go to that
• 1:01:00
  Speaker 5: jar and I can pull that memory and I can
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 5: read it.
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 3: I have.
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 5: My mother gave me his little handprints when he was
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 5: in preschool. They took the paint and put his head
• 1:01:15
  Speaker 5: inside of the red paint. So I have his little
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 5: handprint on my wall, so I can see my working
• 1:01:25
  Speaker 5: my my working hands. So you know, I know he's
• 1:01:31
  Speaker 5: around me. You know, every little thing that he did,
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 5: it's around me. And it's good memories. And I love
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 5: the memories.
• 1:01:43
  Speaker 2: Even his dog.
• 1:01:44
  Speaker 5: Oh Lord, his dog is a whole different Angela. Angela
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 5: will tell.
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 2: You, yes, yes, that dog is human. He had like
• 1:01:54
  Speaker 2: a little human.
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 9: But you know, I mean, I'm starting to, I mean
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 9: to just smile, even sitting out at his grave.
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 5: And you know, I don't go to his grave and
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 5: just constantly sit. I can count on my hand how
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 5: many times I've been out there because.
• 1:02:16
  Speaker 2: I don't want to.
• 1:02:18
  Speaker 5: I don't want to just keep going out there just
• 1:02:21
  Speaker 5: sitting because I know he's not there. I just laid
• 1:02:24
  Speaker 5: his body to rest. That's all I did. I know
• 1:02:29
  Speaker 5: he I know his soul, his spirit is still alive.
• 1:02:33
  Speaker 5: That's I just laid that body, returned that body back
• 1:02:36
  Speaker 5: to the ground where it came from. So I go
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 5: out there just just to sit and and it brings
• 1:02:49
  Speaker 5: me peace. It brings me peace. And I went out there.
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 5: I just go out there like probably like five times
• 1:03:01
  Speaker 5: since he'd been out there probably ten times. I've been
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 5: out there, and I stay out there for probably about
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 5: an hour or two and then I'll leave, you know,
• 1:03:13
  Speaker 5: But I'm getting through each day. I'm living because he lived,
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 5: and I'm gonna live.
• 1:03:22
  Speaker 3: Amen.
• 1:03:24
  Speaker 2: Well, she right about that doll because I visited I
• 1:03:29
  Speaker 2: visited Channette last year and I woke up and the
• 1:03:34
  Speaker 2: dog was standing up in the window like a person,
• 1:03:36
  Speaker 2: y'all I'm talking about. He had his face, he had
• 1:03:39
  Speaker 2: his face pressed in the window and like he was
• 1:03:42
  Speaker 2: just looking. So I got up and I walked through
• 1:03:45
  Speaker 2: the house, and you know how you walked through the
• 1:03:46
  Speaker 2: you walking through the house. So I just happened to
• 1:03:49
  Speaker 2: look over because she had a room that has a
• 1:03:51
  Speaker 2: double sliding door, and I just happened to look out
• 1:03:54
  Speaker 2: the door and here he was following me along the
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 2: side of the house. Look at that dog, I said,
• 1:04:01
  Speaker 2: I know, I said, Snett. I say, Kyle, want to
• 1:04:04
  Speaker 2: know who that is in that bed? Cause that doll
• 1:04:09
  Speaker 2: act just I'm telling you, the dog act like a human.
• 1:04:11
  Speaker 2: And every day he would stand up. Every day he
• 1:04:14
  Speaker 2: would come stand up in that window and he would
• 1:04:16
  Speaker 2: be just looking. And then if I would say something,
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 2: to him, He'll he'll get down and he'll go on
• 1:04:22
  Speaker 2: about his business. If I say, hey, here, he'll get
• 1:04:25
  Speaker 2: down and go on about his business. But yeah, that
• 1:04:29
  Speaker 2: dog is he definitely carries Kyle's spirit.
• 1:04:34
  Speaker 5: Man, he'd be back there building. I don't know what
• 1:04:37
  Speaker 5: he back there dragging them poles back their fault, but yes,
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 5: I seen him.
• 1:04:44
  Speaker 2: And I seen him do that. He dragged it was.
• 1:04:46
  Speaker 2: It was some poles stacked up against the wall on
• 1:04:49
  Speaker 2: one side, and I looked out there. He had moved
• 1:04:53
  Speaker 2: them poles all the way from this side of the
• 1:04:56
  Speaker 2: fence all the way down to the other side, and
• 1:04:58
  Speaker 2: I'm like, how did that dog do that? I was sorry,
• 1:05:02
  Speaker 2: how did that y'all do that? I ain't heard nothing.
• 1:05:05
  Speaker 2: I'm like, he moved all of the polls and they
• 1:05:07
  Speaker 2: were not no short polls.
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 8: Like, how did that y'all do that?
• 1:05:11
  Speaker 3: But he did it.
• 1:05:13
  Speaker 2: But yeah, I I have enjoyed just sitting and listening
• 1:05:17
  Speaker 2: to you guys and listening to how you dealt with
• 1:05:23
  Speaker 2: your process because everybody's it's gonna be different, but us
• 1:05:27
  Speaker 2: being able to share and us being able to talk
• 1:05:30
  Speaker 2: about it, talking and letting it out is also healing.
• 1:05:35
  Speaker 3: So I I thank you.
• 1:05:37
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna go around because I want everybody. There may
• 1:05:40
  Speaker 2: be somebody out there that is going through something. They
• 1:05:44
  Speaker 2: may be going through the loss of someone or something,
• 1:05:49
  Speaker 2: or opportunity or you know, grief coming different ways. However,
• 1:05:53
  Speaker 2: they may be grieving, they may want to reach out
• 1:05:55
  Speaker 2: to you, guys that may want to connect to you,
• 1:05:57
  Speaker 2: that may wanna follow your platforms. So I'm gonna start
• 1:06:00
  Speaker 2: with doctor Kimberly and share with us how we can
• 1:06:05
  Speaker 2: connect with you, how we can follow support the things
• 1:06:08
  Speaker 2: that you're doing.
• 1:06:15
  Speaker 4: Good evening once again, I can be followed on Facebook.
• 1:06:22
  Speaker 4: I am Kimberly Thomas on Facebook. I can also you
• 1:06:27
  Speaker 4: can email me at Daughter of Destiny WVP at gmail
• 1:06:33
  Speaker 4: dot com and my phone number is eight five zero
• 1:06:39
  Speaker 4: three two two three six seven five. I am always here,
• 1:06:44
  Speaker 4: always a listening ear, always ready, willing and able to
• 1:06:48
  Speaker 4: pray with you, to encourage you to help. If you
• 1:06:52
  Speaker 4: just need somebody just to listen and hear your heart,
• 1:06:58
  Speaker 4: I am always here. I want you to know that
• 1:07:01
  Speaker 4: my door is always open, my phone it's always on,
• 1:07:05
  Speaker 4: and whatever you need, I am here for it.
• 1:07:10
  Speaker 3: Thank you, Thank you, Shaniya. Hi.
• 1:07:16
  Speaker 7: Everyone.
• 1:07:17
  Speaker 6: You can reach me on all platforms.
• 1:07:21
  Speaker 7: Shaneer your Osborne.
• 1:07:24
  Speaker 8: You could also email me Shaneer your Robbers at yahoo
• 1:07:28
  Speaker 8: dot com.
• 1:07:29
  Speaker 10: You can also call me at four seven O six
• 1:07:32
  Speaker 10: nine six six sixty sixty nine. And I do want
• 1:07:36
  Speaker 10: to leave something forever one before I before we get
• 1:07:40
  Speaker 10: off here today, I want to leave with songs one
• 1:07:43
  Speaker 10: forty seven verse three.
• 1:07:46
  Speaker 7: He heals the broken heart and He blinds up their wounds.
• 1:07:51
  Speaker 8: So when we trust in God, if you just go
• 1:07:53
  Speaker 8: in that word and meditate on that word, God will
• 1:07:57
  Speaker 8: heal anything.
• 1:07:58
  Speaker 6: He will heal the okay hearty.
• 1:08:00
  Speaker 7: So I just want to leave that with everyone and.
• 1:08:03
  Speaker 8: Everyone across the world that God heals, He knows how
• 1:08:07
  Speaker 8: hard you know, everything that we're facing life.
• 1:08:10
  Speaker 5: Just trust him.
• 1:08:11
  Speaker 8: That's all you want us to do, is just to
• 1:08:14
  Speaker 8: trust Him and have faith of the must to see
• 1:08:17
  Speaker 8: and God will the mountains. And I lead it with you, guys.
• 1:08:20
  Speaker 8: I love you, and thank you for having me on
• 1:08:22
  Speaker 8: this platform today.
• 1:08:25
  Speaker 3: Amen. Amen, Miss Danielle.
• 1:08:31
  Speaker 6: Okay, Hello everyone again, thank you again for just this opportunity.
• 1:08:35
  Speaker 6: Once again, I'm Danielle Ross and I am the owner
• 1:08:37
  Speaker 6: of Hope's Legacy Grief Supports. I offer grief coaching and
• 1:08:42
  Speaker 6: newer services that I'm offering are bereavement dueler services. You
• 1:08:46
  Speaker 6: can find me at Hopes, Legacy, g S dot com.
• 1:08:50
  Speaker 6: So it's just h O P E S and then
• 1:08:52
  Speaker 6: Legacy and then gas and georgees Is and Sam dot com.
• 1:08:56
  Speaker 6: That's my website. And then you can also reachaneve my
• 1:08:58
  Speaker 6: phone number ecode nine seven two two nine two eight
• 1:09:03
  Speaker 6: three nine seven. Once again it's nine seven two two
• 1:09:06
  Speaker 6: nine two eight three ninety seven. Or you can even
• 1:09:08
  Speaker 6: send me an email. It's just move forward CS at
• 1:09:11
  Speaker 6: gmail dot com and it's spelled m O V and
• 1:09:14
  Speaker 6: then forward C as in Kat s is in Sam
• 1:09:17
  Speaker 6: at gmail dot com. And I love to just connect.
• 1:09:20
  Speaker 6: If you just want to talk or just want someone
• 1:09:22
  Speaker 6: to listen, I'm here, and please don't be afraid to
• 1:09:24
  Speaker 6: reach out for help, whether it's me, someone else is
• 1:09:28
  Speaker 6: on the call today, or just even just local resources.
• 1:09:32
  Speaker 6: Please don't suffer alone. God has made us for communities,
• 1:09:35
  Speaker 6: made people to help us. Or there's counselors, doctors, even strangers.
• 1:09:39
  Speaker 6: I've seen how He's just sent people my way that
• 1:09:41
  Speaker 6: I don't even know that have been a blessing to
• 1:09:44
  Speaker 6: listen and to help me heal and to help me
• 1:09:47
  Speaker 6: see things from a different perspective. So just know that
• 1:09:50
  Speaker 6: he doesn't want to leave you broken, that he lets
• 1:09:53
  Speaker 6: us to be healed. And even in the midst of
• 1:09:56
  Speaker 6: kind of the uncertainty, the unknown, we don't know what's
• 1:09:58
  Speaker 6: coming next. God, it's just with us and he's for us,
• 1:10:02
  Speaker 6: and he doesn't want us go through these things alone.
• 1:10:03
  Speaker 3: So thank you, Amen, Amen, Shannette.
• 1:10:12
  Speaker 5: Hello again, my name is Chanette Johnson. You can reach
• 1:10:15
  Speaker 5: me on all platforms at Let's talk about it, Okay, Yeah,
• 1:10:23
  Speaker 5: let's talk about it where we talk about social injustice.
• 1:10:29
  Speaker 5: My our email is at is Let's talk about it
• 1:10:33
  Speaker 5: twenty twenty four at outlook dot com. Our website is
• 1:10:40
  Speaker 5: Let's talk about it with Shanett and Cornell. You can
• 1:10:45
  Speaker 5: reach us at nine five one sixty six nine four
• 1:10:49
  Speaker 5: four five zero. If you have a loved one that's
• 1:10:53
  Speaker 5: currently unlawful, fighting a wrong for conviction over sentencing, give
• 1:10:59
  Speaker 5: us a call. We would love to hear from you
• 1:11:04
  Speaker 5: and and let's talk about it. I also just released
• 1:11:09
  Speaker 5: my first book coming Oh lord, I forgot the title
• 1:11:17
  Speaker 5: just that fast. That's how I'm overworked. I work at night,
• 1:11:22
  Speaker 5: but yes on Amazon, just google my name as soon
• 1:11:28
  Speaker 5: as I remember the title.
• 1:11:30
  Speaker 2: I'll let you know. Thank you guys, it is. You
• 1:11:37
  Speaker 2: know what, Shannett, I think I forgot the title too.
• 1:11:42
  Speaker 2: I think it's I'm not gonna think.
• 1:11:44
  Speaker 3: I'm not.
• 1:11:44
  Speaker 2: I'm not gonna.
• 1:11:45
  Speaker 3: I'll post it in the comment section because you.
• 1:11:47
  Speaker 5: Know what, I just remember emerging from the shadow of grief,
• 1:11:52
  Speaker 5: and it's coming out of the grief that I did
• 1:11:56
  Speaker 5: the my cover myself. Angela gave me the idea of
• 1:12:03
  Speaker 5: doing a shadow, a shadow figure of my son. So
• 1:12:08
  Speaker 5: I did a shadow and I'm not I'm coming from
• 1:12:13
  Speaker 5: behind the shadow, So I'm coming from I'm emerging out
• 1:12:18
  Speaker 5: of the grief stage. So I'm coming out of it
• 1:12:22
  Speaker 5: and I'm very It's just something that I had to
• 1:12:25
  Speaker 5: get off my chest. So it's out there on Amazon.
• 1:12:30
  Speaker 5: It came out like a couple of days after his birthday.
• 1:12:34
  Speaker 5: So yeah, I'm I did it.
• 1:12:39
  Speaker 2: I finally did it.
• 1:12:40
  Speaker 5: Thank you guys, and be blessed.
• 1:12:44
  Speaker 3: Amen. Amen in Trevida. How can we connect with you? Yes? Amen, well,
• 1:14:15
  Speaker 3: I definitely think Amen. Amen. Can y'all hear me? Okay?
• 1:14:24
  Speaker 2: So I thank God for each and every one of
• 1:14:27
  Speaker 2: you guys coming on and sharing and just providing this
• 1:14:31
  Speaker 2: space for individuals that may be going through helping them
• 1:14:35
  Speaker 2: to be able to process this journey because it is
• 1:14:38
  Speaker 2: a journey. So I definitely thank you guys, and we
• 1:14:42
  Speaker 2: will be back on the fifth Sunday. I think the
• 1:14:45
  Speaker 2: next the next day is in August. I think we'll
• 1:14:49
  Speaker 2: be back in August. I think August, y'all. I don't remember,
• 1:14:54
  Speaker 2: like I have my hands in a lot, but I
• 1:14:55
  Speaker 2: think it's August the thirty. I will I will definitely
• 1:15:00
  Speaker 2: be posting and sharing, but I think it's August the thirtieth, y'all.
• 1:15:04
  Speaker 2: We only come on fifth Sundays, and there is only
• 1:15:07
  Speaker 2: five fifth Sundays end this year, so I think this
• 1:15:11
  Speaker 2: is our third show, so we have two more shows.
• 1:15:16
  Speaker 2: So hopefully we have been doing what we think we
• 1:15:21
  Speaker 2: were purposed to do during this hour. So hopefully somebody
• 1:15:24
  Speaker 2: has been touched again. If you need to reach out,
• 1:15:27
  Speaker 2: do not hesitate to reach out.
• 1:15:29
  Speaker 3: We are here.
• 1:15:32
  Speaker 2: To help and exist. However, we can, like Apostle say,
• 1:15:35
  Speaker 2: if it's just to listen, if you just need a
• 1:15:37
  Speaker 2: shoulder to crowd on, if you just need someone to
• 1:15:40
  Speaker 2: just vent to, we're here for that.
• 1:15:43
  Speaker 3: Again.
• 1:15:44
  Speaker 2: Thank you guys for tuning in, and we'll see y'all
• 1:15:47
  Speaker 2: back in August. I love y'all and hope y'all have
• 1:15:52
  Speaker 2: a great night. And for all the panelists, thank you
• 1:15:55
  Speaker 2: for your time and your sacrifice. I hope you got
• 1:15:59
  Speaker 2: to have a great eat. Nick called the boy Bay
• 1:16:07
  Speaker 5: To mind