Latest / Off The Kirb Ministries / Boss Babe vs Woman of God (5 Major Differences)
Transcript
- 0:00If you haven't yet heard her message to all women, you're
- 0:03missing out. I was raised by a single mother,
- 0:06I went to college, I got my degree in statistics which is a
- 0:08male dominated field, I got my job at Visa and at the age of 24
- 0:13I bought my home in the Bay Area which is an expensive market to
- 0:16purchase a home. It just proves to you that I
- 0:18worked my butt off to get what I had.
- 0:20After I bought my home, I proceeded to remodel the home
- 0:22with my own two hands using YouTube tutorials.
- 0:25So like literally I did not need a man, I did the manly work.
- 0:29I scraped to popcorn ceiling, I put in a full laminate floor.
- 0:32I learned how to use a table saw and not cut off all 10 fingers,
- 0:36right. So like I proved it.
- 0:37I did the thing. I proved that I can live this
- 0:39life without a man. And I'm telling you it is not
- 0:42fulfilling because at the end of the day, I was sitting in an
- 0:45empty home absolutely miserable that I was alone.
- 0:47So I need a man to fulfill my greatest potential in life,
- 0:52which is to become a mother. There is nothing that's better
- 0:55than becoming a mother and having that legacy.
- 0:57And when you find the right man who wants to have that legacy as
- 1:00well, you will want to submit to him.
- 1:02A couple of weeks ago, I made a video on five major differences
- 1:06between an alpha male and a man of God.
- 1:09And in the video I said, listen guys, I've done these videos in
- 1:12the past and I'm perhaps not the best person in the world to talk
- 1:16about these things. I kind of have a picture of mind
- 1:18of certain Christian men that I think, oh, they do a great
- 1:21message on this. And I think, is this really my
- 1:23calling? But I did it anyway.
- 1:25And I said I might even delete the video at the end, but all of
- 1:29you said don't delete the video. And then I asked you, would you
- 1:32like me to do a video about what we should be looking for in the
- 1:35Bible of what a woman of God is, who is a woman of God as the
- 1:39scripture describes it. And I kind of regret making that
- 1:43statement because the comments section was basically unanimous.
- 1:47And please make this video, Joe. So I have done it today.
- 1:51This is I've done some studying. But again, I'm just a little bit
- 1:55wary thinking, I hope what I'm saying doesn't get
- 1:57misunderstood. And it's very difficult to, to
- 2:01pitch it to Christians because on one side you've got this idea
- 2:05of in Christianity of the trad wife, you know, the traditional
- 2:08wife who stays at home, looks after her children.
- 2:11That's one side. But then on the other side, at
- 2:13the other extreme, you've got the Christian women who like
- 2:16what we're talking about the the boss girl, the boss babe who is
- 2:19very independent and she does all of this and she has her own
- 2:23ways. So let's get to work, shall we?
- 2:26Now, if you've never been on this channel before, this is my
- 2:29coffee channel. It's very different to my main
- 2:32channel, Off the Curve Ministries.
- 2:33And we just basically drink coffee together and look at
- 2:36Bible verses. It's really that simple.
- 2:39And some of you might have noticed in both the channels
- 2:42I've got these new mugs, I have to keep emphasizing this.
- 2:46I know you trust me anyway, but this isn't a money making
- 2:49scheme. It's literally just a way so
- 2:51that, you know, you can remember to pray for the ministry and
- 2:54just kind of, I just think it's kind of cool because some
- 2:56friends made this for me and people are asking can I get one
- 3:00of them? So we are actually selling them
- 3:02at the moment if you want to get a copy.
- 3:04And we've also asked people if you want to take a picture of
- 3:06yourself with the mug. I'll send you an e-mail once you
- 3:10buy the mug. If you take a picture of it,
- 3:12we'll put you up here in the channel.
- 3:14And one brother even did a very short video.
- 3:17So even if you do a video, we'll put you here at this moment now
- 3:20on the channel. Hey, Joe, I got your cup.
- 3:22Coffee day is pretty good in this cup.
- 3:27OK, have you got your coffee or your hot beverage ready?
- 3:29Well, let's talk about it now. Just before I come to the first
- 3:33difference, I think it is important for you all to know.
- 3:36Again, please don't misunderstand me when we're
- 3:38talking about a boss babe, a boss girl, an alpha female,
- 3:42somebody who's very independent. They have their own business.
- 3:45They they run things themselves. They're kind of like, I don't
- 3:48need any man. I can do everything myself.
- 3:51Just please do know I am by no way saying that Christian women
- 3:55cannot work. Here's a little secret for you.
- 3:59For many years, Emma funded my ministry when I was just doing
- 4:04St. preaching and working at churches.
- 4:06We didn't have enough money to to bring home the bacon if you
- 4:10like. And Emma, you know, worked very
- 4:13hard in a school and provided for us if you like.
- 4:17Even though I did have a salary, it just wasn't enough to to
- 4:19cover everything. So please don't ever think that
- 4:23that's what I'm trying to say. You know, this is 1 where you
- 4:26know, there is a stereotype we get in our heads.
- 4:28And actually I'm going to share some verses of you of women of
- 4:32women who worked in the Bible. If you've got a Bible there, you
- 4:34will need Proverbs 31 open because we're looking at that an
- 4:38awful lot today. Proverbs 31, verse 16, it says
- 4:42she considers a field and buys it from her prophets.
- 4:46She plants a vineyard. And then verse 24, it says she
- 4:51makes linen garments and sells them and supplies sashes for the
- 4:56merchants. So in other words, this woman
- 4:58has got a business. She's an entrepreneur, if you
- 5:01like. She's very industrious.
- 5:02She is making money, you know, and she's providing for a
- 5:06family. We've also got Lydia in the
- 5:08Bible who was a seller of purple cloth which was very expensive.
- 5:13So yes, women can work. Hope that's clear.
- 5:16And me and Emma have even chatted about if there comes
- 5:19another point in my ministry, would she go back to work?
- 5:22And we both say of course. And there's some women who are
- 5:25listening to me right now who are struggling massively.
- 5:29Perhaps you are a single parent or you know your husband's not
- 5:33well or all kinds of different things and you're working hard.
- 5:36I want you to know you are doing a wonderful work for the Lord
- 5:39God and He is pleased all of your labours.
- 5:43OK difference #1 The difference from the worldly woman, the boss
- 5:48girl, the alpha female versus the the godly woman is there is
- 5:53a real emphasis on the external. Again, let's look at Proverbs 31
- 5:59verse 30. If there are any men listening
- 6:01to me right now, which I expect there will be, you need to
- 6:07memorise this verse. If you're single and you haven't
- 6:09got a wife yet, this should be your verse that you should dwell
- 6:13on. Charm is deceitful and beauty is
- 6:17passing, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.
- 6:23So here the Proverbs is saying charm is deceitful.
- 6:26You know, there there are women of the world out there who are
- 6:30charming, they're funny, they can capture, but it's all the
- 6:34front. You know that once they've got
- 6:36you where they want, once they've got you wrapped around
- 6:38their finger, they soon change. And then there are also women
- 6:42who are very beautiful. It says here beauty is passing,
- 6:46meaning it's fleeting. It's here today, but it's gone
- 6:49tomorrow. You know, all of us, men and
- 6:52women alike, we look in the mirror and every day we're
- 6:56getting deeper wrinkles. If you're a man, you're losing
- 6:59more hair. The greys are coming through.
- 7:01You know, we're just, we're drooping.
- 7:03We're all getting older, aren't we?
- 7:05Let's be honest. You know, I remember hearing a
- 7:07comedian, an older comedian saying when he walks down the
- 7:10stairs, it's like a musical instrument.
- 7:13It's like, you know, all the creaks and everything that you
- 7:15can hear as you're going down. We're all getting older, aren't?
- 7:18We're all winding down. But I actually heard somewhere,
- 7:21and again, I should have looked at the original Hebrew before I
- 7:24got on video, but I think the word might be hebel.
- 7:28Hebel, or the word that means common, it's vain.
- 7:33The original word, in other words, it's beauties everywhere.
- 7:37And it's kind of true, isn't it? You know, everywhere you look
- 7:40because of makeup, because of filters on, on, on Snapchats or
- 7:44on Instagram, because of all the technology and all the things we
- 7:48can do right now, beauty is really common.
- 7:51You know, it's it's not like it was 100 years ago where you you
- 7:56had one woman and she you know, she turned heads now now
- 7:59everyone can be beautiful. Every man can be, you know, in
- 8:02one sense beautiful and you're handsome and you're saying,
- 8:05well, Joe, come on, tell me what the secrets are.
- 8:08I don't know how to be and I don't know the secrets ever, as
- 8:10you can see right before you. But the point is this, the Bible
- 8:15saying, don't focus on those things.
- 8:18It says, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.
- 8:23That's what the godly woman does.
- 8:26She fears God. She doesn't fear man.
- 8:29She doesn't fear the approval of of those men who will say, oh,
- 8:33you look great today, or those other women at work that she
- 8:36might be trying to be competitive with her at school.
- 8:38She doesn't worry about all of that, She fears God.
- 8:42My greatest priority is to know God deeply, inwardly, and to
- 8:47fear him as my maker. Now I know exactly what some of
- 8:52you are thinking you're saying, Joe, it's all very easy for you
- 8:54to say that. But here I am as a single woman
- 8:58and I'm trying to attract another man.
- 9:00I'm trying to meet the right man.
- 9:02But it does seem like all these Christian men is all they care
- 9:05about is looks. You know, some of them, I go on
- 9:07their Instagram and I see who they're following and it's it's
- 9:10just all worldly women. Well, if that's you, sister, I
- 9:14just want to say this. They're not the men that you
- 9:17want to to find. Do you know something that I
- 9:20think a godly Christian man would find very attractive?
- 9:23I think he'd look at your Bible and you'd see how well worn is
- 9:27your Bible. Some people are a bit sensitive
- 9:29about this, but I personally quite like it when there's lots
- 9:32of highlighters in the Bible where you've highlighted
- 9:35passages or there's a passage that's well thumbed or there's
- 9:39notes and you scribbling those. I think that's something that
- 9:42women should be concentrating more on is how how many notes,
- 9:45how much time are they spending in the words rather how much
- 9:48time do they have to spend looking in the mirror?
- 9:51I think, you know, this verse is coming on any topic about beauty
- 9:56and it's one Peter chapter 3, One Peter chapter 3, verses 3 to
- 10:024. Do not let your adornment be
- 10:05merely outward arranging the hair, wearing gold or putting on
- 10:09fine apparel. Rather, let it be the hidden
- 10:12person of the heart with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle
- 10:17and quiet spirit which is very precious in the sight of God.
- 10:22So hear the Bible saying, you know, don't worry about your
- 10:26outward appearance and your hair and how you're arranging things
- 10:29and your jewellery, but concentrate on a gentle and
- 10:32quiet spirit. Now again, this could be so
- 10:36easily misinterpreted. You know, it is the Bible saying
- 10:39here, women cannot have opinions.
- 10:41Women must just be silent. They must never speak.
- 10:43They must be docile and passive. No, it's not saying that, but it
- 10:47is given when we look at the Proverbs and we look at
- 10:49Scripture in the whole weight of it, it's saying the woman of
- 10:53God, she isn't chaotic, she isn't loud and outspoken.
- 10:58She she isn't wild and unruly, just shouting all the time.
- 11:01She's got a gentleness about her.
- 11:03She cares. And I'm sure we can all think of
- 11:05examples of that. Perhaps a mother, a grandmother,
- 11:09a lady at church who's just, they're gentle, they're quiet,
- 11:13they've still got a mouth, they're still very well spoken.
- 11:16Some of them very confident, confident not in themselves
- 11:19though, confident in God, but they're so used, so precious by
- 11:24the Lord God. But again, I just want to before
- 11:27we move on, I just do want to emphasize this again, I know
- 11:30some of you'll be saying, but these Christian men is, it's all
- 11:33they seem to care about is, is the outward appearance.
- 11:35Well, I could be wrong about this, but from my friends and
- 11:41from myself, I'll admit, I think when you are a younger man in
- 11:45your early 20's, the first thing you do look for is looks.
- 11:49I'm not saying it's right, it's just that the way men think
- 11:52sometimes, and I do believe you've got to be attracted to
- 11:55every, the whole part of if you're a man or a woman, you
- 11:58want to be attracted to your spouse.
- 12:01But I do believe as you get older and the right men and the
- 12:05right men, even as young men will see the biggest thing is
- 12:09godly character that just shines through when there is a woman
- 12:14who truly knows the Lord, when there is a woman who prays, you
- 12:18know, a woman who prays to the Lord Jesus and knows Jesus
- 12:23intimately. That can't be faked that that
- 12:26that is more precious than Ruby's, more precious than
- 12:29whoever is Miss Universe. It is so beautiful to see a
- 12:33woman who who loves the Lord. And even in older women, you see
- 12:38it, don't you, as those women in prayer meetings and they pray to
- 12:41God. It's, it's a beautiful thing
- 12:44that just speaks volumes to all of God's people #2 the boss
- 12:53girl, the alpha female, she's very loud.
- 12:58Now I want to talk about this a bit more, just so that you
- 13:00understood where I was coming from when I read 1 Peter chapter
- 13:043. So I've got another proverb
- 13:06here. As I said, when you look at the
- 13:07whole of Scripture, it all, it all matches together.
- 13:11It all marries together. So Proverbs 7 verse 11, she was
- 13:15loud and rebellious. Her feet would not stay at home.
- 13:21You see here we see in the Bible, it's talking about a
- 13:25woman who is a very sinful woman.
- 13:28If you read all the Proverbs 7 and it says she's loud, she's
- 13:32unruly, her feet are never at home, she's always out of the
- 13:35house. There's a restlessness there.
- 13:38You know, that's what the women of the world, they, they, they
- 13:40can't stay at home. They don't want to be at home.
- 13:42They don't want to build a home and a family.
- 13:45They want to get out. They want to have fun.
- 13:48They want everyone to hear their opinions and, and what they've
- 13:51got to say. I think that's what it's trying
- 13:54to say. Also, when it says loud, I think
- 13:57it implies she's angry as well. She has no restraint over a
- 14:01spirit. And again, if you read Proverbs
- 14:027, she's lacking self-control in one area.
- 14:06You'll often find somebody's lacking self-control in other
- 14:08areas, whether that is with their temper or whether it is
- 14:13with, you know, gossip or even, you know, greed.
- 14:17It shows us that as men and women, we really must be
- 14:21disciplined. Just tell me in the comments
- 14:23section if I'm sharing too many Bible verses with you.
- 14:25But I just these, these have all just come to me.
- 14:28So just look at Proverbs 11 verse 22, because this is
- 14:32something that I really do want to share with you as a ring of
- 14:38gold in a swine snout. So is a lovely woman who lacks
- 14:44discretion. Now that is one of the most, I
- 14:48don't know what to say, feisty Bible verses out there.
- 14:52And when I was younger, I asked my dad, what does it mean?
- 14:55I don't understand what it means.
- 14:57You know, just like a jewel in a pig snout is so a beautiful
- 15:01woman without discretion. And he said, now I'm not going
- 15:05to name the name because I don't think that's the best thing, but
- 15:08there was a judge on Britain's Got Talent and he said, you
- 15:13know, on the outer appearance, she's very, very beautiful.
- 15:17But the way she speaks to those contestants, it's just not kind
- 15:21at all. She can say some really mean,
- 15:24some really cruel things, and that's what the Scripture's
- 15:28saying here. You know, you've got this
- 15:30beautiful jewel, this beautiful Pearl, this loveliness, and you
- 15:36put it on a pig snout. And that's what the Bible's
- 15:39saying is if God has graced a woman with physical beauty, but
- 15:43she doesn't have that inner discretion, that inner kindness,
- 15:47that inner love, that peace. It's just like that picture just
- 15:51so it's so I'm fitting. It doesn't look right.
- 15:55It shouldn't be there at this point.
- 15:56I would like to share this with you, my wife.
- 16:00As I said, this isn't about women not having opinions
- 16:03because I am abundantly grateful for my wife's strong opinions.
- 16:07You know, anyone who's met my wife will know she's a confident
- 16:11woman. And I'm not in any way saying
- 16:13you can't be confident in a woman of God.
- 16:15That's not my message at all here, as I think you've been
- 16:18able to see as we're looking at Scripture.
- 16:21But my wife's opinions have helped me so, so much.
- 16:25You know, when they say behind every great man is an even
- 16:28better woman or whatever the phrase is.
- 16:31I'm not saying I'm a great man in any way.
- 16:32But you know, some of the graces that you might see in me have
- 16:36definitely come from Emma. And we're on, we're at this
- 16:39stage in our marriage now after 10 years where we can kind of we
- 16:44know exactly what each other are thinking.
- 16:46So last Sunday I was preaching at church and I said my first,
- 16:51my first head in my first sort of section of my message.
- 16:54I said, Emma, well, she gave me her opinion.
- 16:57She said, Yep, you rushed that too much, Joe.
- 17:00You were worrying about something and you had your hands
- 17:02in your pockets too much. And I'm like, these are all the
- 17:06exact same things I was thinking in my own head.
- 17:09And she just knew. And many times she's just helped
- 17:13me in various ways where I've had maybe a dispute or an
- 17:17argument or a situation. She said, Joe, no, you cannot
- 17:21say that. Or Joe, you cannot do this with
- 17:23my YouTube channel. Joe, you need you.
- 17:25You can't put that online. She has helped me and put sense
- 17:30into me where I've needed the most.
- 17:33And I'd like to think hopefully I've been able to do the same
- 17:35for her. That's why it's so beautiful
- 17:37when you're married. You've got to help me.
- 17:38Who? Who helps you?
- 17:40But I will say this, there is something I do say to Emma
- 17:43sometimes when we're in an argument.
- 17:45Emma will have some really good points, really good points where
- 17:48it's like she's flattened me. You know, I've got nothing to
- 17:51say here. You were 100% right.
- 17:53But I will end up arguing back with her because I'll say this,
- 17:56Emma, it's not what you said that's wrong, but it's the way
- 18:00you say it. And I don't know if you're
- 18:02married or if you're single, but you live at home or whatever.
- 18:07Just just bear that in mind. We love men, love to hear their
- 18:12wives opinions. I really do think most men would
- 18:15agree. Hit the like button or let me
- 18:17know in the comments section if you've been helped by your wife.
- 18:20But it's knowing the way you speak.
- 18:22Be gentle, be gracious, have discretion when you share these
- 18:27things and listen as as it could be easily applied before we get
- 18:34a woman right in the comments section.
- 18:35Of course, it could be the opposite way round.
- 18:38Men, you might have a great opinion, you might have a great
- 18:42pointer to your wife or to someone in your work, but it's
- 18:46the way you say it. Let that be a lesson for us all
- 18:50#3 the worldly woman promotes sin.
- 18:58The woman of gods is very different to the worldly woman.
- 19:03She isn't interested in getting involved with gossip.
- 19:07But the worldly woman says, come on, what is the gossip?
- 19:10Tell us, have a bit of fun. The the woman of gods.
- 19:14She doesn't let bitterness eat her up.
- 19:17Someone wronged her all those years ago.
- 19:20She, it may still be painful to her, but she slowly learns to
- 19:24forgive the woman of God. She doesn't lose her temper.
- 19:28She doesn't fly off the handle over the slightest thing, but
- 19:32she knows to how to hold her tongue.
- 19:35She knows how to control her spirit and doesn't get angry.
- 19:39The woman of God, she's modest. She understands.
- 19:42OK, yes, when men look, it is their responsibility.
- 19:46Men shouldn't be looking. Men shouldn't be.
- 19:49Men should be careful with their eyes.
- 19:51But she also knows that woe to the ones by which the sin comes.
- 19:56Woe if I've made anyone to stumble by the way I've dressed
- 20:00The woman of God. She doesn't lie.
- 20:02She doesn't let her friends, you know, like, tell her, come on,
- 20:06it doesn't matter. Your husband will never know
- 20:07where you've been tonight. Just just come out with us.
- 20:10But the worldly woman does. The worldly woman's jealous.
- 20:14She's competitive. She always wants to be the best,
- 20:17to be the top dog, the alpha female.
- 20:21But the woman of God says, no, I'm happy as long as God is
- 20:25happy with me. I've only got my eyes on the
- 20:28judge. We're back in Proverbs.
- 20:30Proverbs 7, verse 21. With her enticing speech, she
- 20:35caused him to yield. With her flattering lips, she
- 20:39seduced him. Now, when I talk about the
- 20:43worldly woman promoting sin, this is actually very different
- 20:46from the the whole kind of boss girl mentality.
- 20:50I'm thinking of a particular kind of woman.
- 20:53And actually I've got a very specific example, but I'm not
- 20:55going to name her. If you know she is, you know she
- 20:59is. If you don't, I'd rather protect
- 21:01you from knowing about this woman.
- 21:03And I wouldn't want to give her any more exposure, even though
- 21:05she's got way more viewers than than me.
- 21:08But there is a woman online, maybe in the last 12 months, but
- 21:13particularly the last few months, who's gone very viral
- 21:17and she's just making great ghosts of sin where she, she
- 21:23literally is the, the, the modern day picture of this woman
- 21:27in Proverbs 7 who, who her feet lead down to death.
- 21:30You know, she, she has many guests there and they eat and
- 21:34dine with her. And those guests were strong
- 21:37men. But those men are going down to
- 21:39Sheol. They're going down to the grave.
- 21:42And this woman, she'll post things online about her ventures
- 21:45of how she's done this and she promotes sin as if saying we're
- 21:49now in 2025, this is what the modern woman should be like.
- 21:53We've got freedom now. No more judgement.
- 21:56All this, you know, all this tolerance, it's wonderful.
- 21:59And I can be who I want to be and I can make lots of money and
- 22:02I can make all of these men, you know, leave their their their
- 22:06wives, leave their girlfriends, you know, make a shame of their
- 22:10children, make a shame inside their hearts.
- 22:13And she makes it all seem like it's fun, but she doesn't
- 22:17realise that she will reap what she sows and she does.
- 22:20She doesn't realise that God is watching old friends.
- 22:24Maybe, just maybe there's an unbeliever listening to me right
- 22:27now. And you may have some of that
- 22:30mindset. Just know God will not be
- 22:33mocked. And if I could challenge all of
- 22:36us, you know, if you're a young man and you're attracted to
- 22:39these things, or if you're a young woman and you are tempted
- 22:43by these things, please read Proverbs 7 and know a woman of
- 22:48God. She's the one who will be
- 22:50praised. She's the one who will leave a
- 22:53lasting impression because this woman and the women of this
- 22:56world who promote sin, they'll soon be forgotten.
- 22:59As we said, beauty is fleeting. What will this woman be like in
- 23:0230 years time when there's a younger model on the scene?
- 23:06Even 10 years time when all these men have?
- 23:10I don't want to speak. It's shameful to speak of these
- 23:14things publicly, but you understand what I'm trying to
- 23:16say. We're all ticking by, but the
- 23:19soul lives on and on and on. And that's why you'd be very
- 23:22wise to honour Jesus with your youth #4 the boss girl, the boss
- 23:28babe. Her identity is built in her
- 23:32possessions, her car, her designer handbag, her money, the
- 23:37holiday she goes on the vacation, she goes on the
- 23:39people. And she spends time with the,
- 23:42the boyfriend that she has who's also, you know, a trophy really
- 23:45muscly. And he's got lots of money.
- 23:47That's often what these women of the world build themselves into.
- 23:52That's what they they hold highly in great esteem is their
- 23:55identity is in wealth and and possessions.
- 24:03But let's contrast that with the woman of God.
- 24:05Look at Proverbs and 14 verse one with me.
- 24:16The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down
- 24:21with her hands. I find that and very, very
- 24:25challenging verse there. So here you are.
- 24:28You've got this wise woman and she builds a house.
- 24:32She cares about her children. You know, you marry it together
- 24:35with Proverbs 31. She dresses her children in the
- 24:38finest clothing. She cares for them.
- 24:41You know, for those of you who homeschool your children, I
- 24:44could get emotional when I think of this, but mothers who, who,
- 24:47who, who spend time teaching their children, educating them,
- 24:51you know, teaching them how to learn and write, You know,
- 24:54mothers who nurse their own children with their, with their
- 24:59breasts. They, they feed their own
- 25:00children. They, they love them.
- 25:02They, they just build that house.
- 25:04They care for their husband. They, they, they look at what
- 25:07meals are going to be the best meals that the husband's going
- 25:09to like, but also he's going to nourish his body.
- 25:12These are women that, that, that literally make the world go
- 25:15round and they, they do a wonderful job and they build the
- 25:19home. But then you've got this, this
- 25:21woman on the flip side, who tears it down.
- 25:25Perhaps she's got a home, but she's always nagging and she's
- 25:28always getting angry at her husband.
- 25:30Or perhaps you know, her children.
- 25:33She doesn't spend time with her children.
- 25:35She just sends them off or puts them in front of their iPad or
- 25:38on a phone and doesn't doesn't do her responsibility.
- 25:41She's always out of the house or she causes so much friction or
- 25:45arguments. If she's not married in the
- 25:47home, she tears it down with her own hands.
- 25:50That's what the woman of the world does.
- 25:52But the woman of God, she, she builds that home and the woman
- 25:56of God, she doesn't need her identity and possessions and
- 26:00money and success and how it looks, you know, keeping up with
- 26:03the Joneses having this beautiful house.
- 26:06Well, let's look at Proverbs 31 and verse 28.
- 26:10Well, firstly, just remember this as we're turning there.
- 26:12Proverbs 31 verse 28, Just know her identity isn't in the Lord
- 26:17Jesus Christ. As that song goes, I am who you
- 26:23say I am and we believe that who who does Jesus say I am?
- 26:28He says I'm forgiven, I'm restored, I'm loved, I'm special
- 26:33because Christ died for me. I'm made in the image of God and
- 26:36the woman of God finds her identity in those things.
- 26:39OK, Proverbs 31, verse 28, it says her children rise up and
- 26:48call her blessed. Her husband also and he praises
- 26:52her. There's so much I could say on
- 26:56this. The woman of God, her children,
- 27:02that is her reward at the end. If you're a mother, if you're a
- 27:06wife, when you've inputted into those children, when the rest of
- 27:11the world have been going on fancy holidays, when the rest of
- 27:14the world have been living for themselves.
- 27:16This boss girl's built her business and she's made herself
- 27:18amazing. And she said I don't need any
- 27:20man, I don't need any any children.
- 27:23I'm just going to be for myself. OK, that might be her reward.
- 27:27But the woman of God, the mother of God, she's her reward is her
- 27:31children. When they say, mum, thank you
- 27:34for raising me in a godly home, thank you for telling me about
- 27:39Jesus. Thank you for setting a godly
- 27:41example to me. And the husband, he praises her.
- 27:46He realises what a gem he's got in, in his wife who really does
- 27:51honour him and love him and support him and helps him to be
- 27:54the best man that he could be. But if you are a husband and you
- 28:00have got a great wife or you know, you've got a wife who
- 28:03loves you, you know, I think we, we'd all say none of us are
- 28:07great husbands. None of us are great wives.
- 28:09We, we're, you know, we've all, none of us are perfect.
- 28:13But you know you, if your wife loves you and she's doing her
- 28:15best, tell her, praise her like this verse says, if you're a
- 28:20child and, and you've grown up, or if you are just a young
- 28:23person listening and your mother looks after you, she's loved
- 28:30you. She's helped you as much as she
- 28:31could. Tell her, bless her, praise her,
- 28:35thank God for her in your prayers and and let her know
- 28:39that you care. It's very sad when we grow up,
- 28:44we go to university and then we lose touch of our parents.
- 28:49I think one of the most precious things is when you can become
- 28:51best friends with your parents. As you get older, don't forget
- 28:55your parents who imputed so much into you, made such great
- 28:58sacrifices. They could have done so many
- 29:01things, made so much more money, set up so many side businesses,
- 29:05but they sacrificed so much because you mattered to them.
- 29:09Make sure that's the same. I would like to just apologize
- 29:12at this point before we get to #5 I do know that this has been
- 29:15very lopsided. It's been very aimed at mothers
- 29:18and wives, and I'm sorry about that.
- 29:21I will have to try and do another message, particularly
- 29:24for single women, but we are going to come to that just right
- 29:27now in #5 So the fifth thing, the 5th difference between the
- 29:33woman of God and the boss babe is self-reliance.
- 29:39It's this idea. It's me first.
- 29:40No one else is going to care about me.
- 29:43So I'm going to look after myself.
- 29:45It's all about me, me, me. Let me turn to second Timothy
- 29:50chapter 3, Second Timothy chapter 3, and verses one to
- 29:55two. Now, this is aimed at both men
- 29:57and women. So we know the context, but know
- 29:59this, that in the last days, perilous times will come, for
- 30:04men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money,
- 30:08boasters, proud. You see, there is a generation,
- 30:12and I think we've all seen it before, of people who are lovers
- 30:17of themselves. They're lovers of selfie.
- 30:20They're always taking pictures of themselves.
- 30:22They love the way they look in the mirror or they stare at
- 30:25themselves in the mirror and they're so vain.
- 30:27And the Bible says that this is going to come in the end times.
- 30:30We're going to see more and more people who love themselves.
- 30:34And that's really what the boss babe epitomizes.
- 30:38It's about me. Look at me.
- 30:40I love myself. It's about me and my Kingdom.
- 30:44But the woman of God isn't like that.
- 30:46The one of God isn't always taking selfies, isn't always
- 30:49looking in the mirror. And again, just no, it's,
- 30:52there's nothing wrong with taking the odd selfie.
- 30:53I'm not saying that, you know, it's OK to to take pictures of
- 30:56yourself, but just make sure there's balance there.
- 30:59Make sure that you are making sure that God is on the throne
- 31:04and you're not trying to to build your own Kingdom.
- 31:07And also there's something that I think we've also got from the
- 31:11world. And it's this sense of I'm going
- 31:13to love myself first. I can't love anyone unless I
- 31:17love myself first. What absolute nonsense.
- 31:20Where, where have we got that from?
- 31:22That's nowhere in the, in the Scripture.
- 31:24The Bible tells us to deny ourselves.
- 31:26The Bible tells us to to that we are to to lay down our lives
- 31:29just as Christ laid down his life.
- 31:31We're told to to, you know, to take up our cross.
- 31:34Daily we see that the perfect act of love when the Lord Jesus
- 31:38Christ didn't love himself first.
- 31:40No, he he'd made himself nothing and went to the cross.
- 31:43That's what real love looks like.
- 31:45So don't think you have to love yourselves to to be able to love
- 31:48other people. No, women, let me just sort of
- 31:54finish with this final verse and we are going to have to finish
- 31:57in Proverbs 31. As you can see, it's just such a
- 32:01precious, precious chapter of Scripture.
- 32:17Proverbs 31 verse 29. Many daughters have done well,
- 32:23but you excel them or you see whether you're single or not.
- 32:29I said I was going to try and share a little bit more with
- 32:32single women. Whether you're single or not,
- 32:35you're a daughter. You had a mother, you had a
- 32:38father. Perhaps you don't know your
- 32:41mother or your father, but you are a daughter and if you're
- 32:45saved, you're a daughter of the most high God.
- 32:49And the question needs to be asked, are you excelling?
- 32:52Are you excelling for the Lord Jesus?
- 32:55Are you in the word? Are you praying?
- 32:57Are you using your gifts that God has given you not to advance
- 33:01your own Kingdom, but to advance his Kingdom?
- 33:05That's what's so vital. And just to say again, if there
- 33:09is anyone who's single listening, I actually do get the
- 33:12whole idea of being a boss babe in one reality, because some of
- 33:17you, you've had fathers who I've just not acted like fathers in
- 33:22any way, shape or form. You maybe have been orphans.
- 33:26You've had no parents or you've had men who you trusted.
- 33:31You trusted them with everything.
- 33:33You couldn't have given them more.
- 33:34You tried this whole way of of being this, you know, gentle and
- 33:37dare I say submissive woman. You tried all of these things
- 33:41and yet where did it get you? He went off with another woman
- 33:45or he left you and you think, well, I'm just going to serve
- 33:49myself because that's all you can trust at the end of the day.
- 33:54If that's you, please hear me. I understand.
- 33:56I don't want to diminish from the pain you're going through
- 33:59and and know this. There is absolutely nothing
- 34:02wrong with being single and saying the Lord is the only man
- 34:05for me, the Lord Jesus, he is the only man for me.
- 34:08There is nothing wrong with that.
- 34:09That's a wonderful thing. So you can give yourself, what I
- 34:12am saying is be that daughter who excels, that daughter who
- 34:17gives herself up for the church, who spreads the gospel, who
- 34:20reads the Word, who is caring, who uses her gifts not for
- 34:24herself, but to extend the name of the Lord Jesus Christ.
- 34:29That's the message here. Come on then tell me how I did.
- 34:34Did I make a complete mess of it?
- 34:36One person actually in the previous video said why is it
- 34:39always men who are giving messages on how a woman of God
- 34:43should be? And I completely understand that
- 34:47and that's why I was very hesitant to do this message
- 34:49today. But tell me, what did you think?
- 34:51Again, as I've said with with any video, if I get it wrong
- 34:55because I'm just a man with clay feet, all men have clay feet, I
- 34:59am more than happy to to delete the video.
- 35:02So if enough of you tell me this was nonsense, Joe, you missed
- 35:05the mark here. I'm okay with that.
- 35:07I know some of you say, oh, you're hiding away from the
- 35:09truth for you. I'm just saying, I'm saying I
- 35:11can get things wrong and I know that for a fact, mainly because
- 35:15of my wife showing me things and just older godly men showing me
- 35:20things. So anyway, it's just lovely to
- 35:22be accountable. It's lovely to have these
- 35:24coffees with you. And I would just very briefly as
- 35:27a little diversion, I really would value a little bit of
- 35:30prayer at the moment, just feeling a bit the whole thing
- 35:35with our daughter Anna, as you know, who was sadly lost in in
- 35:40February. It's kind of caught with me a
- 35:42little bit in a different way. And I'm just, I did a lot of, if
- 35:46you've seen my off the curb channel, I did a lot of videos
- 35:49kind of finding relief in activity.
- 35:53And now I'm just getting a bit tired and struggling with
- 35:55motivation. I'm feeling resources are, are
- 35:58wearing out time and yeah, other things.
- 36:01I'm just looking at what's going to happen in the future and
- 36:04those kind of things. So just please do pray for us.
- 36:06Please pray for this ministry. And you know, I was meant to do
- 36:10Zoom meetings every month with a newsletter.
- 36:14And I'm sorry, just because of time.
- 36:16It's, it's, I'm really struggling to find that time.
- 36:20And then on top of that to do Evangelism St. evangelism every
- 36:24week. I do that every week.
- 36:25And that's a big priority. And then we've got, of course,
- 36:28we've got this coffee channel, we've got the off the Curb
- 36:30channel shorts, we've got a Spanish channel that we try to
- 36:34oversee. There's a lot going on and a lot
- 36:37of it is me kind of doing it all in the background.
- 36:39So just pray for me, pray for my family, especially because I
- 36:43want to be there and be a man of gods and support my wife and my
- 36:48children through this time. And just, yeah, I just value
- 36:51your prayers. I really do need them.
- 36:54And if anyone else has got some prayer requests, just leave it
- 36:57in the comments section. Thank you so much.
- 36:59I really did enjoy this coffee. God bless you all.