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Successful Without Losing Yourself: Ambition, Faith, and Finding Your Why · Rooted & Real With Keenan

• Keenan Crowley AI: What does it really take to be successful without losing yourself in the process? Today I'm joined by Ada BC BC Badamossi, a licensed mental health counselor, business owner, and founder of Mindful Blooms Counseling. BC works with ambitious women who are driven, capable, and often seen as the strong one. But behind the success, many are carrying self-doubt, perfectionism, burnout, and the pressure to constantly prove themselves. Keenan: All right. Hey BC, thank you so much for gracing us with your presence being on this podcast with me. so excited to have you here. And for sure. and you like every good story, I ask everybody the same question. You know, like every good story, it's vital to start from the beginning. So, BC, what is your Bisi Gbadamosi: I think they've got me. Keenan Crowley AI: In this conversation, we're talking about how to pursue big goals without tying your worth to your accomplishments. Why telling people to just rest more often misses the real problem and how faith, identity, community, and mental health can work together in the healing process. We also talk about authenticity, overcoming difficult experiences, receiving support, and what it looks like to build a life that is not only successful. Keenan: How did you become who you are today? Bisi Gbadamosi: Sure. Yeah, absolutely. Well, I I always like to start by sharing that I am the daughter of an immigrant. I'm the eldest daughter of a Nigerian immigrant. if anyone knows very much about African parents, they have very, they tend to at least have very ambitious goals for their children. For most of them, your options are to become an engineer, a doctor, or a lawyer. ⁓ ⁓ Keenan Crowley AI: But peaceful, meaningful, and aligned with who God created you to be. This is an honest, encouraging, and powerful conversation for anyone who has ever felt the pressure to keep performing, keep achieving, and keep holding everything together. Let's get rooted. Let's get real. Here is my conversation with BC Badamosi. Bisi Gbadamosi: For a long time I was okay with that. I believed I was on the path to become a doctor. And I was very ambitious all through childhood, my teenage years. I actually ended up graduating with my associates before I graduated with my high school diploma. And I had to go back to high school for about a week as a an eighteen year old. Yeah. And so I did what was called dual enrollment at the time. Keenan: Wow, that's incredible. Bisi Gbadamosi: I got that finished, then headed to university, and I failed my first year at university. ⁓ that was the yeah. So I was in year three of my bachelor's degree at that point. So that's when the classes are actually very specific to your program. I was pre-med at the time, failed half of my classes that year, really had to reckon with whether I was where I wanted to be, doing what I wanted to do. And quickly. ⁓ Keenan: ⁓ my goodness. Yeah. Bisi Gbadamosi: And painfully, I say quickly, but it was also pretty painful in that time span. Realized that it was not what I wanted. And I was living a lot of my life trying to fulfill the wishes of other people. Not even realizing that, or I guess fully accepting that at least my immediate family, my parents, did not care what I did. They were just happy that I was happy and Keenan: Mm. Bisi Gbadamosi: when they saw that I was actually not where I wanted to be, it was like, so a lot of assumptions were being made. Now it's time to figure out what I actually wanted for myself. Keenan: Mm. Yeah. So can I ask what kind of classes were there? Were they in the third year? And we're yeah. Bisi Gbadamosi: Yeah, so it was organic chemistry, it was it was some ⁓ level math classes. Yeah, it was like all in. I'm eighteen years old ⁓ on those classes. Keenan: Wow. ⁓ my gosh. All that at once? Jeez. Yeah. Okay. So okay. So you were doing doing that. ⁓ you remember like what was that conversation like with the guidance counselors, your parents? Like, I'm really struggling this first year of college. Like what how do I like what was that like? Bisi Gbadamosi: Mm, absolutely. Yes. Yeah. I don't remember much about my parents, but I do I mean not my parents, I don't remember much about the guidance counselor, but I do remember with my parents, it was a lot of well, we never actually said that. And we're fucking back, I was like, you know what? It wasn't them, it was external like other relatives, like aunts and uncles and things like that. But my actual parents had very high expectations in terms of like grades and making sure I prioritize academics. Keenan: Okay. ⁓ okay. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Bisi Gbadamosi: But the direction of said academics, they didn't really, they didn't really care. And looking back, you know, as an adult, ⁓ many years removed from that time frame, and looking at my own parents, it's like, wow, you know, they're very entrepreneurial themselves. Like they didn't follow traditional routes either. And so they I try to give my younger self some grace, but man, was she dumb sometimes, honestly. Keenan: Yeah. Bisi Gbadamosi: And so really just being able to look back and see that had placed ⁓ many expectations on myself too, not to say there weren't any external ones, but I had gotten myself into a lot of the heartache that I was in. Keenan: Hmm. Yeah. For sure. Yeah. Do you think that like a that do you think that's pretty common with college students, like high school students? Bisi Gbadamosi: Yeah, yeah. Especially with the cultural pressures or the ambitiously driven people, sometimes it can get to a point where we recognize, ⁓ what we're aiming for may not have been own goal ⁓ ⁓ may not have actually ever defined success for us. And so what can happen there is the goalpost keeps moving because we don't have an actual ⁓ Keenan: Mm. Bisi Gbadamosi: target in mind and we're just searching for feelings sometimes instead of actually sitting down and thinking about what do I truly want for myself. Keenan: That's I love that that you said like define success. It's just like if we don't do that, that can I mean it's literally like trying to wrangle, wrangle in a beast because it's can mean anything. It can be different for you, different for me, different for people listening. Like I love that you said that. so from defining success, how did you do that in this season of life? And when did that like ⁓ Bisi Gbadamosi: Yeah. Keenan: Click. Bisi Gbadamosi: Well, one of the things that really ha helped for me is I went on my first international mission trip to the Dominican Republic. And the area that we had gone to was a few hours away from the Haitian Dominican Republic border. There was a lot of poverty, a lot of incredibly young teen pregnancies. Human trafficking is huge there. They were third in the world at one point. And really just seeing Keenan: Okay. Wow. Yeah. Hm, yeah. Yeah. Bisi Gbadamosi: How much it was kind of twofold. I saw that people were quote unquote suffering in the I guess Western idea of suffering. But if you looked at them and you sat with them, despite what they were experiencing, so many of them had such joy. Like they were so full of love and life and peace. And it was like, wow, even in Keenan: Mm. Hmm. Yeah. Bisi Gbadamosi: Like some of the hardest circumstances you might ever see in your life. They have a deeper sense of peace than people in another country a few hours away who have so much more available to them. Their level of peace is still less than what people here are experiencing. And at that point, I was already really deep into the idea of psychology and like wanting to do that. I was almost finished with my new past. Keenan: Mm. Sure, sure. Bisi Gbadamosi: new path for my bachelor's, which ended up being psychology. But as many of us know, you can't do much with just a bachelor's. So I was like, well, what am I going to do next? And so did this trip six months before graduating, decided I was just going to take a year off after I graduated. ⁓ I was going to work at an agency as a technician and just figure out life for myself. And as I was doing that, I really came to find that I just love Keenan: Yeah, for sure. Mm. Bisi Gbadamosi: People, like sitting with people, hearing their stories and helping them process what's going on. that took away the external metrics of what success looked like for me. Like I wasn't ⁓ for a certain title anymore or certain like ambitious way of life. Like I am still ambitious, but I felt more peace in the in-between. Keenan: Mm. Bisi Gbadamosi: like the steps. So sitting in sessions with people, really getting to talk to people. Like if this if their peace sessions one to one was all I ever did, like if you never saw me on big stages or publishing articles or journals or anything, it would be enough for me because I'd got to the place that I felt that true sense of peace. Keenan: Yeah, for sure. So was there like like something I guess when did you figure out like doing this ⁓ you peace? Was it on the mission trip? Was it like an internship? Bisi Gbadamosi: Yeah, it was more so talking to people and hearing their stories. It's just like I wish I could do this all the time. Like I wish I could hear more people's stories. I wish I could get to know people. I wish I could I wish I could have helped the Domin the Dominican people who would experience trauma in a deeper way. And I was like, this is incredible. And I can do this in my home too. Like I don't have to fly to another country to do this kind of work. And Keenan: Okay. Sure. Sure. Bisi Gbadamosi: In fact, I did end up moving there for a few years. I got married to one of my translators and did live there for a bit. Got to work with an incredible human trafficking organization. But the biggest takeaway is that I could do this anywhere. And that was super cool. I was super grateful to have had that relevation on that trip. Keenan: Wow. Yeah, for sure. So you come back from the trip and you realize this new passion. How were how how old were you when that happened? Bisi Gbadamosi: Yeah. I would have been twenty one. Keenan: Okay. So you find this new passion. Did you talk to your family about it? Did you feel like they supported you? Like you knew this is what you wanted to do. How did that conversation go? Bisi Gbadamosi: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Immediate family. ⁓ I so I'm the oldest of three. I've got two brothers and my parents. Honestly, they were all fine. My mom even did her bachelors in psychology. So she really really understood that piece. But for my dad, it was like, you just gotta do something. Like do something and so like figure like figure yourself out, right? Try things. But the what of it all was really up to me. Keenan: Mm-hmm. Nice. Okay. You got his number. Yeah. ⁓ Yeah, for sure. do you feel like you had a lot of like support going into this new venture? This from your family, friends? Okay. Bisi Gbadamosi: Yeah, absolutely. Like I don't feel like I was discouraged, like were supportive. Like so much of the pressure that ⁓ had felt or believed I was experiencing had been for myself. Keenan: Hmm. Yeah. Wow. So it's almost like I mean, obviously there are some people who get pressure from their family sometimes, but it seems more like most of the pressure is from inside, from us. Yeah. Bisi Gbadamosi: Mm. Yeah. Yeah. ⁓ especially with ambitious people. Like that's where I see like it may have started externally. Like there's definitely points in my teenage years where I can definitely pinpoint where it may have come from other people. But that's the thing that gets missing as you continue to get older, those external voices at some point become your own. And you can be harder on yourself than anybody else could be a lot of the times. Keenan: Yeah. Hm. Bisi Gbadamosi: And so where I had been at that point was I had internalized and intensified ideas for myself. Keenan: Okay. Yeah, for sure. ⁓ you say I how did you get out that? I guess how did that next the next part of your story, how did that impact you then? Bisi Gbadamosi: Yeah. A lot of my own personal therapy, I will say that that had helped. The program that I ended up going into, I started it about a year after I'd finished my bachelor's, and they had a requirement of at least two semesters of therapy. One your very first semester in the program and one your first semester in internship. And so when I'd started my program, I had to jump into personal therapy Keenan: Fair enough. Okay. Okay. Bisi Gbadamosi: Unfortunately, my personal therapist, not the greatest, like I ended up getting a different therapist later, but because that first semester, we were supposed to be intentionally thinking of what it was like in the client's position, what was it like to be on the other side of therapy? I was aware of that and kind of thinking through, okay, what do I wish had happened differently in that session? Like Keenan: ⁓ no. Bisi Gbadamosi: Now that I'm at least talking about this, going on for myself? And so I spent more time like diving deeper, really kind of just processing what I did and didn't want for myself. And ⁓ COVID in the following semester. COVID hit second semester in grad school. And if you to talk about having time to think about stuff, that definitely gave me Keenan: Mm. Covid. Bisi Gbadamosi: So much time to think about stuff. That lockdown, that first month, like so it's been six years now, but it still feels like it was yesterday in a lot of ways. at that point, I had also been on staff at my childhood church. I gone to this church since I was a toddler, ⁓ if Keenan: Mm-hmm. Bisi Gbadamosi: I'd started volunteering from second grade all the way up to high school because I didn't want to sit in big service and I got to sit in with children's church. And when I'd when I had failed that first year of college, I'd been living on campus and came back home to finish the rest of my degree. And when I did come back home, I was offered a part-time position at the church. so a lot of same work I'd already been doing, but Keenan: Wow. Bisi Gbadamosi: just more of it and actually compensated. When COVID hit, I switched from being the ministry assistant to ⁓ you know social media manager. I don't know. It was it was COVID. We were just trying to fit in to where we could. And summer was a lot happening in the country. And it had been I think by this point, Keenan: We were all trying to figure it out. Hmm. Yeah. Bisi Gbadamosi: Three completely tragic murders of black people at that point. It'd been Brianna Taylor, Amon Aubrey, and then George Floyd was the catalyst for what ended up happening to me. was sitting in the back of the sanctuary mo monitoring the live stream, so watching the comments, making sure everybody could hear all of that. And week after George Floyd's passing. My pastor decided to start a sermon series against Black Lives Matter for four weeks. And that first one, he like just multiple times completely just bashed the agenda or the idea that Black people have been mistreated, that there's nothing wrong with our country, all of that. And I was sitting there listening to that, reading comments, and just going, I I've been here. Keenan: Mm. Mm. Bisi Gbadamosi: Over 20 years, like I've openly talked about the how things like this have impacted me. I've obviously experienced some pretty messed up stuff here. sitting there is like, how what? Like, am I not am I not is my experiences not real? Are they not valid? And I had to walk out. I did end up walking out of that service. Granted, it was still COVID, so no one was really in the sanctuary. ⁓ Keenan: Mm. Right, yeah. Bisi Gbadamosi: But I walked out and I was like, what just happened? Like it felt like such a disconnect to witness the place where I'd grown up felt so loved and encouraged, try to weaponize our beliefs to further the the harm of other people because of their ethnicity or their race. There's just a huge disconnect. And it really just highlighted Keenan: Hmm. Yeah. Bisi Gbadamosi: What is going on? What am I doing? Why am I doing this? And it it got worse after that. I ended up having to put in my two-week resign resignation letter. in that letter I went through and I just quoted like from multiple sermons what he had said over the last few weeks and as to why I felt they were unbiblical and why I no longer felt comfortable in this place. But it it really like shattered my identity. I was like, Keenan: Mm. Wow. Bisi Gbadamosi: I thought I knew what was true, how we were supposed to treat people, how how my faith was guiding me to live. And for a while it was just like, did I misunderstand something? Like this can't be possible. Like there's no way. And unfortunately, especially during that time period, that was not uncommon. Keenan: Yeah. Yeah. Bisi Gbadamosi: There is a lot of places over the country who felt or Keenan: Hmm. Bisi Gbadamosi: Pastored from this belief system. And it's kind of like a domino effect of seeing, like, okay, it's not just me, something is happening our culture, in our country. And it really led me into so much more research, understanding the intersection of religion and racial trauma, and how something so ⁓ and life-giving can be warped by people. Keenan: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Bisi Gbadamosi: And it let me get to a place where I could say, okay, if this is my story and I have the resources to get support, imagine how many other people don't have that are struggling in this way. So it really helped to fine-tune the direction I went with my counseling, with my clients. got to a place where I was really able to wrestle with my faith and Keenan: Yeah. Right. Yeah. Bisi Gbadamosi: Kind of just see, okay, what do I believe because I believe it and what do I believe because I was told to believe, and really get to a place where it felt more true to myself. Like this is my faith because it's what I believe, not just because it's what I've grown around. I would have preferred if it had happened differently. That was pretty painful. But the end result, I don't know if I would have the kind of faith I have today if I hadn't been through that. Keenan: Sure, sure, for sure. Yeah. So, how would you say your faith is now? I mean, it sounds ⁓ me about that. Bisi Gbadamosi: No. Yeah, I still very much identify as a Christian. I I would say the biggest thing is that like one of the things that kind of still repeats in my head and still is kind of ongoing given a lot of what we see today is the statement you can't be a Christian if. That's a statement that I have really come to and fight against. Like ⁓ gotten to a point where I'm not gonna ever be the one to tell someone that, like that is between me and God, ⁓ going on. Keenan: Yes. Right. Right. Right, that's between you and the Lord, for sure. Bisi Gbadamosi: Yeah, and really just breaking down like time I hear that going, okay, slow down. Something's going on with that person. That's on them. That's not about Jesus. That's not about ⁓ faith at all. They've got some work to do. I'm gonna let them work on that and just stay in my lane. ⁓ Keenan: Hmm. ⁓ go ahead. Bisi Gbadamosi: sorry, there was a while where I was like, is of God? Like this can't be. And so kind of really just seeing it happen all over the place and kind of really diving in for myself, lots of conversation with other leaders I talked to in so many books and things like that. I was like, you know what? It doesn't make sense. It's not aligned with what I know to be true. And ⁓ I can recognize that there is a lot of work that needs to be done because humans have messed up a lot of things, and I still serve a good guy. Keenan: Amen to that for sure. love that part of your story because I've heard stories like that before. And then they're just like, man, I'm I'm done with this Christian stuff. Like I'm out. And I love that you were like, wait a minute. Let me look into this more. ⁓ I think more people need to do that than just washing their hands of it. Bisi Gbadamosi: Yeah. Yeah, mm-hmm. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mm-hmm. And I will say, like, there was a period where from the outside it may have looked like I walked away. Like I was very much involved. Like I was at church like five, six days a week, like always there serving. And I had to take a big step back. I'd switched churches. I'd gone other places. And I kind of was just a backseat Baptist for a while. I was sitting there and kind of listening. But Keenan: Sure. Sure. Bisi Gbadamosi: You weren't gonna see me all into these ministries or anything like that, because I needed to figure stuff out. But knew if I had left completely, I probably never would have come back. And that wouldn't have been a fair chance to my faith either. So I had to figure out what it looked like for myself. But I will still to this day, I'm sure people talk about BC no longer being a Christian anymore because BC does this, this, and this. And you know what? I them believe what they want because they're not the one living my life. Keenan: Mm-hmm. That's right. That's right. It's about your relationship with the Lord, not not theirs. ⁓ so someone's listening to this, kind of hearing your story and going like, wow, like I'm experiencing that. Like I need I'm thinking about what I do with my faith. they're kind of wrestling with doing that wrestling match, like, what would you say to them? Bisi Gbadamosi: Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. I would say the biggest thing is to ask questions. I feel like a lot of people grown up in faith-related spaces where they were shamed for asking questions, which is so opposite of who Jesus is. Like ⁓ was ⁓ away from his mom to go people ask people questions, like ⁓ by his experience of anything. And I think don't be afraid of answers. Like Keenan: Yes. Mm-hmm. Right. That's right. Mm. Bisi Gbadamosi: Ask the questions in good faith. Like don't be cherry-picking which answers you're going to accept and which ones you're not. Like genuinely be willing to talk about what's going in your head. Be mindful of the sources you're going to. Like absolutely like vet those out. But really faith, for mental health, for whatever you're going through. Keenan: Sure. Absolutely. Bisi Gbadamosi: Ask about what you're feeling in your mind because if you're just gonna keep it to yourself, is going to be like an echo chamber and it's going to intensify and it's gonna be painful and isolating and exhausting. You need to talk about it with someone, someone safe, but don't try to handle it all on your own. Keenan: Right. Absolutely. I love that. And you know, the point that you made, not handling on your own kind of pours into something I talk a lot about is like just having a community, someone you can trust, someone you can lean on. Who in your story, you're going through this process? Like how important was that to you? Was it important? Was it helpful? What did that look like? Bisi Gbadamosi: Yeah. Yeah, that was everything. my at this point I was in my twenties, but I grown really close as I was a teen to youth pastor's wife from like teen years up into early twenties. And so as this was happening, I was like having ongoing conversations with her and her husband too, but more her sorry, youth pastor's wife, not the head pastor. It was the head pastor who'd done all the ⁓ the ridiculousness the Keenan: Mm. Right. Yeah. Bisi Gbadamosi: The youth pastor and his wife and I should also say that what was happening in 2020 was happening, there had been a lot of other fallouts in the church. Like there's already so many waves of exodus of people at that point. But I was secured away in my children's ministry until this point and didn't really know what was happening. And so as I was leaving during that instance for me, that was also a catalyst for other people for that same instance. Like other people also were really. Keenan: Yeah. Right. Bisi Gbadamosi: Upset about that. And that included some of my closest friends. Like we were all in different places in the church at that point, but that sermon was like, okay, it's time. And so when we made the shift to leave, I had them too as we were looking for other places and figuring out what was next. think if I had done that alone, it would have been even more. Of a struggle to stay connected, even in the small ways that I have been. Keenan: Hm. Yeah, for sure. so you mentioned in your story you got married to the translator on the mission trip. Where is ⁓ is where are they at in all this? I'm curious. Bisi Gbadamosi: Yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah, so at that point they were still going to Dominican Republic because we didn't get married until about three, four years after we'd first met. Like it wasn't an instant connection anything like that. I had ended up going back and forth quite a few times on other trips ⁓ at that point. And so it wasn't like my first trip. And then we were like married unhappily ever after. I did go quite a few times outside of Keenan: Okay. Yeah. Okay. Bisi Gbadamosi: having feelings for the the translator. and then 2021 we got married. We let I move there for about three years. And then as of last year, 2025, we both moved back to well, I moved back to the States. He was able to come with me. we still partner a lot with a ministry, a sports ministry. He's a baseball coach. and so we partner a lot with them. ⁓ Keenan: Okay. Bisi Gbadamosi: Still in DR, we're actually going back in a few weeks to to see family and things. ⁓ and now he also still coaches here in Florida. And so there was some, there's a lot of support, but also a lot of confusion because at least for a lot of people on the outside, like hearing what happened, they were like, How does that make sense? Like, Keenan: All right. Bisi Gbadamosi: How can you say you're Christian and you're doing all of these things and you're questioning people? so there is always so much support for him from him, but it was really like, how could this happen at a church? And that was the biggest thing because his culture is so different, like having to explain that unfortunately, like this can be a history in the States ⁓ these reactions. And so it got to be validating to not feel like, ⁓ my gosh, I'm overreacting. Keenan: Right. Bisi Gbadamosi: But also really kind of just disappointing to see like so many other people could see how wrong this was, yet it still continues to happen all. Keenan: for sure. so you know, hearing this, right? They're asking They're like, all right, need find a new church. Should they, I guess, how they go about like exploring like the theology of that church ⁓ or even like asking the questions? Like, how would you, ⁓ if were to ask that how would you answer that? Bisi Gbadamosi: Yeah. I will say one of the other great things that happened out of COVID was live stream church services. That was super helpful for me to be able to see the church's services before actually committing to going in person because I was in a point where I just felt very vulnerable, like having to to leave a place that I'd been at for 20 years and go somewhere new and risk it happening again. Keenan: That's true. Yes. Mm-hmm. Bisi Gbadamosi: Because as I said, it was happening all over the place. And there is this fear that, and I'd heard it in another podcast, the pastor had been saying how he'd felt during this time sitting in a pew and wondering if the person sitting next to you was mourning with you or celebrating what was happening. And that was terrifying. Like that was a risk where for a while I didn't want to take. So live streams was great. Keenan: Mm-hmm. Hm yeah. Yeah. Bisi Gbadamosi: George's websites, like really getting a feel for how are they interacting in just their sermons before actually taking that next step of going in person. Keenan: Yeah, for sure. Yeah. Definitely with COVID and in technology now. Like you can definitely do that. ⁓ for sure. ⁓ okay. So ⁓ does the when does the relationship with I know I I mentioned it earlier, but the relationship with your current husband, how does all that start and where is that at in the story? Bisi Gbadamosi: Mm. Yeah, it's an approval. Yeah, so that would have started let's see. So my first trip, I started going back every six months for a week-long trip. But I'd started going with a different church because my my home church at the time didn't take another team back after our first one. It was probably a year after the first trip where we started talking. Keenan: Okay. Mm-hmm. Bisi Gbadamosi: more romantically and kind of seeing where our relationship could go, that would have been 2019. And so then after that, we decided it wasn't working. And then we took a break for about a year, honestly. And then yeah. And then COVID ⁓ and you know, much more time on your hands. Keenan: Wow. Okay. Ha ha ha. Bisi Gbadamosi: And we ended up reconnecting. from there it ended up being kind of like a wildflower, like really kind of just fully seeing a person who was very much in line for what I feel like for women who've grown up in the church, like there's especially in like the 90s or 2000s, there's very much an idea of like ⁓ out what you want in your husband, like think it all through, like plan it all out. And As unconventional as it was, he ended up being the person that I had I'd wanted for years. And it's really funny because that first trip years back, there one of my mom's friends was on the tr the trip, and she had said to me, Like, BC, are you gonna be the new tailor? Let's say because there was a there was another pastor at Keenan: Mm. Bisi Gbadamosi: my church years before whose daughter met her husband in Mexico. And so we'll just call her Taylor for now. And that first trip, no feelings towards this man yet. My mom's friend was like, BC, you're gonna be the new Taylor? I was like, no, I just went I just met him. but I ended up being the new Taylor and did end up marrying him. Yeah. Keenan: Okay. Sure. There you go. Yeah. you pe I s you know, I see a lot of couples and I that everyone has these different philosophies ⁓ for getting for marriage. ⁓ What is like you and your husband did that was really helpful to get that started? Bisi Gbadamosi: Mm-hmm. Yeah. of the big things ⁓ that it ridiculous, but it helps a lot. Whenever someone says something and then they say never mind, we're like, say it. Like don't filter yourself. Like if you've got something in mind, like go ahead and say it. We can talk about it. That's helped a lot. And sometimes it's just silly things where maybe we said never mind because we answered our own question. Other times was because we weren't sure how the other person was gonna respond. And so really just getting to that place where it's like, it's okay to say it, just say it. If it's dumb, I'll laugh at you, but at least we'll at least we'll have gotten it out of the way. And I think that really created a space of really good just honesty and transparency, regardless of what it was. We knew that we could at least talk about it. Keenan: Yeah, for sure. I love that. So it seems like just having this open communication, this trust, like, you know, I'm afraid how you're gonna react, but you still wanna hear what have to say. ⁓ did you guys do any like premarital counseling or like you read a book or did a class? Okay. Bisi Gbadamosi: Yeah. Mm-hmm. We did a little bit. did a little bit with former youth pastor who I'd been very close with, ⁓ over like Zoom FaceTime because we were out of the country for a lot of it. and then besides it was probably Keenan: Okay. Yeah. Bisi Gbadamosi: Off and on for about two months, and there's like some videos that he'd also send us to review together, but we did do some premarital. Keenan: Okay. Cool. Yeah, for sure. so, you know, y'all get married. how it been, you know, being a business owner, a therapist, entrepreneur, entrepreneur entrepreneur? I can't talk. ⁓ how has it been ⁓ doing that and maintaining a marriage? ⁓ And I mean, how's how are you juggling everything? Bisi Gbadamosi: Yeah. Yeah. I will say a lot of it is like communicating what we can and can't do because he also has a business of his own in addition to his full time. and really just being able to say, Listen, ⁓ I can't handle this right now. Like I need you to like carry the load for me with this or like pick up on that. And also like with my job, there's only there are some limitations of what I can and can't share with him in terms of HIPAA. Keenan: Wow. Bisi Gbadamosi: But kind of like when there are instances when I can talk about like like I feel overwhelmed with the amount of clients I'm experiencing. Like we talk about what would cutting back look like, like who can step up where. ⁓ same for him when we moved here, like he and by he I mean me, because I was filling out all the applications for him, but I'd filled out like eighty applications for him before he even got like a job at a gas station. And like just that process too was really hard for him because he's so used to like doing something like being in his community helping or working on a project. And for a few weeks he had to just sit and wait. he ended up getting a different job in construction. But that in-between period for him too was hard. And so really like having those seasons where things are hard, and again, going back to that open communication, being able to talk to your partner. being able to say I need help and also keeping in mind like there will be seasons where we're having to work long nights but we also have to make sure that we have seasons where we spend time intentionally together too because our priority at the end of the day is always going to be our marriage. Like businesses will come and go and so will jobs but we married for life and so barring any Keenan: Absolutely. That's right. Bisi Gbadamosi: extenuating circumstance, this is who we're gonna have at the end of the day and so we need to nurture that. Keenan: Yeah, for sure. How important is your faith in your marriage, would you say? Bisi Gbadamosi: Yeah, that was huge, especially because that was a lot of what connected it each other or s no, I can't talk connected us to each other. And so really like even like when we were long distance, like talking about our faith, like asking questions, what do you believe about that? Like, what does this mean to you? ⁓ even now, like as we still go to churches, like we'll talk, like, what did you think about this? How do you feel about that? And that's ⁓ really just having that ongoing dialogue so that one, we're not like just going through the motions of our faith too, but also like checking in on each other and seeing how they're doing. Keenan: Sure. Yeah, absolutely. hypothetically, if you ⁓ a Christian and he wasn't, how difficult do you think this would be or not difficult? Bisi Gbadamosi: Sorry, could you repeat that first chunk of the question? Keenan: If ⁓ like if you guys had different faiths, like if you're a Christian and he's not a Christian, how difficult do you think this would be? Or or maybe not? Bisi Gbadamosi: Mm-hmm. Yeah. I I was in and I personally feel like my faith was so important to me that I needed my partner to be of the same religion as me. Other people feel differently and that's fine. But for me I I that was a priority. Like that was my bare minimum. Like a lot of other things were important too. But if that was missing, then it was gonna be a a deal breaker for me. Keenan: Absolutely. Right. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. So if if someone is like, you know, really passionate about somebody, I almost said a girl a guy or a girl, but like it could be a girl or a guy listening to. ⁓ you know, if they're on the fence about that, but they're not a Christian or they or even not even just the same belief, like what do you think they need to hear? Bisi Gbadamosi: ⁓ yeah. Yeah. Think you really have to sit down and think at the end of the day, what are you able to tolerate? Because you might make excuses for it now, but could you make it through several decades with this as an ongoing discussion? And if that doesn't feel aligned with what you're wanting out of your relationship, it's okay to say that. Like doesn't make the other person bad or wrong or just like any kind of like problematic person. It's just different from what you want for yourself. Keenan: Hm. Right. Yeah. I love that. You know, just thinking through ⁓ could the next decade, couple of decades look like. It's not necessarily a no, but it's not necessarily a yes. ⁓ for sure. so, you know, last couple of questions I like to ask. ⁓ sometime like I I talk a lot about mental health on the podcast and you counselors, coaches, Bisi Gbadamosi: Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mm. Mm. Keenan: Someone could be listening to this, thinking about, okay, I'm thinking about starting therapy life coaching or or some sort of health care. ⁓ and they're on the fence about it. They're like, ⁓ don't know, ⁓ maybe I don't think so. ⁓ what is something you think they need to hear to kind of get them off the fence? Bisi Gbadamosi: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Say the biggest thing is it never hurts to try. Like, you and don't be afraid to try out different therapists. Like, if you go to one therapist and it's not a great fit, that's okay. Because that therapist is human too. You guys may not just connect. But the ultimate thing too is to think about not what you could lose, but also what could you gain? Like, you could gain a lot of clarity and mental well-being and balance and peace, and thinking about our Keenan: Mm. Mm. Right. Yeah. Bisi Gbadamosi: That is that temporary discomfort of having to open up to someone new, is that worth more than what you could gain? Keenan: Yeah, so you're you're talking about like w how good it could be. Like how good this could be and how beautiful it could be. ⁓ Bisi Gbadamosi: Yeah. Yeah. Especially because most pain like most of the like the things that are worth it at the end of the day, they didn't happen overnight. Like that's so rarely gonna be sustainable anyway. And so it absolutely makes sense to be nervous. Like often time in therapy you gotta go deep and you gotta look at some things that may not feel great to look at. But really letting yourself think about what could be on the other side of that is Keenan: Sure. Bisi Gbadamosi: is really important to be considering. Keenan: A hundred percent. Yeah, absolutely. So next scenario, your president the president of the world comes to BC and says, Hey, you have one minute to tell everybody something that they all need to hear in the whole world. You have the whole world's attention for one minute. What do you think they need to hear? Bisi Gbadamosi: Mm-hmm. Okay. Mm-hmm. Okay. Yeah. I would say that the most important thing to keep in mind is that when you are working towards something, always think about your why. And is it a why that is true and authentic to you? Is it you're being ambitious because you've got something you want to give the world? Or is you're being ambitious because you feel like other people are expecting it of you? Keenan: Hm. Bisi Gbadamosi: Like, are you changing your mind about your faith because it's the cool thing to do? Or is it because you're recognizing that this faith was never yours? Are you making a huge change just because you're at a certain age and you should? Like none of those things are going to matter if at the end of the day it's not something that you truly wanted for yourself. It's still possible to be ambitious and work towards your goals have peace and be ⁓ Keenan: Hmm. Bisi Gbadamosi: mentally well. But what is gonna get you there is is being honest with yourself and actually looking at why you're doing this and letting that be the thing that's at the forefront. Keenan: Mm. Yes. Absolutely. Figuring out your why. I love that. For sure. So any good podcasts, books, recommendations they want to dig deeper. How can how can people find you if they wanna look you up? Bisi Gbadamosi: Sure. Yeah, I am blooming with BC on ⁓ all social media platforms. And so I post there pretty regularly. I also have a website called in ⁓ called Mindful Blooms Counseling. Sorry, mindful dash blooms dash counseling.com where I post blogs and just like more insights into what this can look like and how to have that balance while still working towards your goals. Keenan: Mm-hmm. Bisi Gbadamosi: And in terms of like podcasts, like one of my favorite podcasts is called That Sound Fun by Annie F. Down. She is a Christian. And she really just talks about what it means to enjoy life. Like, because so many people feel like has to just be working and going all the time. But that's not true. Like you can still have joy despite all of that. So I always, ⁓ love to recommend people check out that podcast to you to especially if you're in a place where you're just like Keenan: Yeah. Bisi Gbadamosi: feeling burnt out and you need some more like OMZ and fun in your Keenan: Absolutely. Okay. Awesome. Well, BC, thank you so much for being here, dealing with my technical issues just hanging out. It's great to hear your story. All right. Yes, for sure. Bisi Gbadamosi: No problem. Absolutely. It was great seeing you again, Keenan.