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Avoid These 5 Foolish Traps with Money & Success (Stoic Guide) · The Stoic Handbook with Jon Brooks

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Hello and welcome to the channel.
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_00: In this talk, I'd like to share with you some reflections that I got from Epictetus, the Stoic philosopher, on integrity and wealth, and how best to think of these powerful drives when it comes to living a wise life.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of talks you see on the internet are about how to get success.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: How to get more money, how to get more status, how to be a G.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: But in this lesson, I'm going to give you five reasons to be cautious about the pursuit of success.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: Number one, you don't need money or success to know that you are an amazing human being.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: Some of us lay awake at night at 3 a.m.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: wondering if we've done anything of worth.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: Have we made an impact in the world?
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: Have we done the things that we've set out to achieve?
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: It can cause us a lot of envy and pain when we see people on the internet living their best lives, meanwhile, we don't feel like we've quite cut it.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_00: We live a very average existence with not that much happening.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: Our life does not look like a highlight reel.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: In Stoicism, there's this principle called the dichotomy of control, which essentially means that in reality, in life, there are some things that are up to us and some things that are not up to us.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: The things that are not up to us are pretty much everything other than your considered opinions, your conscious judgments, your thoughts, your intentions.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: So the way people treat you, the way the world responds to your efforts, how your body decides to function or not function, they are not within your control.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_00: And so in understanding this, you realize that a lot of the external superficial success that people achieve, even though they tell the story that it comes from their virtue, from their ability to work hard and to be disciplined, is to a massive extent luck, good fortune.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: For example, a successful person didn't choose where they were born, didn't choose their parents, didn't choose their IQ, didn't choose their genetics, didn't choose every friend they've ever made or every person they've ever been put in front with, every bit of luck that they've been given.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: And so we have this situation where the successful people who make it are the loudest speakers.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: And the unsuccessful people who may have done all of the same things that a successful person has done in terms of practical steps, because they don't make it, we don't hear from them.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: And so if we're going to focus on success, I think a wise approach would be to be successful at something that you can actually control the outcome of.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: So be a celebrity, be a high status person in the realm of virtue.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: You can control your excellence of character, you can control your intentions, and to a large degree your thoughts.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: There is no dishonor in not attaining society's common conception of success, because there's always a chance of attaining it or not attaining it.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: So much of it is outside of our control.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: Number two, sometimes the best help you can give for loved ones is not helping them.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: Some of us will have the rationalization, the excuse for wanting to be successful or wealthy, that, oh, when I'm wealthy, I can help people I love.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: I can improve the quality of life of my friends.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: On the surface, this seems like a really noble and benevolent attitude, but it also misses something important.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: You know the old saying you can teach a person to fish or you can give a person a fish.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: When you give a person a fish, then they eat for a day.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_00: When you teach them how to fish, they can always catch their own fish.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: And so when you acquire material wealth or status and you just decide to give it away, you then deprive the person of the benefit of learning how to acquire it, which in some sense is more valuable than the thing itself.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: If you ask a quote unquote successful or wealthy person about what they've earned, they will often take great pride in not just the possessions themselves, the money, but in the story of how they got it.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: Because oftentimes, whenever someone achieves something, whether it is acquiring money or running a successful business or raising a child, anything that is quite difficult, it's the overcoming and the enduring and the struggle that is the thing that we end up being most proud of rather than the outcome.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: So the next time you have this thought, oh, I really want to be successful so I can help people around me, instead be the type of person who can help people around you without needing to be successful.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: Teach, guide, lead by example.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: Number three, wealth in and of itself is neither good nor bad.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_00: But sometimes the pursuit of attaining wealth can make us dishonorable, and this is to be avoided at all costs.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: Integrity is more important than wealth.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: So the Stoics realize that there are some things in life that are preferred, like good health and a good lifestyle and money and so on.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: But they also recognize that they are not intrinsically good.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_00: So having a lot of money in the bank is not intrinsically good.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: There are people that have used a lot of money and continue to do so today to do evil in the world and to cause suffering to other people.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: Likewise, there are people who are very poor and don't have much at all, and they exert a positive influence on the world, meaning that money on its own is neither good nor bad.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: That said, if you are a good person, if you value courage and kindness and justice and fairness and you have money, then you probably use that for good.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: So that's why it's preferred.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: But if I were to ask you, what do you value in a friend?
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_00: You probably wouldn't say, Well, I really like sociopaths who are not trustworthy, who manipulate, who lie, who bully, but they are really driven for success.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: You probably wouldn't want to be friends with such a person.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: You'd probably want someone who's honorable and has integrity and tells the truth and has your best interests at heart.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: So if we have this standard for another person, why not use that standard for how we wish to be in the world too?
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: Number four, to truly help the world play your own role as well as you can.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_00: So a lot of people like to fantasize about being this messiah, this hero that saves civilization.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: I want to be super successful so I can just impact so many people and change millions of lives.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: Well, the Stoics would say that each of us has a number of roles to play.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: And the world at large is an integration of these different roles.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: The world wouldn't work if everyone wanted to do the same thing at the same time.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_00: If everyone on the planet wanted to be a cleaner, if everyone on the planet wanted to be a writer, if everyone on the planet didn't want to have kids, if everyone on the planet wanted to have 20 kids, things would start to collapse.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: The world works when different people play different roles to the best of their abilities.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: And so a lot of us we look at other people's roles and we think, I want their role.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: That looks interesting, that looks exciting.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: And there's nothing wrong with having aspirations or being inspired by another person.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_00: However, sometimes this stems from a lack of feeling adequate in our own life.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I want to tell you that I think is actually beautiful and amazing to be normal.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: The role of being a good parent is one of the most important roles anyone can ever have, regardless of wealth.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_00: The role of being a good friend is incredibly valuable.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: The amount of people that you meet, the amount of lives that you can change just by showing up with integrity and playing your role well cannot be understated.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: And so I think there's a lot of humility and wisdom in just figuring out what is our role in life, at least right now.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: And am I playing that role well?
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: Because what's the point in trying to play someone else's role if you can't play your own role well?
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: It's sort of like being in a movie as a certain character, and then the whole time the film is being shot, you're complaining and complaining about not being the other character.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_00: It's gonna make everything worse.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_00: Instead, a professional is like, okay, I'm playing this role.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a supporting actor or actress right now, and I'm gonna do that as well as I can, and that brings everyone else's role up too.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: And the fifth and final idea that I want to share with you is that integrity is not at war with success.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: Even though this is a video about why you should be a bit cautious about success or chasing success, success on its own is neither good nor bad, just like money.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: It's the pursuit and the chasing at the sacrifice of integrity that is problematic for reasons that I've already outlined.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_00: But also, in my experience, the more integrity you have, the more likelihood you will achieve success anyway.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: Both success with who you are, so excellence of character, but also you become more dependable with yourself.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_00: So, for example, someone who's got high integrity and they set a goal, they don't betray themselves.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_00: They don't tell themselves excuses.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: They trust themselves.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_00: So being trustworthy, not only does it create better relationships, it creates a sense of calm and tranquility and happiness with who you are as a person, but I believe it also makes you a lot more efficient at pursuing the things that count.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_00: So quickly to recap, success, status, wealth, they are nice to haves if you already are pursuing a philosophical path of self-inquiry, self-understanding, conscious living, and the pursuit of virtue.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_00: Because then you can relax a little bit more knowing that you will use these things well.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_00: But don't chase success because you want to be admired by others, because you can be a person who deserves admiration without any money.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_00: Don't chase success because you want to help people around you, because you can help people around you more than you realize, and that might just be an excuse to not do the work now.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_00: Don't chase success if it means giving up your integrity, because even with all the money in the world, you will sacrifice your soul and your peace of mind in the process.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_00: Don't chase success just to copy another person, another person's role.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_00: Instead, look at your own role and do that well.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_00: That is success.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_00: And finally, realize that being someone of high integrity who lives a philosophical life, they are more likely to achieve success in a broader spectrum of things that matter.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_00: These ideas came from chapter 24 of Epictetus' Enchiridian.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_00: Hope you found them useful and they give you some good ideas to reflect upon.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_00: If you enjoyed this video and you'd like to see more, please leave me a comment, subscribe, and I'll see you again soon.