Latest / The Breakfast Club / INTERVIEW: Isaiah Rashad Talks 'It's Been Awful,' M.O.M, Sobriety & Career Journeys, Sexuality; Sex-Tape Leak + More

Transcript

INTERVIEW: Isaiah Rashad Talks 'It's Been Awful,' M.O.M, Sobriety & Career Journeys, Sexuality; Sex-Tape Leak + More · The Breakfast Club

0:01
Speaker 1: Every day up, click your ass up. The Breakfast Club.
0:05
Speaker 2: You don't finish for y'all dumb.
0:06
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's the world No dangerous morning Show, The Breakfast Club,
0:08
Speaker 3: Charlamagne and God DJ Envy just hilarious envying justs on here.
0:12
Speaker 3: But Lad l Rossa is and we got a special
0:14
Speaker 3: guest in the building. He's got a new album out.
0:15
Speaker 3: It's been awful. The Good Brother Isaiah Shot. How are you, sir,
0:19
Speaker 3: great man? How you feeling, man?
0:20
Speaker 1: I feel good, skin, looking luxurious.
0:22
Speaker 2: I'm trying to follow, you know.
0:25
Speaker 4: He had to go through too much for that.
0:26
Speaker 5: Look, I'm on the same ship I had. I did
0:29
Speaker 5: a whole bunch of bad shaving in college and stuff.
0:32
Speaker 5: I've been having to do laser and all this other stuff.
0:36
Speaker 4: Your eyebrows, you get your eyebrows.
0:38
Speaker 2: Donau not get me too.
0:43
Speaker 4: He goes through a lot, and.
0:44
Speaker 1: Y'all act like men can't have do maintenance on themselves.
0:46
Speaker 4: You can, but you be not trying. You be running
0:48
Speaker 4: from it. Who will be running from what you always
0:50
Speaker 4: tell you don't get that's don't.
0:51
Speaker 1: Get my welcome. That's in no way shape or form.
0:56
Speaker 4: The art check the end right exactly.
0:59
Speaker 1: Okay, Well to be honest.
1:00
Speaker 3: Listen, listen, listen. Back in the day when I was
1:04
Speaker 3: in I won't even think I was in high school.
1:05
Speaker 3: I think I was like early twenties. Some girls told
1:08
Speaker 3: me that Tupac got his eyebrow watch, and so they
1:10
Speaker 3: convinced me to get my eyebrows watch. And I think
1:12
Speaker 3: when they grew back, it just had a permanent arch.
1:16
Speaker 3: That's what I believe.
1:17
Speaker 2: That's good, that's a good way to look at it.
1:18
Speaker 1: It's the truth. It's been awful. What's what's been awful?
1:24
Speaker 3: Isaiah Shad Because when I hit the album title and
1:26
Speaker 3: I listened to the album, but really the album title,
1:28
Speaker 3: it sounds like a confession, like what's been awful?
1:31
Speaker 1: The industry, your personal life.
1:34
Speaker 2: I mean, an amalgamation of everything. You know. I'm just
1:36
Speaker 2: a human being at the end of it.
1:38
Speaker 5: You know, I went through some ship to an extent,
1:43
Speaker 5: but it was, you know, between being an artist and
1:47
Speaker 5: the expectations of that. And I guess my deconstruction of
1:50
Speaker 5: my masculinity has been a lot of getting to know myself.
1:53
Speaker 1: Who had who deconstructed it?
1:55
Speaker 2: Though?
1:55
Speaker 3: Did you deconstruct it or did you let the court
1:58
Speaker 3: of public opinion? Because I wondered did you face it
2:03
Speaker 3: before that became public or were you already dealing with
2:06
Speaker 3: it privately?
2:06
Speaker 5: I was already dealing with a lot of my own
2:08
Speaker 5: stuff before. I guess it was I'm blessed to how
2:12
Speaker 5: everything happened with me and the reception of everything, because
2:15
Speaker 5: it allowed me to like step back and really re
2:19
Speaker 5: examine what I was doing. Because regardless of, you know,
2:24
Speaker 5: how much I love myself, I still had to be
2:26
Speaker 5: like I put myself in an irresponsible situation for anybody
2:29
Speaker 5: to be able to control my narrative.
2:33
Speaker 6: But at the time, because listening to the project and
2:36
Speaker 6: then hearing you say that, like you felt like it
2:38
Speaker 6: was kind of like a blessing of how everything happened.
2:40
Speaker 6: When did you get to that point? Did you instantly
2:42
Speaker 6: feel like, Okay, this is a blessing?
2:44
Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean at some point in time I accepted
2:46
Speaker 5: that they don't make a manual for being like a
2:48
Speaker 5: bisexual black dude, you know, or any of that type
2:52
Speaker 5: of shit.
2:52
Speaker 2: They don't have a you know.
2:54
Speaker 5: Yeah, and it was less like hiding myself from anything
2:58
Speaker 5: more so like not knowing how to.
3:00
Speaker 2: Not be ostracized. I mean, yeah, so.
3:04
Speaker 3: Also you got to control your holes regardless of their
3:06
Speaker 3: men and women, because who the hell was recording?
3:08
Speaker 5: You mean, if you listen to the album, If you
3:13
Speaker 5: listen to the album, I go into a great amount
3:16
Speaker 5: of detail about where I was at and the influences
3:21
Speaker 5: I was under. Yeah, a lot of I was on
3:26
Speaker 5: everything under the sun. But that's no excuse for the behavior.
3:30
Speaker 5: But and that's the main thing for me, was like,
3:33
Speaker 5: I'm responsible for myself, responsible for my family and all
3:36
Speaker 5: that type of shit. And that's that's only if I
3:38
Speaker 5: have any great of anything. It's just like not being
3:42
Speaker 5: ahead of it because I thought about talking about this
3:43
Speaker 5: stuff on my last album, because all that tape shit
3:46
Speaker 5: happened before the last.
3:47
Speaker 1: Album came out, before Houses Brow.
3:49
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's why, Like on this album, I talk about
3:53
Speaker 5: how I wasn't being honest with I guess what I
3:55
Speaker 5: owe the most like is my audience because they seem
3:58
Speaker 5: to love me pretty genuinely.
4:00
Speaker 1: I don't like what things like that happened to people.
4:02
Speaker 3: And I'll tell you why, because I feel like, you know,
4:04
Speaker 3: your personal life is yours to unpack when you want
4:09
Speaker 3: to unpack it. Yeah, And I think sometimes when things
4:11
Speaker 3: like that happen, you know publicly, you're forced to try
4:15
Speaker 3: to explain things when you may not be ready to
4:16
Speaker 3: explain them.
4:18
Speaker 5: I feel like I've always been under some type of
4:21
Speaker 5: divine guidance. I grew up in the church, and you know,
4:25
Speaker 5: I kind of grew out of wanting to go as much.
4:29
Speaker 5: But my life has definitely been led like I put it, like,
4:33
Speaker 5: I feel like it's purposeful. I feel like I'm an
4:35
Speaker 5: artist just to make money, Like I'm here to affect
4:40
Speaker 5: change in some type of way. So I feel like,
4:42
Speaker 5: you know, it happened, it was supposed to happen, and
4:45
Speaker 5: my life is better for it.
4:48
Speaker 1: Did that moment break you or free you? Or both?
4:51
Speaker 5: It's a little bit of both at the same time.
4:54
Speaker 5: You know, when anytime you don't get to control how
4:58
Speaker 5: you want to you know how you want to be,
5:03
Speaker 5: you perceived and again it was like me understanding again,
5:08
Speaker 5: like what was for the main thing was like what
5:10
Speaker 5: was masculinity to me? It made me confront a lot
5:13
Speaker 5: of stuff that I was saying about women and a
5:16
Speaker 5: lot of stuff, a lot of ways I was expressing
5:18
Speaker 5: myself that was really coming just from a place in insecurity.
5:22
Speaker 2: I mean, I feel like I've gotten.
5:24
Speaker 5: Loved myself a little better in my family man were
5:28
Speaker 5: way better open conversations.
5:29
Speaker 2: We were pretty open before, but that was like all
5:33
Speaker 2: on the table all the time.
5:34
Speaker 6: Had you had talked to your family, like your mom
5:36
Speaker 6: and different people before all of this stuff you were
5:38
Speaker 6: kind of dealing with it.
5:39
Speaker 1: Yeah.
5:39
Speaker 5: I definitely like my homeboys more than my mom. I
5:42
Speaker 5: talked to my homeboys about everything I was going through.
5:44
Speaker 5: So they were the ones who released like they was like,
5:46
Speaker 5: what the fuck.
5:46
Speaker 2: Are you doing? Like why are you you know?
5:49
Speaker 5: But they my homeboy was like they know everything about
5:51
Speaker 5: me my brothers.
5:52
Speaker 1: Yeah, oh so they knew beforehand.
5:54
Speaker 5: Yeah, you know, you have conversations on tour just in
5:58
Speaker 5: life and like especially when it was and all that
6:00
Speaker 5: type of stuff, you end up talking to your homeboys
6:02
Speaker 5: like I had to talk to you about and they
6:04
Speaker 5: be like all right, And so when you like that,
6:07
Speaker 5: it's more so.
6:09
Speaker 2: You no respect my own privacy to my life.
6:12
Speaker 5: It was just being irresponsible with you know, being under
6:15
Speaker 5: this shit and allowing things to go out.
6:17
Speaker 3: My only thing was why you had to let doctor
6:18
Speaker 3: Wumar down though, why they had to be white, Like what.
6:22
Speaker 1: Are you talking about on the table? I saw?
6:25
Speaker 2: How can I I don't know doctor who? I probably
6:27
Speaker 2: will fuck with me anyway. Respect.
6:35
Speaker 3: Do you feel like the culture gave you grace or
6:37
Speaker 3: you forced to heal in public whether you wanted to.
6:40
Speaker 3: I feel like, if you listen to my music on
6:43
Speaker 3: the back half of it, it's always been kind of fluid,
6:48
Speaker 3: you know, it's always been pretty emotionally emotional, emotional and romantic,
6:54
Speaker 3: and you know, and everything that wrap usually isn't.
6:58
Speaker 5: On the front on the front, on the front out
7:00
Speaker 5: of it. Yeah, so I feel like it was prepared
7:02
Speaker 5: for it. I live on the pre whimsical life anyway
7:05
Speaker 5: how people perceive me, you know. So I feel like
7:07
Speaker 5: the only people who are upset with people who viewed
7:11
Speaker 5: me just because I'm like, I don't know how to
7:15
Speaker 5: put it, like more feminine, that they were surprised and
7:18
Speaker 5: that was the whole deconstruction thing, Like what does that
7:21
Speaker 5: mean to mean?
7:22
Speaker 3: Yeah, did it make you realize that the illuminati not real?
7:26
Speaker 3: Because you know, they say, when you're getting the industry,
7:27
Speaker 3: you got to do strange things and then.
7:29
Speaker 1: You blow up. They told me, me, like Drake level
7:32
Speaker 1: of that's the case.
7:33
Speaker 5: I heard it. I passed my own humiliation. They told me,
7:38
Speaker 5: I got another ten years of that, so you know, I.
7:44
Speaker 1: Love the abnormal record too.
7:46
Speaker 3: What I'm saying, because you talk about how your whole
7:47
Speaker 3: family with sex addicts, and I don't think.
7:50
Speaker 2: We don't have enough to listen to this ship.
7:53
Speaker 1: Have you here to talk to you about it?
7:57
Speaker 2: No? No, that's that's cold. That's that was important. That's
7:59
Speaker 2: a poort record for.
8:00
Speaker 3: Me because I feel like we don't have enough conversations
8:03
Speaker 3: about environment and how environment shapes us.
8:07
Speaker 1: Men don't have enough conversations about their.
8:08
Speaker 3: Formative years and how those formative years turn us into
8:12
Speaker 3: the people that we becoming.
8:13
Speaker 1: Sometimes you got to unlearn a lot of that.
8:15
Speaker 2: You know, that's.
8:17
Speaker 5: Been the heaviest thing like and to do it without blaming,
8:21
Speaker 5: to do it and realize that the men that should
8:26
Speaker 5: take me to go cheat on their wives or whatever
8:31
Speaker 5: that would I would call, you know, my uncles or whomever,
8:33
Speaker 5: and my dad or whatever. They when I look at
8:37
Speaker 5: their fathers and the lack of their lives, it's like
8:41
Speaker 5: I can't I can only be so upset, you know
8:44
Speaker 5: what I'm saying. I could take what happened to me
8:47
Speaker 5: in the past or what I saw, but I got
8:50
Speaker 5: to be responsible for that and I got to give
8:52
Speaker 5: them grace because you know they a lot of them
8:55
Speaker 5: don't have the same opportunities to see the world and
8:57
Speaker 5: experience it as open as I am to have the growth,
9:00
Speaker 5: So you know, it's my responsibility to at least give
9:03
Speaker 5: them that. What's crazy is you talking to you talk
9:05
Speaker 5: on the record about how when you were twelve, you know,
9:07
Speaker 5: they said you want to see some nazzy shit, and
9:09
Speaker 5: your daddy kept your stash and they basically was showing
9:10
Speaker 5: you things.
9:11
Speaker 1: A lot of times guys.
9:12
Speaker 3: Showed the sons that, yeah, because they don't want their
9:15
Speaker 3: sons to end up, Yeah.
9:16
Speaker 5: You end up hyper hyper sexualizing your kid and a
9:20
Speaker 5: fearful preventative type of thing make them worse.
9:23
Speaker 3: Lokey, did y'all have So when you finally when you
9:26
Speaker 3: came out, did you have a conversation with those men
9:29
Speaker 3: that introduced you to that.
9:31
Speaker 5: They my uncle passed my I don't really talk to
9:34
Speaker 5: my dad, so no, but I talked to the men
9:37
Speaker 5: who's still in my life about it, and luckily most
9:40
Speaker 5: of them are pretty positive influences. But it was good
9:43
Speaker 5: to let's talk about what happened two people all look
9:47
Speaker 5: up to.
9:47
Speaker 6: Did they understand when you went back like having that
9:50
Speaker 6: conversation are they understanding or are they just positive because.
9:52
Speaker 5: They know only just knew, like they know exactly, but
9:56
Speaker 5: they were like, this isn't that surprising?
9:58
Speaker 4: Yeah?
10:00
Speaker 1: What did this experience teach you about masculinity?
10:04
Speaker 3: Especially in a genre that rewards a certain image of
10:06
Speaker 3: what a man is supposed to be?
10:08
Speaker 1: It's what did it teach me?
10:13
Speaker 2: I guess?
10:14
Speaker 5: Like the most characteristics that are pushed are like negative,
10:22
Speaker 5: you know, the promiscuous nature and how that's promoted, and
10:28
Speaker 5: being cold. Being a good dad isn't like promoted. Being
10:32
Speaker 5: like responsible isn't promoted. Being a leader of your community
10:38
Speaker 5: without having to without getting the accolades is being a leader.
10:44
Speaker 5: The emotion and how you treat people, that's not really there.
10:48
Speaker 5: And real men cry, real men, you know what I mean?
10:51
Speaker 5: Real men cry, real men feel things, and women question themselves.
10:55
Speaker 5: But to go through life is like just sure of
10:57
Speaker 5: yourself and being coming off invincible could just lead a
11:03
Speaker 5: kid down the wrong way feeling like he gotta insulate
11:05
Speaker 5: himself in that type of character, you know what I mean?
11:08
Speaker 3: So yeah, so what are your super powers? That's another
11:11
Speaker 3: record I like on.
11:12
Speaker 5: That man, I got crazy empathy and as somebody who's
11:19
Speaker 5: who's in constant recovery. Like I said, I mess up.
11:23
Speaker 5: I'm not perfect. Nobody know a.
11:27
Speaker 2: Junkie like a junkie bro, Man, I feel like that's
11:30
Speaker 2: what I'm here for.
11:32
Speaker 1: You feel like you was a junkie method.
11:34
Speaker 5: I go to AA and ship bro, And I'm comfortable
11:37
Speaker 5: with being called a junkie from another junkie. Don't You
11:40
Speaker 5: don't If you ain't never did drugs, I'll talk to
11:42
Speaker 5: me about it. But if you are alcoholic, like just
11:45
Speaker 5: because I drink today, I'm still alcoholic, Like you know
11:48
Speaker 5: what I mean, That is gonna stay with me for
11:49
Speaker 5: the rest of my life. And this is how I'm
11:51
Speaker 5: genetically built too, you know what I mean. From a family, Yeah,
11:55
Speaker 5: I'm already you know, predisposed to it.
11:58
Speaker 1: My mom's telling me that all the time.
11:59
Speaker 3: My Mom's all tell me and my brother watch that
12:01
Speaker 3: alcohol because alcoholism runs in both sides of your family.
12:05
Speaker 4: Seeing that to me too and my grandma, and it's
12:07
Speaker 4: an alcoholic.
12:07
Speaker 6: I tried to be a lot more disciplined now, like
12:12
Speaker 6: I do challenge myself, like i'll fast, I'll set days
12:15
Speaker 6: and times just to make sure that I can control
12:17
Speaker 6: it a bit. Because you get to like socially doing
12:20
Speaker 6: it so much, and then you start depending on it
12:22
Speaker 6: for certain things like oh, I got to take a
12:23
Speaker 6: shot before I do this, And and then once you
12:26
Speaker 6: get around people that will call it out like he
12:28
Speaker 6: be on me. And then I started to notice like,
12:29
Speaker 6: all right, well, let me try and challenge myself to
12:31
Speaker 6: like not because I would come in here in the
12:32
Speaker 6: morning and be like, y'all need like two shots before
12:34
Speaker 6: the show start, just to feel like.
12:37
Speaker 4: It wouldn't give two you know what I mean?
12:39
Speaker 6: But even like I'm thinking about college, like we would
12:41
Speaker 6: drink before we went to class, was a drink too,
12:43
Speaker 6: and I thought that it was regular because it's college.
12:44
Speaker 4: And then you get in real life.
12:45
Speaker 2: And you like, the college ain't real real life.
12:48
Speaker 4: It's like a simulator.
12:49
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a bubble. Yeah. I felt the same way
12:53
Speaker 2: on So.
12:54
Speaker 3: What do you think you were trying to run from
12:57
Speaker 3: our escape when you was getting drunk?
12:58
Speaker 1: Like what was you numbing yourself to something?
13:00
Speaker 2: Yeah? Definitely, man, I got without.
13:02
Speaker 5: You know, I don't like going down the list of stuff,
13:04
Speaker 5: but you know, I have unresolved parental stuff on both ends,
13:09
Speaker 5: like respect to my relationship and my mom. We still
13:11
Speaker 5: have stuff to work out and you know, just my
13:15
Speaker 5: father and stuff. I feel I don't like getting too
13:18
Speaker 5: heavy into it in my thirties, I'm like handle that
13:21
Speaker 5: versus complaining about that.
13:22
Speaker 2: I complaining, yeah, but that you know, and then just
13:25
Speaker 2: substance going from college.
13:27
Speaker 5: I mean it like I got signed when I was
13:29
Speaker 5: twenty one, so and getting signed and getting thrust into
13:34
Speaker 5: this world, especially then they're in the blog Eraro was
13:36
Speaker 5: just and partying was normal like we used to in college.
13:40
Speaker 2: We used to drink ever Clear and set it on
13:42
Speaker 2: no fun.
13:44
Speaker 6: So that was a challenge when you first got to
13:46
Speaker 6: my college, Like if you could drink it, you get
13:48
Speaker 6: through it.
13:49
Speaker 4: Your first Thursday Thursday like you had.
13:50
Speaker 2: It was kind of like.
13:53
Speaker 1: Just hearing the word of a clear.
13:55
Speaker 2: He was doing that, we was doing that. And what
13:58
Speaker 2: school you go to? MTSU State University.
14:03
Speaker 4: I was so off of that.
14:04
Speaker 6: Right on super Power, I mean that's happy hour, that's
14:07
Speaker 6: the you do like the radio skit, right, So you
14:10
Speaker 6: do the radio skit, do you talk about your addiction?
14:12
Speaker 6: You talk about your mom and how she's like crying
14:14
Speaker 6: and still not helping, And are you tell me if
14:17
Speaker 6: I'm wrong? Are you comparing what you're experiencing in the
14:20
Speaker 6: entertainment industry, like that being your escapism, but then also
14:24
Speaker 6: comparing that to like drug use being your escapism too,
14:26
Speaker 6: and how both of them are kind of like feeding
14:28
Speaker 6: the fire. Happy yeah, because I thought, I'm like, why
14:30
Speaker 6: bring in why started with like the radio and like
14:33
Speaker 6: the you know, unless you're signaling.
14:35
Speaker 2: Like, oh I just be making shit.
14:37
Speaker 4: Oh okay, yeah, I just.
14:38
Speaker 5: Be making stuff. A lot of stuff that I do
14:40
Speaker 5: isn't necessarily like planned. It just I have patterns that
14:45
Speaker 5: I recognize and I'm like, well, this does sound good
14:47
Speaker 5: on the same project together. But the radio theme was
14:51
Speaker 5: just something I wanted to do in your way.
14:52
Speaker 4: I've always interested because I heard that part and then
14:54
Speaker 4: not just the name of it. I'm like, it's because it's.
14:57
Speaker 5: Not to cut you off, but it's because of the variety.
15:00
Speaker 5: And the album is like to set it up thematical
15:03
Speaker 5: because I don't really do concept album, but it's like
15:07
Speaker 5: it's an underground RadioU it's a smortgage board of different
15:09
Speaker 5: kinds of science. So it was like that and it's
15:12
Speaker 5: just something. It set me up pretty good. When I
15:15
Speaker 5: heard the beat doing that, It's easy for me to
15:18
Speaker 5: come up with.
15:19
Speaker 4: How is Mom. You talk a lot about her on
15:20
Speaker 4: the album, but you start out, I know she's on that.
15:22
Speaker 5: She she just she just went back to Tennessee. She
15:26
Speaker 5: was out Cali with me last week. She's working with
15:29
Speaker 5: special needs kids.
15:32
Speaker 2: We're good man.
15:33
Speaker 1: I love the acronym you have for mom, Man on
15:36
Speaker 1: the Mission? Right?
15:37
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, yeah, exactly who made me think you got adam?
15:44
Speaker 2: I'll be writing this. I'll be I write the ship man.
15:47
Speaker 2: I just be doing it in passing. It's writing.
15:49
Speaker 3: It's just the kind of second nature for me. Why
15:51
Speaker 3: that acronym? Why you you're the man on the Mission?
15:54
Speaker 3: Why is that Mom? I just thought it was cool.
15:57
Speaker 2: It's now even I guess I can make it. But
16:00
Speaker 2: it was just cool. And I was the first verse.
16:03
Speaker 5: I kind of talked about my mom a little bit,
16:05
Speaker 5: so it was like that, and I just started it
16:07
Speaker 5: look cooler.
16:07
Speaker 2: Than Man on the Mission.
16:08
Speaker 1: Do you have a deep mother womb?
16:11
Speaker 2: No, not like deep. I think it's I empathize with
16:15
Speaker 2: my mom's desire to have changed her life at some
16:19
Speaker 2: point where like when she see what we we do,
16:22
Speaker 2: or like my brother produced most of this album, right,
16:28
Speaker 2: he produced half of it. I empathized with her desire to.
16:35
Speaker 5: You know, she kind of I know she wished she
16:37
Speaker 5: could have done different things after especially after sameing what
16:40
Speaker 5: we've been capable of doing with this determination. So I
16:43
Speaker 5: empathize on that I wouldn't to have like a crazy
16:45
Speaker 5: mother woman. I have a desire to take care of her,
16:47
Speaker 5: though more than I I used to. I didn't used
16:50
Speaker 5: to feel like I needed to besides like helping pay
16:53
Speaker 5: bills that I needed.
16:54
Speaker 2: To take care of, but now I do. I feel
16:57
Speaker 2: like it's my responsibility to take care on his ride with.
17:00
Speaker 1: Who took care of you the last five years?
17:03
Speaker 2: Him my sober buddy.
17:07
Speaker 1: Hmm? Was it what else kept you away? Or were
17:12
Speaker 1: you just working the whole time?
17:13
Speaker 5: I was working the first like after we put out
17:16
Speaker 5: you know what happened, like right when I put out
17:17
Speaker 5: the album, like right right after I was still in
17:20
Speaker 5: the rotation of a creative drought to an extent, but
17:25
Speaker 5: it definitely like refueled me to just talk about my ship,
17:29
Speaker 5: every aspect of it.
17:31
Speaker 1: How did how did your team at t D show
17:33
Speaker 1: show up you during that time?
17:35
Speaker 2: Brandon was just like, don't start wearing purses. That was it.
17:40
Speaker 2: He was like he was like a lady nigga.
17:42
Speaker 5: Just don't don't come up here wearing persons. I got
17:46
Speaker 5: a big as back there, right, yeah, I still but
17:50
Speaker 5: you know who am I?
17:51
Speaker 2: I can't speak on straight ship? You mean?
17:53
Speaker 1: I mean, how about you are? I mean, I don't know, man,
17:59
Speaker 1: I don't know.
17:59
Speaker 5: I feel like I feel like I much like you know,
18:01
Speaker 5: like a ship, like if the like if you brought
18:04
Speaker 5: a ship and then you change the sale and you
18:07
Speaker 5: change the floor and then you change the fucking metal
18:12
Speaker 5: in it, is it the same ship?
18:14
Speaker 3: I don't think that's what you bright. I think you
18:16
Speaker 3: can be in the ship, but it's a different path.
18:18
Speaker 3: So you can be going straight, then you're off to
18:20
Speaker 3: the left a little bit when you want.
18:21
Speaker 2: To feel like I am?
18:22
Speaker 5: I am My experience this more than anything, you know,
18:26
Speaker 5: same thing with anything.
18:27
Speaker 1: The reason I asked about TV because Q was on
18:29
Speaker 1: the album Real Brief right.
18:31
Speaker 2: No, No, he not Listen, we just did heavily promotion.
18:34
Speaker 4: No, who's that Q?
18:37
Speaker 3: I swear I thought you said Q at some point. No, brother, Oh,
18:41
Speaker 3: I don't know why I thought that was Q.
18:43
Speaker 5: Okay, okay, Q not on it, but he was supporting.
18:46
Speaker 5: He was talking to me the whole time about it.
18:48
Speaker 1: Did they make jokes.
18:49
Speaker 5: No, they're pretty they kind of know where to draw
18:52
Speaker 5: the line. Yeah, Matt, probably will next time I see him,
18:57
Speaker 5: you know, top.
18:59
Speaker 2: Dude, top of fun with you about to be saying,
19:05
Speaker 2: I can't quote that man.
19:06
Speaker 5: Okay, you just say, keep your hand out the cookie jar.
19:11
Speaker 5: I'll leave it at that, all right, just keep your
19:14
Speaker 5: hand out.
19:16
Speaker 1: I get you.
19:16
Speaker 6: Yeah, I was trying to understand on their mind maybe
19:20
Speaker 6: if you know, you know, okay, all right, okay, mhm, nothing,
19:29
Speaker 6: I had nothing.
19:30
Speaker 1: You're making this awkward, man, if you got a question
19:33
Speaker 1: to ask the man? The man here to have a
19:34
Speaker 1: competion cookie jar.
19:35
Speaker 4: I thought cookies was for like the ladies.
19:38
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I.
19:40
Speaker 1: Thought she had something serious.
19:42
Speaker 6: I'm keeping out of the cookie jars. But they always
19:44
Speaker 6: be like the cookie, like the you know, but why
19:46
Speaker 6: you can't be there?
19:47
Speaker 2: You like cookies do?
19:49
Speaker 6: That's what I was trying to say. And I don't
19:51
Speaker 6: understand why you can't have your hand in the cookie jar.
19:53
Speaker 2: Then just don't be greedy.
19:55
Speaker 5: Don't be greedy, don't be out here doing it, put
19:57
Speaker 5: yourself in a compromised situations just.
19:59
Speaker 4: Because you because you are who you are.
20:01
Speaker 5: Faded in horny, just like told you.
20:06
Speaker 4: But you don't be faded like that. No more right
20:08
Speaker 4: because you.
20:09
Speaker 2: No, no, but it's still you know, yeah, add it?
20:13
Speaker 5: Man, I'd be having to talk to people every day
20:16
Speaker 5: and fucking like do a lot of personal maintenance. That
20:20
Speaker 5: was another thing about even doing like the media stuff.
20:22
Speaker 5: There was like I didn't want to sound like a
20:23
Speaker 5: broken record, but I did lot. Last time I did
20:26
Speaker 5: my media stuff, I did act like I was fucking okay,
20:29
Speaker 5: and I wasn't.
20:30
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, but that's what I mean about having a
20:33
Speaker 3: heal in public, Like I don't think that's fair to anybody.
20:36
Speaker 2: But like Prince said, like you signed up for.
20:39
Speaker 1: This, did you go?
20:40
Speaker 2: I don't know you did.
20:43
Speaker 5: I mean just because you didn't know, you didn't do
20:45
Speaker 5: all the studying that you were supposed to do.
20:47
Speaker 2: You know it could and couldn't happen. You signed up
20:49
Speaker 2: for it, but.
20:50
Speaker 6: I don't know if you could study enough to avoid
20:52
Speaker 6: what happened to you because you were in a different
20:54
Speaker 6: space like you are. You're you know, you're doing you're
20:56
Speaker 6: doing drugs, you're doing any different things, so you're not
20:58
Speaker 6: thinking as like straight as you.
21:00
Speaker 5: You're still responsible for yourself. Yeah, regardless, you're still responsible
21:04
Speaker 5: for you.
21:05
Speaker 3: I think about how so many of our greats probably
21:08
Speaker 3: died depressed, you know, dealing with high levels of anxiety,
21:13
Speaker 3: probably driven to do more drugs and more drinks because
21:16
Speaker 3: they couldn't be free to.
21:17
Speaker 1: Be who they were.
21:18
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think that's more of a prison than anything.
21:22
Speaker 3: I think that's more of an indictment of us than
21:23
Speaker 3: it is them.
21:25
Speaker 5: It's you know, man, the black spaces are so at
21:29
Speaker 5: their best, like so beautiful and so celebratory of everybody.
21:36
Speaker 5: At the same time, there are pretty rigid rules. It's
21:42
Speaker 5: pretty archaic stuff then, you know, and nobody wants to
21:45
Speaker 5: be ostracized, you know, at the end of it, I
21:48
Speaker 5: think that's really it, and we just we slow to
21:51
Speaker 5: change on the front. But black people, it's a million
21:56
Speaker 5: versions of us with community.
21:58
Speaker 2: And with love. I feel like it's just the mainstream
22:01
Speaker 2: idea of black that takes a while.
22:04
Speaker 4: You were when everything happened.
22:06
Speaker 6: You were in a relationship at the time, right, are
22:08
Speaker 6: you still in a relationship now?
22:10
Speaker 2: I'm talking about my personal life.
22:11
Speaker 4: You were getting real personal.
22:13
Speaker 2: Talking about by dating it all? No more, I get you.
22:17
Speaker 6: I'm only I was only wondering because at the time
22:19
Speaker 6: when it happened, I just wondered how it affected.
22:21
Speaker 5: Oh man, she was pissed. Yeah, she was just pissed
22:26
Speaker 5: that it was out. She was like what, like, why
22:29
Speaker 5: are you recording that ship? And I'm like, I didn't
22:31
Speaker 5: even remember that ship?
22:33
Speaker 2: D Yeah, I was sitting there. You ever been to Zaxbyes. Yeah?
22:37
Speaker 2: I was sitting.
22:38
Speaker 6: Yeah.
22:38
Speaker 2: I was sitting in his eating a chicken salad and
22:41
Speaker 2: a fry. Don't know why I was eating together?
22:43
Speaker 1: That made you do all that?
22:45
Speaker 2: No, Matt, No, that's when it happened. Matt. He called me.
22:51
Speaker 2: I was I'm sitting eating a chicken salad and he's like,
22:53
Speaker 2: don't go online.
22:54
Speaker 5: I'm like what And him and top facetimed me together,
22:58
Speaker 5: and that's very rare.
23:00
Speaker 2: I'm like, what do you mean?
23:02
Speaker 5: So I went and I was like, oh, but it
23:07
Speaker 5: was I mean, I don't know, bro, I'm pretty I
23:09
Speaker 5: pretty accept things. But the most part, outside of my
23:12
Speaker 5: initial reaction of like what am I gonna do, it
23:17
Speaker 5: was like, well, I fucking my bread.
23:19
Speaker 2: I'd be straight all right.
23:22
Speaker 1: I mean, as listen, you weren't committing a crime. You
23:25
Speaker 1: just had your think.
23:28
Speaker 5: That's another thing about our community. It felt like a
23:32
Speaker 5: crime to some people.
23:33
Speaker 2: Like, so you know what am I to do with that?
23:36
Speaker 1: Did people?
23:37
Speaker 3: Did the industry treat you different after that moment or
23:39
Speaker 3: was it just behind the scenes, was as business as usual?
23:42
Speaker 5: No, I ain't seen nobody in five years, you know
23:45
Speaker 5: on like industry things. I do these rounds and then
23:47
Speaker 5: I kind of go be a little comfortable afterwards. So
23:50
Speaker 5: you know, I couldn't tell no difference. Yeah, everybody sent
23:54
Speaker 5: the verses back. The want no difference on that.
23:57
Speaker 4: You know, you mentioned your money didn't mess up money
23:59
Speaker 4: at all.
23:59
Speaker 2: During I don't think so we're we're straight. Let's talk.
24:04
Speaker 1: Let's talk about that.
24:05
Speaker 3: Being from the country, because I'm from South Carolina, I
24:06
Speaker 3: don't think people give us credit for how progressive we
24:09
Speaker 3: can be.
24:09
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know what I'm saying.
24:10
Speaker 3: Of course you have your your closed minded people, but
24:13
Speaker 3: for the most part, everywhethm.
24:14
Speaker 1: Yeah, but for the most part, I'm sure you got
24:16
Speaker 1: love in the crypt hella love.
24:19
Speaker 5: It's it's way more fucking positive community and people like
24:26
Speaker 5: to think. And people in the country are just curious
24:30
Speaker 5: versus closed minded. They have a desire to leave, you know,
24:33
Speaker 5: people want to see stuff. People be proud of you
24:35
Speaker 5: when you go do some other shit we do to
24:38
Speaker 5: get a bad rep for that type of stuff.
24:40
Speaker 6: I think it's people think like slower, lower, like the
24:43
Speaker 6: lower you go, things like slow down, so like people.
24:46
Speaker 2: That just priority of work.
24:47
Speaker 5: I feel like in those places, you know, it's more
24:49
Speaker 5: grounded versus being slow.
24:52
Speaker 3: Is this album more of a crowd for help? Are
24:55
Speaker 3: a message of resilience?
24:57
Speaker 2: A message of resilience for sure, But.
24:59
Speaker 5: It's just for my junkies out there in my addicts
25:01
Speaker 5: and my or my people going through any of that
25:03
Speaker 5: type of stuff.
25:04
Speaker 2: It's a hug. It's my it's my hug back. Like
25:07
Speaker 2: you know what I'm saying.
25:07
Speaker 5: I appreciate y'all sending messages and sending mail and stopping
25:14
Speaker 5: me in the store. And the weirdest when, the funniest
25:18
Speaker 5: one is when you when when an older dude to
25:20
Speaker 5: come up to me and target and be like, worry
25:23
Speaker 5: about the people, man, And I'm like, I'm just looking.
25:25
Speaker 1: For socks, but.
25:28
Speaker 2: Thanks, you know what I mean.
25:29
Speaker 5: It's like that, But this is my music, is my
25:31
Speaker 5: opportunity to hug people, you know what I mean. It's
25:33
Speaker 5: the closest I can get to like ministry.
25:36
Speaker 1: Do I look high? That is that a feeling you've
25:39
Speaker 1: you felt before?
25:41
Speaker 2: Do I look hor right now? Yeah?
25:48
Speaker 5: I mean that was That was probably the the most
25:51
Speaker 5: personal one for me about everything I was going through.
25:55
Speaker 5: Was it tough to write, No, it was refreshing anytime.
25:59
Speaker 5: I don't have a problem writing like honest stuff. I
26:02
Speaker 5: have a harder problem just occupying space with bullshit.
26:07
Speaker 2: I mean, being honest is easy.
26:09
Speaker 1: And that's that's what I got from the album.
26:11
Speaker 3: When I'm listening to the album, I'm like, he got
26:14
Speaker 3: a lot more issues than that sex thing, like not
26:17
Speaker 3: even it's really not really an issue, but you got
26:21
Speaker 3: a lot of other things going on.
26:23
Speaker 1: You know, you reference your sister a lot. Yes, I couldn't.
26:26
Speaker 1: I didn't understand is she missing? She was?
26:29
Speaker 2: She wasn't jail.
26:31
Speaker 5: She got out recently, but she was going for the
26:34
Speaker 5: past like four or five years. And I ain't realize
26:36
Speaker 5: how much like not being able to talk to my
26:38
Speaker 5: sister on that level would be, and especially talking to
26:42
Speaker 5: her when she's in a pretty down situation, and like
26:45
Speaker 5: it's hard for me to be like she's going great,
26:50
Speaker 5: who were going whatever? When she's not doing well. That
26:52
Speaker 5: was that was a big part of it, and having
26:55
Speaker 5: my connection with my sister despite like my relationship with
26:57
Speaker 5: my dadd is super important.
27:00
Speaker 3: What did I mean? You've always been open about your
27:03
Speaker 3: your mental health as well? What did what does? What
27:05
Speaker 3: did rock Bottom actually look like you? Even after everything
27:10
Speaker 3: happened with.
27:10
Speaker 5: Man going to shout out to the people at THUMBA
27:13
Speaker 5: McMillan and Torrance, I went to outpatient for about a year,
27:18
Speaker 5: So it was like that, it was That's what it
27:20
Speaker 5: looked like for me. It was building myself back up
27:22
Speaker 5: and just learning to love myself and realizing like the
27:27
Speaker 5: reloving myself, realizing the only thing I did wrong was
27:31
Speaker 5: how I did it.
27:33
Speaker 2: Or how it was like behaving.
27:34
Speaker 5: Of course the substance issues, but who I am is
27:38
Speaker 5: the problem. It's just sometimes how you do it ain't.
27:40
Speaker 6: Right on h do I Look how you talk about
27:44
Speaker 6: loving yourself and somebody saying to you, maybe you saying
27:46
Speaker 6: to yourself, but don't do it too much, don't love
27:48
Speaker 6: yourself too much.
27:50
Speaker 5: Love yourself, but don't do too much like you know
27:52
Speaker 5: what I'm saying, don't don't like, don't go overboard with
27:57
Speaker 5: all this ship. Basically really just don't get fucked up
28:01
Speaker 5: just because you in a in a zone of trying
28:06
Speaker 5: to immediately numb out and and and you know catched
28:10
Speaker 5: that euphoria.
28:11
Speaker 2: You know, it's more it's on that type of zone.
28:14
Speaker 5: Just don't do too much, don't don't overdrink, don't overdo it,
28:17
Speaker 5: don't over ego.
28:19
Speaker 2: Just don't do too much over ego.
28:20
Speaker 3: It is very important, very important. People don't talk about
28:23
Speaker 3: the ego enough. There's a great book I love that.
28:25
Speaker 3: I actually recommended that Everybody called Ego Is the Enemy
28:28
Speaker 3: by Ryan Holliday. No for real, It's a really really
28:33
Speaker 3: good read. What did you learn about your ego in
28:36
Speaker 3: that moment? Because that's it feels like the ego would
28:39
Speaker 3: be completely script away from you in that moment.
28:42
Speaker 5: What I learned about my ego in that moment, shit
28:46
Speaker 5: that it had like balloon to the point that my
28:50
Speaker 5: safety wasn't a priority.
28:53
Speaker 1: You thought you could get away with anything, man.
28:56
Speaker 5: And I was just being a trashy person really honestly,
29:01
Speaker 5: like being on all that type of shit and oversharing myself.
29:05
Speaker 2: Like I pray for.
29:08
Speaker 5: Anybody I've trespassed on in the past in those moments,
29:12
Speaker 5: anybody I've offended in that like not being myself, and
29:17
Speaker 5: I appreciate the grace that those people in my life
29:19
Speaker 5: have given me you know what I'm saying, and forgiveness.
29:22
Speaker 6: Is there a balance between giving yourself grace for that
29:24
Speaker 6: too personally though, because like how much of that also
29:26
Speaker 6: is like addiction versus like who you actually show up
29:28
Speaker 6: to be you once you get through.
29:29
Speaker 5: I feel like you got to go through the process
29:32
Speaker 5: of recovery and just again like seeking therapy to forgive yourself,
29:40
Speaker 5: you know, and you gotta understand you.
29:42
Speaker 2: You got to understand it.
29:44
Speaker 5: That kind of is still a possible version of you.
29:48
Speaker 5: You know what you're saying, So I don't feel like
29:51
Speaker 5: you just separate that from the person. You gotta be
29:54
Speaker 5: aware of, like how bad you can get?
29:57
Speaker 3: When did you get to the nutting hide phase of
30:00
Speaker 3: the story? That's another great song on that man.
30:04
Speaker 5: Honestly, bro Doci's Denial is a Is a River made
30:09
Speaker 5: me really think about how I was, Like, I guess
30:15
Speaker 5: it was like lion Bio mission to just I feel
30:21
Speaker 5: like I can't just be honest with my homeboy and
30:23
Speaker 5: be honest with this girl that I'm dating and knows everything.
30:27
Speaker 5: I'm like, if my superpower is being honest all the time.
30:30
Speaker 5: To go back to what she said, it's more of that.
30:34
Speaker 3: You remember that Denialogan and you know the song, but
30:36
Speaker 3: you know where that came from. That came from Wendy Williamshaw.
30:39
Speaker 1: I was there. I was her co host.
30:41
Speaker 2: I know that.
30:41
Speaker 3: And this guy, this guy, this woman called in to
30:44
Speaker 3: say that her boyfriend was on the download, but she
30:49
Speaker 3: wasn't really accepting it.
30:50
Speaker 1: So Wendy told.
30:51
Speaker 3: Her he's gay, he's homosexual, he likes guys.
30:55
Speaker 1: Basically accepted.
30:56
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's easier for your out, for your for your
30:59
Speaker 5: mental just accept with the front of.
31:02
Speaker 1: I love to see.
31:03
Speaker 3: I love the story you telling on this album, right,
31:05
Speaker 3: because to go from the new Sublime, the mom the
31:07
Speaker 3: same shit boys and superficial scared to look down happy hour?
31:10
Speaker 1: Do all look high?
31:11
Speaker 3: Ain't giving up? Get to know you, cameras act normal,
31:13
Speaker 3: tense states away, then nothing to high. Then once you
31:17
Speaker 3: free yourself, you got a super power.
31:19
Speaker 1: Yeah that's ill, thank you. I mean, of course that's intentional.
31:22
Speaker 5: Yeah, I got I got helped from from Matt and
31:25
Speaker 5: Musa and shit, from what I'm understanding, Dot had a
31:29
Speaker 5: hand in it and Top. They definitely convinced me to
31:33
Speaker 5: go go with this track was my track was originally
31:35
Speaker 5: was more centered around the radio thing.
31:39
Speaker 4: Okay.
31:39
Speaker 5: I was kind of like I wrote everything, but I
31:43
Speaker 5: was still trying to put it in a way if
31:45
Speaker 5: you listen to it, you could either hear it or.
31:49
Speaker 2: I guess that was mine.
31:50
Speaker 4: You wanted to dumb it down for people.
31:52
Speaker 2: I guess I was just afraid of being so blunt.
31:54
Speaker 4: I feel like you weren't really as blunt.
31:56
Speaker 6: I mean you were blunt, but I still feel like
31:58
Speaker 6: I had to listen to it like twice before, like
32:00
Speaker 6: some of the stuff you put it in there very subtlely,
32:02
Speaker 6: or like it's like a backtrack while you're saying other things, so.
32:04
Speaker 4: You got to hear it real. I feel like people
32:06
Speaker 4: still really have to listen to you read it.
32:10
Speaker 5: If you read it, I was very intentional, and we
32:14
Speaker 5: got the lyrics in places.
32:15
Speaker 2: If you read it, it's right there. It's real, bold
32:19
Speaker 2: and blunt.
32:19
Speaker 6: If I thought it was great, though, I feel like
32:22
Speaker 6: we went on to journey to you, because when I
32:23
Speaker 6: first started listening to it, I was like, this is
32:25
Speaker 6: so dark, and like I just want him to be okay,
32:27
Speaker 6: and it's he okay, is Mom okay? His sister okay?
32:30
Speaker 6: And then by the end of it, like once you
32:32
Speaker 6: get to get to know you. It's like now you
32:34
Speaker 6: can vibe a little bit and like, I don't know,
32:35
Speaker 6: like it not uplift, but like the music physically like changes.
32:40
Speaker 2: It goes through a wave. Yeah.
32:42
Speaker 1: But also you'd be shocked how many people don't know
32:45
Speaker 1: what happened.
32:45
Speaker 5: Bro, Yeah, you know what I'm saying. So, which is
32:48
Speaker 5: I fuck with people? Mind in their own fucking business.
32:51
Speaker 5: I'm not mad at that. I'm never mad at that
32:53
Speaker 5: type of shit, you know. And it's like, that's not
32:56
Speaker 5: my identity. This is something that happened. For like, the
33:01
Speaker 5: how I behave with it determines more than anything else.
33:04
Speaker 3: That's a great way I always tell people, don't let
33:05
Speaker 3: your set back become your identity. It's a lot of
33:08
Speaker 3: people who have a I don't even know if you
33:10
Speaker 3: would call it a setback.
33:11
Speaker 1: It was just something. It was an unfortunate situation for
33:13
Speaker 1: me personally.
33:14
Speaker 2: This is the best project ever made.
33:16
Speaker 5: And if that ship would have happened, who knows if
33:21
Speaker 5: me and my brother would be working together in this capacity.
33:25
Speaker 5: Who knows if right now if I would probably be
33:29
Speaker 5: still sneaking a giga You know what I mean? I
33:32
Speaker 5: feel like I said, I feel like everything I do
33:33
Speaker 5: is by guy's hand, and that's why it happens.
33:37
Speaker 1: What did healing require from you that music alone couldn't fix?
33:44
Speaker 5: Man has a cutout being annoyed all sometimes and just
33:49
Speaker 5: you know, the one thing I gotta do is quit
33:51
Speaker 5: smoking weed. My my dude, my counselor is like you cool.
33:56
Speaker 5: But still if you cut that out, your risk factors lower.
34:01
Speaker 2: So it's just on that. You know, maintaining myself is.
34:05
Speaker 1: The main thing if we like a gateway other things.
34:08
Speaker 5: Not necessarily some people believe it is. I don't necessarily
34:12
Speaker 5: think it is, but I'm not a professional, you know.
34:16
Speaker 6: I was watching a sermon yesterday, temper Asso speaking at
34:19
Speaker 6: my church, and he has this book called The Missing Piece,
34:21
Speaker 6: and he was talking about like when you're in the
34:23
Speaker 6: midst of all of the noise and the drama and
34:25
Speaker 6: the chaos, a lot of the things you lean on
34:27
Speaker 6: to like settle you during that time become the vices
34:30
Speaker 6: that you should get away from.
34:31
Speaker 4: And people use weed to do that.
34:33
Speaker 2: It's a crutch.
34:33
Speaker 6: Yeah, And he was saying that, like we know that,
34:35
Speaker 6: like weed isn't like the end all be all, it's
34:37
Speaker 6: not horrible, but if it's something you're depending on like
34:40
Speaker 6: that that disrupts your piece because you don't get real
34:43
Speaker 6: peace until you can get past something.
34:44
Speaker 2: With similar to what you were saying about the social drinking.
34:49
Speaker 5: For me, it's like if I got to change my
34:52
Speaker 5: mental or my state of body to go be around people,
34:55
Speaker 5: I don't even need to be there, Like I don't
34:58
Speaker 5: need to be in that environment, and I haven't grown
35:01
Speaker 5: to the place that I'm ready to be there. Besides, like,
35:04
Speaker 5: you know the challenge you're going, But if I feel comfortable, no,
35:08
Speaker 5: drinking ain't gonna make it better. I'm gonna end up
35:10
Speaker 5: being friends with you for an hour and then forget
35:14
Speaker 5: about it. And then when I see you again, you're
35:17
Speaker 5: gonna have this energy that I can't match, you know.
35:21
Speaker 2: So it's like it's better just to be yourself.
35:23
Speaker 1: It is because and also I hate the anxiety of
35:25
Speaker 1: it all.
35:26
Speaker 3: I hate being around a bunch of people that I
35:27
Speaker 3: don't know, and my mind is like, what.
35:30
Speaker 1: Are they thinking about me? What do they know about me?
35:33
Speaker 1: You know what I mean?
35:34
Speaker 5: It's so crazy, and you know, like they you know
35:36
Speaker 5: you probably they're not even thinking, they're.
35:39
Speaker 2: Not even considering that. And just being in your mind
35:42
Speaker 2: that much as can be torturous.
35:45
Speaker 1: Tell me about boy and Red, which is shows you
35:49
Speaker 1: a lot of love.
35:50
Speaker 5: That's my sister man's boy Red Man. It's really that's
35:54
Speaker 5: another to beat my brother mate.
35:56
Speaker 2: But it was just some whimsical ship. It was some
35:58
Speaker 2: whimsical ship. And on top of that, I was really
36:00
Speaker 2: inspired by a princess if I.
36:02
Speaker 5: Was your girlfriend. That was another thing about the deconstruction.
36:06
Speaker 5: I was like, what does that mean for my relationship
36:07
Speaker 5: with women? Like how am I supposed to like treat
36:12
Speaker 5: them in a more compassionate I feel like being in
36:18
Speaker 5: this industry or just this period, it'll have you kind
36:26
Speaker 5: of using people, you know, even if it's just like
36:30
Speaker 5: for entertainment on some like I only fuck with you,
36:33
Speaker 5: We just gonna dates because you're cute or whatever type
36:35
Speaker 5: of shit. It made me really re examine how I
36:39
Speaker 5: treat people and with more not even with more compassion,
36:43
Speaker 5: but stop fucking people I don't really fuck with because
36:47
Speaker 5: I'm abusing them by doing that to a certain degree, right,
36:51
Speaker 5: because leading somebody on, Like if you don't really fuck
36:54
Speaker 5: with them, and you hitting them up because you bored,
36:55
Speaker 5: lead them to alone.
36:56
Speaker 3: But what if this person just want to fuck to
36:58
Speaker 3: this person like yo, the.
37:00
Speaker 5: Power dynamics don't match, and you recognize your power dynamic
37:04
Speaker 5: even with it's two men recognize your power dynamic.
37:07
Speaker 6: Is that why you say because one of your lyrics,
37:09
Speaker 6: you're like, if if let me be your boyfriend, if
37:11
Speaker 6: I can't be your boyfriend, let me just be a girlfriend.
37:13
Speaker 6: You're talking about the fact that like as a as
37:14
Speaker 6: a girlfriend, like as your friend. I understand when the
37:18
Speaker 6: power dynamic is often when I'm hurting you, and men
37:20
Speaker 6: with women normally don't do that.
37:22
Speaker 5: I was saying on that. It was more so, I'll
37:25
Speaker 5: be whatever you need me to be. If I could
37:27
Speaker 5: be with you, and I could, I I'll cook for you,
37:33
Speaker 5: clean for you, I'll drop you off at work if.
37:35
Speaker 2: You need me to.
37:36
Speaker 5: I'll go to work with you if you need me too.
37:38
Speaker 5: Like it's like I'll be whatever. It's very much so
37:42
Speaker 5: between Princess if I was your girlfriend, and then I
37:45
Speaker 5: got the title from this singer Girl in Red.
37:49
Speaker 2: She has a song called I Want to Be Your
37:53
Speaker 2: Girlfriend that same those two songs influenced me to write
37:57
Speaker 2: that off.
37:57
Speaker 1: So what if it's a woman, right, what if it
38:00
Speaker 1: got more money? Right? You know she's a big artist.
38:03
Speaker 2: Then I'm gonna be a stay at home dad. You
38:04
Speaker 2: know what I'm saying.
38:06
Speaker 1: I just want you to come over and eat both
38:07
Speaker 1: real quick, and then you're out.
38:08
Speaker 5: If anybody wants me to be a stay at home dad,
38:11
Speaker 5: your damn let me know.
38:14
Speaker 2: I'm really good at it. Let me know.
38:16
Speaker 1: It won't just be any woman.
38:17
Speaker 3: No, I got to be a woman that can make
38:19
Speaker 3: sure you're good at home, like like like.
38:22
Speaker 2: Nia along or something.
38:24
Speaker 6: She said, you gotta signed das and you better text
38:26
Speaker 6: it back in least than twenty four hours.
38:29
Speaker 2: I've text back right now.
38:31
Speaker 1: So you're willing to be used.
38:33
Speaker 2: I'm willing, Yeah, use me.
38:35
Speaker 5: We're here to be used. We here, we wechoose. But
38:38
Speaker 5: like it's how, it's how do you want to be used?
38:40
Speaker 3: I always say if you can't be used, you're useless.
38:43
Speaker 3: But don't let people misuse you. Yeah, exactly, yes, but
38:46
Speaker 3: I think with your long call you over to eat
38:48
Speaker 3: that box that's not be used, you're perfectly okay.
38:52
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm fine. I'm a cook after its for sure.
38:58
Speaker 2: I make a crazy crap case. I make a crazy brand.
39:02
Speaker 2: You know, to what is she don't like seafood?
39:05
Speaker 5: We make a crazy salad, make a nuts minis, dude,
39:08
Speaker 5: make a nuts salad.
39:09
Speaker 1: That's nasty.
39:11
Speaker 5: That's nasty. Not so solid. You know you didn't say
39:19
Speaker 5: that we heard, bro, you heard you tell what we heard,
39:22
Speaker 5: Seemen what we heard.
39:24
Speaker 2: Okay, I walked into that one.
39:27
Speaker 1: Now, are you in a better place?
39:28
Speaker 2: Now?
39:29
Speaker 1: Are just more honest about where you are?
39:31
Speaker 2: Man? Shitty? But she's great.
39:33
Speaker 5: I don't have like bills do or anything like that,
39:35
Speaker 5: And I'm on top of myself mentally today.
39:38
Speaker 2: I'll let you know tomorrow.
39:40
Speaker 1: That's a good way to look at it.
39:40
Speaker 2: Right now, I'm okay. Yeah, I don't feel no tenseness
39:44
Speaker 2: in my stomach.
39:46
Speaker 3: The crazy thing is, once again, I want people to
39:48
Speaker 3: hear this project and that situation that happened with the tape,
39:52
Speaker 3: that's that's really nothing compared to the real life personal
39:58
Speaker 3: things that you are trying to.
39:59
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was a symptom of everything everything else. Yeah.
40:05
Speaker 3: Is this album closure or just the beginning of a
40:07
Speaker 3: different version of Isaiah A Shot?
40:09
Speaker 5: I feel like if you tracked me from all my projects,
40:13
Speaker 5: I've been able to like kind of time capsule, time capsule,
40:17
Speaker 5: the different stages I was in twenty four, twenty one
40:19
Speaker 5: to twenty four and twenty nine going on thirty to
40:22
Speaker 5: now thirty four.
40:24
Speaker 2: You know, I feel right now how I thought.
40:27
Speaker 5: I would have felt about my life and music around
40:30
Speaker 5: in my twenties.
40:32
Speaker 2: I'm like.
40:34
Speaker 5: Motivated to keep going. I wouldn't call it a different phase.
40:37
Speaker 5: It's not up to me to do that. Like, I
40:40
Speaker 5: don't look at myself in that degree. I'm just here today.
40:42
Speaker 1: I think, you know, as a human when you have
40:45
Speaker 1: gone to another level.
40:46
Speaker 2: Though, this is the first time that I've enjoyed my sobriety.
40:50
Speaker 1: Wow, wow wow, And the.
40:52
Speaker 2: First time I could say I'm doing it for myself.
40:54
Speaker 1: What does that feel like? What is enjoying your sobriety
40:57
Speaker 1: feel like?
40:58
Speaker 5: Man, if it was like eleven forty five at night,
41:01
Speaker 5: sitting in a hotel in New York, that bed looked
41:04
Speaker 5: real good and waking up not fatigue, feels real good
41:09
Speaker 5: and shit, yeah, like not feeling drawn, you know, because
41:17
Speaker 5: it's come from an emptiness like I want to be
41:20
Speaker 5: entertained by people you don't know, or just being out
41:22
Speaker 5: like that. To an extent, it comes from an emptiness
41:26
Speaker 5: from me when I indulge in it. So if it
41:29
Speaker 5: feels good, it feels good to end my call in
41:31
Speaker 5: my day talking to him or on the phone with
41:33
Speaker 5: my kid. It feels better doing that than having a
41:38
Speaker 5: bottle of tequila. And man, as a reflex sucks. They
41:42
Speaker 5: haven't had as a reflexing like almost a year, and
41:45
Speaker 5: that's a blessing.
41:46
Speaker 1: What have you replaced those vices with the exercise?
41:49
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, I exercise a lot. I haven't gotten a
41:52
Speaker 5: lot of gains just because my die. I could have
41:56
Speaker 5: a lot of.
41:56
Speaker 2: Meat and a lot of sugar and stuff. So I'm still, yo,
42:00
Speaker 2: you gotta stop, you gottam you gotta fucking stop.
42:05
Speaker 1: All right, you're doing it.
42:09
Speaker 2: Yeah, I ain't got a pause. Nothing that is true.
42:11
Speaker 5: Yeah, nothing's pause. Yeah, nothing's pause for me. Take it
42:15
Speaker 5: how you want to. We can do this.
42:21
Speaker 1: We can do this.
42:23
Speaker 5: But you know, just it's been maintaining myself. I definitely
42:26
Speaker 5: work out of workout every day. We do a lot
42:31
Speaker 5: of journaling. He paints, he's my little brother. Is a
42:35
Speaker 5: fucking battery from me of influence. He's the most I
42:40
Speaker 5: don't know. I just don't want to see my linigga
42:42
Speaker 5: cry uh standing over me passed out on my couch.
42:47
Speaker 5: I don't want to see that.
42:48
Speaker 2: No more.
42:49
Speaker 3: Did he did he like? Was he the energy you
42:51
Speaker 3: needed to make this album.
42:53
Speaker 2: He slowed me down, okay or anything. Yeah, so he
42:57
Speaker 2: was definitely like, I ain't doing that. I ain't going
43:01
Speaker 2: there Like he's definitely slowed me down. I needed that.
43:05
Speaker 5: And again, everything happens, I believe divinely for me.
43:08
Speaker 3: Absolutely, did pain make this album better or did it
43:13
Speaker 3: just make it feel more necessary?
43:16
Speaker 5: Pain was just the honesty. It was just true. Pain
43:20
Speaker 5: just existed. I don't know if it made it better.
43:23
Speaker 5: I hate that like that we have to channel the
43:27
Speaker 5: darkest shit for entertainment.
43:29
Speaker 2: Like I don't like to think that.
43:31
Speaker 5: I like to think that hopefully my next projects better
43:34
Speaker 5: than this and it doesn't have to be as you know, heavy,
43:38
Speaker 5: But it was necessary and it was a step that
43:41
Speaker 5: was taken.
43:41
Speaker 1: So I don't know if that's all fault.
43:43
Speaker 3: Like I think about that often, like you played with
43:47
Speaker 3: the cards, you're delt right, Yeah, if you.
43:49
Speaker 1: Dealt with trauma.
43:50
Speaker 3: But then God also gives you this gift of whether
43:52
Speaker 3: it's entertainment or comedy, whatever it is.
43:53
Speaker 5: Lack entertainment at its highest usually is rewarded for being
43:57
Speaker 5: fucking sad.
43:59
Speaker 2: We go through some ship, go through some sad ship,
44:02
Speaker 2: like you can't.
44:03
Speaker 1: You can't get it. We're gonna be all right if.
44:05
Speaker 2: If we do something.
44:07
Speaker 6: But like even I think too, the reason why it's
44:10
Speaker 6: like people tap into it so much is because a
44:12
Speaker 6: lot of times we breeze past the things that we're
44:14
Speaker 6: really going through. So when somebody take a minute to
44:15
Speaker 6: actually sit down and do a project like what you've done,
44:18
Speaker 6: they're like, oh wow, someone's finally like doing it.
44:21
Speaker 2: Like you need somebody to talk to you. For some people,
44:24
Speaker 2: that is that's.
44:25
Speaker 4: That like you breeze past.
44:27
Speaker 6: You said, I don't want my brother sending over me crying,
44:29
Speaker 6: but make it waking me up, like not sober. And
44:32
Speaker 6: you said that just so like just move on to
44:34
Speaker 6: the next thing. And I'm like, I looked at him
44:35
Speaker 6: because I'm like, oh my god, hearing that I have
44:37
Speaker 6: a little brother, I can't imagine how I would feel
44:40
Speaker 6: as the older sibling and how that would hurt me.
44:42
Speaker 4: But you have been through it. You just it's just
44:44
Speaker 4: something you just go through.
44:45
Speaker 2: I think. I mean that's I think it's something built.
44:48
Speaker 5: I think it's like I wouldn't call that another superpower,
44:52
Speaker 5: but I don't compartmentalize as much as it would sound.
44:56
Speaker 5: But maybe I do that's maybe it takes some unpacking too,
44:59
Speaker 5: but yeah.
45:01
Speaker 1: I don't think.
45:02
Speaker 5: I guess this is how my mom is set up. Really,
45:06
Speaker 5: I take things for how it is and I don't
45:09
Speaker 5: question it too much. I'm like, oh, that's bad, him crying,
45:13
Speaker 5: him cry back. I don't need to think too hard
45:16
Speaker 5: about that, you know.
45:18
Speaker 3: I mean that's the power, because you don't want to
45:20
Speaker 3: hurt the people who love you.
45:21
Speaker 5: Yeah, especially people who I know. I know he deal
45:25
Speaker 5: with his own shit, but I'm like this, Nigga.
45:27
Speaker 2: Is a pretty godly upstanding person, you know, or at
45:31
Speaker 2: least attempts to be. And it's good to have that
45:35
Speaker 2: kind of measurement of a personal round.
45:37
Speaker 3: Was there anything on this album that you were scared
45:39
Speaker 3: to say all out?
45:42
Speaker 5: No, besides thinking like a lot a handful of my friends,
45:45
Speaker 5: a handful of people on top of my own shit,
45:49
Speaker 5: it was just talking about aconomal like my friend's mom's
45:51
Speaker 5: being getting shit, or it was like a lot of
45:54
Speaker 5: our friends, moms and people and our families came out
45:59
Speaker 5: after we were out of high school, and so it's
46:02
Speaker 5: not just black dudes.
46:04
Speaker 2: It's like it's the women too.
46:05
Speaker 5: It was that and the passive aggressiveness of seeing a
46:10
Speaker 5: woman in an unhappy relationship and just doing it just
46:14
Speaker 5: because of what the expectation of what not just being
46:17
Speaker 5: a man with what to be a woman in the
46:19
Speaker 5: black society is, you know, again to not be ostracized.
46:23
Speaker 2: So you might want kids, but you don't want a man.
46:26
Speaker 5: You might want to experience that, or even you know,
46:29
Speaker 5: same way on the other end, somebody might want kids
46:31
Speaker 5: and don't want a wife or whatever. It's just understanding
46:33
Speaker 5: that I was mostly nervous about, like having a conversation
46:39
Speaker 5: with somebody.
46:39
Speaker 2: I haven't had one, but like maybe.
46:41
Speaker 1: What the person he was rapping about, or just yeah,
46:44
Speaker 1: have you had it yet?
46:45
Speaker 2: No? No, I don't even get called onto it, which
46:48
Speaker 2: is cool.
46:50
Speaker 1: Not really, because it sounds to me like you want
46:51
Speaker 1: to have the conversation.
46:52
Speaker 5: No, I want people to be okay. I ain't got
46:55
Speaker 5: to talk to me about nothing. I just want everybody
46:57
Speaker 5: to be okay. You know again, this is this is
47:00
Speaker 5: despite the subject matter.
47:01
Speaker 3: To me, this is ministry or you know, the biggest
47:05
Speaker 3: thing that we can do for each other as people
47:08
Speaker 3: stop acting.
47:09
Speaker 1: Like everything is so black and white.
47:10
Speaker 3: That's why I hate social media so much, because we
47:13
Speaker 3: take these complex things and try to make them A
47:18
Speaker 3: or B right around as.
47:19
Speaker 2: We try to debate it instead of understanding, and.
47:21
Speaker 1: It might not be meant to understood. It might just
47:23
Speaker 1: be meant to talk about.
47:25
Speaker 3: You might understand exactly what you're going through, and it
47:27
Speaker 3: might not be up for nobody else to understand.
47:30
Speaker 6: But the issue is though, but once it's online, then
47:33
Speaker 6: people are debating, trying to fake understands.
47:36
Speaker 5: Some people feel public opinion once you do that, and
47:40
Speaker 5: that's the gift the curse of the Internet.
47:43
Speaker 6: And that's too like when every time, like when you said,
47:45
Speaker 6: I signed up for this and he's like, no, you didn't.
47:47
Speaker 6: I feel like it's a difference in like the age
47:49
Speaker 6: groups as well.
47:50
Speaker 1: Because.
47:52
Speaker 5: I knew what I was getting into, Like I didn't
47:54
Speaker 5: know the possibilities of everything for sure.
47:57
Speaker 6: New you know, we were on the same Yeah, I
48:00
Speaker 6: feel like you got to take what comes with it.
48:02
Speaker 1: Let's how are you thirty four?
48:06
Speaker 4: Oh?
48:06
Speaker 1: Okay, you.
48:10
Speaker 2: Ain't so mad.
48:11
Speaker 4: He's so mad it didn't work because he's you know,
48:14
Speaker 4: he predates the Internet.
48:15
Speaker 1: I'm forty seven.
48:16
Speaker 4: Yes, yeah, that's kind of crazy.
48:19
Speaker 2: I've been. I grew up with him.
48:21
Speaker 4: Yeah, same, same, same.
48:23
Speaker 6: But the reason I say that is because like he
48:25
Speaker 6: is so far in his career that like I feel
48:28
Speaker 6: like he doesn't they have the privilege to be like
48:31
Speaker 6: I didn't sign up for that and I'm not going
48:33
Speaker 6: to do that today, and we can do that, but
48:35
Speaker 6: like it's so different for us.
48:36
Speaker 2: Sometimes I didn't have Wikipedia or people.
48:40
Speaker 4: Doing TikTok reviews, and you'd be like, no, I'm good.
48:42
Speaker 1: What is the thing? I don't care what your sexuality is.
48:47
Speaker 1: That's my point. It really does not matter is the music, Jaman.
48:52
Speaker 3: If this album was whacked, I would be saying, how
48:54
Speaker 3: this album is whack and it's not because of some sex.
48:56
Speaker 4: But you're older and you're involved in you have sense.
49:00
Speaker 6: It's like if everybody could be that, like the rationale
49:05
Speaker 6: could be there, it would be so much less of
49:07
Speaker 6: a lot of things.
49:08
Speaker 1: But you know, you really, I'm not joking.
49:10
Speaker 3: You owe nobody no explanation if you choose too cool,
49:13
Speaker 3: but you really don't not.
49:14
Speaker 2: Only do it for the loo niggas who man, thanks bro,
49:21
Speaker 2: you need to hear it.
49:21
Speaker 5: Yeah, Like I really, that's the only people I owe
49:25
Speaker 5: is the people you know in the ministry.
49:28
Speaker 6: And that's the hard spot because it's like when you're
49:30
Speaker 6: vulnerable like you aren't. People connect to you and they
49:32
Speaker 6: need it. But at the same time you got the
49:34
Speaker 6: people on the other side, and some people run away
49:36
Speaker 6: from being vulnerable because of that.
49:38
Speaker 5: What's crazy is you won't see negativity unless you seek
49:42
Speaker 5: it out, turn your phone off and then and then
49:45
Speaker 5: if somebody is negative enough to hop in my comments section,
49:49
Speaker 5: they really just like me.
49:51
Speaker 2: You really like me a lot.
49:52
Speaker 5: So it's like, just do just deal with your insecurities
49:55
Speaker 5: on your own, and I'll be here when you're When you're.
49:57
Speaker 1: Done, you're gonna put that tape out. Tysting guys. They
50:01
Speaker 1: might have seen what you was doing.
50:03
Speaker 5: That ship was not sexy, that she was not sexy.
50:06
Speaker 5: That shit kept my stock like a motherfucker bed.
50:08
Speaker 1: How many people was in your DMS? Like, Yo, what's up?
50:10
Speaker 2: It was a lot?
50:11
Speaker 1: See what I'm saying.
50:14
Speaker 5: It's like, it's like, nobody with me, nobody's that attractive
50:18
Speaker 5: when they're coming at you on that end of your life,
50:20
Speaker 5: you know.
50:21
Speaker 6: It wasn't nobody that you like. Well, they sent their numbers,
50:24
Speaker 6: so let me at least just.
50:26
Speaker 5: You know, maybe if you need something here my number past.
50:37
Speaker 2: Yeah, a lot of makeup artists hit me up.
50:46
Speaker 1: Listen.
50:47
Speaker 5: Gave me an opportunity to expand my audience music. It's like,
50:51
Speaker 5: oh you like this, so we everywhere with it.
50:56
Speaker 3: I wonder because hip hop is gonna always struggle with
50:59
Speaker 3: conversations around sexuality, vulnerability, masculinity.
51:02
Speaker 1: Do you think what you went through moved the culture
51:04
Speaker 1: forward in anyway?
51:05
Speaker 5: I mean, I think it was predated a little bit
51:07
Speaker 5: with me, with with Frank and the ship Tyler did
51:12
Speaker 5: and all that kind of ship.
51:14
Speaker 2: And then I feel like you just gotta not go
51:15
Speaker 2: out like.
51:17
Speaker 5: Back in the day, I shouldn't have said that. Who
51:20
Speaker 5: I shouldn't have said that? But how the internet did that?
51:22
Speaker 2: You know? That was that look crazy?
51:24
Speaker 1: But yeah, that's you. You kind of had that same.
51:26
Speaker 5: Yeah, like it was like we was fifteen years past that.
51:29
Speaker 5: So you know, I think I was I just hitting
51:31
Speaker 5: a nice little soft cushion.
51:34
Speaker 2: My bad, bro. I ain't even mean to bring up.
51:36
Speaker 1: Your ship like that.
51:37
Speaker 2: That was wrong with me.
51:38
Speaker 1: I'll edit it.
51:39
Speaker 2: We edit it.
51:40
Speaker 1: Oh, ple's it. They don't need to cause people un
51:41
Speaker 1: necessary pain.
51:42
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's nice.
51:44
Speaker 3: When people look back at this chapter of your life,
51:47
Speaker 3: what do you hope they understand that headlines got wrong?
51:51
Speaker 5: M I don't think people will look back at this
51:56
Speaker 5: chapter like that after everything is going on, like this
51:59
Speaker 5: is be a book note. And I feel like it's
52:03
Speaker 5: not that surprising if you know my music and you've
52:07
Speaker 5: seen me. I'm like, if I wasn't already gay, I
52:13
Speaker 5: was hell affectionate, you know hell, you know, so it
52:20
Speaker 5: ain't tripping on that ship.
52:23
Speaker 2: I am who I am. I'm here, you know, I don't.
52:26
Speaker 5: Know too many motherfuckers with just four projects who I've
52:28
Speaker 5: been up here and been seeing you for the past
52:30
Speaker 5: fifteen years, or I'm here doing something for somebody.
52:34
Speaker 3: I respect anybody who's not afraid to be who they are.
52:39
Speaker 1: That's just it.
52:41
Speaker 3: I don't care, don't I don't care, you know what
52:43
Speaker 3: I'm saying. And I'm sure it's a bunch of other
52:44
Speaker 3: people that feel that way too.
52:47
Speaker 5: I think most people, we all we all got somebody
52:50
Speaker 5: in our family, you know what I'm saying, to some
52:54
Speaker 5: extent of who's by gay or somewhere in between or
53:00
Speaker 5: transitioning or whatever. So course, and it's like, not even
53:06
Speaker 5: to make it a thing, it's like you're I don't know,
53:09
Speaker 5: on a scientific level, you're very much predisposed if you
53:12
Speaker 5: come from a broken to have some type of sex curiosity.
53:16
Speaker 2: Paper it might be wrong, really, yeah, Hella.
53:20
Speaker 4: Because you're searching for a need for something.
53:22
Speaker 5: It's just the dynamics of relationships. I was like, you know,
53:26
Speaker 5: if you if you only grew up around women, you
53:30
Speaker 5: know some of your habits, or if you only grew
53:32
Speaker 5: up around men, some of your habits and how.
53:34
Speaker 2: You view things.
53:35
Speaker 5: A girl that group that was raised by men, you
53:38
Speaker 5: can't be surprised when you start liking girls. A girl
53:42
Speaker 5: that was raised by men, you can't be mad or
53:45
Speaker 5: surprised when she starts liking girls.
53:48
Speaker 3: I think it's just something. Yeah, like you said, pre
53:51
Speaker 3: I just think it's biological. I don't know if it's.
53:53
Speaker 2: I think it's a combination.
53:54
Speaker 5: Some people are some some shits nurture, some s's nature,
53:58
Speaker 5: and some of it's a combination. And it's not up
54:01
Speaker 5: to me to determine it's gonna that should take up
54:04
Speaker 5: too much of my life besides just being okay with it.
54:08
Speaker 2: You are you are, you are, you are.
54:10
Speaker 1: So what's the more of the story, man, from everything
54:12
Speaker 1: you've been through? Is it fame? Exposure? Healing all of.
54:15
Speaker 5: It by my album so I can take care of
54:17
Speaker 5: my family it's been awful. It's been awful. The bills
54:21
Speaker 5: are high. Uh, the government's weird. They want to take
54:26
Speaker 5: parks away from people. And a whole bunch of other
54:29
Speaker 5: ship that I don't have to get into because I
54:32
Speaker 5: don't get paid to do that. But definitely just a
54:35
Speaker 5: boy the album Man By the album. It'll do something
54:38
Speaker 5: nice for you, do something positive for your mental and
54:41
Speaker 5: either you're gonna love it and feel seen or you're
54:45
Speaker 5: gonna put it up until you need it.
54:49
Speaker 2: But it's gonna come.
54:49
Speaker 4: Back around and it can go with the vinyls too.
54:51
Speaker 2: The website, Yeah, you can get the all alternative vinyls.
54:55
Speaker 4: That one, the one and my.
54:57
Speaker 2: Mom at my grandma's house.
54:59
Speaker 5: Me and uh, my manager Matt shot that one at
55:03
Speaker 5: the bi Centennial Library in Chattanooga. It's the library and
55:07
Speaker 5: me and my mom went to when I was a kid,
55:08
Speaker 5: when she was studying for a degree. So a lot
55:12
Speaker 5: of this stuff is really personal. And then this is
55:14
Speaker 5: one of our really good friends, Steve Harrington. He designed
55:18
Speaker 5: this forest and it's an animated version of the story
55:21
Speaker 5: of Cyphysis pushing the boulder up the hill. That was
55:24
Speaker 5: that was originally what my cover was supposed to be
55:26
Speaker 5: okay till somebody told me it's too expensive.
55:29
Speaker 1: That's how you felt. You felt like, yeah, wow, explain
55:33
Speaker 1: that story for you who don't remember.
55:36
Speaker 2: Man, I barely remember.
55:37
Speaker 1: Now let's look it up, because now you got me.
55:39
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, you know, I heard the story.
55:41
Speaker 5: I was between the story of syphasis and like using
55:43
Speaker 5: something like Atlas. But then I feel like that was
55:45
Speaker 5: too egotistical to think I really had to my shoulders.
55:49
Speaker 1: Yeah, cyphisis boulder. What was this s Yeah.
55:53
Speaker 3: The mephisphicis who was condemned by the gods to roll
55:55
Speaker 3: a massive boulder upper hill for eternity, only for it
55:58
Speaker 3: to roll back down on each time.
56:01
Speaker 6: Wow, Like I got it. I'm here and it's back
56:07
Speaker 6: into different things. Yeah.
56:10
Speaker 3: And he was punished for his extreme hubris, thinking himself
56:12
Speaker 3: better than the gods, and his tendency the trick depth.
56:15
Speaker 3: His punishment is a popular symbol of futile, repetitive, and
56:18
Speaker 3: frustrating task.
56:20
Speaker 4: You feel like the bad things happened to you, like
56:22
Speaker 4: for a punishment, Yeah.
56:25
Speaker 2: Yeah, why not choice punishment for my actions? Yeah?
56:30
Speaker 1: Four choices?
56:30
Speaker 5: Yeah, Yeah, I feel like God directly if I said
56:35
Speaker 5: something about you that came from a place of men
56:39
Speaker 5: like Hubris an ego. I'm likely to like fuck my
56:43
Speaker 5: foot up when I leave out of here and I
56:45
Speaker 5: don't even know how, or I'll lose some ship. It
56:51
Speaker 5: happens for every action, there's a reaction in my life.
56:53
Speaker 3: I saw how I saw how you felt that immediately
56:56
Speaker 3: when you mentioned dude's name just now a little while ago, immediately.
56:59
Speaker 2: You want like, that's wrong. I'm like, who am I?
57:02
Speaker 2: Who am I to do that? It's not right.
57:04
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's been awful, man, Isaiah Shot. It's been a
57:08
Speaker 3: pleasure at least to talk to you.
57:09
Speaker 2: Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.
57:11
Speaker 3: Go get the album. It's been awful. Everywhere you buy
57:14
Speaker 3: music now it's the breakfast club.
57:16
Speaker 1: Hold every day a weak click, yours up the breakfast club.
57:21
Speaker 2: You don't finishing.
57:21
Speaker 1: Y'all done,