Latest / Williamson County Neighbors hosted by Lyndsay Stafford / Habits, Health & High Fives with Ashley Plourde :: Ep 62 The Lyndsay Stafford Show

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Habits, Health & High Fives with Ashley Plourde :: Ep 62 The Lyndsay Stafford Show · Williamson County Neighbors hosted by Lyndsay Stafford

• 0:00
  Unknown: This is the Lindsay Stafford Show. Welcome back to
• 0:05
  the Lindsay Stafford show. I am so excited today. My sister
• 0:09
  Ashley, Florida is back with me again. We had so much fun last
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  time that we already booked another one, and here we are.
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  Today we are this is not a traditional Lindsay Stafford
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  show, podcast. So today we're talking about all things working
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  mom, life hacks, how we fit things in, our favorite
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  products, our favorite things that make us be able to function
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  at a high level. My sister is a high achiever. She is a mom of
• 0:35
  two young kids. I'm a high achiever. Also type A
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  personality. I think we both would qualify as a type A
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  personality.
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  Yes, I get mixed reviews about that. For you, yeah, I was like,
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  not for me. People I work with think that I'm type A. People I
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  don't work with know that I'm not type A.
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  Oh, I think you're very much a type A personality. You know how
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  you want things done, and you have a very strict routine,
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  which I think is part of your secrets, yes, so I would
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  definitely say we're both type A we're very similar in a lot of
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  ways. We were just doing squats to warm up, and I was like,
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  let's do a high five. And we just started, like, alternating
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  high fives without even thinking about it. But we're going to
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  talk about, how do you manage all that? So I've got two
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  teenagers. She's got two young kids. We're both working, you
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  know, and it's, it's a it's a lot, but we also both prioritize
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  family and health. And so I want to talk through some of our
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  favorite items, some of our favorite hacks, some of our
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  favorite routines and activities. And so we're going
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  to share all the secrets today are coming out in this episode.
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  Remember when we first started the podcast and we were like,
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  our whole premise is going to be like, how do you be a working
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  mom and still have it all? And yes, because we have a lot of
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  crossover there. Like, yeah, we both, I think that a lot of moms
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  try to be selfless, yeah? And they kind of hang their hat on
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  that, and they have guilt around things that they label as
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  selfish, and for me, I just know I am a better person when I put
• 2:08
  my oxygen mask on first that I know it sounds so cliche, but
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  I'm like a better wife, a better mom, if I have my strategies, my
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  rituals to Start the day on my terms, before I go inside my
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  chaotic life, and everybody wants something from me, and you
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  can't. You really can't pour from an empty cup. So it's how
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  do you fill your cup consistently every day so that
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  you're not showing up as your worst self some days for your
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  family, I love
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  everything you said. I agree with all of that, and I think
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  that is one of the founding kind of principles for you. And I
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  that like and I think our mom did that honestly. I think mom
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  showed us in a lot of ways, like I remember her saying, I'm a
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  really good mom all day, and now it's my
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  time, yeah. And I say that
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  too, yeah. Now this is my time. We say that because, like, nine
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  o'clock, obviously, sometimes it's different, because we have
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  high school kids in sports, but nine o'clock, that's our time.
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  Like, I'm happy to do whatever you need for me, but don't ask
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  me at 9pm because that's when we get an hour together before we
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  go to bed. That's like, our downtime to watch a show or talk
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  or whatever. And I don't feel
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  bad about it. No boundary. I'm, I'm like, I'm I'm present, I
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  will do what you need me to do. And then Good night, yeah, and
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  my sometimes, Andy will come down and she's like, Mommy,
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  blah, blah. And I'm like, Hey, I'm off. I'm not gonna be a nice
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  mommy right now. Yeah, I already said good night. If you don't go
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  back to bed, you're gonna get mean mommy.
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  Yeah, you don't want mean mommy. And I'm pretty sure I said the
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  same things, but I think we had that example. And I also
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  remember now we have five kids in our family. Obviously, I'm
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  saying this to listeners. You know that? So it's I'm the
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  oldest, you're four years younger, so I'm 24 and you're
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  20, and then kind of gone. I would never want Me neither. Me
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  neither. Yeah, me neither. And then Mark is four years younger
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  than you, and then we have Billy and the twins that are four
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  years mark when pregnancy. Yeah, surprise, oops, twin pregnancy.
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  So I'm 11 and a half years older than the twins, and you are
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  seven and a half years older than the twins, yeah. So I
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  remember, even when we were growing up, mom would be like,
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  I'm going for a walk. And like, she would make sure she got her
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  time in to be the best version of herself. And I think having
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  her model that was important to us,
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  don't you remember, like, right after she had the kids, the
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  twins, and we moved because dad was traveling and mom we were
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  having babies in October, and he rented a house in Chicago. We
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  were in Ohio. He rented a house in Chicago. He probably rented
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  it sight unseen. He No, he did. He read the listing wrong, and
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  we moved in, and it had one less bedroom than we thought it had,
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  the mom thought it had, God bless her, that she didn't lose
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  it regularly. With this situation, she was constantly
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  alone with two babies in the NICU. And then I. Remember Aunt
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  Ruth came and helped out when we moved to that rental house,
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  because dad was still commuting, like, an hour a day up to the
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  Chicago area or something like that, and she had to navigate
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  that. But I remember once they built the house because they
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  were building in Cary, Chicago area. We were living in Fox
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  River Grove and building in Cary, yes, my gosh. And we used
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  to go to that site all the time. Those are some good memories.
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  Like, I love a construction site, house construction site. I
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  love knowing about that stuff, and it was just a lot for her to
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  handle. I remember a lot of screen time, which I'm very
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  generous with, screen time with my kids. Now, I don't think it
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  was harmful for me at all. And I remember her getting herself
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  back, like, around two years later. Remember they had, she
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  had the male nanny. Do you know what I was gonna say that? No,
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  the male nanny, Ross, yes. And he would come, like, a couple
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  mornings a week, and she would go walk, and he would help clean
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  up, and just like, take a little bit of the burden of full time
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  momming twin babies in a new home, yeah, where you don't have
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  the support system. So that's one thing I like. The first
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  thing I think about when people become a mom, I think like, be
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  really patient with yourself, because for a couple years,
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  you're going to be still finding your footing, and you can't have
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  the same expectation that you're going to be 100% in every area,
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  because it really does deplete you, and you have to transform
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  into a new person when you first have a child.
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  Yeah, you really do. And then at each phase, you have to make
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  transformations in your life and adaptations. I mean. So I think
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  one, one thing as we're sharing, kind of to summarize, is
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  prioritizing what you need to feel better? Yeah, and whatever
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  that looks like. And Dave and I, in our marriage, have a really
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  good partnership. I know you and Andrew do the same kind of thing
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  is, and maybe this is another thing. Another tip is, like, we
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  can kind of tell when the other person is like, needing
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  something like, whether it's a day to relax, whether it's like,
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  how do you tell you bite each other's heads off. No, no.
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  Actually, that for me, it's like, Dave just gets shorter a
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  little bit with me, he's never like, mean, he just, I'm like, I
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  can tell, I can sense that you're not like, here, like,
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  what's going on and like, I think we we serve that for each
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  other. Like, we both are, like, all right. I think you need,
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  like, a minute to just, like, what do you want to do right
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  now? And like, sometimes it is just like having a few hours to
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  yourself to just not be in demand. And I think that
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  communication on how having somebody that's looking out for
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  you, because it's hard to do it on your own, to always know
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  that, like, oh, wait, I didn't do that. I need to do something
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  like he's Yes, we recently, as you know, our today, hopefully
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  he's finishing right now our bedroom. So we did, like, a
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  bedroom refresh and, and I say Refresh. We had the same
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  furniture for the last 17 years time, and it came from Bob's
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  Discount Furniture. And I think the entire set was, like, $1,700
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  and every piece of it is broken in some way. And we've had it
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  for, like, literally, it's been from Maine to Baltimore to or
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  Maine to New Hampshire to Baltimore to Tennessee in two
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  houses in Texas. And what a milestone, because I was living
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  with you when you got that Bob's furniture. Oh my gosh. And
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  things were tight. Yeah, finances were tight. Totally. We
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  were just starting out. You could have bought new furniture
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  a long time ago, but just like a picture of your life now versus
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  then, to be like, This is not stressful. It's not like we
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  needed to do this and you had to wait until it was, like,
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  absolutely necessary we get to do this, yeah, to design our
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  life the way we want to, because of how hard you've worked to get
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  to that place. Yeah. And I remember you asking me, this is
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  totally a side note, but being like, when are you gonna, like,
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  slow down? Like, you probably asked me that, like, six or
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  seven years ago, like, when is it when are you gonna slow down?
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  And I was telling Dave the other day, like, I feel like we're
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  there, but like, I'm definitely not slow by anyone's stretch.
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  It's just that there's, there's breathing room now, like, right?
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  Like, I think I have so many people around me that take some
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  of the burden of having a great team that it's like, okay, we
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  can breathe a little bit. So we were recently doing the bedroom.
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  I think he's finishing it today. He's putting the nightstands
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  together in the curtains. And I was pretty strict with my budget
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  on the bedroom, because I have a hard time making, like, big
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  purchases like that. And as I'm thinking about, like, doing
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  this, he's been doing opening the boxes and putting these
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  together and all these things for me while I'm like, you know,
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  doing other things. And he said, I think I just haven't even
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  worked out this week. And I was like, Okay, you need to not do
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  anything today. Crazy. Like, just go, just take the day and
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  just do what you need to do for you. And so I think my second
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  tip for us is, like, because I think you and Andrew do it too
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  for each other. Like, look out for like, what does my spouse
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  need? And giving them permission to do that as a parent, because
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  they're also a person. Well, your
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  spouse knows you the best and and we can, it's been 13 years.
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  It's been 15 years together. We can start to, I finally feel
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  like I could start to identify patterns. Where I'm like, oh,
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  you know, maybe there's like a seasonal thing where it's like,
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  every December, this is how, how somebody's mood goes, or
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  there's, what am I trying to say, anniversaries of things
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  that can affect people. You know, I come from like, a
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  background of studying sociology, social work, trauma,
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  and I really think about like, supporting people
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  psychologically, and the whole picture of what makes you a
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  happy person, it's not just your physical health, it's also your
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  mental health, your community and your spirituality. So all of
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  those things need to be in place, and I can start to see
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  how the dynamics play out after 15 years, and be a reflection
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  for them, saying, noticing this, maybe I can help you this way.
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  Yeah. And, of course, the same thing, you know, we reflect for
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  each other, yeah, I think that's really a partner is very
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  important. Yeah, it's really important, and it's really
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  important to figure out how to get to that place. I was talking
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  to somebody last week at a conference, and I could just
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  tell she was struggling with her business, and I was kind of
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  asking her some questions, and I could tell, just from experience
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  and time, because I'm not young, yeah, that it, there's, it's
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  real tension in the marriage, and that's probably causing and
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  so I think it's important a lot of people go through life and
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  they're like, this is just, is what it is. Like, we're just not
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  ever going to communicate great. And like, you know, you just
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  kind of choose to be okay with it not being great. And I think
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  one thing that we've done, and I think you and Andrew do the same
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  thing, is really make an effort to figure out, how do I make it
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  great? Like, I remember you saying to me at some point, I
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  don't know who knows when, but like, I if there's one thing I'm
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  going to do great in my life like that. I want to be great.
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  It's gonna be my marriage. And I thought I still sounds like me.
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  I still hear that today, and I think, well, yeah, it should be,
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  and I know that it's not for everybody, but that I do think
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  makes a major difference, because I have this solid
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  foundation of this person who cannot wait to hear what I did
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  today, or wants to talk about it and wants to take the burden
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  off. And you know that is so powerful. He texts me this
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  morning. We I send him a text every morning that's like,
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  something I just say, like, Thank you for taking such good
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  care of me, or, like, something that's on our on my mind. So
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  it's like, appreciative. And so we start our day like that with
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  this exchange a word of affirmation, yes, because
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  usually I'm up and at the gym and he's up after, like, right
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  after me, but we don't, you're
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  endorphin rush. You dump it on your husband. Yeah? It starts,
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  it starts things good, yeah, exactly. It starts at the day.
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  But he said, like, have a great day during your podcast today,
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  you know, like, have fun. I know your sister's there. I know you
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  guys can have fun. It was just, it's just sweet to have that
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  Yeah. So I think that foundation of a partner is really a life
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  hack with everything else that we're doing, right? Yeah, of
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  course, yeah. So let's jump into some of our daily habits that
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  keep us grounded. So as we talked about the first thing
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  being prioritizing what you need, second thing having that
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  support system. And it may not be a spouse. Not everybody has a
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  partner or spouse, but have a friend or an accountability
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  partner, someone I know dad plays a big role for me. He's my
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  I say he's my business coach. Somebody asked me last week, do
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  you think he could coach me? And I was like, No, he doesn't
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  actually coach business he's just my dad. But yeah, probably
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  would for free. I know because he's the most shirt off his
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  back. He literally is the most generous, kind person. I'm like,
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  so honored.
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  Yeah, yeah. I'm like, Dad, you have to be like, I like, shame
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  about about it. Sometimes. I'm like, no boundaries at all. Dad,
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  he did read the book boundaries. I know it was life changing for
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  him. He like, told me about he did. He didn't tell me about it,
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  yeah. How funny is that? A little bit I can't remember the
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  details. I'm gonna ask you to dig him up and let you know how
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  it came up. Shame on me, because
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  I didn't ask him about it. Like he reads after I read a book in
• 13:46
  my audible, he reads it so, like he just continues to read my
• 13:50
  library. But I need to ask him about it. So, yeah, our dad is
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  literally the most kind, giving, generous person I think, I think
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  I've ever met. I mean, I really think that dad puts humans
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  besides himself before himself at all costs.
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  Almost, yeah, yeah. It really drives him, and I think that's
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  one of the things I want to talk about, like finding what you
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  were talking about, an accountability partner, finding
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  what makes you feel obligated to keep up with your routine,
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  because the things that we do to take care of ourselves are
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  really easy to quit. This is just This is just a fact of
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  life, like the stuff that's worth doing and makes a
• 14:34
  difference is really hard to keep up with, but the secret to
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  it all is consistency. The more that you do it, the easier it
• 14:43
  gets to do. I listened to a couple podcasts a long time ago
• 14:47
  that really shaped how I think about this stuff. One of them
• 14:50
  was about habit stacking. I'll talk about that in a second. And
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  the other one just the the note the person, the expert was
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  saying, is. With, specifically with an exercise routine. The
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  hardest part, the hardest time, the one, the part when it's most
• 15:07
  at risk, is when you have to take a break and you're
• 15:11
  confronted with, do I start again? For some reason, that
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  restart feels so much harder than it did when you were in the
• 15:19
  flow. So specifically, you go on vacation, you don't work out on
• 15:23
  vacation, when you come back, how do you make sure that you
• 15:26
  get back into your routine? And it could be exercise, or it
• 15:29
  could be taking your vitamins or whatever, meditation, like
• 15:33
  anything that takes you out of your routine, can you get back
• 15:36
  into it so mentally, knowing the restart is going to be harder,
• 15:41
  like preparing yourself to say, I'm not going to want to do it.
• 15:45
  I'm going to forget how good it feels to be in the consistent
• 15:48
  flow, and I'm going to make myself do it anyway, and setting
• 15:51
  that bar really low. So if it's working out, maybe it's I'm
• 15:54
  going to set my clothes out and I'm going to go to the gym for
• 15:58
  five minutes. Literally, I have done that so many times, where
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  I'm like, I don't feel like it, especially babies up at night.
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  I'm nursing like, you know, postpartum, I don't want to work
• 16:08
  out. Or even maybe I'm like, a little under the weather, not,
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  you know, no fever, but just like, should I? Should I not?
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  I'll be like, I'll go for five minutes. And if five minutes in
• 16:18
  I want to quit, I can quit. It's showing up. And we were talking
• 16:21
  about the power of just showing up often, just just being in the
• 16:26
  right place. You can follow through on your own, yeah, if
• 16:29
  you don't rely on motivation. Yeah? I think habit stacking is
• 16:33
  a huge life hack. We talked about that, yeah, you and I talk
• 16:36
  about it all the time. Anytime I want to start something new,
• 16:39
  That's literally how I do it. Okay, so you got me connected to
• 16:43
  we're going to be in true form for Ashley and Lindsay. We're
• 16:47
  going to be all over the place with the topics, because we both
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  are ADHD, yeah, don't create an outline for this, no, but one of
• 16:55
  the things we
• 16:55
  love is the red light mask you it's your favorite product, and
• 17:00
  I use it every single morning, and when you kept convincing me
• 17:03
  that I needed to, I was like, All right, so I think Dave got
• 17:06
  them the neck and the face one for my birthday. So since
• 17:09
  August, I've been doing it, and my first thought was, When am I
• 17:12
  going to do it? That's going to be routine. And so anytime I'm
• 17:14
  teaching someone or coaching someone on implementing
• 17:18
  something new or different, yeah, the routine. So example
• 17:21
  would be, Ben's driving, right? He's going to be 16 and just a
• 17:25
  few days. And so when he drives out of the garage and gets ready
• 17:31
  to leave the driveway, My habit is I do not tell him to close
• 17:35
  the garage door until he's starting to pull out of the
• 17:37
  driveway, because if he's missed it, I want his cue to be I get
• 17:40
  to the end of the driveway, I close the garage door. And so
• 17:43
  we're leaving the other day, and Dave's with us, and Dave's in
• 17:46
  the backseat. I get to be the passenger princess with both the
• 17:48
  boys driving. And so Dave always sits in the back so I can sit
• 17:51
  next to Ben. And he told it in the middle of the driveway, he's
• 17:54
  like, garage door. And I was like, I always wait till we get
• 17:56
  to the end of the driveway, because I want him to have that
• 17:59
  connection. Yeah. And so anytime you're starting something new,
• 18:01
  habit stacking is really important. So with red light
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  mask being one of the things that we both do every day, I
• 18:07
  think the only time I don't do it is if I'm traveling for three
• 18:10
  days, I'll do it before I leave, and I'll do it the night I come
• 18:13
  home, so I might skip a day. But for the most does travel pretty
• 18:17
  well. I had to go on one time. Well, yeah, but it's so easy to
• 18:21
  charge. Yeah, it's just an iPhone, and it's only 10 minutes
• 18:23
  that it stays on for. So it's just when I'm trying, I only do
• 18:27
  carry on. So like, occasionally it's like, I just don't, I'm not
• 18:30
  gonna mess with you in one day, but it's part of my morning
• 18:33
  routine. So like, I do my eye patches, and then I do my mask,
• 18:37
  and usually during that time, I'm like listening to my Bible,
• 18:42
  because I do the Bible every day, read the listen to it every
• 18:45
  day, and then the devotional that goes with it. And then I'm
• 18:48
  doing I'm usually starting laundry, making my mushroom
• 18:51
  coffee, which is another daily for me, the bravenly Mushroom
• 18:56
  coffee. I make that, and then I turn the lights off in the
• 18:59
  house, like the ones that we leave on at night and we keep
• 19:02
  our This sounds so silly that I'm talking about this every
• 19:04
  day, but we have a basket of snacks for delivery drivers that
• 19:08
  we keep out all the time. I have to bring it in at night because
• 19:11
  we have raccoons, and I've learned my lesson because it's
• 19:14
  been gone, so I usually replenish that in the morning.
• 19:17
  You do that all year. Yeah, that's so nice we I mean,
• 19:22
  yeah, I have had so many delivery driver, yeah, we do get
• 19:24
  a lot of, a lot of boxes, and I've had so many people say,
• 19:27
  what a difference it makes. It's like, it's such a small thing,
• 19:30
  and now it's like, a habit. Yeah, I don't even really think
• 19:32
  about it. It's just I, I fill that and put it back out and so
• 19:37
  red light mask. I use eye patches every day. I also do,
• 19:40
  what's the stone that you use to, like the Gua Sha gua Shai.
• 19:43
  So they do that in the morning and at night. What else do you
• 19:47
  do? The eye patches under the red light mask? No. Okay, good.
• 19:50
  So I do the eye patches literally, like, I wake up,
• 19:53
  brush my teeth, put my, well, I put my eye patches on first.
• 19:56
  Brush my teeth. Put my gym clothes on without like, shoes
• 19:58
  and everything. I don't even give. Myself a minute to like,
• 20:01
  yeah, it's like, you get right in your your gym outfit, and
• 20:05
  then I do, I like, get dressed. I forget what else I do. I think
• 20:09
  that's it. Like, I brush my teeth. By the time I'm like, go
• 20:11
  to the bathroom, get dressed, brush my teeth. It's 10 minutes.
• 20:14
  And then I take those off, yeah. Then I wash my face, then I put
• 20:17
  my red light mask on, and then you do your skincare after then
• 20:20
  after my red light mask, I've got my coffee and I do my
• 20:23
  skincare while I am like, I listen to my Bible, if it's not
• 20:27
  done yet, and otherwise, I put a podcast on our book, and wash my
• 20:32
  face, do my my skincare routine, and yeah, and then go to the
• 20:37
  gym.
• 20:38
  Yeah. I think if it's not stacked, I don't do it me too.
• 20:42
  This is the thing I've been trying to fit in longer
• 20:46
  meditation sessions, and it is top of mind, and I can't do a
• 20:50
  longer meditation session every day. It's not stackable for me.
• 20:54
  So I try to fit it in on the regular things that happen on
• 20:58
  the weekend, because weekends sort of have their own flow. A
• 21:02
  lot of the things I can control in the morning, I'm still doing
• 21:05
  every morning, but the weekends. You know, it depends what we're
• 21:09
  committed to as a family, what obligations we have and how
• 21:12
  everybody's feeling, but we do have nap time, so that's one of
• 21:15
  the things where I can usually try to fit in a long meditation
• 21:19
  set session with binaural beats, which you last night.
• 21:22
  Were like, I'm gonna ask you about that. So do it? I was
• 21:24
  like, that's not happening. I'm at a basketball game. I know I
• 21:26
  want to ask you more about that, but we'll talk about we'll have
• 21:29
  to table that for next time. I guess I think you you have a
• 21:32
  different pace on the weekends, where it's like, not because you
• 21:35
  don't have to be at work. So there's a little more flexible.
• 21:37
  I feel the same way Dad and I meet our commitment is 6am to go
• 21:41
  to the gym Monday through Friday, yeah. And then on the
• 21:43
  weekends, we have to say it the night before, otherwise, I will
• 21:47
  just start doing stuff around the house. Weekends are
• 21:49
  optional. Weekends are optional, yeah? So I do five days in terms
• 21:54
  of, like, movement. I do five days of strength training. I
• 21:56
  usually do three lower body and two upper body. And I try to do
• 21:59
  10 minutes of core every one of those days. Today, I made the
• 22:03
  decision because I had to be here early for hair and makeup,
• 22:06
  and I made the decision to do the sauna instead of core. So I
• 22:10
  was like, I'll just add that tomorrow, I'll work out in some
• 22:13
  Dave. And I know we'll work out because we're not golfing
• 22:15
  tomorrow, so I know we'll work out together. So I'll probably
• 22:17
  get six days in, but I'm doing the sauna today, so that's
• 22:20
  another thing I added in this year. Was 60 minutes in the
• 22:23
  sauna and per week, and so I break it up into 320 minute
• 22:28
  sessions. It's the last five minutes I'm really hot and
• 22:31
  sweaty and, like, I just want to get out of there, and my phone
• 22:34
  is dead at that point because it's overheated.
• 22:36
  So like, what temperature is your sauna at 151 or 152
• 22:40
  Yeah, it's pretty hot. And I turn it on before I go to the
• 22:43
  gym, so then when I come back, it's totally hot. Yeah, yep. So
• 22:46
  I do that 60 minutes a week, and it's not something I enjoy, but
• 22:50
  I'm growing to enjoy the time, not the heat, but like I have 20
• 22:56
  minutes to sit here and shop or whatever I feel like doing it's
• 23:01
  like a break. A lot of times I work. I'm on the phone with
• 23:04
  Carrie or something, but that's one thing I work in three days a
• 23:08
  week, so I usually do it on hair washing days. Well, I
• 23:11
  got really interested in the habit stacking idea when I heard
• 23:15
  about this experiment they did, and it was so long ago that I
• 23:18
  won't remember any of the specifics, but they did this
• 23:21
  experiment with college kids, and they gave them a book, like
• 23:25
  a very addictive book, like Harry Potter was one of the ones
• 23:29
  they gave them, and they locked it in the locker at the gym, and
• 23:32
  they said, like, you have to read this book, or you have to
• 23:35
  work out. Your goal is to work out. When you work out, you can
• 23:38
  read this book. And then they didn't give the book to anyone
• 23:41
  else, so to the other cohort in the in the experiment, and
• 23:46
  people who have the book as the motivation to stack on top of
• 23:51
  their cardio did a lot more cardio. There were a lot more
• 23:54
  successful. And they gave other examples of pairing something
• 23:58
  you don't want to do with something that you do you want
• 24:00
  to do in order to make it more appealing and consistent? So one
• 24:04
  of the examples was, if you love beer, and you try to limit your
• 24:09
  beer every time you get out the vacuum, and you're vacuuming
• 24:12
  your house, you can have a beer with it, and you you will start
• 24:15
  to condition yourself, like Pavlov's dogs, to actually
• 24:19
  anticipate the reward with the action. So you can hack your
• 24:22
  brain this way to like you're saying with Ben, the trigger for
• 24:27
  closing the garage door is leaving the driveway. So there
• 24:31
  are lots of ways that this has worked. I have a friend who was
• 24:35
  trying to remember to take their medication, a really important
• 24:38
  medication. We were all mad at this friend for not taking their
• 24:41
  medication. You know, we're on the journey with them, and I'm
• 24:44
  like, can you please put it next to your toothbrush? And the
• 24:49
  friend tells me, I have taken my medication every day for the
• 24:53
  last 30 days because I said it next to my toothbrush. I can't
• 24:56
  believe I didn't think of this on my own. So it's things like
• 24:59
  that you. Know, you drink coffee every day. If you want to start
• 25:02
  taking one of the critical vitamins for your health, put it
• 25:06
  next to your coffee, and then take it with your coffee. It's
• 25:10
  once you kind of unlock this concept, you can start unlocking
• 25:14
  other levels in your life. I think that you and I, a lot of
• 25:18
  people ask me, How do you stay motivated to work out. Or people
• 25:21
  ask the world, I follow a lot of fitness influencers, and they're
• 25:24
  like, how do I get motivated? Or I'm on Facebook, on one of my
• 25:28
  favorite Facebook pages, and they're like, I really want to
• 25:30
  start working out. I know I need to. How do I get motivated to do
• 25:34
  this? And everyone who is actually doing it says, Why are
• 25:39
  you relying on motivation? We don't feel like working out
• 25:43
  discipline. Yeah, right. It's like, I'm not motivated to brush
• 25:46
  my teeth every day. I'm motivated to not have cavities,
• 25:50
  so I have the discipline to brush my teeth every day. So
• 25:53
  choose what you want to do. Set the bar really low and start
• 25:57
  stacking it on top of the things you've already designed your
• 25:59
  life to to put into practice every day. I also think people
• 26:04
  get very discouraged sometimes when I have conversations with
• 26:07
  them about my fitness routine, because it is very time
• 26:11
  consuming. I just got my whoop. I saw Yeah, and it was like 220
• 26:17
  hours of walking and about or 250 of walking and 220 of
• 26:21
  weightlifting, and that doesn't count anything I didn't log,
• 26:24
  which is a lot that I didn't log. So this is a big time
• 26:28
  commitment. A while ago, I wanted to take my I saw this,
• 26:32
  like, arbitrary statistic that was like, actual athletes work
• 26:36
  out at least. I don't know what it was. I can't remember. It
• 26:39
  was, like, at least two hours, I don't know, average a day or
• 26:44
  something, something. And I was like, I can do this. And I
• 26:47
  started. I got the walking pad, and I started making sure I
• 26:49
  walked an hour a day, and I did it. It was easy because I
• 26:52
  stacked it on top of other things. But I didn't start out
• 26:55
  working out two hours a day. I started out working out one or
• 27:00
  two fitness classes a week, or four fitness classes a week, you
• 27:04
  can get a lot of exercise benefits from 20 minutes three
• 27:08
  times a week, or 30 minutes three times a week. It really is
• 27:12
  exponentially more than the average person is doing. It's a
• 27:15
  lot more approachable than it looks when you look at someone
• 27:18
  like us who's been doing it for 15 years, right?
• 27:21
  Yeah, no, I, you know when I it's funny because fitness is
• 27:24
  dad and I were talking about this. There's this Dad and son
• 27:27
  that come into the gym every morning together in the boys in
• 27:29
  fifth grade, and that's cute. Dad's like, good job. I wish I
• 27:34
  had done more of that when I was my kids were little, and I was
• 27:37
  like, Dad, all five of your kids work out on a regular basis like
• 27:40
  you did, just fine. Stop being so hard on yourself, but it's
• 27:44
  really sweet. Dad always wants to, like, recognize people. He's
• 27:46
  so sweet. But I did not work out. I mean, when, when Dave and
• 27:51
  I met, I was like, The gym is gross. You walked a lot because
• 27:55
  you had I was in I was in retail, and I was a store
• 27:58
  manager, and so I was before that, I was an assistant store
• 28:02
  manager, and so I was running around stores all day long. So I
• 28:06
  was naturally, you know, pretty thin, and just never, I was
• 28:10
  never strong, but I was like, fine. I never really needed to
• 28:13
  work out. I remember when I got promoted to a DM, and Kim Kiefer
• 28:16
  said, don't gain the freshman, freshman 15, because you're all
• 28:19
  of a sudden going to be in your car all the time. And guess what
• 28:22
  happened exactly that? And so. But anyways, when I had been,
• 28:26
  which was right before then I had been and then I was
• 28:28
  promoted, right away, I started going to the gym because I was
• 28:32
  like, Okay, well, I have to lose the last of this baby weight.
• 28:35
  And I started by saying, I'm gonna go for 21 days without
• 28:38
  quitting. I remember this, yes, living with Yeah, you were
• 28:41
  living with me. And so I would go 430 in the morning. Yeah,
• 28:44
  right. And so then again, it just 16 years later, here we
• 28:47
  are, and it's still part of our routine. But I think, to your
• 28:50
  point, it doesn't have to a lot of times I've worked with my
• 28:52
  coaching clients and said, All right, this week, or these two
• 28:55
  weeks before we meet again, I want you to be doing 10 push
• 28:57
  ups, 10 sit ups and 10 squats every day. Yeah, that's right,
• 29:00
  that's a great starting point. Just start with that body
• 29:02
  weight, and Mary, who you've, I think you've met Mary. Mary has
• 29:06
  lost 120 something pounds, maybe it's 150 actually, and now she
• 29:11
  goes to the gym every day, and it's like such a habit. And
• 29:14
  she's made this happen from something very, very small that
• 29:18
  she's morphed into a daily habit. And I think one piece
• 29:22
  that makes it easier when you're trying to do something,
• 29:25
  especially physical fitness, is an accountability partner. And
• 29:29
  for me, I have dad like, we live next door, we work out together
• 29:33
  every day. That's our that's our 6am call, yeah. And then on the
• 29:37
  weekends, Dave and I really push each other to be like, if we're
• 29:40
  not going to golf or play tennis, we're going to work out.
• 29:42
  To work out together. We're doing something physical
• 29:44
  together, and you have a similar story with your accountability
• 29:48
  partner, yeah?
• 29:50
  Well, I didn't have an accountability No, for a long
• 29:52
  time, but for me, working out was social, and that this goes
• 29:56
  back to habit stacking because I wanted a community. I'm very.
• 30:00
  Community driven. So I did a lot of group classes. So it wasn't
• 30:03
  that I saw the same person there every day, it was that I said
• 30:06
  hello to the teacher, and I got an endorphin rush and just those
• 30:09
  little connection points that made my day better because
• 30:12
  someone said, Hi Ashley, or just waved at me, yeah. And even if
• 30:15
  it was just the check in person at 5am and I was just going to
• 30:18
  the to the floor of the gym, so a really good way in is fitness
• 30:23
  classes, because you build community from there. For me,
• 30:27
  it's about I work out with one of my best friends, Holly, every
• 30:31
  day. I can't believe yes, we do seven days. We do seven days,
• 30:37
  yeah? Well, on Wednesdays, I work out with Megan,
• 30:40
  so we do six days, but I do seven days. Yeah, that's
• 30:43
  awesome. Yeah, and on, it's just walking on the weekends. Yeah,
• 30:46
  that's good. Isn't that such a good I always think that's like
• 30:49
  a break, like, when dad's like, I the headache. I'm like, just
• 30:51
  go walk. Like, it'll still feel like, movement, yes, it's hard
• 30:54
  because it's been cold, so I don't it's like, we're playing
• 30:57
  it by ear. We're trying to and they have a rule at our gym that
• 30:59
  you can only be on the cardio equipment for 30 minutes if
• 31:02
  somebody is waiting, which is a fair, that is fair, but we're we
• 31:06
  don't always know. So I'm like, let's go to my studio and dance.
• 31:10
  I keep trying to get her, Oh my gosh, wait, has she done it?
• 31:12
  Dance? She says that she will do it. It's coming. Finally find a
• 31:17
  video of somebody doing it, and be like, because I Okay, yeah,
• 31:20
  oh yeah, yeah. I forgot you have that, yeah. So mom came over
• 31:24
  twice this week and used our basement. So we have, like, an
• 31:27
  actual treadmill in the gym. And then in my office, I have a
• 31:30
  walking path, right? And I use them both if Dad and I for some
• 31:33
  reason, like if he's traveling and I won't go to the
• 31:36
  neighborhood gym, I'll just go to my basement gym, and I use it
• 31:39
  a lot in between sets. And then the one in my gym, in my office
• 31:42
  I use all the time. Like the walking pad is definitely for
• 31:46
  me. It's a huge life hack for footsteps and health. Yeah, I
• 31:49
  feel like it's the same for you.
• 31:51
  It's the same for me. I love well and for focus. I have ADHD,
• 31:55
  if I need to be in a meeting that I know will be
• 31:58
  boring, that will be hard to hold your attention.
• 32:01
  Yeah, that and I'll I'm a trainer too, so even when I'm
• 32:06
  sitting in trainings, I realize it's just hard to focus
• 32:11
  sometimes, and the phone is such a distraction, so I try to stay
• 32:14
  focused and moving well I am learning or listening is a great
• 32:18
  hack. If you have trouble staying focused. We don't need
• 32:22
  to be focused all the time at our job 100% but sometimes I do
• 32:25
  need, need that. And the movement the walking pad has
• 32:28
  been such a good way to to help me not feel stressed about
• 32:32
  trying to focus, and to make it easier to
• 32:34
  focus, I do the same thing ash. I mean, it's honestly like if
• 32:37
  I'm in an internal meeting, so meaning it's my team, and it's
• 32:42
  not a client meeting, or it's not a meeting with an external
• 32:47
  partner. I'm walking on my treadmill almost every time, and
• 32:51
  I do think 100% it's interesting, because we've not
• 32:53
  said this to each other, but I have said that to people like
• 32:56
  this keeps me focused. It actually keeps me from being
• 32:59
  distracted. If I am moving my feet and I can walk at a very
• 33:04
  reasonable pace and get two miles in an hour, yeah, and I'm
• 33:08
  not, like, right? It's distracted. Yeah, it's just
• 33:12
  happening, and that has been a huge factor. I'd like to know
• 33:16
  how many miles I logged on my walking pad this year, because I
• 33:20
  would say, on average, if I'm in the office, it's probably three
• 33:24
  to five miles a day. Yeah, that I walk in there. How about you?
• 33:29
  I don't know. I usually look at the steps, and I keep track on
• 33:32
  my watch too. I have no idea. I usually try for an hour, and it
• 33:36
  will kind of depend on my activity level that day, whether
• 33:41
  what speed I'm going at, and whether I have to talk, and
• 33:43
  then, honestly, sometimes, whether I feel like getting
• 33:45
  sweaty, because, yeah, sweat so easily.
• 33:48
  Yeah, I know it is hard. I feel like in the sauna, that's when I
• 33:51
  have to, like, really think about it, because I sweat in the
• 33:53
  sauna, and I don't want that. Yeah, I know it's good for you.
• 33:56
  So walking pad, we talked about red light masks,
• 33:59
  another thing I really appreciate or feel like
• 34:02
  optimizes me so I can be my best and serve everyone else. Is
• 34:08
  nutrition and yeah, and vitamins and supplements. There's a few
• 34:13
  key that I follow. Somebody named, bless you. Thank you.
• 34:16
  Rhonda Patrick, and she's very scientific, very data oriented.
• 34:22
  She talks about, like, some of the key supplements you should
• 34:25
  be taking, so fish oil, magnesium, of just a regular
• 34:30
  vitamin and vitamin D, so all of these things she'll outline,
• 34:35
  like, what improves with your cell function? Back to the red
• 34:38
  light. Like, yeah, it's all about making sure we can kind of
• 34:41
  decrease the damage and optimize our cell function, because those
• 34:45
  are the the pieces of our body, and if they're working
• 34:47
  correctly, then our body is I don't want my body to be the
• 34:50
  thing holding me back from being my best self. So taking care of
• 34:54
  my body is the number one priority so that I can take care
• 34:57
  of everyone else. And one of those things is. Vitamins and
• 35:00
  supplements. And, I mean, I can swallow like, 15 vitamins in one
• 35:05
  gulp. And, you know, it's just, I take a lot of them. I feel
• 35:09
  like they make a difference.
• 35:10
  I hate taking pills. Like I literally hate it. I would do an
• 35:15
  injection over a pill. If you could say to me, Lindsay, I'll
• 35:17
  put all those vitamins, yeah, in a vial. And you can inject it
• 35:21
  every day, or you can swallow these pills. I would choose the
• 35:24
  injection all day long.
• 35:26
  Well, you have many more opportunities to do that now,
• 35:28
  because these peptides. And I was just
• 35:30
  gonna say, it's a perfect conversation. I do take fish
• 35:34
  oils, one that I just it's such a big pill, yes. So I have,
• 35:38
  like, the little pill separators. I have day and
• 35:40
  night. Yes, me too. And I find a lot of times before I'm going to
• 35:44
  bed, I'm like, I don't want to take pills because it might not
• 35:46
  sit well, yes, in my breast. So I try to do it before dinner,
• 35:50
  or, like, around dinner time. Yeah, but the fish oil is one
• 35:54
  that I'm always like, I don't want to take that one. It's so
• 35:56
  big you can take a liquid and put it in your like, oh, that
• 35:58
  sounds delicious. It's not bad. It's not it could I do have a
• 36:02
  shake every day. Yeah? And part of as we talk about supplements
• 36:06
  I have, I always say I use the bravenly products, but I have
• 36:10
  gold, which is apple cider vinegar, ginger and turmeric,
• 36:13
  yeah, with greens, which I still need to get you those, because
• 36:16
  they're literally the only greens that I can stomach
• 36:18
  without feeling sick. Yes, I haven't had a lot of vegetables
• 36:21
  lately. I don't eat vegetables hardly ever colostrum, and then
• 36:25
  the protein has, like, all kinds of stuff in it. So I do that,
• 36:31
  and I know you do this also,
• 36:34
  what's it called the powder after you work out, creatine.
• 36:37
  Yeah. So that's all every day in the shake. And then I take a
• 36:41
  bunch of the same things that you're talking about and a
• 36:44
  couple of others, and you're you say that your shake doesn't
• 36:47
  taste bad, right? No, it's really good, actually. Yeah. So
• 36:49
  this is another example, like the things that are good for us.
• 36:53
  If we're creative and persistent, we can find ways to
• 36:55
  make it not miserable, like something that you actually look
• 36:59
  forward to. Yeah, that's how I feel about my yogurt protein
• 37:02
  bowl. I have been making this protein for years, and I love
• 37:06
  it. It's Greek yogurt, it's protein powder and a couple of
• 37:10
  other things to make the flavor good. And it is like what else
• 37:13
  is in it, because I want to try it. Okay, so, Faye, non fat,
• 37:17
  Greek yogurt, 170 grams. Can I make a different brand this? To
• 37:20
  you. Well, I've tried many Faye is, what do you like? Why?
• 37:24
  Because it's thick. It has, like, a really good texture.
• 37:27
  Doesn't get watery, and it's not too, like, Yeah, I like that.
• 37:31
  Oh, he goes, Oh, he goes, good too, yeah, they make one that's
• 37:35
  20 grams, yeah, that's what I usually buy. I think that's,
• 37:38
  that's similar. That would work, yeah. And then 21 grams of
• 37:43
  whipped cream cheese, 12 grams cream cheese, yeah, so it's a
• 37:48
  little bit lighter, lighter, yeah, okay. And pudding mix,
• 37:52
  sugar free pudding mix, you could do regular if you don't
• 37:55
  like the like, fake sugar, yeah. And protein powder, so you mix
• 38:00
  this all together really, really well. So it forms like a
• 38:03
  cheesecake consistency. If you need to add a little bit of
• 38:06
  almond milk, you can sometimes I make it with pumpkin puree, and
• 38:09
  then I put pumpkin spice in it, and it's like a pumpkin
• 38:12
  cheesecake. I top mine with sugar free whipped cream. And I
• 38:17
  look forward to this every day. And it's about 35 grams of
• 38:20
  protein, and the macros are really good. It's like, 300
• 38:23
  calories, 35 grams of protein. It's amazing and very filling.
• 38:28
  And just like easy to prepare. I sometimes prepare four at a
• 38:31
  time, so I can, you know, go in in the morning, look forward to
• 38:35
  that after my workout, eat that right away, and then make
• 38:38
  lunches and feed everybody else. And I don't have to, so it's
• 38:42
  okay to meal prep for yourself too, like you don't have to do
• 38:45
  this all with your family. You don't have to eat what your kids
• 38:48
  are eating for breakfast. And think about the things that you
• 38:52
  can control that don't affect the other people in your life.
• 38:54
  And that's the way I've been able to optimize these choices.
• 38:57
  Now I don't have to choose my breakfast every morning. And
• 38:59
  same thing with lunch. I usually have the same lunch every day.
• 39:02
  It's just dinner that I change it up and it makes it so that I
• 39:06
  can easily hit my goals and not be like, Oh, I accidentally
• 39:09
  gained five pounds this month, and now I have to work harder
• 39:13
  and adjust things, yeah, because we all just want to be able to
• 39:15
  fit in the same clothes we bought and, like, feel confident
• 39:18
  about who we are, we don't want to. And this is true. When I
• 39:20
  worked in durable medical equipment, it's all about
• 39:25
  insurance reimbursement. So they would give you like, let's say,
• 39:29
  a walker. Somebody has to walk with a walker for the rest of
• 39:32
  their life. Let's say so they would expect, Medicare would
• 39:36
  expect that you would need the next level up Walker like that
• 39:40
  would hold more weight with a certain timeframe, because they
• 39:44
  believe, based on data, that that adults are gaining five
• 39:49
  pounds a year their whole life. So then they would be like,
• 39:52
  you're going to be over the threshold for this Walker in 10
• 39:55
  years. And I saw this and was like, That is not going to be
• 39:59
  me. You, hell no, I'm not gonna have a sneaky five pounds added
• 40:04
  to my life for the rest of my life. I don't like focusing on
• 40:07
  weight and size, like, I think health comes in many different
• 40:11
  forms, but for me, like, I know how I feel, and when I was
• 40:16
  heavier, it wasn't as easy to be alive and feel good, right?
• 40:20
  Well, I think, you know, I've been on a journey and lost
• 40:23
  almost 30 pounds in the last few years. Yeah, and when you pick
• 40:27
  up a 30 pound dumbbell, or 215 pound dumbbells, I fully
• 40:31
  acknowledge that it's not the same as carrying it on your
• 40:33
  body, but the reality of that's a lot of it's the same. I think
• 40:37
  so too it, but it's not exactly the same, because, you know,
• 40:40
  whatever, but it's distributed differently. Yes, they need
• 40:43
  weighted joints, all the things can be so it's so much more
• 40:48
  pressure to put on your body, and you're less motivated to do
• 40:52
  more stuff when you have more weight. So I think you and I are
• 40:56
  on the same page with that. I want to talk about the nutrition
• 41:01
  fact. And I think there's two parts from what you said. One is
• 41:06
  the nutrition and being routine with what you eat. I am very
• 41:10
  boring with what it's the same thing. I have a shake, and then
• 41:13
  I have, because of speed, Costco has these Starbucks fake I mean,
• 41:19
  they do also carry Starbucks ones. I just happen to, like,
• 41:22
  bites, their egg white bites, and I have two of those. And my
• 41:25
  shake for breakfast, that's I make my shake as soon as I get
• 41:29
  done with my workout. And then after I'm, like, ready for the
• 41:31
  for work, for the day, I eat my, usually, Dave and I eat
• 41:34
  breakfast together. And then for like, I usually for a snack, I
• 41:37
  have cottage cheese, and recently I've added pickles to
• 41:41
  it, and that is the best thing ever. It's remember we were
• 41:44
  talking about it? Yes, I forgot that I put pickles. I bought the
• 41:47
  right kind of pickles, like the dill pickles, the littler ones.
• 41:50
  It's freaking unbelievable. You're gonna be obsessed with
• 41:53
  it. So cottage cheese is usually a snack, and then it depends. A
• 41:57
  lot of times I'm out at a lunch with a client, so I typically am
• 42:00
  still pretty consistent I do like a salmon or grilled chicken
• 42:03
  salad. Yeah, that's pretty much what I eat most times.
• 42:06
  Yesterday, I went to an AI workshop to learn how to
• 42:09
  integrate AI into your business, and they had sandwiches and
• 42:13
  salads and nothing was gluten free. So I was like, Okay, I
• 42:16
  guess I'm eating my snacks that are in my bag, which I is
• 42:19
  another hack. I always have something healthy with me, so
• 42:23
  that I'm never in a position where I say I have to eat
• 42:26
  McDonald's, because that's all there is I and it's a choice.
• 42:29
  Then it's like, do you want to have McDonald's, or do you want
• 42:32
  to eat the protein? Because I always have the probiotic
• 42:35
  things, the little Yes, those are like, yogurt bites. Yes,
• 42:38
  Costco. I love those. Me too. And then the chicken, chicken
• 42:41
  sausage stick and a protein bar, and so I always have those with
• 42:45
  me, so I can always be fine if you're in a pinch. Yeah? And
• 42:49
  then for dinner, it's the same thing. We mix up. Dinner is not
• 42:52
  always consistent, yeah, but we prioritize protein. That's
• 42:55
  another thing. Both of us
• 42:56
  prioritize family dinner, and that's, that's why you know
• 42:59
  you're you have to consider what everybody will eat, true? Well,
• 43:03
  yeah, yeah.
• 43:03
  And so family dinner, we do talk about it usually on Sundays. I'm
• 43:07
  like, does anyone have any votes? Because if you don't, I'm
• 43:09
  choosing, and you're going to just take what you get. And I
• 43:11
  didn't used to do that. I used to try to cater a lot more, and
• 43:14
  now I don't. But even when Dave and I go out to eat, we're
• 43:18
  pretty consistent with what we eat and the portions, right?
• 43:21
  Like, it's pretty rare I'm going to eat more than half of a meal,
• 43:25
  and a lot of times we end up just splitting stuff, because I
• 43:28
  know it just neither of us are going to eat as much. I have a
• 43:31
  much bigger appetite than that. I'm a such a sucker for French
• 43:34
  fries. But the routine with food, I think, keeps me from
• 43:39
  keeps both of us, I think, the same from having that creep that
• 43:42
  weight creep in, but also, like, I know how I'm gonna feel when I
• 43:45
  eat these things, because I eat them all the time. I know how
• 43:47
  much I'm gonna feel okay eating. I don't just kind of react. And
• 43:51
  I think with how fast the world goes by, sometimes you eat an
• 43:54
  entire whatever, and you don't really pay attention to how
• 43:57
  you're feeling, and then you're like, Whoa. I'm too full. I
• 43:59
  shouldn't have eaten all that. Right? Yeah. So the second
• 44:02
  factor that I wanted to bring up is eliminating decisions that
• 44:06
  don't need to be made on a daily basis. And food is one of those
• 44:09
  things. So talk to us about other examples that you use,
• 44:13
  because I know you do to minimize the this is decision
• 44:17
  fatigue is a real thing. Yes. And if you think about, how do
• 44:20
  you prevent yourself from having to make more decisions than
• 44:23
  necessary each day? And food is one of those. Like, I don't
• 44:27
  think. I don't stand in front of the fridge and go, What am I
• 44:29
  going to have for breakfast today? Hmm, even dinner. I'm
• 44:32
  like, okay, these are on a rotation. This is tonight. I've
• 44:34
  already gotten it pre that's good. This is what we're doing.
• 44:37
  I usually am pretty consistent. I need to adopt that. We really
• 44:40
  need, like a dinner calendar, and then to plan the groceries
• 44:44
  and all of this, I have grocery delivery. I do Walmart, plus
• 44:47
  they deliver to my door. They make it so easy for me to order
• 44:51
  the same thing over and over again. So all of those
• 44:53
  decisions, like going to the grocery store, when you have
• 44:55
  ADHD and you have kids with you, is really hard. Like. You have
• 45:00
  to have a plan. You can do it. You can definitely do it, but
• 45:03
  you should have a plan. And if I rely on 8pm Ashley to make a
• 45:08
  decision. APM, Ashley is terrible at decisions, like she
• 45:12
  needs to be off the clock, yeah. 4am Ashley is excellent, very
• 45:16
  good at decision. 5am I am peaking. It's great, but by 8am
• 45:21
  a PM, I'm off, I'm I won't, I don't trust that person.
• 45:25
  So the decision planning ahead, so that the decisions that you
• 45:29
  have to make are the only ones that you have to make that day,
• 45:32
  like the ones that you don't expect. And when you're working
• 45:35
  and you're in a meeting and you're making decisions and
• 45:38
  you're advising people, and you're determining how to spend
• 45:41
  your time for the day. Those are the decisions that that I want
• 45:44
  my brain power to go to, not what I'm going to eat and
• 45:47
  whether or not I'm going to work out that day, that stuff. And
• 45:50
  then you lead yourself to disappointment, like, how many
• 45:52
  times you have people who are like, I've been really bad. I
• 45:55
  didn't work out for the last week. I didn't, you know, I all
• 45:59
  the time. It was cookies for lunch the last week, or they was
• 46:03
  at work and they had this, and so I ate that instead of lunch.
• 46:05
  And you know, when you have these options already planned
• 46:08
  out, you don't end up in that situation as much, or you feel
• 46:11
  empowered to make that choice when it happens, right? You
• 46:14
  know, because it's your default to already make the good
• 46:16
  decision and which is stacked on top of the habit.
• 46:20
  Well, when you set up and go and say, I'll give an A not food
• 46:24
  example, yeah, but when you set yourself up and say, I know this
• 46:27
  is going to happen, so how am I going to combat that? And food
• 46:30
  is a great you know you're going I don't go anywhere to work. I
• 46:33
  at social things. I mean, yesterday I did go to a meeting.
• 46:35
  There's there's food there. But I'm gluten free, so that for me,
• 46:38
  eliminates a lot of those impulsive decisions, and I've
• 46:41
  been gluten free for 16 years. So before gluten free was a
• 46:44
  thing, I had been gluten free it was after I had been I just
• 46:47
  couldn't tolerate it anymore. And so I've been gluten free for
• 46:50
  16 years. It's great, honestly, there are so many, yeah, and
• 46:57
  like, I'm never gonna be tempted to eat a donut, because they're
• 47:00
  just I will feel horrible. Yeah, I can't do it, but I think about
• 47:04
  the barriers that we know are going to happen. So for us, like
• 47:08
  we go to church of the city, and there's, if anyone knows, Church
• 47:12
  of the city, Franklin is under major construction right now,
• 47:15
  building the village, which is incredible, but it's already a
• 47:19
  barrier for us to physically get to church of the city on
• 47:22
  Sundays, because it's about 35 minutes right then, you add in
• 47:25
  walking from the massive parking lot, and it's, we're talking 45
• 47:28
  minutes before the sermon. If we're going to get there and get
• 47:31
  coffee and get there, get sit down. I don't drink coffee, but
• 47:34
  my husband does, so he wants coffee at church. So he has
• 47:38
  stacked that habit. Yeah, it really is. You get a reward, and
• 47:41
  when he's in a meeting, that's when he drinks coffee. Like, if
• 47:44
  he has to sit in a meeting, that's when he has his coffee,
• 47:47
  and which is, anyways, interesting, but we've we found
• 47:52
  ourselves, like, coming up with excuses like, oh, you know, and
• 47:56
  we have kids in sports, so, like, a lot of times, Sunday is
• 47:59
  the only day when I'll have to leave our house, and we are home
• 48:02
  buddies. So we decided this year, default is virtual church
• 48:07
  at 1030 on our couch, and unless we say otherwise, that's what's
• 48:10
  happening on Sundays. And just putting that expectation and
• 48:14
  saying this was too hard for us right now, it's just the season
• 48:17
  that we're in, this is hard, but this is the next best thing. So
• 48:20
  this is what we're going to stick with, and we don't need to
• 48:23
  make a decision. It's what we're doing. The other thing is, it's
• 48:26
  on the calendar working out whatever, whatever the habit is
• 48:30
  that you're trying to create. Today, I had sauna and washed my
• 48:34
  hair before I started this podcast, and I did not feel like
• 48:38
  doing that, but it's on my calendar, so I do it because I
• 48:41
  know the smart me when I was thinking about what I really
• 48:45
  want more, not what I want. Now, put that on my calendar. Yeah, I
• 48:48
  want the health benefits of being in the sauna for 60
• 48:51
  minutes a week. I don't feel like doing it, but I know I
• 48:53
  should, yeah. And so using your calendar, and just saying, if
• 48:57
  it's on there, I'm going to treat it like a doctor's
• 48:59
  appointment and I'm going to it is another tip, commitment
• 49:02
  to yourself. And yeah, people really, I know people struggle
• 49:05
  with that, and they would, I have friends that would show up
• 49:08
  for me, you know, even if they didn't want to, but they won't
• 49:11
  show up for themselves. And that's why I think it's
• 49:14
  important to lower the bar. And you know, as we go into the new
• 49:18
  year and people think about who do they want to be next December
• 49:21
  or think I want people to think about lowering the bar, and what
• 49:25
  is the entry point for that habit? Not I want to work out
• 49:29
  two hours a day, but what can I do right now, like tomorrow, to
• 49:33
  fit 20 minutes of activity in? And one great example,
• 49:37
  lunchtime, like all of us are taking lunch, we all hopefully
• 49:41
  know that it's great to get a little bit of walking in after
• 49:44
  you eat. It's great for digestion and blood sugar. This
• 49:47
  is an opportune time to do a little bit of activity right
• 49:51
  after you eat before you go back to work. It makes work a lot
• 49:54
  smoother when you just move your body and get the blood flowing a
• 49:57
  little bit. Is that something you can commit to for? 10
• 50:00
  minutes a day, five days a week. Yeah. And then that the amazing
• 50:04
  thing about being human, and like the way that the world
• 50:07
  works, the way that existence works, is these things add up
• 50:11
  over time, and suddenly you've walked five times in a week.
• 50:14
  Suddenly it's easier to say, want to go for a walk together,
• 50:17
  and you're walking an hour instead of 10 minutes. It really
• 50:21
  the momentum, like becomes a factor in all of this. And
• 50:25
  you'll find that these small choices lead to bigger,
• 50:29
  excellent outcomes that you can't really predict, but you
• 50:32
  just have to get started. That's the that's the thing. Make a
• 50:35
  couple of choices. The new year is the time when everybody's
• 50:38
  going to pressure you into what do you want to change? And I
• 50:41
  know that there's a whole like narrative around we don't need
• 50:45
  to change, like, just be happy with who you are. But I I'm
• 50:49
  obsessed with growth, and I think all of us can be a little
• 50:52
  bit better than we were last year. So pick something that
• 50:56
  that actually serves you. Don't let it be guilt, but think about
• 50:59
  what can I give to myself this year. Can I give a little bit of
• 51:02
  activity so that I don't gain five pounds like every other
• 51:06
  Yeah, person, well, we're
• 51:08
  habitual, and the older we get, I love your points. And the
• 51:10
  older we get, the easier it becomes to just do what we've
• 51:14
  always done. And then you turn around and you're like, Wow, I
• 51:18
  can't believe I'm doing that. Or why? What is the purpose, and so
• 51:21
  one of my best practices is that in December, I mean, I probably
• 51:25
  drive my entire team and my husband crazy because I'm
• 51:29
  literally thinking about every activity, every thing we're
• 51:32
  spending money on, every behavior that's happening, every
• 51:36
  habit we have, how we're spending every hour I have our
• 51:39
  trips and vacations planned for the entire year. That makes him
• 51:42
  insane. He's like, just keep me through January, please. But all
• 51:45
  those things I analyze, what can we do better? And I think about,
• 51:50
  I don't know if I've told you this, but when I teach, I've
• 51:53
  done this for several years, but when I teach planning sessions
• 51:57
  for months, quarters, years, I look at six categories. And
• 52:01
  there's six categories that I break down. What are my goals
• 52:03
  this year? In that category, and I've done this for many, many
• 52:06
  years, it's faith, family, fitness and fitness and health,
• 52:10
  finance, business and community. So within those six categories,
• 52:13
  what are my goals? What did I do this year that worked really
• 52:16
  well. How do I how do I build upon that? And sometimes it's
• 52:19
  like, I don't have a growth goal in that area. It's a maintenance
• 52:23
  goal. And sometimes it's a huge growth goal in one area and the
• 52:27
  other. It's like, well, you know, one thing that's important
• 52:30
  to me is one on one time with the most important people in my
• 52:33
  family, yeah, who have I not getting enough time with? I'm
• 52:36
  always asking, Mom, do you want to start like, yoga or something
• 52:39
  together? So we have something we do? We do walk together quite
• 52:42
  frequently, not as much as I'd like, because she walks when I'm
• 52:45
  already like working for the day. It's easier if we can go
• 52:49
  early, but on the weekends, I will as she walk. Wants to walk.
• 52:51
  So, yeah, I think we've got to always think about, how do we
• 52:55
  get better? And when we stop trying to grow, we kind of find
• 52:58
  ourselves just stagnant and then also not as happy. I think
• 53:03
  growth fuels that internal happiness.
• 53:06
  Yeah, I've been I've seen a couple of things. Maybe other
• 53:10
  people have seen this where, like hospice nurses talk about
• 53:14
  what people say at the end of their life, what were their
• 53:16
  regrets? And I don't remember all of them, but the one that
• 53:21
  couple that speak to me are like they regret the things they
• 53:24
  didn't do, the chances they didn't take, and that I really,
• 53:29
  I don't want to end up in that position like our number one,
• 53:34
  taking care of our bodies. Our bodies are the thing that are
• 53:37
  going to eventually
• 53:38
  kill us. Let's keep our engine running. Yeah, keep our engine
• 53:43
  running as best as we can, make sure that we're doing all of
• 53:45
  those health things. And then number two, making sure that
• 53:49
  we're being intentional about the time. And sometimes we don't
• 53:52
  want to show up and do the things that we want to do when
• 53:55
  it's presented to us, but planning ahead is a great way to
• 53:59
  make sure that you make the decision, so you don't have to
• 54:02
  make the dishes in the moment, right? Yeah, and I think you
• 54:05
  brought up family dinners. I do want to, I do want to give a nod
• 54:08
  to that, because that's something that has been integral
• 54:11
  since, even since we were children, we had family dinners.
• 54:14
  Growing up, it was just expected. We were eating dinner
• 54:17
  together as a family. I think when I was like a junior and
• 54:19
  senior in high school, was probably a little bit more lax,
• 54:22
  because I was working. Because I was working, but family dinners
• 54:24
  were Yeah, unless you were had an obligation, like you were
• 54:27
  working or at a practice you were at dinner, yeah, dinner,
• 54:30
  yeah, and we were home. And we still do that. It's not every
• 54:34
  night, because I do have two teenagers, so like a lot of
• 54:37
  nights, it'll end up like last night Isabelle was babysitting,
• 54:40
  and we were at Ben's game, and so dinner after the game was
• 54:43
  just Dave and Ben and I. A lot of times it's me and the boys.
• 54:47
  Now it's just the three of us. And then there's every Wednesday
• 54:50
  night we do date night. So that's like, the kids know
• 54:53
  that's they don't have to be home for dinner because that's
• 54:56
  date night. Yeah, but we've flexed on that a little bit
• 54:58
  while we still have been doing it. But with change in
• 55:01
  schedules, it's been a little bit easier to not always have to
• 55:04
  do that. But family dinner is something that we are pretty
• 55:07
  pretty we've stick pretty hard to that, like we're gonna look
• 55:11
  at the calendar on Sunday and go, who has what commitments,
• 55:14
  because we have to come together as a family at least three or
• 55:16
  four times a week.
• 55:17
  That's amazing, and it's so good for the outcomes for your
• 55:20
  children. There's all these little like tidbits about how to
• 55:24
  give your kids the best life possible, and family dinner is
• 55:28
  one that always shows up on that kids do better when they have
• 55:31
  these consistent routines. That's something I have never
• 55:34
  fluctuated on with my children, is they are very routine. It's
• 55:38
  actually something I think people give me advice about
• 55:41
  being more relaxed with but it's been so good for my mental
• 55:44
  health to know my kids are always going to be napping from
• 55:47
  this time to this time, and we're going to get up at this
• 55:50
  time. We're going to go to bed at this time, like we've been
• 55:53
  over at mom and dad's. And I think one time we got home at
• 55:56
  like, nine o'clock and I was like, You guys, this is the
• 55:59
  latest you have ever stayed up very late.
• 56:01
  I bet Jenny was like, Are you serious? Yeah, right. I can see
• 56:04
  her eyes. It's so late. Am I gonna get in trouble?
• 56:07
  But that's not always how that every family isn't that way. But
• 56:10
  I think kids really crave routine and those meaningful
• 56:13
  interactions that they can rely on, even if from 16 to 18, Ben
• 56:18
  doesn't have family dinner every night, he's still going to tell
• 56:22
  his friends and his kids. We always did family dinner every
• 56:25
  night. That's still the impression,
• 56:26
  yeah, and we still will make the kids. I mean, yeah, even
• 56:30
  Isabelle at 18, she still lives with us, so we still expect that
• 56:34
  she's going to be there, not every night she has she can
• 56:37
  communicate what she has going on. We don't expect her to,
• 56:40
  like, skip something, to be at family dinner. But you know, we
• 56:42
  do expect there's communication on Sundays. We talk about, like,
• 56:45
  after church, we pull out the I pull out the calendar, and,
• 56:48
  like, all right, this is what we have going on this week. This is
• 56:51
  what's important to you. Like, what do you have on your
• 56:53
  calendar that you haven't showed me yet? Isabelle, that's a
• 56:56
  great. Happy job. Yeah, thanks. So then, then I do the grocery
• 56:58
  shopping. It's like, okay, let me Instacart, Walmart and
• 57:01
  Instacart. Yes, everything. We need to have the meals for the
• 57:04
  week, and so by Sunday afternoon, I don't have to think
• 57:07
  about schedules or meals for the rest of the week. That's great.
• 57:12
  I do the thinking on Sunday. And I think that is one major hack,
• 57:17
  yeah, that has helped me be successful in business, because
• 57:19
  I can go into the day and I'm not worried, what am I gonna
• 57:21
  make for dinner tonight? It's like, tonight? It's like, what?
• 57:24
  How's Ben gonna get to practice? It's no, everything's figured
• 57:26
  out. I can focus on what I'm doing right now. Family meeting
• 57:29
  on Sunday, yeah? Family meeting on Sunday. That's a good idea.
• 57:31
  Yeah, we do that. And then another thing we do, I think
• 57:33
  that is a really positive thing, is the highs and lows. Yeah, at
• 57:37
  dinner, the kids love that. And we have a lot of friends that
• 57:40
  come over and say they love off doing highs and lows, and mom
• 57:43
  and dad are usually with us a few nights a week for dinner.
• 57:46
  Typically, that's awesome. So many routines. I think it all
• 57:50
  comes back to routine for me in order to be successful. And I
• 57:53
  know we kind of came into this saying, how do we what do we do
• 57:57
  in our life to make sure that we can be a good parent and a good
• 58:00
  employee. We didn't talk a lot about work, but I'm sure that
• 58:03
  your listeners have received a lot of information, yeah, over
• 58:07
  the time. But all of this leads to better outcomes as an
• 58:10
  employee because I'm taken care of. I have a time of my
• 58:14
  employment where I'm like, back to back eight to eight to four
• 58:20
  every day doing onboarding, virtually, onboarding people.
• 58:24
  And for two years, knock on wood. This is, this is going to
• 58:27
  be the year I have not gotten sick once or called out once for
• 58:30
  these three months of just every day showing Yeah, and it's
• 58:34
  because I'm healthy, because I take care of myself, because
• 58:37
  even if I have a little tickle in my throat, like the vitamins
• 58:40
  in my body are fighting this for me, and I'm not exhausted, and
• 58:43
  so those things lead to me being a better employee. And there's
• 58:47
  there's statistics about this too, where people who are active
• 58:51
  have a fitness routine, are better employees. They're more
• 58:53
  consistent, they're promoted more they're paid more like all
• 58:56
  of these things compound into being a higher performing human.
• 59:01
  And for me, it's not about what can I how much money can I make
• 59:05
  as a high performing human? It's about what can I do that that
• 59:08
  honors this life I've been given so I can be the best person I
• 59:12
  can be and really make the most out of this life. For God, you
• 59:16
  know, for humanity,
• 59:18
  I love that. I love everything that you just said, the whole
• 59:22
  like, being in your the best version of you, physically. Why
• 59:28
  would you not give yourself every advantage? Yeah? Is like,
• 59:31
  I think a point of what we're saying, yeah, and you're right.
• 59:34
  Everything we talked about, it's like prep for the show of when
• 59:39
  you can show up for others in for work, right? Whatever your
• 59:42
  work is that you're doing, all this stuff is what fuels you and
• 59:45
  gets you ready. I do want to say one more thing about fewer
• 59:48
  decisions. I don't really think about what I'm going to wear
• 59:50
  very often, and I make that decision in advance, and that
• 59:53
  was something we learned growing up. We always had to have our
• 59:55
  outfit picked out the night before school. We were not
• 59:58
  allowed probably, because I'm sure. One of us, or both of us,
• 1:00:01
  had a little temper tantrum at some point about what to wear
• 1:00:04
  before school. And so only once, that definitely only happened.
• 1:00:07
  So it became a rule that we had to have as kids, we had to have
• 1:00:12
  it picked up before, and Isabelle does that still, yeah,
• 1:00:15
  I think I don't look at Ben's room, but I have seen him. I
• 1:00:19
  mean, he's very particular about what he wears. And so they both
• 1:00:22
  kind of, I think, prep, like, yeah, even Sunday, Isabel said,
• 1:00:26
  Can I wear the white aviator sweatsuit on Tuesday? Mom? And I
• 1:00:29
  was like, Sure, wow. Because we, you know, we share a lot of
• 1:00:32
  clothes, yeah. So picking out your clothes, and then also,
• 1:00:35
  like, having a uniform, yes. So when I go to the gym, I'm gonna
• 1:00:39
  wear the same kind of outfit different colors. Like, I don't
• 1:00:43
  think about it, but it is laid out the night before, so I'm
• 1:00:45
  literally not making that decision. Just waking up, what
• 1:00:49
  I'm going to wear during the day, if I'm working at home, is
• 1:00:51
  probably going to be pretty consistent in different colors
• 1:00:54
  every day. Dave's like, do you really need the same thing in
• 1:00:56
  four colors? Yes, I do. Yeah, I do. Actually, that's my uniform.
• 1:00:59
  Yeah, that's my uniform, actually. And then when I'm
• 1:01:01
  going to work, I have, you know, this shirt in three colors, and
• 1:01:04
  I have the button down I like in three colors. I have the same
• 1:01:07
  shoes in two different colors. So I think minimizing your
• 1:01:10
  decisions and, like, figuring out this probably really, I
• 1:01:13
  didn't get really comfortable until I was in my 40s. Of like,
• 1:01:17
  what am I most comfortable wearing? What do I like? And I
• 1:01:19
  think you're in the same place too. Of like, you're not in your
• 1:01:22
  40s yet, but in the same place, of like, I know what I feel good
• 1:01:25
  in. I feel best in. And I don't really need to, like, explore.
• 1:01:29
  Like, we'll shop Izzy, and I will go shop, and I'm like,
• 1:01:31
  well, that's cute, but, like, I don't need it. It's not gonna,
• 1:01:35
  like, fit in my
• 1:01:36
  I definitely feel like having a personal style is a good a good
• 1:01:40
  hack for not making decisions and it I wish that I had, like,
• 1:01:46
  done a personal stylist early. Now I feel like I'm I'm mature
• 1:01:51
  enough that I figured it out on my own. I can, like, label what
• 1:01:54
  my personal style is. If it's not within that, then I know
• 1:01:57
  that it's not really going to go with my wardrobe and also having
• 1:02:00
  a color palette, like I did one of those free, online color
• 1:02:04
  palette assessments, and now I only buy things that are in that
• 1:02:07
  color palette. I like them. I think that they're the they
• 1:02:11
  paint me in the most flattering, like flattering light. So that
• 1:02:13
  kind of limited my options as well. So that helps with, like,
• 1:02:18
  not being overwhelmed with shopping, which is something
• 1:02:20
  that I always experienced. And then the uniform thing
• 1:02:23
  definitely, like, if it's not within that style, then I'm not
• 1:02:27
  going to buy it. Yeah, yeah. And I like to, like, look at things.
• 1:02:31
  Like, I think our sister and our sisters in law, sisters, yeah,
• 1:02:36
  sisters, yeah. Both have, like, really nice taste. And like, I
• 1:02:39
  always look at stuff on Sloan. I'm like, she looks amazing. I
• 1:02:42
  would not be able to pull that off, like, but I'm gonna admire
• 1:02:45
  it on her. I'm not gonna go try that style because I love it on
• 1:02:48
  her, yeah, because it fits her. But it wouldn't be my it
• 1:02:51
  wouldn't look I wouldn't feel right. That's not me, yeah? But
• 1:02:54
  I think my point is it's okay to enjoy looking at a style or
• 1:02:57
  admire it on somebody else and not have to make it yours, yes,
• 1:03:00
  or experiment and try it well. And we both do newly Yeah,
• 1:03:06
  because it is still fun to experiment with new styles. And
• 1:03:09
  sometimes you find something you want to wear one time, but you
• 1:03:12
  don't need it in your closet forever. So that's been a good
• 1:03:15
  option to curb my shopping.
• 1:03:17
  I totally agree that's another half is newly, and it's $100 a
• 1:03:23
  month. We get six pieces Isabelle, and I split it so we
• 1:03:26
  get each get three, and it's totally fine for both of us.
• 1:03:29
  And they have a great thrift option. They have. You can buy
• 1:03:32
  thrifted pieces there if you find something that you like,
• 1:03:34
  and you can purchase what you have. I've gotten many items
• 1:03:37
  that were brand new, and then I purchased them.
• 1:03:40
  What was I gonna say about this? I can't remember. Well, while
• 1:03:44
  you're
• 1:03:44
  thinking about it, I wore last, last rental. We Isabelle and I
• 1:03:48
  both were like, This was awesome. Yeah, I had a birthday
• 1:03:50
  party for a friend, one of my closest friends, to go to, and
• 1:03:53
  it was, like, a pink theme, yeah, I don't want to own a pink
• 1:03:56
  sparkly dress, but I rented one, and it was perfect. It was like,
• 1:03:59
  the perfect dress for that occasion. And I forget what else
• 1:04:02
  I wore, but it was like or what else I rented, but it was
• 1:04:04
  occasion specific. Yeah, things I Oh, I know, Christmas
• 1:04:07
  pictures, yeah, the skirt I had on, I rented two different ones
• 1:04:11
  for Christmas. Oh, that was from newly Yes, the plaid that, I
• 1:04:14
  mean, it was too big. I had to clip it in the back, but I had a
• 1:04:16
  plaid one and a red one. I got two, and I didn't end up wearing
• 1:04:20
  the red one, but it would have worked, yeah? But I was really
• 1:04:22
  happy that I didn't buy an outfit for pictures and I didn't
• 1:04:25
  have to buy a dress for an event. So newly, it's one of the
• 1:04:29
  things. As we get to, like, week three of the month, Isabel and I
• 1:04:31
  fill the cart, fill like, all right, this is what do we have
• 1:04:34
  going on next month that we're going to want? Yeah, items for
• 1:04:36
  and it's turned out perfectly to, like, curb that shopping,
• 1:04:40
  right? You don't really have to shop, because you and it's and
• 1:04:43
  we do live in a community where that is consuming more than, I
• 1:04:47
  think, the average American community. So there is that
• 1:04:50
  pressure to, like, not repeat outfits. Like, I literally feel
• 1:04:52
  that pressure, which is so stupid, but especially for an
• 1:04:55
  event or, like, Christmas pictures, you don't want to wear
• 1:04:57
  the same thing you wore last year. Totally. Pictures. I mean,
• 1:05:01
  not that anyone remember, right? Yeah, right. I mean, they're on
• 1:05:05
  my Facebook page forever, so they are there if you want to
• 1:05:08
  audit it, but that's a great option to just one time and not
• 1:05:12
  have to own it, and then you can try something else next year or
• 1:05:15
  rent it again next year. I definitely think that's a good
• 1:05:18
  yeah. Newly has been a really good hack. So we talked about a
• 1:05:20
  ton of things today. I know we're out of time, but we could
• 1:05:24
  sit here and talk about life hacks and everything forever.
• 1:05:27
  But, you know, I think about we, although we came from the same
• 1:05:32
  home, same parents, yes, all five of us kids have the same
• 1:05:36
  parents, and they're still married. They live next door to
• 1:05:38
  me. We have a lot of the same life hacks, and we grew up
• 1:05:43
  together, but we've also had our separate times living in
• 1:05:46
  different areas. We have we found our way on these life
• 1:05:48
  hacks independently. That's my point. Is that, like, we didn't,
• 1:05:53
  it wasn't like we always shared these, like, just kind of, it's
• 1:05:55
  like, oh, you're doing that too. Yeah. Oh, okay, that's cool. We
• 1:05:59
  do share things. And you brought up the toothbrush, putting it by
• 1:06:01
  your toothbrush when I used to sell used to sell rode in and
• 1:06:03
  fields and lash boost, I would always be like, put it by your
• 1:06:06
  toothbrush. So How funny is that, that we would both get had
• 1:06:09
  given that advice to someone. So I think hopefully today
• 1:06:13
  listeners heard something that they can take into their life
• 1:06:17
  and just either implement something new or adjust
• 1:06:20
  something that they want to change, or try something that
• 1:06:23
  makes them feel better about themselves. And worst case, you
• 1:06:26
  just heard from us that like it's okay to put yourself first
• 1:06:29
  right. And that is not selfish. It's selfless. It's actually
• 1:06:32
  selfish to put other people first and then show up poorly
• 1:06:35
  for them. So you're better off putting yourself first. And I
• 1:06:38
  think we've figured out a way to kind of balance all of that my
• 1:06:40
  kids are going to have to take care of me when I'm aging. I
• 1:06:43
  really want to delay that as long as possible. I want to, you
• 1:06:46
  know, so I think it feels selfish because of their the
• 1:06:51
  stigma, but in the end, you're really serving everyone else by
• 1:06:54
  remaining independent and strong and healthy for as long as you
• 1:06:57
  can. Yeah, thank you for coming back. You know, you have a lot
• 1:07:02
  going on. You've got a three year old with a broken arm at
• 1:07:04
  home, second broken arm in two months.
• 1:07:07
  Yeah, yeah. Traumatic. Traumatic. It was.
• 1:07:11
  I did sign up for a CPR and first aid course, because when
• 1:07:14
  it happened and his arm was visibly broken, I couldn't
• 1:07:21
  function. I was like, so shocked. And everyone is like,
• 1:07:24
  even if you're trained, you're you still might feel that way.
• 1:07:26
  But I am such a like, I am a person who follows the book, and
• 1:07:31
  I need to read the book. I need someone to teach me the book of
• 1:07:34
  what to do in an emergency, how to assess it, what to do first,
• 1:07:38
  like, you know, if there's a broken bone, stabilize it and
• 1:07:41
  move it. I just none of that stuff came to me. I should
• 1:07:43
  probably do that with you. I'll send you the details. Yeah, in
• 1:07:46
  my neighborhood, because I don't, I
• 1:07:49
  don't have little kids, but that doesn't mean I won't be around
• 1:07:51
  them. I mean, we have a young nephew, right, who will be one
• 1:07:55
  this month, and, you know, there's, you just never know.
• 1:07:59
  And then you have your two kids. I mean, I don't know, live next
• 1:08:01
  to mom and
• 1:08:01
  dad, who are getting old, that's for sure. So maybe you girl,
• 1:08:06
  it's gonna be us.
• 1:08:07
  Girl, we're in this together. I actually thought you
• 1:08:11
  handled it well. It was a pretty traumatic moment, and I thought
• 1:08:14
  you handled it. Andrew, excellent. I think you guys
• 1:08:17
  handled it. You both handled it well. I texted him and told him
• 1:08:20
  that I think you guys both did. Ben was standing over him, and
• 1:08:22
  Ben just, Ben just goes, Dad, like, Ben was like, something's
• 1:08:27
  wrong with Alex. He could just, I think he stayed so calm. Alex
• 1:08:32
  handled it at the best of anybody, he really did. He was
• 1:08:34
  amazing. He was just like, Well, I told you at the at the
• 1:08:40
  hospital where, like, Alex, you have to stop jumping and playing
• 1:08:44
  rough, you're gonna keep getting hurt. Have to stop jumping off
• 1:08:47
  of furniture. And he was like, I'm not gonna stop.
• 1:08:53
  That's so Alex though broken arm. Like, don't move. Your arm
• 1:08:56
  is broken. I'm not gonna stop. He was like, that's fine. It's
• 1:08:59
  worth it. I think that that's a boy thing too, but now he's sad
• 1:09:02
  he I mean, he needs to learn. He's bummed
• 1:09:05
  about it. But, yeah, that's parenting, and you figured out
• 1:09:08
  how to work and do everything while still managing a baby with
• 1:09:11
  a broken arm, not a baby, but your baby. He is my baby. He's
• 1:09:15
  only three. I mean, yeah, I think he's still a baby. He's
• 1:09:18
  not a baby. I can still pick him up. Yeah, I can still pick up
• 1:09:21
  Ben, really, barely. I'm strong enough. I mean, he's 510 can,
• 1:09:27
  like, pick him up and put him down. He's 510 I don't know how
• 1:09:30
  much he weighs. He definitely weighs more than me, but
• 1:09:33
  I should say I can carry him. Yeah, he's still in a crib.
• 1:09:36
  I did tell, yeah, I did tell Ben that for Christmas, I want him
• 1:09:40
  to just let me snuggle with him for two minutes.
• 1:09:43
  Oh my gosh. I can't believe you just said that on a recording.
• 1:09:46
  Mom, I'm not giving you that gift, and I'm like, it doesn't
• 1:09:50
  cost you anything. That's what I want for Christmas.
• 1:09:53
  Oh my gosh. I was holding Alex last night thinking, How many
• 1:09:56
  more times can I do
• 1:09:58
  I used to do that all the time. Just think. When is it? I hope I
• 1:10:00
  don't want it to stop. But every phase is beautiful. Every phase
• 1:10:04
  they're in is my favorite. It always is. I was like, I'm gonna
• 1:10:06
  get a puppy.
• 1:10:09
  I need a very affectionate puppy. Well, we have the cats
• 1:10:13
  that they definitely are. It helps, right? It does. Nola sits
• 1:10:16
  with me all the time. Yeah? It's nice to have just the physical,
• 1:10:20
  the warmth of another
• 1:10:21
  being, yeah, yeah. Well, thank you for coming back. I know you
• 1:10:26
  may. I know you made this a priority today, and I appreciate
• 1:10:28
  you coming back. I mean, we talk every day, and I love our
• 1:10:32
  conversations, and I love that my audience gets to hear you
• 1:10:35
  have so much value to add. I love that you were able to share
• 1:10:38
  that with them today. So thank you for being here. I love you.
• 1:10:41
  Thank you for listening. Thanks for tuning in to Lindsay
• 1:10:44
  Stafford show. This was Ashley plored, my sister, my only
• 1:10:48
  sister, with me today, and I hope you've picked up some life
• 1:10:51
  hacks. She has a lot to share. We do a lot of back and forth
• 1:10:53
  sharing things, and she's got a lot of things to share. She's
• 1:10:55
  extremely intelligent and knows how to function and make
• 1:10:58
  everything work. So I hope you took some things today. If you
• 1:11:00
  found value in this episode, please, Like, Share, Comment,
• 1:11:03
  Rate, review and subscribe, and we'll see you back here next
• 1:11:06
  time you.