Latest / She Speaks to Scale / 12. How to Make a Great First Impression (And Why it Starts Before You've Even Said a Word)
Transcript
- Sarah Collins: Thank you for listening to this episode of She Speaks to Scale. If you liked the episode or you think it will be useful for someone else, please follow and leave a review. If you've got any questions, do let me know via the social handles in the show notes. And remember to speak with intention, not hesitation, and let your voice be heard. How do you greet someone? Are you a hugger, a nod, and a smile, or perhaps you're of the age where you still offer a handshake? Do you crave eye contact, or is it something that you shy away from? First impressions count, and when I worked in TV, we often had to brief celebrities before they were interviewed on the show. Hello and welcome to She Speaks to Scale with me, Sarah Collins. The podcast that empowers women in business to own their voice, be heard and create impact, one communication insight at a time. I'm a media trainer and communication coach and a former senior television producer. It's my mission to bring the communication skills we need to thrive in today's world of business to the generation of women who simply weren't taught them. And to this day, although I'm not going to name any names, I can remember the ones that made a great first impression and the ones that definitely did not. Now in psychology, there is a seven-second rule which dictates that within moments of meeting a stranger, your brain makes a permanent judgment about them. Seven seconds. That's sometimes before you've even said a word. Whether it's scaling your voice to step into thought leadership in a media interview, speaking with confidence on camera, on stage and beyond, or scaling the way you communicate when it really counts. This podcast will help you use your voice to be heard in the moments that matter. Psychologists call this thin slicing, it's the cognitive ability to make accurate judgments based on very limited information. So, how are you being portrayed in just seven seconds? Now, today's episode was inspired by a report I read recently that the handshake is set to become a thing of the past. As a quarter of Gen Z, that's anyone born between 1997 and 2012. They say that social anxiety means they simply cannot greet strangers in the traditional way. The survey commissioned by ACS International Schools, Established for American Students in Britain, surveyed 2,000 teenagers, and 92% are more comfortable communicating online than they are in person, which I find absolutely staggering. Now I know personally I always used to shake hands with someone upon meeting them, particularly in the corporate space. And obviously, when we had COVID and we weren't able to interact with other people, so that put a stop to it. And I remember thinking once back networking and meeting other people, that I was hesitant to shake hands because we'd gone through this period where. Touching another person, having that physical touch just was not allowed. understand slightly why ⁓ those statistics are so high because of that generation that has lived through that period. got me thinking, though, if the way we greet people is changing, how we make sure we're still making a great first impression? Because whether you're walking into a networking event, sitting down for a podcast interview, or appearing on camera first impressions are everything. now I want to talk about something which is often overlooked, but it's noticed immediately Before anyone's clocked your posture, heard your voice, registered your they have felt your ⁓ energy. ⁓ Are you present or somewhere else entirely? ⁓ Are you confident or is imposter syndrome kicking in? Are you genuinely pleased to be in the room or are you already wishing you were somewhere else? Your energy speaks volumes. so I want you to ask yourself, am I showing up in the best energy I have now? ⁓ And if the answer is no, ⁓ then what do I need to do to shift that? I work with my clients to understand how they bring their best energy to an interview or speaking opportunity. And for some it's a walk in nature, exercise, feeling grounded in the moment, and many other things, but it's about finding out what works for you and making sure that you schedule that in when it is needed. So you're really bringing your best energy into the room. let's get into the breakdown of what actually creates a first impression, and the research here is fascinating. Now there's something called the 73855 rule, and it's from communication expert Albert Mehabrian. He breaks down the impact that we have into visual, vocal tone, and your actual words. So 55% is your nonverbal communication. That is what we are seeing visually. More than half of your first impression is made before you've even spoken a single word. Your posture, your eye contact, how you carry yourself as you enter a room, all of it is communicating something. I'll be honest, posture is something I've had to actively work on myself, and I do still every day. It's easy to shrink, especially in unfamiliar rooms or high-pressure situations, but standing tall, taking up that space, and meeting someone's eyes signals confidence and openness. And eye contact, in particular, builds trust quickly. It says, I see you, I'm here, you have my full attention. So that is something we definitely do not want to miss. And thirty eight percent is your vocal tone. This is not what you say but how you say it. So the warmth, the steadiness, the pace of your voice. In broadcasting, A warm, measured, calm and composed voice signals competence before the content has even landed with your audience. And that's what I teach, particularly spokespeople with the work that I do. If you rush, your nerves show, if you slow down, even slightly immediately come across as more assured, and a smile in your voice creates warmth that can draw people in as well. So don't forget that. And 7%, yes, 7% is your actual words. In those first seven seconds, the content matters the least. But when you do speak, what you say has an immediate impact. So we have to make it count. Which brings me to one of the most important tools you can have ready: your introduction. I want you to know this inside out. The answer to what do you do? Make it clear, confident, and just intriguing enough to make someone want to know more. not so much that you've told them everything, not so little that they're none the wiser, ⁓ just enough to spark curiosity. when it is time to speak, these are the four most common mistakes I see a person make, So the first one is ⁓ trying to say too much, You've just met someone, and before you've even had a chance to draw a breath, they have told you everything about who they are, what they do, their entire backstory, and what they're offering. And as a listener, it's really overwhelming. Rather than being curious, they actually might start looking for a way out Less is more in those first moments. second is underselling by being too vague or too modest. This is the other extreme, and I'm sure we've all experienced somebody just mumbling something about ⁓ I just do this or that, and it leaves you absolutely none the wiser. And sometimes you have to ask even more questions just to tease out more information. So you want to find the balance. Enough clarity to intrigue another person, but not so much that they switch off. You don't want to confuse them. you want them to be about what you do. Number three is letting nerves take over physically. And I know from experience when you're in a highly stressful or it's something you've not incurred before, ⁓ this is hard to manage, it's a skill that you can master. So things like going red, avoiding eye contact, closing off your body language, speaking far too quickly. These things happen but they can put people off before you've barely begun. And we don't want to eliminate the nerves completely. ⁓ It's just about managing them, ⁓ mastering your state, ⁓ raising your confidence, and reminding that you can handle whatever your way. ⁓ And number four is not listening at And this is really frustrating when trying to have a two-way conversation and the other person is clearly distracted in way. ⁓ I've read a lot of books on communication, and one of the first things that came to mind when I was crafting this podcast episode is Stephen Covey's Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. He talks about seeking first to understand rather than speaking to respond. And we naturally speak to respond. So when another person is talking, we're thinking about what's our response to this. whereas actually it's a skill that we have to learn. To really listen, actively listen and seek to understand them, ask them more questions, be curious about what they're saying, And something I always remember from Del Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People ⁓ is when he makes the point that of the most memorable communicators weren't memorable because of what they said, they were memorable because of the genuine interest they took in another person. ⁓ So that's asking questions, being curious, and really making them feel seen and heard. So if you're wondering how you can start making a great first impression, ⁓ I've six practical tools now that you can start using, whether in life or perhaps work or a networking situation. So have presence, and this is where that energy piece comes in. It really speaks volumes. Take up the space and make sure your body language is reflecting that you're feeling confident and competent. don't forget to smile. ⁓ It's underrated, but is one of the first things that people register. Become genuinely interested in other people. Ask questions, be curious, because people remember how you made them feel long after they've forgotten what you actually said. Remember people's names, and if they haven't offered theirs, always ask. Using someone's name in a conversation, near the start of a conversation, is of the simplest and most powerful ways to make them feel valued. If it feels appropriate, offer a genuine compliment, something real, something you've actually noticed. We too often think something nice about another person, but rarely say it, and I really want to change that. And know what you're going to say about yourself before you arrive. So your introduction, your one-liner, the answer to so what do you do? Prepare it and practice it until it feels natural and it rolls off the tongue. You have seven seconds. Now that might sound daunting, but those seven seconds are entirely within your control. Your energy, your posture, your eye contact, the warmth in your voice, the clarity of your words. It's all in the preparation, the practice, and it's the choice you make before you walk into the room. Think about the last time you showed up on a call or entered an event. What first impression do you think you gave? And is that the impression you intended to give? If not, what could change for next time? Remember, you never get a second chance to make a first impression, so make those seven seconds count.