Latest / Interview Prep with Fexingo: Behavioral Questions, Case Studies, and Hiring Manager Insights / How to Answer the Tell Me About a Time You Failed Question
Transcript
- Lucas: So we've covered a lot of favorite questions over the past few months, but there's one that still makes candidates squirm almost every single time. And it's not the weaknesses one. Luna: Let me guess. Is it 'tell me about a time you failed'? Lucas: Exactly. The failure question. It's in nearly every behavioral interview, and I think it's the one people are least prepared for because our instinct is to hide our mistakes, not rehearse them. Luna: Yeah, and I've seen candidates freeze up, go too vague, or pick something that's clearly not a real failure. It's painful to watch sometimes. Lucas: That's why today we're going to break it down with a real example. Let's say you're a marketing coordinator, and you missed a product launch deadline because you didn't communicate a delay from the vendor to the rest of the team. That's a classic failure story. We'll walk through how to tell it in a way that actually impresses. Luna: Before we dive in, I want to take a quick beat. You know, a lot of listeners have told us that this show has helped them prep for interviews, negotiate offers, even decide on a career change. And that's exactly why we keep making it. But it only stays ad-free because of listener support. Lucas: Right. If you've gotten something out of these episodes, a couple of dollars a month genuinely makes a difference. You can find us at buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. It's the simplest way to keep this going. Luna: Even just the price of a coffee helps us cover the hosting costs and lets us keep the episodes free for everyone. No pressure, only if you can. Lucas: Okay, back to the failure question. First, why do interviewers ask it? It's not to trip you up. It's to see if you can take ownership, reflect, and show that you've grown. They want evidence of self-awareness and resilience. Luna: And they also want to see that you don't blame others. That's a huge red flag for hiring managers. Lucas: Absolutely. So the structure is still STAR, but for a failure story, you need to adapt it. Situation, task, action, result. But the Action part is where you have to be honest about what went wrong, and the Result must include what you learned and what you changed. Luna: So for the marketing coordinator example, what would the Situation and Task be? Lucas: The Situation is simple. You're launching a new product, and you're responsible for coordinating all the marketing materials. The Task is to have everything ready for the launch date. The Action is where it gets tricky. You discovered the vendor's delay but didn't immediately flag it to the team. You assumed you could make up the time. Luna: And that's the mistake. The failure is the lack of proactive communication. Lucas: Exactly. The Result is that the launch got pushed back by a week, and the team had to scramble. But the key is to end with the lesson. You now have a rule to always flag any delay, no matter how small, within 24 hours. And you implemented a shared tracking sheet for all vendor deadlines. Luna: That's a solid example. But what if someone's failure is more serious, like they got fired? Lucas: You can still use it, but you have to be careful. The focus should be on what you learned and how you've improved since. And you should avoid going into too much detail about the termination itself. Keep it professional. Luna: So pick a failure that's real, but not so catastrophic that it raises doubts about your competence. Lucas: Right. A good failure story is one where you had a genuine gap in skills or judgment, but you've since bridged that gap. It shows growth. A bad one is something like 'I care too much about my work'—that's not a failure, that's a cliché. Luna: And what about the opposite? Picking something that's actually a success in disguise, like 'I failed to delegate because I'm a perfectionist.' Lucas: Hiring managers see through that immediately. It comes off as evasive. You have to genuinely own a mistake. It doesn't have to be huge, but it has to be real. Luna: So how do you practice this? Do you have a framework? Lucas: I like to use the 'What, So What, Now What' approach. First, briefly describe what happened. Then, explain why it mattered—the impact. Finally, what you changed as a result. That last part is what interviewers remember. Luna: That's a nice shortcut. Let's apply it to the marketing coordinator example. Lucas: The 'what' is the missed deadline and the delayed launch. The 'so what' is that the team lost a week of momentum and had to reallocate resources. The 'now what' is the 24-hour communication rule and the shared tracking sheet. That's the story arc. Luna: And you should keep the whole thing under two minutes, right? Lucas: Under ninety seconds, ideally. The STAR method can get long, but for a failure story, you want to spend most of your time on the action and the lesson. The setup should be quick. Luna: What if the interviewer asks for a failure that's not work-related? Like a personal failure? Lucas: That's rare, but it can happen. If they do, you can use a personal example, but you should still tie it back to a professional trait. For instance, you failed to follow through on a commitment to a friend, and that taught you the importance of prioritizing and being honest about your time. Luna: So as long as you connect it to a lesson that applies to the job, you're fine. Lucas: Exactly. The interviewer wants to see that you're reflective and that you turn setbacks into learning opportunities. That's a universally valuable trait. Luna: I think a lot of people also worry about sounding too rehearsed. How do you avoid that? Lucas: It's okay to sound prepared. But you don't want to recite a script. Practice your story out loud a few times, but in the interview, deliver it naturally. Pause, make eye contact, and let the story breathe. Luna: And what if you genuinely can't think of a failure? Is that possible? Lucas: Everyone has failed at something. Maybe you didn't get a promotion you wanted, or you made a mistake on a project that got caught late. The key is to find a moment where you didn't meet your own expectations and you've grown from it. Luna: So it doesn't have to be a huge catastrophe. It can be a small miss that taught you something. Lucas: Exactly. In fact, a small, specific failure is often more believable than a dramatic one. It shows you're self-aware enough to notice the little things. Luna: We should also mention that the result of your failure doesn't have to be a happy ending. Sometimes the project still failed, but you learned something. Lucas: Right. The outcome matters less than the reflection. You could say, 'We didn't meet the target, but I realized my reporting was too infrequent, so now I send weekly updates.' That's still a strong answer. Luna: So to summarize, the next time you get asked about failure, remember to be honest, use a real example, focus on the lesson, and keep it concise. Lucas: And don't forget to smile. It's okay to be a little uncomfortable, but showing that you can talk about failure with grace is a huge plus. Luna: Any final tip for our listeners? Lucas: Practice your story now, before you need it. Write it down, say it out loud, and get comfortable with it. That way, when the moment comes, you'll be ready.