Latest / The Steve & Jeff Show / S2 E39 - Robbie "Smash" Davis: World Record for Accidents

Transcript

S2 E39 - Robbie "Smash" Davis: World Record for Accidents · The Steve & Jeff Show

0:01
SPEAKER_02: Welcome to the Steven Jeff Show, the funniest podcast ever.
0:06
SPEAKER_02: Hey people, I don't write the words, I just read them.
0:11
SPEAKER_02: Be sure and follow or subscribe to the Steve and Jeff Show wherever you listen to podcasts.
0:17
SPEAKER_02: Write us a review while you're there too.
0:19
SPEAKER_03: And now, here's Steve and Jeff.
0:24
SPEAKER_03: Well, hey Jeff, what a beautiful day to be back in the studio.
0:29
SPEAKER_03: It is.
0:29
SPEAKER_03: How's it going, Steve?
0:31
SPEAKER_03: Oh, it's going great.
0:32
SPEAKER_03: You know, it's really been hot.
0:33
SPEAKER_03: So hot.
0:34
SPEAKER_03: And I, you know, with this heat, it's just hard to sleep.
0:37
SPEAKER_03: And when I finally do get to sleep, I've been having these crazy dreams.
0:41
SPEAKER_03: I had a lot of strange dreams lately.
0:43
SPEAKER_03: You know, some of them are good, some of them are bad.
0:46
SPEAKER_03: I don't know how to interpret them.
0:47
SPEAKER_03: You know, we've had so many dream interpreters on the show.
0:49
SPEAKER_03: We had the financial dream interpreter, and then we had the diet dream interpreter.
0:54
SPEAKER_03: And I I called them both, and neither one could help me.
0:57
SPEAKER_03: I don't know what to do.
0:59
SPEAKER_01: You know, the old saying that dreams are the gateway to a person's soul.
1:03
SPEAKER_01: Oh, I'm I'm totally screwed then.
1:06
SPEAKER_01: Oh, I'm screwed.
1:07
SPEAKER_01: I am so screwed.
1:08
SPEAKER_01: I mean, it kind of makes sense.
1:10
SPEAKER_01: And I'm just glad, Steve, that you're having dreams in your own bed.
1:13
SPEAKER_01: I I know that you were traveling, and you know, thank God Delta, you're in good hands with Delta and got home.
1:19
SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
1:19
SPEAKER_03: Nothing could ever happen.
1:20
SPEAKER_03: You know, you fly with the nothing's ever gonna happen.
1:23
SPEAKER_03: You're never if you have a delay, they are so nice about it, and it's just a little delay, it's really not bad, you know.
1:29
SPEAKER_01: It's never bad.
1:30
SPEAKER_01: So you're having some dreams, and yeah, give me an idea on what's going on.
1:34
SPEAKER_03: This one dream in particular, this dream I had last night, and I I wish I could tell you what I ate before I went to bed, but I you know, I can't.
1:41
SPEAKER_03: But I digress.
1:42
SPEAKER_03: In this dream, I'm going to a podcast convention with you and Miss Claire.
1:46
SPEAKER_03: So we're all going to this podcast convention, which I do that's a very realistic sort of thing, right?
1:51
SPEAKER_03: Sure.
1:52
SPEAKER_03: Conventions in Kansas City.
1:54
SPEAKER_03: So we're just we're just driving there.
1:55
SPEAKER_03: We're gonna drive there together.
1:57
SPEAKER_03: So while we're driving during the trip, we get into an accident and all three of us are killed.
2:04
SPEAKER_01: Jeez.
2:05
SPEAKER_01: The only thing worse than that would be to fly Delta.
2:08
SPEAKER_03: Well, right, yeah.
2:10
SPEAKER_03: But a Delta flyers probably wish they had that dream, but but I digress.
2:14
SPEAKER_01: That's horrible.
2:15
SPEAKER_01: Are are you asking me what my opinion is of that?
2:18
SPEAKER_01: You probably have a fear of dying or penis envy, which uh, you know, I have had that many times.
2:25
SPEAKER_03: You know, that's probably both true, but I I think you know, so many people pay attention to penis envy.
2:29
SPEAKER_03: There are six other deadly sins.
2:31
SPEAKER_03: I I think maybe a worse one would be like penis sloth.
2:35
SPEAKER_03: I maybe I got that, I don't know, you know, but but I digress.
2:39
SPEAKER_03: But but that's not that's actually not the end of the dream.
2:41
SPEAKER_03: No, if the dream went on, no, no.
2:44
SPEAKER_03: Turns out all three of us go up to heaven and Saint Peter is at the gate, you know, just like boy, just like in those old 30s movies, you know, Saint Peter's at the gate, and he has some questions before he'll let us in.
2:57
SPEAKER_01: These are like just qualifiers.
2:59
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I'm Jewish, so you know, I'm not real familiar with uh Saint Peter.
3:03
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, these are kind of the these are kind of the qualifying questions.
3:06
SPEAKER_03: This is like you know, when when you get those things that say, hey, take our survey to see if you qualify.
3:10
SPEAKER_03: Well, that's kind of what this is.
3:12
SPEAKER_03: This is like the survey to see if you qualify, right?
3:14
SPEAKER_03: So Saint Peter asks when people see you in your casket at your funeral, what would you like to hear them say?
3:22
SPEAKER_03: Actually, Jeff, you you started off first.
3:25
SPEAKER_03: You said, and you said I would like to hear them say that I was a great entertainer and I made people laugh.
3:33
SPEAKER_01: That's totally sounds like me.
3:35
SPEAKER_01: Oh that's a good thing.
3:37
SPEAKER_01: That was great.
3:38
SPEAKER_01: Did I did I get in?
3:40
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, see, I woke up.
3:41
SPEAKER_03: I don't know, but but okay.
3:42
SPEAKER_03: Let me finish.
3:43
SPEAKER_03: Let me finish.
3:43
SPEAKER_03: Sorry, what about Claire?
3:45
SPEAKER_03: Well, Claire, Claire said, Miss Claire said I would like to hear that I was a wonderful person and it's a shame that so many people in my life died tragically.
3:57
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, that does sound like Claire, doesn't it?
4:00
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, that's so true to life.
4:02
SPEAKER_03: And what about you?
4:03
SPEAKER_03: Well, I said that when people looked at me in my casket, I wanted to hear people say, Hey, look, he's moving.
4:12
SPEAKER_03: What do you what do you think that means?
4:15
SPEAKER_01: I have no idea, but I think that St.
4:18
SPEAKER_01: Peter ought to keep an eye on Claire, as we all should.
4:21
SPEAKER_03: That might be like not penis slot, but maybe more like penis pride or something.
4:25
SPEAKER_03: I don't, I you know, I don't know, but but I agree.
4:28
SPEAKER_03: You know, but talking about crashes and death and all that, and you know, as you know, as you know, Jeff, and our loyal listeners, really, Jeff, let's be honest, the millions of loyal listeners, they know that Bob Crash Davis was a guest on our show last season.
4:42
SPEAKER_03: He was found alive.
4:43
SPEAKER_03: He had the crash in Lake Michigan, he was missing for quite some time, was touch and go there, but he was found alive after the plane crash in Lake Michigan, and that's that's just great news.
4:53
SPEAKER_01: I wouldn't be surprised if we found out that he was dead at some point.
4:57
SPEAKER_01: I always, you know, like the Guinness Book of Worlds Records show that they do the annual show, and they do that uh memoriam video.
5:04
SPEAKER_01: I always think that Bob's gonna show up on that.
5:07
SPEAKER_03: I'm always afraid of that of that too.
5:09
SPEAKER_03: You know, not that I watched the show, but now that I know that they have an in-memorium, I might watch it because that's generally the most entertaining part of the show.
5:17
SPEAKER_03: But absolutely.
5:17
SPEAKER_03: And in case we have some new listeners, we do have new listeners that maybe weren't listening last season, and maybe, unlike really studious listeners, haven't gone back and listened to old episodes, they may not know who Bob is.
5:29
SPEAKER_03: He was on our show last season and he held the Guinness Book of World Records for surviving the most plane crashes.
5:37
SPEAKER_03: He's the luckiest guy in the world.
5:38
SPEAKER_03: He's also the most unlucky guy in the world, I'm not sure.
5:42
SPEAKER_03: But he at that time had survived 17 plane crashes, so he's at least at 18 now with that Lake Michigan accident.
5:49
SPEAKER_01: There's probably two Guinness Book of World Records, even in that statement, Steve, because he had 18 crashes.
5:57
SPEAKER_01: How many people actually have crashed 18 times on a plane, and then surviving 18 times?
6:04
SPEAKER_01: I can't imagine what St.
6:05
SPEAKER_01: Peter would say to him when he was at the Pearlie Gates wanting to go in.
6:10
SPEAKER_03: Well, you know, I'm I'm I'm not exactly Kierkegaard, but I'm I'm if you look at this philosophically, if you have 18 crashes, you'd have to survive at least 17 of them, wouldn't you?
6:20
SPEAKER_03: To have number 18, right?
6:21
SPEAKER_03: I mean, but yeah, let's think about this for a second here, right?
6:24
SPEAKER_01: It's like winning the Super Bowl four consecutive times.
6:27
SPEAKER_01: You have to win the first time.
6:29
SPEAKER_03: You have to win the first three, the second and third.
6:31
SPEAKER_01: Right, yeah, yeah.
6:32
SPEAKER_01: Kind of eliminates, gets rid of the of the riffraff.
6:35
SPEAKER_03: Jeff, tonight I got a special surprise for you.
6:37
SPEAKER_01: It's my dad on.
6:39
SPEAKER_03: Not yet.
6:39
SPEAKER_03: We're still talking to the warden, and he is he's really not taking our calls.
6:43
SPEAKER_03: You know, I had miss Claire called because he knows me, right?
6:46
SPEAKER_03: He knows my voice.
6:47
SPEAKER_03: So I had Miss Claire call, and he actually took the call, but then he hung up on her too.
6:50
SPEAKER_03: So we're not really getting anywhere, but I got another great surprise.
6:54
SPEAKER_03: Our guest tonight, you're talking about Bob Crash Davis.
6:58
SPEAKER_03: It's not Bob.
6:59
SPEAKER_03: I don't really know where Bob is, and he's probably out trying to set a new record, but I think our guest probably knows where Bob is tonight on our show.
7:08
SPEAKER_03: We have Bob Crash Davis's son.
7:11
SPEAKER_03: His name is Robbie Smash Davis.
7:14
SPEAKER_03: Hi, Robbie.
7:15
SPEAKER_03: Welcome to the Steve and Jeff Show.
7:17
SPEAKER_00: Wow, sounds like I'm hearing voices again.
7:19
SPEAKER_00: Really need to get that checked out.
7:22
SPEAKER_00: Anyways, thanks for taking my order.
7:24
SPEAKER_00: I'd like a Big Mac, medium fry, and a Diet Coke to go.
7:29
SPEAKER_03: Uh, okay.
7:30
SPEAKER_03: Well, it's not lunch yet, but uh maybe Claire can make a McDonald's run.
7:34
SPEAKER_00: Uh I I'm sorry.
7:36
SPEAKER_00: I thought I could order lunch.
7:38
SPEAKER_00: In that case, an egg McMuffin, hash browns, and oysters is fine.
7:43
SPEAKER_01: Sure.
7:43
SPEAKER_01: I guess I'm hungry too, although I'd be more comfortable if somebody else besides Claire went out to go get it.
7:51
SPEAKER_01: If you know what I mean, Steve.
7:53
SPEAKER_03: Oh, oh yes, you're right.
7:54
SPEAKER_03: That would make me a little nervous too.
7:56
SPEAKER_03: I would go so far as to say I probably would wink wink not be hungry if Claire brought food, if you know what I mean.
8:04
SPEAKER_03: Besides, who would produce the show if she's gone?
8:06
SPEAKER_03: Uh movies and Johnny, go get go get the McDonald's for him, will you?
8:10
SPEAKER_01: Anyways, welcome to the show, Robbie.
8:12
SPEAKER_01: Is it okay if I call you Robbie?
8:14
SPEAKER_00: Of course, Robbie.
8:15
SPEAKER_00: And thank you so much for having me on your show.
8:18
SPEAKER_00: Wow, Robbie's my name too.
8:20
SPEAKER_00: Is your middle name Smash as well?
8:23
SPEAKER_01: No, it's uh Barry.
8:25
SPEAKER_01: But you know what?
8:26
SPEAKER_01: You can call me Jeff or Barry or anything you want, Robbie.
8:29
SPEAKER_00: Oh, perfect.
8:30
SPEAKER_00: Who's your friend?
8:32
SPEAKER_00: I don't think we have met.
8:34
SPEAKER_03: Uh well, I'm I'm Steve.
8:35
SPEAKER_03: You know, we talked last week about coming on the show.
8:38
SPEAKER_03: Uh I let you into the studio this morning, too, in fact.
8:41
SPEAKER_00: Oh, that's all right.
8:42
SPEAKER_00: The Steve and Jeff show.
8:44
SPEAKER_00: Right.
8:44
SPEAKER_00: I'd love to come on your show sometime, maybe when I'm not too busy.
8:48
SPEAKER_00: You know, summer is a very popular time to smash things.
8:52
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, well, that would be great.
8:54
SPEAKER_03: But, you know, in fact, you're you're here now, so we thought we could, you know, you could be our guest right now, which you are.
9:00
SPEAKER_03: Let me do a formal introduction for our audience.
9:02
SPEAKER_03: Robbie, of course, you're the son of one of the most famous people we've ever had on our show.
9:07
SPEAKER_03: We've had some big celebrities on our show, but Bob Crash Davis, he is the world record holder for surviving the most airplane crashes ever.
9:14
SPEAKER_03: It was 17 at that time.
9:16
SPEAKER_03: And now, the way I understand it, Robbie, you're taking after your father.
9:20
SPEAKER_03: You're following your father's footsteps.
9:22
SPEAKER_03: You're going after more world records.
9:24
SPEAKER_03: If you're not really directly competing with your dad going for the airplane crashes, but you're going for the record for the most accidents ever by one person.
9:33
SPEAKER_03: Understand you have had 58 accidents in the last year alone.
9:39
SPEAKER_03: That is quite impressive.
9:41
SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much.
9:42
SPEAKER_00: Yes, I was always wanting to hold a world record for something, and accidents just seem to be a natural for me.
9:49
SPEAKER_00: Before I leave, I just wanted to thank you for having me on the show.
9:53
SPEAKER_00: It's been fun.
9:54
SPEAKER_01: Uh, nice to have you on the show as we are just beginning.
9:59
SPEAKER_01: But before you leave, just a couple questions, if you don't mind.
10:02
SPEAKER_01: When you say accidents, what are we talking here?
10:05
SPEAKER_01: Like car accidents or trains or buses?
10:08
SPEAKER_01: Is that kind of the category that you're going after?
10:11
SPEAKER_00: Yes, all of those.
10:13
SPEAKER_00: But it goes way beyond that.
10:15
SPEAKER_00: It really is about anything that happens to me that requires hospitalization.
10:20
SPEAKER_00: Anything from tripping down the flight of fares to cutting my pinky off with a can opener to accidentally having a rectal thermometer stuck in my I think you know where it got stuck.
10:33
SPEAKER_03: Well, it's uh big range for sure.
10:35
SPEAKER_03: How serious are some of those accidents?
10:37
SPEAKER_03: Would you say they're life-threatening?
10:39
SPEAKER_03: You know, like your dad's like an airplane crash, right?
10:41
SPEAKER_03: You know, it's life-threatening.
10:43
SPEAKER_03: Would you say yours are life-threatening?
10:45
SPEAKER_00: I I think so.
10:46
SPEAKER_00: Although, how do you really measure life-threatening?
10:48
SPEAKER_00: It's not an exact science.
10:51
SPEAKER_03: I kind of think it is.
10:52
SPEAKER_03: Uh, you probably define it as when you almost die, or when you're likely to die, or there's a good chance you're going to die.
11:00
SPEAKER_00: Well, then sure.
11:01
SPEAKER_00: Some are life-threatening.
11:02
SPEAKER_00: But in most cases, I try to have access limited to my head if possible.
11:07
SPEAKER_00: Those are the safest.
11:09
SPEAKER_00: You know what they say?
11:11
SPEAKER_00: Not much can go wrong if you injure your head.
11:14
SPEAKER_00: And the best part is that in most cases, it just results in bunks, bruises, and concussions, which we all know is just another word for a mild headache.
11:25
SPEAKER_01: I think that may make sense.
11:27
SPEAKER_01: I must say that you having so many accidents, you look great.
11:31
SPEAKER_01: Except for, you know, you're missing a few fingers and you're kind of walking with a limp.
11:36
SPEAKER_01: But but overall, you look great.
11:38
SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much for the compliment, Steve.
11:40
SPEAKER_00: And by the way, who's your friend?
11:42
SPEAKER_01: His name is Steve as well.
11:44
SPEAKER_01: I thought you have already met.
11:46
SPEAKER_00: So both of you are Steve.
11:48
SPEAKER_00: Not sure I'm on the right show then.
11:51
SPEAKER_00: I'm looking for the Steve and Jeff show, not the Steve and Steve show.
11:55
SPEAKER_00: What did you do on your show?
11:57
SPEAKER_03: Well, Smash, we're a comedy interview show and we bring on interesting people to share their experiences with our audience.
12:04
SPEAKER_03: Kind of like we brought your dad on, kind of like we're we have you on right now.
12:08
SPEAKER_00: Well, I think that's what Steve and Jeff do on their show, too.
12:12
SPEAKER_00: You know, I have a lot of interesting things that have happened to me.
12:15
SPEAKER_00: So maybe I should be on your show someday as well.
12:18
SPEAKER_00: My only question is, does having the same name thing get confusing?
12:23
SPEAKER_00: Maybe you should change it to like Steve and Jeff or something like that.
12:27
SPEAKER_00: Although I guess that name is taken.
12:29
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I think that's a good idea.
12:32
SPEAKER_01: While we have you on the show, if you don't mind me asking another question, is what would you say is the most interesting accident you have had so far?
12:41
SPEAKER_00: Oh gosh, I have had so many.
12:43
SPEAKER_00: I guess one of the funniest ones was when I got a magnifying glass for my birthday.
12:49
SPEAKER_00: My wife got that for me.
12:51
SPEAKER_00: She thought it would enhance our sex life, and I was playing with it during the eclipse.
12:57
SPEAKER_00: You remember the eclipse a few years ago?
13:00
SPEAKER_00: Kind of a good news, bad news thing.
13:03
SPEAKER_00: Got a really good look at the eclipse, but totally burned my eyes pretty bad.
13:09
SPEAKER_03: Well, that must have been really painful.
13:11
SPEAKER_03: But the good news is it seems like you can still see, so that's good, right?
13:15
SPEAKER_00: Yes, it all turned out for the best.
13:18
SPEAKER_00: After my eyes were burned up, I was able to get eye transplants.
13:22
SPEAKER_00: So now I really have a new set of eyes, 2020 vision.
13:27
SPEAKER_00: Well, that is I did, until I accidentally splashed some drain cleaner in my face while trying to clear a drain in the bathroom.
13:36
SPEAKER_00: Now I have like 2100 vision.
13:39
SPEAKER_00: But I think the larger the number, the farther you can see, right?
13:42
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, maybe.
13:44
SPEAKER_01: Uh I'm not real sure about that.
13:45
SPEAKER_01: I'm not uh an eye doctor.
13:47
SPEAKER_01: Did it require you going to the hospital?
13:49
SPEAKER_00: It did, but only for two weeks or so.
13:52
SPEAKER_00: It would have been shorter, except I ended up getting sepsis on account of the bed sores I got binge watching Wheel of Fortune.
14:00
SPEAKER_00: Did you know I was actually a contestant on the wheel last year?
14:05
SPEAKER_00: Oh, cool.
14:06
SPEAKER_03: How did you do?
14:07
SPEAKER_03: Did you did you win some money?
14:09
SPEAKER_00: I did, but most of the money went to pay for the accident I got after the show.
14:14
SPEAKER_00: I was up there waiting to solve the puzzle and looking, I looked at how beautiful Vanna White is.
14:21
SPEAKER_00: And I lost my balance and I fell off the podium, and I landed right on top of the wheel itself, and one of those spokes went right through my left ear.
14:32
SPEAKER_01: Sounds extremely painful, but I have to admit, it would be worth it just to get that close to Vanna and Pat.
14:39
SPEAKER_03: I think Vanna and Pat, they're almost old enough to run for president, I think.
14:42
SPEAKER_03: That might be their next career.
14:44
SPEAKER_03: And they'd make a great team, wouldn't they?
14:46
SPEAKER_01: They would.
14:46
SPEAKER_01: This kind of brings up a question that I have that probably a lot of our audience is wondering the same thing.
14:51
SPEAKER_01: It's sort of the elephant in the room, and that is do you try to make these accidents happen on purpose?
14:58
SPEAKER_00: I'm not sure what you mean, but as far as the elephant in the room, a funny thing happened to me while at the circus.
15:06
SPEAKER_00: I went backstage after the performance to pet the elephants.
15:10
SPEAKER_00: That's my favorite animal.
15:12
SPEAKER_00: Turns out one elephant I was petting was in heat.
15:16
SPEAKER_00: And well, let's just say his trunk isn't the longest thing on his body, if you know what I mean.
15:24
SPEAKER_00: That was pretty painful.
15:26
SPEAKER_00: I couldn't walk for almost a month.
15:29
SPEAKER_00: The funny thing is that I had a bad case of elephantitis, but still hurt like hell.
15:36
SPEAKER_00: But on the bright side, they named the baby elephant Little Rocky, so that was pretty cool.
15:41
SPEAKER_03: Oh, yeah, that's an interesting story for sure.
15:44
SPEAKER_03: Their smash, uh, so I imagine with 58 accidents this year alone, you spent a lot of time in the hospital.
15:50
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, how many days are we talking?
15:52
SPEAKER_00: Oh, yes.
15:53
SPEAKER_00: I think I've been in the hospital for 112 days so far, and that covers more than 25 different hospitals and nine different insurance policies.
16:04
SPEAKER_03: Oh, that's a lot.
16:05
SPEAKER_03: One more question.
16:06
SPEAKER_03: Now that you're famous, do you worry about other people going after your record?
16:11
SPEAKER_03: Do you trying to chase your record?
16:13
SPEAKER_03: Kind of like your dad had some competitors who were trying to reach his record.
16:17
SPEAKER_03: Or do you have people trying to trying to catch you?
16:20
SPEAKER_00: I guess I should worry about that, Jeff.
16:22
SPEAKER_00: Never really thought about it that much.
16:25
SPEAKER_00: But speaking of your show and this interview, I think I was supposed to be on the Steve and Jeff show, not the Jeff and Jeff show.
16:34
SPEAKER_00: I hope it's not too late to get on the show.
16:36
SPEAKER_00: They have a very big audience.
16:38
SPEAKER_01: No, it's it certainly is not too late.
16:41
SPEAKER_01: Anyways, I bet your dad is very proud of you, sort of carrying on the family tradition.
16:46
SPEAKER_01: How often do you get to see him and how's he doing after that plane crash at Link, Michigan?
16:52
SPEAKER_00: Well, Steve, to be honest, my dad and I don't see eye to eye on the world record thing.
16:58
SPEAKER_00: He just thinks plane crashes are real accidents, and he kind of makes fun of what I do and what I'm known for.
17:06
SPEAKER_00: But speaking of lunch, any chance you can get something from McDonald's?
17:11
SPEAKER_00: If you're making a run, I'd like a Big Mac, fries, and a medium diet coke.
17:16
SPEAKER_00: Thanks.
17:17
SPEAKER_03: Oh, yeah, sure, sure.
17:18
SPEAKER_03: Got your order right here.
17:19
SPEAKER_03: Thank you, Johnny.
17:21
SPEAKER_00: Wow, you guys are fast.
17:23
SPEAKER_00: And speaking of insurance policies, looks like Claire is asking me to fill out an application for a$100,000 policy to cover me while in the studio.
17:35
SPEAKER_00: Is that typical?
17:37
SPEAKER_00: And is this dessert from McDonald's?
17:40
SPEAKER_00: It's delicious.
17:41
SPEAKER_00: I first thought they were at beginner mints, but they are a bit too big for mints.
17:47
SPEAKER_00: Do you guys want some?
17:49
SPEAKER_01: I think that Steve and I should probably pass on that.
17:52
SPEAKER_01: I mean, Claire is a very good cook, but I have a nut allergy and a poison allergy.
17:58
SPEAKER_01: So I I try to stay away from the stuff Claire prepares for us.
18:03
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I'll I'm gonna pass too.
18:04
SPEAKER_03: Um, you know, I'm lactose intolerant and I'm I have re-acid reflux and uh you know that all that can be deadly as well.
18:13
SPEAKER_03: Better safe than sorry, right?
18:14
SPEAKER_00: Well, suit yourself.
18:16
SPEAKER_00: Or for me, I guess, although I'm suddenly getting pretty tired.
18:21
SPEAKER_00: Do you have a bed I can use just until I get on the Steve and Jeff show?
18:26
SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
18:27
SPEAKER_01: We have a bed in the back, no problem.
18:29
SPEAKER_01: And I think you should take a rest.
18:31
SPEAKER_01: Steve, we might want to contact the nearest doctor or or where the hospital is.
18:36
SPEAKER_01: I'm not sure Robbie's gonna survive this one.
18:39
SPEAKER_03: Poison Center.
18:40
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, this isn't an accident, this is different.
18:43
SPEAKER_03: He's not ready for that.
18:43
SPEAKER_03: I mean, he's ready for the accidents.
18:45
SPEAKER_03: You know, Robbie, it was great having you on the show.
18:47
SPEAKER_03: And please say hi to your dad next time you see him.
18:49
SPEAKER_03: And great to have you here.
18:51
SPEAKER_03: But I I think, wow, Jeff, look.
18:54
SPEAKER_01: I think Smash is already asleep.
18:56
SPEAKER_01: Probably shouldn't wake him up quite yet.
18:58
SPEAKER_01: Can you tell if he's breathing?
18:59
SPEAKER_01: I I can't tell through the glass here.
19:02
SPEAKER_03: Well, you know, his nose has been reconstructed so many times it it really doesn't move.
19:06
SPEAKER_03: True.
19:07
SPEAKER_03: But I am hearing like a faint whistle because, of course, you know, his breathing apparatus has been reconstructed so many times as well.
19:15
SPEAKER_03: It's down to a fine tube, a fine narrow.
19:18
SPEAKER_03: It's almost like fiber optics, you know.
19:21
SPEAKER_03: And so I'm hearing something.
19:23
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that Steve, that bad news is that I think that's my nose.
19:27
SPEAKER_01: Oh, it has a you know, I have a tendency to have that happen ever since I got that new nose.
19:31
SPEAKER_01: It whistles all kinds of tunes, but oh yeah, I can't really control it.
19:35
SPEAKER_03: But well, the Jennifer Anston nose.
19:37
SPEAKER_03: It probably whistles the friends theme, you know, right?
19:40
SPEAKER_01: It does.
19:40
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it does.
19:41
SPEAKER_03: So your nose will be there for you at least, you know.
19:44
SPEAKER_03: You know that, right?
19:45
SPEAKER_01: So this was fascinating, and it was.
19:47
SPEAKER_01: I'm hoping I'm hoping that Robbie wakes up at some point, but it was great to have him on the show.
19:52
SPEAKER_03: You know, and I I had so many more questions, so many more things I wanted to talk to him about.
19:56
SPEAKER_03: Like, like, how does he prepare if he's going in for car accidents?
20:01
SPEAKER_03: What do you do?
20:01
SPEAKER_03: You got the airbag, but and your seatbelt, but what else do you do?
20:06
SPEAKER_03: I mean, that can't be enough.
20:07
SPEAKER_03: If you really want to survive it, I mean, you you probably got to do more than that, right?
20:11
SPEAKER_01: The other question, which I think we've asked his dad as well, is do any of these accidents accidentally cause other people to have accidents at the same time?
20:21
SPEAKER_01: You know, like how his dad would take a flight and it would crash and then everybody would either die or survive it or whatever.
20:28
SPEAKER_01: But yeah, I wonder how many accidents he's had where other people have had accidents as well.
20:34
SPEAKER_01: And do they count towards the record or do they end up going on their own quest?
20:39
SPEAKER_03: It's like with expressway traffic.
20:41
SPEAKER_03: There's an accident and that causes a backup, and then that backup often causes another accident.
20:47
SPEAKER_03: So do you get credit for both?
20:49
SPEAKER_03: Is it like in basketball you get like a point and an assist?
20:53
SPEAKER_03: I mean, how does that work?
20:54
SPEAKER_01: If he ever wakes up, maybe we could have him back on the show and ask him that.
20:58
SPEAKER_01: Although I'm not sure he knows exactly where our show is, and I think we'll be pretty lucky if we get him back on the show if he can remember.
21:06
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I think we'd have to remind him that he was on the show.
21:09
SPEAKER_03: You know, you just you can't hit your head 58 times a year and not have some effect, you know?
21:16
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, well, I don't want to argue with you, but you actually can hit your head 58 times a year, but yeah, you can't really control what happens to you.
21:24
SPEAKER_01: Some people call them concussions, like he like he said.
21:27
SPEAKER_01: Now that we're done with this interview, I'm I'm not sure it is.
21:30
SPEAKER_03: He's gonna wake up at some point, but I think unfortunately they're gonna kick us out of eccentrically alien studios before he does.
21:37
SPEAKER_03: So, Jeff, we've got many great shows coming up.
21:41
SPEAKER_03: We'll be telling people all about those as they happen.
21:44
SPEAKER_03: But you know, I feel so bad for Smash.
21:47
SPEAKER_03: Well, and Crash too, for that matter.
21:48
SPEAKER_03: I feel bad for both of them.
21:50
SPEAKER_03: You know, they're out there risking their lives, literally quite literally, and damaging their health, quite quite evidently, just to set a record.
22:00
SPEAKER_03: Just to give us entertainment.
22:03
SPEAKER_03: Just to give us something to aspire to, something to believe in.
22:07
SPEAKER_03: You know, it's all inspiring, but it's also tragic at the same time.
22:12
SPEAKER_03: It's hard to describe.
22:13
SPEAKER_01: Well, don't we do the same thing, Steve?
22:15
SPEAKER_01: At the end of the day, our need to entertain people, our need to provide pleasure to other people drives us to what some people would call our podcast an accident.
22:28
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
22:29
SPEAKER_03: So often in this podcast we smash our heads against the wall at least fifty-eight times in the course of a year, probably more, because it's at least once per show.
22:40
SPEAKER_03: And where's our world record?
22:41
SPEAKER_03: Where's the Guinness people?
22:43
SPEAKER_03: Where's our name in their book?
22:45
SPEAKER_03: Where's our waving to our fans on their TV show?
22:49
SPEAKER_03: What happened to that?
22:50
SPEAKER_03: I think we're not recording.
22:52
SPEAKER_01: Maybe we can still remember where the studio is.
23:00
SPEAKER_03: We we we sort of remember what the name of the show is.
23:04
SPEAKER_03: And I I feel so again, I feel so bad for Smash.
23:08
SPEAKER_03: I think we've really got to make sure that he gets some good gifts for being on this show.
23:14
SPEAKER_03: And it'll be such a surprise because he won't remember he was on the show.
23:18
SPEAKER_03: But you know, when he gets these gifts, he'll just be he'll be so pleased.
23:21
SPEAKER_03: Johnny, what do we have for poor Smash Davis?
23:26
SPEAKER_02: Right, Steve.
23:27
SPEAKER_02: Smash can put his mind at ease with the new updated 2024 color-coded cognitive test with easy-to-read results in.
23:36
SPEAKER_02: Remember these now, red, blue, green, orange, and yellow.
23:40
SPEAKER_02: So easy, even a majority of candidates for president can pass it.
23:44
SPEAKER_02: All new from the Person Woman Man Camera TV line of lab tests from Ace Labs.
23:49
SPEAKER_02: Remember, you'll always say face when you test with Ace.
23:54
SPEAKER_02: And to keep the record setting pace he needs, Smash will receive 500 bottles of Oprobrium, the new wonder drug from FarmerBrute.
24:03
SPEAKER_02: Oprobrium combines a powerful stimulant with a pain reliever most would think is illegal.
24:08
SPEAKER_02: It lets you stay alert and yet feel nothing whatsoever should you be in a crash.
24:14
SPEAKER_02: You'll love the control this non-controlled substance gives you for your record-setting base.
24:19
SPEAKER_02: Oprobrium from Farmer Brute.
24:22
SPEAKER_02: It gives you energy for a pain-free experience.
24:26
SPEAKER_02: And least but not last, Smash will fly on a delayed Delta flight to Hollywood, California, where he will appear as a stunt man in Quentin Tarantino's final film, Kill the Bastards, coming this Christmas season from CAC Pictures, which has no known connection to Harvey Weinstein.
24:44
SPEAKER_02: And even if it did, we had no idea what he was up to.
24:48
SPEAKER_02: This has been a compound fracture production in association with traumatic media.
24:52
SPEAKER_02: Be sure and follow or subscribe to the Steve and Jeff Show wherever you listen to the podcast.
24:57
SPEAKER_02: Write us a review while you're there, too.
25:00
SPEAKER_02: This is Johnny Speedy.
25:02
SPEAKER_02: I don't feel any need to risk my life to set records like Crash and Smash Davis do.
25:07
SPEAKER_02: Steve's mom and I have other ways to set records, and we'll probably set yet another one tonight.
25:14
SPEAKER_02: I better remember to take my appropriate.
25:18
SPEAKER_02: Good night!