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An Open Letter to Everyone Who Hates Their Church's Music · The Daily Writer

• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome everybody to the Born to Create Podcast.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: My name is Kent Sanders, and I'm your host.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_00: I'm an author, musician, and teacher.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: But most importantly, I'm a husband and a dad.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: Here on the show, we talk about practices, habits, and strategies that help us live out our creative calling.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: This is episode 28 of the podcast, and I want to say that I truly appreciate everybody who's been so encouraging and supportive since the show has launched.
• 0:46
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• 0:52
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• 0:58
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• 1:00
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• 1:04
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• 1:06
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• 1:20
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• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks, Kent.
• 1:27
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• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: And I would absolutely appreciate it if you also would consider leaving a rating and a review of the show on iTunes.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: You can do that by going to KentSanders.net slash iTunes, and that again links directly to iTunes where you can leave a rating and a review.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: I also want to invite you to send in your questions on creativity, productivity, art, or writing.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: And I will answer those questions here on the show.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: You can send me an email at Kent at KentSanders.net, or you can shoot me a message on Facebook or Twitter at simply KentSanders.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: If you ask a question that I can't answer intelligently, then I will find somebody who can help us answer that question.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: So let's jump into today's episode, which is titled An Open Letter to Everyone Who Hates Their Church's Music.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: You can find the post that accompanies this episode, as well as all the links, at KentSanders.net slash open dash letter dash music.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: This episode is a follow-up to the series that we just completed called Whatever Happened to Singing in the Church.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: In the previous few episodes, I shared several factors that can hinder people from participating in worship.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: And in today's episode, I want to address a follow-up issue.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: I had a really interesting conversation with somebody recently about a hypothetical situation.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: And here's the situation.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: What if a sincere, devoted Christian legitimately can't stand the music at their church?
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: How would that person go about dealing with that if they hate their church's music?
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: In the context of our conversation, this was a hypothetical issue and we weren't thinking of anybody in particular, but in reality, this situation happens in churches every Sunday across the USA and probably around the world.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: It can happen in any size church and with any style of music.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_00: It really shouldn't come as a surprise that a certain number of people won't like the music style at any given church.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: People respond to music emotionally, not rationally or logically.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: We like whatever kind of music we like, and it's really as simple as that.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: I've been leading, teaching, and studying worship for over 20 years.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: And in all that time, I've never seen a church where every single person loves the music at that church.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: There are always going to be people in a church who complain and cause problems and just sort of are negative about everything.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: But what happens if you're a mature, contributing, positive member of your church and you really can't stand the music?
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_00: How should you deal with those feelings in a way that honors God and doesn't cause any problems?
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I humbly want to offer these eight suggestions.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_00: Number one, know that your feelings are legitimate.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: You know, there's nothing wrong with disliking a certain style of music.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't make you any less spiritual if you don't like the same things that everybody else does.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: Recently I visited a church in our area, and actually my wife and I were visiting together, and my wife loved the music, but I didn't like the music at all.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, neither one of us was right or wrong.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: She had her preference and I had my preference.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: Neither one of us was more or less spiritual.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_00: We just liked what we liked and we didn't like what we didn't like, and that was that.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: Nothing wrong with that either way.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: Your feelings are legitimate if you like or dislike something.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: It's just kind of how we're wired.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: It's not an issue of being good or bad, or right or wrong.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: Number two, give the music a chance.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes we've made up our minds that we just don't like something and we're not open to change.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_00: And I am as guilty of this as anybody.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: But if we honestly give the music at our church a chance, or if we honestly give any type of art a chance, many times it'll grow on us and we will learn to appreciate it or possibly even like it.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: Now I know it sounds like I'm backtracking on what I said in point number one that it's okay to not like something, but kind of the counterpoint to that is point number two, which I just shared, which is give it a chance.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: You may not like something, but just give it a legitimate and honest chance, and you might even start to like it after a while.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: Number three, decide to be your worship leader's biggest supporter.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: I know this sounds counterintuitive.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: Why would you go out of your way to support the person who leads the music that you don't like at your church?
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: Well, here's why.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: It's because that's what mature Christians do.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: Worship leaders have a really difficult job.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: No matter what kind of music they choose, there is a 100% chance that somebody in the church won't like it.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_00: And given the parameters of that type of job, which I have done, those people can definitely use your encouragement.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: Because no matter what they pick, there's going to be somebody who doesn't like it.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_00: When you take the time to develop a relationship and a friendship with the worship leader at your church, a funny thing happens.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: And that is that you start to care much more about the person than about the music.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: In other words, the music takes a backseat to the relationship.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's a really important principle to remember in this whole discussion that relationships are always more important than music style.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: Number four, remember that unity is always more important than personal preference.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: It's sad, but it's true.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_00: Music has always been a point of division within the church.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: And that shouldn't be the case because music is meant to be something that unites people instead of dividing them.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: I've spent my whole life around the arts, and I love the arts.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: The arts are vital to the body of Christ, but there's no style of art and no personal preference that is more important than other people in the body of Christ.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: Number five, speak positively about your church.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_00: There's a lot of talk these days about cultural forces that are threatening the church.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_00: However, the church's biggest threats usually come from within its own ranks.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: One important way you can help build up the church is by quote unquote gossiping positively.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: You may not agree with everything at your church, and you might even really dislike the music or even hate the music, but you never have the option of being divisive.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_00: Instead, use your maturity and your influence to help unify the church.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_00: Now, let's just be really frank.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: Some people feel it's their duty to call attention to all the problems in a church or even to publicly challenge the church leadership or its pastors.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_00: And these people develop what I call a martyr mentality, and their goal is to take as many people down with them as possible.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_00: This approach rarely does any good in the body of Christ.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: It almost always ends in broken relationships, a weakened church, and a compromised Christian witness.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: I've always felt that if you can't support your leaders in good conscience, then you should consider finding another church where you can be supportive.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_00: You never ever have the option of causing division, no matter if the issue is music or something else.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: In my opinion, life is way too short to stay at a church or any place else for that matter where you're truly unhappy.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: Number six, focus on the lyrics instead of the music.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: Here's the great thing about good worship songs.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_00: Even if you don't like the music, you can still find meaning in the lyrics.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: And because you're a mature person of faith, you already know that worship songs are just theology in the form of poetry set to music.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: Even if you don't like the particular stylistic container that your church uses in the form of music, you can still appreciate the content of well-chosen worship songs.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, a really great spiritual exercise would be to take a couple of the worship songs that your church uses each week and see if you can find the scriptural connections to those.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: So, in other words, find the Bible connections and meditate on scripture.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: Use the music that you don't like to enhance your own spiritual life.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_00: Number seven, ask God to help you develop a focus on others.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: While the church may not use the type of music that you prefer, ask God to help you set that issue aside so you can focus on other people and what helps them worship.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_00: I think it takes a really mature Christian to do this, and it is definitely not easy.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_00: But in the process of doing this, you will be developing your own character.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_00: Even more important, you'll be setting a great example of humility, servanthood, and maturity for other people.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: Number eight, remember that music is only a small part of the big picture of worship.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_00: The Old Testament contains many references to music.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, the Book of Psalms is basically a catalog of worship songs for ancient Israel.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_00: The New Testament doesn't give us a lot in terms of information and instruction about music in a worship setting.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_00: So when it comes to how the New Testament church worshiped, we really don't have a lot to go on.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_00: Keep in mind that the biblical concept of worship is much, much broader than just music.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_00: The biblical concept of worship is a whole life orientation that involves nothing less than surrendering and sacrificing every part of ourselves to God.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_00: But in the American Church, we have given music such an important part of our worship gatherings that we literally refer to the time of congregational singing as quote unquote worship.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_00: But the big picture of worship in the Bible is much, much broader than that.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_00: So if you don't like the style of music on Sunday mornings, keep this in perspective.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: It's only a few minutes out of your whole week.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: God is much more concerned with how you're worshiping him the rest of the week, not just during a weekly gathering.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, when you start to look at what the New Testament actually says about living a God-pleasing life, there is a lot more emphasis on your character and relationships than on the structure or the style of our worship gatherings.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_00: A church should use the best music it possibly can.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_00: We just need to keep it in perspective in relation to the rest of the week when we're worshiping through work, family life, recreation, and so many other areas.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_00: Now, let me be crystal clear about something, just to kind of make sure everybody understands this.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_00: This episode is in no way meant to be a negative reflection on my church, which is Harvester Christian Church in St.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_00: Charles, Missouri.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_00: I truly enjoy and appreciate our music at our church.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_00: I think our worship staff and our worship teams do an awesome job of planning, organizing, and leading our services.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_00: Instead, this episode is meant to be a thoughtful response to a situation that I've never really heard addressed by anybody, and that is, what happens if a mature, sincere Christian truly dislikes the music at their church?
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_00: Again, this is not the case with me personally because I like our church's music, but I know there are people in every church who struggle with this issue.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_00: So hopefully my suggestions have been helpful and will lead to more discussion, participation, and unity in the body of Christ.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_00: I'd love to hear your thoughts.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_00: Do you have any other good advice for somebody who doesn't like the music at their church?
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_00: You can join the conversation and find the post and the links that accompany this episode at KentSanders.net slash open dash letter dash music.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_00: When you visit my site, you'll find all kinds of great resources to inspire your creativity.
• 12:59
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• 13:02
  SPEAKER_00: You can check it out and learn more about my books, writing, and services at Kent Sanders.net.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_00: I'd love to connect and you can send me a tweet at Kent Sanders, and you can find me on Facebook and Instagram as Kent Sanders.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_00: I hope that you'll also check out our Born to Create Facebook group by visiting KentSanders.net slash Facebook group.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_00: Until next time, remember that you were born to create and designed to make a difference.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_00: What will you do with the time you have left?