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Marriage and Disability · Stuff Mom Never Told You

0:05
Speaker 1: Hey, this is Annie and Samantha among my stuff. Never
0:07
Speaker 1: told you a prediction of iHeartRadio. And today we are
0:21
Speaker 1: doing a listener suggestion from Jude and we'll be reading
0:25
Speaker 1: Jude's message in a second about marriage and disability because
0:29
Speaker 1: it is Disability Pride Month and this is something I
0:32
Speaker 1: think a lot of people don't know about. You can
0:35
Speaker 1: see our recent episode on women in disability, past episodes
0:39
Speaker 1: on the ADA, the past episode we did with Invisible
0:43
Speaker 1: Disability with Eves. We've done a lot of stuff around this,
0:46
Speaker 1: but those are a few that came to my mind.
0:49
Speaker 1: Also a note about terminology. I know I said this recently.
0:53
Speaker 1: There's not agreement currently on the quote correct way say
1:00
Speaker 1: people with disabilities or disabled people. So just a note
1:04
Speaker 1: about that. A lot of people use them interchangeably. Some
1:06
Speaker 1: people have really strong opinions and they have great reasoning
1:10
Speaker 1: behind those opinions. We're probably going to use them based
1:13
Speaker 1: on what the articles we use and also the people
1:19
Speaker 1: are using in context of what we're talking about. So
1:23
Speaker 1: just a note. Also a note we are not legal experts. No,
1:28
Speaker 1: we have never interacted with these services, and they're kind
1:32
Speaker 1: of complicated and I would argue purposely, so which we're
1:36
Speaker 1: going to talk about, but note about that, and just
1:40
Speaker 1: a reminder, the disabled community is the largest marginalized community
1:44
Speaker 1: in the world and a majority of us will experience
1:48
Speaker 1: a temporary disability at one point. All right, So just
1:53
Speaker 1: to reiterate from our recent Monday many on women in
1:55
Speaker 1: disability from the CDC quote, about thirty six million women
1:59
Speaker 1: in the US have disabilities and the numbers growing. About
2:02
Speaker 1: forty four percent of those aged sixty five years are
2:05
Speaker 1: older are living with the disability. The most common cause
2:08
Speaker 1: of disability for women is arthritis, are rheumatism and from now.
2:13
Speaker 1: Women with disabilities are particularly disadvantaged when it comes to
2:16
Speaker 1: wage equality. In twenty twenty two, women who are disabled
2:20
Speaker 1: made seventy two cents for every dollar paid to a
2:22
Speaker 1: man who is disabled. Compared to the non disabled community,
2:26
Speaker 1: women with disabilities made sixty eight cents to every dollar
2:29
Speaker 1: earned by able bodied men. If an individual from this
2:32
Speaker 1: community is seeking employment, the current hiring rate of women
2:36
Speaker 1: with disabilities between the ages of sixteen to sixty four
2:38
Speaker 1: stands at thirty seven percent. Throughout the employment process, women
2:42
Speaker 1: can face challenges ranging from organizational readiness and inclusivity to
2:47
Speaker 1: accessible employment processes. And workplace inclusivity provisions, and of course
2:52
Speaker 1: people of color and black people specifically are disproportionately impacted
2:56
Speaker 1: by all of this as well. Okay, so let us
3:02
Speaker 1: get on to this listener mail, so Jude wrote, I
3:05
Speaker 1: apologize if this has been covered in the past. Part
3:07
Speaker 1: of my disability is memory problems from ect medical treatment,
3:12
Speaker 1: and I apologize for not thinking of this before the
3:14
Speaker 1: month started, because I imagine you record a good chunk of
3:16
Speaker 1: episodes significantly in advance. But I hate the fact marriage
3:21
Speaker 1: equality does not exist for disabled people. I mean, while
3:25
Speaker 1: SSI is not ideal, if you am asked more than
3:27
Speaker 1: two thousand dollars in your bank account, they'll cut you off.
3:30
Speaker 1: There's a loophole called abel accounts, but I do not
3:33
Speaker 1: know that much about these, though opening one is a
3:35
Speaker 1: goal of mine. It's basically all I got because I
3:38
Speaker 1: can't work a normal job. But part of it is
3:40
Speaker 1: you cannot get married, gay or straight without the risk
3:44
Speaker 1: of losing benefits. I've also heard if the government breaking
3:47
Speaker 1: couples apart, they understood they couldn't get married with this fact.
3:52
Speaker 1: It's not a happy topic and I apologize for that,
3:54
Speaker 1: but I think it's a topic more people need to
3:56
Speaker 1: know about. I am on the asexual spectrum, but I'm
3:58
Speaker 1: not completely a romance took or anything. I would love
4:01
Speaker 1: to date someone someday, but I don't look forward to
4:04
Speaker 1: starting a conversation with Since I'm disabled, I legally can
4:07
Speaker 1: never marry you. If you're looking for that sort of thing,
4:10
Speaker 1: go elsewhere. So because of that, I've never tried dating.
4:14
Speaker 1: A few people have dated me in the sense of
4:16
Speaker 1: my oblivious ass not knowing it was a date until
4:18
Speaker 1: they said something. There's more I could say, like that,
4:21
Speaker 1: my government health insurance doesn't cover gender affirming care, so
4:25
Speaker 1: while I am pursuing top surgery, I'm going to have
4:28
Speaker 1: to find another way to pay for it. If you
4:30
Speaker 1: know of a way for me to become a best
4:32
Speaker 1: selling author, you know where to find me. Lol. If
4:36
Speaker 1: I did, I would reach out immediately.
4:40
Speaker 2: And hopefully we would be with you.
4:42
Speaker 1: Hopefully we would be with you. Indeed, please buy her
4:47
Speaker 1: book available wherever you get your books. Thanks dude.
4:57
Speaker 2: That's so sad. I did not realize I was.
5:00
Speaker 3: I've heard many people talk about not getting married for
5:03
Speaker 3: several reasons like this does hurt my benefits for this
5:06
Speaker 3: through the dual income thing. But wow, this is a
5:09
Speaker 3: whole different level.
5:10
Speaker 1: Yes, I had only heard kind of anecdotally about it.
5:14
Speaker 1: I never researched into it. And so thank you very
5:17
Speaker 1: much Jude for sending this to us, because, like I said,
5:21
Speaker 1: I think a lot of people don't know about it.
5:22
Speaker 1: It's very important to talk about. And Jude also sent
5:26
Speaker 1: resources which we are going to be referencing throughout this
5:29
Speaker 1: And like I said, it is a bit of a
5:32
Speaker 1: complicated discussion because it involves a few walls and regulations.
5:36
Speaker 1: So we're going to break down some of the important ones. First,
5:40
Speaker 1: all revolving around government benefits, largely federal government benefits. Social
5:45
Speaker 1: Security are otherwise that disabled people in the US can
5:49
Speaker 1: use based on their ability or not to work. Oh
5:52
Speaker 1: and just for fun, the rules aren't consistent, so that's fun. Yeah,
5:57
Speaker 1: But onwards.
5:59
Speaker 3: So this is one of the articles that you sent
6:02
Speaker 3: from the Disability Secrets by Bethany K.
6:04
Speaker 2: Lawrence.
6:05
Speaker 3: So one is Supplementary Security Income SSI for people with
6:10
Speaker 3: disabilities who have very low incomes and those who don't
6:13
Speaker 3: qualify for SSDI. And in twenty twenty four, the SSI
6:17
Speaker 3: income limit for one person is nine hundred and forty
6:19
Speaker 3: three dollars per month, and for couples it is fourteen
6:22
Speaker 3: hundred and fifteen dollars a month.
6:24
Speaker 2: That is not a lot.
6:25
Speaker 3: Social Security Disability Insurance SSDI for eligible workers who can't
6:29
Speaker 3: work because of disability, disabled adult child benefits which are
6:34
Speaker 3: based on your parents' earnings record, and surviving spouse benefits,
6:37
Speaker 3: which are based on that record of your deceased spouse
6:40
Speaker 3: or ex spouse.
6:42
Speaker 1: Right, So those are some key terms we're going to
6:44
Speaker 1: be using throughout this. But when it comes to this
6:47
Speaker 1: question of marriage and how marriage impacts these benefits are doesn't,
6:53
Speaker 1: which is what we're specifically looking into. We're going to
6:56
Speaker 1: go kind of piece by piece. So let's start with
7:00
Speaker 1: SSI Supplemental Security income, which is the most important in
7:05
Speaker 1: terms of this conversation. This was established about fifty years ago.
7:11
Speaker 1: Getting married doesn't impact eligibility for SSI, but the spouse's
7:18
Speaker 1: income does. So if the spouse in question has an
7:22
Speaker 1: income and you live with them, then that does impact
7:26
Speaker 1: those receiving SSI because the Social Security Administration or the
7:30
Speaker 1: SSA will pin some of the spouse's income to the
7:33
Speaker 1: person getting it.
7:35
Speaker 3: Right, And I'm pretty sure we'll probably talk about this,
7:38
Speaker 3: but This is also the conversation of like domestic violence
7:42
Speaker 3: being higher and abuse being higher within the disabled communities
7:47
Speaker 3: because of rules like this. Yeah, just as a reminder,
7:50
Speaker 3: this practice is called deeming spousal income. Basically, they quote
7:54
Speaker 3: deem that a portion of a legally married spouse spouse's
7:57
Speaker 3: income to the disabled person in question can essentially lower
8:00
Speaker 3: the SSI or make them ineligible entirely. And reminder, we
8:06
Speaker 3: pay taxes yeah that go into this. That has been
8:11
Speaker 3: used for military use, but not for people in our community.
8:14
Speaker 1: Again, reminder, it's also not limited to legal marriage either.
8:19
Speaker 1: It impacts those quote holding themselves out to be married.
8:24
Speaker 1: This very much confused me, but it essentially means you're
8:28
Speaker 1: presenting yourselves as married and or are essentially married, as
8:32
Speaker 1: we would traditionally judge it. Quote. If there's any evidence
8:36
Speaker 1: that either of you present yourselves to others as married,
8:39
Speaker 1: social security will probe further asking questions such as, how
8:44
Speaker 1: do you introduce the other person in social situations? How
8:47
Speaker 1: is mail addressed to you and the other person? Do
8:50
Speaker 1: you still use your married name if applicable? Do you
8:53
Speaker 1: own your home jointly? If you rent, are both your
8:57
Speaker 1: names on the lease? Do your bills, bank accounts, and
9:01
Speaker 1: tax returns identify you as married, so the SSA could
9:07
Speaker 1: judge you're pretty much married. I'm guessing that they think
9:11
Speaker 1: you're trying to evade the rules by being married in
9:14
Speaker 1: all but documentation and lower or remove the benefits of SSI.
9:21
Speaker 1: We found a it was a really dry report from
9:25
Speaker 1: two thousand and three from the SSA about this, and
9:29
Speaker 1: it seemed to hilariously be like, Yep, it's better if
9:32
Speaker 1: you don't get married but are living together, but yeah,
9:36
Speaker 1: you can't hold out for marriage. They like saying the
9:40
Speaker 1: quiet part out loud.
9:42
Speaker 3: I mean, I think there's a lot of people who
9:45
Speaker 3: have that conversation in general about legalities in marriage in general,
9:49
Speaker 3: and for those who do want to get married, that's
9:51
Speaker 3: so absurd.
9:51
Speaker 2: But for those who.
9:52
Speaker 3: Don't want to get married, they're like, I'm good with it.
9:54
Speaker 3: I'm one of those people from Disability Secrets. If you're
9:57
Speaker 3: living with someone but not married to that part and
10:00
Speaker 3: we're never married, social Security might count your roommate's income
10:05
Speaker 3: as if you were married. This could lower your SSI
10:08
Speaker 3: benefit or even make you ineligible for benefits. But if
10:11
Speaker 3: you're living with a sibling, a caregiver, or a platonic roommate.
10:14
Speaker 3: The SSA wouldn't consider the other person's income. If someone
10:18
Speaker 3: is getting free room aboard from a person they're living with,
10:21
Speaker 3: this can cut their SSI buy one third. Yep.
10:27
Speaker 1: If both the people in question receive SSI, their payments
10:30
Speaker 1: are combined and lowered to the couple's rate, which is
10:34
Speaker 1: lower than twice the singles rate. So, in other words,
10:38
Speaker 1: two single people together are getting more, but if you
10:42
Speaker 1: become a couple and you get the couple's rate, you're
10:44
Speaker 1: getting less.
10:45
Speaker 2: Just absurd.
10:46
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it has been called the marriage penalty. So
10:52
Speaker 1: this amounts to going from nine hundred and forty three
10:55
Speaker 1: dollars a month, which, as you said, Samantha, is very
10:57
Speaker 1: very low for a single person, to a seven hundred
11:00
Speaker 1: and seven dollars a person a month for a married
11:04
Speaker 1: couple if both are receiving SSI. This also impacts countable
11:09
Speaker 1: resources outside of a car, house, and household goods. This
11:14
Speaker 1: is reportedly because the SSA believes it's cheaper and easier
11:18
Speaker 1: living with another person, but it's basically saying, if you
11:23
Speaker 1: marry someone who is making forty thousand dollars a year,
11:25
Speaker 1: which is about the federal minimum wage ish they make
11:29
Speaker 1: enough to take care of you completely, which is out
11:32
Speaker 1: of touch and wrong and no, sorry, I wish what
11:39
Speaker 1: and this isn't taking into account so many things, so
11:41
Speaker 1: many things like wage stagnation, the gender pay gap, childcare,
11:46
Speaker 1: numerous unpaid and unseen things that go into care or rent,
11:50
Speaker 1: in housing control, the difficulty of getting a disability friendly job,
11:54
Speaker 1: the difficulty of getting these benefits in the first place,
11:57
Speaker 1: the difficulty of understanding how they work, work, the paperwork.
12:02
Speaker 1: I'm telling you. When I was researching this, my mind
12:08
Speaker 1: was like, oh my gosh, I'm so tired.
12:11
Speaker 3: The amount of people I've had to advise in social
12:14
Speaker 3: work to do their disability paperwork twice and to make
12:18
Speaker 3: sure that you appeal because you will most likely be
12:20
Speaker 3: denied immediately no matter what. Like my parents, who are
12:24
Speaker 3: very staunchly conservative and all like I don't want to
12:27
Speaker 3: take care of anybody else, they had to go for
12:30
Speaker 3: disability paperwork. They got denied, and they were very upset
12:33
Speaker 3: because we would never take advantage of ma'am, ma'am. And
12:38
Speaker 3: then me having to talk to them like you have
12:40
Speaker 3: to appeal. I don't think they did. I think they
12:42
Speaker 3: got discouraged and they didn't. I'm like, no, you have
12:45
Speaker 3: to appeal these paperwork because they are literally stacked against you.
12:49
Speaker 3: Any kind of paperwork when it comes to federal government,
12:53
Speaker 3: which for assistance for any of that are probably some
12:55
Speaker 3: of the most complicated paperwork I have ever seen. One
12:59
Speaker 3: of the best things that happened in my college course
13:02
Speaker 3: was us being given a full form and told do
13:05
Speaker 3: this as an assignment, and then coming back and realizing
13:07
Speaker 3: we'd all know mistakes, it had to start over again,
13:09
Speaker 3: and that what that process looked like. And this is
13:12
Speaker 3: exactly what they do to try to discourage a person
13:15
Speaker 3: who was in need. So all of these things is
13:18
Speaker 3: such a way to hinder and discourage a person from
13:22
Speaker 3: getting actual assistance, which they've probably probably already paid into,
13:27
Speaker 3: which is the other part that's like, uh anyway, Also, yeah,
13:31
Speaker 3: with all that, children also factor into the equation here.
13:34
Speaker 3: Each child impacts the numbers in terms of when a
13:37
Speaker 3: spouse's income is attributed to the person receiving SSI.
13:40
Speaker 1: Yes, and speaking of complicated, so it's like a chart
13:44
Speaker 1: how many children you have, how much money you'll get
13:47
Speaker 1: or won't get. Basically, by getting married, a disabled person
13:51
Speaker 1: could receive less or none of the benefits they were
13:54
Speaker 1: receiving before. This can mean a huge difference in quality
13:58
Speaker 1: of life, or even the difference between the life life
14:00
Speaker 1: or death, so it's a really big deal. The SSA
14:06
Speaker 1: requires that those receiving SSI contact them within ten days
14:10
Speaker 1: of marriage are new living arrangements. Otherwise they will charge
14:15
Speaker 1: an overpayment, which is usually collected by withholding SSI payments.
14:21
Speaker 1: And if anyone's dealt with stuff like this before, the
14:26
Speaker 1: interest rate if they choose to charge it can be outrageous.
14:31
Speaker 1: And I feel ten days, you're just so stressed during
14:36
Speaker 1: those times. I can easily see how that would fall
14:40
Speaker 1: through the cracks.
14:41
Speaker 3: Yeah, people don't even go and get their name changed
14:44
Speaker 3: or get their status change. Some of them don't even
14:46
Speaker 3: go and get their marriage certificate and turned down, Like
14:50
Speaker 3: I know that it takes a long time. Women changing
14:52
Speaker 3: their last name. Oh my gosh, it's a damn process.
14:56
Speaker 1: So this, yeah, it feels like you would have to
15:00
Speaker 1: with the mail being what it is, so you would
15:03
Speaker 1: have to mail it pretty much immediately right to work
15:06
Speaker 1: to rip in time.
15:08
Speaker 3: Right, And they probably don't give you notice that tell
15:10
Speaker 3: you that you did that, because the IRAS sure doesn't.
15:13
Speaker 2: So You're like, I don't know if it went in
15:14
Speaker 2: or not. I got I hope so rectors cross situation
15:19
Speaker 2: if they wanted to take home more money from me. Thanks.
15:31
Speaker 3: So here's a quote from nineteenth News. Qualifying for SSI
15:34
Speaker 3: is important even for people with significant disabilities who can work,
15:38
Speaker 3: because eligibility is tied to being able to receive home
15:41
Speaker 3: and community based services covered by Medicaid. In many states,
15:45
Speaker 3: Medicaid is the only health insurance that provides in home care,
15:49
Speaker 3: and the average cost ranges from fifty one thousand to
15:52
Speaker 3: seventy thousand per year according to the Government Accountability Office.
15:56
Speaker 3: Even most people making middle class income and salary jobs
15:59
Speaker 3: can afford the level of care out of pocket. And again,
16:03
Speaker 3: as someone who has experienced trying to get care for
16:05
Speaker 3: people and assistance for people, it is incredibly expensive. The
16:11
Speaker 3: amount of cost per hour, and they charge per hour,
16:16
Speaker 3: and it could be as simply and it's based on
16:18
Speaker 3: the provider. And by the way, it's the limited amount
16:20
Speaker 3: of people that are providers is so small that it's
16:24
Speaker 3: probably one of the most discouraging things I've ever seen
16:26
Speaker 3: in my life because the likelihood that these people are
16:28
Speaker 3: qualified for very specific things are low.
16:30
Speaker 2: To zero.
16:32
Speaker 3: I've never been more frustrated in my life than trying
16:35
Speaker 3: to get accessible care for those who are desperately in
16:38
Speaker 3: need who are on Medicaid. And y'all, to get on
16:42
Speaker 3: Medicaid you have to be in the poverty level essentially,
16:45
Speaker 3: which is also another problem because you want to live
16:48
Speaker 3: and free yourself. So there's so many complications to this,
16:51
Speaker 3: and if you get too much assistance, by the way,
16:53
Speaker 3: it can stack against you. Yes, so much of this,
16:56
Speaker 3: So just getting that I can't imagine, because in home
17:02
Speaker 3: camera's probably one of the most expensive ways outside of
17:06
Speaker 3: being in an institution that is actually qualified with true
17:12
Speaker 3: amount of medical professionals who can actually cater to their clientele.
17:17
Speaker 3: So what I mean by that is like having one
17:19
Speaker 3: doctor of per threte patients instead of one doctor per
17:21
Speaker 3: one hundred patients type of thing. So it's incredibly difficult.
17:26
Speaker 3: And the amount of people who the good ones who
17:30
Speaker 3: stop providing services for Medicaid because they've had, god had
17:33
Speaker 3: so many run arounds with the government and not being
17:36
Speaker 3: able to do that for them for people, as you
17:40
Speaker 3: can tell, I could keep going, but it's one of
17:42
Speaker 3: the most frustrating, disheartening and honestly it does feel like
17:45
Speaker 3: it's a bit of eugenics within the government when it
17:49
Speaker 3: comes to stuff like this.
17:50
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, we'll touch on that more briefly in a second.
17:55
Speaker 1: But this has been continues to be a big point
17:57
Speaker 1: of conversation because we have people in government that are
18:01
Speaker 1: seeing things like I understand, I can go days without
18:05
Speaker 1: this necessary piece of life. I don't know why we
18:09
Speaker 1: have to provide.
18:11
Speaker 3: It's not like I go back to my regular life
18:13
Speaker 3: after the one day I tried to see what this felt.
18:15
Speaker 1: Like, right, Oh makes me mad? And yeah, like like
18:21
Speaker 1: you're saying, those those home care hours are huge and
18:24
Speaker 1: there's so many it's so important. In many cases, it's
18:27
Speaker 1: about like human dignity and the cost of losing that
18:34
Speaker 1: and the cost of providing that. And on top of this,
18:35
Speaker 1: we need to have another conversation about how we pay
18:38
Speaker 1: workers for doing this, because there is a reason there's
18:42
Speaker 1: so much burnout and it's not compensated or respected like
18:48
Speaker 1: it should.
18:49
Speaker 3: Be, you know, as in fact, most of the times
18:51
Speaker 3: that the workers are there, they're unqualified. And I don't
18:55
Speaker 3: see that as I'm not saying that as a slap
18:58
Speaker 3: to those who are in there in the field. What
19:00
Speaker 3: I'm talking about is in general, they're so unwilling to
19:03
Speaker 3: pay the people what they're worth that they're willing to
19:06
Speaker 3: hire people who are not qualified to do it, so
19:08
Speaker 3: maybe have one or two like ten hour courses and
19:12
Speaker 3: then they come in as an assistant without like any conversations.
19:17
Speaker 3: Like I've had friends who would do part time jobs
19:20
Speaker 3: as college students being parapros. So they assist those with
19:23
Speaker 3: disabilities in schools and try to be like active advocates
19:28
Speaker 3: and all that, but they're not really qualified. They're just
19:31
Speaker 3: sometimes college students who just need extra money, which means
19:34
Speaker 3: they're not giving the care. Not not everyone, because there
19:37
Speaker 3: are those who really do care and love their job
19:38
Speaker 3: and love the people they're representing, so I'm not saying that.
19:41
Speaker 3: But the qualifications are so low that any almost anyone
19:44
Speaker 3: can do it. So it's kind of like, is this
19:47
Speaker 3: really helping? Are you just throwing, like, you know, a
19:50
Speaker 3: band aid over a huge gap of needs, And which
19:52
Speaker 3: is also often why a lot of the kids in
19:54
Speaker 3: the system that have any type of disabilities, learning disabilities,
19:57
Speaker 3: any of that, are left behind because again, no one
19:59
Speaker 3: is really qualified to represent them and advocate for them,
20:04
Speaker 3: and they don't know how. That's that other conversation. It's
20:06
Speaker 3: like the parents don't know how, so the pair pros
20:08
Speaker 3: definitely don't know how oftentimes. So I say this with
20:12
Speaker 3: like having seeing that and then although imposing all these
20:17
Speaker 3: things on top of that and not allowing for people
20:20
Speaker 3: with disabilities to have the life that they want.
20:23
Speaker 2: It's just such an odd thing.
20:25
Speaker 3: And so having these workers who are not qualified because
20:28
Speaker 3: they don't care enough to teach and or give them.
20:30
Speaker 2: The qualifications that they need.
20:32
Speaker 3: And then the ones that are so good at it
20:34
Speaker 3: and the ones who are caring and the ones who
20:36
Speaker 3: do go beyond to learn about it are burned out,
20:39
Speaker 3: like you said, And it's all literal minimum wage because
20:41
Speaker 3: that's the only the most maybe is like twelve dollars
20:46
Speaker 3: an hour, and this is for the sake of someone
20:49
Speaker 3: else's livelihood.
20:50
Speaker 2: Like it's like question mark.
20:52
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, a lot of big question marks in this one.
20:58
Speaker 1: So that is SSI. Let us talk about SSDI or
21:04
Speaker 1: Social Security Disability Insurance. Okay, so if someone has worked
21:08
Speaker 1: long enough to qualify for SSDI, getting married shouldn't affect.
21:14
Speaker 1: There are their spouse's benefit payments. There aren't income limits,
21:19
Speaker 1: there aren't property limits like there are with SSI. Now,
21:23
Speaker 1: if someone gets both SSDI and SSI, that can change
21:28
Speaker 1: the answer that being said. If a person is collecting
21:31
Speaker 1: SSDI from someone else based on their work, marrying or
21:36
Speaker 1: other things can impact the benefit amount. So here are
21:40
Speaker 1: a couple of common examples of that. An adult child
21:44
Speaker 1: receiving benefits from their parents SSDI based on their parents
21:48
Speaker 1: work record will probably lose the SSDI benefits. By getting married,
21:54
Speaker 1: children can lose their parents SSDI dependence benefits based on
21:57
Speaker 1: a couple of things, including turning eighteen or nineteen depending
22:01
Speaker 1: or getting married. Another big example, widowers are eligible for
22:06
Speaker 1: receiving their partner's SSDI if they were eligible. However, if
22:10
Speaker 1: you're younger than sixty, are younger than fifty, and don't
22:14
Speaker 1: have a disability and you remarry, those benefits stop, which
22:19
Speaker 1: I think again is ridiculous because yeah, like you said,
22:24
Speaker 1: you put work and money into this, Like wow, okay,
22:27
Speaker 1: it goes away right all right. And just to note here,
22:33
Speaker 1: I know we joke about it on the show. You
22:35
Speaker 1: can hear it in our voices because we laugh when
22:38
Speaker 1: we feel helpless. Our healthcare system in the US is
22:41
Speaker 1: a mess at best at best, and this isn't to
22:46
Speaker 1: say there aren't amazing people working in it, working to
22:49
Speaker 1: change it. We've heard from some of you, we know
22:51
Speaker 1: some of you, and you're amazing, and you do so
22:54
Speaker 1: much in the face of so much. But in this case,
22:57
Speaker 1: what we're talking about specifically here is some of the
23:01
Speaker 1: routine medications and procedures or visits for people receiving SSI
23:05
Speaker 1: or SSDI are thousands, if not tens of thousands of
23:09
Speaker 1: dollars a month. And we know all about private insurance
23:13
Speaker 1: and how they try to get around covering people with
23:15
Speaker 1: pre existing conditions legal or not. It's not supposed to
23:18
Speaker 1: be legal, but I feel like they still get away
23:21
Speaker 1: with it. And this includes a spouse's insurance, which seems
23:24
Speaker 1: to be a big part of what underpins this marriage penalty,
23:27
Speaker 1: which we also know if you're depending on your spouse's
23:30
Speaker 1: private insurance that that can look pretty grim as well.
23:37
Speaker 1: So it's really really expensive ultimately, as what I'm saying,
23:43
Speaker 1: and most of us, I would say almost all of
23:46
Speaker 1: us couldn't afford it. So Jude also sent us an
23:51
Speaker 1: NPR story from twenty twenty two called millions of disabled
23:54
Speaker 1: Americans could lose federal benefits if they get married by
23:58
Speaker 1: Eric Mahoney that pr fashion has a very specific personal
24:03
Speaker 1: story while also telling like a much larger story in it.
24:07
Speaker 1: Mahoney interviews Congressman Jimmy Panetta of California, who had recently
24:11
Speaker 1: introduced the Marriage Equality for Disabled Built Act in the
24:14
Speaker 1: US House of Representatives. Other states like Ohio and Louisiana
24:18
Speaker 1: falliwed suit. I feel like all of them have been stalled.
24:23
Speaker 1: But please let me know if that's not true, and
24:27
Speaker 1: they dive into how these laws and rules were written.
24:30
Speaker 1: It was just assumed people with disabilities wouldn't get married,
24:33
Speaker 1: which is an incredibly ablest idea that we've talked about
24:37
Speaker 1: before and also holds the kind of infantilizing and desexualizing
24:43
Speaker 1: of people with disabilities within it, but also a long
24:47
Speaker 1: history of violence and control. It's also true the idea
24:52
Speaker 1: used to be that one person, the man in a
24:55
Speaker 1: very heterosexual sense, was the breadwinner who took care of
24:59
Speaker 1: the wife, who did all the housekeeping. This is no
25:02
Speaker 1: longer the case and really not possible for a lot
25:05
Speaker 1: of people. Almost everyone I know that's in a couple
25:09
Speaker 1: can only exist based on dual income. It's just really
25:13
Speaker 1: antiquated and yes, we need to address why single income
25:17
Speaker 1: homes are so unrealistic now too, and pay people who
25:21
Speaker 1: take care of kids. Having kids is.
25:23
Speaker 3: Expensive, right, I think it's just such a weird fault
25:27
Speaker 3: of like again in a world where our country specifically
25:31
Speaker 3: is like, we need to care for the children, but
25:33
Speaker 3: not really few and you take it on your own.
25:36
Speaker 2: You're on your own.
25:37
Speaker 3: It's gotten like this level of disconnect where you think, well,
25:42
Speaker 3: now they have children, and you're pushes for more children
25:45
Speaker 3: to be born because that's your thing.
25:47
Speaker 2: Apparently, how are you going to help?
25:49
Speaker 1: Yeah, And there's like so many things that we've talked
25:54
Speaker 1: about very briefly or mentioned very briefly in this that
25:57
Speaker 1: I might well, at the very least, so you could
26:00
Speaker 1: do something to raise the like our pay what we get.
26:05
Speaker 1: You could do something to prevent housing and rent going wild,
26:12
Speaker 1: like so many small things.
26:13
Speaker 3: How about what you can do we save the environment
26:16
Speaker 3: and help the environment so our children don't grow into
26:19
Speaker 3: this horrible, horrible healthscape with no access to anything because
26:23
Speaker 3: you know, beaches are being closed off because of bacteria
26:25
Speaker 3: that's growing because of climate change and pollution.
26:28
Speaker 2: We can do about that, y'all.
26:30
Speaker 3: But yeah, on top of that, if every child is
26:33
Speaker 3: special and unique and has all these things, then we
26:36
Speaker 3: need to treat each child as a special case and
26:39
Speaker 3: provide exactly what is needed, including whatever medical care they need,
26:45
Speaker 3: and without grumbling and without fighting and without overcharging.
26:49
Speaker 2: Mm hmmm, that would be awesome too.
26:52
Speaker 3: And here and just like one more reminder here, disability
26:56
Speaker 3: in this country is expensive and very very expensive. Another
27:02
Speaker 3: story re read estimated that without Medicaid provided through SSI,
27:07
Speaker 3: the person in question would have to pay one hundred
27:09
Speaker 3: thousand to two hundred thousand a year for in home business. Yeah,
27:12
Speaker 3: that's the number I was looking for, honestly, because fifty
27:16
Speaker 3: to seventy with Medicaid is pretty generous. I think even
27:22
Speaker 3: with Medicaid it would probably hit to one hundred thousand
27:24
Speaker 3: grand a year, especially if it's like in home care
27:29
Speaker 3: consistent in home care.
27:31
Speaker 1: H Yeah, and it depends on so many factors too.
27:37
Speaker 1: But it's expensive, that we can say for sure. And
27:51
Speaker 1: going back to another point that you mentioned, Samantha, another
27:56
Speaker 1: part of this whole thing is this over blown and
28:00
Speaker 1: politicized fear of fraud that people are essentially trying to
28:05
Speaker 1: gain the system, and that people with disabilities are lazy
28:08
Speaker 1: and aren't trustworthy, not worthy honestly, and not only is
28:13
Speaker 1: that completely wrong, it was clear and doing this research.
28:16
Speaker 1: As I said, how difficult every step of this is,
28:20
Speaker 1: from getting the benefits to proving that you need them,
28:23
Speaker 1: to keeping them right.
28:24
Speaker 3: Just as a reminder, to lose disability, it doesn't take
28:27
Speaker 3: anything literally like to like. You have to be so
28:30
Speaker 3: on top of everything that you may not even get
28:33
Speaker 3: a notice that you're about to be dropped.
28:35
Speaker 1: Yes, there have been a lot of news stories about
28:37
Speaker 1: that lately. Here's a quote from Forbes. As disability scholar
28:41
Speaker 1: Ari Niemann recently noted in a New York Times article
28:44
Speaker 1: on how benefits are confusing by design, the sheer complexity
28:47
Speaker 1: of these different rules are, like most disability benefits rules,
28:51
Speaker 1: kafka esque. Intentionally or not, they further penalize people who
28:56
Speaker 1: have less access to accurate information and less ability to
28:59
Speaker 1: strategic plan out their finances and legal arrangements. Because obviously,
29:03
Speaker 1: if you know about these penalties ahead of time, you
29:05
Speaker 1: can avoid them by simply not getting married. It's a
29:10
Speaker 1: terrible position and a gut wrenching decision, as anyone who
29:13
Speaker 1: is married or has wanted to marry well knows, But
29:16
Speaker 1: the penalty itself and the supposed savings to the taxpayer
29:20
Speaker 1: is easily avoided, but it's also easily triggered if the
29:24
Speaker 1: people involved don't know about it, or if they get
29:27
Speaker 1: bad advice about it. In a sense, the government hopes
29:30
Speaker 1: in part to save money by disabled people accidentally triggering
29:34
Speaker 1: these benefits reductions.
29:37
Speaker 3: Right again a guy actor where they also hope they
29:40
Speaker 3: can just kill them off. It's eugenics legitimately any we
29:44
Speaker 3: can continue on another times. Articles from twenty sixteen quotes
29:48
Speaker 3: Philip Cohen, a sociologist at the University of Maryland, College Park,
29:52
Speaker 3: who knows the overall first marriage rate in the United
29:55
Speaker 3: States from people age eighteen to forty nine is forty
29:58
Speaker 3: eight point nine per one thousand, for people with disability
30:02
Speaker 3: is just twenty four point four.
30:06
Speaker 1: And yes, as you said, some have even brought up
30:08
Speaker 1: the dark history of eugenics in this and how this
30:11
Speaker 1: intentionally or not seems to discourage disabled people from getting married,
30:15
Speaker 1: which is something many people do before I have kids,
30:18
Speaker 1: not everybody. It even seems to incentivize divorce, which, when
30:23
Speaker 1: you put it in context of the whole Christian Conservative
30:26
Speaker 1: push for the nuclear family, seems a little off something
30:33
Speaker 1: is not right.
30:34
Speaker 3: Well, I mean, if we follow along those lines and
30:37
Speaker 3: we know that it comes from an area and background.
30:39
Speaker 2: It makes a lot more sense.
30:41
Speaker 3: It's true we laugh because we're in vain, but yeah,
30:46
Speaker 3: but that's just real.
30:48
Speaker 1: Yeah, yep. And of course there are a lot of
30:52
Speaker 1: discussions and disagreements around marriage, but for many it does
30:55
Speaker 1: signify acceptance by society, a legal recognition of commitment, something
31:00
Speaker 1: someone may have wanted their whole life. And for a
31:03
Speaker 1: lot of folks, there are substantial government benefits for getting married,
31:06
Speaker 1: and it seems pretty dub that in this case it's
31:10
Speaker 1: the opposite. If it's a choice between living and functioning
31:16
Speaker 1: in marriage, then there's no real choices there. And I
31:19
Speaker 1: feel like the fact that they have that kind of
31:22
Speaker 1: holding out for marriage really drives home the point it
31:29
Speaker 1: doesn't even matter if they think that you're basically a
31:33
Speaker 1: married couple, then that they're going to take those benefits
31:39
Speaker 1: away anyway, right.
31:41
Speaker 3: Literally trying to find any reason to take the benefits away.
31:44
Speaker 1: Yeah mm hmm uh. And as I said, for some people,
31:49
Speaker 1: this is yeah, this is life or death. This is right.
31:53
Speaker 2: So for a chunk of people, this is life or death.
31:56
Speaker 3: Like endpoint because as what we've talked about before, and
31:59
Speaker 3: as been said it stated by many disability activists, being
32:04
Speaker 3: able bodied is temporary, whether it's age or whatever, whatnot,
32:10
Speaker 3: being disabled is a reality is going to happen. We
32:14
Speaker 3: see that again, Like you know, we've talked to you
32:16
Speaker 3: and I have talked about the fact that our parents
32:17
Speaker 3: recently had gone to the hospital for different incidents, and
32:21
Speaker 3: we fear when they fall or when they do something
32:23
Speaker 3: and are no longer able to care for themselves. The
32:25
Speaker 3: cost of money just in trying to find in living
32:29
Speaker 3: care for elderly yeah, is absurd. And if you if
32:33
Speaker 3: they are not already like provided by Medicare, which is great,
32:37
Speaker 3: but they're still trying to cut Medicare. We saw that
32:39
Speaker 3: in the state of Georgia. They're trying to cut Medicare
32:42
Speaker 3: and trying to reason with my parents about like your
32:45
Speaker 3: governor has done this, but they don't quite see it.
32:48
Speaker 3: Like they have come to the realization that Medicare is
32:51
Speaker 3: allowed for them to go get examinations, which I'm really
32:54
Speaker 3: glad that they have actually taken the opportunity to use
32:57
Speaker 3: those benefits, but like trying to remind them to is
33:00
Speaker 3: very very We're on a very like thin line on.
33:03
Speaker 2: Whether or not this is going to be accessible in
33:05
Speaker 2: the future.
33:06
Speaker 1: Yes, and just to note again I'm not legal experts,
33:11
Speaker 1: but a lot of this does relate to in the
33:14
Speaker 1: US when you get like social Security as an older
33:18
Speaker 1: person as well, so a lot of it does.
33:19
Speaker 2: Have right, They're all interlocking.
33:21
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's just please don't look up, do your own research.
33:26
Speaker 1: I hope this is a good starting off point. But
33:31
Speaker 1: like we said, it's confusing. It's purposely designed to be confusing,
33:34
Speaker 1: and it changes often. It changes often, so I believe
33:38
Speaker 1: the numbers be quoted in this was as of twenty
33:40
Speaker 1: twenty three or twenty twenty four, so it was a
33:42
Speaker 1: recent change. But yeah, I'm thank you so much, Jude,
33:50
Speaker 1: yeah for suggesting this. And if there's anything we got
33:54
Speaker 1: wrong or could have phrased better, because I was a
33:58
Speaker 1: little like, wow, us some damnse documentation. Yes, please let
34:04
Speaker 1: us know. And if there are any resources or if
34:07
Speaker 1: you have any stories you would like us to share.
34:10
Speaker 1: I would love to hear from all of you. You
34:14
Speaker 1: can email us at Stuff Media, moom stuff at iHeartMedia
34:17
Speaker 1: dot com. You can find us on Twitter at mom
34:19
Speaker 1: Stuff Podcast. We're also on Instagram and TikTok at stuff
34:22
Speaker 1: I never told you. We're on YouTube, and we are
34:24
Speaker 1: on public, and we have a book you can get
34:27
Speaker 1: wherever you get your books, where we did talk about
34:29
Speaker 1: some of this stuff in there. Thanks as always to
34:32
Speaker 1: our super producer Christina, our executive producer Maya, and our
34:34
Speaker 1: contributor Joey.
34:35
Speaker 2: Thank you.
34:36
Speaker 1: Thanks to you for listening stuff I Never told you
34:38
Speaker 1: This direction of My Heart Radio. For more podcast from
34:39
Speaker 1: my Heart Radio, you can check out the heart Radio
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