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Transcript

DON'T GIVE UP! · Divas That Care Network

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to Powering Through Life on Diva's Vet Care Network.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_01: I'm your host, Teresa Sims.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_01: I'm a life trauma and assertiveness coach and an award-winning author and multiple number one best-selling co-author.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_01: Each week on Powering Through Life, my guest and I will discuss a special topic that is close to their heart.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_01: Together, we will explore the challenges they have faced in life and Thank you so much.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_01: So rather than following the standard format today and reading off Meg's bio, I thought I would change things up a little bit and I would like to invite Meg to tell us her story, how this all began and her journey from the beginning through depression and to where she is now.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_01: So welcome Meg to Powering Through Life.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you, Teresa.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: It's nice to be here.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I'm so glad that we can do this.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_01: It's incredible how, you know, I was so honored to be invited to your first speaking engagement and just loved supporting you.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_01: And I really enjoyed your story.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_01: So will you please share it with our listeners?
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: I'd be happy to.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_00: And the reason I would be happy to do that is that I don't want the struggle that I've been through to be in vain.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: I want to help other people and give them hope.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: I was 18.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: I was writing the incredibly difficult grade 13 exams that were departmental exams for us kids in grade 13.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: And so I studied like I had never studied before, and I know my immune system was probably really down.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_00: I lost weight, and I just had to pass those exams.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: I did not want to spend another year in high school.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: Phone rang early in the morning.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: I could hear my mother crying, which she seldom ever, ever did.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: And her sister, my aunt, had passed away.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: So I said, do you want me to go over to the house with you, Mom?
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: And she said, no, you've got exams to write.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: That was the first, second time that I'd ever seen a person in a casket write.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: The first was when I was eight years old.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: My grandmother had passed away.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: Her body was lying, you know, in a casket in the old farmhouse living room.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: And some well-meaning soul picked me up, kicking and screaming, took me up to the casket, and there was this box with my grandmother lying in it, and I thought they'd cut her feet off.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: I had no idea what was happening.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: I knew she was dead.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: It was horrible, horrible, horrible for me.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: And that traumatized me for the rest of my life, basically, eight years old.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: I couldn't tell my mom because she was so upset losing her sister.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: And I just buried it.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: But I would...
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_00: hold my breath, walking past the funeral home.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: The next time that happened was when this aunt died, grade 13, and I know that I was down.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: Everything in my system was down.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: I went to school, and I walked out of a class.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: And in 1959, you did not walk out of a classroom.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: I did.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: I went to the nurse's room.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: The teacher sent my girlfriend down to see what was the matter.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: I told her my aunt had died.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: I was really upset.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: That, again, changed my life.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_00: And that, again, I kept that close to me.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: It was so traumatic.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_00: So, go ahead, Teresa.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I can imagine that, you know, at that time...
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_01: People didn't really discuss death.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_01: They didn't share.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_01: They just assumed it.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_01: Everyone knew how to handle it.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_01: But I don't think at the same time they were able to deal with it either, let alone trying to help a child understand what was going on, right?
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: No, no one explained much to me at all.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: So that was the start of it.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: And then in my 20s, it reared its ugly head again.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_00: And as a newlywed, it was just awful.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_00: And I was an elementary school teacher, and my principal, who was a very upright, proper gentleman, not anybody warm and fuzzy, said to me one day, I think I had walked out of my classroom where I was teaching.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't know it, but I think that's what happened.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: And he said, I think you need to see a psychiatrist.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: So you could have blown me away.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: I
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_02: mean,
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: me?
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_00: Why would I see a psychiatrist?
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: But he recognized depression in me because his wife battled it.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm so grateful that he had the ability to alert me to that.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: And years later I met him and said, and he said, how are you doing?
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: And I said, it's still a struggle.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_00: So under the heading of depression comes all of these things which I've had, hypochondria.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: If I read about a disease, I had it.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, one day, and this is how it goes, I called the psychiatrist I was seeing.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_00: I called his home because I read that if you took a certain antidepressant and went out in the sun, you could get covered with green spots.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, my goodness.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_00: Ludicrous, right?
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: But I believe that was possible.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: So that's how intense things get.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: I suffer from frightening thoughts.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: that I would hurt somebody, that I would harm somebody, that I would scream and start shouting and yelling and cursing in church.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: That was horrible.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: I had deep, deep, deep sadness.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: Times where I just took to my bed and nothing and no one could get me out of there.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: Sleeping pills to help me sleep.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: My husband tried the best he could to comfort me.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: So
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_01: go on, Meg, and continue with your story about what happened with your life journey.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: Well, as a young mom, it was very, very difficult to get through the awful fear, the awful days, the awful nights, to get through the day.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: I certainly thought about how on earth I would ever be able to do this.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm really sad to say that I was a mom who worried, screamed, yelled, withdrew.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: It's just a terrible thing to be that because Most of us want to be really, really good moms.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: We don't want to fail at that.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_01: That's true.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_01: We have such an idea of what motherhood should be, and we so deep in our hearts want to do that for our children and be that for our children.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_01: But, you know, sometimes life just happens, and we don't understand why, right?
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: Well, as people know, mental illness can't be seen on the outside.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: So had I been...
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_00: With a broken leg or broken back.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: I had a broken mind.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: But people can't see that.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: And I am so pleased to think that Prince Harry opened the door on depression and mourning and grief.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: I think he has just set the world on fire with that proclamation.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: I
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_01: would agree.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: He's such a positive person.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_00: role example, and that is wonderful.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: Agoraphobia is what is plaguing me these days.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes I can't go for a walk by myself.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes I can't get to the grocery store or the drugstore.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_00: Those are my two main phobia, fear things, and it's maddening and frustrating.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: And if I really, really need groceries, the tension just heightens.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a widow now, and my children are growing and off, so at least I don't have to provide food for a family.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_00: But often my fridge goes empty.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_00: I can get a friend to go with me and if that friend, I did have a wonderful friend, still have her, but at that point I explained this story to her and she came in the store with me.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_00: She shopped around, not with me, but I could see her over in the other aisles and she'd stay there for about Well, at the beginning, she stayed there the whole time.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_00: We took our buggies out at the same time to put the groceries in the car.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_00: But after a while, she just came in the door, shopped for two or three things.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_00: I was okay, and then she left.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_00: And then she started sitting in the parking lot for a few minutes, letting me get in the store, get the cart, and I did it.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_00: Friends are wonderful.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm beyond covering up, telling stories.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_00: I simply say I have anxiety and depression.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_00: Will you help me?
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_01: That's fantastic.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_00: That's a huge, huge, huge step for those of you.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_00: who suffer from it, right?
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, absolutely.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_01: And, you know, it's so difficult for those of us of a different generation to actually speak out and ask for help.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_01: But, you know, there is nothing wrong with doing that because there's always someone there that is willing to give and to help.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_01: That's right.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_01: So happy for you that you
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_00: spoke.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I used to cover up.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_00: and make excuses as to why I couldn't go.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes I'd be showered, hair combed, makeup on, dressed, and be sobbing on the telephone to my friends saying, I can't get there, I can't come, I can't do it.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: And it was hard for them because they didn't know what was the matter with me.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_00: But that's under the heading of depression, and it's so fear-based depression.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_01: So were they panic attacks that you had, Meg?
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, panic attacks.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, man.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: They were paralyzing.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_00: Heart thumping, can't swallow, terrified, can't move your legs, can't walk.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_00: You're just paralyzed is the word.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_00: But I had a book that was...
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_00: It was my guidebook.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_00: It was called Hope and Help for Your Nerves.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_00: And it's kind of tattered now.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_00: And it was by a doctor.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want to say the last name.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_00: And it was published a long time ago.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_00: But it talked about all of those things.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_00: Nowadays, people, you have the Internet with so much information, so much reinforcement.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_00: Last year I started doing meditations online.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_00: Someone told me about the name Louise Hay,
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_02: and
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_00: she just passed away at, I think she was 100, and she had been traumatized terribly as a child, but she wanted to help other people.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_00: So that was the start of the meditation, lying on my bed, listening to this voice, calm me down, telling me to breathe, and it's working.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_01: Fantastic.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_01: So
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_00: if you have a panic attack, remember to keep breathing because as the panic attack is reaching its height, apparently, that is as bad as it's going to get.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_00: And so if you think, okay, I don't like this, it's happening, but I can stand it, and you keep breathing, it will pass.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_00: Very true.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_00: It has to pass when the breathing starts.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_01: Do you feel that, and I've known this from myself with post-traumatic stress, that when an event triggers you, we always tend to inhale, like take that really sharp, deep, panicked breath in?
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_00: That gasp.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, but if we actually focus on exhaling first...
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_01: then you don't get that tension in your body.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_01: Do you find
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_00: that as well?
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yes.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_00: And you see, I didn't have any tools.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_00: I was like a gardener who didn't have a hole, who didn't have any pots, who didn't have any plants, seeds in those days.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_00: But now there is so much help available.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_00: And when I tell people that I have anxiety and depression and phobias, They say, you know, I think my uncle had that.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_00: And I have a sister who can't get to the store.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_00: And actually, I have depression.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_00: It's amazing.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_00: And it's out in the open.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_00: When it's not a secret anymore and you're not hiding, pretending to be a false self, what happens?
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_00: What can they do to you?
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_01: Well, right.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_01: And, you know, years ago people used to see speaking out as a sign of weakness, that there was something wrong with you.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_01: But now I think that stigma has turned around, and I think it's a sign of strength and courage that you're willing to just bury your soul and to say what's happening to you.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_00: Because for years I couldn't.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_00: I just couldn't.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_00: I was embarrassed.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_00: I was...
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_00: Totally embarrassed.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_00: And, yes, I felt weak.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_00: I felt weak.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_00: I couldn't keep up to the other moms in the neighborhood.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_00: I couldn't go on a school trip.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I didn't know what I could do, and I still don't.
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes I just can't do it, and I have to say, okay, for today, that's what's happening.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_00: I'll have a better day.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_01: So one step at a time, really, is what's very key.
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_00: Like so much of life.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_01: So how did your family react to what was happening in your life?
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I really know that I affected my children in an awful way.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_00: And I think had my husband had the tools, had I had the knowledge and the tools, we could have sat the kids down and said, you know, Mommy has this problem.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_00: thing called depression and it makes her kind of sad it makes her kind of cry sometimes sometimes she just loses her temper and yells but it'll pass she's not going to die she's still mom and we'll just help her along but that didn't happen I just withdrew none of us again we didn't have the tools so psychiatric help Medications, which I probably will be on as if I was a diabetic.
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_00: I have pills, and I don't want to mention anything, that I take when the anxiety keeps me away from functions.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I have to get groceries, so I take a pill to go to the grocery store or to go to a party or to, you know.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_00: And one crazy thing about depression is it's hard to get in a shower.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_00: Now, if anybody has an answer to that, I don't know still, but I don't like to have to have a shower.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_01: That's interesting.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_01: Is it the confined space, do you think?
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_01: I don't
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_00: know.
• 17:57
  SPEAKER_00: I haven't a clue what it is.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_01: So what happens when this happens to you when you go to take a shower?
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_01: What happens in your body?
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_00: I can't explain it.
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_00: I have a friend who has suffered depression, and we laugh about it now because it's odd, but it takes a lot of effort to get your clothes off.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_00: Get in the shower.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_00: I really don't know, Teresa, what it is.
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_00: If anybody has the answer, I'd love to hear it.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_02: But
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_00: I did have a shower today, everybody.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_01: Sorry, I missed that, Meg.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_01: You cut out there
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_00: for a second.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_00: But I did have a shower today.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_00: Oh,
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_01: that's wonderful.
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_01: That's fantastic.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_01: Well, you achieved that success today, then.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_01: That's fabulous.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_00: Today's been a good day.
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_00: That's wonderful.
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_00: Today's been a very good day, and...
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_00: tomorrow.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_00: I remember my mom had a scrap of paper and it was stabbed through into the wood on the medicine cabinet.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_00: You saw it every time you brushed your teeth or washed your face.
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_00: And it was stabbed into the wood with a hat pin with a big round black dome on it.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_00: And it wasn't my mother's writing.
• 19:25
  SPEAKER_00: Somebody gave it to her.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_00: But what it said is that Today is the tomorrow we worried about yesterday, and all is well.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, that's fantastic.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_01: I think, would you send that to me in an email?
• 19:44
  SPEAKER_01: And then I would like to share that on the website for our listeners.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_01: I think that's very powerful.
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_01: And there's so much to be said for affirmations and mantras and all that aspect, isn't there?
• 19:59
  SPEAKER_01: It's kind of like talking, self-talk, talking to yourself.
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_00: And once again, those are tools.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_00: Those are tools.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_00: And Louise Hay would say, look in the mirror and say, I am beautiful.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_00: I am beautiful.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_00: Well, that's ridiculous.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, that's a hard thing to do, isn't it?
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_00: It can be.
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_00: But now it's easy.
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_00: And I just, you know, I can do this.
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_00: I am a woman.
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_00: I am strong.
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_00: Hear me roar.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_00: That kind of self-talk.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_01: That's fantastic.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_01: That's fantastic.
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_01: That's wonderful.
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_01: So, Meg, tell us why you are so passionate about breaking your silence now at this point in your life.
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_01: What's the driving
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_00: force?
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_00: My daughter suffered from depression.
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_00: She thinks it went back to about five years old.
• 20:57
  SPEAKER_00: Her dad, my husband, had a heart attack about...
• 21:01
  SPEAKER_00: The children were 4 and 7 and 10, and he was 35.
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_00: That was a traumatic event in our lives.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_00: And Sarah can remember feeling sad.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_00: She talked about a pit, a pit in her tummy.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_00: So that went on.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_00: She had to be hospitalized at the Homewood.
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_00: Then she called me one day.
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_00: She lived in Toronto.
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_00: She had her Master's of Social Work.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_00: She had suffered chronic fatigue in high school, but she called me and said, Mom, can you come?
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_00: And she was getting, I think, top care in Mount Sinai Hospital.
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_00: And that's really tough, really tough to go through that.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_00: And she kept saying she didn't want to live.
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_00: So we had...
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: We had a warning.
• 22:01
  SPEAKER_00: We were pretty sure it was going to happen, and she took her life.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, my
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_00: goodness.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_00: She was 37 years old, as I say, all that studying for her master's.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_00: And she said one day in the hospital, she said, Mom, talk about depression.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_00: Talk about depression.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_00: So, Sarah, this is for you and me and millions of other people who have suffered depression.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_00: with this disease or illness or generation curse, whatever you want to call it.
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_01: And that's a beautiful tribute to your daughter.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_01: That's incredible.
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm sure she is watching down on you and smiling at this moment.
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_00: I think so.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_00: I know so.
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_01: Now, you mentioned when I met you that there was something significant that you found in your house that Oh,
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_00: the night that I gave the speech.
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_00: After my husband passed away, I started to find hearts.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_00: The first one I found was in my little side garden in the cottage that we had just bought three months before Wayne died.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_00: And it was a small rock, but it was definitely a heart.
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_00: And since then, I have had hearts galore.
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_00: And so I know Wayne is with me.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_00: One day, it was Valentine's Day.
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_00: I can't make these stories up, and I was frying up hamburgs for myself.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I flipped them and flipped them and flipped them brown and salted and peppered and did all that.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I looked down, and there was a perfectly shaped rock.
• 23:45
  SPEAKER_00: heart made of Hamburg.
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, that's incredible.
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_00: On Valentine's Day.
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_01: That's a message if I ever heard one.
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_00: So all kinds of hearts, you know, paving, new pavement.
• 24:01
  SPEAKER_00: When my girlfriend was dying of cancer, she oh a piece of cake four or five layer cake and I ate it my friend went out of the room to get something to show me she came back in I gasped and there was the perfect miniature heart of leftover cake like somebody had perfectly carved it and I said see I told you Wayne leaves me hearts
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_02: that's beautiful
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_00: Sarah I don't seem to get much from her And so I was giving this first talk about depression, and I bought a plant for my balcony, and I knew that I had one of those coaster things that you put plants on and you can roll it around underneath the chair in my living room.
• 24:56
  SPEAKER_00: So the afternoon before I gave this speech, I reached in and something was under there, but it wasn't that plant thing.
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_00: And I pulled out, and it was a rectangular plate that Sarah had in her apartment.
• 25:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I pulled it out, and I thought, Sarah, you're talking to me.
• 25:15
  SPEAKER_00: And it was like, wink, wink, Mom, I know what you're up to.
• 25:20
  SPEAKER_01: That's fantastic.
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, my goodness.
• 25:23
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I definitely believe in divine intervention, and I think your daughter and your husband are going to be with you always in so many ways.
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_00: And my faith in God has carried me through.
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_00: That has been a very strong determining factor
• 25:42
  SPEAKER_01: in this battle.
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's very key that we have a faith or a belief or just...
• 25:49
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, absolutely.
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_01: And to each person that's represented totally different, isn't it?
• 25:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I understand that.
• 25:57
  SPEAKER_00: But for me, it's God.
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_00: And it works for me.
• 26:04
  SPEAKER_01: That's great.
• 26:04
  SPEAKER_01: So what have you learned throughout this journey, Meg?
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_01: What are the key things that you would say are really valuable tools for you and for anyone listening that can help with depression?
• 26:19
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, dear.
• 26:19
  SPEAKER_00: I think I've talked about them.
• 26:25
  SPEAKER_00: You know, last year, the meditation, that was a new tool that I used.
• 26:29
  SPEAKER_00: I'd heard about meditation, but that was sort of John Lennon and the Beatles and that kind of thing.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_00: But when I tried it, it really, really worked.
• 26:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I can really be relieved of a lot of stress by doing my meditation.
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes I can fall asleep.
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm still learning new things.
• 26:56
  SPEAKER_01: So did you have luck with
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_00: the first one?
• 26:59
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not cured.
• 27:00
  SPEAKER_01: Did you have luck with the first meditation that you tried?
• 27:05
  SPEAKER_00: Well, no, I didn't.
• 27:09
  SPEAKER_00: My mind kept wandering.
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_00: I could hear Louise Hay's voice, but then I was thinking about what to get for dinner, and maybe I should get a new blouse, and whatever.
• 27:25
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe I go have a glass of wine with a friend.
• 27:28
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, oh, she's still talking.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 27:31
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, okay, yeah.
• 27:33
  SPEAKER_00: And then maybe I should get the car cleaned.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_00: It takes a while, so you can't do it twice and say, nope, didn't work for me.
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 27:43
  SPEAKER_01: You've
• 27:43
  SPEAKER_00: got to keep your mind open.
• 27:44
  SPEAKER_00: You've got to try these things.
• 27:46
  SPEAKER_00: Not everything that you try will work, but it did with me, and this is my story.
• 27:52
  SPEAKER_00: That's why I'm telling you.
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 27:55
  SPEAKER_01: That's perfect.
• 27:56
  SPEAKER_01: And, you know, anything that's worthwhile does take practice, and, you know, you have to keep trying because it's so worth it, isn't it?
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, and I've learned to be gentler with myself.
• 28:10
  SPEAKER_00: I have been told that I'm pretty hard on myself.
• 28:14
  SPEAKER_00: I expect a lot of me, and that's not always possible.
• 28:21
  SPEAKER_00: So I've tried to be a little less, I've tried to, well, I've been humbled.
• 28:32
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know how to explain it.
• 28:33
  SPEAKER_00: I've just tried to lessen my, lower my standards.
• 28:38
  SPEAKER_00: Well,
• 28:39
  SPEAKER_01: yeah.
• 28:40
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, a lot of...
• 28:41
  SPEAKER_00: I don't expect so much of myself.
• 28:43
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 28:43
  SPEAKER_01: Self-care is so key when you're dealing with a life of depression or anxiety or agoraphobia, you know, or anything.
• 28:53
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, self-care is so key.
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_00: It really is.
• 28:58
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't like to fuss with myself or, you know, but...
• 29:03
  SPEAKER_00: I'm trying to be gentle with me.
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_01: Now, do you do anything, any yoga or exercise or any activity that keeps your mind occupied and active?
• 29:15
  SPEAKER_00: That really helped.
• 29:17
  SPEAKER_00: That really, really helped.
• 29:19
  SPEAKER_00: I did aerobics for years and years and years.
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_00: But that has fallen off, and that is truly what is lacking in my life.
• 29:29
  SPEAKER_00: I...
• 29:30
  SPEAKER_00: Don't exercise.
• 29:31
  SPEAKER_00: I don't walk.
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_00: I don't do it.
• 29:33
  SPEAKER_00: And I've got to really get out there and do it.
• 29:37
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 29:38
  SPEAKER_01: I think I'll hold you to that one.
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 29:41
  SPEAKER_01: I'm going to hold you accountable.
• 29:44
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 29:44
  SPEAKER_01: All right.
• 29:45
  SPEAKER_01: Is there anything, Meg, that you would like to leave our listeners with?
• 29:49
  SPEAKER_01: Just one statement or what would you like to say?
• 29:55
  SPEAKER_00: Don't
• 29:56
  SPEAKER_01: give
• 29:57
  SPEAKER_00: up.
• 30:00
  SPEAKER_01: That's fantastic.
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_01: Why do you feel that's so key?
• 30:06
  SPEAKER_00: Because depression can drain you of all hope.
• 30:13
  SPEAKER_00: And without that hope, without that trying to survive, death can come, as it did in my family.
• 30:28
  SPEAKER_00: And we just have to remain hopeful.
• 30:34
  SPEAKER_01: Take
• 30:34
  SPEAKER_00: your medication.
• 30:35
  SPEAKER_00: Take your medication.
• 30:37
  SPEAKER_00: If you need it, take it.
• 30:38
  SPEAKER_00: Don't say, oh, I'm just going to go off for a few days.
• 30:41
  SPEAKER_00: The doctor says take your medication, take your medication.
• 30:45
  SPEAKER_00: Do what you're told.
• 30:46
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 30:48
  SPEAKER_00: You know, do what you're told and go with your gut instincts and like everything in life.
• 30:55
  SPEAKER_00: And be gentle.
• 30:57
  SPEAKER_02: and
• 30:58
  SPEAKER_00: peaceful to everybody today, especially yourself.
• 31:02
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 31:03
  SPEAKER_01: So, Meg, what's the future hold for you as it stands right now?
• 31:09
  SPEAKER_00: I have no idea, Teresa.
• 31:11
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, that's exciting.
• 31:13
  SPEAKER_00: I have no idea.
• 31:14
  SPEAKER_01: I'm
• 31:15
  SPEAKER_00: sure I'll become a famous movie star any day now.
• 31:18
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, well, just remember the rest of us when you get there, right?
• 31:21
  SPEAKER_01: I
• 31:22
  SPEAKER_00: won't forget the little people.
• 31:24
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
• 31:26
  SPEAKER_01: Meg, I so want to thank you for sharing your story today.
• 31:31
  SPEAKER_01: I think you are on the right path, and, you know, all it does take is one action of reaching out and saying, please, I need help, or sharing like you're doing, sharing your story and saying, you know what, it's okay.
• 31:48
  SPEAKER_01: We all have something, don't we?
• 31:50
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, that's very true, and I think people who struggle with a mental illness are the most courageous people ever put on the earth.
• 31:58
  SPEAKER_01: I would agree.
• 31:59
  SPEAKER_01: I would very much agree with that.
• 32:01
  SPEAKER_01: So anyway, divas.
• 32:04
  SPEAKER_01: It's been a pleasure.
• 32:05
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, thank you, Meg.
• 32:06
  SPEAKER_01: I'm so glad that we got to do this finally, and I would like to touch base with you again in another interview if you're willing to do that.
• 32:15
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 32:16
  SPEAKER_00: I'm going to say it again.
• 32:17
  SPEAKER_00: Don't give up.
• 32:22
  SPEAKER_01: Perfect.
• 32:23
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
• 32:23
  SPEAKER_01: And we will include that with all the information on the Divas That Care website.
• 32:29
  SPEAKER_01: So Meg, thank you so much for being a guest.
• 32:32
  SPEAKER_01: And Divas, that brings to a close another great, inspiring interview on Powering Through Life.
• 32:39
  SPEAKER_01: Today my guest was the incredible Meg Holmes, whose journey has just been outstanding.
• 32:45
  SPEAKER_01: And Divas, if you would like to connect with Meg, I would ask that you...
• 32:51
  SPEAKER_01: Contact me by email, and I will put you in touch with Meg and get all of your requests for further information or to reach out to chat with her.
• 33:02
  SPEAKER_01: We'll do it through my email address so that Meg can just remain protected.
• 33:10
  SPEAKER_01: So thank you again, and I look forward to sharing another great interview with you on DivasThatCare.com, and I will talk to you again soon.