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EP 49 Discovering Joy - Staci McKee · iRefresh Podcast

• 0:05
  After a decade of gathering women together for prayer, we are inspired to bring our words of encouragement to you. This is iRefresh. Welcome to iRefresh, where we are empowering ordinary women to do extraordinary things through the power of prayer and God's Word.
• 0:23
  And make no mistake, you have three ordinary women sitting here today, but we have all served an extraordinary God who does extraordinary things through us. And what I love is what brings us together is, A, we're sisters in the Lord, but we've also, we're women who love our children and our husbands. And we're also women who have sometimes taken roundabout ways in our lives, but are after the same goal of serving the Lord. So I am Carrie Kittinger.
• 0:51
  This is Patty Gerstenberger, and we have with us our new friend, Stacey McKee, and what a pleasure to have you here today. Thank you. And so we want to get to know you better today and your testimony and just hear what the Lord has done and is doing in your life. So fill us in a little bit, Stacey, with where you're at today.
• 1:13
  Well, I have been on a very long journey of finding who Jesus is to me and who I am to him. I am at a really good place in my life where I am learning to love God's word. I am learning who he is for me. I am learning how much he loves me.
• 1:34
  It took me a long time to get there, probably 46 years. But I am so thankful for the journey that I'm on. I wouldn't change a thing. All of the mistakes that I made in my life led me to the point that I am at now. And so I wouldn't change any of the mistakes that I made.
• 1:51
  But I am so thankful to finally be in a place where I understand that it's not about me, but it's about Jesus in me. Amen. So I'm thankful for this opportunity just to share about God's goodness and his love and his mercy and his grace that's available.
• 2:05
  to each and every one of us, no matter how many mistakes we make. That is so true. I love how the fact that you even acknowledge that, you know, none of my bad mistakes or bad choices define me. There's only one person who defines me. And you also mentioned that we're on a journey for us to know and just be encouraged that it's a process. It's a daily surrender. And even their journey of finding the Lord.
• 2:31
  over and over again, it continues to be a beautiful testimony of all that he has done in you and really in us. Amen. Amen. What was a turning point for you or what was maybe an area along your journey that you decided this is not working anymore and I need to take a different path? What was one of the turning points for you, Stacey?
• 2:53
  I would say, I mean it took, I was pretty hard headed. So it took a really long time for me to finally get to the place where I was willing to give up what I thought was right and what I thought was best and realize that there was a better way. So it was just about six years ago
• 3:10
  where I had come to a place in my life where I had turned completely away from the Lord. And I was seeking relationships and friendships with people that did not know the Lord, that did not love the Lord. And they led me down a path that I never should have gone down, but I did.
• 3:31
  My marriage was on the brink of divorce and it was only through God's grace that I found a Christ-centered recovery program that I joined and it was while I was doing my first 12-step that I finally realized
• 3:48
  that God wasn't just looking down from heaven and looking for everything wrong that I was doing in my life, that he loved me even when I was in the midst of all the mess that I was in, because his love doesn't depend on me, his love depends on the Jesus in me. And so when I first started to realize that it really had nothing to do with me and it had everything to do with him, I was able to stop focusing on all my mess and start focusing on Jesus. And when I finally did that,
• 4:18
  I was able to turn around and realize that this prison that I thought that I was in was really just a lie.
• 4:26
  because when Jesus Christ came and He died on the cross, He busted the doors off the hinges of the sin in my life. And all I was focused on was my sin. And so I felt stuck and I felt like I was shackled. And it was a lie because Jesus broke the shackles when He died on the cross. But I didn't know that. I didn't know that Jesus, that wasn't the Jesus that I grew up with.
• 4:50
  And so, you know, even though I had been a Christian for years and years, I didn't have relationship with Jesus. And so when I began to, you know, understand who he was and how much he loved me.
• 5:05
  I began to realize the lie that I had been living and that it wasn't too late to pick up the pieces of my life and to move forward in the truth of who Jesus is for me. Wow, that's powerful. Even the difference, what I'm hearing you say is just the difference of knowing a God who is only about rules.
• 5:24
  yeah and really um not just knowing god but also allowing him to know you oh absolutely yes there's such a difference between you know knowing who god is and then really knowing god you know because i grew up going to church i was even a preacher's daughter you know for years and i certainly knew who god was and um
• 5:48
  I read my Bible and I said my prayers, but it just, it wasn't reaching my heart because I didn't really understand who God was for me. Religion to me was saying, you need to do this, you need to do that, you need to follow these rules.
• 6:04
  And really what Jesus said when he died on the cross was, it is finished. And those three words really changed my life. You know, and I'm still trying to understand and coming to an understanding of what those words mean in my life, that it is finished, that Jesus has paid the price. And I was free to let go of all of my stuff. And I was free to start living in,
• 6:29
  just the plans that he had for me in my life. And it's just been, I'm not even the same person that I was six years ago. I didn't think that this person that you see today even existed. I didn't know that it was possible because I'd built up such thick walls. You know, and I didn't think it was possible for anybody to break through. But when I finally decided that it was time, that I wasn't getting anywhere on my own and on my own choices and my own decisions,
• 6:56
  And I decided to let Jesus have his way with me. You know, he began to sneak in those cracks and those crevices of my heart. And those walls began to break. And now for the first time in my life, I have a relationship with,
• 7:11
  with the Lord that has completely changed who I am, it's changed my family, it's changed my marriage, it's changed everything about me. That's beautiful. I've heard it said that one of the longest journeys is from the head to the heart. Yes. And so we can have all this head knowledge, right? And we can think, oh, I know it all.
• 7:30
  I've done it all. But if it doesn't connect with our hearts, then it really is just a list of rules. It's just religion. And Jesus, man, on that cross, exactly what you said when he said, it is finished, the veil of religion was torn.
• 7:46
  right? And so that veil was torn so that we could draw close to him in confidence. But I think the enemy knows he's always wanting us to think that veil is still there, right? But that's just a facade. That's a lie, like you said. And so just to remember those words, it is finished. And that at that moment was when that veil was torn. And we didn't have to earn it. We didn't have to do anything.
• 8:13
  Very powerful. Yes. So practically, what did you do? You mentioned a 12 step process. But for those of us who are continuing, wanting to find healing or the practical steps of how do I walk through, you said coming to even that saving knowledge of knowing God. What are some other practical steps?
• 8:35
  that you did to walk out in your journey, just the freedom? Amen. All right, that's a good question. I would say there's probably... She's always got good questions. You stick with that. I'm interested. You stick with that. You take notes. There's probably three areas that I would say has impacted my life the most. And the first one would be reading my Bible. So I grew up, you know,
• 8:58
  being basically forced to read my Bible because it's what you have to do, you know. And so I would read my Bible every day, but I was doing it because that's what I was supposed to do. And I was basically just checking a box. Right. You know, it never meant anything to me. You know, she's looking at me.
• 9:14
  But it's true. Did you read your Bible? That's different than what did you get out of your Bible this morning? Exactly. That's a different question. So, no, I'm definitely taking it. Yeah, I was checking a box. So good. So just about five years ago, I started reading my Bible every day.
• 9:30
  And His Word started to come to life for me because, you know, that comes along with the relationship. With the relationship becomes a new, renewed understanding. And so the words on the page would just jump out at me. And so the Bible has become one of the most important things in my life. And then secondly, it would be prayer. Amen. Because before I came...
• 9:57
  to Christ about five years ago when I renewed my life and rededicated my life to Jesus, I actually hadn't prayed in years. And with my head... Hang on, like praying, just I'm very practical. So when you're saying prayer, praying to God or is it praying with a friend or having people pray for you? When you say pray, what does that mean to you? I'm talking about me, myself, having conversations with God.
• 10:24
  And in my head, I knew that Jesus knew all of the stuff that I had done and all of the bad decisions that I had made. And for some reason, I couldn't allow myself to have a conversation with him because that would be admitting to myself all of the poor choices. When I was doing all of those things that I was doing, I knew that I was doing wrong, but I just didn't care. And so it took a long time, even after I started coming to Celebrate Recovery and I was in the 12 step before I
• 10:53
  would admit that, okay, I need to start having a conversation with God. You know, and as he began to work on my heart and those walls began to break, and I began to fully, you know, more understand that Jesus loves me,
• 11:08
  that's when I was able to say, okay, it's time to have a conversation with God because He's not going to condemn me. Right. He's going to love me right where I'm at. And the realization that He loved me just as much when I was doing horrible, awful things as He does when I'm on my knees bow before Him in prayer. That was life-changing to me. That's beautiful. And so, prayer is another thing that has absolutely changed my life. And me and the Holy Spirit, we just talk all day long.
• 11:38
  I absolutely love the wisdom that he enjoys pouring into my life and that was always right there and available to me, but I was choosing to ignore it. That's good. And the third thing that has completely changed my life is surrounding myself with strong Christian women that have had a similar path, you know, made mistakes and done things that,
• 12:04
  maybe they're not proud of, but have overcome in those areas and surrounding myself with those women that are going to point me to God and they're going to point me to His Word and point me to the truth of who He is and who I am in Him. And that has completely changed my walk. I'm very particular about the women that I allow in my close circle.
• 12:27
  And I guard myself against allowing people in that are not going to point me to the truth of God's word and who he is to me. That's a great word right there. Amen. Well, and one of the things I'm thinking about is, you know, it's simple, right? The Lord doesn't make his word hard. He doesn't make the way hard. It's the enemy that wants us. Simple, not easy.
• 12:47
  Right, exactly. And let me, thank you, it's so true. But, and because I think sometimes we overcomplicate things because we think that's too simple, that can't be it. So for instance, if you wanna lose weight,
• 13:02
  you eat less and exercise more. Right. But how many diet books are out there with all these, you know, ideas and difficult things, stand on your head and do this and only eat a thimful, you know, thumbful of this. But it's kind of that same way with the Lord, right? When he just wants relationship with us, he's like, just come to me. That's right. Just come to me. Just commune with me, pray with me. And so again, you're right. Easy, simple, but not easy, right?
• 13:30
  But it's still, I think we overcomplicate things. And so what I see has happened with you is you've realized it's gone to your heart. And you've realized, I don't have to work it all in my head. I don't have to earn this. I don't have to be the most disciplined person in the world. And if I'm not, the Lord's not there. But what you've said is, I'm going to say and agree with you, Lord, that your yoke is easy and your burden is light.
• 13:53
  And I think I can see that on you. I can see a lightness and a joy about you. And so my question is, how has your family responded? Oh, wow. The change in my family has been just tremendous. I'm, you know, sad to say that when I started this journey at Celebrate Recovery, you know, my family was in such a
• 14:16
  bad place and my kids were in high school and you know obviously they could tell that there was some tension between their mom and their dad
• 14:24
  And I was just not in a good place. I could not give them the love that they needed, my husband or my children. I couldn't receive from them the love that I needed because I just had so many walls built up in my life. And so the relationship that I am now able to have with my husband and with my children has been a relationship that I've never had. You know, so it has completely changed everything about me. And now my daughter, she just gave birth to a son two weeks ago.
• 14:54
  Congratulations. And remind me, what are you going to be called? I'm Glamaw. Glamaw. Is that not the key? I love that. And those of you listening on podcasts don't get to see this Glamaw, but she is a Glamaw. She's beautiful. Thank you. Thank you. But I'm just so thankful each and every day that I'm going to get to have a relationship with my grandson. And there was a point in my life where I would have willingly walked away from that because...
• 15:21
  I was believing a lie. And so the fact that I get to be the kind of grandmother that's gonna pray over her grandkids, you know, and speak life into them,
• 15:32
  is just miraculous and I'm so thankful. I'm so thankful for that. And we're thankful with you. We're rejoicing with you. That is absolutely beautiful. Such an encouragement. Even when you said that when we build up walls, it's not that we can't give, we also can't receive. That's right. So the wall is very isolating. Yes, it is.
• 15:52
  And it really destroys relationships. Yes, absolutely. So what I love seeing in you, Stacey, is your humility. That you haven't done this on your own, that you've sought help. Oh, absolutely. Celebrate Recovery is an amazing program. It sure is. And what a pillar of strength you are for your family. Thank you. To think even where you were seven years ago,
• 16:15
  and where you are now, now you're able to encourage so many other women. Yes, yes. Well, it's my honor and it's my privilege, you know, to be able to help women that may be in the shoes that I was wearing seven years ago.
• 16:32
  Because I feel like even though I wouldn't trade those mistakes. I you know I feel like they were wasted years if I'd have only known then what I knew now You know how much difference could I have made so if someone were to ask you I'm right where you were seven years ago Yeah, and even if you put yourself seven years ago, what would what would you want to hear? I?
• 16:55
  I would want to tell them that Jesus loves you right where you are at. And there's not one thing that you can say or do that's going to make him love you any less. Because it's not about us, it's about Jesus in us. And when we become a Christian, all of heaven is attracted to the Jesus in us. It's not about us. The enemy wants us to think that it's about us. And he wants us to focus on us and our behavior.
• 17:22
  And it's never been about that. It's always about Jesus and what he did for us. Amen. So it's never too late to start afresh. God's mercy and his grace is new every single morning. So if you've made a mistake today, that's okay.
• 17:38
  His mercy is new the next minute, the next hour. We don't have to squeeze out God's mercy and grace from two weeks ago. No, we wake up every single morning and it's brand new. And we receive the fullness of God every single day. So it's never too late. No, that's good. So what happens if I have made a mistake this morning? What would you tell me? If you've made a mistake this morning? What would you tell somebody? I would say...
• 18:02
  You know, to me, when I make a mistake, it's an opportunity to learn. So I'm learning that God loves me. He doesn't want to condemn me when I make a mistake. I'm still a human being. I'm going to make mistakes every single day. And God recognizes that. She doesn't, but you know.
• 18:17
  I mean, it's just good to be reminded. I loved what you even said about when we make a mistake that the enemy really wants us to focus only on shaming myself and how bad I am and I should have known better. I should not have, and it's usually with my mouth, I should not have said something. But for me to even come to God and confess that,
• 18:38
  and just be real and just allow him to speak to me instead of me continuing to talk about everything that I've done wrong. Because like you said, I'm making it about me, not about what God is doing. So I love your encouragement, even in my mistake, to find God in that. That's right. Well, and what we feed grows. And so when we focus on our mistakes, then that's going to be the path that we are
• 19:04
  Turning down, you know instead of focusing on who God is for us in that moment when I make a mistake That's just an opportunity for the Holy Spirit to tap me on the shoulder and say Stacy guess what if you would have reacted this way That's an opportunity for you to become more like Christ in this area. And I can say thank you Lord and
• 19:22
  Thank you for another tool in my tool belt. Every time I react this way, instead of this way, now I'm gonna become more like the Father. So it's almost, it's exciting. You know, it all depends on the way you look at things. And it's an opportunity for me to respond in a different manner.
• 19:39
  to my family or friends when, you know, if something, you know, if you say something that my feelings are hurt for me to respond differently. And not to make it all about how I feel, but really, okay, God, where are you in this? And how would you have responded? Or how can I ask for forgiveness and tell you I'm sorry?
• 19:57
  that it becomes more about him even in my mistakes right and i think that's what makes you so even more beautiful is even out of your brokenness there's still joy and there's still an overwhelming sense of the father's love and what a gift to all of us around you just to even hear your testimony yes yes when i heard you say that
• 20:20
  About three years ago, me and a couple of my girlfriends decided that as we were reading through the Bible, many times God would give a different name to somebody when they had gone through something in their life. Like Saul, Paul. Yes, you're not Paul, right. And so we decided to pray and say, God, you know, what is your nickname for me? And so I started praying, you know, and I'm thinking... It wasn't Glamour? It wasn't Glamour!
• 20:44
  I kind of wanted something that sounded kind of tough and you know like She-Ra. Oh that's hilarious! Okay Lauren, what do you call me? And I'll never forget just plain as day he said, I call you joyful one. Oh that's beautiful. That's beautiful Stacy. And that's not the word that I would have chosen for myself.
• 21:09
  but that's it that's how I see you and about three weeks later when I was telling somebody about it I realized that my middle name is Joe
• 21:22
  which stands for joyful one. And I even had it tattooed on my arm. And I asked my friends to refer to me that way because I want to be reminded at all times that that's how God sees me. And that verse that the joy of the Lord is my strength is another one of those things that has changed my life because there's nothing about God that's not good.
• 21:44
  There's nothing about God that doesn't bring joy. And so the closer I draw to him, the more joyful I become. And so if I can share that with others, then I'm blessed to do so.
• 21:57
  Stacey, I'm reminded of the story of David and how in Psalm 51, when he had come to his senses and he had to repent before the Lord, it said, he said, Lord, let restore to me the joy of my salvation. And I see that's what's happened to you because I know that you had a saving salvation moment in your younger years, but what's happened now is the joy of your salvation has been restored. And once you get a glimpse of the joy of something, I mean, we don't,
• 22:26
  We don't want to go back. We don't want to go back. And so that is such a beautiful word for you, joyful one. I love that. Now we know what to call you. Yes. You can call me Joe. Glamaw Joe, joyful one. Amen, amen. Well, what a pleasure it's been to have you here today. And I look forward to just even, I would love to be sitting here five years from now and the three of us, hopefully we're glamaws too.
• 22:53
  No pressure. But I'm just, that's what I love about the Lord is that, like you said, his mercies are new every morning. Amen. His faithfulness is always there. And so we could be sitting here five years from now and rejoicing over something new that we have overcome or one of our loved ones has overcome because he never gives up on us. That's right. That's right. And my journey is just beginning. I mean, I feel like I'm a, even though I've been a Christian for years, I'm a Christian.
• 23:17
  I really feel like I am a baby in Christ. I just feel like this last five years, you know, I'm starting over from scratch. And so I have so much more to learn. And it's just so exciting. Well, you're in good hands because Jesus even says that you've got to become like a little child. Yes. Right. To enter the kingdom and for us to have that childlike faith. So really, I mean, we have eternity.
• 23:41
  to grow and to commune with the Lord. And so I think you've been saying that you've got this child likeness and that's where that joy is coming from. It's like saying, I don't have it all figured out. And you know what? I bet someone who's 99 years old on their deathbed doesn't have it all figured out either. We are on this journey. And until we see Jesus face to face, some of this stuff is gonna be just like, I'm learning, I'm growing. I'm learning new things each and every day. And I'm trusting in the saving grace of Jesus.
• 24:09
  What better place to be? What better place to be? That's right. Amen. Amen. That's amazing. One of the things that I loved hearing is that you read the Word. And you not just read the Word, but I also understand that you're a doer of the Word. Absolutely. That's where the power comes in. Yeah. So tell me how you're doing that.
• 24:29
  Well, when I first started reading, I had to take it in very small portions. This was not, you know, I didn't want to set myself up for failure, so I didn't decide to read through God's Word in a week. You know, I would do a few verses at a time. And me and a few of my girlfriends started an accountability texting thread. Okay.
• 24:46
  And we would text each other every single morning that yes, we had read the Word and this is what I got out of it. And we did that for probably about five years. And were you reading the same thing or you're all just reading your different things? We all happened to be reading the same plan. We were doing the Bible in a year. So we would read Old Testament, New Testament, a Psalm and a Proverb every day. So you didn't get stuck in Leviticus back in the day. That's right.
• 25:10
  And so we would text each other every day. And then as time passed, God would lay people on my heart and they would say, you need to share what God's sharing with you in his word. And so I started texting different friends as God would lay something on my heart.
• 25:26
  And it got to where I was texting about 23 different people every morning. Oh, my goodness. I know. And it would take almost as long to do the text as it did for me to do my reading and my devotional writing. So what I decided to do is I have just developed a small private group where I share with people that are interested what I learn from God's Word every day. And the reason that I do this is because I want them to know that every time you open God's Word, it is alive and living and breathing and it speaks to us.
• 25:56
  So I don't ever want this to be something that replaces anybody reading God's Word for themselves. But I just want it to be an encouragement for them that His Word absolutely changes lives. Oh, that's amazing. It's beautiful. I love that. How would I even read some of those writings? I know I could use some.
• 26:14
  encouragement and I've loved what you've said today. I'd love to hear more about that. Thank you. I believe that my daily devotionals are going to be posted on the iRefresh page online. So if you ever wanted to read one of my devotionals, they will be there for you to look at. That's great. And you can get a hold of that from iRefresh.net, which we want to encourage you to subscribe and be a part of that.
• 26:39
  Ladies, I am just thrilled that we've been able to have this conversation today. And I just know that this connection has just been God-ordained. I'm just so grateful that we have been able to join together. And we just want you all connecting with iRefresh. We want you to just let us know how we can pray for you. Again, we're ordinary women.
• 27:02
  and doing extraordinary things for the Lord. And we want to hear about what God's doing in your life and what extraordinary things he's doing for you. So connect with us at irefresh.net, whether you're listening in on podcast or whether you are watching on YouTube, subscribe because we'd like to hear more from you. Thank you.
• 27:24
  After a decade of gathering women together for prayer, we are inspired to bring our words of encouragement to you. This is I Refresh.