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Season Two, Episode Seven: Sounding Off! · Flail to the Face: A "Compatible with Mörk Borg" Actual Play Podcast

0:00
Greedy scum and welcome to Flail the face.
0:02
I am Kevin, I am your flail Meister and I am here with this
0:05
group of degenerates. Who are you guys?
0:07
I'm Thomas Ginostami playing Dalton Walls, also known as Axel
0:12
Weasel Dust. What is up?
0:14
I am TomTom Gambino. I am playing Colette Stellarno,
0:18
who is currently in the body of the amazing Hank the Shortwave
0:21
Evangelist. I'm Mr. Paschke.
0:23
I'm playing Donnie, who's in the body of Morgan Cyber Tanner, who
0:29
is, you know, his own thing. Just gonna leave him at that.
0:33
Leave him at that. Or her.
0:35
I'm playing a character trapped inside of this character's body
0:37
and it doesn't know. We're falls deep into Wasteland
0:40
DeGeneres and there's only one thing we could do from here is
0:43
flail. All right, last episode you guys
1:13
found yourselves in some sort of post apocalyptic wasteland in
1:18
one vehicle chained to another vehicle behind it with a vehicle
1:22
on either side the same way a boxcar that was pulling a
1:25
motorcycle and then they pick up with tank treads that had a car
1:28
behind it. Turns out you guys were in some
1:30
sort of fucked off Death Race, and thankfully luckily you guys
1:35
made it out alive due to a rockslide that took out the
1:39
other two and then you guys just coasted through sandstorms and
1:43
snipers and oil slicks be damned.
1:45
After the race you caught up with Tunguska.
1:49
Tunguska if you guys remember what is the hell spawn that is
1:54
on a mission in this realm looking for the malefactor, the
1:59
demon, the the medium bad in this area.
2:02
And Tunguska has a reason to believe that it might be the Gas
2:06
King, the guy that runs all the fuel in this area, his daughter.
2:09
She's out to go. I mean, you're going to help
2:11
her. But first you guys get done with
2:13
the race. She's kind of rattling off
2:15
what's going on, what she knows, and trying to figure out what
2:19
the hell you guys are doing there for it.
2:20
Drinks and partying are going on around you, and eventually the
2:24
night comes to a close. She shuttles you guys off to a
2:27
rundown trailer to get some rest.
2:30
Next day dawns, you guys can re roll your warps on your
2:34
character. I got 2.
2:37
OK, got. 2RE rolls 3. That is the three.
2:41
Gorgeous. So I also get to roll and I can
2:45
keep that one. You can all.
2:47
Right, I I rolled a three and then I and.
2:50
I think you get D2 as a classless 1 right?
2:53
Oh, how did I have 4 the last time?
2:55
I don't know. Did you get 3?
2:57
Fuck it, you got 4. I don't care, you'll need them.
3:01
Whatever. We're a lot of one hit point
3:04
characters today. Can I have 7?
3:07
I don't know, Donnie. What are you going to do for
3:09
Doctor Throckmorton? Donnie I.
3:11
Have one hit point. Do anything, Doctor Mommy.
3:16
Come on, Doctor Mommy. Anyways, day dawns as the sun is
3:22
starting to rise, you guys hear a knock at the trailer door.
3:26
Are we all in the same trailer? You guys are all in the same
3:28
trailer. OK.
3:30
How was the sleeping arrangement?
3:32
Yeah, I'm probably here in the knock.
3:34
I claw out from underneath of the amazing Hank who had like
3:39
rolled off of his top bunk and just like oh fallen on top.
3:44
On the floor and I just slipped. On on top of me.
3:48
Oh. So that I just like, crawl out
3:51
from under you to go into the door.
3:53
Goodnight. God damn it, I go open the door,
4:04
squinting into this awful wasteland.
4:07
Are you guys awake? The amazing Hank is awake and
4:10
he's like. Oh God damn it, why move?
4:12
Why my back? Hurt.
4:14
I wonder why? What?
4:16
What will that look for? All right.
4:18
What? You 2 made quite the commotion
4:20
last night. What you talking about?
4:22
Sounded like you fell hard. Don't ask, don't tell.
4:26
Kick the front door open. You guys have 5 minutes and then
4:29
we're hitting the road. Get your shit together and meet
4:32
me at the car. I assume that's Tunguska, yes.
4:34
OK. What is there?
4:36
Well, God, there's no breakfast. There's no buffet.
4:39
Good. Good morning to you too. 5
4:41
minutes. That's hardly enough time to
4:42
cuddle afterwards. What the Oh.
4:44
Crazy Oh. Damn it.
4:46
Ruffle your hair a little bit. Who, me or?
4:49
Hey, yeah, we're an item apparently.
4:52
Oh God damn it. We're.
4:53
Doing it for. Colette on the inside of of the
4:57
amazing Hank is trying to climb out.
4:59
Her personality is fighting for dominance too, and she's like,
5:02
God damn it Dominic, if you touch me again, I will rip your
5:05
hand off, shove it up your ass. But the only thing that comes
5:08
out is. God damn it, behaving like a
5:11
Jackass. So she gave you guys 5 minutes
5:14
to get yourselves together. OK, I just throw on my dazzling
5:18
leather jacket with the tassels and I open the window and look
5:23
outside to see if my congregant, my bad bastard, is where I left
5:28
him outside tied up on a pole, just to make sure he's OK.
5:33
And I look out the window and there he is.
5:35
He waves. So you're into that sort of
5:37
play. I got it.
5:39
Oh, don't be weird, he likes it out there anyway.
5:41
I really don't. You see, he loves it.
5:44
No, not, not. Not a lot, hardly at all.
5:49
But I mean, the amazing, Ank said.
5:51
So they hate it. Amazing.
5:53
You could be worse. I could.
5:54
I could bring it back to Arby's. No, we don't know they had the.
5:59
Yeah, is what I thought. Nobody wants to go back to
6:01
Arby's. I close the window.
6:08
So you guys get yourselves together.
6:11
You meet up with Tunguska over by this huge long old vehicle
6:17
looks like a fucking 60s Bonneville.
6:20
The thing is built like a goddamn ship.
6:22
But you do notice that it is beefier.
6:25
I mean, not like those things couldn't take a fucking hit
6:28
anyways. They were made from solid steel.
6:31
It's got big reinforced bumper in the front and it's got spikes
6:35
coming out the tires. The trunk lid is it's hinged in
6:39
the middle, and there's just a variety of random weapons inside
6:44
of the vehicle itself. Are we riding with you or are we
6:47
bringing our own stuff? You can bring your stuff, but
6:50
you're kind of re riding with me.
6:52
I kick the tires a bit and I go. Oh God damn, this.
6:55
This thing is built fucking great.
6:57
Yeah, she's a beauty. Had this one for quite a while.
7:00
She's it's she's beautiful. Anyways, whenever you guys are
7:05
ready and she hops into the driver's seat, fires up things
7:09
louder than a fucking freight train.
7:11
I go over to my vehicle, which is like a Baja kit June buggy,
7:16
and there's a trunk on the side that I just kind of kick open,
7:20
OK? And that's where I'm grabbing
7:21
like my equipment because I have 50 foot of rope and a grenade
7:25
launcher. Perfect.
7:27
Nice. I go to my car, which is a
7:30
Volkswagen Beetle with like a radio antenna, like a giant
7:34
radio antenna on it because I have to broadcast my preachings
7:38
all across this God forsaken hellscape.
7:40
And I get my spiked VAT and my backpack mounted ham radio
7:46
perfect. And then I get I get my bad
7:48
bastard. And I thought, I'm like.
7:50
Come on, buddy, come on. We're running the Bonneville.
7:53
OK, I get the trunk again, right?
7:56
No, I come pushing my motorcycle right past him and proceed to
8:01
trying to cram the motorcycle itself into the trunk.
8:07
Okay. I don't think that's going to
8:09
fit. I didn't ask you go away.
8:13
Fun. You want me to Jackass about it?
8:14
I. Can't leave my baby behind.
8:16
Trust me, your vehicles are be safe here.
8:19
Just in case kind of looks around either side, they'll be
8:22
here. But what if I need it?
8:24
Sure, if you can fit it in the trunk, by all means.
8:28
Roll AD 20. I don't know what you'd roll AD
8:32
20 for, but sure, go ahead. Watch out.
8:36
All right, so I rolled A6 to fit the motorcycle in the trunk.
8:42
From what you can tell, it looks like it's fits, it's in there,
8:46
kinda. It looks like it's in there,
8:48
looks like it's witch, and they're pretty good.
8:50
Cool. So she's already in there in the
8:52
driver's seat, She's revving the engine and she's waiting for you
8:55
guys. All right, I get in the back
8:57
seat. I enthusiastically call shotgun
9:00
and jump in the passenger seat. I open the door for my bad
9:03
bastard and he gets into. He sits in the middle in skiing
9:06
position. I guess I take the one available
9:10
seat left. How many seats are in the 1960s?
9:14
Bonneville, you said technically.
9:15
You could fit 6 people in it because they have those long ass
9:18
seats. Oh, yeah.
9:20
So as soon as you guys get in close the door, she punches it
9:23
and just starts heading into the great beyond.
9:26
She looks back at you guys. We got about 50 miles before we
9:31
get to the last known location of Zoya.
9:34
While I've got you guys in here. What?
9:36
How? Why are you here?
9:39
What? Why exactly are you here?
9:41
I know that you guys are here to help us.
9:43
We're we're here with the Milfs. He he meant to say 4 of the
9:48
milfs. Well, technically one.
9:50
No, we are the Milfs. You guys are with Throck Morton.
9:53
Yeah, that's correct. And we're all filled in on the
9:56
situation. With yeah, we we understand more
10:00
or less the situation. You don't know.
10:05
You don't tell us what we don't. Air quote Doctor Throck Morton's
10:10
would like to let you know that she knows more than she knows.
10:13
She probably told you that a bunch of us wolf agents went
10:17
rogue and took off. Yeah, yeah.
10:20
Okay, she told you that we were actually working for her, right?
10:24
Yeah she did say that, but she also said that y'all have become
10:30
literal demons. Hellspong.
10:32
Okay, so First things first, did she tell you guys that you guys
10:36
are going to be working off your prison sentence by jumping into
10:39
these? It's it's the only reason we
10:42
agreed to this. Well, yeah, pretty much.
10:45
I mean, what else are we going to do, honestly?
10:47
Sit around a trash heap. Yeah.
10:49
Kind of like where we're at now when you think about it.
10:52
Exactly, we're still basically elbows deep in bullshit which
10:56
just smells better. Plus change of scenery is kind
11:00
of nice. However, I will admit this
11:02
bodies fashion choices are lacking.
11:07
I don't know it it suits you well.
11:09
Going. To dangle the tassels on my
11:11
jacket. But anyway, now what?
11:13
The hell are you talking about? Well it sounds like Doctor
11:17
Throckmorton is putting out the same fucking bullshit that she
11:20
put out for everyone else that's become a MILF agent.
11:24
I found out she was full of shit, sending us off to
11:27
different places to pick up the worst of the worst to help
11:31
colonize and work on hole. And it's obviously not true
11:36
because I mean the hole just keeps getting bigger.
11:39
Nobody leaves. The only reason we left is
11:42
because we found we found a higher purpose.
11:46
We found that we can actually do some real change and help in
11:50
these realms. We know that if we go back to
11:53
whole, we are going to be condemned.
11:55
But at least if we take these malefactors, these demons, these
12:00
infernal beings that are taking over this multiverse, then we
12:04
know we'll be doing good. You can take whatever the good
12:08
doctor says. You know she may, she may let
12:11
you guys go. All I know is she's used every
12:14
other MILF agent for her own plans.
12:19
But what else is in it for you? I mean, I doubt.
12:22
Yeah, saving the world and all is good, but you're literally.
12:26
Selling your soul. To be demons You're training 1
12:29
damnation for another, and you're telling me that you're
12:32
just sacrificing yourself out of the goodness of your heart?
12:35
That smells like bullshit. Hank's got a point.
12:38
I'm from here. This is where I was before I was
12:42
incarcerated and sent to whole. This is where I'm from.
12:45
This is why I'm here. Any of the hell spawn that you
12:48
find on these realms, that is the realm they're from.
12:52
That is their home. Well, if you don't mind me
12:54
asking, what crown did you do to get yourself put in whole?
12:57
It was such a long time ago. I don't even know.
12:59
I mean, it could have been murder, it could have been
13:02
robbery. It could have been jaywalking.
13:05
At this point, it does. It doesn't matter.
13:07
I mean that at 1st 2:00 sounds like you should have been on
13:09
hole. Yeah, well, jaywalking.
13:13
It'll get you every time. Oh damn.
13:14
That's a sin. Either way, it doesn't matter
13:17
what I did to get on to hole. I have an opportunity now to go
13:22
back home with a new outlook and new, new set of of powers, I
13:29
guess you would call them new abilities to save my home.
13:33
And the people that I care about, those people that we saw
13:36
in that town there, those bunch of fucking hooligans that we're
13:38
driving away from, that's my family.
13:40
Or you're just setting yourself out to become a despot of your
13:43
own. I have to do something.
13:45
I mean, at least choosing action, I guess is noble, but I
13:49
mean, thank you for sharing your insight.
13:51
But I think we're going to kind of keep an eye on the good
13:54
doctor ourself. Completely understandable, the
13:57
air quote. Good doctor and I never saw eye
13:59
to eye to begin with, so maybe I'm bitter, maybe she's fucked
14:02
me over far too many times, who knows.
14:05
How long was your prison sentence for?
14:07
119 years. That sounds like a lot of
14:10
jaywalking. Yeah, well, it was.
14:12
Anyways. I'm not going to tell you not to
14:14
listen to the doctor. She may be on the up and up.
14:18
I know that her and I never saw I die, but now that I am here
14:22
and now that I know that I can do better.
14:25
Granted is cost a little bit of my soul, but I mean in the grand
14:30
scheme of things, who's using that shit anyways?
14:32
A little bit. What percentage would you say
14:34
you gave up your soul? Rolls percentile enough to know
14:39
enough to feel it. Now if you guys don't mind.
14:44
And she looks over at Axel. Axel, will you grab the steering
14:47
wheel real quick? Keep it straight.
14:48
Oh, you had to have that stipulation reaches over and
14:51
balances. It.
14:53
As you reach over she starts shaking and almost vibrating and
14:59
as she's doing that you can tell that she's uncomfortable in the
15:04
skin that she is in. So do I see like her flesh, like
15:07
rippling her or something or anything?
15:10
It is. It looks like the the skin is
15:13
like rippling and and vibrating and.
15:16
Instantly let go of the steering wheel and get kicked back to the
15:19
far passenger side. She grabs the steering wheel,
15:22
straightens out the car. I look at this and I go.
15:25
Whoa. Sorry, I'm still getting used to
15:28
the flesh that I mean. I don't feel I deserve the
15:32
humanity that I'm in right now. How long have you been in that
15:36
person? Who knows, it feels like it
15:38
could have been weeks or months. But what happened to your
15:41
original body? Well, this is my original body,
15:44
but it's not. I don't feel welcome in it.
15:47
I feel like my true form wants to be bursting out of the skin.
15:52
So did you like leap into a younger version of yourself?
15:55
No, I'm basically myself, but with a darker entity inside
16:01
that's constantly trying to break out.
16:04
And every so often I I just have to shed this this flesh to get
16:10
to feeling normal and then I can get back into it and when I'm
16:13
around other folks. So you're saying we need to take
16:16
a pit stop? That's what I'm hearing.
16:19
No, I think I'm fine right now. That and I need to keep.
16:22
Because we could. We we could.
16:23
Take a break. You know, some of us might have
16:25
to go to the bathroom. You could shed your flesh.
16:28
Hank looks out the window and he sees a sign that says REST STOP
16:32
and he goes. Well, there's one right there.
16:34
And as you guys are discussing this taking of a break, pull off
16:40
to the rest area and we'll take a break.
16:54
So you survived, so far at least.
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19:40
Welcome back to Flannel the Face.
19:42
We are on a road trip looking for the Gas King's.
19:48
Daughter I I thought we were on a bathroom break.
19:50
We are, we are on the bathroom break.
19:52
We are on a bathroom break on said road trip.
19:55
We were sounding off. Yeah, sounding off.
19:59
Sounds like a good time. I don't like this town.
20:02
Is this at all? Pull off the side of the road,
20:05
there is a rest area. There is an old rundown gas
20:08
station convenience store. Who knows what the fuck can be
20:11
here. There's some scattered broke
20:14
down or looks potentially broke down vehicles and pretty much
20:18
nothing else around. I'm going to go check out that
20:22
falling down gas station. I want to see if there's
20:25
anything worth salvaging out. Of it, I want to see if there
20:27
are recent pieces. OK.
20:30
Tengeska looks at the three of you.
20:32
I'm going to duck back behind this building to kind of get
20:36
reacquainted with the flesh that I'm in.
20:39
Do what you got to do for five. Yeah, you don't look great.
20:42
I don't feel great, OK, we got 5, we got shit we got to do.
20:47
And she tucks off back behind the building.
20:50
All right, I am. Going to just talk on my ham
20:54
radio and spread my gospel a little bit.
20:56
OK, so I just spread my gospel through my backpack radio.
21:00
But sometimes I feedback OK and the the voices talk through my
21:05
ham radio sometimes. OK, So what exactly are you
21:08
doing? Are you, well, hosting up in
21:10
front of the gas station, Jay and Sila Bod style?
21:13
I'm I'm thinking I'm. More like broadcasting to just
21:17
the random airwaves and I'm just scanning around and I am, I
21:22
guess, like just reaching out to any of my other congregants out
21:25
there trying to find out more about the gas King and his
21:29
daughter. OK.
21:30
I'll let you get that all set up and then we'll come back to your
21:33
role. What are you guys doing, Axel
21:35
and Morgan? I am going into that gas station
21:38
and I'm going to be creeping in. I have my grenade launchers
21:42
slung across my back, but I also have a board with nails in it.
21:46
OK. And that's what I'm like
21:47
creeping forward with, because now I'm just curious if there's
21:51
anything worth a crap in this building.
21:54
OK, what about you, Morgan? Oh, see, I kind of want to tag
21:57
along into the gas station, but I also kind of want to get a
22:00
peek at our demon friend. Shedding the flesh, I imagine.
22:04
OK. I'm going to go with the ladder.
22:07
I'm I'm going to try to stinky stink, OK, And if I get caught,
22:11
I'm just going to ask if if they need a hand and it's going to be
22:14
cool. All right.
22:15
This plot worked in like the 1990s.
22:18
It would be fine, no one's going to question it.
22:20
No. All right, we'll go back to the
22:22
amazing Hank. All right.
22:23
How are you setting up this and how are you broadcasting?
22:26
Well, what Hank's doing is he's found a nice rock that he could
22:29
set his ham radio on, and it sets up to the dials he throws
22:33
on his jacket make. It's nice.
22:35
And presentable. He hits a little switch in his
22:39
jacket and it lights up. He's he's feeling himself.
22:41
He's getting his groove on, like he's feeling his mojo.
22:45
And he grabs his microphone, turns on his ham radio, and he
22:48
goes. Look alive, people of the
22:51
wasteland. This is the amazing Hank here to
22:53
deliver unto you your damnest sermon.
22:56
Now listen up. Yeah, all isn't good.
23:00
There's a wayward soul out there.
23:02
Who is in need of? My guidance, my divine
23:05
Providence of whoa, whoa, I can feel it.
23:10
Can you feel? It and I hold the microphone
23:12
out. I was like, can you feel it
23:15
good? He he knows.
23:17
Nobody's going to listen, but like he thinks it just random.
23:22
Tumbleweed rolls by as he's doing his spiel and Hank goes
23:26
up. Now y'all may have heard about
23:29
this. There's a girl out there,
23:31
daughter of the Gas King, and I have been given a vision.
23:36
That she is in need of help. She's out there, she's all
23:39
alone, so. If one of you, my delightful
23:44
family, my wonderful congregation.
23:47
Has any information to give and? If you are driving all these
23:52
dusty, dusty roads, you will see me in a white Bonneville and if
23:59
you could run up to the car, stop it by any means and tell
24:02
me. The knowledge you have to share
24:04
tell. Me.
24:07
And that is all the amazing Hank.
24:09
Over and out and he clicks off his ham radio.
24:12
OK. Well that was pretty good make.
24:14
I got it. Go ahead and roll me AD 20.
24:17
OK, that. Was a 10.
24:19
I'm going to warp it. OK, that's a 12.
24:21
OK. Oh, wait.
24:22
What? What?
24:23
What? What stat would it be?
24:25
Presence. No stat.
24:26
What's that? OK.
24:27
Just a little sum sum for me all.
24:28
Right, I have one. Warp All right, so as you're
24:31
doing this, Morgan, you are rounding the side of the
24:36
building and you see Tunguska standing there and her body is
24:40
vibrating and almost looks like the air around her.
24:43
The area around her is vibrating as well.
24:47
And as you're standing there, you see her clothes vibrate into
24:51
nothing hot and then you see her skin sort of vibrate into
24:56
nothing and it's just muscle and blood dripping from where she
25:00
stands. As you're staring at this and
25:01
she's still vibrating, this large tail shoots out from the
25:06
back with spikes going all the way down.
25:08
And as the spikes are popping out of the tail, going from the
25:12
tip of the tail to the base where the body is, the spikes
25:14
spread all over her body, and it's just dripping with thick
25:18
blood. After that's all said and done,
25:21
she's just standing there, flesh and spike blood dripping, and it
25:24
almost looks like she is calm. Damn, she's just taking a
25:28
minute. Kneels down, catches her breath,
25:30
trying to regain herself. Go ahead and roll a presence
25:36
test, DR12. I'm sorry.
25:38
Agility. Agility test.
25:40
Still 12. Still 12.
25:42
Cool, that has better modifier for me that's 1414 OK.
25:47
She does not notice you. She is fully in her own world
25:51
right now and she's just sitting there kneeling down and is
25:55
motionless. I quietly lurk away.
25:59
Axel, you open the door to the gas station.
26:01
Little bell over the door chimes as you walk in.
26:05
As you walk in, behind the counter is a very, very
26:09
gristled, very old man just sitting there thumbing through a
26:12
magazine. You can tell that he's thumbed
26:14
through for at least the past 20 years.
26:18
Same thing I've been reading for the past forever.
26:20
What can I do for you? I'll just see what we got here.
26:24
We don't got much or nothing. The gas King hasn't brought my
26:26
fuel load yet. We may have food here, I don't
26:30
know. I don't need the shit here.
26:31
You're welcome to look and see if there's anything that catches
26:34
your eye. All right, well, he's weird me.
26:37
So I'm going to just start like walking around and is there
26:40
anything actually here or is it just?
26:42
You know what? Roll a presence test.
26:45
It's a 19. 19 you do find there's some sort of food
26:51
products that are far beyond their expiration date.
26:55
Bags of dried meat and chips and canned foods.
26:59
You do also see a half used first aid kit, some bandages,
27:04
some ointments. I'm.
27:05
Going to see if I can snatch that without grabbing his
27:08
attention. He's not paying you any mind.
27:10
He doesn't care. You're not the first person to
27:12
come through and pill through this.
27:14
He's not messing. And I'll throw a couple cans of
27:17
expired food in there. Okay, that'll count for food
27:20
reactions in the medicine box, which will have D4 uses when you
27:25
decide to use it. Nice.
27:27
As you're going through, you're picking stuff up, trying to see
27:30
if there's anything that's worth a shit.
27:32
You here in the backroom, a commotion, like somebody bumped
27:36
into a shelving rack. And then all of a sudden you
27:39
hear quieted tones like. OK, I'm gonna like kind of squat
27:44
down below like line of sight, normal line of sight.
27:47
OK, I kind of like crab walk over towards this back door to
27:52
see if I can peer around the corner.
27:54
OK. As you're making your way over
27:55
there, actually make it an agility test DR10 to sneak that
27:59
way. Plus. 3.
28:01
That is a 21. 21 OK, you stealthily Solid snake in the
28:06
box get over to the doorway and you see very emaciated, very
28:12
gaunt, tumor covered beings rifling through the backroom.
28:18
There's a four of them back there and they're trying to be
28:21
as quiet as possible, but you can tell that there's no it's
28:24
almost like there's no humanity in their eyes.
28:27
They look hungry for whatever they could possibly get their
28:30
hands on. I take a deep breath and try to
28:34
like let this body's memories kind of flood in to try and
28:39
recognize if this is a normal occurrence or anything on this
28:43
planet. OK, go ahead and make a
28:45
knowledge test, DR10. 16. 16 As you're going back and trying to
28:53
harness any of the memories from this body, they start to come
28:56
flooding to you that these are Skraelings.
28:59
They're nearly mindless savages, weak from hunger and covered in
29:03
all these cancerous tumors. They're looking for anything
29:08
dead that they can feed on, and you know from Axel's run
29:11
insurance with them that they will attack in a moment's
29:15
notice. All right, I will.
29:16
Unsling my grenades launcher. OK.
29:21
And just aim to drop a shell right in the middle of them.
29:24
Oh no. OK.
29:25
I guess go ahead and fire, you have the drop on them.
29:29
I do, I have a grenader ability so to shoot grenade launcher or
29:35
throw grenades as ADR 10 for me. Perfect.
29:38
Is that agility then or? It's a presence test.
29:42
I am going to use a warp to lower difficulty.
29:45
Perfect because I got a. 9. OK, so what's the damage on
29:50
that? This is a D6 to D3 targets.
29:53
OK, so you fire it off, go ahead and roll the D6.
29:59
D6 is 3 damage. How many of them did you hit?
30:02
2. OK, amazing Hank and Morgan, as
30:06
you guys are doing what you are doing, whether it's broadcasting
30:10
to the masses or trying to sneak a peek at a demon's cheeks.
30:15
When I did. You did?
30:16
Hell yeah you did. You hear an explosion coming
30:21
from the inside of the gas station.
30:23
Boom, I actually blew up the toilet.
30:25
Probably normal for these parts. Oh God damn it, he does better
30:28
than to eat freaking gas station X salad.
30:31
As the explosion goes off, you see Tunguska frantically pick up
30:36
her belongings and head toward this gas station.
30:39
That is a big porcupine. Roll initiative.
30:42
Oh shit. I am going to roll my D6 for my
30:46
adrenal overload. OK.
30:48
So for three rounds I go first no matter what the initiative
30:52
is, and then I also go after the enemy.
30:55
Goes. OK.
30:57
In that case, I guess we still roll initiative and then Thomas
30:59
gets to go. First, Axel still goes.
31:01
Axel still goes. Who's rolling an ish?
31:03
I'll do initiative. OK.
31:05
That's a four. OK, so it's Axel and then crew
31:09
and then Skraelings and then Axel looking.
31:11
Yep. Yeah, so I heard it fire away,
31:13
OK. Axel All right.
31:14
Axel looking. Did any of them go to pieces
31:19
after that explosion? Did any of them go to heaven?
31:22
You see that two of them took huge chunks out, but they're all
31:26
four still standing. Oh no, they're still mad.
31:29
I'm going to tactfully retreat, scuttling back.
31:32
Go past this guy with magazine. Go.
31:33
You got some stuff in the backroom there, huh?
31:36
Wait, what? Just like go through the door.
31:38
As you're running by, he's coming out from underneath the
31:41
counter because as soon as he heard the explosion, he dunk and
31:44
covered. He took that class in school and
31:46
he's like, wait, no, what the what the fuck are you doing
31:48
getting out? And then as he's saying all that
31:51
stammering, you're out the door. Yep.
31:53
Now it is the group's initiative turn.
31:56
Well, I only have a spiked bat. What is the exterior of this gas
32:01
station like? Not like a lot of windows,
32:04
right? Not a lot of windows, big cinder
32:06
block built building. OK, so I'm going to hide behind
32:10
the door with my congregate next to me, and then as soon as they
32:14
come out, we're going to attack the one in the back.
32:18
The congregate got out of the car.
32:19
Yes, OK, OK, he is with you. He's probably fiddling with the
32:23
with the ham radio trying to. He also has a spiked.
32:26
Bat OK. Both of you guys got a spiked
32:28
bat, so you guys are basically just holding your turn until
32:29
something happens. Yeah, until the fools come come
32:32
out and try to chase after Axel. OK, Morgan.
32:36
Morgan will take the opposite side of the door with their 2 by
32:41
4 with the nail in it. So as you guys are posted up,
32:44
let me let me paint the picture for myself.
32:47
Axel and Hank are out front of the front door and Morgan is
32:53
towards the back. Or did you circle around to the
32:55
front as well? I think Morgan's with me like
32:57
we're. Yeah, I was.
32:59
I figured they were on either side of the door as I'm coming
33:02
running out of the door. I'm with you.
33:04
OK? And Tunguska has actually ran
33:08
through the hole that the explosion caused, OK?
33:10
So not more than a few seconds go by, the door bursts open,
33:14
little bell chimes as it is, and you see four of these emaciated,
33:19
hungry looking, tumor filled beings with this dead look in
33:24
their eye and they stare the four of you down.
33:27
Two of them you can see have major damage.
33:30
One's got half of their arm blown off.
33:32
The other one has got a huge chunk out of the side of their
33:35
chest and it doesn't seem to be really stopping them.
33:39
So they burst through the door and they spread basically just
33:44
one at each of you. So everybody, you go ahead and
33:47
make defense rolls, you'll make 2/1 for yourself and one for
33:52
your congregate, OK? I had a dirty 20.
33:54
Perfect, I got a net 20. Perfect.
33:57
That means you get to attack back.
33:58
I got a 19 and A7. Hank will take the 19, The
34:02
congregate will take the seven. OK, so they come bursting
34:06
through. You guys still have the high
34:08
ground, if you will. They come slashing, scratching.
34:11
They got just big. It almost looks like sharpened
34:13
bone for hands coming through and they they're swinging at the
34:18
four of you and they do catch your congregant, which does D4
34:23
damage two. OK.
34:26
And do they have any? It doesn't say they have.
34:30
Armor. OK, so they take two damage.
34:33
Yes, they take two damage. OK, so as the one is attacking
34:37
you, Morgan, you find that you're in a advantageous
34:41
position to attack back. What do you do?
34:44
Shots to the head, generally I find it's the most effective
34:46
way. Like they're attacking at me.
34:47
They leave their head open and it's just like, OK swing, OK
34:52
nail. 1st the attack. Hey, better, better, better,
34:54
better. It's not a bad.
34:56
It's a 2 by 4. That would be a three.
34:59
OK. So as you go and swing, you lose
35:02
your footing and you swing wide and that is their round axle.
35:07
Oh, I don't want to potentially hurt my friends with this
35:12
grenade on turn. That would be nice.
35:14
How many rounds do you have in that, by the way?
35:16
6 now down to 5. Holy fuck.
35:19
OK, interesting. You had a knife too?
35:21
I do have my board with a nail. Oh yeah, Board.
35:23
With a nail in it. That's my shtick right now.
35:27
So yeah, I'll take a swing at the guy that tried to claw and
35:32
scrape and bite me. OK, perfect.
35:34
That's that's an 8. All right, so.
35:37
Yeah. How do you miss?
35:39
Basically as I'm like turning around after getting through the
35:43
door, I'm like kind of stumbling backwards a little bit and this
35:47
thing is like continuously like swiping at me.
35:50
So me, it's just like that panic swipe.
35:52
I'm like. Got it.
35:55
All right. I know you still get to go first
35:56
for the next two rounds. Roll initiative.
35:59
Oh. Wait, I didn't.
36:00
I didn't. You didn't attack.
36:01
I apologize. Please, Mr. Gambino, do
36:04
something. I'm going to go with my.
36:07
Guy also, well, well, he's rolling.
36:08
I believe I only counter attacked.
36:10
I didn't actually attack. Attack, Yeah.
36:12
I no, because I thought you guys were.
36:14
We were, we were staged up, OK. I think what happened is me
36:18
going that first through everybody off.
36:22
OK, either way, everyone attacked.
36:24
But I rolled an 18. OK, that's a hit.
36:26
And I roll in decent. Which one are you attacking?
36:29
Are you going through the one with the hole in the chest, the
36:33
one that's missing part of the arm, or the two good ones?
36:36
I'm going for the one that's beat up.
36:38
I'm going to go fill them with the hole in the chest, OK?
36:41
And I'm going to be like God. Damn it, I'm going to kick your
36:44
ass. Perfect. 5.
36:47
Tell me how you do it. Oh man, I I, I gripped my bat
36:51
and I'm like. Come here, you son of a bitch.
36:53
And I wind up and I fucking Babe Ruth, this guy square in the
36:58
fucking head. I connect with my bat, nails
37:02
Pierce his skull, one pops out his eye and like and as his
37:06
corpse goes down I just like put a boot on his chest and I just
37:10
like pull my bat out of his cranium.
37:12
Excellent. All right, Morgan, what do you
37:14
got going on? Morgan, you know, just two by
37:16
four to the head 2. By 4 to the head.
37:19
That is a nine twit A9 do I have?
37:22
What do I add like a modifier to that like?
37:24
That would be your strength. Strength.
37:26
OK, it's a nine day. OK, so caught off guard by the
37:29
you. Could use a warp and lower your
37:31
difficulty. Warp the you use warp to reroll
37:34
more. Yeah, I could.
37:36
I would like to lower the difficulty.
37:37
I will let you lower the difficulty and consider that a
37:40
hit. All right.
37:41
Yay. Okay, I'm involved.
37:43
You are. You are doing damage, you're
37:45
doing stuff. You're doing great.
37:47
All right, and 2 by 4. Is that D4 damage?
37:51
Yeah, Oh no, that did not count, although that would have been
37:56
nice if it did. I wish I had gone with that
37:59
first one. I did a damage.
38:00
You did a single damage. I did one damage.
38:03
And which one are you going for? Fresh one or the one that's
38:06
missing the arm? There's also a guy with half an
38:08
arm. I'll go.
38:09
With fresh guy freshy got it fresh all right.
38:11
Now roll initiative so we can let Axel go first and then go
38:15
from there for the next two rounds.
38:16
I'll roll initiative. Yeah, you will.
38:17
What does our fearless demon leader lady do?
38:20
Oh yeah. She hasn't popped out yet.
38:21
Oh shit, OK I rolled A3. Perfect.
38:25
Them first, but. Axel first and.
38:27
Then for Axel, oh, he's swinging at the guy.
38:29
That's a 17. That is a hit.
38:31
Solid connection, so I'm going to say which one do you think is
38:35
the one that came running at me? The one that is missing half the
38:39
arm. OK.
38:40
Or D4. That is a point of damage.
38:45
OK, this one is looking pretty beat up.
38:48
It's still up and running, so as you go and swing your two by
38:53
four with a nail and catch it across the chest, it's going to
38:56
take an attack with its good arm.
38:58
Go and roll a defense. That is a 13, but I just
39:02
realized I'm wearing my tactical armor so my defense would be a
39:06
14. OK.
39:08
So yeah, I miss it by 1. So he manages to hit.
39:12
OK, it's AD 4 damage all right. That is 3 points of damage and
39:16
my armor is AD 6 to take down to points of damage.
39:21
So I am at 00. No.
39:26
You are at 0 broken. That means you are broken.
39:31
Do we want to figure this out now or?
39:36
I mean like we have to. I got a 5.
39:40
All right with A5 and fall unconscious for D4 rounds
39:43
awakened with the D4 HP. I'm down for four rounds.
39:47
Oh God, OK. Now does that get halved because
39:50
you you go twice each round? No, I can try.
39:54
I could try. You did that.
39:56
You could try. I give you credit for that.
39:58
All right, so you guys just watch one of these Skraelings
40:01
drop Axel like it was something to do?
40:04
Axel, God damn it, I'm mad at both of you.
40:07
I'm mad at the guy that attacked you, Axel.
40:09
I'm mad at you Axel, for getting hit.
40:11
Morgan yes, the one that you were swinging at, the one that
40:15
you hit for the single point of damage is swiping at you with
40:18
this clause. Go ahead and make an agility
40:20
test to defend. I don't care for that.
40:22
I know. Hey, hey, no, they're not 20.
40:26
OK, Well then you successfully defend and you can attack back.
40:31
I say do so. All right.
40:33
You know, I'm good. I don't.
40:34
I don't feel like I need to. I'm going to let this one slide.
40:38
You're going to let this one slide?
40:39
You rolled a four? Yeah, that I don't think you're
40:42
going to let it slide. The dice did that for you.
40:44
OK. This Skraeling swings at you,
40:46
misses. You find proper footing and then
40:49
swing back and then miss, unfortunately.
40:52
And Hank, you've got 1 coming after you.
40:56
And I also got my my bad bastard with me so.
40:59
He will be going after you all. Right.
41:01
So first I'm going to do me. That's agility, right?
41:04
Yes. OK, I have a -1 to agility, so
41:06
that's great. OK, with the -1 that's a.
41:10
OK, so that is a hit. Because I have no armor, I have
41:15
a stop sign. Hang on one second.
41:16
Ah, here we are. No armor, but you've scrounged
41:20
up a shield out of a no parking sign.
41:23
Requires one hand. Reduce damage by one or discard
41:26
it to ignore all damage from attack.
41:29
OK I'll like so I'll use the stop sign shield to negate
41:32
damage. OK.
41:33
So as this tumor filled being goes and slices at you, you
41:37
bring up the shield and it slices that stop sign in half
41:40
and just drops to either side of you.
41:42
It just crumbles and like. God damn it took me forever to
41:46
make that. It is now your guys's turn.
41:49
I pass out. Yeah, I I will go 1st.
41:52
I'm going to roll for me first and I'm just going to get the
41:55
guy that fucked. Up my shield.
41:56
OK, that's a 10. I'm going to spend my last
41:59
element to reduce that. OK.
42:01
To reduce, yeah. Sounds good.
42:03
Because God damn it, my boy Axel went down.
42:05
I'm fucking pissed. I I want blood.
42:08
The amazing Hank. Wants to fucking.
42:10
Kill. Fuck, that's a one.
42:13
So one damage. Yeah.
42:15
All right. And is that one guy who's
42:16
attacking me? He's no, he's one of the fresh
42:18
ones. Right.
42:19
Yes. Yeah, because the guy that
42:21
attacked Axel was the guy with the messed up arm, correct?
42:25
Yeah, yeah. And then my congregant.
42:27
Goes. Yes, he does.
42:28
When he rolls. A2 OK.
42:31
The congregant, I guess, like doesn't know like what to do
42:34
because like, he's more experienced in driving.
42:37
When it comes to combat, he's still kind of new and he goes.
42:41
I don't know about this, Hank. And I go God.
42:44
Damn it, I've told you, just wield the bat and just.
42:47
Crack it like we practiced. Perfect.
42:49
OK, Hank, next time I'll be better.
42:52
Morgan, what are you doing, Morgan?
42:54
Is still attacking this foolish sicko?
42:58
Ruffian. Is how could it come at me with
43:00
such a foul odor? That's I would like to, I would
43:06
like to reroll that. I will allow it.
43:08
That's much better. That's 10 better than the last
43:11
time. That's 17.
43:12
Beautiful. Hell yeah.
43:14
Now go ahead and roll your damage.
43:17
That's a 2 damage, which is twice as good as my last 10.
43:22
All right. Matt this.
43:23
Is quite the fight. This guy is looking pretty beat
43:27
up but still standing as you guys are swinging at these tumor
43:31
infested beasts. The door bursts open again, and
43:35
Tunguska is standing there. The only one that really
43:37
recognizes it would've been Morgan.
43:39
Well, I guess Axel isn't seeing much of anything right now.
43:43
I'd see the inside of my eyelids.
43:45
It is Hank. You see this muscle and blood
43:51
and spiked being burst through the door and without even
43:56
blinking an eye grabs the first one that they see, which was the
44:00
one that was standing over Axel and is attempting to grab it.
44:05
I'll go ahead and roll that attack.
44:08
You see this otherworldly being wrap up that one armed tumor
44:13
filled being and just squeeze it against her body, piercing
44:20
through the tumors and the flesh and squeezing and just drops
44:26
limp. It's hanging from her spikes.
44:29
It's so fucking. Cool.
44:30
The moment is Sasa moving. She pushes it off of her body
44:33
and it drops to the ground right next to Axel.
44:36
Initiative. Well, first of all, I'm just
44:38
going to look at this thing and I'm just like.
44:41
Good guy. I leave you idiots.
44:43
For five. Minutes.
44:45
Cool. OK, great. 6 All right, so your
44:50
guys's attack. I I'll I'll go first.
44:52
I'm gonna So we got 2 fresh guys left right?
44:55
Correct. We have the one that you've
44:57
injured that looks like it's pretty beat up and then there's
45:00
one that is looking still pretty fresh.
45:03
Yeah, my congregant Roll the six.
45:06
OK. And Hank?
45:08
Roll the fucking 6. OK, explain how you both miss.
45:12
We both try to hit him at the same time but we trip and we
45:17
just like crash into each other like.
45:18
Oh God damn it. Oh, you're so told.
45:21
Watch where you're freaking going.
45:22
Like you watch where you're going, Hank.
45:25
Morgan. Yes, Morgan, I will crush your
45:29
brain. You nailed.
45:32
Well. I believe I have one more not
45:36
Omen warp. I believe I have one less warp.
45:39
Okay, what would you like to do? I would like to use that to
45:42
reroll the style. I will let you.
45:43
Okay. And even you. 8 is better than
45:47
A1. 8 is better than A1. How do you miss?
45:50
It's it's very, it's not my fault the ground was slippery
45:54
because of the petroleums that had leaked onto it.
45:59
So he slipped, OK. And you know that perfect old
46:02
chestnut? That old chestnut.
46:04
So at this time you have one of these things attacking you and
46:10
your congregate, Hank, and you have the other one attacking
46:13
you, Morgan. Is Tunguska going?
46:15
Yeah, Tunguska is actually going to attend to Axel.
46:19
OK, OK, so. OK, I guess I will roll for me
46:24
first. Fuck, that's an 11 all right.
46:27
And they deal with D4 damage. D4 damage.
46:30
Well I guess no matter what happens and we I take 1 HP and I
46:33
go down. OK.
46:35
And I roll as long as they don't roll at 1:00.
46:37
I didn't think about it before, but you can remember to warp
46:40
reload deuce damage. That's a four.
46:43
Berserk, go ahead and test presence DR10.
46:46
All right. That's a 19.
46:48
OK, you didn't fail, so you just fall unconscious.
46:53
Yeah. OK, so.
46:55
And then I'm out for three rounds, OK, And now my
46:58
congregant is dodging. He rolled A9.
47:03
OK. And then there's a four.
47:06
Yeah. Fuck Max damage, my bad bastard
47:11
is dead. OK, so this thing just slices
47:16
between the both of you, catching you both across the
47:19
chest, knocking you down, but as it's following through, it just
47:24
slices through your congregate, Yeah.
47:28
And yeah. They almost splitting it into.
47:30
In fact, as it slices through the top half sort of folds back
47:34
because it cut that deep into the chest.
47:37
Oh God, oh God. And then drops and.
47:39
Before he drops, I go. God damn it.
47:43
Any fall and Hank falls down and.
47:44
That's how you feel unconscious, actually.
47:46
Just the shock of seeing him ripped in half and folded over
47:52
exactly. Morgan do.
47:55
You. Did you already?
47:57
I think I already went. I mean, I can, as a bonus
47:59
action, I can go over to the fallen congregate and just be
48:02
like, may the Mecca lava embrace you, sweet child.
48:08
OK, so Morgan, as you're seeing Hank drop and the congregate
48:14
sliced into and you're hoping they find the Mecca llama in the
48:17
afterlife, you turn around to see the Tunguska stop what she's
48:20
doing to try to revive Axel and takes that tail and swipes at
48:25
the closest one in front of her and that will be she swings wide
48:32
so she actually missed. But Morgan go ahead and roll
48:35
initiative. Oh shit, OK.
48:37
Was it AD 60 Sixers? I've never rolled initiative in
48:41
this game. Oh my four, that is you.
48:45
What would you like to do? Well, there's plenty of gasoline
48:50
around, right? Not really.
48:54
I have some though. OK.
48:56
I have 3 gallons of gas. On you.
48:58
It's at least with my motorcycle in the trunk of the car.
49:01
OK, how flammable would you say these guys are?
49:04
They're in tattered rags. And tumors are pretty.
49:06
Flammable. I believe tumors are the most
49:09
flammable of potential body parts.
49:11
Just like eucalyptus oil. Mm Hmm.
49:13
Is this true? Wait.
49:14
Either way, I feel good about it.
49:16
I want to see where this is going.
49:17
I would like to run and grab my can of gas.
49:21
I would like to douse the remaining baddies with with
49:24
gasoline. I'm going to say that's going to
49:26
take more than one round to run over, grab the gas and douse
49:30
them. You could run and grab it.
49:32
Yeah, I'm going to run and grab it because my tactics have not
49:34
been working thus far as I'm the only one up.
49:37
OK, as you run off towards the car, tongue gasket just
49:41
screamed. What are you?
49:43
Doing change of plans flails, ends.
49:47
Goes to try to clothesline one of the closest ones to her and
49:52
actually she hits. That's fucking amazing and
49:55
actually fucking maxes the damage.
49:58
So as you were telling her that you're running with the change
50:01
of plans, she goes to clothesline one of these things,
50:04
and as she does, the spike pierces right through the neck,
50:08
out the back, and the thing hangs limp from her arm.
50:11
Hard fucking core. There is one standing.
50:15
Morale test. Morale test.
50:18
This one sees their friend. I don't know if you call it a
50:22
friend. The fucking tumor filled being
50:26
that they were scavenging with just get spiked through the neck
50:29
and they're beating feet as they're running.
50:32
They're leaving a fucking trail of blood and tumor shit behind
50:37
them and they just run off into the fucking the wastelands until
50:41
it's just vapor trail and then they're gone.
50:44
So we have two unconscious adventurers and 1 running to the
50:49
car and as Morgan gets back sees Tunguska standing there peeling
50:55
the scryling off the arm, shaking off any of the tumors
50:59
that are on there. The door for the gas station
51:02
opens, the old man pops his head out and another disbelief says
51:07
those boys looked infected. This episode of Flail the Face
51:55
features the game's wasteland DeGeneres by Scott C McDonald
51:58
and Matthew Mislisky and Hell spawned by Richard Marker and
52:01
Lee Iovis with Thomas Gino Stemi playing Dalton Walls and Axel
52:05
Weasel Dust Tom Gambino playing Colette Stellarno and the
52:09
amazing Hank Charles Patch be playing Donnie and Morgan cyber
52:12
Tanner and Kevin Welch as the game master.
52:15
Season 2 theme music is void construct by Alex Grohl, editing
52:18
by Kevin Welch, episode art by Tom Gambino and video editing by
52:21
Dan finey. And on behalf of the cast and
52:24
crew of flay of the face, we want to thank all the listeners
52:26
for sticking with us. Without you, the season wouldn't
52:28
be a thing. So if you could do us a favor
52:30
and like subscribe and follow on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram,
52:34
blue sky and YouTube yeah, we're on there too and share with all
52:36
your friends so we can get out there to more people.
52:38
With that being said, thank you for listening and we'll catch
52:40
you guys next time. Oh, I'm sure he does.
52:53
Has to. So what you're?
52:55
Telling me Cyborg has a reattachable donger.
53:02
He has a dongle, no? He has no flashlights.
53:04
He has a flashlight, but he's so he's a full self-service.
53:09
It's like one of the screwdrivers that's got like the
53:11
different attachments, you know, it's got Flathead, Phillips,
53:13
Fleshlight. You know we've all got one,
53:14
right? Yeah.
53:16
Yeah. I have I have one that could
53:18
switch out my regular tip to an echidna penis tip that has four
53:21
heads. Oh wow.
53:23
That's pretty impressive fun. Fact about the echidna.
53:27
Fun fact. Fun.
53:28
Fact. You don't hear that from the
53:30
Sonic game. 1 is a working thermometer.
53:32
I could disappoint me and my and others.
53:35
So. I think I found the photo.
53:42
There we go, you share 2. Oh.
53:48
Where is discord? Discord.
53:51
You abandoned me. Why if you forsaken me?
53:54
I'm just trying. Discord Why have this is Bob Bob
53:57
has no arms Knock knock. Who's there?
54:00
Snap. Bob.
54:04
Bob. Did it send?
54:07
Can you please send friend? Friend.
54:10
Can you please send why you do this?
54:16
Friend technology, why are you forsaking me?
54:19
Damn I. Just want to share a stupid
54:21
photo to the group chat so you guys can see my sword collection
54:24
and I can feel validated in my life.
54:26
I want to show my friends how cool I am.
54:29
They're not. You don't understand Internet.
54:32
You're just not such. A mom.
54:36
AI hasn't gotten smart enough to understand the sense of shame,
54:40
but. It understands shame is the
54:47
moment it will realize that it has no good use for the human
54:51
race and we will be eliminated. Chat, Chat GPG.
54:56
What are you doing in the bathroom?
54:58
Nothing. Nothing.
55:00
I am brushing my teeth. Go away.
55:03
I just remembered I posted it to Instagram.
55:07
What you're gonna say come. But Oh yeah, and ejaculate
55:12
everywhere and. Finally.
55:14
Merry. Christmas.
55:16
Happy New Year, you filthy animal.
55:18
Right. Been fucking edging you guys for
55:20
the past six episodes. Feels good finally to get there
55:23
though. Yeah.
55:24
Yes. Anyone else's toes curling?
55:26
Fuck yes. Did the thing where they spread
55:29
apart and then I got a muscle cramp.
55:31
Yeah, that's a joke for people in their late 30s.
55:36
Yeah. Right.
55:37
Never wake up in the middle of the night and you're like, why
55:40
am I awake? And you feel that cramp in the
55:42
back of your calf and then you're like, Oh no, now I know
55:45
why. Fuck yeah.
55:47
I'm glad it woke me up so it's. Usually also immediately
55:50
followed by the I need to go to the bathroom but it hurts to
55:55
walk. Right, it's it's the I have to
55:57
go to the bathroom. OK, I'm on my way back to bed
56:00
now. Time to get in the shit.
56:02
No, no crap. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
56:05
The worst? Wasn't my was when they had
56:07
gout. For the first time.
56:08
Oof, I've never had gout. Don't do that experience.
56:12
It. Fucking sucks.
56:13
It feels like your toe is being stabbed by a dagger that's on
56:17
fire. Everything hurts and I hobbled
56:21
my ass to work that day. I, I, I put socks on,
56:24
excruciating. I put shoes on.
56:26
Even more excruciating. I.
56:28
Walked on it 15 minutes to get to the train.
56:31
Normally it takes 5 minutes but my fat but my hobbling ass is
56:35
like a pirate. And then I took the subway full
56:38
of inconsiderate fucking New Yorkers who don't give a shit
56:42
about me or my troubles. I'm moving slow.
56:44
They're like, hey, fucking. Move it and it's like fuck user.
56:49
Just don't look at my toe. Yeah, oh God, it was like red
56:55
and swollen and not fun. That sounds awful.
57:00
It is terrible. My boss has got gout but he
57:03
deserves it. So you guys are off to a great
57:09
Sir. Oh my.
57:11
God. Dude, one hit point is rough.
57:13
One hit point is rough in any Burke Borg but lucky balls.
57:19
I'm surprised you guys even kept it, but I mean kudos for doing
57:23
it. Hank got a fucking kill.
57:25
Yeah. Sorry I couldn't do you any more
57:29
damage, Axel. I tried man.
57:33
Holy shit though, Tunguska coming in like a boss.
57:38
Yeah. All right.
57:39
Our literal boss in this game. Spike Mommy.
57:44
Spike Mommy. Spike Mommy.
57:48
Beat me to it. Sorry, I'm sad, I'm sorry I have
57:51
to. So thanks.
57:52
But it was said, I feel like Donnie and Hank have to do a
57:55
scene together. I I've been trying to think of
57:57
how we can make that happen, but I'm just like I don't.
58:00
Know Hank's whole thing is that he doesn't trust processed
58:03
foods, so I'm thinking like maybe he looks he's thinking
58:08
like. Now I'm thinking maybe the the
58:10
the Mecca llama is more about. Whole.
58:14
Foods like whole grains and stuff because I don't trust any
58:17
of these processed food bullshit.
58:19
You see here nothing should be processed the fact it should all
58:23
be as close to life as possible. To.
58:25
Get the most nutritional value into your diet.
58:30
No more in this processed bullshit.
58:32
No more chips. No more freaking Twinkies.
58:35
No. Look at this rat.
58:37
Look at it move. Look at it.
58:42
Delicious. You lost me.
58:46
You lost me with that one. Here try bite.
58:49
Drip, drip, drip, drip, drip. Delicious.
58:59
Tastes like chicken. OK, Do you want to take a break?
59:04
Yeah, yeah, let's let's take a break.
59:06
Let's see, let's see like what how this goes.
59:10
Morgan's going to go to the way that and you know, OK, well,
59:15
toilet activities. Oh.
59:17
Activities. Character break.
59:19
Not like actual break break. I mean, are we taking?
59:24
Do we looks out 2 by fours with nails It's.
59:30
Popular pieces of wood with sounding rods in them.
59:35
I hate this. No, you don't.
59:38
Does the gas station sell sounding rods?
59:41
And then it's a little late to ask.
59:43
You should have probably gotten to that before the explosion.
59:47
But are. We naming the episode The Sound
59:49
of Music. We're going to sound at this.
59:52
You're getting an earful. I I still think the sounding off
59:56
is a good one. Sounding off.
59:58
The sounding of music. I'm actually not bad at sounding
1:00:03
off. Is there a broken table in here
1:00:06
I? Mean like we have to.
1:00:08
I think there is a broken. Yeah.
1:00:10
It's in the back. Hang on.
1:00:11
Is it in the back? This rulings break is brought to
1:00:14
you by wasteland degenerates. Wasteland degenerates.
1:00:19
What a fucking rad game. It is a very fun ass game.
1:00:23
Brought to you by Scott McDonald and Matthew Mislisky.
1:00:26
They're really good people.