Latest / The Trauma Therapist / When Something Happens to You with Robyn Miller, Ph.D
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: Trauma Thepist Podcast Plus listeners can listen to episodes early
- 0:03Speaker 1: and ad free right now. Become a Plus listener by
- 0:07Speaker 1: going to Apple Podcasts, searching for the Trauma Thepist podcast
- 0:11Speaker 1: and signing up today. Welcome to the Trauma neverst Podcast,
- 0:18Speaker 1: a show about the incredible people dedicated to helping those
- 0:21Speaker 1: who experienced trauma. My name is got macpherson, and my
- 0:24Speaker 1: mission is to raise awareness of trauma and to inspire
- 0:27Speaker 1: each of us to help those around us. Robin, you
- 0:35Speaker 1: ready to do it?
- 0:36Speaker 2: I'm ready?
- 0:37Speaker 1: Okay, So five four, three, two and one, our folks,
- 0:42Speaker 1: welcome back to the podcast. Very excited to have as
- 0:45Speaker 1: my guest today, doctor Robin Miller. Robin welcome, Thanks so
- 0:48Speaker 1: much for having me.
- 0:50Speaker 3: Awesome so.
- 0:51Speaker 1: Robin is a licensed clinical psychologist and the founder of
- 0:54Speaker 1: therap Closure, the first therapist professional executor service. Robin has
- 0:59Speaker 1: been in private practice in Bethesda, Maryland since two thousand
- 1:02Speaker 1: and two. She received a BA in child study from
- 1:05Speaker 1: Tufts and a PhD in clinical psychology from the University
- 1:08Speaker 1: of Rochester. She completed a pre doc internship at Harvard
- 1:12Speaker 1: Medical School, Mass Masssachusetts Mental Health Center and a post
- 1:16Speaker 1: doc fellowship at Harvard University Health Services and Ober twenty
- 1:20Speaker 1: years of clinical practice, Robin has provided training, supervision, coverage,
- 1:25Speaker 1: and professional will and practice, executive consultation and services, and
- 1:29Speaker 1: she's written on the topic. Awesome, Thanks so much for
- 1:32Speaker 1: being here. Before we dive in, I'm really excited to
- 1:37Speaker 1: dive in because I know very little about what we're
- 1:40Speaker 1: going to be diving in to today. But before we do,
- 1:43Speaker 1: share with the listeners where you're from originally and where
- 1:45Speaker 1: you are currently.
- 1:47Speaker 2: Sure, I am from nearby Bethesda, Maryland, and found my
- 1:52Speaker 2: way back here after a lot of time, you know,
- 1:55Speaker 2: in other places, and have been back here practicing for
- 2:00Speaker 2: almost twenty five years. So yeah, all.
- 2:04Speaker 1: Right, So let's move into the topic of today. But
- 2:12Speaker 1: before we do, how did you get into this field
- 2:16Speaker 1: rawly in the first place?
- 2:18Speaker 2: Sure? Well, when I was twelve, I said I wanted
- 2:22Speaker 2: to be Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, and that
- 2:25Speaker 2: didn't happen. By the time I was in college, I
- 2:30Speaker 2: was very curious about how we came to be who
- 2:33Speaker 2: we are and went into child study, and from there
- 2:37Speaker 2: went into psychology and thought I would be a professor,
- 2:41Speaker 2: but then loved the work of psychotherapy and so moved
- 2:45Speaker 2: straight from there into this art and science of connecting
- 2:52Speaker 2: with people and trying to help them kind of get
- 2:54Speaker 2: to the heart of what's going on with them and
- 2:58Speaker 2: what they want.
- 3:00Speaker 1: You you mentioned becoming a chief justice. Did you like
- 3:03Speaker 1: pursue that or was that just some whim thing here?
- 3:07Speaker 2: Yeah? No, that was my twelve year old self when
- 3:09Speaker 2: you asked kind of here, it's like, I don't know,
- 3:12Speaker 2: I don't know. Yeah, yeah, we're going to go and
- 3:15Speaker 2: we're kids.
- 3:16Speaker 1: Well, yeah, I mean it's really interesting because you know,
- 3:20Speaker 1: a lot of therapists in this field, there are there
- 3:24Speaker 1: are kind of bread crumbs that you can follow, you know.
- 3:26Speaker 1: They they have that innate ability need want to connect
- 3:31Speaker 1: with people or and or listen to people.
- 3:35Speaker 3: So you start to pursue this. Uh, you went to school,
- 3:40Speaker 3: you got your degree. What was it about.
- 3:45Speaker 1: Let's go back to when you first started seeing clients,
- 3:48Speaker 1: even even in your training, what was it about that
- 3:51Speaker 1: that interaction you mentioned finding out like what's going on?
- 3:56Speaker 1: Talk to us about that?
- 3:58Speaker 2: Yeah, I just love kind of that electric experience when
- 4:04Speaker 2: you are really looking at someone and they are looking
- 4:07Speaker 2: at you and they want to be seen, or even
- 4:09Speaker 2: when they don't want to be seen. Some of My
- 4:12Speaker 2: most favorite people to work with are people who initially
- 4:18Speaker 2: did not want to be seen and kind of put
- 4:20Speaker 2: put their hands up, but then you know, really just
- 4:23Speaker 2: finding a way to see each other in the room,
- 4:27Speaker 2: and you know, being I think my most authentic self
- 4:31Speaker 2: in the room with people is a really nice experience
- 4:38Speaker 2: for me to be there in a way that I
- 4:42Speaker 2: think sometimes is more vulnerable than I'm able to be
- 4:45Speaker 2: in my regular life, and it allows for kind of
- 4:49Speaker 2: a really special way of connecting, and I think that
- 4:52Speaker 2: gives people a taste of intimacy or a kind of
- 4:58Speaker 2: way of relating that can be very healing and very powerful.
- 5:02Speaker 1: And to get to that point where you understand the
- 5:07Speaker 1: importance of being your authentic self, right, I mean, was
- 5:13Speaker 1: that a no brainer for you?
- 5:15Speaker 3: Did you just ease into that or.
- 5:18Speaker 1: For many of us it's I mean for a lot
- 5:20Speaker 1: of us, it's hard to be our authentic selves a therapists.
- 5:25Speaker 1: What was that learning process like for you and how
- 5:29Speaker 1: did you realize that that was key and elemental to
- 5:32Speaker 1: the work.
- 5:34Speaker 2: Yeah, it's an interesting question. I mean, certainly my own
- 5:38Speaker 2: experiences over time with therapy and how important and meaningful
- 5:42Speaker 2: it's been in my life, and that way of relating
- 5:45Speaker 2: I think informed a lot of what I do and
- 5:48Speaker 2: how I say with people. But I think definitely for
- 5:52Speaker 2: a long time, I was maybe a little more rigid
- 5:58Speaker 2: around my way of sitting, more formal, maybe boundaried, and
- 6:04Speaker 2: I still consider myself pretty conservative as far as boundaries go,
- 6:08Speaker 2: but there's a difference in sort of being really open
- 6:13Speaker 2: about how I'm feeling and what's happening in the moment
- 6:17Speaker 2: with people. And that's that's what I really cherish.
- 6:22Speaker 3: People connect with, that we need a human being.
- 6:26Speaker 1: I've told this story before, but recently, like a year
- 6:30Speaker 1: and a half ago, I wanted to get back into therapy.
- 6:33Speaker 1: I just moved here to Bend from Oakland, and I
- 6:38Speaker 1: reached out to my therapist. She was no longer seeing anybody,
- 6:42Speaker 1: but she had referrals. So three referrals, I call them all,
- 6:45Speaker 1: and I'm sure they were all competent, but one of
- 6:51Speaker 1: them in particular, spent the whole time telling me about
- 6:54Speaker 1: the modality and that they were going to use and
- 6:56Speaker 1: this was this, And I was like, I need a
- 6:59Speaker 1: human being who you know what I'm saying, I don't
- 7:02Speaker 1: need to know your personal intimate details, but what exactly
- 7:07Speaker 1: what you're talking about is what I feel a lot
- 7:10Speaker 1: of us need. And it's oftentimes the exact opposite, I
- 7:17Speaker 1: mean of what people experience when they're traumatized. Right, They're
- 7:21Speaker 1: not seen, they're not respected, they're not heard. But anyway,
- 7:24Speaker 1: I love it.
- 7:25Speaker 3: Okay, So.
- 7:28Speaker 1: You start to get into this work, talk to us
- 7:31Speaker 1: about this whole specialization.
- 7:34Speaker 3: That you work in, and when did that become on
- 7:39Speaker 3: your radar?
- 7:42Speaker 2: So it was a big surprise, and it happened about
- 7:46Speaker 2: six years ago when my very closest therapist friend and
- 7:51Speaker 2: supervision partner, we had met weekly for seventeen years, oh
- 7:55Speaker 2: my god, a long time, she suddenly had a terminal
- 8:02Speaker 2: illness that went very, very rapidly, and I stepped in
- 8:08Speaker 2: for her practice and for her, and through the course
- 8:12Speaker 2: of that very painful and tragic circumstance, I learned so
- 8:23Speaker 2: much about what it takes and realized that in our
- 8:29Speaker 2: training we are never really prepared for that. What is
- 8:34Speaker 2: there is very superficial and administratively focused. Might here make
- 8:40Speaker 2: a will. It's your professional ethical duty to plan for
- 8:45Speaker 2: the well being of your patients in the event of
- 8:48Speaker 2: an incapacitation or death, or planned for what happens to
- 8:52Speaker 2: the confidentiality of your medical records, and it's prescribed, you know,
- 8:56Speaker 2: name someone and you know sign on the dot in line.
- 9:00Speaker 2: And I think that's as far as people really ever
- 9:03Speaker 2: think about it, if they think that far, which I
- 9:06Speaker 2: think most don't. I did a survey recently and thirty
- 9:10Speaker 2: one percent said that they have a professional will. But
- 9:14Speaker 2: I think that was kind of a skewed cool. I
- 9:17Speaker 2: think it's much lower than that. Even so, I learned
- 9:23Speaker 2: about what it takes to do the job, what's required.
- 9:28Speaker 2: I wrote a paper about it because it really was
- 9:30Speaker 2: the most wrenching experience for me, having to grieve my
- 9:36Speaker 2: friend and at the same time put my feelings to
- 9:42Speaker 2: the side and have to be present to inform all
- 9:47Speaker 2: of her patients and help them with referrals and take
- 9:51Speaker 2: care of so many things that I could say more
- 9:54Speaker 2: about in a minute. But the process of doing that
- 9:57Speaker 2: while greeting and having my own full time practice and
- 10:00Speaker 2: young children and all of those things was really excruciating.
- 10:05Speaker 2: So then I wrote a paper to try to process
- 10:08Speaker 2: my grief about that.
- 10:09Speaker 3: And got what was the paper called? What was it?
- 10:12Speaker 3: This was a topic?
- 10:15Speaker 2: Sure, so it uh was called I don't know if
- 10:21Speaker 2: I'll even get it exactly right anyway professional wills, and
- 10:26Speaker 2: it was grief and the dismantling of a practice as
- 10:31Speaker 2: the practice executor, So it was really trying to convey
- 10:35Speaker 2: you know, I'm a you know, psychodynamic and relationally oriented therapist,
- 10:39Speaker 2: so as my friend from that perspective, we looked at
- 10:42Speaker 2: grief and the loss of the attachment real therapeutic relationship
- 10:47Speaker 2: as a potential trauma for each patient that was going
- 10:51Speaker 2: to be told this person you relied on for however long,
- 10:55Speaker 2: you're not going to see them again. It was it
- 10:58Speaker 2: was that abrupt, that drastic, and you know, the consequences
- 11:04Speaker 2: were really devastating, and then how to handle what people
- 11:08Speaker 2: were going through and provide for them became, you know,
- 11:12Speaker 2: the mission and became the preoccupation for my friend of
- 11:17Speaker 2: her remaining weeks. It was very short, but her being
- 11:23Speaker 2: alive for those weeks really informed and taught me about
- 11:30Speaker 2: what needs to happen because she was there saying, this
- 11:34Speaker 2: is what I want you to do, and this is
- 11:36Speaker 2: what this patient needs, and this is what that patient needs,
- 11:40Speaker 2: and here's how I want you to handle this. And
- 11:42Speaker 2: so it became this really detailed, comprehensive way of assuming
- 11:50Speaker 2: kind of the needs of all these patients, very differently
- 11:53Speaker 2: than from what I think typically happens, even if someone
- 11:57Speaker 2: has named a professional executor, and especially if they haven't,
- 12:01Speaker 2: where a colleague puts a note on your door and says,
- 12:05Speaker 2: ex therapist is not available. Call doctor so and so
- 12:09Speaker 2: for information. And then they might call and they might
- 12:12Speaker 2: be oh, I'm sorry to tell you this happened, and
- 12:14Speaker 2: here's a list of ten referrals.
- 12:16Speaker 3: Good luck.
- 12:17Speaker 2: That's really minimum. And that's what happens, I think a
- 12:20Speaker 2: lot of times for patients. And I had the experience
- 12:25Speaker 2: of way before this even happened with my friend of
- 12:28Speaker 2: telling someone I had seen an obituary of a colleague
- 12:33Speaker 2: who had passed away, and I knew one of my
- 12:35Speaker 2: own patient's fathers saw this colleague for therapy and he
- 12:39Speaker 2: had told me how amazing the therapist was and how wonderful,
- 12:43Speaker 2: and I didn't know if he knew about it, And
- 12:46Speaker 2: so that was my very first entree where I called
- 12:48Speaker 2: him and said, this isn't about your son. You don't
- 12:50Speaker 2: need to worry, but I have something to share with you.
- 12:53Speaker 2: And I informed him and he said he had gone
- 12:55Speaker 2: to the office the week before saw a note on
- 12:58Speaker 2: the door, never called the because he thought, oh, she's
- 13:01Speaker 2: just an emergency, I'll go again. And you know, my
- 13:05Speaker 2: telling him, he was obviously devastated, sobbing on the phone
- 13:09Speaker 2: talking about what an amazing, amazing impact this person had
- 13:13Speaker 2: had on his life. So I had that experience before
- 13:17Speaker 2: my friend kimssed, and then I had her teaching me
- 13:21Speaker 2: what I needed to do and which like the opposite
- 13:25Speaker 2: end of things.
- 13:27Speaker 1: Let me jump in here, so you use the word executor,
- 13:30Speaker 1: is is the executor in this context the person who
- 13:35Speaker 1: manages the clients or takes over and begins to see
- 13:41Speaker 1: the clients.
- 13:43Speaker 2: No, so the executor is the person who fulfills the
- 13:48Speaker 2: wishes of the therapist. The therapist sets in a professional
- 13:53Speaker 2: will what they want done, how they want their patients notified,
- 13:59Speaker 2: who they might be referred to, Where you're going to
- 14:02Speaker 2: find the access information to get your patient's contact information,
- 14:07Speaker 2: where your records are kept, how you do your billing,
- 14:11Speaker 2: all the details of a practice, and you name typically
- 14:15Speaker 2: a colleague, an attorney will tell you this could be
- 14:19Speaker 2: that an administrative person. Sometimes people leave it to a
- 14:24Speaker 2: family member, but our ethical code is to leave it
- 14:28Speaker 2: with someone who is qualified, not only to interact with
- 14:32Speaker 2: your patients directly in a clinically oriented manner, but also
- 14:39Speaker 2: qualified in being aware of ethical obligations and the legal
- 14:44Speaker 2: obligations around confidentiality and the security of medical records and
- 14:48Speaker 2: compliance of all of that personal health information. So really,
- 14:55Speaker 2: it needs to be a colleague at minimum who then
- 15:00Speaker 2: depths in to fulfill your wishes. And that does not
- 15:05Speaker 2: mean taking on your caseload. It's impossible to take.
- 15:09Speaker 3: On this two separate things.
- 15:11Speaker 1: Okay, let me just remind everyone I'm speaking with doctor
- 15:14Speaker 1: Robin Miller. She's the founder of their Closure, the first
- 15:18Speaker 1: Therapist Professional Executors service. Okay, so, man, this is this
- 15:25Speaker 1: is intense and there's no two ways about it. And
- 15:28Speaker 1: your experience in particular, she was very intense. Was it
- 15:31Speaker 1: after that that you founded their Closure? Talk to us
- 15:35Speaker 1: a little bit about that, and then let's get into
- 15:37Speaker 1: the specifics of what you do there.
- 15:39Speaker 2: Sure. No, it took me a while to get here.
- 15:44Speaker 2: I did this for my one friend and then sadly
- 15:48Speaker 2: I had to do it a second time for another
- 15:50Speaker 2: friend who had a crisis, and I stepped in to
- 15:54Speaker 2: do this for her practice. She thankfully returned to her
- 15:57Speaker 2: practice a number of months later. But in the meantime
- 16:00Speaker 2: I had that as well, and so then I started
- 16:03Speaker 2: doing trainings. And when I did trainings the Maryland Psychological
- 16:07Speaker 2: Association last fall or last winter, the reactions I got
- 16:13Speaker 2: for people were like, whoa, you are stressing me out here.
- 16:17Speaker 2: I never thought about this. I never heard about that.
- 16:21Speaker 2: Or the person that I named, you know, twenty years ago,
- 16:24Speaker 2: has since retired. I don't have close enough colleagues to
- 16:27Speaker 2: ask to do this, you know. People were so overwhelmed,
- 16:31Speaker 2: and so that was the spark from starting therap closure.
- 16:34Speaker 2: I was like, we need a better solution to this problem.
- 16:37Speaker 2: People don't know what to do and that's why they
- 16:39Speaker 2: don't do it. So that was my inspiration.
- 16:42Speaker 1: Now is this specifically for if a therapist is going
- 16:48Speaker 1: dies or is it if they leave and have to
- 16:51Speaker 1: just leave the profession?
- 16:55Speaker 2: So it is for incapacitation.
- 16:58Speaker 3: Or incapacitation Okay, if.
- 17:00Speaker 2: Something were to happen to you severe enough tragic enough
- 17:04Speaker 2: that you don't have at minimum kind of the mental
- 17:08Speaker 2: faculties to call yourself to your colleague and say, hey,
- 17:13Speaker 2: I need coverage because I got to take a month off.
- 17:15Speaker 2: If you can do that, then you got to do
- 17:17Speaker 2: that if you can't do that because something terrible has
- 17:22Speaker 2: happened and you are distraught and unable to function in
- 17:25Speaker 2: the therapeutic role, or if it's a physical incapacitation or death,
- 17:33Speaker 2: you are not able to be your psychological professional self,
- 17:42Speaker 2: then that is when a personal representative, someone that you
- 17:45Speaker 2: name to notify us, would contact us and tell us
- 17:50Speaker 2: something happened to you, and then we would step in
- 17:54Speaker 2: to take care of everything that you have already communicated
- 17:59Speaker 2: to us that you would want done for your patient.
- 18:03Speaker 1: So you folks are acting as that person or that okay, okay.
- 18:08Speaker 2: We take that on so that you don't have to
- 18:11Speaker 2: ask a colleague make this awkward arrangement with a colleague.
- 18:15Speaker 2: Sometimes people pay their colleagues, But the problem with that
- 18:18Speaker 2: is colleagues think, and it'll take two or three hours
- 18:21Speaker 2: to you know, wrap up somebody's practice. It's so so
- 18:27Speaker 2: overwhelming to it takes multiple hours per patient. You're going
- 18:31Speaker 2: to talk to them many times. You're going to have
- 18:35Speaker 2: hours of you know, searching for available therapists who will
- 18:41Speaker 2: be good matches for these people. You know, think how
- 18:43Speaker 2: hard it is these days to find a referral right right, Well,
- 18:49Speaker 2: you have to you know, so all of this it
- 18:51Speaker 2: takes hours and hours and hours. And if you name
- 18:53Speaker 2: a colleague and if you say, oh, my estate will
- 18:55Speaker 2: pay you your hourly rate to take care of this.
- 18:57Speaker 2: You know, for a practice of twenty patients a week
- 19:00Speaker 2: plus you know your records for all your past patients,
- 19:04Speaker 2: and a state could end up with a ten thousand
- 19:06Speaker 2: dollars bill completely unexpected. If the arrangement was my estate
- 19:12Speaker 2: will pay my colleague to do this. The other is,
- 19:16Speaker 2: you know, either it's voluntary, which mine was, and my
- 19:20Speaker 2: heart was happy to you know, be able to be
- 19:23Speaker 2: of use to my friends and do this was to
- 19:27Speaker 2: do this for them was in many ways a privilege,
- 19:31Speaker 2: but it also was a tremendous heartbreak and burden at
- 19:36Speaker 2: the same time that I wouldn't wish on anyone. So
- 19:38Speaker 2: I've learned through this process that it's really not the
- 19:41Speaker 2: best idea to have a close colleague do this for you,
- 19:48Speaker 2: and that it's really something we have not as a
- 19:51Speaker 2: field figured out how to make more efficient, cost effective,
- 19:58Speaker 2: palatable even for therapists to take care of this. So
- 20:03Speaker 2: during the pandemic and after when so many of us
- 20:06Speaker 2: switch to electronic health records, you no longer need it
- 20:10Speaker 2: to be your colleague who's in the office next door
- 20:13Speaker 2: to go into your office and find your paper calendar
- 20:16Speaker 2: and see who you're supposed to see and get the
- 20:19Speaker 2: paper records. We now have the possibility of outsourcing this
- 20:24Speaker 2: like we do with so many other parts of practice.
- 20:28Speaker 2: So that's where the idea came, like, this doesn't need
- 20:30Speaker 2: to be someone who's going to be in the throes
- 20:32Speaker 2: of grief themselves and overburdened. This can be someone who
- 20:37Speaker 2: you know. We certainly don't want it to be a stranger.
- 20:40Speaker 2: We don't want it to be totally a corporate impersonal thing.
- 20:44Speaker 2: But the model that I have developed is we people
- 20:49Speaker 2: who want to make this much easier on themselves and
- 20:54Speaker 2: cross off because I think a lot of people the
- 20:57Speaker 2: feedback I've gotten is I know I should do it,
- 21:00Speaker 2: I know I mean to keep intending to, I'm just
- 21:03Speaker 2: putting it off and on all of that. In order
- 21:05Speaker 2: to solve that and unburden yourself of that weight that
- 21:10Speaker 2: so many people carry, we have created the system where
- 21:16Speaker 2: if you want to sign up, we meet for a
- 21:18Speaker 2: really intensive consultation where we try to get to know
- 21:23Speaker 2: you and your practice and how you work, what your
- 21:26Speaker 2: orientation is what kind of patients you see, you see them,
- 21:30Speaker 2: how you interact with them, your general style. I want
- 21:34Speaker 2: to get to know the details of how you run
- 21:36Speaker 2: your practice, how where your records are, how you keep
- 21:40Speaker 2: your schedule, and then we come up with you with
- 21:44Speaker 2: a personalized plan of if something happened to you, how
- 21:47Speaker 2: would we access that like immediately, so we could reach
- 21:51Speaker 2: out immediately to your current patients and let them know
- 21:55Speaker 2: in as sensitive and caring away as possible. You know
- 22:00Speaker 2: that you would not want the end to be this way,
- 22:08Speaker 2: and that you have put together a really caring and
- 22:16Speaker 2: compassionate plan for how to take care of your practice
- 22:20Speaker 2: and your patients in the event of the unexpected, which
- 22:23Speaker 2: sadly has happened. You know, if we're making this phone
- 22:28Speaker 2: call to people.
- 22:29Speaker 3: Robin, excuse me, so who is this for?
- 22:35Speaker 2: It is for all therapists of all disciplines, social workers,
- 22:39Speaker 2: licensed marriage and family therapists, counselors, psychologists, it's for psychiatrists too,
- 22:45Speaker 2: but for their psychotherapy patients in particular. All across the disciplines,
- 22:51Speaker 2: therapists have this ethical obligation. If you go and look
- 22:56Speaker 2: in your ethics code, you're going to find it there,
- 22:59Speaker 2: even though you probably don't remember ever having heard about
- 23:02Speaker 2: it or talked about it, it's there and more.
- 23:07Speaker 1: Than something that's nice to do, nice to have checked off.
- 23:12Speaker 1: As a therapist, you're ethically responsible, yes, to take care
- 23:18Speaker 1: of this, to manage this, you are well.
- 23:22Speaker 2: And that is to help mitigate the effects of traumatic
- 23:28Speaker 2: loss on vulnerable people who rely on us and trust us.
- 23:34Speaker 2: Going back to the start of our conversation, that really intimate,
- 23:38Speaker 2: you know, meaningful relationship and for so many people with trauma,
- 23:43Speaker 2: what you're working on in therapy is the attachment relationship
- 23:47Speaker 2: and can you ever feel secure with someone? Can you
- 23:51Speaker 2: ever feel safe? Can you ever be yourself? Are you
- 23:54Speaker 2: going to be rejected or abandoned or harmed? And so
- 23:57Speaker 2: of course, you know the loss of a therapist in
- 24:01Speaker 2: a tragic and sudden means is going to be painful.
- 24:06Speaker 2: I mean there's no way around that. I can't prevent that,
- 24:08Speaker 2: and you know nobody can. But you can mitigate that
- 24:13Speaker 2: loss by communicating to the patients as I did for
- 24:19Speaker 2: my friend Kim. You know, I would call after call
- 24:22Speaker 2: after call to these people and say, you know, I
- 24:25Speaker 2: am the psychologist covering for Kim's practice. I have some
- 24:32Speaker 2: really upsetting news. I need to talk with you about.
- 24:35Speaker 2: Are you in a private place? Do you have supports
- 24:38Speaker 2: available to you? Kim wish she could tell you this herself,
- 24:43Speaker 2: but she is unable. She has been diagnosed with And
- 24:47Speaker 2: then people decide. My friend wanted it to be excruciatingly
- 24:53Speaker 2: plain and direct, so she wanted me to say she's
- 24:58Speaker 2: diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer and she is unable to
- 25:02Speaker 2: be available to her patients anymore. That's what she wanted.
- 25:06Speaker 2: Other people will want something different, but it's communicating to people.
- 25:11Speaker 2: Then your therapist not only is not available to you,
- 25:16Speaker 2: and that's really sad, And I'm here to kind of
- 25:19Speaker 2: help you through this immediate reaction and shock and help
- 25:25Speaker 2: you with resources so that you're not falling through the cracks.
- 25:29Speaker 2: That's really the intent. But also the important part of
- 25:36Speaker 2: approaching it this way is to preserve the new secure
- 25:42Speaker 2: attachment or the therapeutic alliance, whatever you want to call it,
- 25:46Speaker 2: as best as possible, so that it is a loss
- 25:49Speaker 2: no matter what we do. But it doesn't necessarily have
- 25:54Speaker 2: to be an abandonment. It doesn't have to be a trauma,
- 26:00Speaker 2: and you know it can it can be a loss
- 26:03Speaker 2: where people understand, Wow, my therapist really cared about me.
- 26:06Speaker 2: They did everything in their power to make sure that
- 26:11Speaker 2: someone would be there to help me if they were
- 26:15Speaker 2: not able to be there for me, and.
- 26:17Speaker 1: Not only managing the incredible, obvious, traumatic emotional aspect of this,
- 26:24Speaker 1: but also the logistics which you have to be handled,
- 26:28Speaker 1: the nuts and bolts of Okay, how do we move
- 26:30Speaker 1: on from here? There are these referrals yeah wow. I
- 26:38Speaker 1: mean as first of all, as you were talking and
- 26:41Speaker 1: you're talking about your own experience with your friend, I
- 26:44Speaker 1: was thinking, Okay, how common is this? But then you're like,
- 26:49Speaker 1: and then it happened again, so and you can I mean,
- 26:53Speaker 1: I can see why a lot of people don't even
- 26:56Speaker 1: want to go near this is this is hard stuff
- 26:58Speaker 1: to do. Even trauma in and of itself people don't
- 27:01Speaker 1: want to talk about. But this is like you're talking
- 27:03Speaker 1: about your own incapacitation. You know, you could see what
- 27:07Speaker 1: people don't. They want to avoid this.
- 27:11Speaker 2: People want to avoid it. And I've been presenting recently
- 27:15Speaker 2: at psych associations and trying to tell people about fair closure,
- 27:19Speaker 2: this new option, this new way to say, hey, I'm
- 27:22Speaker 2: going to spend an hour and a half, and I'm
- 27:23Speaker 2: going to spend a little money. It's a subscription service.
- 27:26Speaker 2: I'm going to spend maybe two sessions worth of my
- 27:30Speaker 2: pay a year to have and an hour and a
- 27:34Speaker 2: half of my time only once to be able to
- 27:38Speaker 2: outsource this whole thing and know I did the right
- 27:41Speaker 2: thing for my patients, for my family, nobody for my colleagues,
- 27:45Speaker 2: you know, Otherwise, families are the ones fielding the questions
- 27:49Speaker 2: around wait, where are my records? And how do I
- 27:52Speaker 2: find things? And patients are showing up in the waiting room,
- 27:55Speaker 2: and your colleagues have to tell them that something happened
- 27:58Speaker 2: to you. You know, I spoke with a psychologist just
- 28:03Speaker 2: this past weekend who told me that twenty five years ago,
- 28:07Speaker 2: her therapist died and she was not notified for two
- 28:12Speaker 2: months after she had gone repeatedly to the door for
- 28:16Speaker 2: her sessions, banging out where is she? And twenty five
- 28:21Speaker 2: years later, she's still accessing the emotion of that, both
- 28:25Speaker 2: the anger and the hurt in feeling abandoned, and now,
- 28:29Speaker 2: you know, wants to do everything she can to be
- 28:31Speaker 2: sure that that never happens to her own patients.
- 28:34Speaker 1: So when someone contacts you perspective client of the service
- 28:41Speaker 1: contacts you and after the initial information gathering, Now into
- 28:47Speaker 1: what degree are they in touch with you? Mentioned service
- 28:51Speaker 1: or subscription rather.
- 28:52Speaker 2: Yeah, sure. So what we do is we create a will,
- 28:58Speaker 2: very personalized as as I said, We figure out with
- 29:01Speaker 2: you what makes sense for your practice and how we're
- 29:04Speaker 2: going to do it, and we document that and it's
- 29:07Speaker 2: been legally approved and reviewed. We have a template, and
- 29:11Speaker 2: we make sure everything is in accordance with the regulations
- 29:15Speaker 2: of each state regarding record retention and notification requirements and
- 29:21Speaker 2: so forth. And you sign that will, and you notify
- 29:26Speaker 2: your personal representative that you want us to do this thing,
- 29:29Speaker 2: and they're in charge of if something ever happens letting
- 29:33Speaker 2: us know. We have different ways of different options around
- 29:39Speaker 2: how we would access your information. We have a password
- 29:45Speaker 2: manager option that you can use to allow us access
- 29:50Speaker 2: only in the event of an emergency. We don't want
- 29:53Speaker 2: access to your private things any other time, and then
- 29:58Speaker 2: we're on call. Essentially, we don't. We send you reminders
- 30:04Speaker 2: a couple times a year to update any information you
- 30:08Speaker 2: can leave. Part of the conversation is do you want
- 30:12Speaker 2: to leave specific instructions for particular patients you know, we
- 30:18Speaker 2: all well know the folks who would really struggle the
- 30:23Speaker 2: most and be most risk if something were to happen.
- 30:26Speaker 2: Do you have a special plan for them? Do they
- 30:28Speaker 2: need to be notified in a certain way? Are they
- 30:31Speaker 2: going to be at risk for harm to self? Does
- 30:35Speaker 2: the person call them need to have other backup in
- 30:38Speaker 2: place already before you notify them. You can update that
- 30:42Speaker 2: information as your caseload changes, as you know you maybe
- 30:46Speaker 2: your colleagues and change. We can refer patients to people
- 30:52Speaker 2: you chip choose. We can find referrals ourselves. Usually people
- 30:57Speaker 2: will say I want you to call my friend and
- 31:00Speaker 2: see if they could take one of my patients. But
- 31:02Speaker 2: if they can't because they're too busy, then you find someone.
- 31:06Speaker 2: We take on that responsibility. We notify your licensing board,
- 31:11Speaker 2: your malepractice insurance. We take custody of the records and
- 31:15Speaker 2: notify all your past patients so that if they're looking
- 31:18Speaker 2: for their records and they find practice is closed, they
- 31:21Speaker 2: know we go to get their records and we take
- 31:23Speaker 2: care of all of that. And there's no additional cost
- 31:26Speaker 2: to the estate. So your estate is not going to
- 31:29Speaker 2: wake up one day and have a ten thousand dollars bill.
- 31:34Speaker 2: You are taking care of that in your planning by
- 31:37Speaker 2: paying the modest fee each year to keep us on retainer.
- 31:40Speaker 2: And it is a gamble. I mean, for any one
- 31:42Speaker 2: of us generally healthy folks in our forties and fifties,
- 31:47Speaker 2: it's maybe like one in a thousand that this is
- 31:50Speaker 2: going to happen too. But I can tell you it
- 31:51Speaker 2: happened to two of my healthy female friends in their forties.
- 31:57Speaker 2: And so you know, you just want to do the
- 32:01Speaker 2: right thing and want to be relieved of that burden.
- 32:05Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, Well, you know, like I said, I haven't
- 32:09Speaker 1: spoken with anyone else on this podcast about this topic,
- 32:12Speaker 1: and you're the only person I know who's doing this.
- 32:15Speaker 1: But I'm glad you're doing it. You're obviously someone who's
- 32:22Speaker 1: very compassionate and invested in this in this work, Robin,
- 32:27Speaker 1: How do people get in touch with you and learn
- 32:30Speaker 1: more about this?
- 32:32Speaker 2: Thanks? Yeah, please come and find us and read a
- 32:36Speaker 2: whole lot about us on the Closure dot com. That
- 32:42Speaker 2: is the best way you can find me on LinkedIn,
- 32:46Speaker 2: but checking out our website. We offer a free informational
- 32:49Speaker 2: meeting to talk with you about how and whether we
- 32:53Speaker 2: can be helpful and and then you know, there's also
- 32:57Speaker 2: the option of enrolling and secure this care with such
- 33:02Speaker 2: minimal effort on your part. We know nobody wants to
- 33:04Speaker 2: think about it, but you can do it. For an
- 33:05Speaker 2: hour and a half, you can. You can face this
- 33:08Speaker 2: and and really feel like you and know because ethics
- 33:11Speaker 2: is so important in our field and we all train
- 33:14Speaker 2: so hard and invest so much in doing the right
- 33:17Speaker 2: thing by our patients. Here's here's one more thing, don't
- 33:20Speaker 2: don't forget.
- 33:22Speaker 1: We'll have this linked up here at the show notes
- 33:24Speaker 1: page at the Trauma Papers podcast dot com. Once again,
- 33:26Speaker 1: that's their closure dot com.
- 33:30Speaker 3: Robin, thank you. Love to have you back at later
- 33:33Speaker 3: date talk more. I really appreciate you being here.
- 33:36Speaker 2: Thanks so much. I'd love to tell you. There's so
- 33:38Speaker 2: much people need to know.
- 33:40Speaker 4: Okay, take care, Okay boyd bye e domany Com