Latest / The Missing Secret Podcast / Pivotal Moments Where Your Trajectory Changed – The Lessons Learned (Encore)

Transcript

Pivotal Moments Where Your Trajectory Changed – The Lessons Learned (Encore) · The Missing Secret Podcast

• 0:04
  Kelly Hatfield: We believe life is precious. This is it. We've got one shot at this. It's on us to live life to the fullest to maximize what we've been given and play the game of life at our full potential.
• 0:18
  John Mitchell: Are you living up to your potential? Are you frustrated that despite your best intentions, you just can't seem to make the changes needed to take things to the next level. So you can impact your career relationships and health.
• 0:32
  Kelly Hatfield: If this is hitting home, you're in the right place. Our mission is to open the door to the exceptional life by showing you how to play the game of life at a higher level. So you're playing at your full potential, rather than at a fraction as most people do. We'll share the one thing that once we learned it, our lives were transformed. And once you learn it, watch what happens. Welcome to think it via the podcast. I'm Kelly Hatfield.
• 1:02
  John Mitchell: Hey. And I'm John Michell. So Kelly, let's, let's do something interesting today. Yeah, for something interesting. Always I know, you all know you are. So think about your life, and think about the pivotal moments in your life. And that really changed your, your trajectory and think of in terms of what led to that moment. What was the change, and now from a perspective standpoint, the impact of that, that change, and I'm thinking you do one, I'll do one, and we'll go back and forth. But I think the value to our audience really is, is really understanding how you evolve in your life. And sometimes that that evolution is a function of, of being disgusted with your existing life. And, and what it takes to, you know, get to that moment where things actually change. So with that as a preview, let's launch into it.
• 2:09
  Kelly Hatfield: Okay, sounds good. And what you just said reminds me of like, the people are either either moving away from pain, or towards pleasure. You know, and so this the, did you want to go first with your story? Or do you want me
• 2:23
  John Mitchell: to I'd rather interview you? Okay.
• 2:27
  Kelly Hatfield: Okay, perfect. And I think for me, the story that I will share is about moving away from pain, you know, and at the same time, the outcome is a pleasurable one, although it was a painful, a painful journey. So, for me, I think one of the pivotal moments that stands out, you know, in my adult life, would be my decision to leave a job that I had worked out for nearly 14 years, and start my own business. And really, where I was at in my headspace, was I'd always wanted to be an entrepreneur. I mean, you know that I was in a DECA competition in high school. And, you know, when entrepreneurship and like, I knew I always wanted to be an entrepreneur, but I fell into this great job after school, and just fell in love with it. Well, like many things, we talk about this all the time with being on autopilot. I blinked my eyes and 10 years had gone by, and I wasn't an entrepreneur, you know, and I still talked about, oh, I really want to do this. I you know, and I've shared that story. And some people may have heard this already, but about a mentor of mine, who said, You keep talking about this, you know, like, well, what if you were however, you and I were having the same conversation that we've had 20 times already, three years from now, how would you feel about that? And I said, disappointed. And he said, Well, you better get to get and, you know, if you're going to make a change in your life, you know, and so it was that cold glass of water I needed first of all, that I was saying stuff that I wasn't following up on. And I'd had this dream and everything. And then a couple of pivotal things happened in the actual role itself with the ownership. That was I knew, I was like, I got I had great ideas. I really was excited about growing somebody else's company, at that time, still getting pushed back, you know, and then they made a couple of really poor decisions. And, and so I'm like, I if I'm gonna do this, I've just got to do it. And I've got to jump, you know, so I started the whole research prop process, you know, to make that move and do it, but it was painful. I gave a month notice. These people were like, family, they, you know, I'd been with him for 14 years. I was 22 when I started there was a baby, you know, and you know, and I I've learned some valuable lessons through that process. So first of all, just the pain of of making a change and losing all stability, you know, from a six figure job at the time, which for me was was, I slowly, you know, climbed, climbed the ranks and was six figures to no money I'd been saving. But, you know, it was so that was super scary. And then I got a cold, hard dose of reality in understanding that businesses business, you know, and what I thought were like loyalty, the reason why I stayed was this deep sense of loyalty, I felt to these people, only to find that that really wasn't returned. You know what I mean, it wasn't straight. Exactly. I got some life lessons as far as that was concerned. You know, and I think, the best decision of my life, you know, but there's something that's interesting that happens when you make a major change like that, even though like, I made the move away from pain, because I could do the job in my sleep, I wasn't challenged, I was so disappointed in myself that I wasn't living up to the expectations I had for myself for making the impact I wanted to make. So that was a painful place for me. But then something really interesting happened that I wasn't expecting, which was when I made that move from being a W two employee, to being a business owner. And sitting in my own office, like literally after doing the exit interview, I now I'm sitting in office space that I leased that afternoon, me and my business partner, and looking at each other you know, but you we wrapped so much of our identity up in our profession, in our in our career, and I was the expert, like, I knew how to do everything. And then all of a sudden, I don't know what to do. So this journey for the next three years of business, starting one in the depths of a recession was a painful, was a painful journey. But what was on the other side of it by just having that grit and determination, resilience to keep picking yourself up, dusting yourself off and moving forward. You know, was, I mean the best, it was the best decision I ever made.
• 7:18
  John Mitchell: Right? So So back. When you when you did this, had you been telling yourself that, that I'm going to be an entrepreneur?
• 7:27
  Kelly Hatfield: Yes. Like for years. Yeah, I've been like, I want to own my own business, I want to I love this work. I want to do this for myself or something, but I want to work for myself, right? And be an entrepreneur,
• 7:41
  John Mitchell: so So did you feel like you weren't doing what you were, say, saying you were gonna do
• 7:46
  Kelly Hatfield: 100% I felt like I was letting myself down. But I wasn't keeping my word. I kept saying I was gonna do this. And that's why again, that whole glass of water from that mentor, which was like, we keep talking about this, and you're not doing anything, you know, and that called out to me, too, and said out loud and reflected back to me felt awful. Yeah, you know, not congruent with who I am as a person, you know what I mean? So I was totally out of congruence, and, and aligned and out of alignment.
• 8:16
  John Mitchell: You know, that's a, that's an interesting thing, in that an outsider had to smack you upside the head, basically, you know, and I think that's, that's how change happens is either reality slaps you upside your head, or a person does. And that's, that's powerful, because you're so into your own head, that, that you can't see the forest for the trees sometimes, when they
• 8:44
  Kelly Hatfield: when we talk about the subconscious all of the time, and our autopilot. And our and that's why I said literally, if 10 years went by, like a blink of an eye, you get into that onto that treadmill. And, you know, all of a sudden, it's like, oh, another weeks gone by six months have gone by, and here I am. And you know, at that time, I'm 32 I think, and I'm like, All right, the clock is ticking, you know, so so that that was a major pivotal point for me. How about you?
• 9:13
  John Mitchell: You know, I, I'll tell I'll tell basically this story when I became an entrepreneur, too. I you know, as is, as I may have mentioned, I started out as a CPA and, and by the time I was like, 27 or 28 Well, I didn't want to be an accountant all my life and but it was a good, good background. And so I remember getting hooked up with these, these three guys that were sold tax shelters to CPAs. And they were they were players. You know, they were they were true salesmen but they and they were in their 40s and 50s. And, and ultimately, I go to them and tell them hey, you know, I don't want to be a CPA anymore. Uh, in an hour, I, I knew that I had to be an entrepreneur to really have control of my life, didn't know what that exactly look like, but I knew Stan as a CPA was going to be the path. So I evolved to telling him, you know, let's let me come work for you, because you're looking at all sorts of tax deals, and you need somebody that can tell you whether they will fly from the tax code standpoint, and whether they will fly economically, again, by these guys are, there are our salesmen and polish salesmen. And so they said, Sure, come come work for us. You can office with us, we'll pay you what you're making as a CPA, which is like, you know, literally 30,000 a year at the time, which shows you how long ago this was. And, and so I, I do that, and don't know where it's going and, and, you know, I can sort of do my own thing on the side, whatever that might be. And to make a long story short, I find a deal on my own, not through their sources. And I show it to them, they say, Boy, this would be great. We could sell the heck out of this, it was a real estate development deal around a tax shelter, building, basically apartments. And they go, Well, you know, boy, we could sell this, but we're not developers. And so I'm like, Well, how tough could it be, you know, you find the land, find the Arctic, find the builder, and make a long story short, I put it together. And then right before it was about to, to launch, I get fired. And, and because I didn't bring any financial strength to the equation. Of course, all this was done on a handshake. Because I didn't have the, the, you know, sometimes deals are just done on a handshake, because that's how it is like, you try to have to trust people. And into that inning, it ended up that they they screwed me. And after I pounded around for literally three days, on the third day, I get out and like, go screw them, I'll do it again. And truly, by the grace of God, I was able to do it again and create my own deal. And that launched me for the rest of my life as an entrepreneur. And, you know, I look at what's so what's the takeaway from that? First of all, like, like, you, you know, you think everybody has the same sort of ethics and, and, and sense of right and wrong, that that you do, and, and they don't. And that's just the cold, hard world. And I look back now, and I'm like, boy, best thing that ever happened to me, you know, best saying that they screwed me because, you know, I, I picked myself up and dusted myself off. And even in my visualization today, I think about it every day. Because I exhibited three characteristics at that point, because of that happening. I was courageous to, to embrace being an entrepreneur. I was ambitious, wanting, wanting more. And I was resilient, to pick myself back up and that experience of, of getting essentially fired. And, and all that best thing that ever could have happened to me my life. You know, from that point on, I was always an entrepreneur, never never went back being an employee. And I'm so thankful for that, even though at the time it was pretty much of a nightmare.
• 14:03
  Kelly Hatfield: No, and I love to, you know, like you Okay, so there were some things that you learned, by going through that experience, just as I did, either, whether it's about people, whether or not everything is fair, whether it's, you know, that you as a result of going through that. There's a tremendous, there's lessons around every corner and what you went through, you know, about yourself, about other people about how maybe you will treat other people and go into deals because I know, one of your, you know, pieces in your visualization is that you will always be fair, and do the right thing. You know, and I think you've become a better business person and, you know, human as a result of having interactions with people like that, or going through some of those things were like, Okay, I just was, I just saw an example of how I'm not going to show up, you know, in the world, you know, that's exact opposite of how I'm going to do business or whatever the case may Be?
• 15:01
  John Mitchell: Yeah, you know, I tell you, this may be a man thing. But every once awhile I threw all out the years, I'm like, you know, I drive down to Dallas and just kick their ass, kick their friggin ass. But I'm like, you know, wait a minute, they did me the greatest favor ever. Right? But they still disrespected me. So they carve out the time to go kick their butt. So, so tell another on you.
• 15:29
  Kelly Hatfield: I think the next one that just comes to mind, you know, that guy, there's so many things along the way. But I when I think of pivotal, something that was really life changing, and I'll stay along this idea of, of entrepreneurship, but it was with you and I need him. Yeah, it was with doing having you as a guest on the podcast, and learning and understanding more about the subconscious how it works. I mean, I've talked about this so many times, where it was just such a relief, I was like, oh, you know, now I get why, you know, I keep kind of hitting my head up against a wall or a ceiling, you know, with and not being able to move beyond it. And so, you know, backing up where I was at, in that point in my life was that I built a successful business, you know, eight figures from a revenue standpoint. But we just kept my business partner and I kept having the same problems, same issues with with leadership with team size, with just not being able to reach that next level within the business. And so I was frustrated, you know, I knew that what got us to where we were working wasn't going to be the same things that got us to the next level. And then I was going to need new tools, I was going to need new knowledge. And it was going to it was going to take something different, obviously than then what we had been doing. And, and then, you know, so I started that journey of okay, well, I'll do the podcast for a few different reasons, you know, it had a business, you know, to bring in leads, but it also was selfish in the respect that I got to interview brilliant people, John, who, you know, where I could learn, you know, and learn from people who blazed the path before me, or who'd been through or who are, are where I want to be and pick their brains. And so that's when you and I met, and I learned that technique. And life just got easier. I know what I mean, and better and less stressful and more focused. And, you know, I just started making real leaps in games, personally and professionally. You know, so and it did more than I ever thought it would, you know, I was initially like, Okay, I'm going to break through to the next level in my business. And I was really focused on netting a million and, you know, but what happened on the path to getting there, and who I have become and becoming still evolving, as a result of that is, I mean, was just super pivotal for me. And so for me, that wasn't, there was pain associated there. But we were in good shape, I was making a really great living. And for me, that was moving toward pleasure. But also I was at another pivotal point in my life where I felt like I was disappoint. I was letting myself down. Because I knew I had more gas in the tank. I knew I could make a bigger impact. And I wasn't doing it. I was I got comfortable again. And so it was that next tool that I needed in my arsenal to get to that next phase. Does that make sense?
• 18:53
  John Mitchell: Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, I suspect that part of it was because you had an immense sense of control over your life in a way that you hadn't had before. Right.
• 19:05
  Kelly Hatfield: Yeah. I mean, that was definitely one of the pieces for sure. And that immense sense of control. I think one of the things that I didn't expect, because I was frazzled. You know, I again, working harder, and then but, but the profit was the same, you know, revenue was going up, profit was staying the same and like, What the hell is going on here? I'm exhausted, I'm sacrificing all the that these other areas of my life, you know, and so
• 19:34
  Unknown: I, so, the
• 19:37
  Kelly Hatfield: gaining control and then also, as a result of that, reducing stress, which you don't realize the degree to how much energy being stressed takes up. I mean, no
• 19:50
  John Mitchell: stress is pure control. Exactly. The feeling of lack of control.
• 19:54
  Kelly Hatfield: Exactly. So so yeah. 100% would agree that the you know, gaining control over my life to a level beyond what I ever experienced before, like, I didn't even know that that level of control existed. You know, I'm and I'm in control, you know, I like to control things.
• 20:10
  John Mitchell: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I noticed I'm like, Oh wow, this
• 20:13
  Kelly Hatfield: is like I'm superpower.
• 20:16
  John Mitchell: Right, right. I know. Well, you know that that is on my head that reminds me of, you know, when I was 50 and, and being dissatisfied with 20 years of making low six figures a year and, and then, you know, deciding, I look back and I see how the pure power this to find the top book in the world on success and apply that book literally word for word my life, which is thinking Grow Rich read by 100 million people. And you know, I didn't anticipate that when I was gonna do this, that it would say there's a secret to success, but he's only gonna give you half that secret. And, and you know, so I, you know mope around for a little while and, and just then man up and, and immerse myself in the book, read it 20 times, probably over two months. And, and, and create this 12 minute day technique. And, you know, now I look at it. And I'm like, This is so friggin simple. And I always, you know, throughout my life always saw it, there has got to be a success formula, that if you just do this, it'll work. And you'll be successful. And I knew it had to be simple. I just intuitively knew it had to be simple. And I also saw that, where would be the most likely place to find it? Well, maybe a book that is the top of the world on success by a factor of 10. You know, the, the law of large numbers tells you there's something there. And, and so once I figured it out, and then I'm like, I step back now, and I go, of course, it's simple. So you create this immense clarity about your life, you know exactly the person, you want to be exactly what you want to accomplish, and precisely going to how you're going to achieve your clearly defined goals. So you take that clarity, you feed it to yourself every day, of course, it impacts your daily actions. And then those enhanced improved daily actions creates the life you want. Like, wow, this thing doesn't get any simpler. And, and and I'm, I'm always amazed at people. What are you not getting here? You know, but but that's people. Yeah. And, and so I'm good. If you don't, if you don't get it, that's fine. But if you do get it great.
• 22:47
  Unknown: Yeah, there's just there's a better way. For sure. Right. Brian, my gosh,
• 22:52
  John Mitchell: and I, you know, I'm so blown away about how it impacts my marriage and my, my health as well as my career and, and, you know, like, like you, you know, I started you know, making, you know, multiple millions. And, and that was great. And but I saw the, the just being able to play the game of life at a higher level. And at my full potential. Boy, that was the joy and is the joy for me. And but I see again, you know, the, the wisdom for both of you may had to come from somebody else, you know, I had to give it to you, and thinking Grow Rich had to give it to me. You know, and I think that's the lesson for our our audience today is, is figure out whatever the challenge is in your life that you want to go to the next level at, and then go find somebody else to help you do it. Because you can't do it. If you could do it. You'd already have done. Absolutely. So So you know, it's got to come from an outsider's perspective. And so I think that's the lesson for the day, right?
• 24:15
  Unknown: I love it. No, I
• 24:16
  Kelly Hatfield: think absolutely seek out, you know, those mentors seek out that knowledge, you know, somebody who's been where you want to go, you know, you talk to the most successful people in any field or in any lot in life. And that's exactly what they've done. They didn't do it alone. They talked to people who blazed the path before them and there's no need to reinvent the wheel. There's people who've done it, you know, you can make it better by but that's the lesson here is seek that knowledge out and, and there is a better way, a better way.
• 24:50
  Unknown: Right. So,
• 24:51
  John Mitchell: you know, maybe maybe we'll we'll do another episode on this. I you know, one of the things I would talk about is, is deciding to get a I'm married to the ginge that was, you know a big, a big thing. Maybe also how I found the reverse mortgage business, which was really guy just looking down on me and going, I'm going to help this poor slob. He's having trouble. I don't know you think about a couple more on your end. We'll do it. Maybe next. Next episode. Sounds good. We'll do look okay. Okay, until next time, we'll see you.
• 25:32
  Kelly Hatfield: Thanks for listening today. If you've had your own aha moment from today's episode, send me or John an email. We'd love to share your epiphany with our audience. So email us at Kelly@thinkitbeit.com or John@thinkitbeit.com. In the meantime, live the exceptional life