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Owlman / Second Skull and Trauma · The Danger Zoo

0:02
Password accepted. Welcome to the Danger Zoo.
0:07
Welcome back everyone to the Danger Zoo.
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The Department of anomalous and non human genetic entities,
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Reconnaissance and zoological occult operations.
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I am Coyote, your game warden, and we are now into the month of
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October. You know, get super spooky in
0:23
here and we're going to be getting super scared by an L man
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who's apparently knows all our deepest fears.
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How are you girls doing? I'm swell, how are you?
0:33
It's alright, hazy. I'm alright, thanks for asking.
0:36
Who remembers what happened in the last episode?
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I remember you dropped me into sewage.
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Whoa, whoa, whoa. I didn't drop you into sewage.
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You fell into sewage. I, I am just the narrator.
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I'm not the God that you all perceive me to be.
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Lies. Dirty lies.
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Alright, so you were in sewage. What else happened?
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Shit. Nobody remembers, OK.
1:03
I don't remember anything too eventful happening after I
1:06
climbed out of the sewer. You did.
1:08
Your shirt exploded when you flex so hard to push open the
1:11
door. I remember that.
1:13
Yeah, that's not very eventful. That happens like every Tuesday.
1:17
Damn, I do like me some Tuesdays.
1:20
Yeah, my my clothing bill every month is outrageous.
1:25
Just be naked. There you go, problem solved.
1:27
I don't want to go back to prison.
1:29
That's fair. Well, you also found a skull.
1:32
You went to the bell tower. You found the little Clapper in
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it was empty, but you didn't put the skull in the Clapper.
1:39
And also for some reason we said you were wearing Jinko jeans and
1:42
they were full of poop from the sewers.
1:45
Oh yeah, I forgot about that. Hazy had an issue with squirrels
1:49
outside, and then Hazy knocked himself unconscious in another
1:52
room that he went into from a bunch of other squirrels.
1:55
So Hazy's kind of down right now.
1:58
Fucking tree rats, man. However, something else is
2:01
happening, gentlemen. Well.
2:08
As you guys are standing there, well, thought as you're standing
2:11
there next to Baby Bird, I'm still in the van and Hazy's
2:14
knocked out radio static comes over everybody's radio.
2:17
Just you hear lightning and I come over the radio and I say,
2:25
guys, I know you probably can't see it, but something's wrong
2:28
with the sky. Oh.
2:30
Lord the sky. The sky above the church.
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You feel a vibrating resonance begin to emanate from the walls
2:38
around you, like the walls themselves are singing.
2:41
You feel gravity pull a little less on you from the Earth, but
2:47
pulling from you from above, like something's above the
2:49
church, and you feel a pulse of energy ripple silently.
2:53
Oh, it's the Rapture. We're good, right?
2:56
Ozzy's calling me home. Jesus.
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Anyways, a violent upward whoosh of air rushes into the church,
3:06
filling it, kind of disorienting everybody, and it flies out.
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As it flies out, it hits the bell tower, and it hits the bell
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and makes the Clapper clunk against it, but it doesn't sound
3:17
right, doesn't sound like a proper bell.
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It just kind of clunk, clunk, clunk.
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And as that's happening, you guys see Baby Bird's body start
3:24
to twist. And that's when Thadi notices
3:27
his eyes have just glazed over and he's risen 5 feet in the
3:31
air. Just air energies crackling all
3:34
around him. Shoot.
3:35
It. Oh, he gets saved in the
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rapture, but I don't. I'm a good Catholic boy.
3:40
He's Jewish. Exactly.
3:42
They were right, I guess. I don't know.
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Yeah, I thought it was the Mormons.
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Definitely not them and. This is definitely not space
3:48
Jesus. As he is in the air, a blinding
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light happens with a deep like a Thunder clap muffled by fabric.
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Light bursts from all around the church inside.
4:00
And I come back over the radio and I'm like, hey, is everyone
4:03
OK now? As you take a look around, you
4:06
see Baby bird is no longer there.
4:08
He's gone and he's he's replaced.
4:12
Replaced. A body lands limp, clothes
4:16
unfamiliar. The breathing is very shallow.
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Silence returns to all of you and you see this gaunt looking
4:25
person who looks like they're barely hanging on the life.
4:28
That's his crotch. And you see that he's just
4:32
laying there, slowly, breathing, and there's a piece of paper in
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his hand. Hazy.
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You're knocked out thoughty. It's all on you.
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I run up, snag the paper and go mine and I start reading the
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paper. Jesus Christ, don't.
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I like how he's guarding his jewels even than like death
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though he's like Nah hey. Man, that's that's just men's
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default. All right, Thadi, go ahead and
4:53
all right, you took it. What are you doing with that
4:55
piece of paper? Also, you didn't even check on
4:57
him. What an asshole.
4:59
I'm reading the fucking paper. Read that paper.
5:05
I never learned to read. I was about to say like, only
5:10
you know what the paper says right now.
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So if you scroll to the right there, that's what's on the
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paper. Read it for all the class
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please. Three who scream now, three who
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sleep in bone and cloth. The church does keep not from
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voice, but guttural toe. Each skull shall ring, each soul
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be known. A hollow bell, a clapper's void.
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By hunger's curse it was destroyed.
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To bind the shade and call it skin.
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The ringing right must first begin.
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Listen close the whale must watch of must match.
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Oops, the shriek you heard when branches scratched.
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Place each crown in trembling brass and pull the rope and let
5:57
it pass. But mine the sound match note
6:00
for note, lest something worse begin to float.
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One wrong chime and all shall see what haunts beyond the
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twisted tree. It's like, that was the Led
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Zeppelin, right? No, I'm just like.
6:17
No, actually, that was my third grade teacher.
6:19
She's pretty hardcore. Are you able to keep that up so
6:22
I can like refer back to it as I'm trying to solve this puzzle
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you've placed before us? Yeah, I'll leave right there.
6:29
There's what? Puzzle.
6:30
No one said anything about a puzzle.
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That's not nice. Rude.
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What are you allowed to big bully?
6:43
So am I? Am I waking up or?
6:45
Make a savings throw because you've whacked, you've knocked
6:48
yourself unconscious, you're not dead.
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But make a make a Constitution role. 15 plus what's the
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Constitution? Oh.
6:57
You're 15, You're up, you, you sit up like the undertaker again
7:02
and you're just like what's? Going on.
7:06
Which one of y'all kicked me? It was it was baby bird.
7:10
Go get them. You're you're in separate rooms,
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you're not talking to each other unless you're on the radio.
7:17
OK I enter the room and say it was baby bird go get them.
7:21
You can't enter the room. It slams shut behind him.
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Remember, it was a bunch of red eyes in the dark that came after
7:26
him and he just panicked. I'm going to go.
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On the radio and be like. I which one of y'all kicked me
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and then left my room? OK, Saudi, what do you want to
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kick in the door? No, no, you're just you're rage
7:39
baiting me. I know you were what I'm
7:41
actually going to do. I'm not doing that.
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What I'm actually going to do. I'm going to go check on our our
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new guest and try to see if he's conscious and cohesive or you
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know what I mean? Why would he be sticky there?
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You go. All right, you check on him.
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Hazy, What are you doing in this trapped room that you're in?
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Am I trapped or can I just like leave said room?
8:04
I mean, the door slammed behind you and then you knocked
8:06
yourself out. Like, what are you doing?
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I don't think you've investigated.
8:09
I think you tried swinging at something and then you bashed
8:12
your face against a rafter. Yeah, I do remember a little bit
8:15
of that. All right, I guess let me
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investigate, do some investigations, see what the
8:20
hell. My surroundings are probably
8:21
dark in here, right? I say over the radio.
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I say hey man, you should investigate for some skulls.
8:29
As he comes over the radio to you, all you hear is skulls.
8:34
Whoa, fucking Meadow. Whose skull?
8:40
Masculine. The squirrels did say they were
8:43
going to make a nest in your skull.
8:44
Sons of bitches. They took over the mics, so I
8:50
guess they're. Chewing through the wires.
8:52
I have pretty good vision in the dark right?
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So I can like look around even without the.
8:57
Yes, now that you've now that you've regained your composure,
9:00
you can look around. You can use your night instinct
9:02
to see in the dark because you have dark vision.
9:06
See. So I just roll.
9:08
Both you give me an investigation rolls on what
9:10
you're doing. 18. 12. Thought of you are touching this
9:16
guy. This guy does not look good.
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He looks about half dead, but you're also looking at his
9:21
clothing and he while they're not super old, these clothes
9:26
aren't really from this time. Do they look cool?
9:30
They sure don't. They sure don't.
9:32
He looks somewhat like a bootlegger from the 1920s.
9:37
Is he like in the 80s like windbreaker outfit?
9:40
Nope, that's not what they looked like in the 1920s when
9:43
they're bootleggers. Hazy what?
9:45
What you see is you don't see the church at all.
9:47
You see this boxed in room and every time you take your eyes
9:52
off 1 wall to look at another wall, the walls look like
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they're closer to you. Even if you look back at that
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wall that you were just looking at, it seems inches closer to
10:02
you. I already don't like any of that
10:04
so I would hate to say panic and run into a wall again, but let's
10:10
see. Let's hit that panic.
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Let's hit that. No, I don't see any like
10:15
entrance or exit or anything. I can like jump in a fucking
10:19
hole in the wall or some bullshit.
10:21
No, there's nothing. Everything seems sealed up.
10:23
That's. All I noticed was that something
10:25
is coming closer to me. You don't even like notice it.
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It's so miniscule and so slow happening that it just.
10:33
You could attribute it to like a trick of the eye.
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You're not even 100% sure it's closing in on you, but you are
10:40
starting to panic. Yeah.
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OK, that's super bad, but like you got to go up and get a
10:47
presentation in front of class and you still haven't gotten rid
10:49
of your boner yet, so that kind of panic.
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If that started to happen to me, I'm saying everybody look at my
10:55
boner while kicking said door. There's a door over there,
10:57
right? And there's that.
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The web spot is starting to show right on the tip because the
11:02
teacher, the teacher was bent over helping the student next to
11:05
you ain't. No shame in my game.
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Kick that door. Right.
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We're going to move on Hazy. You don't see a door thought of
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you see a door on your side, but that's it.
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And you are having trouble communicating OK.
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What I'm going to do, So what I'm going to do is so this
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dude's still breathing, right? Kinda sorta.
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Kinda. He's comatose, though.
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Could I perchance give him one of my adrenaline shots?
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Fucking go for it. Okie, Dokie.
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Oh, it's going great. Like Pulp Fiction.
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While he does that hazy, I'm giving you a scaredy puss roll.
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What's your number for Scaredy Puss?
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I'm at 41. Oh, lucky.
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As your panic starts to build, you remember all the old Kung Fu
11:56
movies you used to watch and the breathing styles of the Japanese
12:00
samurai. So you close your eyes to kind
12:01
of meditate to try and get yourself to calm down.
12:04
Even though there are still red eyes in the shadows you can see
12:07
in the dark. For some reason you just can't
12:09
make out what are the figures hidden in the room.
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Sons of bitches. But you're not you're you're
12:16
calming down a little bit. Thought he'd give me a medical
12:19
check with that adrenaline please.
12:22
Medical OK 16 what did what did was 16 give me.
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You nail this dude in the chest and he just sits up and he's
12:31
like Martha. Hell yeah, don't let.
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Women vote. Now he is freaked out.
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He looks at you in your fancy clothes and he's like, what are
12:40
you doing, Spaceman? I say, hey there old timer, you
12:45
got any shine on you? How do you know about that?
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Don't worry about it, he pulls. Out a flask?
12:53
Give me give me not intimidation.
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What's the other one? Give me a diplomacy check?
13:00
Persuasion. Persuasion, same thing.
13:02
Give me a charisma check. 8. OK, He pulls out the flask and
13:08
he's like, I don't know about you, your skin's a little dark
13:11
for my liking. And he just drinks from this
13:13
flask and he puts it back in his pocket.
13:15
He's like, can't be too careful with folks these days, you know?
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Bro I'm I'm white, you got. You got dark hair and you you
13:23
played rugby, so you got a little bit of a tan to you.
13:26
And this guy kind of a fucking Republican racist, kind of a
13:30
racist. Hey, hey, hey.
13:34
I'm going to Yelp in the other room.
13:35
Hey are y'all drinking in there? You don't know what's going on.
13:39
I don't know. If you want to risk getting
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demonetized and using all this money you're making off of this.
13:44
Of the all of negative money that I make doing this.
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Yeah, OK, so I asked him. I go.
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Hey there, dude. What's up with this paper I
13:56
found in your hand? He tries to snatch it back from
14:00
you. Give me, give me at advantage.
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Give me an athletics check you husband.
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I'm in the face, old and rickety.
14:10
Athletics, you say? Oh yeah, at advantage.
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Yeah, that's a dirty 21. You don't even like have to move
14:21
fast, you just kind of raise your hand up and his old people
14:23
hand just goes and misses. Give it back.
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That's mine. I worked so hard for it.
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Can I do like the classic, like tall bully thing and like, hold
14:37
him at an arm's length and be like, tell me about the paper?
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Tell me about the paper. Give me an intimidation roll.
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Oh, charisma. Yes 8 You just barely beat him
14:51
out. It's just above his fingers and
14:53
he just swings forth. Come on Witty, I need it if we
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don't help. Me put the paper.
15:01
Oh man, if we. Don't find the skulls.
15:03
We can't kill the Owl Man. Oh, I see, I see the skulls.
15:10
Thank you for giving me all the information I think I need.
15:14
Wait, no, that's mine. I my my company.
15:19
The veil. We've been hunting it.
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I got to kill this thing. We've been hunting it for 10
15:23
years, since 1910. Wait, you're worth the veil?
15:28
I mean, I work for the US government.
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Is that bad? That's even worse.
15:34
Oh. Don't.
15:36
Cancel me. See, is that rope we used from
15:43
last episode still around? Sure.
15:47
Yeah, you still have the rope. It's covered in poop though.
15:49
I want. To tie this motherfucker up.
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Oh. You're tying him with the poop
15:52
rope. Hell yeah, I mean.
15:55
Go ahead. It's going to be a success
15:57
because that adrenaline's wearing off.
15:59
The old man's kind of just laying back.
16:00
He's like, I don't even care, do what you want.
16:05
He's he's back to comatose on the ground.
16:08
You can waste time tying him up if you want.
16:11
Oh yeah, I'm tying his ass up. Tie.
16:12
Up that dead man, can I? Can I use my pickaxe to like
16:17
come to the fucking wall? You could do anything with the
16:19
power of Christ, my friend. Give it a shot.
16:21
Let's do it. I'm going to remember which
16:24
direction the main room was. Oh, how many times I've been
16:27
knocked out. I probably wouldn't remember
16:28
what direction. Doesn't matter, just pick that
16:30
wall. Pick that wall, get it because
16:33
it's pickaxe all. Right, So what am I doing
16:38
rolling? Rolling a melee attack for.
16:40
Rolling a melee Fuck me man 9. Not good.
16:46
You you hit the wall with it and it bounces off.
16:52
It doesn't do any damage, but for a second it doesn't look
16:55
like this room you're trapped in.
16:56
It looks like for the IT looked like it was the church, but then
16:59
it's back to the room. But now the wall is moving in
17:02
faster on you. So we're going to do another
17:04
scaredy puss roll, sons. Of bitches.
17:07
Oh no, you start to panic right now.
17:11
So everything you do you're going to do 1 handed because
17:15
your left hand is shaking so bad you can't use it.
17:18
You're going to take two points of scaredy puts damage so yeah.
17:23
And from now on everything you do is 1 handed, which puts a -2
17:29
to anything you do regarding your hands.
17:32
Well, I guess. It's a good thing I had this
17:33
fucking pistol that does just fine with one hand.
17:35
Can I just start blasting in the fucking room because I'm
17:37
panicking? Wait.
17:38
Hold on, hold on, hold on. I don't the old man.
17:41
Go ahead, Daddy. Meanwhile.
17:43
Down don't the old man, I go and try the door.
17:47
While that ping happens, it actually echoes through the rest
17:50
of the church, kind of piquing your interest there thoughty.
17:54
So you you hear a ping behind you and you're like what the
17:56
fuck? OK, I go and try to open the
18:01
door. OK, you walk to the door and
18:05
locked. What are you doing?
18:08
I just keep pulling really hard on the door as a strength chair.
18:13
It's push. It's push. 9.
18:18
Yeah, 90, no luck, panty gobbler.
18:22
You you were sitting there just pulling on this door with a big
18:26
old sign that says PUSH in front of you and it's like it won't
18:28
open. OK, I tried that push.
18:33
Hold on, Hazy, what are you doing now?
18:36
Oh. I'm blasting with that gun.
18:38
I have one shaky hand and 1 pistol so I'm blasting just all.
18:42
Right. Every area.
18:44
How many shots do you want to take, I mean.
18:46
How many shots can I shoot? I'm unloading the clip.
18:51
Jeez Louise. All right, give me.
18:54
Actually, it's your magazine. Magazine, I'm sorry.
18:59
Give me 5D20 decks rolls and give me all the numbers.
19:03
If you shoot me five times, I'm going to crash out.
19:08
So 5 of them, here we go. That's a 5, that's a 16.
19:17
That's a 10. That's a 5 and a 19 sounds.
19:24
Good. Sounds good.
19:25
Give me. How much damage to myself give
19:28
me? 4 damage shots Which?
19:31
Is D8 I think. Well, sorry, that's when you're
19:35
shooting 2 guns, you can't use 1, so it's going to be D4D6D. 6
19:41
And how many of them? 40.
19:44
Fuck. All right, 20 Nice 10.
19:50
There's a guy one and a three. Right on.
19:54
So two of your shots go through the door hitting Thoddy.
19:59
OH. Shit, my bad.
20:01
You hit Thoddy for three points. I'm.
20:03
Really good at shooting people through walls bro that's like my
20:06
specialty. This seems to be a trend.
20:10
Seems to be a trend with you in shooting me.
20:14
The other two hit the door or hit the wall and it kind of
20:18
takes away that illusional again for a split second and then it
20:21
goes back. Wait, how many?
20:23
How many HP did you say I lost? You took three hit points.
20:28
OK, cool. Did I?
20:29
Hear him scream before everything went back did he go
20:35
thought he. Doesn't scream when he gets
20:36
hurt, takes like a fucking man. Yeah, did I hear moan and
20:40
pleasure? You're so.
20:41
Real for that. No, you heard nothing.
20:43
You just heard him go. OK.
20:49
Dottie, you could hear this clearly.
20:51
Hazy. I'll tell you what you hear in a
20:52
second. I come over the radio and I say
20:56
I'm hearing gunshots fired and nobody's putting any reports.
21:00
Dottie, are you good in there? And all Hazy hears is gunshots
21:04
fired. Report Dottie.
21:09
I come over the radio, I just say yeah, everything's fine.
21:13
It's a little bit of clear fruffle.
21:14
I'm clearing it up right now. Hey, you guys.
21:19
I respond. I respond on the radio.
21:20
Cool, cool hazy baby bird. How are you guys doing?
21:23
I. I come over the radio in a
21:25
really shitty impression of Baby Bird.
21:29
Everything's fine. You got to do a Jewish voice for
21:35
baby. Bird, I dropped my shekels.
21:41
Sorry, everything's fine. Oh, well, clearly Baby Bird's
21:48
fine. Wait a minute.
21:51
Baby Bird would never drop his shekels.
21:53
I come running into the church. I know something's amiss.
21:58
I bust through the doors. I see this giant hole in the
22:01
ground, and I just see sewage of butt.
22:04
Yeah. I step back outside.
22:05
All right, hold on. Let me, just let me take a
22:07
moment here. And then I come in, walk around
22:11
the sewage. I see this dead guy.
22:12
I walk up to the dead guy, and I look at thoughty and I point to
22:15
the dead guy. And I'm like, what's up with
22:17
that? Hey, remember how you didn't
22:19
hear from that one guy, Hazy? He's not dead, I promise He's
22:23
alive. He's just tired and sleepy.
22:25
OK, where's Hazy and baby Bird? I'm working on that.
22:31
What do you mean you're working on it, baby, Bird said.
22:34
He dropped his money and I know for a fact he does not drop
22:37
money. That means that means that you
22:42
believed by a shitty impression, yeah.
22:45
I did, but I just knew something was off.
22:47
I was like. And Hazy didn't respond on the
22:49
radio. And if there's anything I know
22:50
about Hazy, he loves the talk. Where is Hazy.
22:54
And he's a gypsy. He would have found that money.
22:56
So he probably knows where that that's a.
22:57
Really good point. That's a really good point that.
23:00
One would I I. Don't I think he's behind this
23:03
door and he and I just got shot and I'm assuming it's him
23:06
because he's the only one that ever shoots me.
23:07
It's not even the veil shoots me.
23:10
That's a, that's a pretty good point there.
23:12
We really got to, we got to work on some range time here, to be
23:15
honest. It's like.
23:16
My tap on the shoulder you know all right we're.
23:19
Going to teamwork this and we're going to strength check this add
23:22
it together and bust the store open Yeah, it's a.
23:24
Push door. By the way, don't ask me how I
23:29
figured that out. I can.
23:30
Read Give me a strength check. Oh shit, a dirty 21.
23:34
Oh good, 'cause I got a nine. Shit do.
23:37
I know anything about what's going on, like I move away from
23:39
said area so I don't get knocked the fuck out again.
23:42
You have. No idea what's going on and you
23:44
were just right there shooting. Awesome.
23:46
So what happens is we both kick the door.
23:49
I got a nine by the way. Thought he kicks that door in
23:52
and it just barely misses you. Problem is I kicked a little
23:56
late and so I kick and I cause three points of damage because I
24:00
just kick hazies directly in the groin.
24:03
Just bow. I was trying to save your life,
24:05
man. I fall on the ground laughing,
24:09
like wheezing, like I'm trying to say stuff but like it's just
24:12
noises coming out of my mouth. Just yeah, exactly like that.
24:19
All right, Hazy you are now calm down.
24:22
You're you're still can't. Use your left arm.
24:25
Yeah, man, you got to kick the nuts.
24:26
Nothing brings you back to reality quicker than a kick in
24:28
the nads for sure. I guess that is true.
24:31
That's pretty sobering. You should thank me.
24:33
To be honest here, this is a pretty thankless yeah I'm
24:37
getting sick or something. But yeah, yeah, you're right,
24:39
you're right. Hey man, in for a penny, in for
24:41
a pound. Yeah, something like that,
24:43
right, I'm. Going in this room?
24:45
What? Kind of nightmares.
24:46
Have y'all fucking seen? I haven't.
24:48
Seen anything? I got shot.
24:51
That was your nightmare getting shot.
24:52
You should probably quit this line of work then.
24:56
I'm. Going to go outside of this room
24:57
where I can like immediately I don't want to be in this room
25:00
anymore and I'm going to go outside and smoke a cigarette.
25:02
Y'all figure it out for a second all.
25:04
Right, hazy heads outside to smoke a cigarette.
25:07
I'm just checking this room out. Yeah, I.
25:08
Guess I go into the room with you.
25:11
Yeah, sure. Come on in.
25:12
Slowly shut the door behind you. I give you a good game.
25:17
They smack on the ass a little, squeeze at the end a little.
25:20
Very good game, reach around. Problem is I was facing 180°,
25:24
the opposite way of what you thought.
25:25
I was right on the P. I mean, I mean, I mean, Oh,
25:30
yeah. Full chimichanga I.
25:35
Pull my flashlight out. I'm looking around, I don't see
25:38
anything in here. This just looks like a storage.
25:40
A big ass storage closet. Well, if.
25:42
We're in a Catholic Church. This is where the priests are
25:45
supposed to get dressed and put on their festiments.
25:48
Yep. I'm going to yell inside then.
25:50
That shit's pretty scary in there, guys.
25:52
I see, I see the knee pillows for the ultra boys over here.
25:56
I can say that because I was an ultra boy.
25:57
I'm leaving this room from PTSD. Hey.
26:00
Who's this old fuck on the floor?
26:02
You. Can't see the old fuck you're
26:04
outside. Oh, too far away.
26:08
Yeah, you're outside. Well, you did walk past them,
26:10
but you, you're outside. You can go to the radio and ask
26:13
us if you want. Oh.
26:14
I got an idea. What's head as you?
26:17
Walk out of the room, I grab you by your collar and it seems like
26:21
I'm mad, right? I'm like grab me by your collar.
26:23
You're like oh shit, what did I do?
26:25
And I just hand you a piece of paper.
26:26
I'm like can you read this please?
26:28
Yep, OK three who scream now, three who sleep in bone and
26:32
cloth. The church does keep not from
26:34
voice but guttural tone. Each skull shall ring, each soul
26:37
be known. A hollow bell, a clapper's void
26:39
by hunger's curse that was destroyed to bind the shade.
26:41
It's called it's skin. The ringing right must first
26:43
begin. Listed close to whale must watch
26:45
shriek you heard with branches scratched.
26:47
Place each crown a trembling bass.
26:48
Deadpool the rope and let it pace or past bass that words but
26:52
mind the sound. A massive note let something
26:54
worse begin to float. One wrong chime and all shall
26:57
see what hunt beyond the twisted tree.
26:58
It's awesome and I dropped the I'm like.
27:02
Well. It oh, did I not tell you guys
27:06
this in the briefing? Tell us what the owl?
27:09
Man does not have a corporeal body.
27:11
You guys have to hit him right to get him to be back into his
27:14
body. And when I say this, you guys
27:16
hear. Hold on.
27:19
Oh, so cute. That is an owl that is humming
27:33
at three different tones. Sweet.
27:36
Did. None of you go to Music class.
27:39
No, I was in like metal shop or wood shop.
27:42
Yeah, I went to music class, but I'm tone deaf.
27:44
I can't tell what it is. That's not me.
27:46
Meta gaming here. I literally cannot tell you
27:49
tones. I am tone deaf for sure but but
27:53
I'm just. Retarded.
27:55
But it does sound like it goes high, low, middle.
28:02
Oh, easy, Yeah. Yeah, I wonder.
28:04
If that has to do with anything. Well, first we need to find
28:07
skulls. I I come over the radio and I
28:09
say hey guys, we need to go find some skulls all.
28:11
Right. Everybody get together, clean
28:13
up, clean up, everybody. Do you share everybody
28:16
everywhere? I guess I'm going to come back
28:18
inside and join the group all. Right, I'll check this table
28:22
here. Let me roll for it real quick.
28:24
I'm just pulling through. I'm like this is just fucking
28:27
gross. This is bone and Al throw up.
28:29
There's I don't see anything here, No.
28:31
Skulls. Any skulls in there?
28:33
I didn't see skulls. I saw a bunch of bones.
28:35
I'm going. To walk around the building, I
28:37
guess. Skulls.
28:38
Or bones. Yes, but no skulls specifically
28:41
other bones. Every bone except that one is
28:43
what I see. OK.
28:45
OK, Hazy. You're going around the outside
28:48
of the church to look for stuff to.
28:50
I mean, I guess the West side of the building.
28:54
All right, you head to the West side.
28:55
West side. All right.
28:57
You see that little pile there? You want to investigate that?
29:00
Fuck. Yeah, dude.
29:02
All right. Do an.
29:02
Investigation roll. I want to go check the last
29:09
pile. 16 OK. A 16.
29:12
As you dig through it, you find a whole bunch of bones, but no
29:16
skull Sons. Of bitches.
29:18
Thought, he said. Are you checking the same pile
29:20
as me, or is this other the other pile in the kitchen?
29:22
The kitchen in the kitchen? All right, go.
29:24
Ahead and roll. Investigation.
29:27
Oh, I have no modifier for investigations, so 19.
29:31
Oh a 19? Fuck yeah.
29:34
You don't say anything. You do see a lot of bones, a lot
29:37
of gross stuff. Something catches your eye for a
29:39
second out the window outside in the trees that you thought might
29:43
be a skull. But nothing in this pile looks
29:46
like a skull, and it's all just other bones you notice.
29:49
Something outside the trees, yeah.
29:52
Over in the trees to the West there, how did?
29:55
I not notice said skull in the trees because you're.
29:59
Busy smoking and looking through this pile.
30:02
I got fucking night vision. And you got a 16, I go.
30:07
Investigate what I thought was a skull.
30:11
OK, so you go through the kitchen, back to the main hall,
30:14
jump over the sewer and I. Grab your hand and I pull you
30:17
with me. Oh.
30:18
No, all right. Both of us got to make luck
30:20
checks real quick. You motherfucker.
30:27
What did you get? 3.
30:30
Yeah I got a Nat 1 so thoughty and I both fall into the sewer
30:33
just but due to my Nat one thought he only gets taken like
30:39
10 feet down. I am flushed.
30:43
I am underground and just floating in this and then the
30:49
album I can hear the owl man speak to me.
30:54
What do you say? No.
30:57
Escape this time, just you and your heartbeat until even that
31:04
forgets you were here. My world isn't so.
31:08
I feel like I'm drowning, right? But water doesn't scare me.
31:12
However, the world starts to shift.
31:14
I'm no longer underwater. I hear a screen door shut as I
31:20
walk inside my house when I was in 6th grade and I set my lunch
31:25
box down on the counter. The sun's coming through the
31:28
window so it's like afternoon time.
31:30
It's starting to go down. I look through my kitchen window
31:34
with my childhood home and there seems to be like a humming
31:39
inside my head and I look out to the zip line where my dog is
31:44
tied up between 2 trees halfway. OK, like.
31:49
A leash. I get it.
31:50
I get it. Yeah.
31:51
There's a it's a zip line that goes in between.
31:54
It's a runner. Runner.
31:55
Yeah. I I think I thought, like, your
31:56
dog was like, tied to a tree. Yeah.
31:59
No, Jesus Christ, no. But stick around.
32:02
What? The fuck?
32:04
Dangling halfway down the line is my dog, Wiley Coyote, my best
32:08
friend. He's just laying there, just
32:11
still twisted. His neck is at a horrible angle.
32:16
I, I feel, I feel weird, right? Like I know something's wrong,
32:19
but I don't know, something's wrong.
32:22
And so I I start to get his dinner ready and I put it in a
32:25
bowl and I get this little burning in the back of my
32:28
throat, like like about to cry but I don't know why.
32:31
I just feel really stressed all of a sudden.
32:34
And I walk outside to my dog to go feed him and I notice his
32:38
neck is twisted really weird. But it's really hard to see him.
32:42
And I realize why because like, my eyes are full of tears, just
32:46
like swelling. I'm just crying.
32:47
I'm bawling like I'm not making any noise and I walk up to my
32:51
dog and I take his food bowl and I push it against him and I'm
32:54
telling him I'm like, eat, eat you stupid dog.
32:58
Eat I I think I know what's happening.
33:02
Aren't the tags of our podcast like comedy anyways?
33:09
I'm sitting there, I mean. My boner's gone and everything,
33:11
dude. I'm.
33:15
Pushing I'm pushing this thing to my dog and all of a sudden my
33:18
dog's head like turns back and looks at me and I immediately
33:21
stop crying and I'm just staring at him and my dog says to me in
33:26
this weird voice that I've never heard my dog talking because my
33:29
dog talks. Why don't?
33:32
You tie me up, buddy. I was waiting for you.
33:38
I thought we were going to play. You should have come home
33:44
sooner. You always think you're helping,
33:52
always fixing, always saving, but you leave things broken,
33:58
Coyote. Even the ones who loved you the
34:03
most. And I'm just freaked the fuck
34:08
out and I'm, I'm paralysed. Like I'm stuck underwater here.
34:13
In reality, I'm still underwater, probably going to
34:16
drown. My vest is like hooked onto part
34:18
of a pipe that's been broken and rusted out.
34:21
So I'm completely submerged underwater and I'm just
34:24
floating, just trying, not not being taken by the current of
34:27
the water. It's just passing me, passing me
34:29
by. Luckily I'm unconscious so my
34:31
throat's locked up so I'm not taking any water.
34:33
But I am having a rough time. Oh Dang it.
34:39
Well. I got to put a trigger warrant
34:41
on this for people, I guess. Oh for the record, this is
34:43
actually how the way my dog died.
34:45
He didn't turn around and talk to me.
34:46
God no. But he did break his neck on a
34:48
runner that. Is awful.
34:52
Yeah, I. Guess I got to go save your ass
34:55
so I dredge down the sewage towards you.
35:01
OK, so you head on down towards me.
35:03
What are we doing now? You said you're underwater,
35:07
right? Yeah, I'm like stuck at the
35:09
bottom of this sewage thing as you're walking.
35:11
You walk up and you actually kind of your foot hits me before
35:14
you even notice I'm stuck underwater.
35:17
OK, I mumbled myself. I don't get fucking paid enough
35:20
for this and I submerged myself in the sewage and tried to
35:23
untangle you from whatever the hell you're stuck on.
35:26
OK, give me an untangling check, whatever the fuck that would be.
35:29
What the fuck? Untangling check probably.
35:32
Decks or something? We think decks I.
35:35
Think. Hold on, I'm looking.
35:36
Probably be acrobatics, right? I mean it could be anything.
35:39
Don't even try to untie me. Just raw strength.
35:41
Yank me the fuck out. That's your biggest thing is
35:43
strength, remember? Who you are?
35:46
Simba well, I. Already rolled my D20 so if if
35:51
it's dex or strength I think I have a good chance, yeah.
35:56
Strength. All right, so with strength as a
35:58
19 and he. Goes to the ceiling.
36:01
OK, he's just fucking slaps my face against the ceiling.
36:05
I actually rolled A6 for a saving throw.
36:07
So that's what happened. You yanked me out of the water,
36:09
but you yanked me so hard I don't return to consciousness.
36:12
I kind of just bash my face against the top of the pipe.
36:16
And I took, I took three points of damage.
36:19
You now have an unconscious boss in your arms.
36:21
Kudos. But I'm, you know, I'm not in.
36:24
I'm breathing. I'm like, am I like Princess
36:28
carrying you? I imagine you were just like
36:32
kind of one arm holding me out. But if you want to, you can, you
36:34
can, Princess carry me, OK. So I'm.
36:36
So I'm Princess carrying you. Nice.
36:39
If this were a movie or TV show, the camera cussed us and sees
36:42
you look at my face. I'm looking at your I'm looking
36:46
at your unconscious face and you can tell there's an inner
36:49
argument going on to my head. I start to lean in towards her
36:54
face. Oh.
36:56
No, and I pull. Back at the last second and a
36:59
single tear rolls down my cheeks before I.
37:04
Before. I make my way back to the hole
37:06
you go. To do all that, but then like
37:09
you almost lose your footing because the water is still
37:11
rushing really hard. You don't have to roll to stay
37:14
where you are, but to try and make your way back up there,
37:17
you're going to have to roll some strength checks to make it
37:19
back. Or maybe reach out to Hazy, see
37:22
if he can come help you. But with you and me, it's going
37:26
to be difficult. Get me back up there unless you
37:28
can get me awake. I radio hazy and I say hey man,
37:35
can you come back to the hole? Whoa, I don't know what y'all
37:38
are up to, but keep me out of it my guy.
37:42
Well, let's. Just say we're both covered in
37:43
shit inside a hole and I need some help.
37:45
What? Do you mean?
37:48
Say, let's say that's the whole story.
37:50
That's it. That is literally what's
37:51
happening. I mean, I guess you guys do need
37:54
a camera guy. All right, let's go.
37:56
I guess I'm going to walk towards said hole back inside.
37:59
All right. You walk back around, you get to
38:01
the hole. Are you jumping down there?
38:02
You got to lower that. No, I'm not going down there.
38:05
It smells like shit Smells. Like shit in the church.
38:08
I don't know how you know. I don't know if you know how
38:10
fumes work, but it is fill in the church.
38:12
I'm going to dangle the old man by the ankles and let him look
38:16
down. Like let him be a ladder.
38:20
Conscious body. Use it as a whole adder.
38:23
Do what you guys got to do. I got his ankles.
38:26
OK, well I got to make my way to you.
38:28
Give me a strength role for the old man, Okey.
38:31
Dokey. Thoughty you give me a strength
38:34
role for moving back. What's a?
38:36
6 Get me Papa. Gets us another 5 feet further
38:41
down the line at. Least we didn't fall.
38:44
I vote a 16 by the way. You're holding this old man
38:48
upside down, unconscious in the water.
38:50
His face, he's just this shit. Waves are just bouncing on his
38:54
head. You'll see him when you get
38:56
there though. I'm doing my part.
38:59
There's a rope up there you can throw down to us.
39:01
Oh no, I hide the. Rope to the old man, remember
39:04
that's. That's one rope.
39:05
Everybody has rope. I.
39:06
Don't have? Oh no.
39:08
Yeah, that's right, you did. So the old rope is on the man.
39:11
Actually, you got a 16 hazy. You actually unfurl that old man
39:16
with the rope. The old man falls into the
39:20
sewage. You're you're still holding on
39:22
to the rope, but that man has come loose.
39:24
Dottie, give me an acrobatics check as he floats towards us.
39:27
I. Want to go to the microphone
39:29
real quick? That hey, heads up.
39:30
Do it with two points added because you got a warning 12
39:36
good enough. You up the old mave taking my
39:40
buddy with you and he just keeps floating down.
39:43
Great, you've killed a man it. Kind of happens every mission.
39:48
It's all right now. Now hazy, you're just holding
39:51
shitty rope with one end and thought he and I are trying to
39:54
make it back. Well, I mean, I don't know about
39:57
this. And I think because you're
39:58
unconscious, you're literally just extra weight.
40:02
There goes my hero I can't make. I keep making saving throws like
40:05
hoping I wake up but I don't. You know what?
40:08
I'm doing it. It's going to be like a Sleeping
40:11
Beauty thing. I'm going to kiss you.
40:14
Do it. Hoping it wakes you up every.
40:17
Time you go to kiss me, you're you lose your footing and you
40:20
can't do it. You're such AI am the.
40:25
God in this world and this will not happen.
40:28
You're. Such a fucking quack GM.
40:30
Dude, let me kiss you now. Just stick your finger in his
40:34
butt hole, all right? Whatever, I'll do another
40:36
strength check and I'll let you do.
40:38
That. Pull along the rope.
40:41
The rope hasn't gotten down to you yet.
40:43
You have to go. The rope is only 25 feet, so you
40:46
need to go see 5 to 50, 2020. You need to go 25 feet to meet
40:51
the rope. OK.
40:52
Well, I just rolled a fifth. Yeah, 15.
40:56
OK, that gets us halfway there. I'm going.
40:58
To hit y'all up on the line. But hey, I hope y'all dodged.
41:01
Dude buddy, I don't know who the hell that was but I got a rope
41:04
over here. Hurry the fuck up.
41:06
I'm working on it, Hazy. Roll for concentration.
41:10
Oh. Concentrating on holding a rope.
41:12
Are you shitting me? Hazy has one hand.
41:15
The other hand. No, No, no, no, no, no.
41:16
No, no, no, no, no, you said. I got my hand back.
41:19
I did not. I said.
41:20
You calm down a little bit. You still don't have your hand
41:22
back. You got one hand.
41:25
Mother, I can't believe. You stole that man's hand.
41:27
No. I.
41:27
Didn't. I Didn't know all.
41:28
I didn't. Steal his hand.
41:29
God stole his hand. I didn't.
41:31
Even know all that but I fuck me 6.
41:35
Good luck everybody else. I emerge now.
41:38
Good luck everyone else hazy. Goes to try and talk in the
41:43
radio and he just like fumbles it because he's using his shitty
41:45
hand. He's like radio.
41:48
His other hand's holding the rope.
41:49
He's fine. Sorry, what are you doing?
41:52
Another strength check. Do it, baby. 14.
41:57
All right, you get there. Both of you give me a strength
41:59
check right now. That's not looking good for you.
42:03
Oh, don't even worry about it. Don't even worry about it.
42:05
Fuck that. I pop up and like I sit up and
42:08
I'm like don't, don't kiss me, get out of me and I freak out
42:11
and I grabbed thottie and I just start running through this shit.
42:15
I I am panicked and I just run through here and I Superman poof
42:19
and I actually head butt hazy right in the nuts as I'm trying
42:22
to jump out of the sewer taking thottie with me.
42:24
I rolled a Nat 20 baby. So I'll just take more damage by
42:28
nut damage from you. You take.
42:31
Yeah, you do. You take one point of nut
42:33
damage, son of A. Bitch all nut.
42:35
Damage we we need a separate counter for nut damage.
42:39
They shifted. Straight up.
42:40
Groin shots What's your? HP like my NHP or my regular HP?
42:47
There's a huge difference. Huge.
42:49
Difference it gets kind of along with scary points that's.
42:51
Generational, the other one. All right, we're all back up
42:55
here and I'm like, Jesus Christ, what is fucking happening here?
42:58
What happened to me? What's going on?
43:02
I know what. Happened to me, mother fucker.
43:04
I like my face gets all like rosy red and I'm like nothing
43:07
and I like twisted my foot like this school girl.
43:10
Shit, I just look at everyone. Why am I covered in shit and why
43:14
am I missing my dog so much? No reason.
43:21
Oh, OK, I go over here and I go to rub my face on the owl, throw
43:27
up stuff to like clean the shit off me because.
43:30
That's cleaner. Go outside with the grass dude.
43:33
Like at least this. Shit's dry man.
43:35
Like there's, there's cloth in here.
43:37
This was once a human who had clothing now didn't digest the
43:41
clothing so I'm wiping it off and a bunch of skulls fall down.
43:45
A. Bunch of bunch of bones fall out
43:48
of this one. They didn't.
43:49
Go back in the duty hall, did it?
43:50
Wait. A minute.
43:52
Do I have to reinvestigate that pile?
43:57
Do you manage your world? You do what you want besides
43:59
kiss me. I'm going to go reinvestigate
44:03
that pile. Investigate that pile.
44:06
Investigation roll I'm. Trying to remember where.
44:09
Oh, there it is, 4. Looks like a bunch of bones and
44:17
no skull in here. You know what, let me let me get
44:20
it a look. Give her a gander, friendo.
44:26
We're meta gaming so hard, right?
44:30
Now, oh, eighteen. I don't know.
44:32
If you are, hey, Zay finds a skull.
44:34
Yay, I snatched it. I have a stand and put it in my
44:37
jinko jeans with the other one. Give me a sleight.
44:39
Of hand. Oh, he's stealing.
44:43
I don't need to not doing. Jesus Christ, before Hayes even
44:48
puts his hand on it thought he just goes, no, it just falls
44:50
over. This just happens to fall in his
44:53
pocket. So now you have a skull that's
44:56
got a ribbon staple to the skull.
44:59
Jesus, it's terrible. Why would there be a ribbon
45:01
staple I now have? Two skulls in my jinku.
45:05
Are you, are you telling us that or are you just bragging to the
45:08
listeners? I definitely.
45:09
Remember holding a skull just now, Booth?
45:12
All right, then you can fight him for it if you want.
45:14
No, now I'm going. To shoot him, I'm just gonna
45:17
fight. I'll shoot what what are.
45:20
We doing this all right? I'm walking outside.
45:22
You guys fight if you want. Yeah.
45:24
Yeah, wait, wait. Yeah, there.
45:25
You said there's a stall on the tree line.
45:26
I follow you outside. Being an eager puppy, you got.
45:29
To fight Hazy. Hazy wants to fight you for some
45:31
reason. He can fight me outside.
45:34
How about that? I'm going to quickly.
45:38
I'm going to. Quickly calm down by the time.
45:40
I get out there and just pull out a secret.
45:42
So what are we doing all right? You, you smoke, but I'm going to
45:45
stand next to you. Daddy, what are you doing?
45:47
I got. To go investigate the trees.
45:49
So investigate them trees to the West of the church.
45:53
Yeah, you said there was a skull over here.
45:55
If you want me to look I only got night vision and shit 16.
45:59
He does have night vision. Yeah, Man, it looks like some
46:02
fucking trees over here. You don't see much.
46:03
It's dark, but I. Swear I saw a skull through the
46:07
window. Yeah, you thought you did, but
46:09
it's dark out here. Hey, it's got night vision
46:11
though. I'm going to go feel dressed my
46:14
cigarette and walk over there. Wait, wait, wait.
46:16
Wait, I got an idea. He.
46:17
Said he hasn't even said it. He hasn't even said anything to
46:19
you yet. I got an.
46:20
Idea. I got an idea.
46:22
Uh huh. I'm going to cast Fists of
46:25
sight. And.
46:27
Punch a tree. Do it.
46:29
It's a hot. 15 How do I do it? You punch a tree and a bunch of
46:34
acorns just fall and hit you in the head like they were set up
46:37
by a trap by like 1000 squirrels, and you take one
46:41
point of damage. Yeah.
46:42
I'm I'm good OK, but. Did I see anything with my fist
46:46
echolocation? You saw a bunch of nuts coming
46:48
out of your face. That's about it, boy.
46:51
I walked back to you guys looking defeated and I see under
46:54
my breath and it's like I can't believe baby bird left us with
46:57
this thermal goggles. OK, you come around here and you
47:00
tell us that, and I'm like, hey, he's got night vision.
47:03
Yeah, go take a look, OK? I.
47:05
Mean, I like being told what to do.
47:07
Let's go that way, hey? Hazer going to take a look.
47:09
I'm going to go with him. I'm going to add a little, I
47:11
mean I. Was just over here, but yeah, my
47:13
guy, I'll keep looking. Yeah, you.
47:15
Weren't running looking in the woods?
47:16
What are you not that into the woods?
47:19
I I'm more than look in the woods.
47:22
I'm going to add my 4 of perception or 6 of perception
47:25
Jesus. So 6 the win.
47:27
We're going to find that score. Wait, how?
47:30
What is your perception modifier?
47:32
Who mine? I'm looking hold on mine's. 2.
47:37
Mine's A2I rolled a 40. Oh, that's why you said six.
47:41
I thought you said that your modifier was a six.
47:43
And I was about to be like, what the fuck?
47:45
Why are you in the man all the time?
47:46
I rolled a. 17, I got 19. OK, as you're looking, you see
47:52
where a bunch of nuts fell. There just happens to be a skull
47:55
in the tree. What?
47:57
Oh. My God, real quick and put it in
48:01
my like just pants in the front, like a uh, like a uh, it's up in
48:05
the. Oh.
48:06
Shit, it's. In the It's in the tree.
48:08
Give me an athletics check. See if you can jump here.
48:10
No, I want. To shoot.
48:11
It don't fucking shoot it. Damn it.
48:13
All right. I mean, you can, I guess.
48:16
That sounds like a terrible idea, y'all.
48:18
Yelling at me and everything. So I guess athletics let's go 0
48:22
strength it's. Better.
48:25
Than shoot again. Fucking. 9 How'd that go for me?
48:28
Oh, great, you jumped up and you barely touched it, but I look
48:30
over and I see you doing something.
48:32
I'm like, what are you doing? Minding my own business.
48:35
Don't worry about how I can jump.
48:37
All right, fine. Fine, all right.
48:39
I head back towards the front. Fuck you, I'm.
48:41
Going to pull out my gun. Go.
48:43
For it. Let's do it.
48:44
Oh, this dude's about to soft lock this mission?
48:46
Let's do. It.
48:48
So what do I got to do? What do I roll?
48:50
You shoot it like you're attacking it.
48:52
Is that AD 20? I'm at your decks.
48:56
Oh, that's true. Also 15 you.
48:59
Got a 15 roll damage. Let's hope Lord right?
49:04
Is it still one handed? Oh wait, you got a 15, so it was
49:09
a 2, so you technically 13. OK, that's fine.
49:12
Yeah, no, your damage is going to be AD six.
49:15
Oh shit. Good luck.
49:21
It's a six. Six points of damage, you hit
49:25
that thing and you just split it completely in half and it falls
49:29
to the ground. Now we have 2 halves of a skull.
49:33
Oh my book, both sides of them in both my pockets.
49:37
Because I'm a cool kid too. All right, we have 3 skulls now.
49:41
That wraps it up for today. We have, sorry, I take that
49:45
back. We have two full skulls and and
49:48
one halves of two halves of one whole skull.
49:51
And that's where we're going to quit today, and we'll finish
49:54
this the week before Halloween. So yeah, come back and see
49:57
instead. Hope you guys enjoy it.
49:58
Happy Halloween everybody happy. Halloween.
50:06
I love those ghosts. All right, well, we're going to
50:09
figure out how to fix that next episode.
50:11
That's half the fun, right? You gave me voices inside the
50:17
bell. The next toll calls your flesh
50:21
as well. Transmission lost.
50:25
Teen status unknown.