Latest / You Minding Your Own Business / Episode 31- Should You Base Who You Are Based On You Or What Others Think Of You_

Transcript

Episode 31- Should You Base Who You Are Based On You Or What Others Think Of You_ · You Minding Your Own Business

• 0:46
  Speaker 1: Hello, Hello, Hello everybody. Welcome to you minding your Own business,
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: the old you verus the new You and with self
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: respect lead to the love of self. I'm your host
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: Scott as Asha Mary I'm a thank you guys for
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: joining me for this episode. If you guys like the
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: comments here and want to hear more, please go to
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: spriaker dot com forward slash you minding your own business
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: with self respect leadst some self love and the old
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: U versus the New You. If you want to hear
• 1:17
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• 1:20
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• 1:23
  Speaker 1: name A S A J M A R I A
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: M A and you will see all my podcasts if
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: you want to see them other platforms, It's iHeartRadio, Google, Amazon,
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• 1:42
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• 1:46
  Speaker 1: my channel, or you want to send me the letters
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: for any of my podcasts, things you're going through that
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: you want help when it comes healing and recovery, you
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: can email me. If you want to be a guest
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: on my podcast, you can also email me or if
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: there's a particular topic that you want need to talk about.
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: You can email me at a s h A dot
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: M A r I A M A zero one at
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: gmail dot com. This's a s h A dot M
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: A r I A M A zero one at gmail
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: dot com. A little bit about me. I am a
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: certified recovery healing and recovery coach. I am also a
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: mental health practitioner as well as well, and also well
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: being coach as well. And I'm all about helping people
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: in their past and their journeys to a new em
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: better you through self discovery. I help people in multiple
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: facets of healing and recovery, whether it's spiritual, mental, psychological, emotional, physical,
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: as far as internal and external when it comes to
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: your financial, family recovery, your self esteem, self work and
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: self value, self respect, self confidence, you believe it in
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: yourself even when nobody else does so. I help you
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: in multiple facets when it comes to healing and recovery. Now,
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: this is a three part episode because I'll be doing
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: this on all three D's podcasts and all three D's
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: will be posted there now. Today's topic is should you
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: base who you are on yourself? And how you feel
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: and how you see and think about yourself or should
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: you base yourself on what other people say and think
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: about you? Now, it's gon hit on a little bit,
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: because this is gonna hit all three. Now. The reason
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: that's gonna hit you mind in your own business is
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: because you're gonna have to learn how to maintain a
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: high self esteem, self work, self value, self respect. You
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: believe in yourself even when no one else does. And
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: you're gonna have to do it based on being able
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: to believe in yourself no matter what. And I know
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: that ain't easy, because it ain't. It's not easy. Believing
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: in yourself even when no one else does. It is hard.
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: I'm not gonna sit up here and lie to you
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: and say that it's not easy. It is. It's not
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: easy at all. When you got everybody, Na Mama, making
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: you feel less than what you are, making you feel
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: like you're not good enough, making you feel like you're
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: not worthy, making you feel like you don't belong, it
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: can be very, very difficult. So in the end, like
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: I said, we all have our battles that we have
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: to face. We have battles that we have to deal with.
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: There are battles that we have to go through that
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: we have to fight through and it just isn't easy.
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: So when it comes to self esteem, self worth and
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: self value, and when it comes to also, are you
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: someone that's going to be a Captain sayer ho or
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: build a bear or build a dollar seat? Feel feeling
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: a people pleaser? That matters too? So are you somebody
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: that's gonna be jumping through hoops and make everybody else
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: happy and putting yourself laugh? Are you someone that's gonna
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: put yourself first but at the same time still be
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: there to help people in the same token. So I
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: just want people to understand that when it comes to
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: your self esteem, self worth, and self value, how much
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: you believe in yourself and how much you know you
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: respect your so it will be all based on that. Now,
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: also when it comes to your health and willness, those
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: are things that are very important. So your health and
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: wellness is also based upon that. So if you really
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: care about yourself and you really love yourself, and you
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: will definitely make sure that you think about it from
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: that aspect. Now, what makes this kind of a little
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: bit difficult is when you have people that are telling
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: you every day that you're not good enough, telling you
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: you're not worthy, telling you you don't belong, and telling
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: you that you're not deserving. Now, first of all, for
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: those of y'all on my that's coming in on my
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: pod on my actual YouTube channel and Facebook channel, I
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: just want to first say welcome, and I'm very glad
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: to have you guys. So we're going to add y'all
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: to the mix as well. Now, if you want to
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: hear this whole entire podcast, I will post it. The
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: whole podcast will actually post, so you'll get to hear
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: the whole entire thing. So welcome to my chum. Now,
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: when it comes down to how you see yourself when
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: you're younger, like when you're a kid up into probably
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: the age of probably I say, twenty five, you're going
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: to be basing yourself on other people, at least when
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: you're little, up until you get about a teenager. And
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: even as teenagers, we still base ourselves on what other
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: people think and how other people see us. And that's
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: only because the fact of the matter that we are
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: basing ourselves on what other people think, because that's what
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: we've been taught that it's all about how other people
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: see us, It's about how other people think, about us.
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: So let me give you an example. You might be
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: interested in somebody, right, and the problem is that person
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: may may not be interested in you. So you may
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: be thinking, I like this person and I want to
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: date this person, and that's just based off attraction. Are
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: many other different reasons, and the problem is that person
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: may not be interested in you because you may not
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: be society standards of attraction, and you might be very disappointed.
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: You might think something's wrong with you. Or you might
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: be in a relationship with friends and all of a sudden,
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: they stopped being friends with you, and you don't know why.
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: You don't know what you did. You thought you did
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: everything right. You were there for them, you supported them,
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: you had their back. But yet still these people basically
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: essentially are people that were only around you for the
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: wrong reasons. They were not around you for the right reasons.
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: So even though you didn't do anything wrong, you still
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: got cheated on, You still got bullied, harassed, threatening stock
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: because you might have been a nerdd You might be
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: somebody that basically essentially it's somebody that's just a target.
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: You might have been essayed and you might not understand
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: how this could have happened. To you. So the one
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: thing about programming is that in the beginning, when somebody
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: is telling you what they think you are or what
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: you should be, you're fighting back and you're saying to yourself, No,
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: that ain't who I am, that's not the person that
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: I am. Why are you telling me that I'm not
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: good enough? Why are you telling me and trying to
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: label me?
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: So in the beginning, you got people labeling you, telling
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: you you're not pretty enough, you're not special enough, you're
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: not valued, you're not wanted.
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: And then on the flip side of that, I will
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: say this, you got people out here who get used
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: taking advantage of because they're silent. And the reason that
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: they're silent is because they were programmed to be silent.
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: Because these people, no matter what, they're just trying to
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: keep the peace. So being the fact they're trying to
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: keep the peace, these are people that always end up
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: getting taken advantage of because of the fact they're trying
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: to be non problematic. But the problem is people are
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: being problematic towards them and not the other way around.
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: So when you are trying to figure out who you
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: are for many years, it's gonna be based on what
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: other people things, and that's just it on that. So
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: even though you may see yourself as beautiful, but that
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: don't mean the world gonna see you that way. It
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: don't mean that people that you're attracted to are gonna
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: see you that way. You may think you're qualified for
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: a specific job and turn around and get disappointed because
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: us the fact that even though you think you're qualified,
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: the problem is they don't think you'll qualified. So I
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: get it, and I understand. So I think it's crazy
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: how we all try to be the best versions of
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: what we think is ourselves, but in all actuality, we're
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: not being who we are. We're being in society's version
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: of who we are, not who we want to be.
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: We're not doing what it is that we want to do.
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: We're doing with everything and everybody else is expecting us
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: to do. We're sitting up here lowering ourselves to build
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: other people up. But yet and still we're still miserable.
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: You're up here giving your body to men that you
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: don't even hear from the next day, they don't even
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: talk to you the next day. You're sitting up here,
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: you know, losing weight just to get married. You're worrying
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: makeup and consuming things that are not good for you,
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: and in the end it ends up turning out bad.
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: So what I want people to understand and get is
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: are you doing this for you or are you doing
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: this for someone else? Because when you're doing it for
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: someone else, it might be good for a little while,
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: but it doesn't mean it's gonna be good forever. So
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: just because right now at the moment, things are going well,
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: it don't mean that later on down the line that
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: is gonna it's gonna go well. So what I want
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: people to understand is when it comes down to these
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: situations and the fact of what your self esteem is
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: based on, I would say nine to nine point nine
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: percent of it is based on what other people think,
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: not based on you. Because if you love yourself, you
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: should be able to come as you are. You should
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: be able to look like what you really look like
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: and not have to wear makeup and not have to
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: go get plastic surgery, not you have to go get liposuction,
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: fake hair, fake nails. If it was about who you
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: truly are, for a man, he wouldn't have to have
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: all this money, be successful and be good in bed
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: and be attractive in order for somebody to notice him.
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: But see, for a woman, it's just about attraction. It's
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: not even about money, because even if a woman has
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: a lot of money, it doesn't mean that that man
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: is gonna be attracted to you. So again, you know,
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: it's just one of those things where you have to
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: learn that you can't base yourself on what everybody else
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: got going on. Okay, So even though people may say
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: you're ugly, they may say you're fat, they may say
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: a lot of things, but at the end of the day,
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: you the one that got determined what your self esteem is.
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: You're the one that's got to say to yourself. You
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: know what, I don't care if you don't like me.
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: I don't care that you're attracted to me. Don't even
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: bother me at this point, because you're not my person.
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: You're not the person that's for me anyway, because the
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: minute you said something negative, you've just made yourself not
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: my person. So even though I'm attracted to you, even
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: though I like you, you're still not my person. You're
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: not the person for me. So in the end, I'm
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: gonna walk away from you. So you shouldn't let somebody
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: make you feel bad. Because you're not society standard of
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: beauty or society standard or whatever. You shouldn't have to
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: even go there. In the end of all of it,
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: once you realize that, it's gonna be very easy for
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: you to not try to chase after things. After a while,
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: you're gonna realize that when you look at somebody's social
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: media and you see the type of women that they date,
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: you're not even gonna waste your time on these people.
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: So really it goes from you chasing people, trying to
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: be captain, save a hole, build of bears, build the dolls,
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: people pleasers, and seat fillers. You going from that to
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: you basically saying to yourself, I'm just not interested. If
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: you've ever seen the movie, he's just not into you.
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: And if you've ever seen that, you have women that
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: go after men that not only are unavailable, but these
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: men will never be attracted to you. And yet they
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: will use take advantage of manipulate, bamboozle, and lead you astray.
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: They will suck the life out of you like a
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: vampire and leave you for this. So what I want
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: people to understand is when it comes down to the
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: facts of the matter of being that people pleaser, Captain
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: saber Hoole, build a bear, build a doll, and being
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: a people a seat filler. That's not what you want
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: to be. A lot of y'all are jumping through hoops
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: and now sitting in jail. You're sitting up here unhealthy
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: because now you've taken drugs, alcohol, Now you're eating unhealthy foods.
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: You're sitting up here going through depression because you went
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: after people that never wanted you in the first place,
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: and now you're miserable. So, like I said, I get it,
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: I understand, trust me, I do. But what I want
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: you to understand is when you're sitting up here chasing
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: after people, and you're chasing after people who you think
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: are people that you should be dealing with, it's time
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: to let it go. It's like today it's againtibiotic, and
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: I think it's gonna be the last thing I'm taking it.
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: But I just want people to understand that when you
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: are living your life, it comes a time where it
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: shouldn't be based on everybody else. It should be based
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: on you. The only time it should be based on
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: other people when they are buying your product or when
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: you're working for someone else. Then that's something different. But personally,
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: it shouldn't be based on that. It shouldn't even matter
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: personally whether people like you or not. The people that
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: like you, you're not gonna have to go through all these
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: hoops and bounds to be with them, and as a
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: matter of fact, you're not gonna meet them based upon that.
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: You're gonna meet this person and they don't want nothing
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: from you. All they're doing is having a conversation. That's
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: the only thing they want is just a conversation, nothing more.
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: They don't want to date you, they don't want nothing.
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: They just want to get to know you. That's it.
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: That's all. So your self esteem, yeah, for a while
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: it will be based on other people. But like I said,
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: once you get away from the camera, once you get
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: away from social media, once you get away from whatever
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: you're doing. After that, it don't matter because personally, if
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: these people are not around you, then they can't tell
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: you that you're not good enough, that you're not worthy.
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: Nobody can tell your story, even the people that were involved,
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: even the people that were there, even the people that
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: you went through something with, they still can't tell your story.
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: They can only tell one situation in one chapter and
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: that's it. Other than that, they can't tell anything else,
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: so you have nothing to worry about in the end.
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: So in the end, you're the one that was there
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: through it all. So unless somebody sits down and they
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: hear your story and they're writing down their story, even
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: still they can't tell it without any without the information. So,
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: for example, if I wanted to do a story on
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: Tina Turner, I can basically go off a lot of
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: things and a lot of information, but she's no longer here,
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: so I can only do it off the information that
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: I get, but not from her, So I would have
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: to figure out based on the information what's real what's not.
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: Then I have to go to her family and make
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: sure that whatever it is I'm putting out, they're gonna
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: want me to put it out. So again, when you're
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: trying to tell a story of somebody that's no longer hear,
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: it's a little different in telling somebody's story that is here.
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: So there's a difference between telling somebody's story as far
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: as autobiography and somebody telling you who you are. Nobody
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: can tell you who you are because number one, they're
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: not in your body. Nobody can tell you that you're
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: not sick or that something's not wrong. You're the one
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: that feels it every day. And if you can't find answers,
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: don't give up. Don't just give up. Don't just sit
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: up there and feed into that programming of somebody keep
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: telling you nothing's wrong, nothing's wrong, and then after a
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: while you stop believing. What you need to do is
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: continue to figure out what's going on until you find
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: the answers. That's why a lot of people are passing away,
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: because by the time they figure out what's wrong, it's
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: too late, and it's too late to treat it. Why
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: because it's not about treating people holistically. It's not about
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: treating people in a way to where it's natural healing.
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: It's all about a temporary solution that only makes things worse.
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: So it's just like having an infection on your arm,
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: and that infection just gets worse and worse and worse
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: and worse and worse, and you don't do nothing to
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: treat it. So if you don't know how to treat
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: it naturally, medication and chemo and all of that ain't
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: gonna work. You gotta find natural ways to heal, and
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: you have to heal it before it gets worse. But
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: because you don't have insurance, and because the insurance sucks
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: in the United States, you're not being able to heal
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: like you're supposed to. And that's why people are dying.
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: People are dying because people just can't go to the
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: doctor for free and get treated. They don't do the
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: full examination of you to find out what's wrong. It
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: took me going to the emergency room for them to
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: do blood work, for them to do a full cat
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: scand on me for them to find out what is wrong. So,
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: like I said, I get it. I do. But in
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: the end, like I said, you know, we all have
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: our battles to fight, we all have our things that
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: we have to deal with. It's just like today I
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: had to come to the realization. They wanted me to
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: take some annibal biotics for ten days, and they wanted
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: me to take four of them four times a day.
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: I slow walked them, and I slow walked it. I
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: took one, then I started taking two, and now I'm
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: taking two today. But being that I feel a little
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: bit better, I said, I'll hold on to the rest
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: of them, and if I have another infection, I'll just
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: hold on to them. So I'm not gonna take no
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: more of the antibiotics because I've been taking them every
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: day for the past almost a couple of weeks. So
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: I'm not gonna take them up because i feel a
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: whole lot better. So I'm not gonna take them unless
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: I absolutely need them. But or when I go to
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: the dentist to get my tooth pulled, I may have
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: to take them because I may have to take an antibiotic.
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: But like I said, you know, you gotta do what's
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: best for you, and you have to figure out who
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: who you are, what you want to be, and what
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: you want to do. And sometimes that has nothing to
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: do with nobody's opinion. Now, don't get me wrong. You
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: want somebody to tell you whether you look bad or not.
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: You want somebody to tell you whether you're doing something wrong.
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: But there's nothing wrong with having your own style, your
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: own identity, and you being who you are. It ain't
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: nothing wrong with losing weight, nothing wrong with being a nerd,
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: nothing wrong with being intelligent, there's nothing wrong with having,
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: you know, having a disability. It can seem like a
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: bad thing, but in some cases it doesn't define have
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: to define people because like I said, when you start
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: labeling people and you start judging people, that's not good.
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: And as a golly person, that ain't what you're supposed
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: to do. You're not supposed to be sitting up here
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: judging people and categorizing people and telling them that because
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: they went to jail that they can't reform and they
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: can't basically do right. You can't tell somebody because they
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: have flaws and imperfections, they can't never be beautiful. Now,
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: if you have to go and get some done because
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: if your nasal issues or tonsils, or whatever the case
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: may be, because you have to get it done, that
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: is one thing. But if you don't have to, then
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: you won't a lot of people, even though they may
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: be attractive and even though it may seem like physically
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: far as externally there's nothing wrong. Doesn't mean they don't smoke, drink,
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: do drugs. Doesn't mean they don't go through anxiety, depression
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: things like that. So just because somebody is beautiful externally
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: does not mean they're healthy. They may be externally healthy
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: because they basically are wait wise, but that don't mean
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: they went through no eating disorder or any type of
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: the domestic violence or essay orm So just because somebody
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: is physically stronger mentally doesn't mean physically they're stronger. Some
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: people that are physically stronger are not mentally strong some
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: people are both. At the end of the day, like
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: I said, we all have our battles to fight, we
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: all have things that we have to deal with. We
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: all are looking for answers to make ourselves healthy and
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: be the best versions of ourselves. But self esteem, self worth,
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: and self value, self respect, self confidence, you believe in
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: yourself even when no one else does. It does matter,
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: It absolutely matters. So again, it's hard to be healthy
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: when you've got people and situations that keep setting you back.
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: You got people messing with your emotions and mentally and
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: psychologically and spiritually and and and financially and internally and
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: externally messing with you. So yeah, it's it's only it's
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: only natural that you're gonna have a situation where you're
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: gonna be knocked down a couple of couple of flights,
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: So you know, I'm not surprised. But at the end
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: of the day, you know, we all have our battles
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: to fight, we all have our things to go through.
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: But in the end, it's about you figuring out how
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: to be the best version of yourself. And that's just it.
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: Is it easy? No, loving yourself is easy when everybody
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: else is tearing you down. Having confidence is not easy
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: when you got people telling you every day your flaws
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: and imperfections, mistakes you've made in your pass, using your
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: disability against you. It's hard to be kind when you
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: got people that are taking advantage of your kindness. It's
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: hard to be a godly person when you got everybody
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: n Mama making it seem like it's wrong to be
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: a golly person. So no, it's not easy. It's hard.
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: But in the end, no matter what, even though yes
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: it's hard, it shouldn't stop you from continuously being a
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: godly person or being a good person. It shouldn't stop
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: you from doing that. So in the end, I just
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: want you to understand that it is okay that you
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: have setbacks. But eventually you're gonna get tired of them setbacks,
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: and eventually you're gonna say to yourself, you know what,
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: I am no longer gonna sit up here and let
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: nobody tell me that I'm not beautiful and that I'm
• 30:27
  Speaker 1: not worthy, I'm not gonna continuously try to be like
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: these other females. I'm no longer to be chosen. When
• 30:37
  Speaker 1: you start wanting to be chosen, you gonna see that
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: people are gonna start chasing after you. Why because when
• 30:46
  Speaker 1: you become the person you want to be, when you
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: get out that cocon of that hibernation cocoon and isolation
• 30:54
  Speaker 1: stage and you get out, you're gonna be that butterfly
• 30:59
  Speaker 1: that's gonna be flying. So let me tell you what
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: that means. You're gonna be traveling the world. You're gonna
• 31:05
  Speaker 1: be seeing there. You're gonna be sitting up here and
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: doing all of these things while all of these other
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: people are who thought you weren't good enough, who thought
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: you weren't worthy, who thought you didn't belong. You're gonna
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: be out here seeing the world and seeing what's out there.
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: You're gonna be sitting up here, sitting on top of
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: the world while everybody else is strolling on social media.
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: You're building a business and you're building a brand. You're
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: reading your Bible or all of your other books and stuff.
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: So you're gonna see how successful you're gonna become. And
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: when you do, you're gonna see that it was worth it.
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: So when you become successful, hick them all the people
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: calling you, all the people trying to be in your face,
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: all the people that said that you can do it
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: all of a sudden, But they weren't there when you
• 32:13
  Speaker 1: went through the journey. They weren't there when you were
• 32:16
  Speaker 1: building that business and their brand, and you were doing
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: your writing, and you were building your whatever it is
• 32:23
  Speaker 1: that you're doing. And now you're worth billions of dollars
• 32:27
  Speaker 1: and now nobody can touch you. Now, them same people
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: that said you couldn't do it, the same ones that
• 32:33
  Speaker 1: broke your self estee self work and self values and
• 32:35
  Speaker 1: your self respect and your confidence, making you question and
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: having insecurities and being vulnerable. The people that took advantage
• 32:43
  Speaker 1: of you now can't even get to you. That's gonna
• 32:48
  Speaker 1: be a good feeling for you. But where people mess
• 32:51
  Speaker 1: up is they end up becoming vain and they end
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: up trying to get back at all the people that
• 33:01
  Speaker 1: didn't want them. So, for example, you have a lot
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: of men that women didn't want when they were in
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: industry that are now sitting up here and they are
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: now going after all. Now all these women want them.
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: All they're doing is sleeping with them. So it's really
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: amazing how a lot of people that's what they're doing.
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: So I want you to understand that when you get
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: yourself where it needs, where you need to be, it
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: don't mean that you go back and own some revenge nonsense.
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: It just means that when you make it, you don't
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: deal with them at all, because no, they're not the
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: people that you're meant to be with. So while you're
• 33:54
  Speaker 1: going through your journey of being by yourself, not being
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: on social media, not sitting up here and getting away
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: from the world, I should say, now you're away from
• 34:08
  Speaker 1: the world, and now you're building doing something, And now
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: nobody knows what you're doing. When you walk out the door.
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: You're not walking out the door looking like you got money.
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: You walking like the door like you're a regular person.
• 34:24
  Speaker 1: As a matter of fact, nobody even knows who owns
• 34:27
  Speaker 1: the company. Why because not even your government name that's
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: on it. So now nobody knows who you are. They
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: have no way of finding who you are. And so
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: now when they finally see you on camera and they
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: finally see you on all these magazines and they finally
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: see you, you know everywhere, Now everybody calls you they
• 34:52
  Speaker 1: and now they're doing all these interviews. Yeah, we're her family,
• 34:55
  Speaker 1: and we knew she We knew that they could do it,
• 34:58
  Speaker 1: we knew that they had they make it. But when
• 35:01
  Speaker 1: you were trying to do it, they told you to
• 35:04
  Speaker 1: give up your dream, to give up your goals. That
• 35:07
  Speaker 1: same person that you was with that asked you to
• 35:10
  Speaker 1: lower yourself, that asked you to give up your dreams
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: to marry them. Same people that you had sex with
• 35:18
  Speaker 1: got a baby. By now that person gone. They ain't
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: been there, not one time in their child's life. But
• 35:27
  Speaker 1: yet when their child go pro or their child is
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: in the industry, hic come their dad like they've been
• 35:32
  Speaker 1: there since they won, And they ain't been there a
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: bit more than a man in the moon. Same thing
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: with mothers. So in the end, like I said, you know,
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: in the end, I will say this. We all have
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: our we all have our battles. There's not one person
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: that don't. But what I will say is this is
• 35:59
  Speaker 1: how you It's it's how you choose to fight the
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: battles or how you choose to walk away from But
• 36:06
  Speaker 1: the greatest revenge is not anything negative. It's just walking away.
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: If you can walk away without fighting or without violence.
• 36:19
  Speaker 1: That's the best way. Don't don't even say nothing, just
• 36:23
  Speaker 1: walk away. All you gotta do is just say you
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: know what, put put the divorce papers down. We let
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: the person say whatever they're gonna say. You have a
• 36:34
  Speaker 1: good day, and keep pushing. That's what you do. That's
• 36:40
  Speaker 1: the that's the greatest way of you winning. So at
• 36:46
  Speaker 1: the end of the day, your self esteem is more
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: than just what you look like. It's way more than that.
• 36:54
  Speaker 1: It's about your legacy, about your success, it's about your character,
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: it's about your happiness, your joy. All of these things matter,
• 37:07
  Speaker 1: all of them. So it's more than just what you
• 37:10
  Speaker 1: look like. It's more than just whether you're married or not.
• 37:13
  Speaker 1: It's more than just your finances. Because anybody can have
• 37:17
  Speaker 1: any of those things, don't mean that they gonna. They
• 37:20
  Speaker 1: can be able to maintain it. They can obtain it easily,
• 37:24
  Speaker 1: doesn't mean they can keep it. That's the thing. Can
• 37:27
  Speaker 1: you keep what you got? Can you maintain it? Can
• 37:31
  Speaker 1: you maintain not being sick once you get better? Can
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: you do better? Can you maintain the losing of the weight?
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: Can you maintain the relationship? Can you make sure your
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: children are successful those things, So I get it, don't
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: get me wrong. So I absolutely understand. Trust me. So
• 38:11
  Speaker 1: in the end, your self esteem is how not only
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: you treat yourself, not only how you feel and what
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: you think about yourself, not only about the decisions and
• 38:23
  Speaker 1: choices actually behavior, but it's also about how and what
• 38:28
  Speaker 1: you allow other people to do to you, How you
• 38:31
  Speaker 1: allow other people to treat you, how you sit up
• 38:34
  Speaker 1: here and you deal with things, how other people and
• 38:39
  Speaker 1: what they do and say impact and affect you. Those
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: type of things, so they do matter. How you deal
• 38:50
  Speaker 1: with trauma, how you stand alone, how you respect yourself,
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: how you demand respect, how you go about living your life.
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: They don't get me wrong. You can't avoid negativity when
• 39:08
  Speaker 1: they come to illnesses and diseases. Those things you can't avoid,
• 39:15
  Speaker 1: can't avoid when you go out in the car. There's
• 39:18
  Speaker 1: no guarantee that something may not happen due to other people,
• 39:23
  Speaker 1: But you can do what's right. Far to everybody else,
• 39:30
  Speaker 1: you can't control what they do, but you can't control
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: what you do. So even though everybody else is out
• 39:37
  Speaker 1: here doing negative and doing everything under sun, that don't
• 39:39
  Speaker 1: mean that's what you need to do, and that doesn't
• 39:43
  Speaker 1: mean that's how you need to act. So that's what
• 39:46
  Speaker 1: I want people to understand when they come to self respect.
• 39:52
  Speaker 1: It's more than that. It's how not only long do
• 39:58
  Speaker 1: you want to be on this planet. It's also about
• 40:01
  Speaker 1: your health and wellness, and that is what it's about.
• 40:05
  Speaker 1: It's about being healthy. It's about waking up in the
• 40:09
  Speaker 1: morning and you're not in pain. It's about going out
• 40:14
  Speaker 1: there in the world and praying to God that you
• 40:16
  Speaker 1: make it back home. It's about being able to deal
• 40:20
  Speaker 1: with people and not let them get under your skin,
• 40:24
  Speaker 1: not letting them take your crown, not letting them take
• 40:27
  Speaker 1: your throne. It's about not stooping down to negative people's level.
• 40:33
  Speaker 1: It's about not letting them make you feel less than
• 40:36
  Speaker 1: what you are because you're not society standards of anything.
• 40:42
  Speaker 1: Being a godly person ain't easy. It's hard, very very hard,
• 40:49
  Speaker 1: but it's worth it in the end when you see
• 40:51
  Speaker 1: the end result. So I just wanted to come out
• 40:54
  Speaker 1: here and have this conversation with y'all because, like I said, said,
• 41:00
  Speaker 1: minding your own business and focusing on you is harder
• 41:06
  Speaker 1: than what you might think. Because it's like me, I'll say, Okay,
• 41:11
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna get off social media. I end up strolling.
• 41:15
  Speaker 1: But when I go home to visit my family this weekend,
• 41:18
  Speaker 1: I ain't gonna be on none of it. Now I
• 41:19
  Speaker 1: might watch TikTok videos, but I won't be doing any lives.
• 41:23
  Speaker 1: I will be doing my podcast tomorrow. I got an
• 41:26
  Speaker 1: interview at five o'clock Eastern Standard time. I'm excited, well
• 41:32
  Speaker 1: four point thirty Eastern Standard time. I'm gonna make sure
• 41:35
  Speaker 1: she got it now. I make sure I send it
• 41:37
  Speaker 1: to her. But I'm really excited about doing this interview,
• 41:40
  Speaker 1: so you guys will get to hear it, and it
• 41:43
  Speaker 1: is set up for zoom. I got to connect it
• 41:46
  Speaker 1: to YouTube tomorrow, and I'm gonna do that when I
• 41:51
  Speaker 1: go in there before. I might go in there before
• 41:56
  Speaker 1: just to set it up because it doesn't start art
• 42:00
  Speaker 1: until we turn on the camera, but we can go
• 42:03
  Speaker 1: in there at any time. So I got to set
• 42:05
  Speaker 1: up the zoom. Matter of fact, I need to do
• 42:07
  Speaker 1: that now when I get done, so that way from
• 42:11
  Speaker 1: my computer, so that way we can do the zoom. So,
• 42:16
  Speaker 1: like I said, we all have our battles and things
• 42:18
  Speaker 1: that we have to go through, but in the end,
• 42:24
  Speaker 1: you know, it's not about how we fall, it's about
• 42:27
  Speaker 1: how we rise, and that's what is important. So don't
• 42:32
  Speaker 1: sit up here and make yourself feel bad because you
• 42:35
  Speaker 1: don't fit society standards, or you're not a part of something,
• 42:39
  Speaker 1: or you get rejected. It's it's okay that you that
• 42:43
  Speaker 1: you do. So don't worry about the fact thatty of
• 42:46
  Speaker 1: these people because in the end you can always create
• 42:49
  Speaker 1: something of y'all point blame period. You ain't got to
• 42:53
  Speaker 1: be involved with all these negative these negative people, you don't.
• 42:57
  Speaker 1: All you gotta do is just be. We all have flaws.
• 43:03
  Speaker 1: There's not one person that's perfect in this world. And
• 43:06
  Speaker 1: y'all need to stop thinking because people got money or
• 43:10
  Speaker 1: because they have whatever, that they're better than you. They're
• 43:14
  Speaker 1: not better than you, So stop thinking somebody is better
• 43:19
  Speaker 1: than you because they have money, So stop thinking like that.
• 43:24
  Speaker 1: So these people may think they better than you, but
• 43:28
  Speaker 1: in all actuality, they're not better than you at all.
• 43:34
  Speaker 1: So don't worry about all of that. Just be happy
• 43:41
  Speaker 1: and continue doing what you're doing doing and just be
• 43:46
  Speaker 1: and that's it, because in the end, you have to
• 43:51
  Speaker 1: do what makes you happy, and that's just it. As
• 43:57
  Speaker 1: long as you're doing what you feel works for you.
• 44:02
  Speaker 3: Give me a second. I'm trying to do something right quick.
• 44:06
  Speaker 3: They got me doing something. I'm trying to set to
• 44:08
  Speaker 3: the zoom right quick. I don't know, but yeah, we
• 44:17
  Speaker 3: all got our battles to fight. We do, and we're
• 44:23
  Speaker 3: gonna fight them the same way we fight everything else.
• 44:28
  Speaker 1: So it's okay. So as long as y'all doing what
• 44:33
  Speaker 1: makes you happy, that's all that matters. It's not about
• 44:36
  Speaker 1: everybody else. It's about you and doing what you feel
• 44:42
  Speaker 1: works for you. So it's okay, So give me one second. Job.
• 44:55
  Speaker 1: So with that being said, that's it for me. I'm
• 44:59
  Speaker 1: gonna go now because I gotta get ready forbid. But
• 45:02
  Speaker 1: I thank y'all for joining me for this episode. I'm
• 45:05
  Speaker 1: your host, God is ash Mary. I'm I appreciate y'all,
• 45:09
  Speaker 1: and I will see you guys next time. And until then,
• 45:13
  Speaker 1: our audios avoir a vita zine, and I'll see y'all
• 45:17
  Speaker 1: next time. Bye, y'all