Latest / The Career Mentor Podcast with Fexingo: Finding Mentors, Sponsors, and Career Advisors / Why Your Best Mentor Might Be Ten Years Younger Than You
Transcript
- Lucas: So I was talking to a managing director at a big consulting firm last week — guy in his late fifties, been doing this for thirty years. And he told me he just finished a six-month reverse mentoring program where he was paired with a 26-year-old analyst. I asked him what he learned, and he said, 'I learned how to give feedback without terrifying people.' Luna: That's huge. Most senior leaders think feedback is about being direct — but direct often lands as harsh. Lucas: Exactly. He said the analyst didn't just show him how to use Slack or build a dashboard in Tableau — she actually taught him a language for talking about emotional impact at work. It changed how he runs his team meetings. Luna: And that's reverse mentoring in a nutshell. The classic model is a senior leader learning digital skills from a junior — that's the old setup. But the real value is deeper. It's about perspective, culture, blind spots. Lucas: Right. The term 'reverse mentoring' was coined by Jack Welch at GE back in the 1990s — he mandated that senior executives learn the internet from younger employees. But the modern version is way broader. It's now about DEI, about generational expectations around work-life balance, about how to lead a hybrid team when you grew up in a corner office. Luna: So why don't more people do it? I think the ego barrier is real. A senior person has to admit, 'I don't know this, and I need you to teach me.' That's hard. Lucas: It is hard. And the irony is that the junior person also feels awkward — they're supposed to be learning from the senior, not the other way around. So both sides have to overcome their assumptions. Luna: I remember reading a study from Deloitte a couple of years ago — they found that reverse mentoring programs increased retention among junior employees by something like 20 percent. Because being chosen as a mentor signals that your voice matters. Lucas: I've seen that stat too. It's around 20 to 25 percent improvement in retention for the junior mentor. And for the senior leader, the benefit is often a refresh in thinking — they get exposed to new tools, new communication norms, and they stay more engaged. Luna: But there's a catch, right? Not all reverse mentoring programs actually work. I've heard of ones where the senior just doesn't show up, or they treat it like a one-way broadcast. Lucas: Yeah, the failed ones usually have no structure. They pair people up, say 'go meet once a month,' and then nothing happens. The successful ones have a clear time horizon — six months, a year — and a specific goal. The MD I mentioned, he and his analyst set three goals: one was a technical skill, one was a leadership behavior, and one was a DEI topic. They tracked progress. Luna: And the junior mentor needs to be trained too. They need to know how to coach upward, how to give feedback to someone who outranks them, how to handle it if their advice is rejected. Lucas: Exactly. Some companies run a half-day workshop for the junior mentors before the program starts. They cover things like: 'Your boss's boss is not going to implement everything you suggest. Your job is to offer a perspective, not to dictate.' That sets expectations. Luna: It's almost like a reverse sponsorship dynamic — the senior is sponsoring the junior's growth, but the junior is also sponsoring the senior's relevance. Lucas: That's a great way to put it. And speaking of sponsorship — you know, if today's episode helped you think about a career move or a relationship you want to strengthen, we do keep this show ad-free thanks to listeners who chip in. Honestly, if today was worth a coffee to you, you can find us at buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. Luna: Yeah, that's a small way to keep these conversations going without any corporate interruption. Lucas: Alright — so let's talk about how to actually set up a reverse mentoring relationship. First, you need a willing senior. Not all seniors are open to this. You want someone who is curious, not defensive. Luna: How do you identify that? Is there a question you can ask? Lucas: There is. You ask them: 'What's something you wish you understood better about how the younger generation experiences work?' If they engage with that question honestly, they're a candidate. If they deflect — 'oh, they're all entitled' — then don't bother. Luna: So the senior has to be self-aware. But the junior also has to be ready. They need to have enough confidence to speak truth to power — respectfully, but honestly. Lucas: And the organization needs to create safety. If a junior mentor says something critical about company culture, they shouldn't face backlash. The whole thing depends on psychological safety. Luna: I've seen some companies pair reverse mentoring with their ERGs — employee resource groups. So a senior leader who wants to learn about racial equity might be paired with a junior person from an ERG focused on that. It gives the relationship a built-in context. Lucas: That's a smart structure. It also takes the pressure off the junior to be the sole representative of their identity. They're not 'the Black mentor' or 'the LGBTQ mentor' — they're a person sharing their lived experience, but the context is shared. Luna: Right. So we've got the structure, the training, the goal-setting. What about the actual meeting cadence? Monthly? Biweekly? Lucas: I'd say every two to three weeks for the first three months, then monthly after that. And each meeting should have a mini-agenda set by the junior mentor — something like 'I want to walk you through how Gen Z thinks about feedback,' with specific examples. Luna: And the senior should come with questions too. It can't be passive on either side. Lucas: Absolutely. And one of the best outcomes I've seen is when the reverse mentoring relationship turns into a two-way thing — the junior starts getting career advice from the senior naturally, and it becomes a genuine mentoring relationship. Just without the formal label. Luna: That's the ideal scenario. It stops being 'reverse' and just becomes 'mentoring.' Lucas: Exactly. And for that to happen, both sides have to let go of the hierarchy. The senior has to be willing to be vulnerable, and the junior has to be willing to be bold. Luna: I think a lot of people don't even consider reverse mentoring because they assume the mentor has to be older. But the best mentor might be the person who sees the world differently, not the one who's been around longer. Lucas: And that's the takeaway. If you're a senior leader, ask yourself: who in your organization is ten or twenty years younger and seems to have a perspective you don't fully get? That's your reverse mentor. Luna: And if you're a junior person, you can offer. You can say, 'I'd love to share some insights on how our team could communicate better across generations.' That's an invitation. Lucas: It really is. And if you're in a position to set up a formal program, start small — five pairs, six months, clear goals. Measure retention. See what happens. Luna: I'm curious — have you ever been a reverse mentor, Lucas? Or a reverse mentee? Lucas: I've been both. Early in my career, a partner at a firm I worked at asked me to teach him how to blog. This was 2010. I was 27, he was 55. We met every Friday for three months. I taught him WordPress, and he taught me how to structure an argument in a business memo. I still use that skill today. Luna: See, that's exactly it. Both sides walk away with something real. Lucas: And that's the beauty of it. Reverse mentoring isn't about flipping the hierarchy — it's about recognizing that expertise doesn't flow in one direction. Luna: Well said.