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BONUS: And Soon There Will Be Two! · Untraditionally Lala

0:05
Speaker 1: Hello, my loves, Welcome to the bonus episode of Give
0:08
Speaker 1: Them La La Podcast. What a special special day beyond.
0:13
Speaker 2: I'm so excited for you.
0:15
Speaker 3: I want to be well mama, to be momma of two,
0:18
Speaker 3: to be Okay, that breaks me out, does it?
0:21
Speaker 1: Yeah? But I will say I'm so happy that the
0:24
Speaker 1: picture finally came out because I've been rocking a beer
0:27
Speaker 1: belly for like a few weeks now, and I'm Here's
0:32
Speaker 1: the good thing is I always wear baggy clothing, so
0:35
Speaker 1: like that part, it's like I'm not like, it's not
0:38
Speaker 1: like I'm walking around in latex every day and then
0:40
Speaker 1: all of a sudden, I'm in baggy stuff. But it's
0:44
Speaker 1: strange when you can't wear skin tight things you want to.
0:48
Speaker 1: I want a belly shirt on.
0:51
Speaker 2: Well, now you can. You can rock the belly shirt.
0:54
Speaker 4: No, it's kind of like you're you feel thick, but
0:57
Speaker 4: you don't look pregnant.
0:58
Speaker 1: Oh it's the worst, Yeah, it is is.
1:01
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's kind of you can't you look, in my
1:04
Speaker 3: opinion though, you have a tiny belly, now, don't you.
1:06
Speaker 1: I mean, I look just like the Grinch for those
1:09
Speaker 1: of you who don't look exactly like the Grinch. For
1:12
Speaker 1: those of you who don't follow me on Instagram, yeah,
1:16
Speaker 1: and only follow the podcast. First of all, thank you.
1:19
Speaker 1: But I'm expecting my second child, which is very, very amazing. Congratulations.
1:27
Speaker 3: We're all expecting.
1:31
Speaker 1: It feels with child. Oh mom keep saying every time
1:36
Speaker 1: I'm like I feel nauseated or like I'm so tired.
1:39
Speaker 1: Why am I so tired? She goes, you're with child.
1:41
Speaker 1: I know I'm about to Bitchla. Do not say that?
1:45
Speaker 2: Why don't say with child?
1:47
Speaker 1: Jessica. You can say she's pregnant, she's knocked up. I
1:55
Speaker 1: don't care anything except with child.
1:57
Speaker 3: Oh, ild, I'm gonna be saying it all the time.
2:00
Speaker 3: You six feet I'm with child.
2:03
Speaker 2: I will.
2:05
Speaker 1: I totally see you doing that. So I've been off
2:09
Speaker 1: social media because I wanted to create. I found out
2:13
Speaker 1: on December twenty second, Oh.
2:15
Speaker 2: My god, get it, get into it.
2:18
Speaker 1: We were going to head to Palm Springs on the
2:20
Speaker 1: twenty third for Christmas. And here's the weird thing about
2:25
Speaker 1: the way that I conceived this child, right is when
2:29
Speaker 1: like you're bumping peepees with your partner, people aren't actively
2:33
Speaker 1: checking in like did it take? Did it take? With mine?
2:37
Speaker 1: It was like I'm going in for my IUI because
2:40
Speaker 1: I got a donor, and so people who I would
2:45
Speaker 1: tell I didn't think this went through. People who I
2:47
Speaker 1: would tell I'm going in for my first IUI then
2:50
Speaker 1: actively would text me the next day when do you
2:52
Speaker 1: find out if it took? So I had people actively
2:54
Speaker 1: asking me like are you pregnant? Are you pregnant? Are
2:56
Speaker 1: you pregnant? And it's so weird the first trimester because
3:01
Speaker 1: it's you know, it's kind of touch and go and
3:04
Speaker 1: you don't know what's gonna happen, and you just want
3:06
Speaker 1: to make sure that that part you kind of complete,
3:08
Speaker 1: which we've completed. We love that first trimester is over.
3:14
Speaker 1: So I had people asking me. And Sheena and her
3:18
Speaker 1: family were going to Palm Springs and I was gonna
3:20
Speaker 1: take the test there because I was like, that's such
3:22
Speaker 1: a like beautiful zen place and I but I'm thinking
3:25
Speaker 1: about it as like I'm definitely getting a yes. And
3:28
Speaker 1: I was like, what if I get to know, it
3:31
Speaker 1: will ruin and it will ruin my Christmas. So we're
3:36
Speaker 1: like in the apartment on the twenty second and Easton's
3:40
Speaker 1: passed out on the floor. We're watching like something about
3:43
Speaker 1: the planet and asleep okay, and I'm yeah, I'm fidgety.
3:49
Speaker 1: So I'm just gonna go take it on my own.
3:51
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna tell anybody. And so I go up there,
3:54
Speaker 1: pee on my little stick and I'm a waitin. I'm
3:57
Speaker 1: a waitin and I'm a paysin and it like double
4:00
Speaker 1: lines and I was like, oh my god, that was
4:04
Speaker 1: really fast and I'm tripping. What have I done?
4:09
Speaker 2: Oh no, I don't expect.
4:10
Speaker 1: It when I went into the fertility specialist because again
4:14
Speaker 1: my obie was like, I can perform the procedure, but
4:17
Speaker 1: I would much rather you have a fertility specialist to
4:21
Speaker 1: it because you are getting a donor. It's not like
4:24
Speaker 1: unlimited com boom boom, like if you have a man, right, absolutely, okay,
4:31
Speaker 1: keep going. Hey we're still ling baby number two. There's
4:34
Speaker 1: no changing the DNA. So I went to a fertility
4:39
Speaker 1: specialist and they really treated me like I was having
4:43
Speaker 1: fertility issues because that's what they deal with.
4:46
Speaker 4: And the doctor was amazing though, he really was, and
4:50
Speaker 4: the way he explained everything me at sixty three years old,
4:53
Speaker 4: I'm like, oh, that's how it works.
4:55
Speaker 1: I was like, so that's what a fallopian tube does. No,
5:00
Speaker 1: don't even know what that is. Apparently they have arms
5:02
Speaker 1: and they like come down and they like they swish,
5:05
Speaker 1: they sweep, the sweep the eggs, sweep the eggs. It's wild.
5:09
Speaker 1: It's like hungry, hungry.
5:11
Speaker 4: In fact, the mere fact that people get pregnant, like
5:15
Speaker 4: it's crazy, the way that everything's just got to be
5:18
Speaker 4: right on point.
5:19
Speaker 3: Which is even more wild that you got pregnant the
5:23
Speaker 3: first time.
5:24
Speaker 4: Because the doctor that did the procedure, he said like
5:28
Speaker 4: he was trying to, you know, tell her he could
5:30
Speaker 4: take between five and seven times.
5:32
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, on average.
5:34
Speaker 2: That's what it is.
5:35
Speaker 1: That where you were saying that they thought that you
5:38
Speaker 1: had fertility issues because you were going there because isn't it.
5:43
Speaker 2: Women do what you do?
5:44
Speaker 3: Right?
5:45
Speaker 1: Wow? Three? What was that percentage? Well, I got my
5:48
Speaker 1: my donor through the California Cryo Bank, and so when
5:52
Speaker 1: I met with them and they worked with this fertility
5:55
Speaker 1: specialist a lot like they were, they knew of each other.
5:59
Speaker 1: And only to one percent of women who go into
6:02
Speaker 1: the California Cryobank to seek out a donor because they
6:06
Speaker 1: want to do parenthood on their own. There's only ten
6:10
Speaker 1: percent of people who are like me, who are like
6:12
Speaker 1: I just want a child, and I need a donor. Right,
6:16
Speaker 1: most people that are coming in are like same sex couples,
6:19
Speaker 1: or maybe the man doesn't he's sterile, So it's a
6:25
Speaker 1: pretty I would say ten percent is a pretty low number.
6:27
Speaker 1: But the California Cryobank, they were absolutely fantastic, like they
6:32
Speaker 1: treated me, because it is a very weird and isolating
6:35
Speaker 1: experience if you allow it to be. It's very scientific.
6:40
Speaker 1: You know you're going in you look at all of
6:42
Speaker 1: this stuff with your donor. And people kept asking me
6:46
Speaker 1: what are you looking for in your donor? And I
6:48
Speaker 1: have to say, looks were probably the lowest on the
6:53
Speaker 1: totem pole for me. Yeah, and I hate to say it,
6:56
Speaker 1: but I also didn't need them to be extremely smart
6:59
Speaker 1: because I'm not. And I would hope that if I
7:01
Speaker 1: was like donating eggs, they wouldn't be like, shouldn't go
7:03
Speaker 1: to college? What I do? Ask you? You still text me?
7:08
Speaker 1: So I didn't look at I just knew, like when
7:13
Speaker 1: you had.
7:13
Speaker 4: A defining moment when you pict your donor, when you
7:16
Speaker 4: read his bio.
7:17
Speaker 3: And which I am dying to get into, but I don't.
7:21
Speaker 3: I want to make sure you go back because you
7:22
Speaker 3: were in the middle of telling the story of how
7:24
Speaker 3: you found out.
7:24
Speaker 1: Oh sorry, emotional, we love yeah.
7:28
Speaker 2: Ever excited with you.
7:30
Speaker 1: You.
7:32
Speaker 3: Say, you tell this journey however you want. I wanted
7:34
Speaker 3: to remind you it's just.
7:35
Speaker 1: Such a wild experience that I'm like, I don't even
7:39
Speaker 1: know how to follow it because I'm like, this has
7:41
Speaker 1: been the craziest like fourteen weeks ever.
7:46
Speaker 3: Yeah, we're so proud of you, We're so excited.
7:49
Speaker 1: So yes, there was a defining moment, but let's go
7:52
Speaker 1: back to finding out. And then I want to venture
7:54
Speaker 1: because sometimes when things happen so quickly, you know the
7:58
Speaker 1: people around you, remember your reaction, actions, and what that
8:00
Speaker 1: defining moment was. Where you're just kind of like living
8:02
Speaker 1: in the moment. So I run down the stairs. I'm like,
8:08
Speaker 1: I'm going to tell my family in Palm Springs because
8:11
Speaker 1: then it'll be a really beautiful moment. And I look
8:14
Speaker 1: at my mom and she's like doing dishes. It's like
8:17
Speaker 1: such like not a cute space, okay, now at all.
8:23
Speaker 4: We were just doing a daily routine, yeah.
8:26
Speaker 1: Nightly routine, which is vegging to the highest degree, right okay,
8:32
Speaker 1: and edibled out, passed out on the floor, and I go, guys,
8:38
Speaker 1: I wanted to wait to tell you, but I really
8:40
Speaker 1: really I need to tell you now. They're like, what,
8:45
Speaker 1: just what? I'm pregnant and they're like you are. I
8:51
Speaker 1: go Eastern Care, I'm having a baby. He's like, that's
8:56
Speaker 1: so great. When did you find out? I was like
8:58
Speaker 1: like five minutes. You were very excited, and then it
9:03
Speaker 1: didn't seem real. So I just kept taking all the
9:05
Speaker 1: pregnancy time. I felt like it didn't feel real. I
9:08
Speaker 1: wake up and she's like, I'm pregnant. I'm taking Is
9:10
Speaker 1: it a dream?
9:11
Speaker 2: I would have done that.
9:12
Speaker 3: I would have actually, I would have taken one and
9:15
Speaker 3: been like, if it were me, this is probably wrong,
9:18
Speaker 3: and taken probably ten more, and then I would have
9:20
Speaker 3: been like, okay, so maybe I am.
9:21
Speaker 1: Did you take him by the one? I certainly did, Lisa.
9:25
Speaker 1: So I took a lot. It took a lot. I
9:28
Speaker 1: just could not fathom that I was having a second baby.
9:32
Speaker 1: On try one. I thought I had a little bit
9:34
Speaker 1: more time to sink into I really did, and even
9:38
Speaker 1: my fertility doctor was like, I feel like this was
9:41
Speaker 1: just more of like a meet and greets, like, hey,
9:43
Speaker 1: nice to meet you, here you go bye. It was
9:46
Speaker 1: so fast.
9:47
Speaker 2: It was so fast.
9:47
Speaker 3: It was incredible. So you tell Lisa and Easton? Who
9:50
Speaker 3: do you tell next? Do you tell me?
9:52
Speaker 1: Is it? I tell you next? Okay, I tell you next.
9:54
Speaker 3: So tell me this because I want to tell you
9:56
Speaker 3: from my side where this comes from.
9:58
Speaker 1: Okay?
9:58
Speaker 2: So you yeah, well.
10:00
Speaker 1: Well I said I have to tell Jessica. So I
10:04
Speaker 1: send you the picture and it probably was all of
10:07
Speaker 1: three seconds that it took you to not respond, and
10:10
Speaker 1: it was too long. I had sent it. It had
10:13
Speaker 1: been three seconds you didn't respond. I'm calling you. So
10:16
Speaker 1: I called you and I was like, hey, there's like
10:18
Speaker 1: this like weird contract. And I don't know why I
10:20
Speaker 1: thought that, like you would buy into, like you being
10:23
Speaker 1: able to read a contract like instead of like Darryl you.
10:26
Speaker 3: Know, but I did in my mind this second you
10:28
Speaker 3: said that, I'm like, oh, I gotta read this contract now.
10:30
Speaker 1: Yeah. I go, I don't understand it, and I'm hoping
10:33
Speaker 1: you do. And so she gets it and she's like, okay, okay,
10:36
Speaker 1: let me check it out. What paragraph? And I'm like,
10:39
Speaker 1: just get in and I'll walk you through it. And
10:40
Speaker 1: she says it just and she's just that was Jessica
10:51
Speaker 1: never heard.
10:51
Speaker 2: Anything like it.
10:52
Speaker 1: I'm like, are you.
10:53
Speaker 3: Okay, you said Jess, Jess, because she gonna hear me.
10:57
Speaker 3: So what happened was, I'm laying in bed with Kyle.
11:00
Speaker 3: I was just really tired that day. I was supposed
11:02
Speaker 3: to go to Arizona.
11:03
Speaker 2: It was my dad's birthday, and we did and we
11:04
Speaker 2: had had a crazy day.
11:06
Speaker 3: And Lala calls me and I'm like, hey, hey, and
11:09
Speaker 3: she's like, hey, she said what she just said, like,
11:11
Speaker 3: take a look at this contract.
11:13
Speaker 2: I'm like, okay, okay, i gotta look at this contract.
11:15
Speaker 3: And so you guys, when I say, truly the most
11:20
Speaker 3: surprised I may have ever been in my life. I
11:23
Speaker 3: was listening to you when you said things like it's
11:26
Speaker 3: probably not going to take the first time. Many people
11:29
Speaker 3: said that, so I was like, oh, it's not going
11:30
Speaker 3: to take the first time.
11:31
Speaker 2: That's just how it works.
11:33
Speaker 3: So I look at the photo and my breath is
11:37
Speaker 3: quite literally taken away to where and I start bawling.
11:41
Speaker 2: But Laala doesn't know that. So I'm like, I'm looking, I.
11:44
Speaker 3: See the photo and I go oh, and then my
11:46
Speaker 3: eyes and I'm like and I'm like, my eyes start watering.
11:50
Speaker 3: And Kyle's like he like runs out. He's like of course,
11:53
Speaker 3: Kyle's like.
11:54
Speaker 2: So someone died.
11:55
Speaker 1: Someone died.
11:56
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, And so I.
11:57
Speaker 3: Have to immediately turn and show him and and I
12:00
Speaker 3: just start crying, and.
12:01
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh my god, we're pregnant.
12:05
Speaker 3: And then I'd like tell Kyle and he's like, oh,
12:07
Speaker 3: that's so amazing, congrats.
12:09
Speaker 1: It is the communal baby, it is. It's really wild
12:14
Speaker 1: to me because I've told Actually, it's crazy to me
12:19
Speaker 1: that it didn't get out sooner.
12:22
Speaker 2: I mean the at All.
12:28
Speaker 1: Break Well, the stylist at all Bright was with child,
12:32
Speaker 1: and I felt an immediate bond with her.
12:34
Speaker 2: No, you guys, let me tell you.
12:35
Speaker 1: I go, is that a bomb? She goes, yes, I'm
12:39
Speaker 1: doing April. And I was like, can I tell you something.
12:42
Speaker 1: I'm like six weeks pregnant right now. And she's like,
12:45
Speaker 1: I'm so happy for you. I was like, I feel disgusting.
12:49
Speaker 2: No, let me tell you. Lala.
12:50
Speaker 3: We were like, okay, we're keeping this on the download.
12:52
Speaker 3: We're keeping the secret. Literally the next day was like
12:55
Speaker 3: All Bright stylist or a few days later and within
12:58
Speaker 3: a week or two weeks, because there was a vander
13:01
Speaker 3: Pump premiere party. I'm standing next to Lala and I
13:04
Speaker 3: hear her just tell at least six people liked. She's like,
13:07
Speaker 3: don't tell anyone.
13:09
Speaker 1: Worse at keeping my own secret. I'll keep yours till
13:11
Speaker 1: the death. But me, I'm like, they kept the good people.
13:18
Speaker 2: The second I hear her, I know, can I tell
13:22
Speaker 2: you something?
13:22
Speaker 1: I go here, she goes there, she goes yeah, Okay,
13:26
Speaker 1: so you do. I told Dakota Fanning.
13:31
Speaker 4: She kept a secret.
13:33
Speaker 1: She's a bad bitch man.
13:34
Speaker 3: Your circle is quite nice, quite secure.
13:37
Speaker 1: Right. So when Andy Cohen last time I did wat happens?
13:40
Speaker 1: Said these three, who would you trust the least? And
13:43
Speaker 1: I said I would trust all three of them with
13:45
Speaker 1: my life. I would all three of them with my
13:47
Speaker 1: pregnancy secret right now.
13:49
Speaker 2: So that's a great question. Do they all know? Who
13:52
Speaker 2: did you tell?
13:53
Speaker 1: Yes? I better question the questioner, who did I not tell?
14:00
Speaker 2: How did they react?
14:02
Speaker 1: Thrilled for me? Can I tell you what's so incredible
14:05
Speaker 1: is for me? And with like It was weird because
14:08
Speaker 1: Easton expressed more concern about me getting a donor than
14:11
Speaker 1: like my sixty three year old mother, which you would
14:14
Speaker 1: think it would be the opposite, because Lisa comes from
14:17
Speaker 1: a very different generation where it's like, but you're going
14:19
Speaker 1: to find that someday, which is what most people her
14:22
Speaker 1: age say to me. And I'm like, I know, great
14:25
Speaker 1: and find it a lot of times. Damn, damn.
14:31
Speaker 2: I love that.
14:33
Speaker 1: So my mom, who's like the chillist of chill and
14:36
Speaker 1: she's like, yes, do the donor fuck men? We don't
14:40
Speaker 1: need them. You're a bad bitch.
14:45
Speaker 4: I don't exact words, the complete opposite of those words,
14:50
Speaker 4: but that's my interpretation of what you said.
14:54
Speaker 1: You asked about who the people were that nailed who
14:58
Speaker 1: I told, and you said their reactions, their reactions were amazing,
15:04
Speaker 1: and because there this was just a different experience that
15:10
Speaker 1: I know. It's not like the norm. It's most certainly
15:12
Speaker 1: my norm. You always wonder how people are going to
15:16
Speaker 1: react when you're like, I'm pregnant, because I think the
15:19
Speaker 1: first thing people think is like, she doesn't have a boyfriend,
15:24
Speaker 1: she doesn't have a husband, how could this? Oh, the
15:29
Speaker 1: new neighbors, I'm sure are all the amounts of confused
15:33
Speaker 1: by our whole dynamic.
15:35
Speaker 2: I wonder if they thank you too? Are a couple?
15:37
Speaker 1: No, no, no, she's my mom.
15:40
Speaker 4: We went to the neighborhood watch meeting, and mate, you went.
15:43
Speaker 2: To the neighborhood watch meeting.
15:45
Speaker 1: Of course we're going to get into that on the
15:48
Speaker 1: Wednesday episode, because me, I am a neighborhood watching you
15:53
Speaker 1: don't want to. In fact, I think the neighbors are like, wow,
15:56
Speaker 1: she's like really taking seriously.
16:00
Speaker 2: I actually love this.
16:01
Speaker 1: I can't wait to time at five h nine, a
16:03
Speaker 1: suspicious car past all three of our houses. They lingered
16:07
Speaker 1: three seconds in front of you, twelve seconds in front
16:09
Speaker 1: of mine. Suspicion, call ADT.
16:16
Speaker 2: I'm gonna love her, grim.
16:17
Speaker 1: Joy, save the details, the details, mom? What was your
16:25
Speaker 1: reaction when I mean as lame as it sounds, we're
16:28
Speaker 1: a very comfortable family. I feel like Lisa and I
16:30
Speaker 1: made this decision together to get a.
16:32
Speaker 4: Donor well, and you know what, I was so pro
16:35
Speaker 4: for it too. I don't want to share a child.
16:38
Speaker 1: Why it's so fun, it's just so easy and smooth sailing.
16:43
Speaker 1: You don't want to nail to it again? No, I
16:45
Speaker 1: don't know.
16:46
Speaker 3: Had my feel, yes, how my feel don't enjoy, don't enjoy.
16:50
Speaker 4: So this baby will be one hundred percent our baby
16:54
Speaker 4: going to very like everywhere with us. I am don't
16:58
Speaker 4: have to look at the calendar and don't have her
17:01
Speaker 4: that weekend or oh like so over end.
17:05
Speaker 3: See that's nice. I'm sure you feel not stressed about
17:08
Speaker 3: that part.
17:09
Speaker 1: I'm excited that Ocean gets something that we have. What
17:12
Speaker 1: do you mean? I was like, what do we have?
17:19
Speaker 4: No, you know what, She's going to be the best,
17:22
Speaker 4: Like she's real cute. And when she looks Lauren and says,
17:26
Speaker 4: you guys, have a baby in your belly.
17:29
Speaker 1: Baby in your belly, let me see.
17:32
Speaker 3: I do want to ask you how you told oh,
17:35
Speaker 3: but I'm also curious you've been.
17:38
Speaker 2: Off socials correct when? How when did you decide to
17:43
Speaker 2: make that choice? And is that changing? Is that going
17:45
Speaker 2: to change?
17:46
Speaker 1: I made that choice and why, like right after Christmas
17:51
Speaker 1: because I wanted to obviously post my baby in like
17:54
Speaker 1: her Christmasy stuff. And then I went off socials just
17:58
Speaker 1: because I felt like I didn't want I just didn't
18:02
Speaker 1: want to be a part of the outside world. It
18:03
Speaker 1: doesn't affect me, I don't. It's not natural for us
18:07
Speaker 1: to see so much. You know, Yeah, you shouldn't.
18:12
Speaker 4: Want it to remove yourself because you want to enjoy
18:15
Speaker 4: your pregnancy.
18:16
Speaker 1: That's exactly right. Not only do I want to enjoy
18:18
Speaker 1: my pregnancy, but I also want to create, like a
18:21
Speaker 1: really beautiful environment for this baby to grow. You know,
18:24
Speaker 1: this is the first experience it's going to have with
18:30
Speaker 1: its mom. I don't know the gender yet, but it's
18:32
Speaker 1: I just wanted it to like be low stress, just enjoy,
18:37
Speaker 1: get cozy. Mama's eating good. Mama's stress is low. Mama
18:42
Speaker 1: doesn't know who's out in these streets saying what, Like,
18:44
Speaker 1: we're just like very zen. And that's how it was
18:46
Speaker 1: when I was pregnant with Ocean. Granted, it was the pandemic,
18:50
Speaker 1: and a completely different experience pandemic pandemic pregnancy five star
18:56
Speaker 1: hop not top notch, real world pregnancy robe very different, right, right, Yeah,
19:05
Speaker 1: I lived in my bathrobe and I ate amazing food,
19:09
Speaker 1: and I watched housewives all day and it was just
19:12
Speaker 1: so chill, and the whole world was doing the same thing,
19:16
Speaker 1: so there was no pressure, whereas now it's like I'm pregnant,
19:21
Speaker 1: it's like great, see bright and early Monday.
19:25
Speaker 4: That doesn't matter if you're nauseated or not. Life goes on.
19:29
Speaker 4: You got you've got a baby, now you've got work. Like, yeah,
19:33
Speaker 4: a whole different experience.
19:34
Speaker 1: I'm sure I do want to venture back into what
19:38
Speaker 1: you were saying, Mom. The defining moment because I was
19:41
Speaker 1: talking about the donor. You guys just roll with me
19:44
Speaker 1: on this episode because there's a lot going on and write, yeah, well, episode,
19:50
Speaker 1: but now we've got the add from all three of
19:52
Speaker 1: us plus pregnancy brain is just very hard to balance.
19:57
Speaker 3: Someone commented, just you have add on their podcast.
20:00
Speaker 1: All three of us.
20:01
Speaker 2: Yes, by the way, yes, by the way, okay, anyway,
20:05
Speaker 2: all three of us.
20:07
Speaker 1: But the defining moment, what do you remember from that? Well?
20:12
Speaker 4: He mentioned lions.
20:15
Speaker 1: Mm hmm. His they were animal.
20:17
Speaker 4: It was a lion, and then some wasn't there a
20:20
Speaker 4: song or something?
20:21
Speaker 1: The song that he chose as his favorite and the
20:24
Speaker 1: poem both had to do with the ocean, which this
20:30
Speaker 1: is the donor. So what. I'm not sure how it
20:34
Speaker 1: works with other sperm banks, but with California Cryobank, there
20:39
Speaker 1: are certain My biggest thing was I don't want to
20:42
Speaker 1: see adult pictures. That makes it much too real, much
20:45
Speaker 1: too personal. Like sure, I can look at them as
20:48
Speaker 1: like a little kid, that's cute. Otherwise, and there's a
20:52
Speaker 1: lot of donors who say I don't want to show
20:54
Speaker 1: adult photos. This donor in particular did not grant adult photos.
20:59
Speaker 1: But California Cryobank could see them, so they kind of
21:03
Speaker 1: walked me through because my other thing was I don't
21:05
Speaker 1: care about looks, and you know, genetics are fickle. You
21:08
Speaker 1: could have two people from the same mom and dad
21:10
Speaker 1: and they look nothing alike. Like I get that, but
21:14
Speaker 1: I did say, you know, what does he look like?
21:17
Speaker 1: Because I feel like this baby and we live in
21:22
Speaker 1: Los Angeles, so that's great, but the outside world is funny, right,
21:27
Speaker 1: Not everybody is as progressive as we are. And I
21:30
Speaker 1: just felt like, Okay, I'm bringing this baby into the
21:33
Speaker 1: world because I so badly want it to be here,
21:37
Speaker 1: but I also want to eliminate as many questions as
21:41
Speaker 1: I possibly can. So I was like it, I would
21:45
Speaker 1: prefer that this baby kind of have this same aesthetic
21:49
Speaker 1: look as like me, my mom, ocean. So when they
21:52
Speaker 1: come into this world, it's not only like you don't
21:56
Speaker 1: have a dad because I got you from a donor
22:01
Speaker 1: and you also look at nothing. I just want to
22:03
Speaker 1: eliminate any sort of like toughness for them, because the
22:06
Speaker 1: world is already tough when you come from like a
22:08
Speaker 1: totally normal family. Yeah, I don't want to make it
22:11
Speaker 1: any tougher for them. And you know what, they could
22:13
Speaker 1: go into the world and not have one little problem
22:16
Speaker 1: and they just it's smooth sailing. They're more aloof because
22:19
Speaker 1: kids come how they are, they don't give a damn.
22:21
Speaker 1: Or they could be the type where they do have
22:23
Speaker 1: a lot of questions. Yeah, and there is a way
22:27
Speaker 1: when the child turns eighteen if they do have questions
22:30
Speaker 1: and they want to go and find their dad, they can, Yeah,
22:38
Speaker 1: which California Cryobank will give them access to the donor.
22:42
Speaker 2: Yeah. And and back to sort of your defining moment.
22:45
Speaker 1: Just sorry, I'm all over the place. Door.
22:48
Speaker 2: No, I just know this is this is how it
22:50
Speaker 2: should be.
22:51
Speaker 3: But I'm just kind of because you have sort of
22:54
Speaker 3: teased a couple times, let's say, on Amazon Live. I
22:57
Speaker 3: think mostly of a very specific thing you're excited for
23:01
Speaker 3: that will air on vander Pump and let's just say
23:04
Speaker 3: it has to do with this journey, so very excited
23:09
Speaker 3: for that. You'll sort of see on vander Pump roles
23:11
Speaker 3: this season who Lala chose to help her to choose
23:17
Speaker 3: the donor and stuff like that.
23:18
Speaker 2: It was very positive, very beautiful, and I think we
23:22
Speaker 2: can tease that.
23:22
Speaker 1: Right, I think we absolutely can. It was a way
23:26
Speaker 1: for me to make something that again could be very
23:30
Speaker 1: like isolating and cold, because it's very scientific. You're going
23:34
Speaker 1: in and like being artificially inseminated, which I hate that term. Yeah,
23:40
Speaker 1: it's the worst, it's horrible. But when I've read articles
23:44
Speaker 1: like talking about this process, they'll say, like also known
23:48
Speaker 1: as artificial insemination, right, So for me that's very like
23:52
Speaker 1: scientific jargon cold, like what those robotic me being there.
23:59
Speaker 4: I thought it was really beautiful. I mean, I like,
24:02
Speaker 4: I'm choked out. Oh, just the whole thing. Yeah, I
24:10
Speaker 4: would highly recommend it for people that can't seek.
24:13
Speaker 2: Yeah.
24:14
Speaker 1: Well, I think that's the biggest thing, is like anything
24:20
Speaker 1: can become isolating and cold if you don't like add
24:24
Speaker 1: your own. I just think it's beautiful.
24:32
Speaker 4: I think the way that like the donor came to
24:36
Speaker 4: you in a roundabout way, like there's so many similarities,
24:40
Speaker 4: like the lion.
24:42
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, really really beautiful.
24:47
Speaker 1: Yeah.
24:48
Speaker 4: I just can't wait for this baby to be here.
24:51
Speaker 1: There are moments where I do start freaking out when
24:54
Speaker 1: ocean starts kicking my ass. I'm like, I'm gonna have
24:57
Speaker 1: to what have I done? Stossy was like, don't worry.
25:02
Speaker 1: I like obviously was so excited for Messer to be here,
25:06
Speaker 1: but there were moments where Harvard would act out and
25:09
Speaker 1: I'm like, no, no, I.
25:11
Speaker 2: Can't do too. What did I do?
25:14
Speaker 1: Right? So that is important that not every day I'm
25:17
Speaker 1: sitting here going like I just can't wait when Ocean's
25:21
Speaker 1: really really fucking me up, I'm like, wow, two of.
25:29
Speaker 3: You, are you turning to certain people for you have
25:35
Speaker 3: friends you mentioned Stacy who have.
25:37
Speaker 1: To Stacy and I have gotten extremely close. In fact,
25:40
Speaker 1: she was the second person after you just that I
25:43
Speaker 1: called and told just because we're very in sync in
25:49
Speaker 1: a lot of different ways. Like she loves being a mom.
25:53
Speaker 1: She loves being a mom, right, and so do I.
25:58
Speaker 1: She's also very honest about being a mom. She's also
26:01
Speaker 1: out there, like really working her ass off. So there's
26:05
Speaker 1: just so much that we have in common where we
26:07
Speaker 1: can talk to each other and it just feels like
26:11
Speaker 1: I get what I need from that from that friendship,
26:14
Speaker 1: and I feel like we've become extremely close.
26:19
Speaker 4: Yes, and she can relate when Ocean's kicking your bat,
26:23
Speaker 4: Yes she can.
26:25
Speaker 1: She certainly can't. There was one time I went over
26:28
Speaker 1: to her house and she was like, how do you
26:30
Speaker 1: get Ocean to like just chill, and I was like,
26:33
Speaker 1: I tell her, you know, hitters get hit, biders get bit,
26:36
Speaker 1: you know. I was like, we don't play, and she
26:38
Speaker 1: was like, I just can't picture myself telling Hartford hitters
26:42
Speaker 1: get hit. And I'm like, you're right, it does hit
26:44
Speaker 1: different when you say it. And then when I'm thinking
26:48
Speaker 1: about it, I'm like, I'm driving home and I'm like,
26:50
Speaker 1: Ocean is just the perfect child. And then all of
26:53
Speaker 1: a sudden, overnight just not magical anymore.
26:59
Speaker 4: Become magic again.
27:01
Speaker 1: Yeah she has. Yeah, she's rounded back to match. She's
27:08
Speaker 1: come back to home. Baby like that.
27:10
Speaker 4: She's pushed you to your limit and.
27:12
Speaker 2: Now we're back again.
27:13
Speaker 1: I think she's going to be so good with this
27:15
Speaker 1: baby though.
27:16
Speaker 3: I was just gonna ask, yeah, and I am excited
27:19
Speaker 3: to get into like when you told her and how
27:22
Speaker 3: but you have told her?
27:23
Speaker 1: She knows, Ocean knows. I didn't really tell her in
27:27
Speaker 1: like some big way. Yeah. She wanted to sit on
27:32
Speaker 1: me or something, and I said, Okay, we have to
27:33
Speaker 1: be really careful because guess what, mama has a baby
27:36
Speaker 1: in her belly. She you have a baby in your belly?
27:40
Speaker 4: I say, yeah, let me see see and then she
27:44
Speaker 4: tells us she doesn't have a baby.
27:46
Speaker 2: In her belly.
27:47
Speaker 1: I don't have a baby in my belly. I was like,
27:49
Speaker 1: that is correct, and then she'll she knows because I
27:53
Speaker 1: moved all of her old furniture because we ball on
27:56
Speaker 1: a budget, of course, her old nursery for furniture into
28:01
Speaker 1: a bedroom for the baby. So like we're pretty teed
28:03
Speaker 1: up as far as furniture, Like I have to decorate
28:06
Speaker 1: and make it like its own space right now, just
28:09
Speaker 1: kind of new. Oh she's no, she's got her princess bed.
28:14
Speaker 1: It's very strange. I'm like this, you used to be
28:17
Speaker 1: like this little tiny infant sleeping in a crib and
28:21
Speaker 1: now you're in this big girl bed, I know, with
28:23
Speaker 1: a down comforter.
28:25
Speaker 2: I know.
28:25
Speaker 1: It's very weird. That's all.
28:27
Speaker 4: Yeah, that she needed a bed when she started crawling
28:30
Speaker 4: out of her crib.
28:31
Speaker 1: Yeah, that was intense.
28:33
Speaker 3: About to be a big sister. This I hear for
28:35
Speaker 3: just from friends who have had two. The second you
28:39
Speaker 3: have your little baby, then you're older one that like
28:44
Speaker 3: was the baby, You're like, oh my god, You're like
28:46
Speaker 3: you're like not in it.
28:48
Speaker 2: You're like grown. Yeah, And it's crazy.
28:50
Speaker 3: And what's crazier just bringing this back because in my mind,
28:55
Speaker 3: my sister is just weeks behind you.
28:57
Speaker 1: I know, isn't that crazy?
28:59
Speaker 2: That is crazy.
29:00
Speaker 3: I found out my sister was pregnant just like a
29:03
Speaker 3: few weeks after.
29:04
Speaker 1: Law But if we both had our babies on the
29:06
Speaker 1: exact same day.
29:07
Speaker 3: I told Katie, I said, of course, like pros and cons,
29:10
Speaker 3: But the two most important women in my life besides
29:14
Speaker 3: my mom, are having babies at the same time. I'm
29:16
Speaker 3: so excited about I told Katie. I said, I will
29:20
Speaker 3: be in the hospital and Lawa's having her baby, but
29:22
Speaker 3: I'll I said, so, I'll probably be there the day
29:24
Speaker 3: after for you.
29:25
Speaker 2: I don't think you guys are having a.
29:27
Speaker 1: We're definitely not. Do you know why on your birthday?
29:31
Speaker 1: What if I have my baby on my birthday? Did
29:33
Speaker 1: you just call it a hurt? I did? Do you
29:35
Speaker 1: think it's a Girl's a girl?
29:37
Speaker 2: I don't know.
29:40
Speaker 1: Everyone I've never heard you say if.
29:43
Speaker 3: You did that, because I'm talking about Katie and my sister.
29:46
Speaker 2: I don't know.
29:47
Speaker 1: Maybe yeah, in a way, I kind of feel like
29:53
Speaker 1: it's a girl because I heard girls still your beauty
29:56
Speaker 1: and I look busted as well. I was saying, everyone's
30:02
Speaker 1: gorgeous you're glowing by very nice? Are different? Is there
30:07
Speaker 1: like anything that would indicate maybe it's a different gender
30:09
Speaker 1: from no? Nothing?
30:11
Speaker 4: Are you? Do you have the same morning sickness?
30:14
Speaker 1: Like that's today. That's what's so hard, is like, let's
30:18
Speaker 1: just say I got to lay in bed all day
30:20
Speaker 1: and just eat all day long. I don't think I'd
30:22
Speaker 1: be nauseated, right well, which is what I got to
30:26
Speaker 1: do during the pandemic with ocean. I'm like, was I nauseated?
30:28
Speaker 1: I wouldn't even know because I just laid there all day.
30:32
Speaker 4: Like yesterday, she was nauseated and I asked her, have
30:34
Speaker 4: you eaten?
30:35
Speaker 1: And I did, though I had two waffles.
30:40
Speaker 2: That's not the media, that's the thing. It's the work.
30:44
Speaker 1: It's working. Like I shove food in my face just
30:47
Speaker 1: to like get a little something, and then I go
30:49
Speaker 1: out into the world because I have to make money
30:51
Speaker 1: right to support now two children and my other two
30:55
Speaker 1: children household. And then next thing I know, I'm bent
31:02
Speaker 1: over the toilet being like why am I so sick?
31:04
Speaker 4: And it's like, oh, oh, last night we went to
31:09
Speaker 4: in and out Burger, Yeah.
31:10
Speaker 1: And wait a whole save it for Wednesday.
31:13
Speaker 4: I said, I'm telling you that she you hurled the
31:16
Speaker 4: out out burger.
31:17
Speaker 1: It's fine.
31:18
Speaker 3: Well, I'm excited for you to talk really dive deep
31:21
Speaker 3: in Wednesday's episode.
31:23
Speaker 1: So I love a deep dive, Love a deep dive.
31:26
Speaker 1: I love you, guys. Thank you so much for listening
31:28
Speaker 1: to the bonus episode of the Give Them La La podcast.
31:31
Speaker 1: Send me positive vibes and I will send you the same.
31:34
Speaker 1: I will catch you next week