Latest / Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash / #189 Baby Blankets & A Bunk Bed Breakdown

Transcript

#189 Baby Blankets & A Bunk Bed Breakdown · Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Matt I just want to start this episode with the
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: small gripe I've got not with you great continue it's
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: with all of the bathroom automations that are infuriating because
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: they don't all work. So s just got back from
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: America the other week. In the bathrooms, they've got the
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: mirror that has the tap in it right, the soap
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: and the dryer, ye, all under the one Yes, there's
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: always one thing that doesn't work. Bring back the old faucet.
• 0:30
  Speaker 2: You want to have them segregated or you want to
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: I want.
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: The faucet back. I literally went to three different ones
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: to try and wash my hand.
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: I don't think anyone's asking for the censor the water sensor.
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: No, not one person I know has said I thank
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: God for the water.
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: And if you're the person who's requesting it, then stop it.
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: You're the problem.
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: You are the problem.
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: Welcome back to two Don't Dads. I am Mattie Jay
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: and I'm as And this is a podcast all about parenting.
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: It is the good, it is the bad and related.
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: If you come for advice wrong podcast, turn around, stop
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: the car, stop the car, indicate turn around you've made
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: a big mistake.
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: I will turn this car around, Matthew.
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: Before we started this episode, I thought housekeeping was pretty
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: light on and then.
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: It builds up quick, doesn't it Just it's a full
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: time job.
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: It's a full time job. Just think you're on It's
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: like the laundry. You think you're on top of it
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: all and you're like, oh, they'll be easy, and then
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: you turn around, come back, chuckle block.
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: You miss a day. All of a sudden, you have
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: ten loads to the next day. Unbelievable for me.
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: Then okay, so just really quickly, I didn't really tell
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: you this because you keep a secrets from me. Let's
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: keep a secrets. But Marley had an audition. Now this
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: is not she does do dance on a Thursday. It's separate.
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: This is a dance that's in the school, like a
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: morning you drop them off early. They do it before school.
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: It's part of the school program.
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: Opposed to being an out of school activity. It's an
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: in school like, you get it.
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: We're on the same page. And I think they've done
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: this as a genius bit of marketing the school. So
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: they have done auditions. Okay, so kids have to learn
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: a dance routine. They come to the school on audition morning.
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: They all then perform the dance they are auditioning for
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: a role in the dance group for their grade.
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: Can I just say please? They're very young. Are they
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: really going to turn around to a six year old
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: and be like?
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: That's what a lot of the parents were saying. They
• 2:51
  Speaker 2: were like, you know, we're all kind of saying, how
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: are you going with the because it was a hard
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: dance to learn as well, and everyone was learning it,
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: and we were kind of like we drop the kids
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: off and we're like, oh, good luck, hopefully they get it.
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: And I was thinking to myself, are they really going
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: to turn away?
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, no, you can't do it?
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: And then I saw the fees. Okay, it's very for
• 3:13
  Speaker 2: a year. We're talking like eight hundred bucks?
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: Are they going to dance for you?
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: But I think what they've done here is they've done
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: the audition. Like deter parents, No, I think they've done
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: They've done the audition as they're like, the kids really
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: want it, they really want it now because they might
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: not get it. So I'm yet to find a parent
• 3:35
  Speaker 2: who hasn't received the congratulations your child has been selected email.
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: Everyone's got that email, and I think they just make
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: it seem like there's pretty limited spots here.
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: So they try extra hard and do extra work and
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: put more in, or you're not.
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: Fucking picking up.
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: I'm not, and I don't appreciate the language.
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry. I think. Okay, it's a bit.
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: Break it down to me if if I was a
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: six year old.
• 3:59
  Speaker 2: It's a bit like a rug company says, we're closing down.
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: Interesting choice, we're closing down. There's a sale. You create
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: a sense of urgency. Okay, there's only a couple of
• 4:11
  Speaker 2: rugs left, they're all half priced, Come and get your rug.
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: Are they closing down? No, they're not.
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: It's a mind game. It's a mind game.
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: I think this is a mind game that they've done
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: to make it seem like if you get a position
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: in the dance group, you're very lucky.
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: So that makes people want to get in and then
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: pay the eight hundred bucks, and that means that's going
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: to get more people that if it wasn't that much
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: of yeah, whatever.
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: But because all the kids and the parents also so
• 4:38
  Speaker 2: proud the child has been selected from the audition process,
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: they're like, how could I say no to the opportunity
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: that she's been given? Because she's been selected, she's won
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: it through the audition.
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: Okay, I'm with you now. Did they tell you how
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: many spots there were? What to start off with you, Jack,
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: I sa I didn't.
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: I didn't ask. I didn't ask.
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: Well because but anyway I limited.
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: Will I pay it? Yes? I will?
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: Well, of course you can't break poor Marley's heart so
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: much efforty. This is where they got you. They got
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: you again, they got you more than one. Now we're
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: on the same path they got you the first time
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: with the rug sale. And now you're in there and
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: Marley really likes the rug. You can't leave without said rug.
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: I have to get the rug.
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: The rug has to be I'm picking it up.
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: Sorry, not just to you, but to the listeners. We're here.
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: We took the scene. It routans to me. But okay,
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: so she made it in other words correct. So if
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: you didn't or if you didn't practice and you went
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: and just were like I want to be in, were
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: they going to be like, you're not going to come in?
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: Maybe?
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: I doubt it. There's got to be some people that, okay,
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: and of all the people that audition, there's gonna be
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: something that will crap I think we can move on
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: for the okay. Actually a goot, quick quick dance update
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: for you, Macie.
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: So I'm drinking this colbrah. That's like I'm drinking petrol.
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: Wow, you don't have ADHD because coffee works for you.
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: Seems to got something.
• 6:05
  Speaker 2: I find out what it is.
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: You need to get tested. Macy has started ballet very late.
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: What took you so long?
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: Not me? Honestly, I didn't know what's here. It wasn't me.
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: I didn't know she was even doing it. I only
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: found out she was doing it two weeks in from
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: who April? What they've done it behind my back? And
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: my mom came down to look after the kids and
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: she gifted Macy ill it's hard And I was like,
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: what's that for. I was like, is this for swimming?
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: She was like, no, it's for ballet. I'm like, who's
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: doing ballet? She's like your daughter. I was like, Nah,
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: wrong family, You're the wrong family. And then I found
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: out she's doing ballet. But she fucking loves it. She's
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: very good at it, she's very passionate.
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: What is she learning? Learn age?
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: But let's go back to the late in the year.
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: Two weeks she's a two two weeks. She has a
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: dance concert next week. Holy Jesus, that's how advanced my
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: children are, Matthew, you they only need two weeks?
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: No, when did the other kids start learning?
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: January?
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: Okay? All right, So she'll be.
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: At the back of the chilly front and center d
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: right now?
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: She is? She is.
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: It's one lake. She does this thing where she goes
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: and for the listener. It's called I don't know what
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: you came, it's like and she.
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: Goes one way and then she extended out.
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: Of very graceful. I'll try and get it next time.
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: She is a full outfit.
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: Where is the dance?
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: No idea, no idea. Two weeks in and she's good,
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: She's good to go. She loves it.
• 7:38
  Speaker 2: I'm so proud of it.
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: I'm actually happy that she's she's doing it because she
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: really really likes that.
• 7:43
  Speaker 2: Is that her one thing? What does she do? What else?
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: Is that?
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: She has a swim lessons that in ballet? Is that it?
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you have no idea. She'd be doing heaps and things.
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: I don't know. She could be in Uni. I have
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: no idea, but I do take it to swimming on Thursdays.
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: And she's very good at that too though. Yeah, but
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: also yes, just do you know how I know that?
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: Because last week, last week I took her and it
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: was safety week. Have you heard of safety week?
• 8:08
  Speaker 2: You've never heard of it?
• 8:08
  Speaker 3: Okay, So what they do is they in the pool,
• 8:11
  Speaker 3: so you do the swimming lesson but without you know,
• 8:14
  Speaker 3: they have to have a swim cap and goggles, no goggles,
• 8:17
  Speaker 3: and you put one of their T shirts on.
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: So it's like replicating if they accidentally fall in fully closed,
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: they must be kids?
• 8:24
  Speaker 2: What the fuck is this about?
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: Now, she's just fifty meters sprint up the pool. She
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: was an animal?
• 8:29
  Speaker 2: What about head down shoes on?
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: No, maybe that's next class.
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: To make it fun, put them full tucks ash calendars.
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: We just want to say before we share this information,
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: this is going to be emotional. If you're standing, please
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: take a seat.
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: It's going to be really upset.
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: If you're sitting, get ready, because unfortunately the call has
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: been made and this is not like, this is not
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: a marketing ploy.
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: We didn't take this decision, but just I want to say,
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: this is this is not We're.
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: Not going to then really the calendar next week and
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: be like, oh, quickly. This is a firm this is
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: set in stone. The calendar in the next year will
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: be teash m i A.
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: They will not be We will not be doing a
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: twenty twenty six calendar.
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: But just do you want to give the listeners a
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: second to just like I gather themselves.
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: That's enough. But we could bring it back the following year.
• 9:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you never know too much. I blame Poppy for this.
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: I didn't want to say it, but this, this is
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: Poppies doing.
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: She came at a time when we would normally be
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: in the thick of training for the calendar. Preparation wise, you.
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: Trained, I did train. I trained Bintang Body by Bintang
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: last year.
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: But if people do have a calendar, just enjoy that December.
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's good.
• 9:46
  Speaker 2: It's a good photo ash to myself hosing ourselves down.
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: You could reuse that calendar if you're willing to mathematically
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: jump a day forward for the following year.
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: Were people actually using the calendar?
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: I think they were using it for smart Yeah, more more. Yeah,
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: NaN's going to be so upset. It's not going to
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: get to see a fresh set of Maddie j.
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: And I'll I'll keep her updated with photos.
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: And later in this AP I do have an update
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: on Nan just so Okay, something has stumbled across my desk,
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: Matthew that I really think the listener and you need
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: to know, especially there's always talk about summer bods, you know,
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: coming to summer beach, bikini, bikini bod. I've found some
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: extensive research that's been done, and I'm gonna lay it
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: on you right now.
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: Is this breaking news?
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: This is not we call it breaking news, but I'm
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: going to call it. It's breaking research that's really going
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: to help the listener and yourself. Maybe not you, because
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: you're quite You're quite athletic. Okay, that's a compliment, Thank you.
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: I want more than that.
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: I'm really sorry. I was playing to cool.
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: Okay. Research suggests that just thinking about the gym is
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: just as effective as actually going.
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: Who the fuck has said that?
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: I don't know, but I believe it, because you know,
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: I feel like I need anything at this point to
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: get my summer body back.
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: And I don't want to say I don't believe you.
• 11:11
  Speaker 2: I don't want to call you out on your stats
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: because I think the breaking news slash breaking research is
• 11:15
  Speaker 2: a great segment that I want to continue for a
• 11:17
  Speaker 2: long time. But I just think of it about the
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: credentials of the podcast.
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: I'm not worried about that whatsoever. I'm worried about my body.
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: And honestly, I'm actually going to say that that research
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: is flawed because I've been thinking about the gym all
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: year and I still look like this.
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: Have you though?
• 11:33
  Speaker 3: No?
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: But I just thought it was interesting and I think
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: we've been lied to by the fitness industry and that
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: we should just be thinking about it instead of going.
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: There'd be a lot less drama if you ask me,
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: there you have it?
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: Do you have it? Guys, do you have it? You're welcome.
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: You can always rely on me to bring the truth.
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: So bring the truth to this podcast.
• 11:56
  Speaker 2: Last little bit of housekeeping. Yep, again, I told you
• 11:59
  Speaker 2: it was Chocker's. It is it. We've come to the
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: other housekeeping. There is a parenting hack. Oh we love
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: that ash in the Facebook group. This is from Hannah.
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: This new segment called hack from Hannah. Hannah.
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: It says, this is a great parenting hack. Listen in.
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: If you've got treats and you don't want the kids
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: to find, stash them in a frozen veggie bag in
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: the freezer because kids never looked there.
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so as they see a veggie on something and
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: that the thing is with that genius first of all, Hannah,
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: absolute genius. Here's a little look that's great. I love
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: that is a box of favorites in a corn kernel
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: frozen thing. And honestly, if I'm Cabri right now, I'm
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: rethinking my whole marketing around the box of favorites because
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: there's no kids, because I have money, So don't put
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: it in the box, put it in just pre do.
• 12:58
  Speaker 2: It for it. I have another parenting hack that I
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: can just quickly drop in here made someone said the
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: best place to hide Christmas presents is in a suitcase
• 13:08
  Speaker 2: that they have in the living room because they said
• 13:10
  Speaker 2: it never goes away off the back of a trip
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: they took six months ago. I don't know if you
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: saw when you came in today there was a big suitcase,
• 13:16
  Speaker 2: two of them. Yeah, that's been there for bloody ages.
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah. And I was like, that is such a
• 13:21
  Speaker 2: great place to hide the Christmas presents.
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: In plain sight. Do you know what I did? And
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: this is not parenting hack, this is pre engaged hack, yep,
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: because we know how hard it is to hide a
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: big purchase from your partner at the time, in terms
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: of buying a ring for engagement. So there's that. But
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: then once you have it, and that's nervous and nerve
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: wracking enough. You've got something that's quite substantially expensive in
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: and around. Where do I hide it? You freak out?
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: You think I gotta find I hid aprils on our
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: dresser in our bedroom for three months, literally in plain sight.
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: And she didn't see it at all, like in a box.
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: It was in a box in like a knickknack box
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: that she would rummage through. Didn't even see it.
• 14:06
  Speaker 2: That is bold.
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: I was like, you know what, if she finds it,
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: it's a funny story, the.
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: Arrogance of the man.
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: I just thought, stuff it.
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: She found it, and then when you propaly, she was like, oh,
• 14:16
  Speaker 2: what a surprise.
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: I thought about that. Ouch out, ouch out. But two
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: very good hacks in plain sight. Veggie is a good
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: one because it's usually the first thing they learn about
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: when they go to school because of the alphabet and
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: the corresponding veggie. So if they see carrot frozen carrot,
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: like yeah, oh, she had no interest whatsoever. Whack, there's
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: chocolate in there, you sucker.
• 14:39
  Speaker 2: Ash, I'm dying to hear about your nan.
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: That's funny you mentioned dying because this story is about that.
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: She's not dead, thank god.
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: I want to add chuck that in there real quick.
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: But my nan, who is a very big fan of
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: the calendar. She doesn't know what a podcast is.
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: She collects spoons, if I'm not mistaken.
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: She collects spoons, Elvis memorabilia, and two doting dad calendars.
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: She's got a garage for Is this your mom's my
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: dad's mom, your dad's mom. Yeah, if you spent any
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: time with her, you would know. She's definitely from the outside.
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: Of the face.
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: She's in the in a west, in a west, No,
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: out of west, Yeah, she's way out there. No, it's Maryland's.
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: She called herself the Queen of Marylands, which she kind
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: of is, and this kind of would maybe help that case.
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: She is quite she's getting quite old, but she's really
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: really with it. She is quick as a whip, and
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: I love that eighty eight Wow, yeah good. She lives
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: on her own and quite often I go over to
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: see her.
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: Will she make one hundred? Do you think? Yeah?
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: Easy?
• 15:40
  Speaker 2: Love that.
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: Jesus touched all the wood in this house. Oh God,
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: hang in there, I think so. Yeah. But she anyway,
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: I do go out and visit her quite a bit.
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: Very good, Thank you, very good. I thank you. The
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: traffic's terrible.
• 15:59
  Speaker 2: I call you and you're like dumping back from n oh.
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: Man takes me forever. I stay out there a lot too,
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: because it's like she's on her own, also getting away
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: from the kids. But she could talk the leg off
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: a chair, that's for sure. I wonder where I get
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: it from. Anyway, every time I go out there, she
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: saw something obscure, like she's on the roof or some
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: ship fixed and a tile. She just one of those
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: people that has to do everything herself. Blah blah blah.
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: And I'll be honest, there's a during COVID.
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: Can I just say as she's not lying. I think
• 16:28
  Speaker 2: it was four weeks ago.
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: You came over and she was like, oh, yeah, she
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: was on she was.
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: Like noil gun in hand, fixing the room.
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah, she was fixing one of the tiles on the roof.
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: I was like, how did you get up there?
• 16:38
  Speaker 2: She was like, I climbed up.
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, how did you get a roof tile
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: up there? She's like, I climbed up with the rooftile,
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: Like I'm the idiot anyway, I was like, can you
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: get down? But during COVID, I used to you know
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: how strict it was, we can't leave your suburb. I
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: changed my address of my license to her house so
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: that I could come and go as I please, and
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: I would stay there quite often, and I would get
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: out there it's a day and she's not opposed to
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: a midday nap. I used to have to check her pulse. Yes,
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: walk in, go to the couch, check a pulse and
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: she go ooh, wake up. But she recently took a
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: trip to Tasmania with my sister to see her brother,
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: and she had come back. And then I went out
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: to see her a couple of days after that, and
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: the first thing she said to me, she just launched
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: into this story, and she said, my neighbors thought I
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: was dead. Did you know that? I was like, how
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: am I supposed to know that? You didn't tell me that.
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: So what's happened is she has come home from this
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: trip exhausted, fallen asleep in the bed which is at
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: the front front of the house. Windows, oh, everything open,
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: like you'd think she was dead. The neighbor was trying
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: to wake her up because I hadn't heard from her.
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: They knew she was going to be back. They always
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: check on it, which is lovely, and shout out to
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: them and nothing, no movement. The cat was in there.
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: The cat was asleep next to her, because they do
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: say the cat's cat.
• 18:00
  Speaker 2: Cats will eat you.
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: Anyway, I'll get there, and the cat was like, sorry,
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: shut up anyway, so knocking. Then they go get some
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: more neighbors try and find a way into the house
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: because she's so exhausted. They're like, she's fucking dead. Yeah,
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: mouth open, and then the police turn up. The two
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: ambulances turn up, and she finally comes to and wakes up.
• 18:24
  Speaker 4: She's surrounded by the police. They'd broken in through the door.
• 18:31
  Speaker 4: They're surrounding it like she was dead, and she was like, oh,
• 18:34
  Speaker 4: like this and they.
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: Were like, we thought we thought that you would, you
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: would you would part and they're like, what made you
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: think that? And they were like, oh, we couldn't wake
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: you up. And the cat was in and around you.
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: And when you die, if you're a cat owner, the cat,
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: the first thing they do is they eat you. And
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: she was like that explains the bite marks. So the
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: cat even thought she was dead, and she was like,
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: you can imagine my shock when I wake up from
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: a nice little nap and there's I'm surrounded by police.
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: And power in front of her.
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: She's like, they're not the only people thought I was dead.
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: I thought I was dead anyway.
• 19:17
  Speaker 2: But she for fixing the door, by the.
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: Way, I think the neighbor just fixed it. I think
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: that because she's got like one of those security screens,
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: because she's lives in quite a hairy suburb. Mind you,
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: she slept right overnight through that.
• 19:29
  Speaker 2: They the next day, people wondering there was a shooting
• 19:32
  Speaker 2: in the area.
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: They're you always hear shootings in the area. But it was, well,
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: I've lost my train of thought.
• 19:41
  Speaker 2: It happens, so that's gone.
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: That's got. What was I saying?
• 19:46
  Speaker 2: What was what story is that there was a shooting?
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, are no what just happened? Someone just like,
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: am I dead? Anyway?
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: And then the next thing she literally, what just happened?
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: In min That's that was what my brain looked like.
• 20:09
  Speaker 2: Someone just.
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: Anyway. She's completely fine, thank god, But the whole ordeal
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: and actually that's what brings me back to the Queen
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: of Maryland. She was actually quite flattered by the whole experience.
• 20:22
  Speaker 2: Oh yes, good to know people care.
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: She was like, I didn't think that many people cared
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: about me.
• 20:25
  Speaker 2: The whole neighborhood was over pretend that I'm dead more often.
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: It's just like I'm concerned with how easy I die.
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: I was like, you're fine anyway, Nan, shout out to you.
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: You never listened to a podcast. You're never going to
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: hear this, but it's good to know you're still with it.
• 20:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah, tell her, I say hi for now. Ah. Yes,
• 20:45
  Speaker 2: a couple of stories for you. I'd like to tell
• 20:47
  Speaker 2: you one that my mother told. Tell me if you
• 20:51
  Speaker 2: think this is an appropriate story to tell a six
• 20:53
  Speaker 2: year old.
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: I'm going to tell you right now, it's not going
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: to be.
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: I can tell it's nothing too juicy. We were in
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: the car I was driving My mom. Lovely Nana Bless
• 21:04
  Speaker 2: the Cotton Socks, was in the passenger seat. In the
• 21:06
  Speaker 2: back was Marley and Lola for those wondering, Marley's six,
• 21:09
  Speaker 2: Lola's four, and.
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: As they should be in the back of the car.
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: Thank you just for the place, and we are.
• 21:15
  Speaker 2: All adhering to the appropriate road rules in this household.
• 21:19
  Speaker 2: But my mom was like, we're talking about Santa Claus
• 21:22
  Speaker 2: and my mom, who loves a random fact, oh yeah,
• 21:26
  Speaker 2: she would just spit it out. She's like, do you
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: know where the name when Mill comes from? And you're like,
• 21:31
  Speaker 2: here we go. And she goes to Marley, like over
• 21:34
  Speaker 2: at shoulder in the car. There's a long car trip, so,
• 21:37
  Speaker 2: you know, searching for some conversation, and she goes, do
• 21:40
  Speaker 2: you know why Santa Claus wears red?
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: Oh god?
• 21:45
  Speaker 2: And I was like, maybe I don't know.
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: I don't even know this, so I'm going to learn to.
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: Malie is like, because it's his favorite color. Good answer.
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: Should have just said yes, yes.
• 21:55
  Speaker 2: My mom goes, well, actually, Marley, oh god, we actually
• 21:59
  Speaker 2: Santa used to be green. And the reason why Santa
• 22:04
  Speaker 2: is now red is because Coca Cola round a marketing
• 22:09
  Speaker 2: campaign where they dress Santa in red because they were
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: wanting to promote the product around Christmas time more I
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: have more people purchase Coca Cola. Since then, Santa Claus
• 22:20
  Speaker 2: is now.
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: Read And I was like, I wonder how much he
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: got paid for that?
• 22:25
  Speaker 2: What the fuck are you saying?
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: That's an amazing marketing campaign I will say, will say
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: still credit where credit is you?
• 22:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, well done, Coca Cola.
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: I won't know what sort of pool you have to
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: have to change it to a different color. Let's do
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: it on.
• 22:39
  Speaker 2: But I was like, what are you saying? Moment She's
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: like what it's interesting? I said, yeah, but fuck it.
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: Talk about tacking the magic at.
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: A Christmas You pretty much brand Horde Santa Yeah.
• 22:51
  Speaker 2: And Marley is like a sponge. Sometimes she's into something,
• 22:55
  Speaker 2: she just locks in. So now she's been telling everyone.
• 22:58
  Speaker 2: She's like, you know why Santa Claus w red? And
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: I'm like, just it doesn't have the same feel about
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: it when you talk about Santa Claus being a victim
• 23:06
  Speaker 2: of great marketing from Coca Cola.
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like, well, how do you explain the white cocaine?
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: Like for good? Sound like what are we thinking? Ellie,
• 23:15
  Speaker 2: who's the name of my mom? And she's like what
• 23:18
  Speaker 2: And I'm like, I just is it real?
• 23:20
  Speaker 3: Is it me?
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: That's really real? When did this happen?
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: So in the nineteen thirties didn't start him wearing red,
• 23:27
  Speaker 2: but just really popularized him wearing red? Is that so? Yeah? Yeah,
• 23:32
  Speaker 2: there you go.
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: That is an amazing fact.
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: Ellie.
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: But also not for a child, am I?
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah? Right right?
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: At least is not inappropriate.
• 23:39
  Speaker 2: It's inappropriate.
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: I was expecting way more inappropriate from your mum. But
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: it tells me. Tell that story to fix I'm intrigued.
• 23:49
  Speaker 2: Don't tell it to a six year old.
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: I want to know. Okay, let me ask you a question.
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: If a brand these days we're going to do the
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: same campaign, which brand do you think it would be?
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: And what color do you think Santa would end up being?
• 24:01
  Speaker 2: McDonald's yellow? Oh?
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: God, really hit that hard? And I think you bang on?
• 24:06
  Speaker 2: Thank you?
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: Even Amazon yellow? Can you imagine the big man in yellow?
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: Quite flattering?
• 24:12
  Speaker 2: Amazon orange?
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: Let's agree to disagree. But hey, that's good, but not freshot.
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: I will be having a word to your mom.
• 24:22
  Speaker 2: I do have one more, just quick little mention. Yep,
• 24:25
  Speaker 2: go on unless no, I don't want to.
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: I've got nothing, okay, I don't mind, prepares.
• 24:32
  Speaker 2: I don't know if this has ever happened to you.
• 24:35
  Speaker 2: Just very quickly, Ash, just this is like a p
• 24:37
  Speaker 2: s A.
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: The e bike. Yeah, my e bike. I don't know
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: what you're you have a different one to be Surely
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: Santa's sleigh is now electric the same doesn't need to be.
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: It's the Ranges electric petrol. It was diesel one time.
• 24:55
  Speaker 2: It runs on.
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: I guess the good stuff on the eight.
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: Sorry please. So the e bike, my one has a
• 25:04
  Speaker 2: kickstand where it's like a little prong either side either side. Yes,
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: thank you, like a like a chicken wish, like a wishbone. Yeah.
• 25:12
  Speaker 2: So you like you put it down, you're then like
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: a scooter.
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, okay, And so.
• 25:15
  Speaker 2: The back wheel is then elevated, so you like pull
• 25:18
  Speaker 2: it back on itself. Back wheel elevated, little prong either side, well,
• 25:22
  Speaker 2: explained Boom. The issue is sometimes if the floor is
• 25:29
  Speaker 2: not quite level and you lean like the kids sometimes
• 25:33
  Speaker 2: got to climb up on the bike to get up
• 25:35
  Speaker 2: on it, and it's not level, and I'm like, fuck,
• 25:37
  Speaker 2: be careful the things that will fall down. And you
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: know it weighs a ton the size, it's like a
• 25:40
  Speaker 2: huge hog.
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, mine, it's massive. That's what she said, thank you.
• 25:46
  Speaker 2: I was racing at the door very late.
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: You late shut.
• 25:52
  Speaker 2: So I got the bike out and then put the
• 25:55
  Speaker 2: prong down, put the kids on the bike. Realize, hang
• 25:58
  Speaker 2: on a second, Oh gosh, where's my helmet?
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: You check your pockets.
• 26:04
  Speaker 2: Helmet was in the garage, so I thought, kids are
• 26:07
  Speaker 2: just the kids throw the bike. I said to them,
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: don't lean.
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: You told us six and a four year old not
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: to lean.
• 26:16
  Speaker 4: They're like what.
• 26:20
  Speaker 2: So I quickly run get my helmet. As I'm inside
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: the garage, I turn around and the bike it was
• 26:27
  Speaker 2: slow motion. It was just and my kids looked at
• 26:33
  Speaker 2: me like dotty, and I'm now I try to run
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: to catch the bike before it hits the deck because
• 26:43
  Speaker 2: it's quite behind. The bike falls over with both my
• 26:46
  Speaker 2: children in the back of the bike, onto the foot
• 26:51
  Speaker 2: onto the footpath.
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: Oh helmets on, obviously.
• 26:54
  Speaker 2: Helmets on, Thank heavens.
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: But the screams, oh mate, I can imagine the gurgle
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: screams coming from two girls who didn't lean.
• 27:03
  Speaker 2: And I was embarrassed. And the annoying thing was one
• 27:06
  Speaker 2: of my neighbors who I don't really know, happened to
• 27:09
  Speaker 2: be walking past, and she was lovely. She was trying
• 27:12
  Speaker 2: to help the situation. And I'm there like screaming, kids
• 27:16
  Speaker 2: like trump pull the bike back up, and she's there
• 27:19
  Speaker 2: being like, oh my god, let me help you. And
• 27:21
  Speaker 2: I was like, it's okay, it's okay, and she then
• 27:24
  Speaker 2: stood there and the kids were like, Daddy, what.
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: Like you pushed them?
• 27:29
  Speaker 2: And I was like, is anyone her? And then she's
• 27:31
  Speaker 2: still standing there and I was kind of like, oh,
• 27:33
  Speaker 2: thank you very much.
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: Can you fuck off? Seriously? I know?
• 27:39
  Speaker 2: And I was also so late as well, and I
• 27:41
  Speaker 2: was just like, this is that I need right now.
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: To crying kids on the back of the back and.
• 27:45
  Speaker 2: I'm there trying to comfort my kids as this woman's
• 27:48
  Speaker 2: seeing if she can offer any assistance, but also kind
• 27:51
  Speaker 2: of judging me as you would.
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: But also gat she didn't. She hung around.
• 27:56
  Speaker 2: I was like, and then I'd literally was just like,
• 27:58
  Speaker 2: get the funk.
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: Out of here. The problem is with also getting them
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: back on the bike and trying to get out of
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: there as quickly as possible. Then you're going to look
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: like a guy's kidnap two kids.
• 28:05
  Speaker 2: Right. I feel for you, But if she's listening, she's
• 28:12
  Speaker 2: probably not.
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: But she's actually right here's still she's in at the
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: crimes thing where you pushed your children off the e bike, mate,
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: and then like getting here in the bike the next
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: morning traumatized.
• 28:27
  Speaker 2: The thing about kids, they're so easily traumatized.
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: I get over it. Just suppress it like us and
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: then in your thirties, bring it back up that fucking
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: e bike. I'll get you, Matt. We haven't done this
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: in a little while, but I didn't want to say that.
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: Oh to the listeners like that, Yeah, you're quick witted
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: on that one. Where was I've I've been shot with
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: a dranquiser again. But we haven't done parentgialized little wile.
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: We've got a couple of quick ones. We just want
• 28:59
  Speaker 1: to just read very quick, yeah, very quick.
• 29:01
  Speaker 2: This will be honestly, it's a flash in the pan.
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: But it's good to hear this song again. Tell me loud,
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: tell me little love, Matt, I'll go first. We have
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: received this in the Facebook group which is Thriving from Jessica.
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: From jess Jessica, however you like to be called Jesse,
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: I don't mind. It is written as Jessica in my
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: notes here it says jess. Well, look, I'm here to
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: save time a little parenting lie. I told my two
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: and a half year old yesterday she loves to jingle
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: the decorations on the Christmas tree, so I told her
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: that if she knocked the tree down, then Santa wouldn't
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: know where to put the presents so far, so good.
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: They do love a ball ball. They smash them because
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: they think they're going to bounce back up.
• 29:52
  Speaker 2: I know. I did a post in the two Doting
• 29:54
  Speaker 2: Day Instagram page of Christmas trees in the households where
• 29:58
  Speaker 2: there's a toddler and all the like the f thing
• 30:00
  Speaker 2: that you have to do, yeah, or like you decorate
• 30:02
  Speaker 2: it just from like kind of chest up.
• 30:04
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think you got a better chance of actually
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: fencing the kid in and leaving the tree to flourish.
• 30:10
  Speaker 2: This one is from my sister, this Panting Life, and
• 30:13
  Speaker 2: it happened this morning because we were at the cafe.
• 30:16
  Speaker 2: I got a coffee, She got a coffee with our kids,
• 30:20
  Speaker 2: Lola and little Chazy mcgazzy, who's my niece. Shut up
• 30:23
  Speaker 2: the chassy and we got them a chocolate cookie. Cut
• 30:26
  Speaker 2: it in half, and my niece ate like half of
• 30:30
  Speaker 2: her half, so there's like a quarter left. And I
• 30:33
  Speaker 2: was like, you're going to finish that chat and she goes,
• 30:35
  Speaker 2: I can't, and I was like why not. She's like,
• 30:38
  Speaker 2: I'll get butt worms and I was like what the
• 30:42
  Speaker 2: old chocolate butt Yeah. I was like what do you mean?
• 30:45
  Speaker 2: And she was like you know, like the butt worms
• 30:47
  Speaker 2: you get when you have too much sugar. This is
• 30:49
  Speaker 2: going and yeah, yeah, yeah, She's like fucking play a lot.
• 30:54
  Speaker 2: And I was like, okay, and my sister goes, yeah,
• 30:56
  Speaker 2: that's right, because you know, when you have too much sugar,
• 30:59
  Speaker 2: then the butt were come. That's because they like the
• 31:01
  Speaker 2: like the sugar that comes out with you pooh. And
• 31:04
  Speaker 2: I was like, oh, okay, that's good. That's pretty good.
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: That's good because I mean, I always think like I'm
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: not going to associate sugar with worms, but now I am.
• 31:13
  Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, but.
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: Worms the scientific name for them.
• 31:17
  Speaker 2: I mean, I don't maybe someone did get worms in
• 31:19
  Speaker 2: their household, but it's good.
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: I think that's a good one.
• 31:22
  Speaker 2: It's a banger.
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: If you've got any other little ones like that, send
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: him on him. We'll try and read them wheneveryone can,
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: whenever we have time, busy schedules. But matt this will
• 31:31
  Speaker 1: be quick, well two minutes.
• 31:33
  Speaker 2: Plenty of times I'm to be you're here. I'm home. Yeah,
• 31:38
  Speaker 2: I'm fine.
• 31:39
  Speaker 3: You.
• 31:39
  Speaker 1: On the other hand, I'm not leaving, Matthew. This is
• 31:43
  Speaker 1: a question from the Wicked household, which happens to be
• 31:45
  Speaker 1: my household, because I live there too. But it's from
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: my wife specifically, because she's warrior Warts sometimes shout out
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: to April. Shout out to April.
• 31:52
  Speaker 2: She's still listening every episode.
• 31:54
  Speaker 1: No, she was at the start, Yeah, she dropped off.
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: Imagine having to listen to me at home and then
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: getting going anywhere and listening to me again. Sounds like
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: a lot. Even I don't want to do that. But
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: this is from April, who will be hopefully on the
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: podcast next week for a little cameo to say, Hi,
• 32:15
  Speaker 1: we have decided to get the kids bunk beds.
• 32:21
  Speaker 2: Congratulations.
• 32:22
  Speaker 1: That's a huge milestone in any family, any relationship really
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: is driving this? You me gone me because I'm sick
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: of okay, so I'll just paint your picture really quick.
• 32:33
  Speaker 1: Their bedroom two beds, like a prison cell, let's be honest,
• 32:38
  Speaker 1: but much nicer. A pon would be happy to be
• 32:41
  Speaker 1: in there. But there's no room for anything else. Yeah,
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: so that means where are their toys and their belongings? Yes,
• 32:48
  Speaker 1: in a living space, for God's sake, and it's already
• 32:51
  Speaker 1: a unit, you know. So I'm just sick of all
• 32:55
  Speaker 1: the toys everywhere, which there's no point packing them up
• 32:58
  Speaker 1: all the time. Because they just get them back out again.
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: And I don't mind if their room's going to be
• 33:02
  Speaker 1: dirty and then packed up at the end of the day. Fine,
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: but it's hard to do that in the living space
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: when I keep kicking them and shit.
• 33:09
  Speaker 2: So my question is, Matt, can I just say before
• 33:11
  Speaker 2: you answer ask the question, I think bunk beds, you're
• 33:15
  Speaker 2: going to look at the room configuration. Like town planning,
• 33:19
  Speaker 2: you have standalone houses, a free standing house. But then
• 33:23
  Speaker 2: when the population gets too full, you've got to go up.
• 33:26
  Speaker 2: You've got you've got to go. You can't, you've got
• 33:28
  Speaker 2: to there's a space left.
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: You're making a lot of very good points.
• 33:30
  Speaker 2: You've got to get high rises. So you're at the
• 33:33
  Speaker 2: point right now where you're going to skip the duplexus.
• 33:37
  Speaker 2: You're going to go straight to the apartments.
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I want to I want to build up, Yeah,
• 33:41
  Speaker 1: like the.
• 33:41
  Speaker 2: Gold Coast essentially.
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: If anything, I would like to build them up and
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: out of my house. But they're only children, Matt, and
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: we can't do that yet. So we have decided that
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: we want to do that. It's not one hundred percent.
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: So the question comes from April because she likes to overthink.
• 34:01
  Speaker 2: What does she what's where's ther mind going?
• 34:03
  Speaker 1: She wanted to ask you because you have bunks for
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: your girls and something were we were actually our trial period.
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: We decided to do this months ago. But we're going
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: to see if there was any injuries.
• 34:14
  Speaker 2: Wait, if Matt and Laura lose a child. Yes, Look,
• 34:17
  Speaker 2: we are a bunk family, very proud of it. Have
• 34:20
  Speaker 2: been a bunk family for two years now.
• 34:23
  Speaker 1: I'm a fan of a bunk. I would get a
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: bunk bed in the Master of I.
• 34:27
  Speaker 2: I grew up in a bunk household. So we're a
• 34:30
  Speaker 2: generational bunk family.
• 34:32
  Speaker 1: Said.
• 34:33
  Speaker 2: My mother was also part of a bunk family.
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: I thought she came from the Hammock family.
• 34:39
  Speaker 2: She it was a hammock initially then transitioned to a bunk.
• 34:43
  Speaker 2: So we go bunks way back and I can't imagine
• 34:47
  Speaker 2: life any other way. We have not touchwood. There's a
• 34:50
  Speaker 2: lot of touching on wood today. We've not had any issues,
• 34:55
  Speaker 2: I don't think. But we've got a great little barrier
• 34:58
  Speaker 2: like Marley's up top just goes up top. It's just
• 35:01
  Speaker 2: a given.
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: That is a given. Yeah, and Major's a bit upset
• 35:04
  Speaker 1: about that now. I mean it's which I'll update you know.
• 35:07
  Speaker 2: You're talking about prison cells. The stronger prisoner goes up top?
• 35:11
  Speaker 2: Is that right? The bitch goes downstairs? No offense to Mason? No, sorry,
• 35:16
  Speaker 2: well said, but Laura, Can I just say Laura was
• 35:20
  Speaker 2: also a bunk family and she broke a leg.
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: It is a true love story when two bunk family
• 35:25
  Speaker 1: come together. What's the evolution of the bunk do you
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: think are we going to Are we gonna go down?
• 35:31
  Speaker 1: Are gonna go like ba, We're a basement family.
• 35:34
  Speaker 2: Anyone out there who's in a triple bunk? Yeah?
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: Remember the caravan cabins had three bunks.
• 35:40
  Speaker 2: If anyone leather mattress, was that about? Send us a
• 35:45
  Speaker 2: photo and like, I want.
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: To hear from more bunks the better. Yeah, so okay,
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: can't pro Actually? Can I just see you're more pro?
• 35:53
  Speaker 2: Can I just my sister has the bunk, the double downstairs,
• 35:57
  Speaker 2: the single up top?
• 35:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's good.
• 36:00
  Speaker 2: That's that's a nice one.
• 36:01
  Speaker 1: Then who gets the then it's like that, who gets
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: the double?
• 36:04
  Speaker 2: Then? So then then then you transition to the eldest
• 36:07
  Speaker 2: gets the double to o' there's a hierarchy here, which.
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: Do you know what I would really like is a
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: double double? But that's for for us. So the sex
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: on the bottom, sleep.
• 36:19
  Speaker 2: On the top. I'm yet to see a double double.
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: No, you've got a picture of a double. If you
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: have a double double in your house, I fucking want
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: to see it.
• 36:27
  Speaker 2: What's better a double double.
• 36:29
  Speaker 1: Or a triple?
• 36:31
  Speaker 2: Or a three stack?
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: A three or a four stack? That's ridiculous? What about
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: a built in one?
• 36:38
  Speaker 2: Sorry?
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: You build your house around it?
• 36:41
  Speaker 2: Were getting sorry?
• 36:42
  Speaker 1: Okay, all right, let's go back to the question question again.
• 36:47
  Speaker 1: If you didn't stop, U God, Elvis, we did just
• 36:51
  Speaker 1: say there's only gonna be like a couple of minutes
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: these questions, but we're turning into like a six minute question.
• 36:55
  Speaker 1: Pros and gods? Pro small room after this?
• 37:01
  Speaker 2: No game changer, game changer just the amount of space,
• 37:05
  Speaker 2: Like once I installed the bunk beds, it was like holy,
• 37:09
  Speaker 2: it was just unreal.
• 37:10
  Speaker 1: Step brothers were onto something like that interactivity that's unbelievable,
• 37:15
  Speaker 1: Like it's phenomenal. The only con I'm seeing that if
• 37:18
  Speaker 1: potentially a child was to fall off the top one.
• 37:20
  Speaker 2: And that leads me to my next point. Okay, Laura
• 37:23
  Speaker 2: was about four or five and she was put on
• 37:25
  Speaker 2: the top bunk or I think she was in a room,
• 37:28
  Speaker 2: her sister had the top bunk, and a sister dared
• 37:31
  Speaker 2: her to jump off. I could be making this.
• 37:33
  Speaker 1: This is like an Olympic gymnast.
• 37:35
  Speaker 2: Something happened. Whether or not it was Laura or the sister,
• 37:39
  Speaker 2: that's for another time. But Laura snapped her femur.
• 37:43
  Speaker 1: That's a big bone.
• 37:45
  Speaker 2: I don't want to freak out, April, but there's cut.
• 37:47
  Speaker 1: That right out.
• 37:50
  Speaker 2: There's photos of Laura being carried around by her grandpa
• 37:55
  Speaker 2: and she's got the cast from from toes all the
• 37:58
  Speaker 2: way up like four leg, full leg.
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: That is brutal. Yeah, but they did jump.
• 38:04
  Speaker 2: They jumped.
• 38:05
  Speaker 1: It wasn't There will be a very stern word before
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: anyone touches the bunk.
• 38:10
  Speaker 2: You're going to lay down the rules.
• 38:11
  Speaker 1: You jump off this bed, you're out.
• 38:13
  Speaker 2: You're out of here.
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: I'm jumping off straight away.
• 38:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 38:17
  Speaker 1: Look, I think we're I think we're I think you
• 38:20
  Speaker 1: sold it to us. Actually one question on the back
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: of this. You have something on the floor in your
• 38:25
  Speaker 1: kids room, a rug, and but that's different. It's quite spongy.
• 38:31
  Speaker 2: What's the deal that it's just a long head rug?
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: Am I thinking you had something else on there before?
• 38:39
  Speaker 1: We did have like a was it like a play mat?
• 38:42
  Speaker 1: We had were quite thick though.
• 38:43
  Speaker 2: We went the rug and then the phone mat on
• 38:46
  Speaker 2: top of the double mat, the double mat, and you've
• 38:49
  Speaker 2: got but it was like you know, I was like
• 38:51
  Speaker 2: hit the ceiling.
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: It was just too much, too much rug, too much high,
• 38:54
  Speaker 1: too much mad. Let's be okay, good. I'll pass that on.
• 39:03
  Speaker 2: But she'll probably because what do you go because we
• 39:04
  Speaker 2: had we had carpet rug, Matt, Jesus, it was like
• 39:07
  Speaker 2: a and when you stood on a carpet rug, Matt, Matt,
• 39:10
  Speaker 2: what are those cakes called?
• 39:12
  Speaker 1: It's a trifle, trifle. You had a trifle of Matt. Actually,
• 39:18
  Speaker 1: Laura had a trifle of matts if you were standing
• 39:20
  Speaker 1: on it. Anyway, I will pass this on. We have
• 39:23
  Speaker 1: timberfloor ing, so that's going to be really nice. When
• 39:26
  Speaker 1: oscar falls on that, we'll hear it. At least yours.
• 39:31
  Speaker 1: You wouldn't hear It'd be like, dude, you'd sink into
• 39:35
  Speaker 1: the triple Matt. Good luck with that, Thank you, good luck.
• 39:37
  Speaker 1: Next question, I have a quick question.
• 39:39
  Speaker 2: Yes, I cannot wait to figure out what configuration you're
• 39:42
  Speaker 2: going to have for the bunks, because you can sometimes
• 39:44
  Speaker 2: go like the tea bunk.
• 39:46
  Speaker 1: You're going to come over next week to recording and
• 39:48
  Speaker 1: to find out.
• 39:49
  Speaker 2: I can't wait question for you and for all the
• 39:53
  Speaker 2: listeners as well.
• 39:54
  Speaker 1: Let's just preface this by saying we will not go
• 39:56
  Speaker 1: on a tangent with this question. This is your and sharp.
• 40:01
  Speaker 2: When you have a baby and when you're in the hospital,
• 40:05
  Speaker 2: you get given a blanket, the stripe blanket. One thing
• 40:09
  Speaker 2: I really want to know, Ash, this is w's and we're.
• 40:12
  Speaker 1: Talking about the multi colored standard blanket that says you've
• 40:17
  Speaker 1: had a kid. That's the birthtificate.
• 40:19
  Speaker 2: This maybe a controversial take, got it? But are you
• 40:24
  Speaker 2: allowed to take that blanket from the hospital?
• 40:25
  Speaker 3: Yes?
• 40:26
  Speaker 1: Okay, I see you've got it. So those wondering you
• 40:29
  Speaker 1: also agree with me that easy you're gonna be put
• 40:31
  Speaker 1: in jail first. No, that I'm a strong believer that
• 40:36
  Speaker 1: that's a birth certificate.
• 40:38
  Speaker 2: You're allowed these right.
• 40:40
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 40:40
  Speaker 2: Someone once told me that they had the midwife, like
• 40:44
  Speaker 2: a midwif free program, and they come to your house
• 40:47
  Speaker 2: at like the four week mark or something, and they
• 40:50
  Speaker 2: forgot about the blanket and their midwife was like, oh,
• 40:53
  Speaker 2: where's the little baby? Saw the baby had this wrap
• 40:56
  Speaker 2: around it, and she was like, yanked it off the
• 40:59
  Speaker 2: baby and he was like I.
• 41:01
  Speaker 1: Just pictured the baby sitting in the air, Like it's
• 41:05
  Speaker 1: not like one of those magic treuths you whip off
• 41:07
  Speaker 1: on the country. Says, it just goes.
• 41:09
  Speaker 2: Put in her bag and she was like, I'll be
• 41:11
  Speaker 2: taking that, thank you very much.
• 41:12
  Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure New South Wales Health are gonna leaders.
• 41:14
  Speaker 1: And now like, oh, I'm so sorry.
• 41:15
  Speaker 2: She was like, huh the nerve she was so offended.
• 41:19
  Speaker 2: You're on the list, am I people they've been blacklisted.
• 41:22
  Speaker 2: Don't come for me please.
• 41:23
  Speaker 1: No.
• 41:23
  Speaker 2: I think it's funny done out a lot of money
• 41:25
  Speaker 2: to the hospital.
• 41:26
  Speaker 1: That's just paying the fees. I say this, yes, and
• 41:32
  Speaker 1: it's good when you have a pet at home and
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: it's your first child and you can take the blanket
• 41:36
  Speaker 1: home before the child gets home to let the pet
• 41:38
  Speaker 1: pet sniffet and the climatas to the incoming child. So
• 41:43
  Speaker 1: I think fine.
• 41:45
  Speaker 2: And I'm not here to condone behavior of taking items
• 41:48
  Speaker 2: from hospitals.
• 41:49
  Speaker 1: Is it a private hospital?
• 41:50
  Speaker 2: But I did take a couple of computers.
• 41:54
  Speaker 1: You know, the machines are go clear, I got in trouble.
• 42:01
  Speaker 2: No, not by me. Not great.
• 42:03
  Speaker 1: We'll let the listeners. All the nurses out there. God,
• 42:07
  Speaker 1: we get rural nurses. Matthew Christmas Fowls. We love them.
• 42:18
  Speaker 2: And sadly, this is the last time we're doing this segment.
• 42:21
  Speaker 2: And we've enjoyed it, We've loved it. It's been a pleasure.
• 42:24
  Speaker 2: But sadly, all good things have to come to an end.
• 42:26
  Speaker 1: Yes, I'm going to kick this off if you don't mind.
• 42:29
  Speaker 1: I thought you'd never ask from someone named Anna, and
• 42:33
  Speaker 1: Anna writes, this is mum's story for when she was
• 42:36
  Speaker 1: a kid. Just for some context, So her mum, which
• 42:38
  Speaker 1: is her grandmother, wanted to decorate the tree with real candles.
• 42:42
  Speaker 1: That's got disaster written all over it, doesn't it.
• 42:44
  Speaker 2: That's how houses used to burn down.
• 42:46
  Speaker 1: It's like that's how bushfire starts.
• 42:48
  Speaker 2: Man, I'm not living in the eighteen hundreds.
• 42:50
  Speaker 1: That's something like Oscar. Really there's light of real candles anyway.
• 42:53
  Speaker 2: Literally, Can I just say those trees are flammable, whether
• 42:55
  Speaker 2: they're real or plastic, just all flammab that will go
• 42:58
  Speaker 2: up in a heartpit.
• 42:58
  Speaker 1: You continue, simple, tree is flammable. The tree caught a
• 43:03
  Speaker 1: light shocker and a twist that no one's coming. Yeah,
• 43:10
  Speaker 1: this could be a briller. So my grandpa grabbed it,
• 43:13
  Speaker 1: took it outside and smashed it to the ground to
• 43:16
  Speaker 1: extinguish the fire. He also smashed all Grandma's vintage glass ornerments.
• 43:24
  Speaker 1: No shits, that's what you get for getting a real can.
• 43:27
  Speaker 2: No one she was stepped in and stopped.
• 43:30
  Speaker 1: Grandma does Grandma no basic fire safety.
• 43:35
  Speaker 2: Have you seen the footage of those Christmas trees going up? Mate?
• 43:39
  Speaker 1: Does the plastic ones?
• 43:40
  Speaker 2: It was a real one. It was like disposing of
• 43:42
  Speaker 2: the Christmas tree after Christmas and someone lights it like
• 43:46
  Speaker 2: it it is. It's like a blow torch.
• 43:50
  Speaker 1: This is what I'm gathering from Christmas as I get older.
• 43:53
  Speaker 1: We're promoting a break and enters with Santa firstly, and
• 43:57
  Speaker 1: now we're bringing a highly flammable tree inside the house.
• 44:02
  Speaker 2: Like, what do you think is going to happen?
• 44:03
  Speaker 1: I think personally, Christmas should be an outside activity.
• 44:06
  Speaker 2: I hate to attack Grunny for this, but you had
• 44:09
  Speaker 2: it coming.
• 44:10
  Speaker 1: Absolutely this is your fault. I'm going to start a
• 44:13
  Speaker 1: petition Christmas is an outside activity moving forward.
• 44:17
  Speaker 2: Okay, this one is from It was from mel Me,
• 44:22
  Speaker 2: she writes at the annual Christmas water fight with the cousins.
• 44:25
  Speaker 1: Okay, I like that real quick.
• 44:28
  Speaker 2: We all have traditions, the annual Christmas water fight. I
• 44:32
  Speaker 2: was on the balcony launching water bombs like I'm trying
• 44:35
  Speaker 2: to baptize the entire neighborhood. A solid right arm hook
• 44:40
  Speaker 2: over the balcony, and my shoulder pops out and it's
• 44:44
  Speaker 2: dangling there like a cheap pinata. Dad comes to the
• 44:47
  Speaker 2: rescue and pops my shoulder back in with the confidence
• 44:51
  Speaker 2: of someone who's watched half a YouTube to Tory a
• 44:53
  Speaker 2: lot It love that. Oh my god, Dad. I ended
• 44:57
  Speaker 2: up in the ed the next morning, followed by a
• 44:59
  Speaker 2: road trip to Byron in a sling for New Years.
• 45:02
  Speaker 2: My shoulder has never been the same since that Christmas.
• 45:06
  Speaker 1: The vision of it dangling like a pinata. Oh have
• 45:10
  Speaker 1: you ever dislicated anything again?
• 45:13
  Speaker 2: Touch wood? The touching of the wood continues yet too Goodness.
• 45:17
  Speaker 2: Actually used to have a friend who would always dessicated
• 45:20
  Speaker 2: his shoulder. It would like come in and out.
• 45:21
  Speaker 1: Well everyone has that friend.
• 45:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah, he'd like fall to the ground and be like
• 45:24
  Speaker 2: it's out, and then he'd be like he goes, oh,
• 45:26
  Speaker 2: it's back in.
• 45:28
  Speaker 1: That'd be like walking along like, oh not, Matt. I
• 45:33
  Speaker 1: have a final one for this segment, and the final
• 45:36
  Speaker 1: segment of said segment, thank you. This one's actually from
• 45:41
  Speaker 1: your wife. Oh, so it's said voice recording. So I've
• 45:46
  Speaker 1: listened to it, so we'll just see what she has.
• 45:48
  Speaker 1: But it's very good.
• 45:50
  Speaker 5: So I have a little Christmas fail of my own
• 45:52
  Speaker 5: many moons ago, when I lived with an ex boyfriend.
• 45:56
  Speaker 1: We decided to delete it. We decided we're here, it
• 46:00
  Speaker 1: only Christmas.
• 46:00
  Speaker 5: And have all our friends over because we're in our
• 46:02
  Speaker 5: twenties and we were cool, and we were going to
• 46:03
  Speaker 5: do our own little Christmas thing. And I'd never really
• 46:05
  Speaker 5: cooked before, but I was really really hell bent on
• 46:08
  Speaker 5: doing a pork roast. So I bought this massive pork
• 46:12
  Speaker 5: and I cooked it and it was look at the
• 46:14
  Speaker 5: pork was great, but I hadn't nailed the crackling. So
• 46:18
  Speaker 5: I called my mom and I was like, Mom, I've
• 46:19
  Speaker 5: got all these people over and I needed the crackling
• 46:22
  Speaker 5: to be perfect.
• 46:23
  Speaker 1: What do I do? And she was like, oh, just
• 46:25
  Speaker 1: chuck it under the grill.
• 46:26
  Speaker 5: And so I didn't realize just how quickly pork crackling
• 46:29
  Speaker 5: cooks under the grill, and so I put it under there,
• 46:31
  Speaker 5: and I thought, I'll give it fifteen minutes and I
• 46:33
  Speaker 5: came back and my kitchen was on fire. So that
• 46:37
  Speaker 5: really put down there on Christmas Day because well we
• 46:41
  Speaker 5: ate on the balcony. But apart from that, yeah, the
• 46:43
  Speaker 5: landlord was not too happy about having to replace the
• 46:45
  Speaker 5: oven and also the splash back of the entire kitchen,
• 46:48
  Speaker 5: so that.
• 46:48
  Speaker 1: Was fun for me. I don't think any landlord's going
• 46:51
  Speaker 1: to light their kitchen go.
• 46:52
  Speaker 2: Out like hide the ovens broken, you please get it fixed.
• 46:55
  Speaker 1: I come over to inspect it and like, this is
• 46:57
  Speaker 1: not broken, it's burnt down.
• 47:00
  Speaker 2: I do like a Christmas fire. I'm all for it.
• 47:05
  Speaker 2: As long as no one gets hurt.
• 47:06
  Speaker 1: Absolutely sorry, let me just put that out there.
• 47:10
  Speaker 2: As long as there's no injuries. More for as long
• 47:12
  Speaker 2: as no vintage glass ornaments are broken.
• 47:14
  Speaker 1: Sorry Nan, Sorry Nan, Well they shared that coming. That's
• 47:17
  Speaker 1: our own fault.
• 47:18
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 47:19
  Speaker 1: Now, if you don't want any Christmas fails, what do
• 47:22
  Speaker 1: you do?
• 47:22
  Speaker 2: Man? You go to Aldi?
• 47:23
  Speaker 1: Of course, go on, it's Christmas.
• 47:26
  Speaker 2: Just indulge yourself. You deserve. It's been a tough year.
• 47:28
  Speaker 1: And we want to thank Audi for this segment.
• 47:30
  Speaker 2: Aldi good different ash, Yes, I think that is this
• 47:34
  Speaker 2: episode wrapped up in a nice neat little package.
• 47:36
  Speaker 1: If you like this episode, please leave us a review.
• 47:42
  Speaker 1: Do not dob us in for the blanket.
• 47:43
  Speaker 2: Absolutely not five stars. A few comments whether it be
• 47:47
  Speaker 2: on Spotify or Apple, and you can of course find
• 47:51
  Speaker 2: us if you miss us. You like Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday,
• 47:56
  Speaker 2: Sunday and I think Ash just want some Maddie Jane
• 47:59
  Speaker 2: Ash good news.
• 48:01
  Speaker 1: You can jump on social media Instagram.
• 48:05
  Speaker 2: Everywhere pretty much. Two Doting Dads in the Facebook group.
• 48:08
  Speaker 2: It's great.
• 48:08
  Speaker 1: It's going on Instagram, TikTok, YouTube and then we'll see.
• 48:11
  Speaker 2: You guys, but I don't know, maybe next week. Two
• 48:35
  Speaker 2: Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout
• 48:39
  Speaker 2: Australia and the connections to land, see and community.
• 48:42
  Speaker 1: We pay our respects to their elders past and present
• 48:45
  Speaker 1: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestraight Islander
• 48:48
  Speaker 1: people's today. This episode was recorded on Gadigle Land