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Offline: Jon and Emily Favreau Answer Your Questions · Pod Save America

• 0:02
  Speaker 1: Hey everybody, welcome to Offline and Happy New Year. So
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: since the beginning of this series, I've opened every episode
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: asking you to send us your questions about the show.
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: And today I'll answer as many as I can. But
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: I thought I'd bring on a special guest to help
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: me do that. Here by popular demand, my wife, Emily Favreau.
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: Hello, thank you for having me.
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: Our first pod together.
• 0:24
  Speaker 2: I know, love it's had me on.
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: I have not had you on. Yeah.
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: You've done like 500 podcasts. This is my first.
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: Well, I had to convince you to do this. You
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: were a little skeptical.
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: I mean, I feel like I agreed and then the
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: rules were changed after I agreed. So we'll see how
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: this goes.
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: Okay, cool. Well, that's fine. Great. Well, it's a podcast.
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: Great.
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: We can cut anything. Okay. So you can dig into
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: the mailbag. It's you. Great.
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: Great. So I'm going to dig into the mailbag here.
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: There were a lot of questions and comments about your
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: episode with the Surgeon General, Dr. Murthy. Hmm.
• 0:57
  Speaker 3: So the first one, Laura Short said, I appreciated John's
• 1:01
  Speaker 3: sharing of your experience as a first time parent during
• 1:04
  Speaker 3: the pandemic.
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: My daughter was born at the end of July of 2020. Same.
• 1:09
  Speaker 3: And so I feel like our parenting timelines are very similar.
• 1:12
  Speaker 3: I was worried about whether my husband would be able
• 1:14
  Speaker 3: to come into the delivery room, worried about who we
• 1:16
  Speaker 3: would let see the baby, worried about attending appointments alone
• 1:20
  Speaker 3: and hearing bad news, et cetera. I know from my
• 1:22
  Speaker 3: first baby, the difference of community of new parents who
• 1:25
  Speaker 3: are sitting around like, WTF is life can make.
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: Same Laura, same. And then Brad Moe ringer wrote, um, quote.
• 1:36
  Speaker 3: As Americans living abroad, our experience during these past two
• 1:39
  Speaker 3: years has been truly unique. In August of 2019, I
• 1:42
  Speaker 3: quit my job in DC and followed my wife on
• 1:44
  Speaker 3: a new adventure to Romania for her work. We enjoyed
• 1:47
  Speaker 3: about seven months of European living until COVID hit. As
• 1:51
  Speaker 3: the world was shutting down, we were given 48 hours
• 1:54
  Speaker 3: notice that we were being evacuated to the UK.
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: We could only bring.
• 1:57
  Speaker 3: The suitcases we could carry and were not sure when
• 2:00
  Speaker 3: we would be coming back. We spent the next six
• 2:02
  Speaker 3: months living in temporary housing in England until it became
• 2:05
  Speaker 3: clear we couldn't go back and her company moved us
• 2:07
  Speaker 3: here permanently. Our lives were completely uprooted during a time
• 2:11
  Speaker 3: when the whole world was upside down. Like you mentioned
• 2:14
  Speaker 3: on the podcast, I didn't begin to experience the effect
• 2:16
  Speaker 3: it had on me until several months later.
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: But when it did, it shook me to my core.
• 2:21
  Speaker 3: I went to therapy for the first time in my
• 2:22
  Speaker 3: life to work through what these issues, and it was
• 2:25
  Speaker 3: the best thing I ever did. I 1000% agree that
• 2:28
  Speaker 3: as a society, we have not thought enough about the
• 2:31
  Speaker 3: mental health fallout of this pandemic. I appreciate your honesty
• 2:34
  Speaker 3: and candidness about your own experience. And I wanted to
• 2:37
  Speaker 3: write this email to let you know how much the
• 2:38
  Speaker 3: specific episode impacted me.
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: Keep up the good work and cheers from England.
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: It's funny. We, we received more feedback about the pandemic
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: Vivek Murthy episode, the Surgeon General episode than basically any
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: other episode we've done. More than a lot of episodes
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: of Pod Save America interviews that we've done. And I
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: think it sort of speaks to what I hoped the
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: show would be, which is like not necessarily, I talked
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: to you about this when I was trying to figure
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: out the show. Like I didn't want it to just
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: be a show about like the internet and technology, but
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: a show about sort of connection and the way that
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: we interact with each other and how strong our connections
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: are today. And a lot of that right now is about,
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: I think, social media and politics, but it feels like
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: a huge factor in all this is the pandemic. And
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: I think we don't talk about mental health issues around
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: the pandemic enough. And I've been trying to figure out why.
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: And I think there's like a few big reasons. One,
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: I think if you're healthy and privileged, like we are,
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: you feel like it's a smaller problem relative to the
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: problems that a lot of other people are going through
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: right now. So you don't really want to make it
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: public to, it feels like some kind of an individual
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: failing if you have that problem. And three, I think
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: if you want, if you want more human connection, if
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: you want to be hanging out with friends more and
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: seeing family more, um, you've, it feels like you're not
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: maybe taking the dangers of the pandemic seriously enough.
• 4:06
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: Um, and it's one of the reasons that we don't,
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: but I don't know. What do you think? We've, We've
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: had a couple of years of being parents in a pandemic.
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 4:16
  Speaker 3: I mean, I don't know what being a parent not
• 4:18
  Speaker 3: in a pandemic is like, neither do you.
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: So I don't know.
• 4:23
  Speaker 3: It's starting to feel like, how is this still going?
• 4:28
  Speaker 3: Like we just canceled our trip home to see my
• 4:30
  Speaker 3: parents for Christmas that it feels, it feels like last year,
• 4:34
  Speaker 3: but then also like, there's so many things we know
• 4:36
  Speaker 3: that are better, but at the same time, like, we
• 4:40
  Speaker 3: have a healthy, happy toddler and that's fun. And I,
• 4:43
  Speaker 3: I love like being with our family, so I can't complain,
• 4:46
  Speaker 3: but yeah, it's definitely, it's definitely the lonely experience, but
• 4:51
  Speaker 3: then at the same time, like we're not the only
• 4:52
  Speaker 3: ones going through this, you know?
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: We went to bed last night. We both got in
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: bed and we're just like, we just started laughing. We
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: just started laughing. We're like, Oh, another day, another day
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: in the pandemic, two years running. Here we go.
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: We realized we haven't, we've only lived in this house
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: during the pandemic.
• 5:10
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: Charlie has only known life during the pandemic.
• 5:14
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: Like there's only been, we've only lived in a house.
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: There's only been masks in this house since we moved in.
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: It's crazy. I'm so over it, but like, I don't know.
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: But I don't know. It was, it was nice hearing
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: from a lot of people after that episode. It was
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: nice talking to Dr. Murphy just because I do think
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: there's a sense out there that everyone is people have
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: talked about this sort of languishing. It's the feeling of languishing.
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: Adam Grant wrote a piece about this in the New
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: York times where like, you're not necessarily depressed. You're not
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: necessarily great, but you're just kind of getting through each
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: day and there's something missing. And I think it's making
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: everyone a little angrier, a little more on edge. Um,
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: and it's showing up in our politics. It's showing up
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: just in life. It's showing up on airplanes. It's showing
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: up like all over the place.
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I went Christmas shopping today and there was like
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: a brawl in the parking lot. Really? Yeah. one guy
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: parked too close to another guy. That's how it started.
• 6:05
  Speaker 2: But like things were dicey.
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: People are pissed out there. Um, okay. Next question. Okay.
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: We got a bunch of questions about parenting.
• 6:14
  Speaker 3: Christie low asks, can you do an episode that touches
• 6:18
  Speaker 3: on the impact of the internet and social media on
• 6:20
  Speaker 3: parents and our kids? I constantly feel guilty about my
• 6:24
  Speaker 3: own screen time and my kids screen time, but it's
• 6:26
  Speaker 3: also how we connect with long distance family and friends.
• 6:29
  Speaker 2: It's such a catch 22 lose, lose situation.
• 6:33
  Speaker 3: And then a lot of other people asked for advice
• 6:35
  Speaker 3: for new parents slash parents to be on kids with
• 6:39
  Speaker 3: phones slash iPads. And I just think before you answer
• 6:42
  Speaker 3: this question or I answer this question, we should make
• 6:45
  Speaker 3: it very clear that we don't know what we're doing here.
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: I was just going to say that. I was going
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: to say, like, we are not experts on this.
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we do not know the answer here. Do you
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: want to?
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: I will say that I do want to do an
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: episode on. screen time or just like the impact of
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: internet and social media on parents and kids. I think
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: there's probably a lot of, there are a lot of
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: experts out there. Uh, if you guys have, we are
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: not them. No, that's why I want to do the episode.
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: I love talking to people who are smarter than me. Um,
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: if you all have recommendations for who we should do
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: the episode with, like, please let us know. Um, and
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: I think there's a range of episodes you could do.
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: You could do, um, the impact of screen time and
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: the internet on parents and young kids, um, You can
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: do the impact on teenagers. Obviously, there was a lot
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: about Instagram and the effect on teenagers when the Facebook
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: papers came out. So there's a lot of topics there
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: that I would actually love to cover. But for us....
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: I mean, no, you're making it seem like we plop
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: them in front of the TV.
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: I didn't even say anything yet. That's what you're making.
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: I said nothing yet.
• 7:51
  Speaker 3: I will say that he's by himself right now.
• 7:55
  Speaker 2: Um, he is not, he is doing a puzzle.
• 8:00
  Speaker 3: Um, no, I mean, I just kind of, as with
• 8:03
  Speaker 3: all parenting things that I'm figuring out these last couple
• 8:06
  Speaker 3: of years, I'm just trying to kind of like read
• 8:09
  Speaker 3: the room and feel what feels right for our family.
• 8:12
  Speaker 3: And for me, that means like letting Charlie watch trucks
• 8:16
  Speaker 3: in the morning on YouTube in our bed while I
• 8:19
  Speaker 3: drink coffee.
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: And, It's an experience that.
• 8:22
  Speaker 3: I really enjoy because I'm sort of waking up and
• 8:25
  Speaker 3: cuddling with our son.
• 8:26
  Speaker 2: You've been up for like two hours. You bring me
• 8:29
  Speaker 2: a coffee.
• 8:32
  Speaker 3: But I don't know, like the snuggling and starting a
• 8:35
  Speaker 3: cozy morning with his mom to me kind of feels
• 8:38
  Speaker 3: like it outweighs like the negatives of like maybe YouTube
• 8:42
  Speaker 3: trucks rotting his brain.
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: But I don't know.
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: No, I love it. we've read all the studies, right?
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: It's like a lot of screen time is.
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: Bad for kids that are young.
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: I've read, I've read about, I've heard about the studies.
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: I've heard about these studies. I'm sure a lot of
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: people tell us it's not good, but here's the thing. Um,
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: first of all, number one, I think there's a lot
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: of hours to fill in the day. You know this
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: way better than I do because it's all day for
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: you and it's not all day for me. It's like
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: the weekends and night for me. And there's especially a
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: lot of hours to fill during the day during a pandemic.
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: When you can't be doing a lot of public activities
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: and have Charlie play with like a bunch of friends
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: and be indoors and basically a whole range of activities
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: are excluded.
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: Right now. So there's a lot of time to fill.
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: I do think that when we, the limited time that
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: he does watch screens or watch television, we are sitting
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: with him and often like explaining to him what's on
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: the screen and talking to him about it.
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: You're better at that than I am.
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: I just, well, it's like, there's also like educational television things.
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: Thankfully the Pfeifers tell us about Daniel Tiger. There's a
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: lot of Blippi.
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: Oh my god, no, Blippi.
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: We're trying. So we try to do that. And then
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: I think if you balance out the limited screen time
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: with a lot of reading, which we do, Yeah. A
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: ton of reading to Charlie.
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: And then just a lot of other social interaction wherever
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: we can and just spending a lot of time with
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: him interacting.
• 10:04
  Speaker 3: And I mean, we have it so much easier. Like,
• 10:07
  Speaker 3: my sister has a three-year-old and like, so that's been...
• 10:11
  Speaker 3: two years in the pandemic of like Charlie being this age,
• 10:14
  Speaker 3: you know?
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: And so we're lucky.
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: He was a little baby blob for the first year
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: of the pandemic.
• 10:20
  Speaker 3: And like, that was sort of great for me because
• 10:22
  Speaker 3: I like sat around feeding him, you know?
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: Um, but it's been hard.
• 10:28
  Speaker 3: The screen time kid thing with kids that kind of
• 10:30
  Speaker 3: like the one that makes me feel more stressed out
• 10:34
  Speaker 3: is not him watching screens, but more I find myself
• 10:38
  Speaker 3: being on my phone around him, especially cause I'm with
• 10:41
  Speaker 3: him on all day. And I'm like, since I'm not working,
• 10:45
  Speaker 3: I'm like finding myself looking for adult socialization on like
• 10:50
  Speaker 3: Instagram or on Twitter. And so then I'm like sitting
• 10:53
  Speaker 3: with him, but I'm staring at my phone. And then I,
• 10:55
  Speaker 3: that's what makes me feel like kind of, I'm doing.
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: A bad job. Um, and so that's maybe a new
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: year's resolution.
• 11:02
  Speaker 3: Like I want to just like put my phone away
• 11:05
  Speaker 3: and like do solid play time with Charlie, as opposed
• 11:08
  Speaker 3: to like one ear on him, one eye on Tik TOK,
• 11:13
  Speaker 3: you know, I have.
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: Found myself doing that too. I have been a little
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: bit better about catching myself when I think about it, um,
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: when I'm on my phone and he's around and then
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: something else, when we were just talking about this sort
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: of mental health challenge, I find that the times where
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: I leave my phone in the other room or just
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: make a conscious effort to play with Charlie, talk to Charlie,
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: watch Charlie play. Even if I'm not talking to him,
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: I'm just watching him play. It makes me a lot
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: happier and more fulfilled. We both talked about this. Then
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: half scrolling through Twitter, being on my phone and then
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: saying like, okay, I'm watching him, but I'm doing something else.
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: Like just now, I mean, it wasn't always like this.
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: I think when he was, younger he wasn't doing.
• 11:56
  Speaker 3: As much well you didn't really like him too five
• 11:58
  Speaker 3: months old that's true it's not true charlie if you
• 12:01
  Speaker 3: ever hear this i wasn't good at parenting no you
• 12:03
  Speaker 3: were good you were just not into.
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: I wasn't into it um but now that he is
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: talking and can play and stuff like that it's really
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: fulfilling and fun to watch him play and it's a
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: good break from being on your fucking phone yeah you
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: know yeah but again you do you're with him literally.
• 12:19
  Speaker 3: All day and i'm so lucky that i can be
• 12:21
  Speaker 3: but it's also like it's not realistic that i would
• 12:23
  Speaker 3: just be like crazily attentive to him.
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 12:28
  Speaker 2: From the time he wakes up to the time he naps.
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: A lot of hours in a day people.
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: It's a lot of hours. That's why it's four o'clock
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: and I'm having a glass of wine.
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: We're having a cocktail as well.
• 12:40
  Speaker 3: We're talking about being bad parents. So crushing it, crushing it,
• 12:44
  Speaker 3: crushing it.
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: Okay. Caitlin Reed asks, hi, love the show.
• 12:49
  Speaker 3: Not sure if you'll address this in a future episode,
• 12:51
  Speaker 3: but think it would be really great to discuss the
• 12:53
  Speaker 3: role and influence TikTok has, arguably more so than Twitter.
• 12:57
  Speaker 3: It also has the young audience who is likely not
• 12:59
  Speaker 3: on Twitter and is where more and more eyes and
• 13:02
  Speaker 3: attention are going. There's also some people who would like
• 13:05
  Speaker 3: to see you focus on platforms that aren't just Twitter
• 13:07
  Speaker 3: and Facebook, which seem to be the most problematic.
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: Yes, we're going to do a TikTok show.
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: You are?
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 13:13
  Speaker 2: You don't even know what TikTok is.
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: Again, that's why I'm going to do the show. So
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: I'm going to talk to someone who knows TikTok, but
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: this is actually the, the like Twitter is the only
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: platform I talk about was an admonition early on from
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: Tanya Sominator, who's our chief content officer.
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: And me.
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: And, and you and, and, and, you know, digital gurus
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: and you have someone who's on TikTok a lot because
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: I think Twitter, look, the reason that I focus on
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: Twitter a lot is there's a bias because I'm on
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: Twitter all the time. Also, but also like, the presence
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: of every journalist in the world and every politician in
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: the world on Twitter gives the platform huge influence relative
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: to its user base. So there are a very small
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: percentage of people on TikTok compared to Snapchat, even Instagram, TikTok, right?
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: But the news, the way that people understand the world
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: is through the media and the way that the media
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: is always on Twitter, right? So Twitter has this outside influence.
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: But I think that especially in younger generations, so many
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: people are getting their news and information or just are
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: hanging out on. TikTok and Snapchat and all that. What else?
• 14:21
  Speaker 2: Young kids are hanging out on TikTok.
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: There's no way to talk about this without me sounding
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: so fucking old.
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: You're so old. I'm like truly mortified.
• 14:28
  Speaker 3: I think we should cut the line where John said
• 14:31
  Speaker 3: kids are.
• 14:31
  Speaker 2: Hanging out on TikTok.
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: No, keep it at it. YouTube, Reddit. I want to
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: talk about all those platforms. So again, recommendations. Do you
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: have recommendations of people I should talk to?
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: Well, I had to tell you who Charli D'Amelio was.
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: The staff talks was like, we should have the D'Amelio
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: sisters on. And I'm like, I don't know what I'm
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: going to even say to them. I don't really know
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: who they are except for you told me who they were. Yeah.
• 14:50
  Speaker 3: Well, I think also not even just TikTok, which seems
• 14:52
  Speaker 3: like pretty outside your wheelhouse, but I think you could learn.
• 14:56
  Speaker 3: But I think there is an interesting conversation for you
• 14:59
  Speaker 3: to have, too, on this show about Instagram and Instagram
• 15:03
  Speaker 3: influencers and trolls and comments. Because to me, as someone
• 15:07
  Speaker 3: who's on Twitter and Instagram, less so Twitter than you are,
• 15:11
  Speaker 3: but everyone's on Twitter less than you are, I would
• 15:15
  Speaker 3: say that Twitter's kind of meaner and Instagram.
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: is sometimes nicer.
• 15:23
  Speaker 3: Um, but then again, but then a lot of people
• 15:26
  Speaker 3: would totally disagree with me because I think I just
• 15:28
  Speaker 3: have sort of nice Instagram followers, but people who are
• 15:31
  Speaker 3: like Instagram influencer, super famous on Instagram often are like
• 15:36
  Speaker 3: hugely bullied and like their DMS are filled with people
• 15:39
  Speaker 3: like telling them to like go jump off a building.
• 15:42
  Speaker 2: So I don't know.
• 15:43
  Speaker 3: I just think there's like an interesting conversation about looking
• 15:47
  Speaker 3: at people's lives through Instagram and thinking there's something and
• 15:50
  Speaker 3: really there's something else.
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: And what's going on on TikTok?
• 15:53
  Speaker 3: Leo's trying to leave. What's going on on TikTok? I
• 15:58
  Speaker 3: actually haven't been on TikTok in a while, but.
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: I will say I remember one night when you were
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: on TikTok and I did not, like I hadn't been
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: on much at all. And then you're like, just watch
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: it for a couple of minutes. And suddenly I was
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: like glued to it for a half hour.
• 16:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's great.
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: So it is very addicting. I can see that. I
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: don't know if that's a good thing, but.
• 16:14
  Speaker 3: Well, I usually, I haven't been watching a lot of
• 16:16
  Speaker 3: TikTok because you fall asleep before I do and it
• 16:18
  Speaker 3: makes noise.
• 16:19
  Speaker 2: So I scroll Instagram because it's quiet.
• 16:21
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  Speaker 1: For our listeners at helixsleep.com slash crickets. Offline is brought
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  Speaker 3: Maricia 0603 asks, who is the white.
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  Speaker 2: Whale that you've been wanting to interview but haven't been
• 19:38
  Speaker 2: able to get?
• 19:39
  Speaker 3: And Nicholas Backhand, Maggie Jerome, and Hilary Smit all wrote
• 19:44
  Speaker 3: to suggest you talk to Bo Burnham about his recent special.
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah, obviously. Bo Burnham was one of the first people
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: that I wanted to interview for Offline and we couldn't
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: get him. I know he doesn't do a lot of interviews,
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: but if anyone knows how to get to Bo Burnham,
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: please let him know. I want to talk to him
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: for Offline. We both watched that special sort of on
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: a whim.
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: I knew about it.
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: You did?
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah. And I said, this is supposed to be really good.
• 20:04
  Speaker 2: I think you'll like it. And you're like, oh, I
• 20:06
  Speaker 2: don't know.
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: And we were blown away.
• 20:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: As everyone was.
• 20:10
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: But I don't know. I just, I thought it was so,
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: so good. I really want to talk to Bo Burnham.
• 20:15
  Speaker 2: Anyone else?
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: Obviously Taylor Swift.
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: I thought you were going to say me.
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: You're here.
• 20:18
  Speaker 2: I know.
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: Taylor Swift I want to talk to. Lizzo, because she
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: uses social, like her use of social media. Lil Nas
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: X is someone in the entertainment field. In the political field,
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: Prince Harry or Meghan Markle or both.
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: Because they've dealt a lot with social, like Prince Harry
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: talks about these issues. Um, I want to talk to
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: my old boss, Barack Obama. He has thought about these
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: issues for a long time. Uh, AOC, I would love
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: to do an episode with her about how Democrats and
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: politicians use social media, uh, which is not great. So
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: those are some of my, those are some of the big,
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: you asked white whales. Those are some of the big ones.
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: I'd like to join any of those.
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Um, cool.
• 21:01
  Speaker 3: Terry Lynn 92 asks, how do you turn off work
• 21:05
  Speaker 3: to focus on family and how do you keep from
• 21:07
  Speaker 3: being angry in today's political climate?
• 21:10
  Speaker 2: And Politigal asks, do you both talk politics together? How
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: do you do it? Is there a healthy way? Let's
• 21:18
  Speaker 2: tackle that first one.
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: Okay, I was going to say.
• 21:20
  Speaker 2: This feels like it should be for like a marriage counselor,
• 21:22
  Speaker 2: not for a podcast.
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: How do you turn off work to focus on family
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: and how do you keep from being angry?
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: Those are two different questions.
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: How do you turn off work to focus on family?
• 21:32
  Speaker 2: Well, for me, I am not working. So my focus
• 21:36
  Speaker 2: is on my family. So your turn.
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: How do I turn it off?
• 21:41
  Speaker 2: You don't.
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: I don't. I don't turn it off. I mean, I
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: turn off like. work, work, but I'm sort of just like,
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: if things are going on in the world, I focus on,
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: I'm looking at them.
• 21:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: Like yesterday, I was like, yesterday when we're recording this,
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: I should have said, we're recording this on December 20th.
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: You're hearing this on January 2nd, I believe. And yesterday
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: was the day that Joe Manchin blew up the Build
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: Back Better deal. And it was one of those moments
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: that you've experienced many times where Like we were all
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: sitting around and you probably thought that I was.
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: I thought you were mad at me.
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: I thought you thought I was participating in the family conversation.
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: And instead I was just like quietly looking at my phone.
• 22:20
  Speaker 2: It's not like you're ever hiding it.
• 22:21
  Speaker 3: I always know when like, it's interesting because you don't
• 22:26
  Speaker 3: get into as many Twitter fights anymore, which I appreciate.
• 22:29
  Speaker 3: But I used to know that something was going on.
• 22:33
  Speaker 3: if you were like just suddenly in like a foul
• 22:35
  Speaker 3: mood and like I had done nothing wrong and I
• 22:38
  Speaker 3: would be like, okay, something is off. And so I'd
• 22:40
  Speaker 3: look at Twitter and it'd be like 12 tweets deep
• 22:42
  Speaker 3: and like you're fighting with someone. And it's like, I
• 22:44
  Speaker 3: think you've done a better job at like separating that
• 22:47
  Speaker 3: kind of behavior. But I can always tell when you're
• 22:50
  Speaker 3: like deep in breaking news. And I think credit to me,
• 22:54
  Speaker 3: I let you off the hook a lot.
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: You do. Oh my God.
• 22:57
  Speaker 2: Because like your job.
• 22:59
  Speaker 3: Is one that you have to be up on the
• 23:01
  Speaker 3: news and it's like happening constantly.
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: Um, but I do think.
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: What might be more helpful that I should do more
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: is I try not to, I try to, have it
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: both ways by like saying, okay, I'm going to read
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: on my phone, the breaking news, but I'm also here
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: being present.
• 23:19
  Speaker 2: I should just like come.
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: Into the office and like look on my computer and
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: do some reading for 15 minutes and then leave everything
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: here and then come back and just like separate it
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: a little more. Part of it is a function of
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: the pandemic too, which is like, I do think there
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: are times during the week it's easier where if I'm
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: working all day and I'm at the office and then
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: I come home at five or six o'clock, Then like
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: the period where I come home at five between when
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: Charlie goes to bed at seven, we try to like eat,
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: give Charlie a bath, do all that kind of stuff.
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: And then I try to like.
• 23:48
  Speaker 2: Put him in front of Blippi.
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: Just kidding. But like have two hours where I'm not
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: on my phone. Unless there's horrible breaking news. Right.
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: Or great breaking news.
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: Or great breaking news, which we don't get too much.
• 24:00
  Speaker 3: Okay, wait, we have another part of this question. How
• 24:03
  Speaker 3: do you keep from being angry in today's political climate?
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: I mean, I don't think you can keep yourself from
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: being angry. I think you can keep yourself or you
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: can try to avoid letting the anger consume you or
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: to like always be expressing the anger or to wallow
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: in the anger. Like I was very angry yesterday at
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: mansion like everyone else was and I was disappointed. But
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: at some point just to be like, what, what purpose
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: does the anger serve me? Right? Like, why am I,
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: depriving myself of joy over something that I don't know
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: if I can control and what I can control, I
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: should focus on trying to control and changing. And this
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: is much easier said than done, but it's, it's what
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: I've tried to think about for at least the last
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: year or so. And then do you both talk politics together?
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: How do you do it? Is there a healthy way?
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: We do talk a lot of politics.
• 24:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I mean, our whole relationship, we've talked politics.
• 24:57
  Speaker 3: I think that's part of the reason we're married is
• 24:59
  Speaker 3: because we had a lot of similar political views and
• 25:03
  Speaker 3: kind of I was going to say the same level
• 25:06
  Speaker 3: of interest in politics.
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: But you... Well, I'm a weirdo. I didn't even.
• 25:11
  Speaker 3: Realize when I married you the addiction to politics you have.
• 25:14
  Speaker 3: But I'm interested in politics. And I come from a
• 25:18
  Speaker 3: political family. So, I mean, we definitely do it in
• 25:22
  Speaker 3: a healthy way, I think, just because it's the nature
• 25:25
  Speaker 3: of your work. It's the work that I was doing
• 25:28
  Speaker 3: when I left to be with Charlie Moore.
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: I just think I can be very we can be
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: the most honest with each other about politics and the
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: problems we have than with anything else. This is like,
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: we've talked about this on the show a lot is
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: that part of the challenge with social media is you
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: are public all the time and everything that you say.
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: And in real life, what you're doing when you're thinking
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: about politics or almost any subject is you're sort of
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: working out your opinion and working out your thoughts in
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: real time. And you really can't do that on social
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: media much because sometimes you make mistakes or say stupid
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: things or say wrong things that are Or get angry,
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: like we were just saying. And I think when I'm
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: really pissed about some conversation that's going on or some
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: debate that's happening in politics, it usually makes me feel
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: much better to come home and at dinner be like, oh,
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: you wouldn't believe what was happening on Twitter. You wouldn't
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: believe this conversation or this debate. And I talk to
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: you about it and either you say I'm right or
• 26:22
  Speaker 1: I'm wrong. And it's just, it feels better.
• 26:24
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 26:24
  Speaker 3: And I actually think I'm, even though you're a real
• 26:28
  Speaker 3: character and piece of work when it comes to this stuff,
• 26:32
  Speaker 3: I feel lucky that like, I can go all day
• 26:35
  Speaker 3: without being on Twitter.
• 26:36
  Speaker 2: And like, I actually really do these days. Like I
• 26:38
  Speaker 2: just don't want to be on it.
• 26:40
  Speaker 3: And then, but I always feel like if something is
• 26:43
  Speaker 3: happening in the world, you're going to tell me at
• 26:45
  Speaker 3: dinner or you'll like text me some tweet and I'll
• 26:48
  Speaker 3: look at it.
• 26:49
  Speaker 2: So I appreciate you keeping me informed on things.
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: Anytime. Anytime.
• 26:54
  Speaker 2: It's more fun than Twitter.
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 26:57
  Speaker 3: At LJ summer 38 asks, Has doing offline changed your
• 27:01
  Speaker 3: views about social media?
• 27:02
  Speaker 2: How does it change how you will approach the show?
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: So I think I used to have black and white
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: views of social media, which is like use it or don't,
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: constant consumption or delete my apps, which is just not
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: realistic for me. I think that these conversations have pushed
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: me to find ways to use social media better and
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: to also gradually change my behavior. instead of trying anything drastic.
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: So you were just saying this, like I'm still on
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: Twitter all the time. I was going to say a lot,
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: all the time. Let's just say all the time. Let's
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: be honest. But I'm doing a lot more reading of
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: Twitter than tweeting actually. Yeah. You've registered that I'm not
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: in Twitter fights anymore. The Twitter fights actually have gone
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: away maybe like a year ago. Yeah, I know, I know,
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: I know. Twitter fights I've stopped a while ago. I'm
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: also like, I'm just not going to reply to people
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: who come at me with like, an angry or accusatory
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: or nasty tone. I don't feel like I need to
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: give you a reply. I don't feel like I owe
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: you a reply if you're going to come at that because, again,
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: I try to think if I walked up to someone
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: on the street and someone started screaming at me about something,
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: I wouldn't respond well.
• 28:10
  Speaker 3: Which is funny because you, I, whenever I see mean
• 28:13
  Speaker 3: tweets about you, I always want to reply and I
• 28:15
  Speaker 3: like write things and you're like, don't send that.
• 28:17
  Speaker 2: Don't do that. But like, I'm much more confrontational than
• 28:20
  Speaker 2: you are.
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah, no, I don't. I just don't.
• 28:22
  Speaker 2: Like I would do that to someone in real life.
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you would do that to someone in life.
• 28:26
  Speaker 2: And I want to stand up for you.
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: But it's like, it's just not, I've done it so
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: much in the past that every, there's never, a Twitter
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: exchange with a random Twitter person or a Twitter person
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: that I know, a person on Twitter that I know.
• 28:39
  Speaker 2: That's a Twitter person.
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah, a Twitter person.
• 28:40
  Speaker 2: Oh my God, your brain is broken.
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: With people I know that are on Twitter that has
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: left me feeling better. Even if I feel like I've
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: gotten the better of them in an argument, it has never,
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: ever once made me feel better, nor do I think
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: it has actually pushed some argument or debate forward. So
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: I don't think it's a good use of my time.
• 28:59
  Speaker 1: And I've gotten a lot better at muting a ton
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: of people I don't, I don't, I try not to
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: block either because once you block, they know you block.
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: And then some people, when you block them, then they
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: take a picture of you blocking them and they, Oh,
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: look who blocked. It's like not worth it. You mute them.
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: They don't know you mute them and they're just gone.
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: It's a good idea. So, um, and the other thing
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: I'm trying to think when I do tweet, like, what
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: am I putting out into the world right now? Like
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: is my tweet giving people useful information? Like, is it
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: amplifying a point or an argument I think is smart.
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: Is it drawing attention to something that I think is important?
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: Is it maybe like trying to make people laugh at
• 29:39
  Speaker 1: a time when people are like stressed and anxious? Like,
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: is it something funny I'm retweeting? But I saw this
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: tweet today from Mary Mnookian, who's a friend of the pod,
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: and she's a state rep in Michigan. And she said,
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: she tweeted, it takes literally no extra energy to not
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: be a complete and total jerk on this site or
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: in real life, especially to folks who've gone through emotional trauma. Also,
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: given that people often go through trauma silently, maybe just
• 30:04
  Speaker 1: don't be a jerk to anyone. It's just like something
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: I've been thinking of lately as we talk about the
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: pandemic and mental health challenges and what everyone's going through
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: right now. People are just having a tough time. Even
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: if I'm angry about something, like the Manchin thing yesterday.
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: I actually didn't tweet about Joe Manchin yesterday, partly because
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: I'm like, what is one more tweet calling Joe Manchin
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: a fucking asshole going to do to the conversation? Is
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: it going to change Joe Manchin's mind? Is it going
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: to move us closer to getting the piece of legislation
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: patch that we want? I don't think so. So like
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: maybe I don't have anything to say and that's okay.
• 30:38
  Speaker 2: I'm proud of you for realizing that.
• 30:39
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: It'll last until like tomorrow.
• 30:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah, definitely. Oh my God.
• 30:43
  Speaker 3: So many, so many phone questions, questions about your phone use.
• 30:47
  Speaker 3: Alex asks, how often does John actually spend on his phone?
• 30:52
  Speaker 3: Kyle asks, how often do you tell John to put
• 30:54
  Speaker 3: the phone down and focus, whether it's about Charlie Leo cooking,
• 30:57
  Speaker 3: being present, et cetera. And Danny-O asks, does John take
• 31:00
  Speaker 3: his phone on the toilet with him?
• 31:03
  Speaker 1: What else are you going to take on the toilet
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: with you?
• 31:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, to be fair... Okay, wait.
• 31:06
  Speaker 3: I will say, you take your phone on the toilet
• 31:09
  Speaker 3: with you, like normal people do, when they need to
• 31:12
  Speaker 3: use the bathroom. However, you also, like, pee with your
• 31:16
  Speaker 3: phone in your hand.
• 31:19
  Speaker 1: Like.
• 31:21
  Speaker 2: It's insane.
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: Probably not healthy.
• 31:24
  Speaker 2: It's insane. Like, you are peeing and scrolling Twitter.
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: It's only like a 30-second activity. No, no.
• 31:28
  Speaker 3: It's like, put your phone down. First of all, that's gross.
• 31:34
  Speaker 3: Second of all, like, you're not going to spend a
• 31:36
  Speaker 3: lot of time in there.
• 31:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah, okay.
• 31:37
  Speaker 2: So, yeah. But do I tell you to put your
• 31:40
  Speaker 2: phone down and focus?
• 31:41
  Speaker 3: I really don't because, I mean, I think it's a
• 31:44
  Speaker 3: combination of the fact that, like, I never know if–
• 31:48
  Speaker 3: I basically do know– what you're doing on your phone
• 31:52
  Speaker 3: is work. Like you're not just like totally ignoring our
• 31:54
  Speaker 3: family because you're like scrolling like hot girls on Instagram.
• 31:58
  Speaker 3: Like if that was the case, I would be like,
• 32:00
  Speaker 3: what are you doing? Um, but you are like doing work.
• 32:05
  Speaker 2: And I mean, I don't know.
• 32:07
  Speaker 3: I like, that just feels like a tricky bone to
• 32:10
  Speaker 3: pick and you're like self-aware enough to know like, okay,
• 32:14
  Speaker 3: we're having dinner.
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna put my phone down. We're both self-aware enough
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: to sort of like, we can, we've known each other
• 32:19
  Speaker 1: long enough now that we can kind of read each other.
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: And I can kind of tell if I'm like on
• 32:22
  Speaker 1: the phone and we're like, Hey, like, okay, stop, stop
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: at the phone.
• 32:26
  Speaker 3: Right. There's some nights where like, we've both had long
• 32:29
  Speaker 3: days and like, we just want like some phone time,
• 32:31
  Speaker 3: you know?
• 32:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 32:31
  Speaker 2: And that's fine.
• 32:32
  Speaker 3: And we're eating like some gross Postmates. But when we
• 32:36
  Speaker 3: like go out to a nice dinner or I made dinner,
• 32:38
  Speaker 3: it's the two of us, or it's the three of
• 32:39
  Speaker 3: us with Charlie.
• 32:40
  Speaker 2: Like we're not having our phones out.
• 32:41
  Speaker 1: That's right.
• 32:42
  Speaker 2: Good. Good for us.
• 32:44
  Speaker 3: Um, KGP asks both of us, what is your average
• 32:48
  Speaker 3: weekly screen time?
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: Uh, I just checked before the episode, six hours and
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: 15 minutes a week.
• 32:55
  Speaker 2: On your phone?
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: Average, yeah. Do you have yours?
• 32:57
  Speaker 2: Um, no, because you know why? I turned it off
• 33:02
  Speaker 2: when Charlie was.
• 33:03
  Speaker 3: Little because I have a valid reason.
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: I have a valid reason.
• 33:07
  Speaker 3: No, it's not. Because, um, I have the baby monitor
• 33:11
  Speaker 3: on my phone and so I keep it open all
• 33:14
  Speaker 3: like all the time.
• 33:15
  Speaker 2: And so I sleep with it on.
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: So Nanit is your app.
• 33:17
  Speaker 2: The Nanit is on in the middle of the night.
• 33:19
  Speaker 2: So like it truly would, it was saying like.
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: Fucking technicality.
• 33:23
  Speaker 2: Well, sorry. Maybe you could turn the monitor on. All right.
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: I have some, I have some for Emily. Swisky asks,
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: how many times a day do you go on Instagram?
• 33:34
  Speaker 2: I was trying to figure that out.
• 33:36
  Speaker 3: It totally depends on the day because some days I'm
• 33:39
  Speaker 3: like busy driving and like, I'm not Instagramming and driving.
• 33:42
  Speaker 3: But then other days when like, I'm just chilling. I'm
• 33:46
  Speaker 3: probably going like five times a day. But I have
• 33:49
  Speaker 3: an alert on Instagram where if I am on Instagram
• 33:52
  Speaker 3: for longer than an hour.
• 33:53
  Speaker 2: And 15 minutes.
• 33:54
  Speaker 1: You have that too? You have that alert?
• 33:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you don't?
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: No, Hamby told me about this during our episode.
• 33:59
  Speaker 2: For Instagram?
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: No, he has one for Twitter. He has one for
• 34:02
  Speaker 1: 15 minutes on Twitter.
• 34:03
  Speaker 2: 15 total?
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Hamby claims that he's only on Twitter.
• 34:06
  Speaker 2: That's such bullshit.
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: He claims he's only on for 15 minutes a day.
• 34:10
  Speaker 2: No, I set an hour and 15 minutes.
• 34:12
  Speaker 3: I don't know how I determined that, but usually at
• 34:15
  Speaker 3: night I get in bed and I'm scrolling and it's like,
• 34:18
  Speaker 3: you've been on Instagram for an hour and 15 minutes.
• 34:20
  Speaker 2: Is it time to close Instagram? And I'm like, yeah,
• 34:22
  Speaker 2: I guess.
• 34:23
  Speaker 1: I mean, you can override it. That's important.
• 34:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you can override it.
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: All right, maybe I'll do this for Twitter.
• 34:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you should.
• 34:27
  Speaker 1: Okay, that's good. S. Danver asks, how do you feel
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: about people tagging you, replying to you on social? Like
• 34:35
  Speaker 1: pod stuff's happening and then someone's like, oh, Emily Favreau.
• 34:38
  Speaker 2: Oh, I appreciate it.
• 34:38
  Speaker 1: I think it's fun.
• 34:39
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and then I know that something funny happened today
• 34:43
  Speaker 3: and I got an alert.
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: Usually it gives you an opportunity to make fun of
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: one of us, most of us.
• 34:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I mean, that's what social media is for, right?
• 34:51
  Speaker 2: Being social. Like I enjoy- adult interaction, which is limited
• 34:56
  Speaker 2: for me these days.
• 35:01
  Speaker 1: Offline is brought to you by Outer Known. If we
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  Speaker 4: And they're identical, except women's sizes are a size and
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, it doesn't make any sense. Universal sizing.
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  Speaker 1: take a second. Jumpsuits. Easy to get dressed in. Flattering
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• 38:42
  Speaker 1: this episode. Two big categories of questions remaining for you
• 38:52
  Speaker 1: about the two most important people in your life after
• 38:54
  Speaker 1: your family, John Lovett and Taylor Swift.
• 38:57
  Speaker 2: Oh, man.
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: Should we start with Lovett?
• 38:59
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 38:59
  Speaker 1: Okay, speed round for Lovett. T. Curl asks, favorite John
• 39:03
  Speaker 1: Lovett story? Hmm.
• 39:07
  Speaker 2: That's tough.
• 39:09
  Speaker 3: That's impossible. I've known John Lovett for 10 years. I
• 39:12
  Speaker 3: don't have a favorite story, but I have a favorite
• 39:14
  Speaker 3: time of John Lovett in my life.
• 39:16
  Speaker 2: And I think that's right when we moved to LA.
• 39:19
  Speaker 3: John Lovett moved in across the street from us. And
• 39:23
  Speaker 3: that's like kind of the time when Lovett and I
• 39:25
  Speaker 3: got really close. Like we liked each other before, but
• 39:28
  Speaker 3: that's when we would like really got into it. And
• 39:32
  Speaker 3: it's also when you guys were launching Crooked Media from
• 39:35
  Speaker 3: my home at the time. And like Lovett used to
• 39:38
  Speaker 3: like come over for dinner and like would end up
• 39:41
  Speaker 3: like watching TV and having a drink. And then he'd
• 39:43
  Speaker 3: like fall asleep on our couch in the living room
• 39:45
  Speaker 3: and he'd like sleep over. And then in the morning
• 39:47
  Speaker 3: he'd like send me a text like, Slept at the
• 39:49
  Speaker 3: office again. I forgot about that. And things were just
• 39:54
  Speaker 3: too close at that time.
• 39:55
  Speaker 1: A lot of people don't know. You think we're all close.
• 39:58
  Speaker 1: When we first moved to LA, Emily and I rented
• 40:01
  Speaker 1: a house across the street from my brother Andy and
• 40:05
  Speaker 1: now sister-in-law Molly. They were there first. We rented the
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: house across the street.
• 40:08
  Speaker 2: She was like, why are all these people moving onto
• 40:10
  Speaker 2: my street?
• 40:11
  Speaker 1: Lovett rented the house literally right next to them. Our
• 40:15
  Speaker 1: other friend Josh from growing up, rented the house two
• 40:18
  Speaker 1: doors down from us. And then when we started the
• 40:20
  Speaker 1: business and Tommy was living in San Francisco, Tommy briefly
• 40:22
  Speaker 1: lived in the guest house behind us. So we were
• 40:26
  Speaker 1: all in the same room.
• 40:27
  Speaker 3: Tommy also never admits that he did that. He's always like, oh,
• 40:30
  Speaker 3: I wasn't actually living there. I'm like, Tommy, you had
• 40:32
  Speaker 3: Amazon send shampoo to my house.
• 40:34
  Speaker 1: That's true, he did, yeah.
• 40:37
  Speaker 3: But Levitt would just totally act like, one time he
• 40:41
  Speaker 3: texted me, he was like, okay, I'm going to drop
• 40:43
  Speaker 3: Pundit off in a few hours. And I was like, what,
• 40:45
  Speaker 3: what are you talking about? Cause it's like the guy,
• 40:47
  Speaker 3: you guys were going on a trip. Um, and he
• 40:50
  Speaker 3: was like, yeah, you're going to watch pundit.
• 40:52
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 40:52
  Speaker 3: And I was like, I mean, no, you didn't ask
• 40:54
  Speaker 3: me at all. He's like, I could have sworn I
• 40:56
  Speaker 3: asked you. And I'm like, no, definitely not. And he's like, well,
• 41:00
  Speaker 3: will you watch pundit?
• 41:01
  Speaker 2: I'm like, what? Um, so then I watched pundit for
• 41:03
  Speaker 2: two days. One time pundit just showed up on our doorstep.
• 41:06
  Speaker 1: That was tough. Yeah. Pundit ran away from love.
• 41:09
  Speaker 2: Crossed the street, but.
• 41:11
  Speaker 1: Wanted to see Leo and was scratching at the door.
• 41:13
  Speaker 1: It was really cute, but also scary. Um, and Megan
• 41:16
  Speaker 1: Oyer asks, what's it like going shopping with Lovett? This
• 41:18
  Speaker 1: is a multiple questions like this.
• 41:20
  Speaker 2: Um, honestly, I love shopping with Lovett. It's one of
• 41:23
  Speaker 2: my favorite activities with him.
• 41:25
  Speaker 3: You have to account for the fact that he's going
• 41:26
  Speaker 3: to be 25 minutes later than he says we should
• 41:29
  Speaker 3: go shopping, which is actually works for me because I
• 41:33
  Speaker 3: kind of advanced the shopping trip and I pull.
• 41:35
  Speaker 2: Selects for him. And then he says, yes, no, yes, no. Um,
• 41:39
  Speaker 2: he's super efficient though. He's a good shopper. He likes
• 41:42
  Speaker 2: to take fashion risks, which I appreciate.
• 41:44
  Speaker 1: I'm like your husband.
• 41:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah, he's not like only getting like, oh, that green
• 41:47
  Speaker 2: sweater is a little too green. So yeah, it's fun.
• 41:52
  Speaker 3: And then like last time we went shopping last week,
• 41:54
  Speaker 3: we got a Wetzel's pretzel and Diet Cokes and it
• 41:58
  Speaker 3: was just like a great time.
• 41:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you guys have fun. Cat Pennies asks, who knows
• 42:02
  Speaker 1: more of Lovett's secrets? I think you do.
• 42:04
  Speaker 2: I think I do.
• 42:05
  Speaker 1: And I will say though, Lovett doesn't have a ton
• 42:07
  Speaker 1: of secrets. He's sort of an open book.
• 42:09
  Speaker 2: No, that's not true.
• 42:10
  Speaker 1: Okay, well then you definitely know more of the secrets
• 42:13
  Speaker 1: than I do. Lovett is good at keeping secrets. That's
• 42:18
  Speaker 1: what I was thinking of. Because Lovett always says that
• 42:21
  Speaker 1: he thinks so little about the secret that he hears,
• 42:25
  Speaker 1: he kind of just forgets about it.
• 42:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's true.
• 42:27
  Speaker 1: Like he's not, he doesn't like, he's not a gossiper.
• 42:29
  Speaker 2: That's actually not true.
• 42:31
  Speaker 1: Gossip? I think he's not a gossiper. He's not a gossip.
• 42:34
  Speaker 3: I think he's like pretty gossipy. I think we have
• 42:37
  Speaker 3: truly different relationships with him.
• 42:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think this is what I'm learning here in
• 42:40
  Speaker 1: this episode.
• 42:40
  Speaker 3: And I think he does tell you secrets. Like, if
• 42:43
  Speaker 3: you're in the office together, he'll confide in you.
• 42:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 42:46
  Speaker 2: But for me, he'll, like, call me with a secret.
• 42:48
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean? And he would never call you.
• 42:50
  Speaker 1: It's weird that you talk... Well, I don't talk on
• 42:51
  Speaker 1: the phone to anyone. It's weird that you talk on
• 42:52
  Speaker 1: the phone to Lovett a lot. Magnificent asks, did John
• 42:56
  Speaker 1: Lovett ever return that serving platter?
• 42:58
  Speaker 3: Actually, two weeks ago, when Lovett and Ronan came over
• 43:01
  Speaker 3: to play with Charlie, Lovett brought the platter and.
• 43:04
  Speaker 2: I like had totally forgotten about it.
• 43:06
  Speaker 3: It was like a white platter from like Target.
• 43:08
  Speaker 2: And he was like, I was like, oh my God, thanks.
• 43:10
  Speaker 3: I forgot about this. And he was like, well, then
• 43:12
  Speaker 3: it's like a gift because you forgot you had it.
• 43:13
  Speaker 3: So it's a gift from me. But he did not
• 43:16
  Speaker 3: return the mixing bowl that I lent him, which he
• 43:19
  Speaker 3: then used for Halloween candy and got stolen off his
• 43:21
  Speaker 3: front porch. And then he tweeted, my big pink bowl
• 43:25
  Speaker 3: got stolen on Halloween. And I was like, that's my
• 43:27
  Speaker 3: pink bowl.
• 43:27
  Speaker 1: Not yours at all. All right, Taylor Swift speed round.
• 43:31
  Speaker 1: Nat Van Dogg, least favorite Taylor Swift ex-boyfriend.
• 43:35
  Speaker 3: Not Jake Gyllenhaal because he gave us the best song
• 43:38
  Speaker 3: of all time.
• 43:39
  Speaker 2: That's a good argument.
• 43:40
  Speaker 3: And you can't discount that love. That's a real experience.
• 43:44
  Speaker 3: Probably someone boring like Taylor Lautner or something.
• 43:47
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 43:47
  Speaker 2: You don't even know who that is.
• 43:49
  Speaker 1: I do know Taylor Lautner. He was the movies with
• 43:51
  Speaker 1: the vampires. Good work. Sorry.
• 43:56
  Speaker 2: Good work.
• 43:57
  Speaker 1: Go-to Swift album. This is a tough one.
• 44:00
  Speaker 2: I think for me, it's Red. Especially right now with the.
• 44:03
  Speaker 1: I was going to say, it's hard- With Taylor's version.
• 44:05
  Speaker 2: But for me, before that, it was Red.
• 44:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I might say the same for me, too. But
• 44:10
  Speaker 1: now it's Taylor's version.
• 44:12
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 44:13
  Speaker 1: Joni Plunkett, please rank Taylor track fives.
• 44:17
  Speaker 2: Okay, this is the only question I prepared for.
• 44:19
  Speaker 1: I also prepared for this. You go first.
• 44:22
  Speaker 2: Coming in number one, obviously, All Too Well. Mm-hmm. Coming
• 44:27
  Speaker 2: in number two, Delicate.
• 44:28
  Speaker 1: Oh my god, so far you have mine.
• 44:31
  Speaker 2: Three, Dear John.
• 44:32
  Speaker 1: Oh, okay, that's where we diverge.
• 44:34
  Speaker 2: Four, My Tears Ricochet.
• 44:36
  Speaker 1: Mm-hmm.
• 44:37
  Speaker 2: Five, The Archer.
• 44:39
  Speaker 1: Mine is all too well, delicate, tolerate it, My Tears Ricochet,
• 44:42
  Speaker 1: Dear John.
• 44:43
  Speaker 2: Interesting. Wow, a lot more overlap than I thought there.
• 44:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah, pretty good. And then The Primary Demon asks, which
• 44:51
  Speaker 1: release do you think is next?
• 44:54
  Speaker 2: I think 1989.
• 44:57
  Speaker 3: That's my guess there's lots of easter eggs that point
• 45:00
  Speaker 3: to 1989.
• 45:01
  Speaker 1: Here's where i can't figure it out is 1989 the
• 45:04
  Speaker 1: chronologically did it come right after red or where.
• 45:07
  Speaker 3: Does reputation come it goes 1989 then reputation oh so
• 45:11
  Speaker 3: i think 1989 too yeah 1989 is just a better
• 45:14
  Speaker 3: album than reputation.
• 45:15
  Speaker 1: It is oh i don't know we could get into
• 45:17
  Speaker 1: that uh finally a few more for both of us
• 45:19
  Speaker 1: uh CMR95 asks, what do you do to stay connected
• 45:24
  Speaker 1: after the baby? It's been hard to go on dates
• 45:26
  Speaker 1: during a pandemic. Yes.
• 45:28
  Speaker 2: Yes, it has, CMR95.
• 45:32
  Speaker 1: We try to go on dates once in a while.
• 45:34
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 45:36
  Speaker 2: We're killing it.
• 45:37
  Speaker 1: Well, it's weird to say, how do you stay connected?
• 45:38
  Speaker 1: Because I feel like... We've been around each other nonstop
• 45:44
  Speaker 1: for two years, last two years.
• 45:45
  Speaker 2: Oh, that feels kind of rude.
• 45:48
  Speaker 1: I just feel very connected to you. Yeah.
• 45:50
  Speaker 2: No, I think it's more about like putting our phones down.
• 45:56
  Speaker 2: Like you're, we're lucky.
• 45:57
  Speaker 3: Like your parents live 30 minutes away. Like we've been
• 46:01
  Speaker 3: able to like, they've come and stayed at our house
• 46:03
  Speaker 3: with Char. We've gone away for a weekend.
• 46:06
  Speaker 2: Um, but I don't know.
• 46:09
  Speaker 3: I mean, we left our house on a Saturday. this
• 46:11
  Speaker 3: week when your parents came and babysat and we were like,
• 46:14
  Speaker 3: we walked like right down the street from our house
• 46:16
  Speaker 3: and got like coffees.
• 46:17
  Speaker 2: And we were like, this is cool.
• 46:19
  Speaker 1: It feels like we're dating. It was, it was two
• 46:22
  Speaker 1: o'clock on a Saturday afternoon. We're like, look at this date.
• 46:24
  Speaker 1: We're just walking down Larchmont. This is fun. Um, uh,
• 46:29
  Speaker 1: Keyla Finn too asked to Charlie say mama or data first.
• 46:33
  Speaker 2: I think he said mama. And then he like stopped
• 46:36
  Speaker 2: and then he started only saying data.
• 46:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah. He also says daddy.
• 46:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah, he only says daddy. But like.
• 46:45
  Speaker 1: And he says everything. Yeah.
• 46:46
  Speaker 2: Big talker now.
• 46:48
  Speaker 1: And Silversmith asks, Emily, who is Leo's favorite human? John,
• 46:52
  Speaker 1: how amazing is Emily?
• 46:53
  Speaker 2: Oh, that's so nice. Leo's favorite human is me.
• 46:59
  Speaker 1: Is me. He likes me a lot.
• 47:01
  Speaker 2: No, I agree.
• 47:02
  Speaker 3: But he.
• 47:03
  Speaker 1: I actually think that since Charlie was born, he knows
• 47:06
  Speaker 1: that you are like more attached to Charlie than.
• 47:08
  Speaker 2: This is just all.
• 47:10
  Speaker 1: And he's like, he's like sleeps over by my side
• 47:12
  Speaker 1: of the bed.
• 47:12
  Speaker 2: Only because you pull him over there. He's with me. He,
• 47:17
  Speaker 2: you don't take him to the office anymore. He's with
• 47:18
  Speaker 2: me all day.
• 47:19
  Speaker 1: Well, we're sort of, you know, in and out of
• 47:21
  Speaker 1: the office.
• 47:21
  Speaker 3: I know, but I, Leo, like Leo wants to be
• 47:25
  Speaker 3: loved by me. He wants to play with you.
• 47:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's very true.
• 47:30
  Speaker 2: It's sort of the same as Charlie.
• 47:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that is also true. Yeah. I'm a, I'm a
• 47:33
  Speaker 1: big player. Um, how amazing is Emily? Look, Emily saw
• 47:37
  Speaker 1: this question and was like, don't say anything lame here.
• 47:40
  Speaker 1: So I guess I'm not going to say anything lame.
• 47:43
  Speaker 2: I don't like public affection. I don't want to do
• 47:45
  Speaker 2: this on the podcast.
• 47:46
  Speaker 1: I will say this. I will say this. I think
• 47:49
  Speaker 1: that two years in a pandemic with a child is
• 47:54
  Speaker 1: probably as good a test as any for a marriage.
• 47:57
  Speaker 2: I agree with that.
• 47:58
  Speaker 1: And I think that knowing that both of us are
• 48:04
  Speaker 1: anxious people I will say that you for sure have
• 48:09
  Speaker 1: been the steady one for the last two years and
• 48:12
  Speaker 1: you have made our lives easier and better and you've
• 48:17
  Speaker 1: made us laugh and you have like been a rock
• 48:20
  Speaker 1: during this whole thing. You have. And I like, that's
• 48:23
  Speaker 1: something that I've, I mean, I find you amazing for
• 48:25
  Speaker 1: 10 years as long as we've known each other, but
• 48:28
  Speaker 1: for the last two years, that's what I've appreciated most.
• 48:32
  Speaker 2: Well, it's the cologne. You should cut that. I'm joking.
• 48:38
  Speaker 2: But mental health matters.
• 48:41
  Speaker 1: Thank you for doing this. This wasn't so bad, was it?
• 48:44
  Speaker 3: No.
• 48:44
  Speaker 2: I mean, I don't want to do it again.
• 48:45
  Speaker 1: Do you want to go on Love It or Leave
• 48:47
  Speaker 1: It and do the Rant Wheel, maybe? You want to
• 48:49
  Speaker 1: talk about foreign policy with Tommy and Ben?
• 48:50
  Speaker 2: No, that sounds awful.
• 48:51
  Speaker 1: You have a lot of options for other cricket podcasts
• 48:53
  Speaker 1: to do.
• 48:54
  Speaker 2: No, I'm launching my own. You heard it here first. Perfect.
• 48:57
  Speaker 1: What's it going to be about?
• 48:58
  Speaker 2: It's going to be about how many times Charlie has
• 49:00
  Speaker 2: pooped today.
• 49:03
  Speaker 1: You can go and keep it with Ira. You have
• 49:04
  Speaker 1: a lot of options.
• 49:06
  Speaker 2: I could talk to Alyssa and Erin, my girls.
• 49:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I was going to say, this is just the
• 49:10
  Speaker 1: beginning of your crooked career. Happy New Year, everyone. Thank
• 49:13
  Speaker 1: you for listening to Offline. And I should say to everyone, too,
• 49:17
  Speaker 1: I know we're just going to do eight episodes of Offline,
• 49:19
  Speaker 1: but we're just going to keep going. going. So there'll
• 49:21
  Speaker 1: be more offline in the new year.
• 49:22
  Speaker 2: Thrilled to hear that.
• 49:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Thanks Emily.
• 49:25
  Speaker 2: I love you.
• 49:26
  Speaker 1: Love you too. Offline is a crooked media production. It's
• 49:38
  Speaker 1: written and hosted by me, Jon Favreau. It's produced by
• 49:42
  Speaker 1: Andy Gardner Bernstein and Austin Fisher. Andrew Chadwick is our
• 49:45
  Speaker 1: audio editor. Kyle Seglin and Charlotte Landis sound engineered the show.
• 49:50
  Speaker 1: Jordan Katz and Kenny Siegel take care of our music.
• 49:53
  Speaker 1: Thanks to Tanya Sominator, Michael Martinez, Ari Schwartz, Madison Holman,
• 49:57
  Speaker 1: and Sandy Gerard for production support. And to our digital team,
• 50:01
  Speaker 1: Elijah Cohn, Nar Melkonian, and Amelia Montooth, who film and
• 50:04
  Speaker 1: share our episodes as videos every week.