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We Finally Watched Constantine · Average Home Theater Reviews

• speaker-0: Average home theater reviews. We finally watched it. Demons keep knocking at Heaven's back door Cross in his pocket, ice in his veins Fighting through fire while dragging his chains The world is bleeding, the darkness is fed Heaven stays silent while Hell wants him dead Can a sinner save a son? Staring down the devil in the night Average home theater is taking you inside speaker-1: Hey, welcome in Average Home Theater. I am Nelson. speaker-0: Hey, what's up? It's producing Nick. speaker-1: And we finally watched it. speaker-0: We finally watched it. speaker-1: I never really had a whole lot of interest in this movie. But for some reason you brought it up. Do you remember why? speaker-0: Thanks. We were talking about it at work and I don't remember how it came up, but it was one of those that I mean, I've heard of it before, never really knew what it was about, but always heard that it was pretty good. Right. And that we again talked about it at work and everyone said, ⁓ my God, I can't believe you haven't seen. Yeah. Yeah. I thought that's something that you would have already seen, but we started talking about it and realized that neither one of us had ever seen it. So. ⁓ We just, wanted to watch it. think we wanted to do it a couple of weeks ago. It fell through. speaker-1: Right. But that was a Easter weekend. So and ⁓ I never really had a whole lot of interest, but I'm in a few horror groups on Facebook and stuff like that. And lots of people talk about this movie. It seems to be well liked. Yeah. IMDb has a seven out of time, which, in the way I think if you get a seven, that's a pretty darn good movie, right? speaker-0: high score. Good. And, and especially recently I've been paying more attention because I think these IMDB scores are, it's based on fan reviews. speaker-1: Right. It's just people who you create an IMDB account and speaker-0: Yeah, it's not like somebody at IMDB giving in a score. It's people who have seen the movie and they're rating it. And I usually think they're fairly accurate. If not, if not sometimes a little low. speaker-1: pretty close. Better than Rotten Tomatoes is what you're saying. Yeah. Rotten Tomatoes, have your whole audience score and your critics score and it gets a little audience score. speaker-0: Yeah, this pretty much Yeah, yeah. So yeah, it played well on it played well on IMDB. So I was I've been kind of looking forward to seeing it. And ⁓ so we watched it. speaker-1: So the, the basic premise of the movie is Keanu Reeves, who plays John Constantine is a, like an exorcist, but it's a non-traditional, like he's not like a priest exorcist. He's blessed with the gift to see things and he can send what he calls what half breeds. They're demons and they're not, no, no, half breeds are allowed to stay on earth. Demons and angels cannot come. speaker-0: right. Right. And there's a there's a balance. speaker-1: Correct. Yeah. And anytime a demon tries to enter, he sends them back, right? Or half breeds. He sends back. It's so convoluted. It's hard to understand. speaker-0: He's got a he's got a priest like an actual priest that helps him find the demons and you know that he kind of reports to him whatever and yeah, it was ⁓ I'll be honest. I didn't understand the whole lot, right? speaker-1: And he never explained that, okay, they're spoilers people. So if you haven't seen this, don't watch it. But I would assume people who are watching this have seen the movie. Did he ever really say if he was actually given the task of doing that? Like he just does it. He's trying to earn his speaker-0: trying to wait. He had these visions and he noticed as a young as a young guy, he could suicide. So he's his soul is damned to hell. Right. But he was saved. He died for two minutes. He was saved. And then now the rest of his life, he's been trying to redeem himself to get back in the heaven. Right. And he thinks that this helping sin in the demons back is going to help him. Anyway, he finds out from the angel Gabriel. speaker-1: Thank you. which is not how it works, but. That's right. That's Gabriel, speaker-0: That it's gonna take more than speaker-1: Well, the way it works is you cannot good deed or works yourself into heaven. Anyone who's a Christian knows that you cannot earn your way into heaven just by works. And that's what he was trying to do. And that's not how it works. And Gabriel explains that to him. So he's... He's doing this thinking that he can work his way into heaven, it's in the Bible and everything else, and specifically says you cannot work your way into heaven. speaker-0: And he is trying to, guess, figure out like, okay, well, what do I have to do? What's it? Yeah. speaker-1: Yeah. And I knew that at the end he was going, something was going to happen for him to earn his way, which self-sacrifice is the number one way to get in, you know, doing for others, not worried about yourself. speaker-0: And because Rachel Weiss is Rachel Weiss vice. I think Rachel Weiss is character comes along. She's a detective. She's got a twin sister who's to this. There's two of them. I'm on the spot. speaker-1: Vice. Two of them? What movie is that from? That's a quote. There's two of them. double impact with y'all Claude Van Damme. Come on now, how could you forget that masterpiece? speaker-0: Yeah, you're right. Sorry. I guess I'm gonna watch it again, but actually watch it this time. It's a good movie. Rachel Weisz comes along. She's got a twin sister that is a is a bell and her name is Grace, I believe. I don't don't remember. speaker-1: watched it ⁓ let's look on the internet movie database. Angela angel. ⁓ speaker-0: How did I forget that Yeah, I remember thinking that during the movie that I forgot ⁓ she she commits suicide she's having the visions commit her and she commits suicide and then the ⁓ Angela Doesn't believe that it was a suicide. I've never done that but they both had the gift They both have the gift you find out out later. Yeah, but she runs in the Constantine and asked him to help her find out. Okay, what happened to cuz I speaker-1: having a vision. No, there's no way she committed suicide. Right. Yeah. And he he does. And now what's interesting about this movie is there's so many things like little ritual things that he does. That I've never seen in any other movie that's of this subject matter. Yeah. He just he can just go to hell. Yeah, he can strap himself into an old electric chair and go to hell this way and go to hell that way and put his tubs. speaker-0: his feet in some water and hold a. Yeah. speaker-1: Hold a cat like. So here's where that's kind of where the movie. ⁓ I guess I'll say lost me. It never really had me, I'll be quite honest. speaker-0: Yeah, I was... speaker-1: Because we haven't talked about this, by the way. This is the first we we stopped the movie and we prepared the table. And here we are. Here we are. Fresh. I just. I'm positive. I'm going to say the positive real quick. Yeah. The movie sounded amazing, and that's a digital stream from HBO Max. speaker-0: sound and the the sound was great yeah from the very beginning from the opening introduction thing with the movie very speaker-1: local surround mix. lot of mixes don't, you know, don't really utilize the rear channels a lot. This is just a 5.1 mix. But this one did it was very active the whole speaker-0: When when he's in hell and the demons are swirling and everything all around you and overhead and everything Yeah, the sound was great. I thought the visuals were awesome. I the the speaker-1: Yeah, for 2005 it wasn't bad. Yeah. speaker-0: Yeah. The sequence where ⁓ she gets taken and she's going through the walls and the demons taking her, she's crashing through the wall. That was cool. That was awesome. ⁓ There was another there. speaker-1: I like the fight scene at the end with all the half breeds with Keanu and Shia LaBeouf. speaker-0: That's what that was neat. Yeah, that was neat. ⁓ well, this comically ridiculous Jesus gun. speaker-1: Jesus cross gun with with was it. speaker-0: holy water speaker-1: know, I mean, the bullets though, they use it out of blessed. Yeah, like anything that was blessed, I guess by a priest at some point. speaker-0: When he was loading them when he was there was a bag like a like an IV bag of blood. Yeah, they didn't I know. There's a lot of stuff. I just didn't know. But yeah, we would definitely touch on it looked inside. It sounded awesome and looked again for 2005 whenever it was better than the Star Wars prequels. See, CGI. speaker-1: And a digital stream, mean. ⁓ what? That doesn't take a whole lot. speaker-0: I could have made a movie on my. speaker-1: Taitai Modi's special effects were better. speaker-0: ⁓ by far, by far, which that was a lot of fun. That's a great movie. That was a lot of fun. ⁓ So yeah, it never really, really grabbed me. I got bored. speaker-1: I thought the writing was horrendous. I thought the dialogue was terrible. A couple of the actors were able to pull it off because they're much better than Keanu. Keanu's like, I mean, let's be honest people, he's not the greatest actor in the world, but he has that Keanu charm that he normally gets by on. speaker-0: I was expecting that him to be kind of bad. He wasn't bad, but there were pork. speaker-1: There were parts where he was really bad. ⁓ But overall, just it didn't his dialogue didn't work for me till the Sweden play Swinton till the Swinton plays Gabriel. She did great. I mean, she but she's a great actress. So vice was good. ⁓ The guy from Gladiator, the black guy that was in ⁓ thrash. You say his name, he was good. speaker-0: awesome so ⁓ and racial vice was awesome Shaman Hanzo, however, speaker-1: The, he was kind of like his Transformers character kind of, ⁓ and the guy I said is from Louisiana. played the bald priest with the, ⁓ the wild eyes. He, ⁓ he was good. He's always good. speaker-0: Isla buff was in it. Yeah. And there was some good humor in the movie too a couple yeah, we expect it ⁓ Yeah, and then Peter Storm air shows up at the end as himself Hey, yeah, he was he was really good. Yeah. Yeah, just big and larger than life and creepy. Mm-hmm Yeah, he was good Acting wise Keanu was the the weak part speaker-1: Spots for you. We called him Lou. I thought that was hilarious. But I just, I don't know, man. I don't understand how this gets a seven and how people like it so much. speaker-0: I have no interest. There was a point where when we were talking about watching it, there was a point where I was thinking about just getting it because it had reviewed so well because I had heard so much good stuff about it. I'm very glad I didn't. I'll never. speaker-1: ⁓ no. Yeah, I'm not gonna watch this again, especially since I watched the devil's advocate just a couple of days ago. ⁓ speaker-0: Yeah, don't get much better than that. speaker-1: a good Keanu performance and that is a movie about like the devil and that type of stuff. That movie is fantastic. How it doesn't get more praise than it does. It's like it's rated lower than this in IMDb. It's rated at 6.8. Like, are you kidding me? Like, are y'all watching the same movies that we're watching? speaker-0: There's been critic reviews of that and they talk about ⁓ Al Pacino over acted and all kind of stuff like he was he was Al Pacino playing the devil. speaker-1: He was like, I'm like, I'm gonna say this. Okay. And this will probably end up going down as a real or as a short, but in my opinion, it's my favorite Al Pacino performance and it might be his best. speaker-0: spoiler I can't think of anything better and I can't think of anything to refute that. speaker-1: I mean, sure, the Godfather, he's good. speaker-0: I mean not Al Pacino the football coach in any given Sunday speaker-1: I just, he, when you watch the devil's advocate, you think the whole time you're watching the devil. So anyway, but that's, that's a different movie. We're here for Constantine. I, I just don't, I didn't like it. I, I was very disappointed and I was, I wasn't looking as forward to it as you were. But I I had heard so many good things about it. I was like, okay, it's probably going to be good. Nelson just watched it. speaker-0: We went off the- And let's finally watch it and see what all the hype is about. And we left it still wondering what all the hype is. Yeah. speaker-1: I don't get it. don't don't I don't get it guys. Yeah, I don't regret watching it. But I was I was very disappointed. I really I went into wanting to like it, especially after watching the devil's advocate the other day. I really was I didn't think it was gonna be the sound knew it wasn't the same type of movie. But I didn't. I don't know. I thought I'd like it more. speaker-0: But I'm glad we finally watched it. Yeah. The visuals and the sound and all that stuff made it worth it and some of the performances, guess. But, ⁓ and we didn't mention this. I'm still not sure what the whole spirit of destiny had to do with. speaker-1: anything. Well, it had the blood of Christ on it. And it had they had to use that to release the devil's son. ⁓ that's what it was. Yeah, there was she said that at one point that there's still dried blood. speaker-0: ⁓ yeah, that's right. Must have faded when they talked about that. I do remember that. That's right. Cause he got into Rachel vice after. speaker-1: And whenever the guy was reading the Corinthians chapters that aren't in the regular Bible, they're in the... what is it? The Devil's Bible? It talks about how the blood of one son is needed to raise the other son or something like that. speaker-0: He had his own body. may or may not have momentarily gone unconscious. There was a point where I closed my eyes and I don't know how much time passed. It wasn't much. I do remember that because they talked about, Corinthians doesn't go that high. I remember that. just. speaker-1: Did you really? I didn't notice. It goes, yeah, it stops. I forget what book it stops at, but this was Corinthian 17. 17 doesn't exist. And Keanu goes, it Or it goes up to 21. speaker-0: It does in the devil's body. Yeah, I remember that. just had mentally kind of checked. speaker-1: So yeah, I just thought that it was very, it was convoluted. The dialogue wasn't written very well. Hard to understand. There's no explanation for a lot of it. speaker-0: So in something. speaker-1: Then they tell you holy water when the sprinkler system starts raining down on them. guess he takes it. They needed some exposition so they had to tell you was whole. speaker-0: We will. Shia LaBeouf takes the cross and puts it into the reservoir for this right system. she. speaker-1: says holy water like she verbally says it. speaker-0: That's the one part we figured out that they didn't have to tell us. ⁓ speaker-1: So the most obvious thing, they have to have some exposition, but all the other crap that was so convoluted, you're just like, what? What did they say? Why? speaker-0: So so something else to keep in mind that just kind of hit me. This is a comic book character. This is a comic book movie. I'm pretty sure. So when you look at it from that perspective and especially in what 2005. It's a comic book movie. It's good for a comic book adaptation, right? Because at that time we didn't have any very many good ones, maybe. I don't know. I'm trying to be positive. speaker-1: No. Yeah, he's trying to be positive, but it's not working. speaker-0: trying to appeal to my better angels. Yeah. Sorry. speaker-1: Yeah, no. So this did not go well for our first. ⁓ We finally watched it. We're going to try a little series here where we finally watch movies that most people like that we just for some reason slip through the cracks and whether it's one or both of us, we're going to do this. So I know there's lots of older movies that I've seen that Nick hasn't seen. And so we'll try to do this a little more. Just this first one. Neither one of us had seen it. So let's say, hey, Let's try this, but. speaker-0: I was hoping that would go a little bit. speaker-1: It's gonna be a no for me, dog. This is a five, meaning it's an average movie. It's not like a horrible movie. Yeah, but I just don't think it's very good. So it's just gonna be a five for me. speaker-0: Yeah, I'm not. ⁓ Same. regrets, I don't, I don't. I don't get, I'm very glad I didn't buy it. I would have tried to sell it to you. speaker-1: Good thing you didn't buy it. No, I bought my own copy of Halloween 3. speaker-0: Which I actually owned before you did. speaker-1: And I thought that was my last one, but I realized that I don't own Rob Zombie's H2. So I need to get that one. Then my collection is complete. I'll have them all. speaker-0: I think I had gotten them, I think they came together. speaker-1: together. Yes, there is a pack where they come together. speaker-0: I need to watch those again. I've seen them once and I remember liking them, but I don't I would need to watch them again. So Halloween is going to be here. October Spooky Seasons is to be here before. speaker-1: be here before you know it. there anything else you'd like to add to this review of Constantine? speaker-0: No, let us know how you think we're wrong because again speaker-1: Yeah. I'd like to know why people like it so much. It reminded me of a little bit of Abraham Lincoln vampire hunter, but I enjoyed that more than this. That is a completely ridiculous movie, but it was kind of fun. And then I have it in 3d. So I watched in 3d. So, you know, it just, it was meant to be fun. speaker-0: Yeah. ⁓ Are you telling me that Abraham Lincoln vampire hunter was ridiculous? speaker-1: Yes, for some reason. don't know. Was it the name of the movie that? speaker-0: gave it away. I don't know. I guess always just speaker-1: I bought it off of eBay for like $8 because it's and a lot of people say it's a it's a good 3d movie. So I said, Okay, I'll get it just just for that. And it was okay. It was better than I enjoyed it more than this. Really? Yeah. Because you know, it's something absolutely ridiculous. I expected it to be really good after everything that I saw. And it just really wasn't speaker-0: Yeah. I'm never seeing that one. Yeah, me too. Very, very, very disappointed. Disappointed. That's good way to sum this one up. Very disappointed. speaker-1: Kind of like Oppenheimer. Remember how disappointed we were in that? Yeah. And I think the Odyssey's gonna be the same thing. speaker-0: Yeah. I don't even know. That's too much. That's too much to get into. All right. Or Mandalorian and Grogu. ⁓ sorry. Sorry. Sorry. I'm not going to see it. I'm I'm not going to see it. So anyway, sorry. Well, we usually try not to end on a negative note, but here we are here. Yeah. speaker-1: and Dominic. No, I'll wait for Disney Play. So yes, please like, subscribe, tell your friends and we'll catch you on the next one. speaker-0: See you.