Latest / ok storytime / My brother SNOOPED on my mother and discovered her new partner... now he's angry! -r/relationships | Reddit Stories | EP3159

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My brother SNOOPED on my mother and discovered her new partner... now he's angry! -r/relationships | Reddit Stories | EP3159 · ok storytime

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hey, this is Dakota. And this is Angie, your favorite
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: OK Storytime hosts. And we've got some great stories coming up.
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: But before that, we have a quick two minute break
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: from the sponsors that keep the show alive.
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: My brother snooped on my mother and discovered her new partner.
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: Now he's angry.
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: I'm so angry.
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: A bit of background info. My 22 female parents divorce
• 0:23
  Speaker 2: was finalized just five months ago. But the divorce proceedings
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: dragged on for a while, and I knew my parents
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: briefly separated when I was in high school, so I
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: really had already gotten used to the idea of my
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: parents being divorced. And being a bit older, I knew
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: they'd been having marital problems for a long time. My
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: dad also had several affairs while married to my mother,
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: 43 female. Needless to say, I truly believe my parents
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: are better off apart than together, and I haven't considered
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: them married for several years now. My baby brother, 12
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: male on the other hand, was absolutely devastated by the divorce.
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: And I completely understand. When our parents separated, he was
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: at that age where most kids think the world of
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: their parents. And of course, he doesn't really know about
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: the affairs, marital problems, etc. Because he was young when
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: it all started. Mom and dad decided to be as
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: amicable as possible in front of him during the divorce process.
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: And on top of that, my brother's living arrangement has
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: also changed, which I'm sure is incredibly stressful to a kid.
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: Dad makes a lot more money than Mom, so when
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: they divorced, they sold our family home, the only house
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: my brother has ever known, and now he and Mom
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: live in a smaller townhouse. Our parents technically have joint
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: custody of him, but Dad travels a lot for work,
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: so really he lives with Mom most of the week.
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: He sees Dad on weekends, and plus, since the separation,
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: Mom has had to get a full-time job, whereas before,
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: my brother was used to her being home most of
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: the time. By the way, this comes from BigSister1, and
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: if you want to submit your own stories, go to
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: the r slash showcase story time subreddit.
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: I'm Sophia. I'm Nakoto.
• 1:56
  Speaker 3: I'm Keon.
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: And we're here to give good advice goofily, but we
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: don't have all the answers. We only got some of
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: the answers, and if you've got the rest of those answers,
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: put them down below.
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: And a more story.
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: OP says, Even though I'm away at school, I'm close
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: to both my mom and my brother, so I Skype
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: with them all the time. As far as I knew,
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: things were going relatively well. Two months ago, my mom
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: revealed that she has been dating someone for the past
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: six months, and it's getting pretty serious. Naturally, I asked
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: about her new boyfriend, but she was pretty evasive about everything.
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: She just said, He's a professor, half Asian and half white.
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: This was brought up only because I asked for a
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: pic first, and she refused, then attempted to describe him
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: as having brown hair, brown eyes. LOL, how descriptive.
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: Thanks, mom.
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: That they were friends first and she wasn't ready yet
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: at the time, but that I'd get to meet him
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: when I come home for the summer. She also asked
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: me not to tell my brother yet so that we
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: can meet him together when everyone's ready. I wish she
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: told me more, but honestly, I thought this was all
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: fairly reasonable behavior for a divorced parent dating again for
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: the first time in two decades. I didn't press her further,
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: and I was beyond thrilled that she was moving on.
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: About a month ago, my brother started suspecting that my
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: mom was seeing someone Not really sure how he came
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: to figure it out, but he is 12 and mom
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: wasn't as subtle as she thought she was being. He
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: would occasionally relay proof to me and would treat it
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: as sort of like detective work. I didn't enable him,
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: but I have to admit, I didn't really take it
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: seriously either, nor did I tell my mom. I was
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: also busy with finals last month, and I thought he
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: was just playing around. I mean, he wrote things like,
• 3:35
  Speaker 2: Exhibit A, mom was gone for four hours, came back
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: with groceries.
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: I know it's happening, I just can't prove it.
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: Mom's too happy.
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: Oh, 600, mom went on a run. I didn't see
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: her for two hours. That's too long.
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: She was moving her furniture at a strange hour. 1200.
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: Mom was upstairs for three hours. That was too long.
• 3:56
  Speaker 3: I know I have it figured out. It's there. I
• 3:58
  Speaker 3: have it.
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: What was I supposed to do? I didn't realize the
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: extent of his detective work until last night when he
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: Skyped me saying he saw mom kissing a woman.
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: Late 30s to 40s.
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: A woman he's apparently met before as one of mom's friends.
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: This little boy is a genius. This is the little
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: boy genius.
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: This little boy could sniff out five counties away.
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: In front of a restaurant. Apparently for the past week,
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: he's also been logging into her Facebook on the desktop computer.
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: He found her.
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: Password on the browser saved passwords list and read her
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: private messages with this woman who is the boyfriend mom
• 4:32
  Speaker 2: told me about. The other day when mom's phone was out,
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: my bro read the messages on her lock screen and
• 4:38
  Speaker 2: this is how he found out where and when they
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: were going on a date. He then looked up the address,
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: took a bus there in an attempt to catch them
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: in the act and went home. Of course, I immediately
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: told my brother that what he did was an extreme
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: violation of privacy. He was surprised by my reaction, as
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: he thought I'd feel the sense of betrayal he felt.
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: He's angry at mom for keeping a secret, and now
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: in his mind their divorce happened due to her identity.
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: I knew there had been some friction between mom and
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: my brother since the separation, but I thought things had
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: been getting better. Last night, just about everything came out.
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: His anger at mom, how she's never home... I don't
• 5:16
  Speaker 2: think this is true. It's just because he was used
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: to her being mostly a stay-at-home mom who only works part-time.
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: How he always has more fun at dad's. And now
• 5:24
  Speaker 2: that mom is responsible for the divorce because she's attracted
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: to the same gender. I tried to reason with him
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: and comfort him as much as I could, but I
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: don't think it helped much. It's also hard because I
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: know more about our parents' marriage than him. I'm not
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: sure how much I'm allowed to disclose to him without
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: our parents' permission. Well, he's figured everything else out, so
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: maybe it's time, you know? Maybe we sit down and
• 5:45
  Speaker 2: we have the talk, because otherwise he'll figure it out.
• 5:48
  Speaker 3: The truth is going to come out sooner or later.
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: I love my baby brother so much. He's a good kid.
• 5:53
  Speaker 2: The divorce has just been difficult, and it's causing him
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: to behave this way.
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: Buddy, the divorce isn't mom's fault because she likes women.
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: The divorce is Because we're the kids. It's our fault.
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: I mean, because we don't.
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: Right now, the only thing I've managed to do is
• 6:09
  Speaker 2: convince him to not tell dad about mom's girlfriend. I'm
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: also unsure how to talk to mom about this. I
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: feel like she has to know what my brother did
• 6:17
  Speaker 2: and that it's her responsibility to tell him whatever she
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: feels he should know. Not me. He's 12. I don't
• 6:24
  Speaker 2: think it'd be a bad idea for my mom to
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: tell him what's been going on with her life. But
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: at the same time, if she's struggling to come to
• 6:29
  Speaker 2: terms with her identity, I don't want to pressure her.
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: I love my mom. I don't care what her orientation
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: is or who she wants to date. It's not like
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: she was cheating on my dad when they were married.
• 6:40
  Speaker 2: I'm just struggling how to even start the conversation with her.
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: Should I talk to my brother first and try to
• 6:45
  Speaker 2: get him to come clean? Or just tell my mom
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: what he did and possibly risk him getting even angrier?
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: I really have no idea. We do have an update.
• 6:53
  Speaker 2: What do you think? Do we tell mom? Do we
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: tell OP's brother to stop?
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: I don't know. I think you do both.
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like you could do both. I feel
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: like you could talk to him before and say, hey,
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: let's talk to mom about this.
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: Update.
• 7:07
  Speaker 2: I Skyped with my mom several hours after I made
• 7:09
  Speaker 2: the post, just so she immediately knew where I stood.
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: I started by saying I knew about her girlfriend and
• 7:14
  Speaker 2: that I was supportive of her relationship. I apologized for
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: bringing it up before she was ready, but felt it
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: was necessary because of what my brother did. I told
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: her pretty much everything. All the snooping, his comments about
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: her being responsible for the divorce due to her identity.
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: It was horrible. She had no idea and actually thought
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: my brother had been doing better recently. She was so
• 7:34
  Speaker 2: surprised and felt guilty for not noticing. Apparently, she's been
• 7:38
  Speaker 2: struggling with her identity for a while, but she really
• 7:41
  Speaker 2: did try to make it work with my dad and
• 7:43
  Speaker 2: was faithful to him even when he wasn't. Still, because
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: of her identity, she said she's bi but prefers women.
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: She felt my brother was right and that she was
• 7:51
  Speaker 2: responsible for the divorce, which she also initiated. Being far away,
• 7:55
  Speaker 2: I felt kind of useless, so I offered to come
• 7:58
  Speaker 2: home last night. I live four hours away by bus,
• 8:01
  Speaker 2: so it's really not that bad. Plus, this was kind
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: of a family emergency. When I was traveling, Mom called
• 8:06
  Speaker 2: Dad to tell him what my brother did. Turns out
• 8:09
  Speaker 2: he already knew. My brother told Dad soon after telling me,
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: despite his initial promise that he wouldn't. However, from my
• 8:16
  Speaker 2: dad's understanding, my bro just like happened to see mom
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: and her girlfriend on a date. He didn't tell dad
• 8:21
  Speaker 2: about the extent of his snooping. This morning, mom and
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: I went to dad's house where my brother was staying.
• 8:28
  Speaker 2: My mom, dad, and I basically sat down as a
• 8:32
  Speaker 2: family and talked to him. He was immediately apologetic and
• 8:35
  Speaker 2: admitted that what he did was wrong. However, it was
• 8:38
  Speaker 2: clear that he still thought mom was responsible for the divorce.
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: My parents told him that they were fighting a lot.
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: and they were better off apart. To my surprise, my
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: brother said, but it was mom who wanted the divorce. Aww,
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: he's just a little boy.
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: Sometimes you need to teach a little boy.
• 8:55
  Speaker 2: Knowing about my dad's extramarital affairs, and I was actually
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: the first to find out about one of them when
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: I was 15. And just knowing more about the state
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: of their marriage in general, I thought this was extremely
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: unfair towards our mom. I said dad made some mistakes too,
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: without specifying what they were. I thought he would maybe
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: open up to my brother, but he pretty much did
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: the opposite. His entire demeanor changed, and he basically switched
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: the topic back to my brother snooping, made him promise
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: not to do it again, that kind of stuff. But
• 9:24
  Speaker 2: it was clear dad didn't want to talk about the divorce.
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: Mom was upset too, but it was tough because from
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: our earlier conversation, it seemed like she did kind of
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: blame herself for it. At that point, dad walked away
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: from the conversation. Meanwhile, my brother apologized to my mom again.
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: And she said she would tell him more about her
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: dating life from now on if he respected her privacy.
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: I was still annoyed at my dad, so I confronted
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: him and said he should at least tell my brother
• 9:49
  Speaker 2: something instead of basically letting my mom take the blame
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: for everything. He refused, saying he and my mom had
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: made the decision together to not explicitly tell him why
• 9:59
  Speaker 2: they separated. I said that was when he was younger
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: and he wants to know now. He flipped out saying
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: I shouldn't meddle because he's trying to have a good
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: relationship with my brother and that it's not his fault
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: if mom is destroying her relationship with her son by
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: being a Oh, sapphic sloot.
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: By being a thespian hussy.
• 10:17
  Speaker 3: Then you go, didn't you cheat on her?
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you go, oh, oh, who is the sloot?
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: Huh, I don't remember mom getting down and dirty with
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: anyone during your relationship.
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: Only after, huh?
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: We didn't get into a full-on screaming match, but it
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: was pretty bad. I don't even really remember what else
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: was said. We left soon afterwards, including my brother, who
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: overheard our fight a little bit. It was technically dad's
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: weekend with him, but he didn't want to stay there
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: after that, and dad was pretty angry. It's been like
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: 10 hours since that happened, so I've gotten a chance
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: to clear my head a little. I told mom what
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: dad said, and I also brought up the idea of
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: family counseling. Mom said she'll look into it, but that
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: it probably, understandably, won't involve dad. Now she's more open
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: to telling my brother about dad's affair, but she's still
• 11:04
  Speaker 2: not sure how much to say exactly, and we'll think
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: about it. He probably heard some of it. already when
• 11:11
  Speaker 2: you were yelling.
• 11:11
  Speaker 4: And remember, this is the kid who is doing this.
• 11:15
  Speaker 4: Of course, this kid has ears.
• 11:17
  Speaker 3: In the wall.
• 11:17
  Speaker 2: Dad has tried to contact me several times since our fight,
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: but I sent him a text saying I'll talk to
• 11:22
  Speaker 2: him when I want to. I don't want to go
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: no contact permanently or anything. It's just been a crappy
• 11:27
  Speaker 2: day and we already have a strained relationship. My brother
• 11:30
  Speaker 2: has been feeling guilty all day. He's actually been extra
• 11:34
  Speaker 2: nice to mom. As I said in the previous post,
• 11:36
  Speaker 2: he's a good kid, really, and used to be so
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: affectionate towards me and my mom. Do you think this
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: was the right move, Dakota?
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: I don't know. I would have fought more my dad.
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: I would have been like, you're not my dad.
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it seems like the dad is still like, I
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: don't know, way too aggressive.
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: It's like besmirch her character. It's like, you.
• 11:59
  Speaker 3: Did we forget why you guys got divorced?
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: Well, it seems like there's a little bit of bigotry
• 12:03
  Speaker 2: going on there.
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: Sounds like y'all maybe had some fundamental differences.
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: I know he's been having such a tough time, but
• 12:10
  Speaker 2: I'm hopeful that it'll get better.
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: Aside, I didn't know where to put.
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: This, but I met my mom's girlfriend when they picked
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: me up late last night. She's lovely and very understanding
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: of my mom's situation. I hope things work out for them.
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: Edit.
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: I was talking to mom just now about family individual counseling.
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: And she said that because they have joint custody of
• 12:28
  Speaker 2: my brother, it's likely that dad will have to be
• 12:30
  Speaker 2: involved if they go down this route. Some therapists may
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: actually refuse to treat kids without the consent of both parents.
• 12:38
  Speaker 2: She hasn't looked into it extensively, but with the way
• 12:40
  Speaker 2: dad's been behaving, she and I don't think he'd be
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: open to this. And that's the end of that story, folks.
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I gotta agree with that final assessment there. Don't
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: know if dad's gonna be into that, you know?
• 12:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think he sounds like he sucks, if I'm
• 12:57
  Speaker 2: being for real with it.
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: That dude sucks. He's a sucky little guy. Yeah. And
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: that's the end of this story. Let's head to the
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: next one. I got engaged at my sister's wedding, and
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: she accused me of stealing her spotlight. Hey, it's my wedding.
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: I know that I already sound like the a-hole from
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: the title, but please hear me out.
• 13:19
  Speaker 3: All right, that's the end of the story. Great. Very easy.
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: About a month ago, my sister had an outdoor wedding
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: at a gorgeous hotel overlooking the coast. The ceremony and
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: reception themselves were in the lawn and garden that the
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: hotel rented out specifically for such events. But my fiancé
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: and I also had booked a room in the hotel
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: for the night, which itself was set a short distance
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: apart from there. My now fiancé, 25, said, female, and I, 25, male,
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: are both very uncomfortable with large crowds. So sometime into
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: the wedding, I let my sister know that we were
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: retreating to the hotel for a short break. We had
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: discovered a small terrace in the hotel the previous day
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: that had an amazing view of the sunset, and we
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: wanted to go there to have 10 minutes to ourselves.
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: We're both huge romantics. Seriously, we will make you wretch.
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: And we love the ocean and the sunset. For our
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: first date, I borrowed the keys of my friend's apartment
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: building's rooftop and set up a picnic and a playlist
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: with a sunset view. Nice.
• 14:27
  Speaker 2: That sounds lovely.
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: Literally every anniversary of ours has involved a private place
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: to watch the sunset over the ocean. The view from
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: the terrace was absolutely spectacular, and the moment was so
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: perfect that I couldn't help myself. It was completely spontaneous.
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: I didn't even have a ring. I just got on
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: one knee and asked her then and there to marry me,
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: and she said yes.
• 14:50
  Speaker 2: Wow, and then you saved that information for later, right?
• 14:54
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 14:54
  Speaker 2: You saved that information for a day later after the wedding, right?
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from We Solemnly Swear. And
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: if you want to submit your own stories, go to
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: the r slash OK Storytime subreddit. I'm Dakota.
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: I'm Sophia.
• 15:08
  Speaker 3: I'm Keon.
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: I am going to read this story with my friends
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: here and have the best ideas of all time that
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: are not wrong. And if you think you disagree with me,
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: you just didn't listen good enough. And if you disagree
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: with that, let us know in the comments. Now, OP says.
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: No one saw us. The terrace was empty and the
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: garden in which the reception was held was not in
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: our field of view. We were both buzzing with excitement,
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: but we both agreed to hold off telling anyone else
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: because this was my sister's special day. Last night we
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: had dinner with my family and my fiance and I
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: broke the news to my family that we were engaged.
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: Everyone was obviously delighted and asked us to narrate the
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: story of how I or she proposed. My sister was
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: furious to find out I had proposed during her wedding. Okay,
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: so your sister's out of pocket now.
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because they didn't know. You didn't tell anyone. You
• 16:03
  Speaker 2: didn't tell anyone. I think if you don't tell anyone
• 16:07
  Speaker 2: and no one knows that you proposed at the wedding,
• 16:10
  Speaker 2: then it's fine. I do think it's fine.
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: She pulled me aside after dinner and completely blew up
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: at me. She accused me of trying to steal the
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: attention from her wedding. And I told her that we
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: had intentionally kept the news to ourselves until now to
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: avoid doing exactly that. She said it didn't matter because
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: now everyone will remember her wedding is the day I
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: proposed anyway.
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: I don't think anyone will remember either of those things
• 16:38
  Speaker 2: because people don't remember other people's anniversaries.
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: I honestly disagree because no one really witnessed my proposal
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: so it wouldn't really be a part of their wedding memories.
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: We didn't tell anyone we got engaged until now and
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: I don't really feel that anyone will associate her wedding
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: with our engagement at this point because by now it's
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: been long enough that they should feel like two separate events.
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: My sister doesn't see it, my way, and has refused
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: to speak to me since last night. Am I the a-hole?
• 17:07
  Speaker 2: This is what you do, Opie. You turn to her,
• 17:09
  Speaker 2: you go, oh, sweet. Wait, was that Monday? Oh my God,
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: your wedding was Monday? Oh, that's so funny. Sorry, I
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: just totally messed up the days. I proposed to her
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: on Tuesday. Don't even worry.
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: Different day. Yeah, you can just be like, we loved
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: that place so much, we went back. But, like, also,
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: I don't want to lie about how I proposed to
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: my family. Like, it just happened. We knew that it
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: was a social faux pas, which is why we didn't
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: let anyone find out.
• 17:38
  Speaker 2: And also, no one would have unless they said something because.
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: He didn't have a ring. How would anyone else find out?
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: They'd be like, oh, they're so happy. They must have
• 17:46
  Speaker 2: done something up there. That's all they would have thought.
• 17:49
  Speaker 4: Edit.
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: Because most people seem to be misunderstanding, I am repeating
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: this here. I did not reveal our engagement to anyone
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: until last night, a month after the wedding. At a
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: private dinner with my parents, sister, brother-in-law, and fiancée.
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: If anyone is on your sister's side, that's absolutely wild.
• 18:13
  Speaker 2: It's been a month. It's been a month. Oh, I'm so...
• 18:18
  Speaker 2: You're not the angel. This is crazy. Enjoy your wedding
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: and they won't even have to be at it. Sister
• 18:24
  Speaker 2: doesn't even have to worry because she won't be at
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: the wedding. She'll be at that terrace again.
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: Update. I did not realize that my sister might be
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: upset because she lost my attention on her wedding day.
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: Even if she didn't lose anyone else's. That day was
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: supposed to be about her, and I understand how she
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: might feel abandoned in a way. First thing tomorrow, I'll
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: be calling her to apologize. My fiance and I also
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: discussed it, and we agreed that we don't really want
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: to share our proposal story with anyone else anyway. We
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: are both very private people, and it feels like a
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: very private moment for both of us. The only other
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: people we will be telling will be her parents and sisters.
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: We are happy keeping the knowledge of what happened between
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: our families. And hopefully this makes my sister feel happier
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: about this too.
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: That sucks though. I hate that you have to like, again,
• 19:11
  Speaker 2: keep that hidden forever to make her happy.
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: Hate that. Hate, hate that entirely. And I hate that
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: somehow the internet has tricked you into thinking that like
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: your sister is actually like a victim in this somehow
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: and needs to be like, you need to apologize to her. Okay.
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: So as for Those people judging me for not having
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: a ring or a plan. Well, the only person's approval
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: I really care about is my fiance's. And she told
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: me she was delighted that I finally did something spontaneous
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: because I'm usually too meticulous and cautious. So I guess
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: mind your own business. And there's an update to kind
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: of hypocritical to say that as you post on Reddit.
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: um but I digress update number two oh my god
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: things are happening fast I was talking to my fiance
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: about how neither of us realized that this was such
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: a big deal to so many people no matter how
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: private we kept it it's completely crazy to us I
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: guess mostly because neither of us has really cared for
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: any sort of attention from other people whatsoever The conversation turned,
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: and the more we talked, the more we realized that
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: neither of us want a big wedding with all the
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: planning and the headache and the guests. Like, dude, we'd
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: be running away from our own wedding. So we decided
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: to save all the money we would have spent on
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: our wedding for our honeymoon and just go to the
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: courthouse and get married next month. I'm so exhilarated right now,
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: I can't even be sure this is real. The only
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: reason we decided to wait until next month is because
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: we want to wait until we can take time off
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: work and have our honeymoon right after we get married.
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: We can have a small dinner right before we leave
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: with both our immediate families. But holy guacamole macaroni, I'm
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: getting married next month. Howdy doody.
• 20:55
  Speaker 3: Doody howdy.
• 20:56
  Speaker 2: Doody howdy. Married next month in the courthouse.
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: In the corner of the courthouse. Update three. Since it's
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: apparently unclear to most people, though mind your own business,
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: is for those telling me I suck for not getting
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: a ring. It's not what I asked, and it's so
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: subjective that pretty much the only person whose opinion matters
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: is hers. I would have thought that was obvious. On
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: a brighter note, thank you for all the congratulations. I
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: don't think I've ever been this exhilarated in my life.
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: We're both going to try to go to sleep now
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: since we both have work tomorrow. And once we've spoken
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: to my sister, we're going to plan a honeymoon. OMGG.
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: Update four.
• 21:39
  Speaker 3: Oh my goodness gracious.
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: Update four. This is the last one. I promise.
• 21:43
  Speaker 2: It better be.
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: We just finished speaking to my sister and brother-in-law. My
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: sister dodged the first two calls, but persistence paid off.
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: I apologized to her and told her I understood why
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: she felt like she hadn't been a priority on her
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: wedding day. And it was never my intention to make
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: her feel that way. She apologized immediately after for blowing
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: up and said that I did nothing wrong and she
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: shouldn't have taken out her hurt feelings on me. I
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: think she's feeling a bit guilty now, and I felt
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: a fair bit guilty myself. But overall, we've patched up
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: pretty well, and both my sister and brother-in-law are very
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: supportive of us getting married in a courthouse next month.
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: We're gonna need their help, and when we pitch this
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: to my mom, we both got to scram to work now.
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: And this day is gonna effin' crawl until we are
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: back getting started on our honeymoon plans. We both just
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: want to say thanks so much to every congratulatory and
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: well-wishing comment. I wish we could respond to each and
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: every one of them, but we'll settle for leaving it
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: up here. Thanks for the well wishes. We think you're
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: all amazing. And we're really, really touched. We solemnly swear
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: we shall always be up to no good in the future. Yeah,
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: sweet both love Harry Potter.
• 23:03
  Speaker 3: Oh.
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: I was so intrigued when you said that of where
• 23:06
  Speaker 2: Honeymoon came from and it comes from. From honey refers
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: to the sweet and tender feelings shared by a new couple.
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: And then moon originally referred to a single month, which
• 23:15
  Speaker 2: is just pretty, this seems pretty straightforward. Or also popular
• 23:19
  Speaker 2: folk etymology claims it comes from an ancient northern European
• 23:21
  Speaker 2: custom where newlyweds drank mead fermented honey wine for a
• 23:24
  Speaker 2: full lunar month after the wedding to ensure fertility.
• 23:27
  Speaker 3: We should do that.
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: I like that.
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: That's a little too much honey mead, man.
• 23:31
  Speaker 3: That sounds fire.
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: And that's the end of this story. Let's head to
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: the next one.
• 23:36
  Speaker 2: My sister was stranded with nowhere to go, so I
• 23:39
  Speaker 2: broke my own rules to help her.
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: Who are you, Batman? You gonna break your one rule?
• 23:44
  Speaker 2: I'm a 22-year-old guy. I live in an apartment which
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: I pay for and maintain all on my own through
• 23:49
  Speaker 2: my full-time job. Look at you, mister.
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: Mr. Adult? Yeah, look at you, Mr. Billionaire Parents. You're Batman.
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: You think I don't see that?
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: A while ago, my sister, 23, moved to the city
• 23:59
  Speaker 2: I live in. She didn't have a job or much
• 24:01
  Speaker 2: money at the time, so she didn't have anywhere to stay.
• 24:04
  Speaker 2: Our parents didn't want to rent her an all-new place,
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: so they convinced me to take her in. Admittedly, I
• 24:09
  Speaker 2: really didn't want to, but after much pressure and convincing,
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: I relented. To be honest, I don't really like my sister.
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: We never got along well, and we were never really friends.
• 24:20
  Speaker 2: During childhood, our relationship was distant at the best of
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: times and outright hostile at the worst times.
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: I was going to say that was your fault.
• 24:27
  Speaker 2: So I was gracious enough to let her stay. I
• 24:30
  Speaker 2: didn't make her pay anything or contribute to the apartment.
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: The place is only one bedroom with a queen size
• 24:35
  Speaker 2: bed where I normally sleep. And of course she slept
• 24:37
  Speaker 2: on the floor.
• 24:38
  Speaker 3: She slept outside.
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: And I was enough of a gentleman to let her
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: move in there while I took to sleeping on the
• 24:44
  Speaker 2: couch every night. At first it was going easy enough,
• 24:46
  Speaker 2: but then things got worse. I mean, like, what was
• 24:49
  Speaker 2: your plan?
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: I don't think there really was one. There was no plan.
• 24:52
  Speaker 2: She just moved in and took your house. I insisted
• 24:56
  Speaker 2: on her not being allowed to bring her boyfriend over.
• 24:59
  Speaker 2: I felt I really shouldn't have to explain myself on this,
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: since I was paying for the place, and it was mine,
• 25:04
  Speaker 2: so I should get to make the rules. By the way,
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: this comes from Dark Cloud Horizon, and if you want
• 25:09
  Speaker 2: to submit your own stories, go to the r slash
• 25:10
  Speaker 2: showcase story time subreddit. I'm Sophia.
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: I'm Dakota.
• 25:13
  Speaker 3: I'm Keon.
• 25:14
  Speaker 2: And we're here to give good advice goofily, but we
• 25:16
  Speaker 2: don't have all the answers. We only know what we'd do.
• 25:18
  Speaker 2: So if you've got answers, why are you hiding them?
• 25:22
  Speaker 2: OP says... Of course, this pissed her off so much
• 25:26
  Speaker 2: and it made her hate me.
• 25:28
  Speaker 4: Big question here. Big, big, big question here, guys. And
• 25:31
  Speaker 4: you probably are asking it. Why isn't she staying with
• 25:34
  Speaker 4: her boyfriend?
• 25:35
  Speaker 2: Because her boyfriend hates her too.
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: Why would you stay with someone you hate so much?
• 25:39
  Speaker 2: She started saying that since she couldn't bring her boyfriend
• 25:41
  Speaker 2: over because I didn't want any disturbance, then I shouldn't
• 25:44
  Speaker 2: do things that disturbed her. That's so funny because I
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: actually own this place.
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it'd be different if it was your place I
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: was staying at.
• 25:52
  Speaker 2: Genuinely, if you hate her this much and she also
• 25:54
  Speaker 2: hates you, I would not let her stay in my bed.
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: Out of my bed. Get out of my bed.
• 25:58
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's the couch. You get the couch.
• 26:00
  Speaker 2: The couch is where people I hate sleep. Get out
• 26:02
  Speaker 2: of my bed. For example, I spend most of my
• 26:05
  Speaker 2: time at home when I'm not working playing on my PlayStation.
• 26:08
  Speaker 2: She said it was loud and annoying, but I didn't
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: want to budge. She started getting meaner and pestering me constantly,
• 26:14
  Speaker 2: telling me my gaming was why I'm a loser and
• 26:17
  Speaker 2: why I'll never get a girlfriend. I've never had a
• 26:20
  Speaker 2: girlfriend at 22, and although I don't really mind, it's
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: a point she always holds against me and uses to
• 26:25
  Speaker 2: mock me. She's always like, oh, you're just upset because
• 26:27
  Speaker 2: you can't get a girlfriend, so you don't want me
• 26:29
  Speaker 2: to bring my boyfriend over. I don't want you to
• 26:31
  Speaker 2: bring your boyfriend over because I hate you, and I
• 26:33
  Speaker 2: want you to be unhappy.
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't want you guys banging around, Opie.
• 26:38
  Speaker 2: On Opie's bed, too.
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: You just don't want me to bring my boyfriend over
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: because you're jealous of my boyfriend.
• 26:43
  Speaker 2: Personally, I think it also made her angry that she
• 26:45
  Speaker 2: was living in her little brother's place and that he
• 26:48
  Speaker 2: was dictating the rules to her. I always made it
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: clear to her that she was welcome to move out
• 26:52
  Speaker 2: any time she wanted to. Eventually, things got heated to
• 26:56
  Speaker 2: the point that she did move out.
• 26:58
  Speaker 5: Yay!
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: You did it. Okay, well.
• 27:01
  Speaker 2: It's over then, right?
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: We got there.
• 27:03
  Speaker 2: And moved in with her boyfriend.
• 27:05
  Speaker 4: Oh.
• 27:05
  Speaker 6: Oh.
• 27:05
  Speaker 2: That lasted about a month and then they broke up.
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: Oh.
• 27:08
  Speaker 2: Oh, and then you go, oh, things like even if
• 27:11
  Speaker 2: I can't get a girlfriend, you can't keep one.
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: Oh, she might set you on fire for that.
• 27:16
  Speaker 2: Now she wants to move back into my place. I
• 27:19
  Speaker 2: told her she can move back in and that the
• 27:20
  Speaker 2: same rules will apply as last time, except now she
• 27:23
  Speaker 2: has to help with all the cleaning and washing, as
• 27:25
  Speaker 2: well as finding a job and paying for 10% of
• 27:27
  Speaker 2: the rent, which would amount to $.
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: 40 a week. Hey, let's pump those numbers up, buddy.
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: Those are, um... 4-0-0. Those are nobody numbers. Those are.
• 27:38
  Speaker 2: I don't understand why we're letting her back in. We
• 27:40
  Speaker 2: had such a terrible time the first time around.
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: Well, I was kind of waiting for that second shoe
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: where Opie was going to be like, but now she's
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: got to pay $ 160 in rent per month.
• 27:53
  Speaker 2: Ooh, really owning her. Now she has to clean.
• 27:56
  Speaker 3: Did he just say you're paying 10% of the rent
• 27:58
  Speaker 3: and 10% of the rent is $ 40?
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: 10% of the rent is $ 160.
• 28:02
  Speaker 2: She said that since she's got to be contributing and
• 28:04
  Speaker 2: helping out, then she's allowed to bring guys over. I
• 28:07
  Speaker 2: told her still absolutely not. She says she feels she's
• 28:12
  Speaker 2: under too much pressure to just accept it because her
• 28:14
  Speaker 2: parents still don't want to pay for her accommodation somewhere.
• 28:17
  Speaker 2: They said they've paid for her far too long and
• 28:20
  Speaker 2: she's never learned to become self-reliant. She's worried she might
• 28:24
  Speaker 2: end up with no place at all to live since
• 28:26
  Speaker 2: her parents live very far away.
• 28:28
  Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, that sounds like a real life problem.
• 28:31
  Speaker 2: What if I have to pay my own way? What
• 28:33
  Speaker 2: if I have to go my own way?
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: What if I have to pay more than $ 40 a week?
• 28:38
  Speaker 2: At this point, I'm wondering if I'm being too harsh
• 28:40
  Speaker 2: on her advice. We've got an update.
• 28:43
  Speaker 3: You are being too nice.
• 28:45
  Speaker 2: Okay, so if I were to kind of put you
• 28:47
  Speaker 2: on a scale of like, I don't know, a Care
• 28:50
  Speaker 2: Bear and what's like Gordon Ramsay on levels of harshness,
• 28:56
  Speaker 2: you are probably the level of harshness that like a
• 28:59
  Speaker 2: butterfly is.
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: I don't know. Have you ever seen those up close?
• 29:02
  Speaker 2: Well, butterfly effect. It can get a little harsh up there.
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: Ashton Kutcher.
• 29:06
  Speaker 2: OP, you're not being harsh at all, and you should
• 29:08
  Speaker 2: figure that out. You should figure out how to be
• 29:10
  Speaker 2: more harsh.
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I was waiting for you to be like, except
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: this time. she's gotta scrub the floors old-fashioned style with
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: her fingernails.
• 29:21
  Speaker 2: She's gotta use her toothbrush to get in between the crevices.
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: She's gotta use her teeth to gnaw all the dirt
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: off the floor. And you were just like, yeah, she
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: has to do her dishes and pay 10% of the rent.
• 29:34
  Speaker 2: Was she not doing that before? The cleaning bit, I mean.
• 29:39
  Speaker 2: So I posted here a few days ago about how
• 29:40
  Speaker 2: I had conflicts with my sister moving in. She moved
• 29:43
  Speaker 2: out and now needs to move back in. I originally
• 29:46
  Speaker 2: had given her an offer, but then I decided, screw it.
• 29:49
  Speaker 2: I told her she was not welcome back in my home,
• 29:52
  Speaker 2: that I'm a little brother and it's not my duty
• 29:54
  Speaker 2: to babysit her. She did not take it well. She
• 29:57
  Speaker 2: swore and cried at me. I was almost convinced at
• 30:00
  Speaker 2: the point that our relations as family were coming to
• 30:02
  Speaker 2: an end. She kept telling me her boyfriend had hurt
• 30:05
  Speaker 2: her and that she had nowhere else to go. The
• 30:07
  Speaker 2: problem is, well, I gave in under pressure. She was
• 30:11
  Speaker 2: staying in a motel for a few days and apparently
• 30:14
  Speaker 2: she collected a small amount of money from some part-time
• 30:17
  Speaker 2: paid work. It wasn't enough to pay for her motel fees, however,
• 30:20
  Speaker 2: so she called me again and told me she was
• 30:23
  Speaker 2: getting punted out of the motel and she was crying severely.
• 30:27
  Speaker 2: And sorry, guys, against all your advice, I gave in.
• 30:31
  Speaker 3: You're a weakling.
• 30:33
  Speaker 2: I couldn't stand to hear my sister crying like that.
• 30:35
  Speaker 2: She really sounded like she was suffering. It was in
• 30:37
  Speaker 2: the middle of the night, too, when she called. I
• 30:39
  Speaker 2: had been woken up from bed by her phone call.
• 30:42
  Speaker 2: I got changed, drove to her motel, and pictured a
• 30:46
  Speaker 2: rookie number two move.
• 30:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 30:50
  Speaker 2: Dang it. How do you fall for it every time?
• 30:52
  Speaker 1: I've been looking for a pristine rookie number two my
• 30:55
  Speaker 1: whole life.
• 30:56
  Speaker 2: I even helped her pack all her things. She told
• 30:58
  Speaker 2: me she had some money to pay for the motel,
• 31:00
  Speaker 2: but that it wouldn't cover it. I told her to
• 31:02
  Speaker 2: keep her money for herself and that she might need it,
• 31:05
  Speaker 2: and I paid for all her motel fees. I drove
• 31:08
  Speaker 2: her back to my place, took my sheets and pillows
• 31:10
  Speaker 2: over to my couch, and reestablished my sleeping area. I
• 31:13
  Speaker 2: talked it out with her the next day, and she
• 31:15
  Speaker 2: said she was extremely grateful. She promised it would be
• 31:18
  Speaker 2: as short as possible, and that she would continue working
• 31:20
  Speaker 2: at her part-time job while trying to find more work,
• 31:22
  Speaker 2: until she was at a stage where she could financially
• 31:24
  Speaker 2: manage her own affairs. I told her I'll be monitoring
• 31:27
  Speaker 2: her to make sure she's actively job hunting and securing work.
• 31:31
  Speaker 2: And that if need be, I'll be happy to assist
• 31:33
  Speaker 2: her in organizing her stuff together. Same rules apply as
• 31:36
  Speaker 2: last time. She's absolutely not allowed to bring any boys
• 31:40
  Speaker 2: over under any conditions. She must be polite to me
• 31:43
  Speaker 2: at all times and has to stop trash talking, which
• 31:47
  Speaker 2: she apologized heavily for. And she'll be assisting in tasks
• 31:50
  Speaker 2: like washing, cleaning, and cooking. And I'll be giving her
• 31:53
  Speaker 2: money to go do grocery shopping for us. She was
• 31:55
  Speaker 2: more than happy to agree to all this.
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah, dude, of course she was because she has nowhere
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: else to go, which is the only reason she's saying
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: any of this to you. Uh, yes. Yeah. And that's,
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: that's it.
• 32:08
  Speaker 4: At this point, she's not even manipulating you. She's, you're
• 32:11
  Speaker 4: manipulating yourself.
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 32:13
  Speaker 2: You've dogged yourself into this corner, friend.
• 32:15
  Speaker 1: You said earlier that like you gave into the pressure,
• 32:18
  Speaker 1: but it's like you put all the, she didn't even
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: really put the pressure on you.
• 32:22
  Speaker 2: There was really no pressure. She was just like, Hey,
• 32:24
  Speaker 2: like I need help. And you're like, all right, take
• 32:27
  Speaker 2: my bed again. Take my bed, but don't be mean now.
• 32:30
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: And you setting up your sleeping area out there. It's like,
• 32:33
  Speaker 1: that's her.
• 32:35
  Speaker 2: Um, however, saying all that, I do think it's actually
• 32:38
  Speaker 2: really sweet that you came, you know, came as her brother.
• 32:41
  Speaker 1: Look, look, two sweets make me sick.
• 32:43
  Speaker 2: I know I'm going to get a lot of flack
• 32:45
  Speaker 2: because I didn't stick to my resolve. I caved in
• 32:47
  Speaker 2: and let her move back in at my expense. I
• 32:50
  Speaker 2: even relocated to the couch and she's taking the bed again.
• 32:53
  Speaker 2: This time I'll be making sure she ends up on
• 32:55
  Speaker 2: the right track. I'm taking over responsibility.
• 32:58
  Speaker 3: I don't want to hear you complain about your sister.
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: I just hope she actually changes.
• 33:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I hope that she comes, you know, she realizes
• 33:06
  Speaker 2: that OP has done her the solid of a lifetime
• 33:09
  Speaker 2: and actually goes and gets a job and then pays
• 33:11
  Speaker 2: him back in kind. But we'll see. I talked to
• 33:14
  Speaker 2: my parents and they told me I'm making a mistake.
• 33:17
  Speaker 2: Didn't they tell you to take.
• 33:18
  Speaker 1: Her in the first time? Not even your parents are like...
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: What do you mean? Should have left her destitute at
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: the hotel.
• 33:24
  Speaker 2: They refused to let her move back into their home,
• 33:26
  Speaker 2: and my dad has essentially cut all financial support for her.
• 33:29
  Speaker 2: He says he supported her for too long, and she
• 33:32
  Speaker 2: has nothing to show for it. They told me I
• 33:34
  Speaker 2: was making a mistake at my expense by enabling her.
• 33:37
  Speaker 2: Maybe they're right. I don't know. I think hearing her
• 33:40
  Speaker 2: crying and suffering on the phone really got to me.
• 33:42
  Speaker 2: I always thought I hated her, or at least disliked
• 33:44
  Speaker 2: her to a strong extent. but I just couldn't ignore
• 33:48
  Speaker 2: her anymore. And that's the end of that story. I,
• 33:51
  Speaker 2: you know what? I really hope she changes. I think
• 33:53
  Speaker 2: Opie is a really good brother. That's all I'll say.
• 33:56
  Speaker 1: We can always hope for the best, can't we?
• 33:58
  Speaker 2: We can, we can. We do and we can.
• 34:01
  Speaker 1: And that's the end of this story. Let's head to
• 34:03
  Speaker 1: the next one. Hey, it's Dakota, your favorite goofball host here.
• 34:08
  Speaker 1: And we're going to get back to the stories, but
• 34:10
  Speaker 1: here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors.
• 34:12
  Speaker 5: His ex-wife crashed every event, so I left him. Left
• 34:17
  Speaker 5: him to be with his ex-wife. I, female 32, have
• 34:21
  Speaker 5: been with Kyle, male.
• 34:23
  Speaker 6: 37, for two and a half years. We got engaged
• 34:25
  Speaker 6: six months ago. Kyle has been divorced for over five years.
• 34:29
  Speaker 6: He was married to Elena, female 37. They have a son, Grayson,
• 34:33
  Speaker 6: male 8. Elena has a toddler from a kid she
• 34:36
  Speaker 6: met after her divorce and dated briefly, Ella, two and
• 34:39
  Speaker 6: a half female. Grayson is a wonderful little kid. He
• 34:42
  Speaker 6: has his room in our house, and he is so
• 34:45
  Speaker 6: loved by all of us. Kyle and Elena are good
• 34:48
  Speaker 6: friends and co-parenting great. The problem I have is she
• 34:51
  Speaker 6: is everywhere. Besides the holidays and birthdays, which I understand, Christmas,
• 34:56
  Speaker 6: Grayson's birthday, Thanksgiving, Elena and her baby are pretty much
• 34:59
  Speaker 6: invited to any family functions, such as Kyle's birthday, Kyle's parents' anniversary,
• 35:04
  Speaker 6: my birthday. Yes, Kyle invited her to my birthday. Our
• 35:08
  Speaker 6: camping trips... I have talked to Kyle many times, but
• 35:10
  Speaker 6: he thinks I'm being insecure for no reason and making
• 35:13
  Speaker 6: a big deal about nothing. By the way, this comes
• 35:16
  Speaker 6: from goldprogrammer2895, and if you want to submit your own stories,
• 35:20
  Speaker 6: go to the r slash ok story time subreddit.
• 35:22
  Speaker 2: I'm Savannah.
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: I'm Dakota.
• 35:24
  Speaker 3: I'm Keon.
• 35:25
  Speaker 1: And we're here to give some good advice goofily, but
• 35:27
  Speaker 1: guess what?
• 35:29
  Speaker 4: What?
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: We don't have all the answers. We only tell you
• 35:32
  Speaker 1: what we would do, but let us know what you
• 35:33
  Speaker 1: would do down in the comments. As OP says.
• 35:37
  Speaker 6: I booked a trip to Mexico for January for me, Kyle,
• 35:40
  Speaker 6: and Grayson. Kyle told Elena that on the last week
• 35:43
  Speaker 6: of January, we will have Grayson for an extra week
• 35:45
  Speaker 6: since he is coming with us to Mexico. Apparently, Elena
• 35:49
  Speaker 6: managed to ask him about our trip dates details. I
• 35:52
  Speaker 6: saw on Facebook she was posting about swimsuit shopping for
• 35:55
  Speaker 6: her upcoming trip. Kyle texted her and asked her if
• 35:58
  Speaker 6: she was going somewhere that week too.
• 36:01
  Speaker 1: She said she researched our.
• 36:02
  Speaker 6: Hotel and I took advantage of the same deal as
• 36:04
  Speaker 6: you guys, so I guess we will see you there.
• 36:07
  Speaker 6: Ha ha. I told Kyle, then we are canceling the trip.
• 36:11
  Speaker 6: He said he can't because tickets are non-refundable. I told him,
• 36:15
  Speaker 6: then I'm not going. I want for once to have
• 36:18
  Speaker 6: a family vacation without his ex-wife. But Kyle thinks there's
• 36:22
  Speaker 6: nothing we can do now. We need to address this
• 36:24
  Speaker 6: for future plans and be more clear about boundaries.
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: Any advice? There's an update. Bro, just go and ignore
• 36:30
  Speaker 1: his ex-wife.
• 36:31
  Speaker 3: I don't know.
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: What is the point? I would get in contact.
• 36:33
  Speaker 6: If you really have an issue with it and he's
• 36:36
  Speaker 6: not dealing with it, I would step in and be like, hey, actually,
• 36:39
  Speaker 6: we're just trying to have a family vacation just like
• 36:42
  Speaker 6: us three.
• 36:43
  Speaker 1: That's all right. Yeah, but you can't restrict. If she
• 36:48
  Speaker 1: wants to buy a thing at the place that you
• 36:51
  Speaker 1: guys are at, you cannot stop her. You're dating somebody
• 36:54
  Speaker 1: who has an eight-year-old child with an ex-wife. And you
• 36:57
  Speaker 1: can't be surprised that they're going to be around. You're
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: going to have to figure out how to deal with this.
• 37:02
  Speaker 3: Truly.
• 37:02
  Speaker 4: If it's there for Grayson, again, the kid, I think
• 37:06
  Speaker 4: that's one thing. Like, he's eight years old. You're going
• 37:08
  Speaker 4: to see him at baseball games or whatever. Any of
• 37:10
  Speaker 4: the events for him. If it's like you, OP, and
• 37:13
  Speaker 4: your partner, and then she's like, oh, we're going out
• 37:17
  Speaker 4: for tacos?
• 37:18
  Speaker 3: Let's go, all three of us, out for tacos. That's
• 37:20
  Speaker 3: a little too much.
• 37:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Update.
• 37:22
  Speaker 6: Kyle came home late last night since he was working
• 37:25
  Speaker 6: on a project with his coworker. He saw me awake
• 37:27
  Speaker 6: and got surprised and asked, is everything okay?
• 37:29
  Speaker 2: I said, we need to talk.
• 37:31
  Speaker 6: I basically told him that either he tells Elena to
• 37:34
  Speaker 6: cancel her trip and establishes boundaries or we are done. Oh,
• 37:38
  Speaker 6: he said, oh my God, are you still on this?
• 37:41
  Speaker 6: I said, I'll talk to her for future events. Let
• 37:44
  Speaker 6: it go for F sakes. I said, no, this has
• 37:48
  Speaker 6: been my life since we met. She and her baby
• 37:50
  Speaker 6: are always in my hair. I get upset easily. You
• 37:52
  Speaker 6: convinced me to let it go this time, then it
• 37:54
  Speaker 6: happens again. I reminded him that last June we hosted
• 37:57
  Speaker 6: Elena's baby's birthday at her backyard and paid for and
• 38:00
  Speaker 6: did everything and you told me to let it go.
• 38:03
  Speaker 6: Where is the limit? Will she be invited to our
• 38:05
  Speaker 6: wedding and be in the bridal party? Will she be
• 38:08
  Speaker 6: at our honeymoon? Will she be at the delivery room
• 38:10
  Speaker 6: when I give birth? He said we are both tired.
• 38:13
  Speaker 6: Why don't we talk tomorrow?
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: I think you both suck in this situation.
• 38:18
  Speaker 3: Really?
• 38:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I mean, yeah, you shouldn't have hosted her daughter
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: that she had with a different person. You should not
• 38:23
  Speaker 1: have hosted her daughter's birthday at your house. That's ridiculous.
• 38:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: Her being like, well, is she going to be in
• 38:28
  Speaker 1: the bridal party? Of course not. Is she going to
• 38:30
  Speaker 1: be on our honeymoon? Of course not. I just feel
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: like no one has talked to her about it. You know,
• 38:35
  Speaker 1: even Kyle.
• 38:36
  Speaker 6: Should man up and say something and be like, hey,
• 38:38
  Speaker 6: this is actually like we have a separate life outside
• 38:41
  Speaker 6: of you. I told him I can't wait until then.
• 38:43
  Speaker 6: Will you ask Elena to cancel her trip and tell
• 38:46
  Speaker 6: her about my boundaries? He said, I can't make her
• 38:49
  Speaker 6: do anything as she is no longer my wife. I
• 38:51
  Speaker 6: can tell her you don't like her and you can't
• 38:53
  Speaker 6: stand her.
• 38:54
  Speaker 1: Happy?
• 38:55
  Speaker 3: That's not it.
• 38:56
  Speaker 6: He's not. He this guy's pissed me off. I said,
• 39:00
  Speaker 6: I don't feel like I'm ever going to be your wife.
• 39:02
  Speaker 6: She is more your wife than I'll ever be. She
• 39:04
  Speaker 6: just doesn't like to put out. So you got me
• 39:06
  Speaker 6: for that. That's how I feel. I feel so unloved.
• 39:09
  Speaker 6: If we break up and Elena takes you back, would
• 39:11
  Speaker 6: you get back together with her?
• 39:12
  Speaker 1: He said, stop.
• 39:14
  Speaker 6: You know how much I love you. Why are you
• 39:15
  Speaker 6: saying this nonsense? I asked again and again. He said,
• 39:19
  Speaker 6: what do you want me to say? That if I'm single,
• 39:22
  Speaker 6: will I work things out with Elena? I guess I
• 39:24
  Speaker 6: got my answer. okay well that wasn't a good conversation she's.
• 39:28
  Speaker 1: Like she just sabotaged her own relationship right there I
• 39:31
  Speaker 1: gave him the ring and said, I'll leave tomorrow morning.
• 39:34
  Speaker 1: He said, what? Are you serious? What is going on tonight?
• 39:37
  Speaker 1: He started saying how we were going to get married
• 39:39
  Speaker 1: and have babies.
• 39:40
  Speaker 6: He knows I left my previous boyfriend because he didn't
• 39:42
  Speaker 6: want to get married. And he begged me to not
• 39:45
  Speaker 6: leave before holidays. He suggested staying and starting counseling in January.
• 39:50
  Speaker 6: I told him I really don't have energy or time
• 39:52
  Speaker 6: for this. He started crying. I was awake all night
• 39:55
  Speaker 6: crying on and off. In the morning, he made me
• 39:57
  Speaker 6: breakfast and hugged me so uncomfortable. And said, please don't
• 40:01
  Speaker 6: end it permanently. Let's be in touch and work on
• 40:04
  Speaker 6: our relationship. I told him, no, I just can't.
• 40:06
  Speaker 1: Sorry. So, yeah, you just threw it away, dog. Yeah.
• 40:09
  Speaker 1: You actually just allowed the ex-wife's existence to ruin your relationship.
• 40:15
  Speaker 1: And I don't care if anyone disagrees with me because
• 40:17
  Speaker 1: that's what I think.
• 40:18
  Speaker 6: I think that I don't like the way that she
• 40:20
  Speaker 6: went about this because she really did kind of like
• 40:22
  Speaker 6: back him into a corner and like. It's like someone
• 40:25
  Speaker 6: asked the same question and you just keep giving the
• 40:27
  Speaker 6: same answer and they don't like it. It's like, oh, OK, yeah,
• 40:29
  Speaker 6: you know, I would get back with my ex. Is
• 40:30
  Speaker 6: that is that what you want me to say?
• 40:32
  Speaker 1: And she's like, you know what?
• 40:33
  Speaker 2: I'm done.
• 40:33
  Speaker 6: And it's like, oh, like, I feel like this wasn't
• 40:36
  Speaker 6: a compromising conversation. It was you're going to tell me
• 40:41
  Speaker 6: what I want to hear. And if you don't, then
• 40:42
  Speaker 6: I'm out. And it's like, well, wait, wait, wait, wait.
• 40:45
  Speaker 6: But I could also see that she's been fed up
• 40:47
  Speaker 6: for a while because he hasn't like this woman just
• 40:50
  Speaker 6: keeps crossing their boundaries. Well, not his, but hers. And
• 40:54
  Speaker 6: he is not caring enough for her to do something
• 40:57
  Speaker 6: about it.
• 40:57
  Speaker 4: So the partner wasn't listening to Opie's concerns. Like, why
• 41:01
  Speaker 4: does she have to? Why do we do everything for her?
• 41:03
  Speaker 3: Or why?
• 41:03
  Speaker 1: Why?
• 41:04
  Speaker 3: Why is everything she says, you know, OK, there's.
• 41:07
  Speaker 6: A little bit left here. I'm just going to get
• 41:09
  Speaker 6: right into it. Again, he cried and left for work.
• 41:12
  Speaker 6: I talked to my brother in the morning and he
• 41:14
  Speaker 6: and his girlfriend will let me stay with them until
• 41:17
  Speaker 6: I find my place. I wrapped the Christmas gifts for
• 41:19
  Speaker 6: Grayson mostly and him and left them under the tree
• 41:22
  Speaker 6: so they can open them on Christmas morning. He asked
• 41:25
  Speaker 6: if I'd at least join them for Christmas morning. I
• 41:27
  Speaker 6: said no. As for the tickets, they were on my
• 41:30
  Speaker 6: credit card. I'll call Air Canada today to see if
• 41:32
  Speaker 6: I can transfer them to my brother and his girlfriend.
• 41:35
  Speaker 6: I'm so grateful that they let me stay at their place.
• 41:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah. And, you know, if this was a vacation that
• 41:40
  Speaker 1: was planned from the outset to be just you and
• 41:44
  Speaker 1: your partner and the kid was going to stay with
• 41:47
  Speaker 1: an uncle, the kid was somewhere else. I'd be like,
• 41:50
  Speaker 1: it is absurd that his ex-wife is going on this trip.
• 41:54
  Speaker 1: But all of the kids are there. That's the biggest demonic.
• 41:57
  Speaker 1: And we didn't see any evidence that she was actually
• 42:00
  Speaker 1: like insanely out of pocket. OP's partners I mean.
• 42:04
  Speaker 3: Out of pocket she invited herself.
• 42:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah she didn't invite herself she's a an adult who
• 42:09
  Speaker 1: can do whatever she wants but that's weird just because
• 42:11
  Speaker 1: she's at the same physical location.
• 42:13
  Speaker 4: That's weird bro yeah why does she need to go
• 42:16
  Speaker 4: to the same place same time same resort that we're
• 42:18
  Speaker 4: going to I think it's different why does she have
• 42:20
  Speaker 4: to come.
• 42:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah what if it was a deal on a hotel.
• 42:23
  Speaker 4: Don't care Yeah, you don't have to come.
• 42:26
  Speaker 3: Don't care.
• 42:26
  Speaker 4: This should have been a conversation of, hey, can I, oh,
• 42:29
  Speaker 4: you guys are going to Mexico or wherever?
• 42:31
  Speaker 3: Can I come to Mexico? And Simple was, no.
• 42:34
  Speaker 1: She didn't even ask.
• 42:35
  Speaker 3: Why is she inviting herself? Why did she buy a ticket?
• 42:38
  Speaker 3: Why is she coming?
• 42:39
  Speaker 1: It's also that she didn't even ask.
• 42:41
  Speaker 6: She didn't say, hey, do you mind if I, you know,
• 42:44
  Speaker 6: like book a hotel there, blah, blah, blah. She just
• 42:46
  Speaker 6: like asked for all of the details. Kyle gave it
• 42:49
  Speaker 6: to her. And then she's like, all right, well, I'll
• 42:51
  Speaker 6: just see you there.
• 42:52
  Speaker 2: You know, can't wait.
• 42:53
  Speaker 1: The thing is, we're going on a family vacation. We
• 42:55
  Speaker 1: didn't invite you. You're inviting yourself.
• 42:57
  Speaker 3: They're exes. This is our family. Kyle, OP, and son, Grayson.
• 43:02
  Speaker 6: Is it?
• 43:02
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 43:02
  Speaker 1: They just broke up.
• 43:03
  Speaker 3: Well, now it isn't.
• 43:04
  Speaker 1: I don't know, man. But I do think that now
• 43:07
  Speaker 1: looking at it just through a lens of like being
• 43:10
  Speaker 1: a partner, like he did need to talk to her
• 43:12
  Speaker 1: and be like, I get that you want to come because,
• 43:15
  Speaker 1: you know, your son can hang out with his new sister, whatever.
• 43:19
  Speaker 1: But like there has to be time where it's just
• 43:22
  Speaker 1: us and you cannot come and intrude yourself into every
• 43:26
  Speaker 1: element of this. You just can't. And if that conversation
• 43:29
  Speaker 1: couldn't be made and that's what I can understand, then
• 43:32
  Speaker 1: I guess like everybody sucks here. But at the end
• 43:35
  Speaker 1: of the day, like I still feel OP self-sabotaged this
• 43:38
  Speaker 1: more than anything else.
• 43:40
  Speaker 6: I think that she was just fed up that he just,
• 43:43
  Speaker 6: every event she's there.
• 43:44
  Speaker 3: That's what I was saying earlier.
• 43:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 43:45
  Speaker 3: Like she, like whatever she says, it goes. And you're like, why?
• 43:50
  Speaker 6: Yeah, I think it's like nobody is asking her to
• 43:53
  Speaker 6: come to these things. She just invites herself. Or Kyle
• 43:57
  Speaker 6: is inviting her. But then OP goes to Kyle and
• 43:59
  Speaker 6: is like, can you not invite her?
• 44:00
  Speaker 1: And he's like, well, you know, that's... If there's an
• 44:03
  Speaker 1: event involving your child, I think it would be implied
• 44:07
  Speaker 1: that you're going. Yeah, but she was even there for
• 44:09
  Speaker 1: OP's birthday, which is weird. Why would she be? That
• 44:11
  Speaker 1: doesn't have anything to do with her kids. She, like,
• 44:13
  Speaker 1: showed up to her birthday. Y'all be dating some toxic exes. Ivy!
• 44:19
  Speaker 1: That's the end of that story. My date's mother demanded
• 44:23
  Speaker 1: my family's secret pie recipe the very first time we met.
• 44:28
  Speaker 1: It just tastes so good, I want to make it
• 44:29
  Speaker 1: all the time! Nah, I'd push you down the hill.
• 44:32
  Speaker 1: Opie says, I had gotten a summer job at a
• 44:35
  Speaker 1: local park doing maintenance work. Among the group of other
• 44:38
  Speaker 1: new hires was Noah, a gorgeous Italiano guy that happened
• 44:42
  Speaker 1: to be in my grade at the same high school-
• 44:45
  Speaker 1: We were going into junior year at the time.
• 44:47
  Speaker 3: Why do you have to put the Italian part in there?
• 44:49
  Speaker 6: Oh, because now I got a clear image of what
• 44:52
  Speaker 6: he looks like, and it's hot.
• 44:54
  Speaker 1: We immediately hit it off and clung to each other
• 44:56
  Speaker 1: as the summer progressed. He didn't have a phone, so
• 44:59
  Speaker 1: our only form of communication was with pasta. No, it
• 45:02
  Speaker 1: was at work. Finally, Noah and I decided to go
• 45:07
  Speaker 1: on our first date to see The Hangover. Oh, what
• 45:12
  Speaker 1: a nice little date.
• 45:13
  Speaker 3: We're traveling back in time.
• 45:15
  Speaker 1: Back to what, 07, 08? He proposed that I pick
• 45:19
  Speaker 1: him up. He did not have a license, so I
• 45:22
  Speaker 1: could formally meet his family. I thought it was a
• 45:24
  Speaker 1: great idea and offered to bring one of the pies
• 45:26
  Speaker 1: I had recently made. These pies are cherished within my family.
• 45:30
  Speaker 1: My sister and I are the only ones with the recipe.
• 45:33
  Speaker 1: He declined the pie because his family was too large
• 45:37
  Speaker 1: for one pie. I just shrugged this off and didn't
• 45:39
  Speaker 1: think twice about it. The afternoon of our first date comes.
• 45:43
  Speaker 1: I pull into his driveway and I notice his mother
• 45:45
  Speaker 1: swing the front door open. For some odd reason, she
• 45:49
  Speaker 1: was still in her nightgown and slippers. That's not, that's
• 45:51
  Speaker 1: just an Italian mother. Yep. As I'm walking up the
• 45:54
  Speaker 1: pathway to the porch, she's glaring at me and belts out,
• 45:57
  Speaker 1: A very is the pie. Oh, she wants a pie.
• 46:01
  Speaker 1: I was taken aback since Noah had told me to
• 46:04
  Speaker 1: not bring a pie. She rolled her eyes and let
• 46:06
  Speaker 1: me inside where I found Noah hiding in the corner
• 46:09
  Speaker 1: like a cowering puppy.
• 46:10
  Speaker 3: Oh, you don't want to ever see an Italian woman upset.
• 46:12
  Speaker 3: It's not good.
• 46:14
  Speaker 1: It was odd to see him like this, especially since
• 46:16
  Speaker 1: he was so confident and masculine at work. By the way,
• 46:20
  Speaker 1: this comes from MLM35. If you want to submit your
• 46:22
  Speaker 1: own stories, go to the r slash OK story. I'm Subreddit.
• 46:24
  Speaker 1: I'm Dakota. I'm Savannah.
• 46:25
  Speaker 3: I'm Keon.
• 46:26
  Speaker 7: We're going to read this story and we're going to
• 46:27
  Speaker 7: have our thoughts about it. And you're going to have
• 46:29
  Speaker 7: your own thoughts about it. And you can put yours
• 46:30
  Speaker 7: in the comments. And we're going to put ours in
• 46:32
  Speaker 7: your ears right now. Just know that we don't know
• 46:34
  Speaker 7: the answer to everything. We only know what we know.
• 46:37
  Speaker 1: And OP says, Noah's mom, noted as NM from here.
• 46:43
  Speaker 1: We're going to call her No Mama. Noah, his father,
• 46:46
  Speaker 1: and myself sat in the living room awkwardly, each of
• 46:50
  Speaker 1: us sitting on a different couch, staring at one another.
• 46:53
  Speaker 1: We attempted to make small talk, but No Mama abruptly
• 46:56
  Speaker 1: interrupts our conversation and says, I'm sorry.
• 46:59
  Speaker 2: But where is the pie?
• 47:01
  Speaker 3: So bad.
• 47:01
  Speaker 1: That was bad, okay? Really bad. I shoot a look
• 47:04
  Speaker 1: at Noah, who looks down and doesn't say anything. I
• 47:07
  Speaker 1: apologize and tell No Mama that Noah told me not
• 47:10
  Speaker 1: to bring it. but I'd be happy to bring her
• 47:12
  Speaker 1: one after the movie. We continue to make small talk
• 47:15
  Speaker 1: until it's time to leave for our movie. As I
• 47:19
  Speaker 1: am driving to the movies, I try to ask Noah
• 47:21
  Speaker 1: about the Great Pie Inquisition without ruining our first date.
• 47:26
  Speaker 1: He told me that his mother gets fixated on things sometimes,
• 47:29
  Speaker 1: but he otherwise thought our meeting went great. During our
• 47:33
  Speaker 1: commute to the movies, my phone rings. And sure enough,
• 47:38
  Speaker 1: it is No Mama. Why does she have your number?
• 47:41
  Speaker 1: She knows people. Like, just run.
• 47:44
  Speaker 3: She Noah's a guy.
• 47:45
  Speaker 1: She knows a couple guys.
• 47:47
  Speaker 3: She Noah's a guy named Noah.
• 47:49
  Speaker 1: I don't even know how she got my phone number. Yeah.
• 47:52
  Speaker 1: She asks to speak to Noah and they speak for
• 47:55
  Speaker 1: a minute. He hangs up and tells me to keep driving.
• 47:58
  Speaker 1: Two minutes later, no mama calls again. She demands that
• 48:02
  Speaker 1: I give her the pie recipe so she can make
• 48:04
  Speaker 1: it herself since I didn't bring her one.
• 48:06
  Speaker 4: You know, with all that, it's making it so much
• 48:09
  Speaker 4: easier for me not to give you the pie recipe.
• 48:12
  Speaker 1: You just give her the wrong pie recipe, bro. It's
• 48:15
  Speaker 1: that easy. Yeah, I don't know. I'd be annoyed. I'd
• 48:19
  Speaker 1: be like, why does your mom really want this?
• 48:21
  Speaker 4: Yeah, this is I'd be like, no, this is actually
• 48:23
  Speaker 4: it was cute. And like, I get it at first,
• 48:25
  Speaker 4: but this is actually not cool.
• 48:28
  Speaker 1: I apologize again and reluctantly share the pie recipe with her.
• 48:33
  Speaker 1: After the longest 15-minute drive of my life, we get
• 48:35
  Speaker 1: to our movie, we get our tickets, and head to
• 48:37
  Speaker 1: the concessions. My phone rings again. It is no mama
• 48:41
  Speaker 1: demanding to speak to Noah. I notice his face turn
• 48:44
  Speaker 1: bright red as he hangs up the phone. He informs me.
• 48:48
  Speaker 1: That we have to leave.
• 48:49
  Speaker 3: What? But we have to go see peak comedy in 2007, 2008.
• 48:51
  Speaker 3: The Hangover.
• 48:52
  Speaker 1: No, you have to go to the grocery store for
• 48:55
  Speaker 1: No Mama. That's my guess.
• 48:56
  Speaker 4: They have that guy from The Office and that cute guy,
• 49:00
  Speaker 4: Bradley Cooper. I don't know what he's been in. And
• 49:01
  Speaker 4: then Zach Alphanakis, whoever that is.
• 49:04
  Speaker 3: No, I like him.
• 49:08
  Speaker 1: He's cool. As we head back to my car, he
• 49:11
  Speaker 1: told me that his mother is forbidding him to ever
• 49:13
  Speaker 1: see me again. She is making him quit his job
• 49:17
  Speaker 1: with me and that we won't be allowed to talk
• 49:19
  Speaker 1: to each other at school. And why? Because of the
• 49:23
  Speaker 1: effing pie.
• 49:25
  Speaker 6: What?
• 49:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah, okay. As we approach his house, I am getting
• 49:28
  Speaker 1: more and more pissed off. He tells me everything will
• 49:31
  Speaker 1: be fine and that he'll find a way to contact
• 49:32
  Speaker 1: me later. When I pull into his driveway, his mother
• 49:35
  Speaker 1: is standing on the porch, still in her nightgown and
• 49:37
  Speaker 1: slippers at 4 p.m., shaking her fist at me, calling
• 49:39
  Speaker 1: me every name in the book. I am livid. I
• 49:42
  Speaker 1: quickly drive four minutes back to my house, dart inside,
• 49:46
  Speaker 1: pass my sister, grab a pie out of the freezer,
• 49:48
  Speaker 1: and run back to the car. I race back to
• 49:51
  Speaker 1: Noah's house where I leave the pie on his porch.
• 49:53
  Speaker 1: As I'm getting into my car to leave, I watch
• 49:55
  Speaker 1: his dad run out of the house, scoop up the pie,
• 49:58
  Speaker 1: and jump into his car. I start driving down the
• 50:01
  Speaker 1: road and his dad is chasing me. What? Okay.
• 50:06
  Speaker 3: Someone write this into a horror movie. This is crazy.
• 50:08
  Speaker 1: What kind of pie does she make?
• 50:10
  Speaker 6: I mean.
• 50:11
  Speaker 1: What is this?
• 50:12
  Speaker 3: This is like the sequel to Get Out.
• 50:16
  Speaker 1: This is insanity. Wait, Audrey says Looney Tunes behavior. This
• 50:21
  Speaker 1: is like a Wile E. Coyote-esque Looney Tunes episode. At
• 50:25
  Speaker 1: this point, my adrenaline is pumping, and we're going 60
• 50:29
  Speaker 1: miles an hour down a residential 30 zone. The road
• 50:33
  Speaker 1: ends into a Kroger parking lot, so I pulled into
• 50:36
  Speaker 1: a parking lot spot, feeling defeated. I roll down my
• 50:40
  Speaker 1: car window to see what the F Noah's dad wants.
• 50:42
  Speaker 1: Without saying a word, he marched up to my car
• 50:44
  Speaker 1: window and threw the pie at me. He walked away,
• 50:48
  Speaker 1: got in his car, and left. I had pie dripping
• 50:51
  Speaker 1: down my shirt and into my lap.
• 50:52
  Speaker 3: Whoa, whoa, whoa. What is going on? This is insane.
• 50:56
  Speaker 1: Forever. So, wait.
• 50:58
  Speaker 6: Just to recap and get this right. She gives the
• 51:01
  Speaker 6: pie to them. The dad comes out, chases after her
• 51:05
  Speaker 6: with the pie in his hand. She's going like 60-some
• 51:08
  Speaker 6: on this residential thing. She finally stops and... He just
• 51:13
  Speaker 6: throws the pie at her? The dad throws the pie
• 51:15
  Speaker 6: at her? That's a soap, brother!
• 51:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I have a feeling that his parents are.
• 51:21
  Speaker 3: No, it's a pie.
• 51:22
  Speaker 1: Maybe. Noah's just maybe. Noah's parents are incredibly abusive. Just
• 51:28
  Speaker 1: a thought.
• 51:29
  Speaker 3: No, back in the day, that's just called being Italian.
• 51:32
  Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure that... He comes inside. He gets interrogated.
• 51:35
  Speaker 1: He gets locked in a room.
• 51:36
  Speaker 3: I mean, you walked into the house. That boy was
• 51:38
  Speaker 3: cowering in the corner.
• 51:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 51:41
  Speaker 3: Fighting for his life.
• 51:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I have a feeling these parents should be in jail.
• 51:45
  Speaker 1: Maybe that's why they left Italy. Maybe they were fleeing
• 51:48
  Speaker 1: the authorities.
• 51:48
  Speaker 3: I don't know.
• 51:49
  Speaker 1: Anyway, OP says, I wish I could say this is
• 51:52
  Speaker 1: where the story ends, but it doesn't. I drove home
• 51:55
  Speaker 1: and walked into the shower with my clothes on.
• 51:57
  Speaker 3: Oh, that's sad.
• 51:58
  Speaker 1: I couldn't even find the words to tell my sister
• 52:00
  Speaker 1: what happened. A few hours later, we hear a knock
• 52:04
  Speaker 1: at our door. It was Noah explaining how his parents
• 52:08
  Speaker 1: quit his job for him. kicked him out of the house,
• 52:11
  Speaker 1: and were contemplating switching his school all because of the pie. What?
• 52:17
  Speaker 1: I thought they wanted the pie. Yeah, what is going on?
• 52:21
  Speaker 1: So the mom wants the pie. She gives the pie.
• 52:23
  Speaker 6: The dad's like, get that pie.
• 52:25
  Speaker 1: Out of here. Like, what is in this pie? I
• 52:29
  Speaker 1: never had a reason in my youth to have a
• 52:33
  Speaker 1: teenage vendetta against somebody. But if this happened to me,
• 52:38
  Speaker 1: I would torment this Italian family to the ends of
• 52:41
  Speaker 1: the earth. I would like to know the pie recipe.
• 52:46
  Speaker 1: Oh no, I meant to bring you the secret family
• 52:49
  Speaker 1: recipe pie, but I actually brought you the pie of
• 52:51
  Speaker 1: unending anger, anguish, and despair. Noah never returned to work,
• 52:57
  Speaker 1: and I didn't hear from him until school started. However,
• 53:00
  Speaker 1: his father started texting me and bothering me. He would
• 53:04
  Speaker 1: send me vulgar messages and stalk me at work.
• 53:07
  Speaker 3: What is going on?
• 53:08
  Speaker 1: Why? Why is the family coming after you for a pie?
• 53:11
  Speaker 3: I'm sorry. I'm going to Noah. I'm like, what caused this?
• 53:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Did you, like, say I put something in the pie? Like, what?
• 53:19
  Speaker 1: What happened? Did she realize, like, this pie is the pie?
• 53:24
  Speaker 1: That is made by the family that is our mortal enemy.
• 53:27
  Speaker 6: Maybe they didn't realize that it was like, like maybe
• 53:31
  Speaker 6: mom is like gluten free or something.
• 53:33
  Speaker 1: And then.
• 53:34
  Speaker 3: Nah, no one was.
• 53:36
  Speaker 1: It was 2009.
• 53:37
  Speaker 4: 2009?
• 53:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah. It's 2009? Anyway. The police were informed and he
• 53:42
  Speaker 1: was banned from the park I work at. He continued
• 53:44
  Speaker 1: to stalk me by parking on the side of the
• 53:47
  Speaker 1: road of the park all day. I ended up quitting
• 53:50
  Speaker 1: my job. Noah and I proceeded to date for a
• 53:53
  Speaker 1: few more months once school started again. His parents only
• 53:56
  Speaker 1: got crazier, unfortunately. As for me, I'm officially traumatized meeting
• 54:01
  Speaker 1: any SO's parents, and I never, ever forget the pie. Wow,
• 54:05
  Speaker 1: and that is the end of that story. I looked.
• 54:08
  Speaker 3: I can't find nothing. There's nothing.
• 54:10
  Speaker 6: I don't even understand what that even was.
• 54:13
  Speaker 3: I'm very confused. That was insane.
• 54:16
  Speaker 1: And what is this? I assume that that person wrote
• 54:19
  Speaker 1: that while still like young and in high school or
• 54:23
  Speaker 1: like just out of high school. And like, man, something
• 54:26
  Speaker 1: you don't learn really until you get older, unless you're
• 54:29
  Speaker 1: like a skater, is that like you don't need to
• 54:33
  Speaker 1: actually just like eat whatever like older people throw at you.
• 54:37
  Speaker 1: Like if they're going to like be like nasty and
• 54:40
  Speaker 1: like disrespectful and rude to you and like stalk you.
• 54:43
  Speaker 1: Fight back. Absolutely. Just because what? Just because they're 50?
• 54:47
  Speaker 3: I don't know. I agree, Bobby.
• 54:48
  Speaker 1: It's like, absolutely not.
• 54:49
  Speaker 4: I just want to know why. I'm looking at comments.
• 54:52
  Speaker 4: I have to find something.
• 54:53
  Speaker 3: I'm upset.
• 54:54
  Speaker 1: I think it's like, maybe, what's the mortal enemy of Italy?
• 54:58
  Speaker 4: What?
• 54:59
  Speaker 3: It was a Reese's peanut butter pie. Ooh.
• 55:03
  Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, that's... Pretty good. Pretty good.
• 55:07
  Speaker 3: That was a dang. I feel bad for Noah.
• 55:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like, what do you do?
• 55:11
  Speaker 1: Like.
• 55:11
  Speaker 3: Uh, leave?
• 55:12
  Speaker 1: I had plenty of friends growing up that just left
• 55:15
  Speaker 1: because their parents sucked at. I mean, yeah, but... You leave.
• 55:20
  Speaker 1: And that's the end of this story. Let's head to
• 55:22
  Speaker 1: the next one. My crush was leaving for the summer.
• 55:26
  Speaker 1: So I finally took the leap.
• 55:28
  Speaker 6: I love you!
• 55:30
  Speaker 1: I'm a 20-year-old rising junior engineering student, and I study
• 55:36
  Speaker 1: at a top-five engineering school. I'm naturally a pretty introverted guy,
• 55:41
  Speaker 1: and my only ex actually asked me out in high.
• 55:44
  Speaker 3: School, so.
• 55:45
  Speaker 1: I have basically zero experience making the first move. Lately,
• 55:49
  Speaker 1: I've been trying to put more effort into myself, such
• 55:52
  Speaker 1: as working out, eating better, dressing nicer, and just trying
• 55:56
  Speaker 1: to be a bit more outgoing. About two weeks ago,
• 55:59
  Speaker 1: I joined an undergrad robotics research lab. There is a
• 56:03
  Speaker 1: graduating senior, 22 female, in the lab. And I immediately
• 56:07
  Speaker 1: developed a huge crush on her. The first time we interacted,
• 56:12
  Speaker 1: I just asked her how to correctly pronounce her name.
• 56:15
  Speaker 1: But since then, we've been running some field tests and
• 56:18
  Speaker 1: trials together. Jeez, is that what the kids are calling
• 56:21
  Speaker 1: it these days?
• 56:22
  Speaker 3: Man, we're old. We're just two 30-year-olds.
• 56:25
  Speaker 1: She's coming back to campus in the fall to start
• 56:26
  Speaker 1: her master's, but she probably won't be in this specific
• 56:29
  Speaker 1: lab anymore. By the way, this comes from BigBallNut2. If
• 56:32
  Speaker 1: you want to submit your own stories, go to the
• 56:33
  Speaker 1: r slash OKStoryTime subreddit. I'm Dakota.
• 56:35
  Speaker 3: I'm Keon.
• 56:36
  Speaker 1: I'm Sylvia. We're going to read this story. We're going
• 56:37
  Speaker 1: to have our thoughts. You get to have your own
• 56:39
  Speaker 1: thoughts in the comments. Wow! We get to say what
• 56:40
  Speaker 1: we want. You get to say what you want.
• 56:42
  Speaker 2: We don't know everything, and maybe you do.
• 56:44
  Speaker 1: Maybe you found the all-knowing orb. and gazed into its depths.
• 56:48
  Speaker 3: Don't touch it.
• 56:49
  Speaker 1: Only looking. Anyway, OP says, Over the last few days,
• 56:53
  Speaker 1: I actually managed to have some normal conversations with her
• 56:56
  Speaker 1: without completely freezing up. Since she moved to the US
• 56:59
  Speaker 1: a few years ago, we talked a bit about her
• 57:01
  Speaker 1: home country, and she gave me some recommendations on where
• 57:04
  Speaker 1: to visit. We also joked a little bit about the
• 57:06
  Speaker 1: weather where she's moving. Nothing super deep, but it felt
• 57:09
  Speaker 1: really natural. The craziest part was when I mentioned I
• 57:11
  Speaker 1: hadn't seen the rest of the lab building yet, and
• 57:13
  Speaker 1: she voluntarily offered to give me a tour. She volunteered,
• 57:17
  Speaker 1: and there were other people in the room. That gave
• 57:20
  Speaker 1: me crazy butterflies, but I keep telling myself she's just
• 57:23
  Speaker 1: being friendly to the new guy. I know if I
• 57:25
  Speaker 1: don't do anything before she leaves, I'm going to regret
• 57:28
  Speaker 1: it all summer and wonder, what if? But I also
• 57:30
  Speaker 1: embarrass really easily, and I absolutely cannot make a move
• 57:32
  Speaker 1: in front of our professor or the other guys in
• 57:34
  Speaker 1: the lab. I don't want to make things weird or
• 57:36
  Speaker 1: unprofessional for her on her last day. Unprofessional, y'all are students.
• 57:40
  Speaker 3: Also, you're waiting until the last day to do this?
• 57:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 57:42
  Speaker 3: You're like.
• 57:43
  Speaker 4: If I don't shoot my shot now, I'll never know.
• 57:46
  Speaker 4: And if she does say yes, she's gone.
• 57:50
  Speaker 1: And once she says yes, she'll be back for her Masters, maybe,
• 57:55
  Speaker 1: unless she makes, I don't know, $ 10 million as the
• 57:57
  Speaker 1: defense contractor, as they tend to do. You know.
• 58:01
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it's just like, it's the last day. I got
• 58:04
  Speaker 4: nothing to lose and everything to gain.
• 58:06
  Speaker 1: So here's my plan. I'm going to find out if
• 58:08
  Speaker 1: her official last day is Friday or Monday. Whenever she's
• 58:11
  Speaker 1: packing up to leave for the last time, I'm going
• 58:13
  Speaker 1: to wait until she says goodbye to everyone else. When
• 58:16
  Speaker 1: she actually heads for the door, I'll grab my bag
• 58:18
  Speaker 1: and just tell her I'll walk out with her. Once
• 58:21
  Speaker 1: we're in the hallway or walking outside and completely away
• 58:23
  Speaker 1: from our coworkers, I plan to ask for her Instagram
• 58:26
  Speaker 1: so we can stay in touch over the summer.
• 58:28
  Speaker 3: This is such a, what a way to flirt.
• 58:30
  Speaker 1: Dude's cooking and the gas isn't even on. After she
• 58:33
  Speaker 1: puts it in my phone, I want to tell her
• 58:36
  Speaker 1: I hope she has a great internship and that I'd
• 58:38
  Speaker 1: love to take her out for coffee when she gets
• 58:40
  Speaker 1: back to campus in the fall so she can tell
• 58:42
  Speaker 1: me about it.
• 58:42
  Speaker 3: He emphasized love. He went, I'd love.
• 58:47
  Speaker 1: Get this. OP says, I feel like this makes my
• 58:50
  Speaker 1: intentions clear, but also gives her an easy out if
• 58:53
  Speaker 1: she isn't interested since she can just say she'll be busy.
• 58:56
  Speaker 4: This guy, this guy gave it the good old college
• 58:59
  Speaker 4: try and went, all right, I tried.
• 59:01
  Speaker 1: You are reminding me in the worst possible way of
• 59:04
  Speaker 1: bear from obsession. Do not be bear from obsession. Just
• 59:07
  Speaker 1: tell her, just tell her. And if she's like, ah,
• 59:09
  Speaker 1: I don't really have feelings for you like that, you go, hey,
• 59:11
  Speaker 1: life's too short, huh, to wonder, right? But hey, now
• 59:14
  Speaker 1: I know, I wish you the best, and maybe I'll
• 59:16
  Speaker 1: see you around. Boom, you're done. Nobody cares. You're moving
• 59:19
  Speaker 1: on with your life, right? We're your homies.
• 59:21
  Speaker 2: It'll be okay if you're rejected.
• 59:24
  Speaker 1: Yes, life.
• 59:24
  Speaker 2: It'll be okay.
• 59:25
  Speaker 3: That is life.
• 59:26
  Speaker 1: Am I completely delusional for trying this? No. Is saying
• 59:30
  Speaker 1: I want to take her out too aggressive for a
• 59:32
  Speaker 1: guy who just joined the lab? No. Please let me
• 59:35
  Speaker 1: know if this sounds like a natural way to do it.
• 59:38
  Speaker 1: It is not. Or if I'm going to completely crash
• 59:41
  Speaker 1: and burn.
• 59:41
  Speaker 2: Oh, man. I mean, like.
• 59:42
  Speaker 1: This is cute. It's not even that it's not natural, but, like,
• 59:45
  Speaker 1: the way that you are so intently planning, like, the
• 59:49
  Speaker 1: timing of, like, what should be just a very casual, like, hey,
• 59:53
  Speaker 1: let me get your Instagram so we can stay in touch.
• 59:55
  Speaker 1: And also, just to let you know, I think you're
• 59:57
  Speaker 1: beautiful and I'd love to take you out to coffee.
• 59:59
  Speaker 3: No, you know what he's doing? He's Sherlock homing right now.
• 1:00:02
  Speaker 3: He's going.
• 1:00:02
  Speaker 1: He's mind palacing? Yeah, literally. Literally.
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 4: He's like, I got to go through every scenario. What
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 4: if she says maybe? What if she says yes? What
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 4: if she says no? Then the next step.
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 1: You don't need this elaborate of a plan because the
• 1:00:16
  Speaker 1: best laid plans of mice and men often go awry.
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 1: We got some comments. Comment one says, even if she
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 1: says no, you'll probably feel better knowing you at least
• 1:00:25
  Speaker 1: tried instead of wondering about it all summer. OP says,
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 1: I will get it done. For some reason, I am
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 1: super scared of rejection. I never thought I was. I
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 1: know it's illogical. A rejection at least gives me clarity.
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 1: But I am still so scared. It's scary. Look, as
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 1: an unironically, like, I feel your fear. I feel your fear.
• 1:00:47
  Speaker 3: Everyone's scared of rejection.
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 1: It's like, I know the fear of like, but what
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 1: if she doesn't like me? What if this and what
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 1: if that? And what if she says no?
• 1:00:54
  Speaker 3: Even my phone was scared of rejection. It just started
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 3: talking to me.
• 1:00:57
  Speaker 1: You just got to push through it. And the moment
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 1: you push through it, for me, it always dissolves. But
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 1: it never goes away. It has never gone away from
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 1: me from like teenager me to like me.
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 3: No, I remember. I remember every time being rejected. It's
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 3: stuck in my brain.
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 4: Oh, really?
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 2: Dang.
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 1: Comment two. I am a woman. Boy. Boy.
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 6: Boy.
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 1: Ask her out. Be respectful and just tell her you
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 1: think she's smart and you think she's cool and that
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 1: you would like to hang out and get to know
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 1: her better. You don't have to go crazy. Just ask
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 1: her for coffee or something. Easy, so it's less pressure.
• 1:01:27
  Speaker 1: Good luck. OP says, I will do.
• 1:01:30
  Speaker 3: I will do.
• 1:01:31
  Speaker 4: See, even when he wants to do it, even through
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 4: his messaging and replying to people, nervous.
• 1:01:36
  Speaker 1: What do you think I should say or do if
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 1: she either says no to the Instagram? Unlikely. Or no
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 1: to the coffee date?
• 1:01:43
  Speaker 3: Likely.
• 1:01:44
  Speaker 1: Or maybe she has a boyfriend. Find him. She hasn't
• 1:01:48
  Speaker 1: mentioned one ever, though. And there's an update from eight
• 1:01:50
  Speaker 1: days later.
• 1:01:51
  Speaker 3: Just do it, Nike. What's the worst that could happen?
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 1: What's the worst?
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 2: Worst.
• 1:01:57
  Speaker 1: Worst. I thought that was your joke. Update. Eight days later. Well,
• 1:02:04
  Speaker 1: as many of you rightly pointed out in the comments
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 1: of the first post, relying on perfect last minute plans
• 1:02:07
  Speaker 1: is usually a bad idea in engineering and in life.
• 1:02:11
  Speaker 1: A lot of you advised me to do it earlier
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 1: because of how unpredictable final day logistics can be, and
• 1:02:16
  Speaker 1: you were absolutely correct. And I learned that lesson the
• 1:02:18
  Speaker 1: hard way. Uh-oh. Here is what actually happened.
• 1:02:24
  Speaker 3: Oh, no.
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 1: The day arrived. I was prepared to execute the in-person plan.
• 1:02:29
  Speaker 1: I was already sweating bullets. Then I found out through
• 1:02:32
  Speaker 1: the grapevine, there it is again, That a last minute
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 1: unpredictable issue popped up on her end. Plans changed and
• 1:02:38
  Speaker 1: it became highly unlikely that she would even be coming
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 1: into the lab in person before she officially headed out.
• 1:02:44
  Speaker 1: My entire strategy for the week completely evaporated. If I
• 1:02:47
  Speaker 1: hadn't prepared a backup plan, I would have been completely doomed.
• 1:02:51
  Speaker 3: This is so cute.
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 4: I can see this in your perfect little tiny gigantic brain, OP.
• 1:02:56
  Speaker 3: So cute.
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 1: The number part of your brain, very big. The talk-to-lady
• 1:03:01
  Speaker 1: part of your brain, very small. But it's okay. We
• 1:03:03
  Speaker 1: can make it larger. Instead of letting it end there,
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 1: I realized I had to pivot, Ross, friends. Since the
• 1:03:11
  Speaker 1: optimal in-person move was off the table, I went for
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 1: my suboptimal plan and decided to reach out to her
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 1: over a messaging app we use for lab coordination.
• 1:03:21
  Speaker 3: Oh, man. All right. It's something.
• 1:03:24
  Speaker 1: I knew it wasn't the ideal scenario you guys advised
• 1:03:27
  Speaker 1: me on, but it was the only card I had left.
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 1: I started the conversation smoothly, framing it around a robotics
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 1: question we had been working on. That's not smooth, bro.
• 1:03:38
  Speaker 1: That's called talking about a completely different thing.
• 1:03:42
  Speaker 4: You went, hey, quick question about robotics.
• 1:03:45
  Speaker 2: Quick.
• 1:03:45
  Speaker 3: Shifting gears here. I like you.
• 1:03:48
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:03:50
  Speaker 3: You like me too?
• 1:03:51
  Speaker 1: That's, yeah. And that is the crux of what, that's
• 1:03:54
  Speaker 1: when it's the hard, the hardest. When you're like, I
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 1: like you.
• 1:03:58
  Speaker 3: And that's it. Not even a response back.
• 1:04:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah. After we wrap that up, I just made the transition.
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 1: I stated that since I wouldn't get to see her
• 1:04:11
  Speaker 1: before she headed out, I wanted to grab her Insta
• 1:04:14
  Speaker 1: so we could keep in touch over the summer. I
• 1:04:16
  Speaker 1: told her I hoped she had a great internship and
• 1:04:18
  Speaker 1: that once she was back on campus in the fall,
• 1:04:21
  Speaker 1: I'd love to take her out for a coffee date
• 1:04:23
  Speaker 1: so she could tell me all about it.
• 1:04:25
  Speaker 3: Oh, you know what? I like it, OP. Cute and sincere.
• 1:04:28
  Speaker 3: Let's see if it works out for you. It's a
• 1:04:30
  Speaker 3: bold strategy, Cotton.
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 1: You still have avoided making your intentions clear.
• 1:04:34
  Speaker 3: Ah, he said date.
• 1:04:35
  Speaker 1: But... For him, that was as clear. But when you
• 1:04:37
  Speaker 1: call it a coffee date, it's like it could be
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 1: a date amongst friends.
• 1:04:41
  Speaker 3: Nah, nah, nah.
• 1:04:41
  Speaker 1: I could take you on a coffee date.
• 1:04:43
  Speaker 3: Why haven't you?
• 1:04:43
  Speaker 1: No, I don't think you like coffee. T, scared of rejection.
• 1:04:47
  Speaker 3: Look at this guy.
• 1:04:48
  Speaker 1: You're just so hot and intimidating. It felt like I
• 1:04:52
  Speaker 1: had typed that sentence out a hundred times before actually
• 1:04:54
  Speaker 1: hitting send. I just sat there staring at the screen.
• 1:04:58
  Speaker 1: And then she replied, yeah, I'd love that! She gave
• 1:05:01
  Speaker 1: me her handle. I confirmed requesting her, and she finished
• 1:05:04
  Speaker 1: with a definitive, thanks, see you in August.
• 1:05:10
  Speaker 4: This guy's, this guy's, I guarantee you, he's hearing the
• 1:05:14
  Speaker 4: church bells ringing.
• 1:05:15
  Speaker 3: He's seeing the white picket fence.
• 1:05:17
  Speaker 1: He's seeing those two and a half mutated children.
• 1:05:20
  Speaker 3: They're making robots.
• 1:05:24
  Speaker 1: Don't worry. Together. The mutated children are robots. Samurai Jack style.
• 1:05:29
  Speaker 1: It's fine.
• 1:05:29
  Speaker 3: He can play. Cool.
• 1:05:31
  Speaker 1: It's okay.
• 1:05:33
  Speaker 3: Great. You did it. Now what?
• 1:05:35
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah. He continues.
• 1:05:38
  Speaker 3: He sits and waits in the room. Just like, all right,
• 1:05:41
  Speaker 3: I wait.
• 1:05:41
  Speaker 1: Just sits there in the lab drinking juice.
• 1:05:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:05:45
  Speaker 1: However, I'm still an introverted overthinker. And as many of
• 1:05:49
  Speaker 1: you can probably empathize, getting the solution to work Doesn't
• 1:05:53
  Speaker 1: always stop the analysis. My anxiety brain is already worrying
• 1:05:57
  Speaker 1: about one specific detail, and I could use some final
• 1:05:59
  Speaker 1: perspective on it. In my message, I said I'd take
• 1:06:02
  Speaker 1: her for a coffee date so you can tell me
• 1:06:05
  Speaker 1: all about it. I feel like this was a confident
• 1:06:08
  Speaker 1: way to pitch a casual meeting. But now I'm slightly
• 1:06:11
  Speaker 1: worried I didn't make the intent explicit enough. Part of
• 1:06:14
  Speaker 1: me is worrying, did she only agree to a yes
• 1:06:16
  Speaker 1: to coffee as a friendly platonic let's catch up on
• 1:06:18
  Speaker 1: summer interns move? Or is it generally understood that a
• 1:06:21
  Speaker 1: guy asking you to go out for a coffee date
• 1:06:22
  Speaker 1: when you return is romantic, even if the phrasing includes
• 1:06:25
  Speaker 1: catching up on a trip? This is what I will
• 1:06:26
  Speaker 1: say to you.
• 1:06:27
  Speaker 3: You're so cute.
• 1:06:27
  Speaker 1: Y'all are not married.
• 1:06:28
  Speaker 3: You're so cute, OP.
• 1:06:30
  Speaker 1: You know, this is, don't get ahead of yourself, bro.
• 1:06:32
  Speaker 1: You want to hear, I'm, should I tell the cringiest
• 1:06:35
  Speaker 1: thing I've ever done? Sure.
• 1:06:37
  Speaker 3: Make everyone feel better about themselves.
• 1:06:38
  Speaker 1: This is the genuinely, the cringiest thing I've ever done
• 1:06:42
  Speaker 1: is because I got way, way ahead of myself.
• 1:06:46
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:06:46
  Speaker 1: Um, I worked with a person. Mm-hmm.
• 1:06:50
  Speaker 3: Wow that's really cringy.
• 1:06:51
  Speaker 1: And there was like i don't know there was there
• 1:06:54
  Speaker 1: was like just like an inkling of maybe something whatever
• 1:06:59
  Speaker 1: yeah she said hi and so we was whatever um
• 1:07:05
  Speaker 1: nothing came of it we were still talking on socials
• 1:07:08
  Speaker 1: and like she was like overseas in a different place
• 1:07:12
  Speaker 1: and um made like an offhanded remark about like me
• 1:07:17
  Speaker 1: going there. But like, I don't even think in like
• 1:07:19
  Speaker 1: the way I was like, come there with me. It's like,
• 1:07:22
  Speaker 1: you should go there because it's cool. And in my head,
• 1:07:25
  Speaker 1: I started, I concocted an entire like fantasy about like, oh,
• 1:07:31
  Speaker 1: I'll go. And while she's out there, like I'll be
• 1:07:33
  Speaker 1: there too. And we'll be like, blah, blah, blah. And
• 1:07:35
  Speaker 1: we was like, oh, blah, blah, blah. And then the
• 1:07:38
  Speaker 1: very moment that I said something that showed that that
• 1:07:42
  Speaker 1: was where my head was at, she was like, oh, yeah, no,
• 1:07:45
  Speaker 1: I don't know if that's really a thing that's going
• 1:07:49
  Speaker 1: to happen. I don't know where you got that idea.
• 1:07:53
  Speaker 3: And you went... Cool, I quit.
• 1:07:55
  Speaker 1: And I went, cool, that's the last time I'll be
• 1:07:58
  Speaker 1: talking to you.
• 1:07:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:08:00
  Speaker 1: It's because I just got way ahead of myself. And
• 1:08:03
  Speaker 1: that's what you're doing right now. So stop. She wants
• 1:08:07
  Speaker 1: to keep getting to know you.
• 1:08:08
  Speaker 4: Oh, he's definitely the type of person to be like,
• 1:08:10
  Speaker 4: send another message. So when you said yes to that,
• 1:08:13
  Speaker 4: I wanted to show my intentions were very clear that
• 1:08:15
  Speaker 4: I want to date you more, not as a friend,
• 1:08:17
  Speaker 4: but as somebody interested in you.
• 1:08:20
  Speaker 3: I hope you don't do that because that would be
• 1:08:23
  Speaker 3: not good.
• 1:08:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah, just.
• 1:08:25
  Speaker 3: You don't want to scare her off.
• 1:08:26
  Speaker 1: Just play it cool. Clearly she thinks that you're cool
• 1:08:30
  Speaker 1: enough to, you know, be like, hey, we're gonna... I'm gonna...
• 1:08:35
  Speaker 1: I'll see you in August. Like this isn't like a, oh,
• 1:08:38
  Speaker 1: like weird. Like this guy wants to, it's like, yeah,
• 1:08:40
  Speaker 1: of course. That sounds awesome. Let's make sure we reconnect.
• 1:08:44
  Speaker 3: Great.
• 1:08:45
  Speaker 1: Leave it at that. And slowly you build brick by brick.
• 1:08:48
  Speaker 1: The coffee date will happen and it doesn't have to
• 1:08:50
  Speaker 1: be like, okay, so now that we're on this coffee date,
• 1:08:52
  Speaker 1: we're dating and you love me and I love you. Nope.
• 1:08:55
  Speaker 1: You're just two people getting to know each other and
• 1:08:58
  Speaker 1: that's it.
• 1:08:59
  Speaker 3: Give it some time.
• 1:09:00
  Speaker 4: I don't know when I was a kid could not
• 1:09:02
  Speaker 4: talk to women high school bad bad it was very
• 1:09:06
  Speaker 4: bad like hey how's the weather cool.
• 1:09:10
  Speaker 3: Cool scared cool cool scared cool cool I.
• 1:09:13
  Speaker 4: Tried I look at my friends I tried like what
• 1:09:15
  Speaker 4: was that just talk to her it's okay yeah Edit.
• 1:09:20
  Speaker 1: To the people who are viewing this post later. Could
• 1:09:23
  Speaker 1: you tell me how I should approach this summer? I
• 1:09:25
  Speaker 1: have her Instagram. I have her two days now. Do
• 1:09:27
  Speaker 1: I wait until August and then reach out to her? Oh, buddy.
• 1:09:31
  Speaker 1: OP says, or should I wait for her to post
• 1:09:34
  Speaker 1: a story and then reply to it? Or do I
• 1:09:36
  Speaker 1: just cold text her? We got some comments. I also
• 1:09:40
  Speaker 1: commented on the first post. I hope OP does not
• 1:09:42
  Speaker 1: get friend zoned. I would say nothing has implied anything
• 1:09:45
  Speaker 1: beyond a platonic meetup, but lots of relationships start that way. So,
• 1:09:48
  Speaker 1: Not a huge issue. Opie says, I mean, I did
• 1:09:50
  Speaker 1: call it a coffee date. Well, it's because it happens
• 1:09:53
  Speaker 1: on a day, which is a date. A date, a
• 1:09:56
  Speaker 1: time and a place is a date. A coffee date
• 1:09:59
  Speaker 1: is the most friendly, no, what's it called? Crusher? It's
• 1:10:04
  Speaker 1: the most low stakes form of a hangout.
• 1:10:07
  Speaker 4: And that's why you do a coffee date first and
• 1:10:09
  Speaker 4: then you implore into a, can we do another date?
• 1:10:12
  Speaker 3: But like a dinner date? Drinks?
• 1:10:15
  Speaker 1: I just, I just, I hesitate to like, I don't
• 1:10:19
  Speaker 1: think there's a lot of people who need like a
• 1:10:21
  Speaker 1: course to learn this kind of stuff.
• 1:10:23
  Speaker 3: It's life. You learn it.
• 1:10:24
  Speaker 1: Nah, like honestly, I feel like OP, if he doesn't
• 1:10:27
  Speaker 1: get a handle on this kind of stuff. like is
• 1:10:30
  Speaker 1: really going to find himself in the dark. Cause this
• 1:10:33
  Speaker 1: is kind of extreme to be honest. And I'm not
• 1:10:36
  Speaker 1: saying that you're like a freak or anything, but sometimes
• 1:10:40
  Speaker 1: we have blind spots. We have, we all have blind spots.
• 1:10:42
  Speaker 1: He's an awkward guy. And you gotta like, you know,
• 1:10:45
  Speaker 1: just kind of learn the ins and outs of like
• 1:10:48
  Speaker 1: what this stuff means. You know?
• 1:10:50
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:10:50
  Speaker 1: Going on a coffee date doesn't mean that she's like
• 1:10:52
  Speaker 1: also romantically interested in you. Cause like a coffee is
• 1:10:55
  Speaker 1: really not that romantic. Like, Coffee dates are often like
• 1:10:57
  Speaker 1: the first time you hang out with somebody to get
• 1:10:59
  Speaker 1: a sense of, do I really like this person? Would
• 1:11:02
  Speaker 1: I like to hang out with this person one-on-one again?
• 1:11:05
  Speaker 1: Is what a coffee date is. So that's all it is.
• 1:11:07
  Speaker 1: Just treat it like that. Low stakes.
• 1:11:09
  Speaker 4: Can we get an update? Is there an update on OP?
• 1:11:12
  Speaker 4: Because I feel for him.
• 1:11:13
  Speaker 1: Probably not. I'm sure this was recent.
• 1:11:16
  Speaker 3: He reminds me of like me again. It was 15
• 1:11:18
  Speaker 3: days ago.
• 1:11:19
  Speaker 1: 15 days ago? Yeah, it's the summer internship.
• 1:11:22
  Speaker 3: I didn't know it was this year.
• 1:11:23
  Speaker 1: Well, I mean, it just makes sense that it.
• 1:11:25
  Speaker 4: Is there any kind of comments or responses from him?
• 1:11:27
  Speaker 4: I want to be like, hey.
• 1:11:28
  Speaker 1: No, nothing from James. I'm sure the comments were pretty supportive, right?
• 1:11:32
  Speaker 1: I think.
• 1:11:33
  Speaker 4: The comments are going to be overwhelmingly supportive.
• 1:11:37
  Speaker 1: We've all got blind spots.
• 1:11:38
  Speaker 3: I feel for the guy.
• 1:11:39
  Speaker 4: He's not trying to be weird or awkward. He's like,
• 1:11:41
  Speaker 4: I like a girl, but I don't. Listen, I can
• 1:11:45
  Speaker 4: learn the books and numbers, and I got that all easy.
• 1:11:48
  Speaker 4: Talking to people, no one ever taught me. I don't
• 1:11:51
  Speaker 4: know how to do it. I don't know how to
• 1:11:52
  Speaker 4: walk the walk, do the talk the talk.
• 1:11:54
  Speaker 1: Eh. Eh. King Boji.
• 1:11:56
  Speaker 4: Eh.
• 1:11:57
  Speaker 1: And that's the end of this story. Let's head to
• 1:11:59
  Speaker 1: the next one.
• 1:12:00
  Speaker 6: Hey, it's Angie, your favorite Riley's girlfriend host here. We're
• 1:12:04
  Speaker 6: going to get back to the stories, but here's three
• 1:12:06
  Speaker 6: minutes of ads from our sponsors.
• 1:12:09
  Speaker 1: My wife asked for an open relationship until she got caught. Ooh,
• 1:12:15
  Speaker 1: well that stinks. I, 23 male, have been married to
• 1:12:19
  Speaker 1: my wife, 23, for a year now. We've been dating
• 1:12:22
  Speaker 1: since we were both 17. And last year we got married. Huh, cool.
• 1:12:28
  Speaker 1: My wife is my first. But she had a boyfriend
• 1:12:30
  Speaker 1: before me. And I never really cared about it because
• 1:12:32
  Speaker 1: back then... She was a widowy, a child. That's a weird,
• 1:12:36
  Speaker 1: that's a weird way to look at it no matter what.
• 1:12:38
  Speaker 1: Our whole relationship and marriage has been strong. She's a
• 1:12:41
  Speaker 1: very lovely woman who cares for me and thinks about me.
• 1:12:44
  Speaker 1: I love how that, like the most bare minimum thing
• 1:12:48
  Speaker 1: is stated after it's like, our marriage is strong. She
• 1:12:51
  Speaker 1: thinks about me. That's a strong aspect. And I guess
• 1:12:55
  Speaker 1: cares that I'm okay. Those are traits in a relationship,
• 1:13:00
  Speaker 1: so you can't get angry. There were never really any
• 1:13:02
  Speaker 1: red flags until this. Three days ago, while we were
• 1:13:06
  Speaker 1: watching a movie and drinking, my wife suddenly asked me,
• 1:13:10
  Speaker 1: if I would be okay with an open relationship and
• 1:13:12
  Speaker 1: asked me how I would feel if I saw her
• 1:13:15
  Speaker 1: getting effed by another guy.
• 1:13:17
  Speaker 4: Whoa.
• 1:13:19
  Speaker 1: Hey, here's, I've got some more. I've got this for you.
• 1:13:22
  Speaker 1: If you need some red flag, I've got this back
• 1:13:25
  Speaker 1: here for you. It's our curtain. Yeah. Looks like somebody
• 1:13:32
  Speaker 1: didn't process not being able to be with anyone else
• 1:13:36
  Speaker 1: after the age of 17. I was like, uh, what?
• 1:13:43
  Speaker 1: Good one, babe. I asked her, how would you feel
• 1:13:46
  Speaker 1: if I had a side piece and brought her home
• 1:13:48
  Speaker 1: often and after every day right where we're sitting right
• 1:13:51
  Speaker 1: now while she's in the next room or in front
• 1:13:54
  Speaker 1: of us? Would that not make her go insane? I mean,
• 1:13:57
  Speaker 1: to be honest, like she, she, OP, hold on. OP continues.
• 1:14:02
  Speaker 1: She got very, very sad and started crying, but I
• 1:14:05
  Speaker 1: hugged and kissed her and said, we have a very
• 1:14:07
  Speaker 1: loving relationship together and our marriage is going great. Yeah.
• 1:14:11
  Speaker 1: I mean, yeah.
• 1:14:12
  Speaker 2: You mean it was going great until she brought this up.
• 1:14:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah. How do you think she's already cheating? Yes. Okay.
• 1:14:20
  Speaker 2: Immediate.
• 1:14:21
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 1:14:22
  Speaker 1: We are a team and there's no reason for us
• 1:14:25
  Speaker 1: to put each other through pain. And we made out.
• 1:14:28
  Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from Old Yogurt Closet. And
• 1:14:32
  Speaker 1: if you want to submit your own stories, go to
• 1:14:34
  Speaker 1: the r slash okay story time subreddit. I'm Dakota. I'm Savannah.
• 1:14:36
  Speaker 1: We're going to read this story. We're going to have
• 1:14:38
  Speaker 1: our thoughts and you get to have yours and you
• 1:14:39
  Speaker 1: can put yours in the comments. But just, you know,
• 1:14:42
  Speaker 1: be aware. We don't know all the answers to everything,
• 1:14:45
  Speaker 1: but we will say what we think regardless. And OP says,
• 1:14:49
  Speaker 1: before going to sleep, she said she was just joking
• 1:14:52
  Speaker 1: and was curious how I would react. And I said,
• 1:14:56
  Speaker 1: no problem. but I couldn't stop thinking about what she said.
• 1:14:59
  Speaker 1: So I decided to check her phone the next day
• 1:15:02
  Speaker 1: when she wasn't around, but she caught me. She said
• 1:15:06
  Speaker 1: that I'm not trusting her and taking a drunk discussion
• 1:15:09
  Speaker 1: very seriously, and I can check her phone all I
• 1:15:12
  Speaker 1: want every day for however many years I want. She
• 1:15:14
  Speaker 1: texted me her email password and other social media and said,
• 1:15:18
  Speaker 1: check everything and keep checking until I find something, even
• 1:15:21
  Speaker 1: if it takes 10 years. She isn't talking to me
• 1:15:23
  Speaker 1: and is just ignoring me. Even when she's giving me food,
• 1:15:27
  Speaker 1: she's not talking to me. So did I do something
• 1:15:29
  Speaker 1: wrong here? And there's an update two weeks later, but
• 1:15:32
  Speaker 1: I mean... You invaded her privacy. And she was like...
• 1:15:36
  Speaker 1: But also, her request was off-putting.
• 1:15:40
  Speaker 6: And made you question, but I think you could have,
• 1:15:42
  Speaker 6: instead of just taking that step and being like, oh,
• 1:15:45
  Speaker 6: I don't care. I need to figure this out, you know,
• 1:15:47
  Speaker 6: and snoop through her stuff. You could have had that
• 1:15:49
  Speaker 6: conversation of just like, hey.
• 1:15:50
  Speaker 2: Are you all right?
• 1:15:52
  Speaker 6: You know, just weird that you brought that up and
• 1:15:55
  Speaker 6: I'm feeling uneasy about it.
• 1:15:57
  Speaker 1: Can you put me at ease? I always have mixed
• 1:15:59
  Speaker 1: feelings about this stuff. So, I mean, I don't always
• 1:16:03
  Speaker 1: have mixed feelings about it. A lot of times I'm like, yeah,
• 1:16:05
  Speaker 1: you shouldn't look through your partner's phone. But not because
• 1:16:07
  Speaker 1: it's necessarily wrong, but because it's emblematic that there is
• 1:16:10
  Speaker 1: like larger problems in your relationship. And I think like
• 1:16:14
  Speaker 1: she should have understood and been really empathetic about like, oh, yeah,
• 1:16:17
  Speaker 1: of course, you're going to look through my phone. I
• 1:16:19
  Speaker 1: literally just asked you out of the cold, like dark night,
• 1:16:23
  Speaker 1: just out of absolutely nowhere. I was like, how would
• 1:16:26
  Speaker 1: you feel if I was getting, you know, banged out
• 1:16:30
  Speaker 1: by some other guy and you were and you and
• 1:16:33
  Speaker 1: you could watch? Would you like that?
• 1:16:35
  Speaker 6: Yeah, it is really out of the blue and unordinary
• 1:16:38
  Speaker 6: if that was never a discussion before. But I mean,
• 1:16:42
  Speaker 6: if that's something that she's interested in, you know... then yeah,
• 1:16:46
  Speaker 6: you should bring it up, but maybe not the best
• 1:16:48
  Speaker 6: way to bring it up.
• 1:16:49
  Speaker 1: It's very understandable that, and they'd been drinking, so very uninhibited.
• 1:16:53
  Speaker 1: And maybe it's, you know, that's something somebody who's already
• 1:16:55
  Speaker 1: done that would say to be like, okay, then we can,
• 1:16:59
  Speaker 1: I can make this okay. Damage control. Maybe, maybe shot
• 1:17:02
  Speaker 1: in the dark. Maybe it's something he'd enjoy. And he
• 1:17:04
  Speaker 1: was like, no. Anyway, two weeks later, there's an update.
• 1:17:08
  Speaker 1: I kept thinking all these days, I was so very
• 1:17:11
  Speaker 1: much bothered by what she said that I had grown
• 1:17:13
  Speaker 1: suspicious of her. Because of all the comments and DMs
• 1:17:16
  Speaker 1: I got. She is a very lovely woman and the
• 1:17:19
  Speaker 1: love of my life. She's the only woman I've ever
• 1:17:21
  Speaker 1: been with and I love her. But I couldn't stop
• 1:17:23
  Speaker 1: thinking of what she said and I can't imagine her
• 1:17:26
  Speaker 1: getting effed by other men. I decided to test her. No, OP.
• 1:17:32
  Speaker 4: No.
• 1:17:33
  Speaker 1: You're going to be like, what is the hypotenuse triangle?
• 1:17:39
  Speaker 1: How many fingers am I holding up?
• 1:17:41
  Speaker 2: You are digging a hole.
• 1:17:42
  Speaker 1: You might as well stop. Stop before you go too far. Yesterday,
• 1:17:46
  Speaker 1: I sat her down and I told her that I
• 1:17:48
  Speaker 1: am okay with opening our relationship. You've all, okay, this
• 1:17:51
  Speaker 1: is all ruined, but.
• 1:17:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:17:52
  Speaker 1: Okay. Jesus. Just for everyone listening, this is a great
• 1:17:57
  Speaker 1: example of what never to ever do ever in a
• 1:17:59
  Speaker 1: relationship for on both sides, probably. Here we go. Yesterday,
• 1:18:02
  Speaker 1: I sat her down and told her that I'm okay
• 1:18:04
  Speaker 1: with opening our relationship, but it won't be an open relationship.
• 1:18:08
  Speaker 1: I will give her hall passes. As long as she
• 1:18:10
  Speaker 1: is truthful to me, I will let her explore because
• 1:18:13
  Speaker 1: I understand that you are curious because before me, you
• 1:18:16
  Speaker 1: were only with one man and you are a child.
• 1:18:20
  Speaker 1: My wife immediately got angry at me and asked me
• 1:18:22
  Speaker 1: if I've gone mad. She asked me if I'm still
• 1:18:25
  Speaker 1: holding on to that conversation we had days ago and
• 1:18:27
  Speaker 1: now I want to see her with another man. She
• 1:18:29
  Speaker 1: got so angry she yelled and after a while she
• 1:18:32
  Speaker 1: started crying. She said she's sorry for what she asked
• 1:18:35
  Speaker 1: of me. I told her that I love her and
• 1:18:37
  Speaker 1: if that's what she really wants, I'll allow her as
• 1:18:39
  Speaker 1: long as she's truthful. I will think of your happiness first.
• 1:18:42
  Speaker 1: She started crying even more and said that she's sorry
• 1:18:45
  Speaker 1: that she put me through this. She said she loves
• 1:18:48
  Speaker 1: me and would never see me mentally broken and break
• 1:18:51
  Speaker 1: our marriage i asked her why did she bring it
• 1:18:53
  Speaker 1: up then when she didn't want it in the first
• 1:18:55
  Speaker 1: place she said she was reading a lot about open
• 1:18:58
  Speaker 1: relationships on the internet and when she was wasted she
• 1:19:00
  Speaker 1: just blurted without thinking i mean i guess that i
• 1:19:04
  Speaker 1: guess that could be true.
• 1:19:06
  Speaker 6: Yeah, I don't know what to believe. I mean, this
• 1:19:10
  Speaker 6: is hard because.
• 1:19:10
  Speaker 1: There's no proof that she's doing anything wrong. She's very
• 1:19:13
  Speaker 1: open about, you know, giving passwords, whatever. Be like, check it.
• 1:19:17
  Speaker 1: I don't care.
• 1:19:17
  Speaker 6: You know, so she's putting everything on the table.
• 1:19:20
  Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know.
• 1:19:22
  Speaker 6: This could just be like, you know, you guys were
• 1:19:26
  Speaker 6: having some drinks and got a little doozy.
• 1:19:30
  Speaker 1: And we're like, ah, well, you know, maybe this is
• 1:19:33
  Speaker 1: something I can bring up now. Either way, you saying
• 1:19:36
  Speaker 1: this as a test, like, do you mean this? I
• 1:19:38
  Speaker 1: don't think you do. No, there's no way. No, he
• 1:19:41
  Speaker 1: wanted to do that.
• 1:19:43
  Speaker 6: OP was testing her in hopes that she would be like, oh, well, OK,
• 1:19:46
  Speaker 6: can I see this guy? Like maybe already like having
• 1:19:49
  Speaker 6: someone in mind would be like, you know, a hint
• 1:19:51
  Speaker 6: to that she's looking for.
• 1:19:53
  Speaker 1: I don't know. So if you never intended to actually
• 1:19:56
  Speaker 1: let this happen after bringing it up, you are so
• 1:19:59
  Speaker 1: in the wrong.
• 1:20:00
  Speaker 4: Yes.
• 1:20:01
  Speaker 1: And you would have been the wrong party. I don't know.
• 1:20:06
  Speaker 1: Let's finish this story. I said it's okay, but if
• 1:20:09
  Speaker 1: she ever wants anything like that, just tell me and
• 1:20:12
  Speaker 1: I will make her happy. She said she doesn't want
• 1:20:14
  Speaker 1: anyone else other than me. What we did next is
• 1:20:17
  Speaker 1: not relevant. She's still angry at me for what I
• 1:20:19
  Speaker 1: said and only talks to me when I talk to her.
• 1:20:22
  Speaker 1: I brought her a good necklace today. She's happy and
• 1:20:25
  Speaker 1: thanked me, but she isn't really back to the way
• 1:20:27
  Speaker 1: she was. She's still angry a bit. So am I safe?
• 1:20:31
  Speaker 1: I can tell that she doesn't really want open relationship
• 1:20:33
  Speaker 1: or anything of the sort. Otherwise she wouldn't have reacted
• 1:20:36
  Speaker 1: the way that she did. Buddy, I hate to break
• 1:20:38
  Speaker 1: it to you, but I feel like your partner's cheating
• 1:20:40
  Speaker 1: on you. Really? I don't know. Like, I don't know.
• 1:20:43
  Speaker 1: I really have no idea. I don't know if she...
• 1:20:45
  Speaker 1: But that's my gut. My gut is that... Because it's like,
• 1:20:47
  Speaker 1: why would she be so... Adamant about it? Like, still
• 1:20:51
  Speaker 1: so mad, even after the conversation. Yeah, there's... I don't know.
• 1:20:54
  Speaker 1: Wasn't the title, like, he caught her or something?
• 1:20:57
  Speaker 2: I was waiting.
• 1:20:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know.
• 1:21:00
  Speaker 6: Yeah, I was waiting for someone to be, like, caught,
• 1:21:02
  Speaker 6: but it doesn't seem like there was any real.
• 1:21:05
  Speaker 1: conclusion to this so
• 1:21:06
  Speaker 6: I don't know i hope i hope that you guys
• 1:21:09
  Speaker 6: work it out i i don't know if you ruined
• 1:21:11
  Speaker 6: it or not op but definitely gonna have to do
• 1:21:14
  Speaker 6: some makeup work but that's the end of the story