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Stop Being So Defensive | Pele Yoetz | Hachzek Day 112 · The Torah Sparks Podcast

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: How are you?
• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Today is a new topic.
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_00: Day 112 Pelio.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_00: It's the topic of tainus, ta'anos, defense mechanisms that we often um try to live by, which people can often read right through us.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's better to avoid this negative nature.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: Somebody who always attempts to justify himself.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_00: He's de he's very defensive, but it's through vanities, it's through deception.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: It's not real.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: It means he tries to cover things up.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: This person becomes hated and repulsed.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: Because the truth is recognizable and the lies that he's living by will become uncovered.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: People are gonna avoid him.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: They're just gonna gnash their teeth together, not gonna trust what the guy says.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: But how can this man not be ashamed and disgraced?
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: How can he just go and get and fabricate lies to the Velt, Vikhein, or into himself?
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: Vikhein him reitzaelis not till Bedchius.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: When this person wants to excuse himself, um there, you know, and and come up with um you know reasons for this or that, shov ma duchem.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: It's excuses of vanity, ychas love, um what people are just gonna grow angry at him, gam ka'as beemar um saying what?
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: What do you think?
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: Do your fellow men eat straw like animals that you think they don't realize your trickery?
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: Of course they're gonna realize that.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: They pick they're gonna pick ex pick it up exactly what's good, they're gonna read right through you.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: People are gonna be able to do that.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: Then what?
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: Your friend, it's going to be um incensed.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: He's gonna be so upset.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: And these fires of strife are going to ensue.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: A numanic for this um has been taught.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: The Pasik says, which is the dot, right?
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: Kosbi, which really is Milashum like like um milasham lying, um, deceitfulness.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: So that the law is kusbi, the daughter of the leader of Midjun, while the truth is the foundation of all that is built.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: And okay, so the name Qasbi is an allusion to is living with the lies.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: Go and learn from the attributes of our master, Hashem, Dehsev Hinini Nishbach Nishbachal Omrehlochatasi, says, Behold, I'm entering into judgment with you because of your saying, I have not sinned.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: You're not being honest.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: This was actually the main difference between Solomon, I'm sorry, not Solomon, between Shaol, Saul, and David.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: And uh the David on the but David did not vial c and Nash Misa, right?
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: So Shaol was punished by death.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: Aval David Shamar famously he said, Chotasi.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: He said, you know what?
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: He wasn't being defensive.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: He said, he admitted, I have sinned.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: Take a famar lo ha navi gama, hashem, heavy, chataska, lo samos.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: So then he was immediately um told by the Navi, Hashem has forgiven you.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: Vinay Lotsucha, Lime Marsha Siloton Tanas Shekir.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: It goes without saying that it is User for a person to defend himself.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: You can't say things that didn't happen, you can't say things of shekir, because that's shekir.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: Shaivar almash umbro terr shaker tirchak, because the muforsapasum to tare that says distance yourself from false words.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: So you can't use false words to cover things up.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: Of old Pamaphilo Tanus MS Lotum.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: Palyart is telling us something a little bit more nuanced, that even sometimes the person will claim things that actually are technically true, but it still should not be said.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: So in those situations, it's better just to be quiet altogether.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, Yomar on nam chatasius lahno anochimakesh.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: Or if it's actually practical, then a person can say, I have sinned and now I want to seek forgiveness.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: This is how a person who pursues peace should act.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: We all want to be pursuers of peace, especially as we're getting closer and closer to the yontiv.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: So we should go in with this mindset with this mindset and attitude, not trying to be so defensive and not um speaking matters of falsehood, but connecting to the truth to the MS.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: I see you have a fantastic day, Retisha.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: I look forward to learning with you tomorrow.