Latest / Overwhelmed Working Woman: Boost Productivity, Master Time Management, Overcome Overwhelm & Stop People Pleasing / #206| How to Break the Hustle Habit by Choosing Presence Over Perfection
Transcript
- 0:00Michelle Gauthier: You are not your accomplishments.
- 0:06Michelle Gauthier: You're listening to Overwhelmed Working Woman, the podcast that helps you be more calm and more productive by doing less.
- 0:14Michelle Gauthier: I'm your host, Michelle Gauthier, a former Overwhelmed Working Woman and current life coach.
- 0:19Michelle Gauthier: On this show, we unpack the stress and pressure that today's working woman experiences.
- 0:24Michelle Gauthier: And in each episode, you'll get a strategy to bring more calm, ease, and relaxation to your life.
- 0:33Michelle Gauthier: Hi, friend.
- 0:34Michelle Gauthier: Thank you so much for joining today.
- 0:36Michelle Gauthier: Today we are going to be talking about the book Present Over Perfect by Shauna Niequist.
- 0:40Michelle Gauthier: And I'm going to share some of her best tips for creating a life where you feel like you can be present and calm.
- 0:47Michelle Gauthier: I first want to tell you though that this book, when I read it, wrecked me.
- 0:51Michelle Gauthier: You know, sometimes you read a book and you're like, oh, that was good.
- 0:54Michelle Gauthier: And take some things from it.
- 0:56Michelle Gauthier: This book was like, she's looking into my soul.
- 0:59Michelle Gauthier: She sees my soul.
- 1:01Michelle Gauthier: I don't like my soul right now.
- 1:03Michelle Gauthier: It was at a time when I just did not know what to do to change my life.
- 1:07Michelle Gauthier: And so this book was very instrumental and it has a big effect on how I coach my clients today.
- 1:13Michelle Gauthier: It is a great book.
- 1:14Michelle Gauthier: Whether you decide to read it or not, listening to today's podcast will give you some super helpful tips, which is what I always aim to provide when I am doing an episode for you.
- 1:24Michelle Gauthier: Before I jump into the book, I want to remind you that since it's December and we're coming up fast on the new year, that this is a great time to start one-on-one coaching.
- 1:34Michelle Gauthier: And I have a one spot open for one-on-one coaching right now.
- 1:38Michelle Gauthier: If you have been interested in doing coaching with me and you think maybe that spot that's open is yours, set up a time to talk to me.
- 1:47Michelle Gauthier: It is a free consultation, no pressure.
- 1:50Michelle Gauthier: You'll tell me what's going on with you.
- 1:51Michelle Gauthier: I'll explain what we do in coaching.
- 1:53Michelle Gauthier: And maybe you can get started before the year even ends.
- 1:57Michelle Gauthier: Okay, let's jump into this book.
- 1:59Michelle Gauthier: You know, I've chosen about 10 of my favorite books to do these reviews on.
- 2:04Michelle Gauthier: And I have to say it's a lot harder than I thought it was going to be to do these reviews because it's hard to do justice to an excellent book in six to ten minutes.
- 2:12Michelle Gauthier: So I'm giving you the high-level stuff and some hopefully great takeaways that you can take away, even if you never read the book, you will be able to know if you should read the book or listen to the book or however you prefer to consume books or not.
- 2:26Michelle Gauthier: So I first want to start by sharing with you these two paragraphs that are at the beginning of the book where I was like, oh my, she's seeing into my soul.
- 2:36Michelle Gauthier: At the beginning of the book, she's married, she's got little kids, she's an author, she's written books, she does a lot of things with her family, she's involved with our church.
- 2:44Michelle Gauthier: So she's a person who's running around doing a million things all the time.
- 2:49Michelle Gauthier: And so she says, Towards the beginning of the book, I've always given my best energy to things outside myself, believing that I'd be fine, that I was a workhorse, that I didn't need special treatment or babying, or heaven help me, self-care.
- 3:02Michelle Gauthier: Self-care was for the fragile, the special, the dainty.
- 3:06Michelle Gauthier: I was a linebacker, a utility player, a worker be.
- 3:09Michelle Gauthier: I ate on the run, slept in my clothes, worshipped at the altar of my to-do list.
- 3:14Michelle Gauthier: Ouch.
- 3:15Michelle Gauthier: Ignored the crying out of my body and soul like they were nothing more than the buzz of pesky mosquitoes.
- 3:21Michelle Gauthier: You guys have maybe heard me say this before, but I went for years without crying or seemingly getting upset about anything because this is exactly what I was doing.
- 3:31Michelle Gauthier: Hand me everything, I will handle it.
- 3:34Michelle Gauthier: I don't need to take care of myself.
- 3:36Michelle Gauthier: I'm just different.
- 3:37Michelle Gauthier: I can just do everything without any type of break.
- 3:41Michelle Gauthier: And that is how she felt when she started this journey.
- 3:45Michelle Gauthier: And what she says by the end is now I know the best thing I can offer the world is not my force or energy, but a well-tended spirit, a wise and brave soul.
- 3:56Michelle Gauthier: My regrets are how many years I bruised people with my fragmented anxious presence, how many moments of connection I missed, too busy, too tired, too frantic, and strung out on the drug of efficiency.
- 4:10Michelle Gauthier: That paragraph could just almost make me cry, even right now.
- 4:15Michelle Gauthier: But now we know there's a better way.
- 4:17Michelle Gauthier: You don't have to damage your body and your soul and the people you love most in order to get done what you think you have to get done.
- 4:24Michelle Gauthier: So the whole premise of the book is how she got from A to B, how she got from being the person who was a workhorse and a linebacker and just go, go, go all the time to being a person who could be present and peaceful and really enjoy her family and her work.
- 4:42Michelle Gauthier: So the biggest lessons that she teaches in this book are number one, you are not your accomplishments, and that your enoughness is not created by the job you have or how tidy your house is or anything that has to do with things that you do.
- 4:59Michelle Gauthier: She talks about how we become addicted to this behavior of just doing, doing, doing, and she talks about it like a drug.
- 5:06Michelle Gauthier: I'm gonna read directly from the book again.
- 5:08Michelle Gauthier: You can make a drug, a way to anesthesize yourself out of anything.
- 5:13Michelle Gauthier: Working out, binge watching TV, working, having sex, shopping, volunteering, cleaning, dieting, any of those things can keep you from feeling pain for a while.
- 5:23Michelle Gauthier: That's what drugs do.
- 5:25Michelle Gauthier: And use like a drug over time, shopping or TV or work or whatever will make you feel less and less able to connect with the things that matter, like your own heart and the people you love.
- 5:36Michelle Gauthier: That's another thing drugs do.
- 5:38Michelle Gauthier: They isolate you.
- 5:39Michelle Gauthier: So if you feel like you're a person who is addicted to the drug of accomplishments and doing, this might be a great book for you to check out.
- 5:49Michelle Gauthier: We really do live in a culture that rewards and glamorizes hustle, but this book reminds us that peace doesn't come from proving, it comes from pausing and choosing yourself and really getting to know yourself.
- 6:01Michelle Gauthier: Takeaway number two is saying no is holy.
- 6:05Michelle Gauthier: She calls them sacred no's.
- 6:07Michelle Gauthier: Saying no to things, even good things, so that you can say yes to the right things.
- 6:12Michelle Gauthier: Because when we say yes to everything, we're actually saying no to ourselves and our families and our souls.
- 6:19Michelle Gauthier: Because you just cannot live a meaningful life if you're available to everyone all the time.
- 6:24Michelle Gauthier: It's not selfish, it's just wise.
- 6:26Michelle Gauthier: And if you've been listening to the podcast for a while, you know that I use a love and fit test to check to see when to say yes or no.
- 6:35Michelle Gauthier: So the love part is do I absolutely love this idea?
- 6:38Michelle Gauthier: And the fit part is, does this fit into the type of life that I am trying to create?
- 6:43Michelle Gauthier: So that means sometimes you can really love the idea of doing something.
- 6:48Michelle Gauthier: But if you've already got too much going on, probably does not fit into the type of life that you're trying to create.
- 6:55Michelle Gauthier: So she talks a lot about saying no and how saying no is what really enables the slowing down in order to get to that peaceful and present state.
- 7:04Michelle Gauthier: And her third takeaway is that you have to, in order to get better from this, that you have to be able to be slow and sit in the stillness, and that slowness isn't laziness, it's wisdom.
- 7:17Michelle Gauthier: And she calls her what she used to do fake rest.
- 7:21Michelle Gauthier: Like she would put on pajamas, but then she would, you know, clean up all of her emails and order Christmas presents and clean out a closet, just real sneaky like.
- 7:31Michelle Gauthier: And how it was so hard for her to justify resting and that she had to learn that the way to get better and to get reconnected to who she really is was to be able to sit in silence.
- 7:44Michelle Gauthier: And when you're in the quiet, you start to hear your own voice again.
- 7:48Michelle Gauthier: Try this this week.
- 7:49Michelle Gauthier: Just try a minute of driving in your car with absolutely no sound on, or just sitting on your couch without anything else for two minutes and just see how it feels and how comfortable or uncomfortable you are with being in that position.
- 8:06Michelle Gauthier: So I recommend that you read this book if you're exhausted from trying to keep up with your own life, if you're starting to suspect that the way you're living right now is costing you peace or being present with the people you love, or if you want to create a life that feels really good on the inside, not just one that looks good on the outside.
- 8:27Michelle Gauthier: Hopefully, these takeaways in this review have helped you today.
- 8:31Michelle Gauthier: I just want to remind you one more time that you are not your accomplishments and that you are already enough.
- 8:38Michelle Gauthier: Have a great day, and I will see you next week.
- 8:46Michelle Gauthier: Thank you for listening to the Overwhelmed Working Woman podcast.
- 8:49Michelle Gauthier: If you want to learn more about my work, head over to my website at michellegothier.com.
- 8:55Michelle Gauthier: See you next week.