Latest / Badass Boy Mom. BABM. / #2- Transitioning From Summer to Fall

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#2- Transitioning From Summer to Fall · Badass Boy Mom. BABM.

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Bad Ass Boy Moms, hosted by Rachel and Megan Just us boy moms keeping it relatable but raw Sweet and spicy And messy but meaningful While educating the masses Entertaining the sasses And empowering The bad asses.
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Hey, this is Megan.
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And this is Rachel.
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And we are here to talk about transitioning from summer to fall.
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I think this is a big one.
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This is exciting for me because, It happens every year, but every year it's different 'cause the kids are aging up in a new grade with new teachers, with new friends, and, you know, sometimes they have a different start date if you're in elementary school versus middle school versus high school.
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So this is a ever-moving target.
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But we definitely have some good thoughts and resources we've learned, and lessons we've learned to share with you.
I feel like this is a really good sweet spot for Rachel with her social work history having worked with a whole plethora of different children and, her own kids, as her oldest is 18 now and about to go to college.
So she has a lot of good insight and, direction she can enlighten us with.
Well, we're not gonna discredit Megan 'cause she's done this with three boys for 15-plus years and, you know, again, between the two of us, five kids, getting through these transitions, we come to you with lots of experience and maybe some tips and tricks along the way.
Our society's already built around a school schedule, right? I mean, this is long, centuries-old, transitioning kids back into the school system that typically starts mid-August, maybe even beginning of September.
And yeah, we have, we have failed in some ways- along the way with, uh, not having an easy transition, and then we have certainly learned along the way, what has made it a little more smoother.
So but let's not negate the summer.
Let's go back and just highlight our summer.
Megan, what were some of the highlights you had with your kids this summer as they kinda say goodbye to one season and head into the next? Camping.
That's a big one.
We love camping.
Did two camping trips.
You know, driving in the RV and walking around, standing in the RV when it's driving.
It's the little things.
And, you know, building fires at night and building big stick forts out in the woods.
Cooking four pounds of bacon one morning, and there's grease everywhere.
So I think it's, for me and the boys, it's outdoors, outdoors, outdoors, outdoors.
Mm-hmm.
I think my summer, in looking back, was marked by a lot of baseball.
My 18-year-old played kind of his last summer ball program as he heads off to college, so I spent many a days on the sidelines watching a baseball game in sun or rain.
There was some rainy weather this summer.
And my 15-year-old played a lot of lacrosse, so just watching him play lacrosse was fun this summer.
And don't forget, Megan and I both road tripped.
Oh, yes.
Remember? We took a epic road trip across the country back to the Midwest.
We were in, coming from Colorado.
We made it through Nebraska, Iowa, Minnesota, landed in Wisconsin on a lake for- 14-hour drive Really proud of us.
Yeah.
You know, the road tripping experience is one, one of a kind.
But then we landed in lake country Wisconsin and spent many days on a lake just...
The boys were out tubing, they were swimming, We were paddleboarding and kayaking.
Mm-hmm.
It was awesome.
So that was- Catching fish, cooking fish, golfing.
Again- The boys, ooh, a big slip and slide down the hill.
Yes.
Soapy bubbly, huge slip and slide, like a big tarpy, 100 yard slip and slide.
Really fun for the kids.
Yeah.
And a fire.
You know, like again, camping in Colorado with a fire, but also in Wisconsin.
Fire pits at night are nice to sit around and reminisce.
So yeah the summer was full for both our families to the point where sometimes we have all these great ideas last spring of what our summer's gonna look like, and it fills up so quickly and sometimes we can't fit it all in.
Yeah.
And we did a couple concerts.
I mean, without the kids, you and I went to- Yeah.
a concert and we got some more coming up to fill in the rest of our summer.
So yeah.
All right.
So let's talk about transitioning, especially our kids, but maybe even ourselves.
Yes.
How do you start to transition your mindset or mental space into getting your kids ready for fall? Which means school, which also means new activities.
That is a shift from the summer activities.
Mm.
That's a great question.
I like more of a slow roll.
And so I Got what we needed.
I think less is more, so that's one of my kind of life mottos.
Less is more, so it's like we got the pencils, we got the pens, we got some spiral notebooks, the folders.
And then we, we kind of organized it.
The kids organized it, highlighted their schedules since now I have two middle schoolers, sixth and eighth grader, and then the high schooler, the sophomore.
So we got the backpacks, the lunch pails.
Actually we've, I think only one kid got a new lunch pail, 'cause we kind of just if it's not broken, don't fix it.
We got everything organized, put it in our backpacks, and then we still had, two more weeks left of summer or maybe one more week.
It didn't feel as crazy and rushed as in the past.
I don't know if it's 'cause we don't have, elementary school kids anymore, and you don't need the crayons and the colored pencils and the, you know, the Trapper Keeper and the pencil box.
It's, like, less things you need now in middle school and high school.
It's more business and less coloring and stuff.
But- I go with less is more, too.
I grew up with a brand-new backpack and a brand-new everything every year.
And then when I had my own kids, I was like, "Why? Why? The, the backpack worked for three years in a row."
Or we could still reuse, reduce, recycle.
You know my motto.
Yeah.
Um, we can reuse some of the things that we held onto at the end of the year.
Yeah, not everything is gonna be there.
We can just s- scrap together a couple pencils and pens from the spring.
But, and if you notice, how the system is changing, even technology, my kids don't need a bunch of physical notebooks anymore because they're gonna be doing more typing, or they're gonna get a subscription to something they have to read online versus an actual book they have to buy ahead of time.
So that's been a shift to not even have to do as much shopping.
And I will admit I do more online shopping now because it's just so freaking convenient.
Mm-hmm.
Instead of having to go to the store and up and down the aisles and look for every little detail, sometimes those online, avenues just kind of fill in all the, all the details for you.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
I think one of the things is that also, you're speaking of technology and how things have advanced, I think resetting our screen time going from summer to fall has been...
It's kind of a new big thing for us this year, 'cause all three of my boys have phones now.
And how do you let them remain connected- on say their video games and their phones and their Snapchat and whatever the latest app is with their friends, but also, we have to wind that down or cut it back a touch so we can refocus, your job is now school, not just kinda chilling and having fun and being outdoor boys and stuff.
So we have cut back.
The younger boys get one hour and then, uh, my oldest, the high school boy, gets two hours.
And there's apps that are always allowed all the time, like the golf app, so he can go play golf, I actually let them have Fantasy Football all the time so they can, be engaged with friends on that but it's not like a video game they're staring at all day long and melting their brains.
So I think the resetting, the rhythms and resetting of, electronics is a big thing.
Yeah, I would say if we had a tip, it's resetting a number of things.
And electronics is one.
I think sleep is another.
Yes.
And- Huge uh, as I, as I've, um, learned about raising teenagers, I'm starting to go to bed before them.
And this summer, they'd stay up a little later watching a movie or playing a video game, and now we gotta reset where we're going to bed at a reasonable hour because they're gonna have to wake up earlier.
And so it is a combination of the technology, turning it off sooner, putting the phone on the kitchen counter and getting it charged.
And, this doesn't have to be something that's cold turkey.
I remember growing up it was cold turkey.
It was like my mom just said the night before school, "Now you have to go to bed earlier," and you'd just stay there dreaming and all giddy, kinda like Christmas Eve of what- Mm-hmm what school's gonna be like the next day.
And instead, I've found over the years it's easier to start saying, for example, they were staying up till 11 or 12 years ago, and then the bedtime became more like 10:30, 11:00.
And then it got pushed to, like, 10:00 or 10:30, and then it got pushed back to, like, 9:30 or 10:00.
Now I have a 15-year-old, so, you know, he kind of can pick his own- bedtime, trying to give him some autonomy.
But he's also learned how hard it is to wake up if he does not choose wisely.
And so- Yep some of this is them trying to kind of create their own trial and error.
But doing that still at the end of the summer months helps the transition when school finally hits, and they feel a little more like they've reset themselves.
Again, this is, something trying to teach a teenager is a little different than those younger ages.
Let's just say, like, the 5 through 12-year-old elementary years, they need much more structure and being told, where the teenagers have to kind of figure it out.
But we, I'm helping them figure it out ahead of time and not at the last minute.
Mm-hmm.
Well, and I think the slow transition is what you're alluding to as well.
Not just the night before or even two days before, the week before, slowly transitioning it back in so it's smooth.
Nothing's gonna be perfect, and so that's, that's something I'm still processing and working on in my own life.
But just giving yourself more grace and more time, especially with the little ones, as you know how they get.
The witching hour, and then all hell breaks loose.
And then you're like, "Shoot, we gotta get a bath and bed and And then we gotta be ready to roll in the morning.
And so also I think with that, whatever can be done at night to prep for the next day is a really good, practice.
And I like how you said give grace, 'cause it's, doesn't mean you have to get all of that into a schedule.
You had said bath time and for younger kids maybe reading time or there's homework time.
And all those things we had rocking and rolling back in April and May, don't expect, like, 100% come the first day of school.
Sometimes it's just, "I'm glad we just got a bath in," or, "I'm glad we got a book in and got to read a book before bed."
But it doesn't have to be 10 items, you know, scheduled insuc- succinctly.
And it's about resetting, and sometimes that resetting can be a slow roll.
But then there's also adding in routine.
Routine's really important.
So I think the second big tip is, how do we add a different routine than the summer? The summer routine might be sleeping in, grab your own snacks or I'll make lunch at a certain hour.
But now there's a different routine because we have to go somewhere and we have to get prepared in different ways.
So what are some of your tips or tricks for reestablishing some routines, Megan? Ooh.
We try to lay the clothes out we're gonna wear the night before.
I like that.
Actually, when my kids were little, like you're saying, the 5 to 12-year-old or, yeah, probably just even preschool, early elementary school, when they're not wearing diapers anymore, we would bathe and then sleep in the clothes- we were gonna wear the next day.
We'd literally, they'd be like our, quote-unquote, "pajamas."
You know, they're just like- Mm-hmm stretchy shorts and a T-shirt and undies.
So it was like you were already ready.
Mm-hmm.
All you had to...
And they were clean, right? Mm-hmm.
You d- all you did was bathe, sleep in 'em, and you'd get up, brush teeth, eat, put the lunch in the backpack, and go.
And now we shower and as young men, they just sleep in their boxers, their underwear.
And then we have our clean clothes to wear the next day laid out.
So I'd say prep the clothes, lay 'em out.
Hopefully they can pick 'em.
I think the autonomy of letting them pick, "What do you wanna wear today?" the night before is good.
So it's one less thing for them to think about in the morning.
I think two big things you just said.
One was the night before.
You can get so much done if you prep the night before, whether it's putting the snack out they're gonna grab on their way out their door, whether they're packing their backpack the night before, whether they're getting their clothes ready.
You can't get it all done, but you can get pretty close to just having it all laid there.
And I think when you lay things out, they become visual, and then the kids know what they're grabbing and going with.
I do a dry erase board.
So we things that we need to get done ahead of time with a dry erase board, and that helps my kids get into a routine.
But the other thing you said was it eventually creates this habit, right? So anytime we can have routines be consistent and continuous over and over, it just becomes a habit which, as an adult now, I bet you can get up and go because you have created such a habit in your own self of, how do I prep the night before? How do I know what I'm gonna...
you know, what time I need to get up for, what, what I'm gonna grab for breakfast and how I'm gonna get out the door.
So it starts with us, right? We also have to not be rolling out of bed as parents and yelling at our kids to hurry up.
If we start the night before, we can also know all those things and lead the way for our kids, for sure.
Yeah, bags prepped.
What folders do you need for this day? Is your computer charged? Is your laptop charged? Lay the lunch pail out so it's open, and put snacks in.
We'll add the cold stuff and the ice pack in the morning.
What else? I think...
And to go a little bit deeper on a dry erase board, I literally make a box that, that needs to have a check mark through it so that my kids just walk right up to the dry erase board.
They see a box that says, "Brush your teeth," and they visually check it off.
They'll see a box that says, "Pack your backpack."
And so again, if I put that whole list up there the night before, they can check some of those things off and feel like they've already hit their goal or feel like they are getting some stuff done.
And in the morning, they just do the rest of the little boxes.
What do you do for a visual for your kids? You don't do a dry erase board.
No.
We have a skylight thing, but that's more of kind of a schedule.
Your skylight is a visual of what's going on after school, right? I mean- Yes my kids are the same way.
Yes.
Like, "What are we doing after school today? What else is going on?" 'Cause they know what's gonna happen for the six to eight hours they're at school.
Mm-hmm.
But they also wanna know what's gonna happen that evening.
So, even preparing them with a visual of, "Well, today, so and so- Yeah has football at 4:00, and so and so has golf at 5:00."
You know, mine is a matter of, "I'm gonna pick you up here.
We're gonna go to the chiropractor, and then we're gonna go to your lacrosse practice," right? It's kinda helping them either visually see what the schedule's gonna be like, auditorily telling them so that they can start to en- engage Yeah, start to either ask questions.
We're trying to figure out when are we gonna eat, where we're gonna eat dinner in the evening.
Like, again, as moms, we need to start planning this so our kids are gonna ask the questions.
They're gonna need that.
And there's a sense of comfort and peace in all of us when we know what's going on.
Oh, a plan's a plan.
My kids love a plan so they know what to expect, right? And they can help contribute and support the plan.
That's the thing.
If they know they have practice at this time, then, the kiddo knows, "I have this many hours after school to get my homework done, to rest, to have my snack."
So they're not thrown into a tizzy when, say, 5 or even 15 minutes before you have to go somewhere.
You're like, "We gotta go now."
They're like, "What? I never knew."
So I think getting them on board with the plan so they can have ownership towards it and take responsibility for getting their cleats and getting their water bottle, is huge.
And Megan, we are talking a lot about resetting expectations, resetting sleep, resetting electronics, putting in routines.
And what happens if people are following what's going on here, they're losing control.
Our kids are feeling like, "Oh my gosh, you're controlling my sleep.
You're controlling my electronics.
You're controlling what I do every day."
School now becomes this control thing.
And I think a big thing we have learned is when they feel a sense of losing control, how can we give it back to them? What is gonna be helpful to all of our kids when it comes to giving them that autonomy? Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
We've mentioned that word a couple times.
So that they don't feel like they're losing control.
What are some things you still allow your kids to feel like you're not going to jail tomorrow.
Yep, yep.
You know? Like, school is not jail.
Fall is not a terrible time.
How can we ease them into that? Yeah.
I mean, for the older, older children, they know we have school tomorrow, but what time do you wanna wake up? If we're leaving at school this time, you have an alarm, which you're getting up no matter what, so you get to pick the time.
How much time do you think you need to get ready? What do you want for breakfast? You're gonna have breakfast, but what do you want? What do you want to wear? Lay that out.
Do you wanna shower at night or in the morning? So I think there's things that are gonna happen, and we will ensure they happen, but letting them have two options.
And, you know, sometimes I...
We do this so regularly it becomes such a habit to us we don't realize that it's a skill, but for parents who feel lost when it comes to wrangling their kids at night to go to bed, or wrangling their kids in the morning to get out the door, that giving them control can really, it feels like we lose control, but actually you gain more by having this win-win.
Your kid feels like they're winning, you feel like you're still okay with the choices.
So for example go to your room and pick out an outfit, and you go in there 10 minutes later and kids have clothes all over the place.
They don't know what they want.
You, as parents, can still help them structure, "Okay, I'm gonna choose three outfits for you.
You pick one of them."
And so you can reduce the, they say, paralysis by analysis, right? If you overthink it or you're overwhelmed with choice.
As parents, we can boil it down to, "Out of these three snacks, which one do you wanna put in your bag and bring to school today? Out of these two outfits, which one do you wanna do?" Even if it's a matter of no one wants to brush their teeth in the morning.
"Okay.
Well, do you want to pack your bag, or do you wanna brush your teeth first?" Right? Any time we can give kids choices, it gives them some autonomy, and you as a parent can be okay with the choices you give as you give them.
Mm-hmm.
Well, and I think the whole overarching goal of motherhood or parenting is we are trying to create young men who are good, who are kind, who are contributing to society, who love others.
And so these are all the small little steps, creating autonomy to be grown, strong, confident young men someday.
It's this huge goal broken down into little tiny bite pieces every single day.
Yeah.
Our job is to raise productive citizens that can go out and be a part of the community, right? That are adding to the community.
Mm-hmm.
How do we do that? We do that with those bite-sized pieces.
And speaking of men and being badass boy moms, do you think there is some specifics that you do with your boys? I know that we haven't gone into this in great depth, but both my boys, have had a diagnosis of ADHD, which stands for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, and they definitely have more than the average amount of energy, where they jump out of bed and run, run, run hard all day, and even their minds are going really fast.
I have always liked the analogy of telling someone a description of ADHD s- is like having 10 different TVs on at one time, and their attention is being pulled in all these different directions.
And on top of that, they've just got this, maybe they call it a sewing machine leg, where their leg's just always thumping or they always need to be moving something with their hands.
You can share your experience with your boys.
What are some of the things that has helped boys in particular- Mm-hmm transition from this summer to fall, expectations to sit more in school or to pay attention in a different way than they did all summer? Oh, man.
It's tricky because some of this is just them being boys, and then some of them is the environment change.
Couple things.
Protein in the morning.
Get protein in their bodies.
It's very regulating.
It's really good brain food.
Mm-hmm.
Protein is really good brain food.
So protein shakes.
I do, sausages or bacon or eggs.
Eggs.
Yeah.
Yep.
What else? Yogurt.
We're big on yogurt and parfaits in the morning.
Other thing is my kids are now old enough they can bike to school.
So I think movement before school, even, before they were biking, they'd go out and shoot hoops.
Trampolines, even taking the garbage to the end of the driveway, even unloading the dishwasher, right? It can be a win-win, moms, right? We can ask them to help out and be moving.
Lifting things, pulling things, pushing things.
Mm-hmm.
If you just have to boil it down to go run around the house five times, literally, just go run around the house five times.
Yeah.
And if it means they have to go through a fence or jump a fence or have to hurdle the sidewalk, great.
It causes more movement, and the more they're- Up and down the stairs.
Yes, yes.
I mean, we can get creative here and think of lots of things- that just help your, your kids move and get some of...
It's not even like they're getting the wiggles out.
Yes, it could tire them a little bit.
Um, I had someone once tell me, "Is it really wearing them out, or is it just building endurance?" I'm like, "Oh, crap.
Yeah."
Either way, it's fine.
But it's get their body moving, get them prepped so they're ready to be seated at school for a little bit.
And they research out there I, I wish I had better quotes and who to give credit to, but as a school social worker, you know, I lived and breathed this for 20 years, and so the research shows that when you have moved your body, you actually, your brain is now moving at a faster p- it can, it can work better after moving your body.
So when you sit down in that seat, your brain is now charged up versus imagine waking up as slow as a sloth, going, rolling into a seat in class, and you're like, "My brain's not working right now.
It just doesn't feel like it's awake."
You're actually charging, charging the battery by its own self, right? Like a hybrid car.
Every time I put the brake on, it charges the battery.
Mm.
Mm-hmm.
Right? Not that, uh, we're telling our kids to put the brake on.
Uh, what I'm saying, though, is that they are charging their own battery by revving it up, if that makes sense.
I think another thing is, a slow wake-up.
Sometimes I wanna let them sleep as long as I can, but then it's like this mad rush and, you know, I end up yelling, "Get your shoes on.
Get in the truck.
We gotta go, we gotta go."
And that's just not a great way to start the day for anyone.
So I think a slow wake-up for these ADHD kids, is really important.
And let them move at their own pace.
Mm-hmm.
And I would say when we can describe all five of our boys very differently, one of my kids needs the slow wake-up, and the other one loves his alarm, jumps out of bed when the alarm goes off- Oh and he is up and at it.
You're right.
And he- I have one of each one of those, too.
Yep.
So my 18-year-old's like, "Can I just roll around here for about 20 minutes, and then I'll get up?" My 15-year-old's like, "Alarm's off.
I'm erect.
I'm sitting up.
I'm jumping out of bed," and he's throwing those clothes on.
He's brushing his tee- yeah, like, he's, he's my likes to follow the schedule, and the other one just likes that slow roll.
And I even think when we talk about after school, they've been in school all day long, so we do downtime.
My youngest, who's 11, calls it his walk-around time, where he just gets to do whatever he wants.
He gets a snack, walks around the property, just walks around the backyard, walks in the front yard, just kind of doodles, talks to himself, just has his control of what he needs for the first half hour after school, rather than, "Come home, sit down, do your homework, snack," he just needs his downtime oh, if I could give the biggest tip you walk away from today, it's do not overschedule your kids right out of the gate.
From the morning, you're saying you allow, which kid of yours needs that slow roll.
But even after school, if we are just telling them to get in the car and we have this, this, and this going on, and I've already scheduled the next three hours of when you're gonna have snack, when you're gonna do your homework, like, they need to decompress, too.
Um, especially, I mean, we could talk a whole episode on extroverts and introverts.
Mm-hmm.
But I know that for people who have been going all day, having to socialize, having to interact with their teachers and their peers, they want that walk-around time.
Mm.
I love that word, walk-around time, where you just come home and you just get to decompress in your own self.
You get to get in touch with what you're thinking.
You process, in your head how your day was.
Maybe as a kid you're needing that.
Other times, I have kids that are like, "I wanna tell you all about my day."
And so I'm allowing them to lead where they need to be.
Do they need to go sit in their room and just decompress? Do they need to go play in the backyard by themselves? Or do they need to be up in my business being like, "Mom, I wanna tell you all about my day"? And that, can lead to what kind of questions we ask our kids.
There's things called closed-ended questions.
If I say, "Did you have fun today?" Then the answer's gonna be yes or no.
It's a closed-ended question.
It doesn't go anywhere.
But if I say, "What was something fun that happened today?" Well, they can't just say yes or no.
They actually have to think "Oh, yeah, it was really fun in this class or this experience."
So moms, go ask ChatGPT, "What's...
What are some open-ended questions I can ask my kid about today?" And it might be things like, "What did you least expect? Who did you sit with at lunch?" Sometimes I just ask, "What did you eat for lunch?" 'Cause I'm curious.
Did they get some more protein, or did they just eat a bag of chips? So asking those questions can lead into a whole bunch of conversation.
And again, my 15-year-old, who likes to verbally process, wants to talk and share his whole day, and then he's fine.
Then he'll go play in the backyard by himself.
My 18-year-old does not wanna talk when he walks in the door.
It takes longer and maybe not till dinner until we have these question and answer sessions.
I think it's finding the kids sweet spot and e- exactly what they need, you know? And that takes time as we transition back in.
Do they wanna talk right at bedtime? My, my youngest is l- like, needs his walk-around time, and then he, right at bedtime, of course, which I'm like, "Go to bed."
"So I can go to bed."
But that's when he wants to unload and give all the answers, and he...
I don't even have to ask him.
He just starts chit-chatting away.
And my, and my oldest, I have to ask the questions and kinda leave him real open-ended so he can- engage with me.
Mm-hmm.
Uh, the middle one, he's a little different.
He just needs time with him and I, and he'll just start talking.
He...
We need not other people around, where they're all competing to talk and share at the same time.
So I think everyone's different.
As things transition, you know, week one, week two, week three, we get more into a routine.
We get more into our habits and established patterns.
The kids will feel more and more comfortable in the mornings and in the after school transitions and in the evenings.
Not just transitioning from summer into the school year, but you have the opportunity every Sunday night or even every single night to reset, to reset things with your kids.
'Cause no one's perfect.
We're not doing this perfect.
You're not doing this perfect.
Our kids aren't perfect.
There's meltdowns, there's burned dinners, there's overflowing bathtubs.
There's diaper blowouts.
And so just give yourself that grace.
Give yourself the opportunity.
The...
Every day's a new day.
Take it one day at a time.
Slow roll.
Less is more, like Rachel was saying.
Don't pack so much in the day.
I'm like, "You know what? We don't need three club soccer practices this week.
We're doing two."
Mm-hmm.
So sorry.
We're doing two.
I'm not willing to push my kid over the limit or myself over the limit.
Yeah.
And I love how you, you've brought it up twice now.
Like, give yourself grace, mamas.
Give yourself grace.
It's not gonna be perfect on the first day of school.
Maybe not even the 30th day of school.
But if you're just making those little small increments that start to establish one more piece of routine or one more expectation that got met, great.
Celebrate.
Celebrate the positives.
Celebrate the things that are going well.
Yes, try and keep duplicating those and keep tweaking or working on the things that aren't going well.
Grace is huge in motherhood.
I think we give ourselves a really hard time.
We are our own worst critics.
And so give yourself grace, for it's not gonna be perfect.
We're working with little human beings that don't have it all put together.
We don't have it all put together.
So, um, give lots of grace to yourself and also your kids.
They're just trying to figure it out, too.
Yes.
I think, final famous last words, you can handle this.
You've got this.
You know your kids.
You love your kids.
Hug them, kiss them, and encourage them to start strong.
You got this, mamas.
Yep.
Yep.
And your kids got it, right? You have to also empower your kids.
You can handle...
I guess I wanna add one little thing is, my mental health background goes to, there are times when our kids come home, or maybe even before school even starts, and they say, "I don't wanna go," or, "I didn't like it."
And it's human nature to wanna stop the pain, wanna stop the problem, don't wanna deal with it.
And so sometimes there's more underneath the surface than they really just don't wanna go to school.
It might mean, "I just miss summer," or, "I don't want summer to stop," or, "I'm nervous about something."
And so when we can kinda dial into what it is that's causing them to not want to go, it can be that transition from summer and that freedom and, the fun they were having in the summer.
Um, also another one is, Megan, you said it, like, your kid wants to talk to you right before bed.
And I've heard this time and time before from parents that are like, "Oh, he's just manipulating.
He just wants to stay up late."
And I just, I implore you to think of it a little differently in that it could mean that they just want to connect.
It's when their- Mm-hmm brain is finally able to make sense of stuff.
They need a process with you.
I had a kiddo that, um, would play sports, and at 9:00 he'd come home really hungry.
And, um, my ex would say, "He's just manipulating.
He just wants to stay up later."
And I said, "No, he's just hungry."
The kid is just hungry.
He just was at a hockey practice for an hour.
And so I implore you guys to just think a little outside the box.
Was a sign that was always in my office that said, "All behavior has meaning."
And so I think we'll keep bringing this up, episode to episode when it comes to trying to figure out our kids.
It's not always what we think it is on the surface, and it's not always the most negative.
We can actually think, "Why is our kid saying these things or needing something?" Mm-hmm.
'Cause it could actually be coming from a really positive place, and we've unfortunately put a negative stamp on it too soon.
So all behavior has meaning.
It's just getting to the bottom of it.
So back to not only empowering the moms out there, but let's empower our kids that they can handle this school year.
They can handle this transition.
And again, just like we are trying to do it one step at a time or one day at a time, so can our kids.
They can do it one day at a time, one step at a time.
So the biggest takeaways we want you to leave with is help your kids reset habits and establish routines, provide them some control and autonomy, build in movement into the routines, and always give everyone grace.
Filter your decisions through, you know, the mottos and the mantras we like to share with you like, "I can handle this," "Less is more, ladies," and, "All behavior has meaning."
To the masses And the sasses Keep being badasses