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Nick Was The Fattest Baby Ever Born · Nick and Kristen in the Podcast

• 0:11
  Day #7 or episode #7 of the Nick and Kristen in the podcast and
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  day. I think I'm on a month now of
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  the hair. So growing a unemployment hair.
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  Doesn't look much. It doesn't, no, it's not
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  growing, but then all of a sudden it's going to be way
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  different. So join me as I hopefully get to
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  cut my hair soon. We have currently no prospects.
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  If you guys could make this really successful, we'd have a
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  really good number. Pressure guy, Yeah.
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  No pressure, just listen twice or you know, five times if you
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  want to. So the question of the day is,
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  do you ever think of how what picture they're going to use
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  about you in a documentary? No one's ever going to have a
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  documentary of me. If they do, or if I end up
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  murdering somebody and I have to be on a documentary and they
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  bring it because we were watching like the Unsolved
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  Mysteries, whatever. And they have all the
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  documentaries they see. They show pictures of people
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  from like the 1950s of their like very put together, very
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  sophisticated. They're all just like posing and
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  the pictures are all black and white.
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  Everyone looks beautiful and like, Oh my God, look how young
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  and beautiful they were. Turns out they turned out in a
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  psycho, and we were watching it the other day.
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  I'm like, what picture would they use?
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  Because all the modern pictures now don't look as elegant as
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  then. And so I'm imagining they're
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  using high school photos, which, God, I hope not.
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  Yeah, as my senior photo, I look like a mess because, as you
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  know, I don't wear. I have a thick neck.
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  We've talked about this before, and I don't button the top
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  button on any shirt because it just makes my neck look extra
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  thick. And so I had to do that on my
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  senior photo where you had to wear like a suit.
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  It was just like a top that like makes it look like a suit and
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  they buttoned it all the way to the top.
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  So like my pictures, I'm like all crunched into my face and
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  I'm like, I really don't, if I end up murdering somebody that I
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  really don't want them showing that picture.
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  Yeah, I mean, I, I don't know, like I you have.
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  Lovely high. School photos fine.
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  Yeah, my high school pictures are fine baby pictures because
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  they always show those of like she was born just a normal kid.
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  And I feel like I only have like a dozen baby photos that I've
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  ever seen of me. I know my mom has scrapbooks,
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  but I don't think there's other photos of me that exist outside
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  of those scrapbooks. It's not like today.
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  Like I have pictures of Lily at every, every single stage of
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  life because it's so easy. I go into her room at night and
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  just take a picture of her sleeping.
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  She's like, oh, you look cute. Like I have so many things to
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  choose from, but back then it just like it does.
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  We didn't have that many photos. There are like no videos of me.
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  Yes. Like none.
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  We didn't have a video camera. Like that's how old.
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  I'm not even that old. It was just like but.
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  Technology has jumped leaps and bounds since the 80s.
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  I have a picture of when I was born, when I was four, and then
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  I was high school. He goes like, oh, I grew.
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  Really. Really.
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  Fast. I know, but.
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  But it made me realize because we, Kenzie, our friend and
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  wonderful photographer, took new shots of us and I was like, we
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  don't have any professional photos of the family.
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  No photos of like professional photos of the three of us
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  together. And I was like, man, I kind of
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  wish that instead of doing the two of us, we would have done
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  the family. We needed the two of us because
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  like, we're going to use this for future jobs and stuff.
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  But at the same time, I'm like, when does that happen?
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  Because I feel like she's already 7.
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  I don't have like professional photos of us.
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  Yeah, we just have like good photos I guess.
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  Yeah, I don't. But they're like nice selfies or
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  like somebody took it for us. We don't.
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  Have any like pose? We don't have anything like
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  beautiful lighting or lovely outfits.
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  Kansas willing to do it for free.
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  I think that's asking quite a bit.
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  I know, but we'll promote you on our podcast, Kansas.
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  Show she can't wait. But yeah, we should probably do
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  that because I think I think she's at an age now where it's
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  fine. Like there's an age where you
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  just can't get them to sit down and.
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  Right. Well, we might be at that age.
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  Still, but she's a ham now, so she'll post her pictures and
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  stuff like that. But and if you bring up like all
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  your pictures from your kid or your childhood, like you're in a
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  play, you're doing something like, and so those are going to
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  be tragic when they talk about those, of course.
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  And they're like, oh, and she was murdered.
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  And then like all these things. And if they show my baby
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  picture, it's worse than my high school picture because you make
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  fun of me all the time. That was a fat baby.
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  It's do you have it pulled up I. Don't, but I can.
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  OK, It's I have never seen a child look like this.
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  How dare you and I, and I say that with all the love in my
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  heart. I married you.
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  I decided to have a child with you, knowing what you looked
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  like as a baby, knowing what possibly could our child look
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  like. Yeah, thankfully she kind of
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  takes a little bit of oh, God, thanks.
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  But I have never seen such a fat child in my entire life.
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  I had. Lots of baby fats.
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  Yes. I was, I mean, I didn't, yeah.
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  Like I'm not joking when I say you will audibly gasp like you
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  will you will immediately go when you see it.
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  Is that the audible gasp? Audible gasp?
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  That's a bad angle, Nick. It's a bad angle.
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  Is I've never seen such a fat baby in my entire life.
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  Like I think it's just the angle, like I'm squished into my
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  neck. But why do you have such a thick
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  neck already at that? Age I just I was born with a
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  thick neck like I look, and here's I mean the thick neck's
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  not less. Yeah, you just are enormous.
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  You're an enormous child now. You grow out of it.
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  Yes. I do.
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  You grow out of it. It's not like you were this fat
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  like kid. I hate saying the word fat in
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  the like. Like look like.
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  Yeah. Look, I'm adorable.
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  Issue right? Like babies are allowed to be
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  chubbier. It's OK, but I'm just saying
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  like. I didn't even know I had this
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  jawline. I know, right?
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  Like, look at that jawline. That's sexy.
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  But yeah, like, it's an audible gasp photo.
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  It's just a bad photo. Yeah, it's.
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  And then thankfully, Lily looks like you.
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  Let's see. We have your photo.
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  Let's see. Where'd we this is you?
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  Yeah, much less fat. Yes.
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  Well, again, I don't want to say babies are fat like I'm not.
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  I'm not. My mom made a lot of ice cream
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  or. I don't know.
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  But like, I think you were given like a lot of juice.
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  Well, that was, I was like a month old there.
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  Like there's no way I had enough juice there.
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  But I was eventually given a lot of juice.
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  Yeah. I didn't drink milk.
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  And so she gave me juice. Yeah, which instant like like
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  the diabetes, But yeah, so. I know I'm the one that's
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  diabetic, not you. So fat.
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  Oh yeah, that's right. I was like, what are these?
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  How do we even get on? This subject pictures of like if
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  if you were to commit something noteworthy like, what picture
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  would they use? And I would argue that they
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  wouldn't use the audible gasp like huge baby photo.
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  I don't know, I feel like they might now if they if they.
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  Saw that. Well that was an option.
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  If you die in an in an all you can eat rib eating contest, then
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  yes, they're going to use that picture.
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  I'm sure there's a current one. They, they, they all look the
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  same. So I got to tell you about do
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  you remember the Willy Wonka experience?
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  Yes. And the disaster that that was,
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  yes, they had it in Scotland and it was such a disappointment
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  that no one ever really attempted to do that again until
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  recently. There has now been a Barbie pop
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  up that has been just as disappointing.
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  Yes, I've seen this SO. Some folks paid up to $450 to
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  attend the Barbie Dreamfest at the Broward County Convention
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  Center in Florida. OK, but they all they got was a
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  nightmare. It was spilled with just a
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  couple of vendors, some cheesy attractions, a 20 foot to by 40
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  foot roller skating rink, and an interactive dream house that was
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  just a flat cardboard backdrop. So you've seen pictures of this?
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  Yes, they said that. They're basically comparing it
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  to the Fyre Festival and Wonka Experience.
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  Yeah, well, because what it is is these people are coming in
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  and they're they're using these AI images, creating these
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  Flyers, creating these commercials that look like it's
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  this like amazing event they. Spend a bunch of.
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  Money, yeah. And then when you show up, it's
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  this classic bait and switch. You get there there, it's a,
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  it's always in a huge warehouse or a huge ballroom.
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  And so you notice immediately the lack of things to do there.
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  Yeah, they got that sort of, that's their first mistake,
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  putting it in a big area. And so you went to one for Hello
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  Kitty, didn't you? Didn't you say that it wasn't
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  the greatest experience? OK, so this was a local thing,
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  but yes, it was very similar to this.
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  It was a Hello Kitty experience and I thought Lily would have
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  fun with it. Tickets were like $25, which I
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  already thought was kind of outrageous because there was no
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  kid price. It was just like, it's $25 and
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  you got a little package that had some stickers in it and a
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  book for you to go get stamps. And then once you get all the
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  stamps collected on your passport, you get entered to win
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  for a prize. Once they do it like the
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  Vancouver Mall, like the free stuff, like you go, it's just
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  free. But this is charged, right?
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  OK. So we go upstairs and this was a
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  very small room so it looked full.
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  There was carnival games and we had bought a bunch of carnival
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  tickets, but there was only 5 carnival games.
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  And you would go up there and it was like a 10 year old running
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  it. And so you'd be like, how do I
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  play? And they're like, I don't know.
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  No, like nobody knew what they were doing.
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  And I was like, Oh well this is interesting.
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  And there was one lady running around with her head cut off and
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  I was like, hey, are you in charge?
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  And she's like, yeah. And I was like, what are we
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  supposed to be doing? And she's like, we'll play a
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  carnival game. And I was like, well, but nobody
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  knows how to play them. Like the kids running the booth
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  don't know how to play it. And so they were just saying
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  like, well, give me a ticket and I'll give you a prize.
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  And Lily was like, well, I want to play the game, you know?
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  So they're like, we'll try to do this.
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  And so we did each carnival game twice in a span of 10 minutes.
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  And then they were like, there was supposed to be an appearance
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  by Hello Kitty, but apparently that wasn't happening until 4
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  hours later. And so I was like, well, that's
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  not going to happen. And so we're like, well, how
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  does the passport thing work? Like where do we get the stamps?
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  And she's like, you have to go to every vendor and get a stamp
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  from them. And I was like, great.
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  And so we did that. And like, then there was
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  somewhere it was like, count how many Hello kitties are on the
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  poster board. And Lily would make an educated
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  guess and they'd be like, oh, that's wrong.
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  We can't give you a stamp. And I'm like, OK, so we're so
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  I'm like literally counting. I come back, yeah.
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  So then we collected the the stamps and I go up to the lady
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  and I go, where do we put this in for the drawing?
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  And she goes, oh, you did that? And I was like, what do you
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  mean? Did I do that?
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  Like it's the only thing to do. Yeah, you actually accomplished
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  that goal. Yeah.
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  To do. And then, of course, half of the
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  Convention Center was just a shop.
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  Yeah. And so Lily, of course, is drawn
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  to that. And she's like, well, I want
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  this. I want this.
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  And I was like, we're not getting anything.
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  I'm not spending any more money here.
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  And so I ended up buying her a little blanket.
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  And then, like, I was like, all right, we're done.
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  We were in and out in like half an hour tops.
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  Yeah, these pop up shops man. It's horrible.
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  They're crazy. So be on the warning that if the
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  Barbie Dream Fest comes or the helicity thing comes back.
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  Do your due diligence, go on day 2 or something.
• 10:53
  There you go. Yeah, but thank you for
• 10:55
  watching. Thank you for listening to the
• 10:56
  podcast. Don't forget to subscribe and so
• 10:57
  you're notified every day we do this weekdays at midnight.
• 11:01
  They post on YouTube and Spotify.
• 11:02
  Tell a friend. And tell a friend.
• 11:04
  And the more listened, the better and the more we can
• 11:06
  charge for the stuff that nobody's buying.
• 11:08
  Yeah. All right.
• 11:09
  Bye.